Fyi, Chapter 3 Of Knowing Is Safe Is Either Going To Be Pretty Long Or Just A Flashback And Then Another

Fyi, chapter 3 of Knowing is safe is either going to be pretty long or just a flashback and then another chapter. Because time writing the past part and it 3 pages long already.

Bouquet

1079 words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr

Couple: Huxley/Darlin

TW/CW: Implied past toxic relationships ( with a very brief mention of Quinn) Small misunderstanding (It's not a cheat misunderstanding) Requited unrequited love.

Let me know if I missed a TW/CW

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He was always pretty, but right now, with a bouquet of flowers that almost covers his perfect smile, he's radiant. 

“Um, are you gonna- let me in I mean you don't have to but- uh you kind of- just standing and staring at me.”

You shake your head, Huxley laughs, could he be any cuter? 

“You really are a dog!”

“Oh shut up.”

You step aside, to let him into your apartment. Your eyes linger as he passes by, he's wearing a wrestling tee, he loves shirts that show off his muscles, and so do you. He’s a big guy, tall and strong, but he's so soft. 

You close the door, leaning against it.

It still surprises you.

Surprises you that he doesn't use his strength against you. In the beginning, you waited for him to stop pretending to be this soft loving man but every day he proved you wrong. You've got tired of flinching when he moves too quickly, tired of questioning what his true intentions are, tired of waiting for the moment he overpowers you, tired of not letting him in.

You watch as he calmly looks through your cabinets for a vase. A smile creeps up your face as you realize your anxiety is gone. Not completely but you don't have the urge to stop him, afraid that knowing your kitchen cabinets will be too much, that it would bring him closer. You laugh at how stupid it sounds now.

“ What- did- did I do something wrong- oh you don't like people searching your place- sorry dude- I was um looking for a vase. What?!- Don't laugh harder, what's so funny?”

You push off the door as you walk toward him.

“It's nothing, ignore it.”

His face scrunches into a pout, god you want to kiss him. 

“I don't have a vase. So what and who are the flowers for? Did you finally get a date?” Your question hurts you. The two of you have something, you think. There's been flirting and hand holding, you feel like a teen, blushing over the memories of holding his hand. Though that's all, Huxleys is just- friendly, it's nothing, he was comforting you. Or that's what you thought but the way his face fell when you teased him, maybe you were wrong, maybe you ruined it.

“I- there for you.”

He holds out the bouquet to you, but his head is bowed down in shame, but you can see his face darken with blush. 

“ What?”

You laugh out loud. That only makes it worse, he pulls them back. Turns his head away.

“Sorry- I must- I guess I miss understood, Um I'll -I'll just leave- with the flowers.”

He turns the rest of his body walking away.

“Huxs- wait- I- I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to be, you shouldn't be sorry for not - sharing my feelings. I know others make you feel- like you were wrong for that- but I'm not- I want you to be with who you love- or like- and if that's, not me I get it. Take care.”

“You like me?”

He finally turns to face you again, you hate how sorrowful he looks.

“ Yes, I thought- I thought that was obvious- the flirting–”

Once again you were surprised at how different he was, even know he doesn't lash out, you almost wish he did you were used to that. You knew how to deal with that.

“The hand holding”

He clears his throat, shocked you finished his sentence

“Hux’s, I thought that was just what you were like, with everyone. I mean why would you treat me differently, in a good way? I assumed you treated all your friends like that.”

He huffs, but not with anger but like a small laugh.

“ I've never flirted with someone before, and I don't go around holding people's hands- I - I only do that with people I like- romantically- I only do those things with you.”

The two of you stay still, staring at each other, taking in the moment. You can't imagine anything ever being more perfect. It makes you want to cry, but you don't.

“I like you to.”

The words quietly fall from your mouth and you don't know what you want more, for him not to hear you or for him to hear you. The words flutter to his ears and you can see the moment he registers what you say, as his face lights back up, with that smile you wish you could frame in your heart.

He slowly starts to move closer, and you panic, letting yourself ramble.

“I do- I'm sorry I was- like giving a mixed signal- I'm just- I've never been with someone so - soft- someone who waits- they've always been like straightforward- that too nice- they've always been kind of forceful so I thought- you know that's how everyone does it-”

Your words freeze when he gets right up to you, setting the flowers on the counter before his hand gently takes yours, his other hand moves, landing on your chin.

“ Darlin- Can I kiss you?”

Your heart skips a beat, but it's unfamiliar, you were used to your heart jumping out of fear. This wasn't fear, this was excitement, at that name, that question. It was the first time you heard either.

“Yes.”

You thought he looked soft, but you couldn't even describe what his lips felt like, how his body felt better than your bed. This is it, the kiss you read about when you were 10, in those fairy tales. The kiss you tried to pretend Quinn could give you. It feels stupid to cry but you do, you let the few tears slide down your face.

Huxley pulls away, and his hand reaches your cheek, wiping it away.

“ You okay?”

His voice is quiet, and like the rest of him, soft. You look into his eyes, and for once you're not afraid to cry, because it's him, and you trust him.

“I’ve never gotten flowers. Thank you.”

“No problem dude, you're my friend. You deserve flowers.” You blinked at Huxley, you didn't have to use words for Hux to realize why you were looking at him with a raised eyebrow

“Oh- well I didn't- your not just a friend- I just- I didn't wanna break a boundary, y’know?”

You can't help yourself from kissing his sorry face.

“I know Hux. But don't call me dude or friend again.”

“You got it, Darlin.”

my next WIP is part 2 of not your partner, so blooming panic fans should be happy

I’ve been working on this so much the last two days that I’m not sure how I actually feel about it lmao. But! Here you go. David/Angel angst, just for you.

(TW: descriptions of blood and injury, car wrecks. Mind the tags)

Idea

Ok so fake dating Au. Gavin/Lasko

Recently cheated on Lasko wants to make his ex jealous, but isn't sure how and thinks it's just a fantasy that will never happen

"No relationship" Gavin who decides to help Lasko with his revenge

During this "relationship" Gavin helps build Laskos confidence and Gavin starts to fall for the babbling nerd, Lasko is oblivious

I don't have a lot of time on my hand to write so if this inspires someone, please share. If you want to add or write this story please tag me. id love to see it

Id love to see some angst too. maybe lasko thinks Gavin is playing a sick prank after Gavin confesses. OR Lasko goes back to his toxic ex even after all the warnings from Gavin and others.

ugggggggg i love this its so f-ing cute

Undone

An abridged history of Sam, an abridged history of Darlin, and the present of two people who have each other despite it all.

CW: self harm (vampire lets the sun touch him), quinn and alexis as their own warnings, more comprehensive warnings on ao3

Mature, 2.4k words

also on ao3!

I.

Sam doesn’t know exactly what he was thinking when he first started sleeping with Alexis. It had been a while since his last relationship— he was… lonely. That wasn’t a feeling he was used to having; a long history of revolving-door relationships had made sure of that. And Alexis had told him that she wasn’t looking for anything serious either, she wasn’t looking for anything more than sex. 

And he believed her. Like a fool.

It was the kind of mistake that you couldn’t take back once it was made. Most mistakes were like that, but then again most mistakes didn’t damn you quite like this one.

It’s not like he didn’t try.

“This is the last time,” was something he said often.

“Famous last words,” was Alexis’s snarky reply. He always pointed out how that didn’t make sense and she always shut him up with a kiss.

Alexis’s kisses were like the best kind of toxin. They made his knees and resolve weak. And she knew it too. As long as he was within kissing distance, she may as well have had him in the palm of her hand. She didn’t often let him out of kissing distance.

Which is why Sam chose to sit across the booth from her the night he decided to try to break things off for good (again).

He chose his favorite diner in town. It was one he went to often in his days at D.A.M.N.. Maybe it was naive, but he was hoping the familiarity of the diner would give him the strength to officially break things off, that maybe having the home advantage would make it stick this time.

“I know why you brought me here, Samson.” She talked with the straw to her milkshake hanging to the side of her mouth. That habit of her’s always pissed Sam off. “Samson” pissed him off even more. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know why you keep trying this.” She leans towards him, “We were meant to be, don’t you get it?”

“If you knew why I brought you here, why did you come?”

She smirks at him and shrugs. “Wanted to see what happened, I guess. I wonder how you’ll do it this time.” 

“You know that I care about you, Alexis.” She stared at him unflinchingly, steely eyes boring holes into him. “Just… not in the way you want me to.”

“Bullshit.”

Sam takes a deep breath. “I think space would be good for us.”

“Denial is one hell of a drug, isn’t it?”

“I’ve talked to William.” Alexis goes still.

“Bullshit.” She’s not as confident this time, her voice is quieter. She was right about this one, though. Sam prayed to everything above that she wouldn’t further call his bluff.

“I’m serious, Alexis. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Well you didn’t have to go to my fucking maker about it, Sam,” she spit out.

“What else was I supposed to do?” He genuinely wanted to know.

She slides out of the booth and stands at the end of the table, making him look up at her. “I’ll be in the car.”

Sam doesn’t say anything but listens to the sound of her stomping boots as she storms out of the diner. She slams the door behind her and he’s half surprised he doesn’t hear the door break.

Their waiter approaches carrying two plates. A burger for Sam and a side of hashbrowns for Alexis.

“Did your date go to the bathroom?” No harm intended, but Sam still has to actively hold back a wince.

“Uh, no. Can I get the check, please?” The waiter gave him a sorry look before nodding and stepping away again.

He puts his head in his hands once the waiter is out of sight.

Once Sam slides into the driver’s seat of his truck Alexis says, “Space won’t make me love you any less.”

“For the last time, you do not love me. You hardly know me.”

“We spend so much time together, how could I not know you?”

“My name is Samuel, not Samson.”

She doesn’t have anything to say after that.

~

Out of all the changes and losses that vampirism brought to Sam’s life, he didn’t think he would miss the sun as much as he did. Some days he would just sit at his window and watch the shadows change against the trees outside. Some days he would draw his blackout curtains all day, wanting to forget the sun existed entirely. 

He missed how it warmed his skin when he stepped out of cold buildings, how it shined on the smiling faces of his friends, how it turned everything golden at the end of the day. 

There was one afternoon— it was close enough to the end of his bloodlust that the only reason he was still living at Wonderworld was because he hadn’t yet decided if he was staying with the clan or moving away— that Sam found himself outside, standing completely in the shade, but with a ray of sun peeking through the tree’s leaves just in front of him. Swiping his hand once, twice through the sunbeam barely felt like anything. Holding out his hand, he let it sit on his palm for a moment. He held his hand there until he felt sharp and scorching, white-hot pain and when he moved his hand into the shade, the burning didn’t stop. Clutching his hand to his chest, he bit his lip hard to keep from screaming. He holds out his hand to see the skin already starting to blister in a lopsided circle in the center of his palm. He doesn’t even have enough of a handle on his old healing abilities to fix his mistake.

The scar never fades.

He still misses the sun on his good days.

Sometimes he wondered what he did to deserve this eternal damnation.

II.

Darlin had never felt particularly welcome in the pack. They joined as a teen, when everyone else their age had already grown up together and formed bonds they could never hope to compete with. It didn’t help that they especially relied on their friendships outside of the pack and never tried to see the pack members their own age as people they’d ever be close to. 

It was a point of contention with David, especially after he became alpha. It got to a point where he confronted them about it after a pack meeting so boring that they fell asleep.

“Bore you to sleep did I?” Darlin couldn’t tell if he thought it was funny or if it upset him.

“Better than boring me to tears,” they joked.

David’s face stayed stoic. Shit.

“I didn’t mean to, I just didn’t sleep well last night.” A white lie never hurt anyone.

“Why don’t you come out to dinner with the rest of the pack after this?”

“As punishment for falling asleep?” they asked genuinely.

David scoffed. “No, because we are your pack and usually people like to spend time with their pack members.”

Darlin raised their eyebrows. “I’m good, but thanks for the invite.” 

They turned to walk away before David said their name, stopping them in their tracks.

“Come to dinner.” It wasn’t a question.

“Is that an order?”

David looked them over and considered his options. They looked tense. Their hands were curled into tight fists and their nose was twitching. It always did that when they were ready to fight. 

“I want you to know we care about you. We want you here in the pack.”

They roll their eyes. “Just saying that doesn’t make it true, David. I notice how the older pack members look at me when I walk in the room. I notice how I sit alone every at every meeting, even if I’m the first fucking person there. I notice how no one gives a shit about me. You don’t care, not really, so don’t lie to me to try to get me to hang out with these fucking people.”

David is at a loss. They’d never said that much to him about the pack before. He knew they were unhappy, he didn’t know the scope of it all until now. “That’s not true,” is all he can manage to say.

“Fuck off.”

“Come to dinner.”

“Is that an order?” If looks could kill, David would have been dead approximately one minute ago.

“No,” he concedes. Part of being an alpha was knowing when to pick your battles. His stomach sinks as he watches the door close behind them.

It was the last pack meeting Darlin showed up to for a long time.

That was when Quinn stepped into their life. They met through mutual friends and in the beginning he drew them in with smiles and kind words and even kinder gestures. At first, things with Quinn were easier than Darlin ever thought anything could be. He came into their life at the right time. Or the wrong time depending on who you asked. Eventually they started hanging out alone, ditching the mutual friends. Darlin kind of stopped hanging out with everyone after they met Quinn. Not on purpose, but something about him consumed Darlin entirely. He was all they could think about. But the happy stage didn’t last long and by the time it got scary, it was hard to get away. 

There was a point where they thought they might not even get out. That the pack would forget about them, that they’d live forever under Quinn’s thumb.

The only person brave enough to help them escape, scars and all, was one empowered friend of theirs. They had visited out of the blue one day when Quinn happened to not be around and when they had asked about Darlin’s various bandages, they were too exhausted to lie. 

Quinn didn’t let their friend live to regret helping them.

And when Darlin originally lied to David about the department capturing Quinn, they didn’t think it would take over a year for them to find him again. They didn’t think he’d be able to evade them as well as he had. Perhaps they should have learned their lesson the first time they underestimated him.

When David comes to give them hell about lying to him, their skin crawls when they realize what an oversight they had made when they chose to pursue Quinn on their own after the attack. The rest of the pack and their mates weren’t something Darlin had even thought could be impacted. Partially because they thought they could get a handle on it long before it ever got to the point it did, and partially because they were used to handling things on their own. And usually that had been just fine for them. But Quinn wasn’t quite like anything they’d dealt with before.

Sometimes it felt like all they did was lie.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“No, I don’t care.”

“The department took care of Quinn.”

They kept everyone at an arm’s length. No one was allowed to get close enough to see them and if they tried, they were met with teeth and claws and anger. And that seemed to work for them– until they tried to fix their mistake with Quinn by themselves.

III.

“I bet you’d look beautiful in the sun, Darlin,” he says softly. “I’d give everythin’ to see how your eyes look during sunset.”

They tilt their head and look down at his hands holding their own. “Awfully sappy tonight, are we?”

His mouth twists into a crooked smile. “Only for you.” 

They want to push him away. They want to joke and laugh and bring things back to a level that didn’t feel so vulnerable. That’s how he made them feel: vulnerable. But they didn’t laugh, they didn’t joke, they didn’t put both hands on his chest and push.

Instead they reach up, holding both sides of his face, and pull him close. When his lips meet theirs, they feel like they're falling head-first into a black hole. They kiss him harder.

When they first met Sam, they think some part of themselves knew who Sam was going to become to them before they ever got to experience it. Maybe that was why they let him find them that night, maybe he was right after all about them being able to sense him when they entered Waterworld in the first place. Or maybe they were just too busy trying to find Quinn to pay attention. 

They’d never been a particularly open person, even before Quinn, but something about Sam was different. They don’t know what it is about Sam that seems inherently trustful. Darlin isn’t one to trust easily, and especially not with vampires, not anymore.

Allowing anyone, including Sam, to get close to them, choosing to trust felt like playing with fire. He never once made them regret it. If they ever got burned (and never by him), Sam was cool water and a bandage to heal the wound. He made them want to let him get closer to them, to let him in and show him all of their scars, physical and otherwise.

“I like moonlight better anyway, it's more romantic,” they say.

His eyes soften and wrinkle at the corners. There's a smile on his lips but a deep sense of loss in his eyes and an apology on the tip of his tongue. A “sorry” for being a vampire, for never being able to see how they look in the sun. For letting them love him. There’s nothing he could ever say to atone for the sin he believes he’s committed.

He never wanted this life. He could have— should have died happily as a retired healer. Maybe with a partner, maybe just surrounded by friends and loved ones. The prospect of eternity felt more like suffocation than freedom.

“I love you, Sam.”

Tears blur the person— the beautiful, shining, person, who may as well have shaped the sun with their own hands, that stands in front of him. He looks up and takes a shaky breath to keep from crying.

He supposes he might not have ever met Darlin if he was never turned, might not have ever come to love them in this way. 

“I love you,” they whisper.

Maybe this little bit of eternity that he’d get to have with them would make it all worth it.

Maybe they were enough sunshine to last him several lifetimes.