Wip Wednesday

Wip Wednesday

Part two of, not my partner

" did you here the news"

" yeah, 3 months"

" why you so down?"

" 3 months"

" that's what he said. Seriously are you okay"

" we broke up 3 months ago"

' what"

" quest broke up.woth me 3 months ago"

" wait. You said it was mutual"

" I lied, I didn't want to tell people how.stupid I am

"Wow wow, your not stupid, things with you and quest didn't work out. That life."

"After I realized it wasn't romantic love I tried to fall in love with you, fake it till it came true when you started to plan a trip to visit me, I felt guilty, I knew I had to tell you before you spent all that money just to see a boyfriend who doesn't love you the way you thought he did. "

You stopped talking, looking down at your lap, you stared and your hand as it picked at your pants. Your stayed staring and picking as you added more

" that's what he said to me.Know you now how stupid i was.

Xyx sat on the other side of the screen, silent. It killed you, you  had to stop it

“ We were together for 11 months, almost a year. We broke up 3 months ago, and- according to quest, he got with his girlfriend also 3 months ago.”

Bouquet

1079 words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr

Couple: Huxley/Darlin

TW/CW: Implied past toxic relationships ( with a very brief mention of Quinn) Small misunderstanding (It's not a cheat misunderstanding) Requited unrequited love.

Let me know if I missed a TW/CW

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

He was always pretty, but right now, with a bouquet of flowers that almost covers his perfect smile, he's radiant. 

“Um, are you gonna- let me in I mean you don't have to but- uh you kind of- just standing and staring at me.”

You shake your head, Huxley laughs, could he be any cuter? 

“You really are a dog!”

“Oh shut up.”

You step aside, to let him into your apartment. Your eyes linger as he passes by, he's wearing a wrestling tee, he loves shirts that show off his muscles, and so do you. He’s a big guy, tall and strong, but he's so soft. 

You close the door, leaning against it.

It still surprises you.

Surprises you that he doesn't use his strength against you. In the beginning, you waited for him to stop pretending to be this soft loving man but every day he proved you wrong. You've got tired of flinching when he moves too quickly, tired of questioning what his true intentions are, tired of waiting for the moment he overpowers you, tired of not letting him in.

You watch as he calmly looks through your cabinets for a vase. A smile creeps up your face as you realize your anxiety is gone. Not completely but you don't have the urge to stop him, afraid that knowing your kitchen cabinets will be too much, that it would bring him closer. You laugh at how stupid it sounds now.

“ What- did- did I do something wrong- oh you don't like people searching your place- sorry dude- I was um looking for a vase. What?!- Don't laugh harder, what's so funny?”

You push off the door as you walk toward him.

“It's nothing, ignore it.”

His face scrunches into a pout, god you want to kiss him. 

“I don't have a vase. So what and who are the flowers for? Did you finally get a date?” Your question hurts you. The two of you have something, you think. There's been flirting and hand holding, you feel like a teen, blushing over the memories of holding his hand. Though that's all, Huxleys is just- friendly, it's nothing, he was comforting you. Or that's what you thought but the way his face fell when you teased him, maybe you were wrong, maybe you ruined it.

“I- there for you.”

He holds out the bouquet to you, but his head is bowed down in shame, but you can see his face darken with blush. 

“ What?”

You laugh out loud. That only makes it worse, he pulls them back. Turns his head away.

“Sorry- I must- I guess I miss understood, Um I'll -I'll just leave- with the flowers.”

He turns the rest of his body walking away.

“Huxs- wait- I- I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to be, you shouldn't be sorry for not - sharing my feelings. I know others make you feel- like you were wrong for that- but I'm not- I want you to be with who you love- or like- and if that's, not me I get it. Take care.”

“You like me?”

He finally turns to face you again, you hate how sorrowful he looks.

“ Yes, I thought- I thought that was obvious- the flirting–”

Once again you were surprised at how different he was, even know he doesn't lash out, you almost wish he did you were used to that. You knew how to deal with that.

“The hand holding”

He clears his throat, shocked you finished his sentence

“Hux’s, I thought that was just what you were like, with everyone. I mean why would you treat me differently, in a good way? I assumed you treated all your friends like that.”

He huffs, but not with anger but like a small laugh.

“ I've never flirted with someone before, and I don't go around holding people's hands- I - I only do that with people I like- romantically- I only do those things with you.”

The two of you stay still, staring at each other, taking in the moment. You can't imagine anything ever being more perfect. It makes you want to cry, but you don't.

“I like you to.”

The words quietly fall from your mouth and you don't know what you want more, for him not to hear you or for him to hear you. The words flutter to his ears and you can see the moment he registers what you say, as his face lights back up, with that smile you wish you could frame in your heart.

He slowly starts to move closer, and you panic, letting yourself ramble.

“I do- I'm sorry I was- like giving a mixed signal- I'm just- I've never been with someone so - soft- someone who waits- they've always been like straightforward- that too nice- they've always been kind of forceful so I thought- you know that's how everyone does it-”

Your words freeze when he gets right up to you, setting the flowers on the counter before his hand gently takes yours, his other hand moves, landing on your chin.

“ Darlin- Can I kiss you?”

Your heart skips a beat, but it's unfamiliar, you were used to your heart jumping out of fear. This wasn't fear, this was excitement, at that name, that question. It was the first time you heard either.

“Yes.”

You thought he looked soft, but you couldn't even describe what his lips felt like, how his body felt better than your bed. This is it, the kiss you read about when you were 10, in those fairy tales. The kiss you tried to pretend Quinn could give you. It feels stupid to cry but you do, you let the few tears slide down your face.

Huxley pulls away, and his hand reaches your cheek, wiping it away.

“ You okay?”

His voice is quiet, and like the rest of him, soft. You look into his eyes, and for once you're not afraid to cry, because it's him, and you trust him.

“I’ve never gotten flowers. Thank you.”

“No problem dude, you're my friend. You deserve flowers.” You blinked at Huxley, you didn't have to use words for Hux to realize why you were looking at him with a raised eyebrow

“Oh- well I didn't- your not just a friend- I just- I didn't wanna break a boundary, y’know?”

You can't help yourself from kissing his sorry face.

“I know Hux. But don't call me dude or friend again.”

“You got it, Darlin.”

THIS! THIS!! OMG. I love it cause it's fantastic.

As someone who has had sensory overload, this is an excellent interpretation.

AND the way Huxley, without instruction, knew what would help, knew how to calm Damien, so much that he fell asleep, HE FELL ASLEEP.

Highly recommend , Highly loved by me

You Came? You Called.

Damien has had a week and finally breaks down, Huxley is there to comfort him however. [new fic] As requested by the lovely @espressoth

Huxley took his hands out of the warm water and began drying them quickly. He was in the middle of washing the dishes when Damien called and he dropped anything to answer him. His half dry hands grabbed the phone and right before he hit the answer button, the call screen disappeared. His brow furrowed as he stared at his phone knowing it didn’t ring anywhere near long enough for it to have gone to voicemail for Damien. He hung up before Hux even had the chance to answer. Something was wrong and Huxley knew it. He knew his partner. He was quick to grab his keys and bag and he was out the door. 

Damien was in his bed, breathing heavy, temperature unbearably hot. He was overheating in every sense of the word. He watched the phone shaking in his own hands as the thoughts swarmed through his head. I shouldn’t have called him. I should just leave him alone. He doesn’t want to hear from me. He wouldn’t want to deal with this. He would help. Fuck. Why can’t it just shut up. The room was too hot, he was too hot, everything felt like it was burning up inside him. This week was too much. Everything about this week was too much. Everything from school to family had been exhausting this week and he finally snapped. He thought maybe escaping to a bathroom break during one of his classes would help cool him off but that only made the situation worse. The second he got to the bathroom he started trying to cool off, regulating his breathing, and a group of guys walked in. They were loud, too loud. And he snapped. He left the now heated room, slamming the door behind him, leaving the group to stare at the fire elemental storming out. 

He felt those stares on his back as he left, practically hearing the laughter echoing afterward. This was just the start of it. He knew he needed to get home as fast as possible before he blew up on campus. He knew what came after this. The overheating, the anger, the frustration, the meltdown. Every door he walked through was slammed behind him and he couldn’t find it in him to care right now. He needed to leave. Everything, the way his shoes squeaked on the wet sidewalk, walking past people talking, someone's laughter, sent him hurling faster and faster towards the edge. Once he reached his door he finally took a breath, shaky as it may have been. He stood there grasping at anything he could in himself to gather himself. He didn’t want to have this breakdown, not right now, not ever. It frustrated him to no end that he couldn’t get a hole of himself, he couldn’t talk himself down. All he could do was talk himself in circles and he fucking hated it. He hated that loss of control. 

It didn’t take long for him to collapse onto his bed, holding back his own tears. His hands were shaking as he picked up the phone. He knew Huxley would help. He was a calm presence and he knew that stability would help. But somehow it scared him to hit the call button. He knew he was safe with Huxley but at this point he was so in his head already. He was spiraling and he was doing it fast. He hit the button. The noise of the call connecting rang out into the room. His head was spinning with the ringing. He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn’t bother him. Fuck. fuck he shouldn’t have done this. He shouldn’t bother him with this. Fuck. He deserves better. He has enough going on. Leave him alone. He’ll leave. Fuck. He hits the end call button. He hopes Huxley is busy with something else. He turns his phone off. 

Not long after that a knock at Damien’s door pulled him out of his spiral even for a brief moment. Who the fuck could be at his door right now. Why can’t everyone just go away. Please just go away. Go away. But he made his way to the door, reluctant and irritated. Peeking outside the door he saw Huxley was standing there, breathing heavily. What the hell? He swung the door open fast, standing in front of his boyfriend. “Huxley what the hell are you doing here?” Damien stared up at him, confusion, almost anger boiling out towards him. The second it came out though he knew he shouldn’t have said it like that, the frustration with the world soaked the words and he hated that they were said to Huxley. The thoughts began echoing in the back of his mind again. “I uh, I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He looked down at his clearly overwhelmed boyfriend, worry etched across his face. He could feel the heat coming off of Damien from here. And he knew Damien didn’t mean the words he said and he wanted to tell him that, but now wasn’t the time. And Damien stared at him in silence, a trace of surprise in his eyes as they stared at each other for a moment. All until Damien looked away from him, eyes focused downwards as he spoke softly. “You came?” The crack in his voice was barely audible as he stared at Huxley’s shoes. Noticing that they were tied in a loose knot. Quietly hating the tears that were threatening to spill over again. “You called.” Huxley’s voice was steady and assuring. He knew reaching out to touch him would be anything but helpful right now, so he stayed, waiting on Damien’s reaction. And just like that Damien broke down. Those two words were enough. His shoulders began shaking, the tears rolled quickly down his cheeks. He took a step back into his apartment, allowing Huxley in with him. Huxley was quick to act, moving into the apartment with Damien, and closing the door quietly and quickly. He kept his voice low when he said “Do you want to go to the bedroom?” A simple nod was all Huxley needed to begin quickly moving with Damien to the bedroom, taking however long Damien needed to get there. Once they got there Huxley made quick work. He helped Damien get situated in bed, ensuring there weren’t too many blankets surrounding him and helping him take off the hoodie he couldn’t muster up the ability to take off sooner when he was too overwhelmed with everything already. Next he moved the bag off of his back, one Damien hadn’t even noticed at first. Huxley was careful to be quiet and gentle with it as he opened it, trying to not make too much noise, remembering how Damien had described noise as a sort of scraping feeling against his brain, only getting worse at times like this. The first thing he grabbed out of it was Damien’s noise canceling headphones. Damien hadn’t even attempted to look for them when he got home and was relieved to see Huxley had brought his extra set he left there. Another searing tear poured over the edge as he grabbed them from Huxley. Damiens hands were still shaking with frustration that he couldn’t get his tears under control, couldn’t get the swirling in his head to go away. And the second the headphones were around his head, cutting off the noises from the surrounding world, he felt a sense of peace in his head for the first time in hours. The yelling became a hum, still there but not nearly as loud as it had been. 

Once Huxley saw Damien’s mind ease a bit at the pressure now around his head, quieting the world around him, he grabbed the next thing out of the bag. He held up the water bottle to his partner and tapped lightly on the bottle in question. Damien looked at it and quickly nodded, knowing water would help the situation. Huxley gave a thumbs up in silent acknowledgement and stood from the bed and made his way quickly to the kitchen. In his moment alone, Damien used it to breathe, attempting to calm his still shaking shoulders and the quiver in his lip. You’re being ridiculous. You shouldn’t be reacting like this. You can’t be like this around him. Yes I can. You’re safe with him. He’ll take care of you. What if he leaves me because of this. His mind was still a battlefield as he tried to wrestle the bad thoughts down.

Huxley was quick to return, straw already at the ready for Damien to drink as he pleased. Damien managed to smile at the small detail and carefully took the bottle from Huxley. The drink was cold in his mouth and felt incredible against his unusually dry tongue. Hux stood for a moment watching Damien before moving towards the window in the room. Damien looked over as Huxley pointed at the blinds, another silent question. Damien nodded, appreciation now written across his face. Huxley knew Damien and Damien could see that in this moment. Huxley offered a smile to his boyfriend and began slowly pulling the shade, carefully closing the room into darkness. Huxley then moved towards the bed, and tapped his hand three times. Their nonverbal sign question of “touch?” It was moments like these that Damien was unbearably happy to have set those signals up together in the first place. But he stared at Hux for a moment, contemplating. 

Finally managing to move his hands to fan himself and point at Huxley, another signal. Their signal that Damien knew he was hot and didn’t want to hurt Huxley. But again, with a small smile this time, Huxley tapped his own hand three times. With that the tears threatened Damien’s eyes again as he nodded. So Huxley crawled into bed next to Damien, allowing Damien to lay his head on his chest. Careful to not touch areas Huxley knew overstimulated Damien, he laid his arm around his partner. And for the first time in what felt like ages, Damien took in a deep breath. He stared up at the ceiling from his point of view on his back, head on Huxley’s chest. Completely enveloped in quiet with his headphones on as he closed his eyes.

Damien woke to Huxley’s fingers combing through his hair slowly and carefully. The headphones had come off some time ago during his nap, but he didn’t wake for that. He woke to the calming sensation of his boyfriend's fingers wrapping around his hair. A slow and calculated pattern as he wove through his hair. Safe. He opened his eyes and moved his head to look at Huxley to see a slight smile on his partner's face, a look of contentment. He smiled back at him, not caring about anything else in the world at that moment. All that mattered right here, right now was each other. A few moments into the moment of contentment was when Damien noticed how quiet his mind had finally gotten. He still didn’t feel quite ready to try speaking, he knew how delicate this stage was. Huxley did too, so his steady pace in Damien’s hair slowed to a stop as he moved one of his fingers to his mouth and tapped twice. The signal asking if he could speak or if that would be too much for Damien right now. Damien responded with a nod. 

“Is there anything I can do for you right now baby?” His tone was hushed as he looked at his boyfriend. Damien watched him for a moment, thinking over the options in his head. Eventually leaning his head back down on Huxley’s chest, and tapped the top of his head. Huxley smiled at the small gesture and put his fingers back in Damien’s hair, slowly returning back to his previous pattern. Damien let out a sigh of relief again, focusing on the hand in his hair. Safe. He knew he was safe in this moment, here with Huxley. Those feelings from before, his worry and fear that Huxley would leave him over this vanished with every comb through his hair. He was safe. Huxley wasn’t going anywhere and the rest of the world could wait. 

For right now, he was safe and he was loved. And that’s all he needed right now.

Part 2 will be out tomorrow, and there will be more than 2 parts.

Im writing the second part of "knowing is safe" and it's mostly cutie being paranoid and gosh is it hurting my brain writing it.

my next WIP is part 2 of not your partner, so blooming panic fans should be happy

Part 2 will be out tomorrow, and there will be more than 2 parts.

Knowing is Safe

984 words

Fandom: Redacted asmr

Couple: Geordi/Cutie

Takes place during the newest Geordi audio(Your boyfriend asks for your trust) So spoilers for that video. It is what I imagine Cutie says and thinks. I plan on doing another part. All of Geordi's lines arent mine I just typed out what was said in the audio.

Words indented like this are Cuties thoughts

Trigger warning: Unhealthy parenting, Implied eating problems, argument, non-consensual mind reading.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Past

“Repeat after mom, Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Good. I know I've given you this talk before, but you still haven't learned. We were given this ability, to protect ourselves, and the ones we love. Others believe we just listen in, that our ability is simple. It's not, we are inspectors, we tune into a brain, and we will know all we need, including who wants to hurt us.”

This is stupid, it's just re-

“No”

You looked up at your mom, confused.

“You said you 'd stop reading my mind without asking.”

“I know but as I said, telepathic powers are to protect us. As your mom, I need to be in your mind, as much as possible, to protect you. whether you want me in there or not. Do you understand sweetie?”

You nod, whispering yes in your head. Your mother preferred thoughts over words, she says that they're pure.

Present

“You didn't always have powers, you lived your whole childhood without them, without hearing anyone's thoughts. You were raised in a house where people had magic and you didn't, not at first, not until you were old enough. Didn't that ever make you feel vulnerable, different?”

“All the time, I never had a moment to myself, she was always in my head. But it was a good thing, she always knew when I needed help, and I never had to tell her anything. It was a good thing, that's what she taught me, she protected me, and that's what I want to do for you. I just want to always know you're ok and safe. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I can't.”

“Okay.”

 The oven goes off, and before you can ask Geordi, refuses the food.

“I think I'm going to sleep.”

Your mouth opens but shuts when Geordi specks.

“ Because I'm tired and you don't seem to have much to say anyway, so maybe sleep will  help clear my head a bit”

“Ok, ill- ill sleep on the couch toni-”

"No, I don't want to sleep separately tonight I'm upset but that doesn't mean I want you gone, it's our bedroom, it's our bed, both of us just because, just because I'm hurt doesn't change that. Good night."

And he's gone, leaving you alone, with your thoughts, something you've never been used to. You look down at the dinner he made, letting your thoughts take over.

I can't eat.

but he made it for you.

That was before you hurt him.

But he still loves you.

But he didn't say it.

But he does.

How do you know?

He still wants them.

To use them.

No, he loves them.

Or he's just not cruel enough to kick you out this late.

He loves them.

No h-

Stop, theyre not breathing.

Shit!

breath.

Breath.

Breath.

Good, keep breathing.

Eat, you forgot to pack lunch.

No cant, not hungry.

That's a lie.

Don't want to, not worth it.

Then go to bed.

What bed?

Your bed.

Yours and Geordi's bed.

Not ours anymore.

He said-

Shut up, why am I such a mess, my thoughts aren't like this, there organized.

You love him.

That's not an answer.

Your worried.

Worried, of course I'm worried, I'm always worried about him. He doesn't let me in, and I can't keep him safe from outside.

He doesn't need your protection.

He doesn't need you.

Your worried about losing him.

I'm always afraid of that, nothing in the world is trustworthy.

You worried he'll leave.

You shake your head and decide you need rest. You walk to the couch when you remember that he wants you in his room.

It's your room to.

You hesitantly walk to your bedroom, then back to the kitchen, then back again. You repeat to yourself to breathe as you open the door, you take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent of your partner calm you. 

"Geordi? Are you asl-"

"No, I'm not asleep yet."

You take a few steps, towards the bed, looking at Geordi’s back, so stiff, so uncomfortable, you want him to relax, be happy.

Maybe massage would help.

You think he wants you touching him?

What about snuggling?

Even worse, you'd smother him.

You already do.

I didn't mean to. 

Doesn't matter, he hates you.

He doesn't hate you, he loves you.

How would you know?

Say it, if he says it back-

Then he's just being nice.

no - he's not like that, he tells the truth.

He didn't at the pool party.

You didn't give him the chance.

Shut up. Just say it.

"Geordi? I um I love..."

Come on finish the sentence.

What do you love? Breaking his boundaries?

No.

Then why do you do it.

"I love you to"

See they love you

He's lying.

No, he not.

Check then.

No don't, that'll make things worse.

Only because you'll know the truth, that he doesn't love you and he's disgusted by you.

You enter Geordi’s thoughts, just to get away from your own, but you regret it. He's fighting with himself. Your heart breaks more, he doesn't know if he loves you, and worst you know he has every right to question his love. Even when you leave his thoughts, your thoughts repeat as your back is facing him, but not touching.

“Maybe trying isn't enough”

It isn't.

Then just stop.

Stop trying?

No.

Yes.

Just stop trying and start succeeding.

What?

Don't enter his mind, ever

ever?

Ever. not even if he says it's okay.

But what about his safety?

He’ll still be safe.

But why?

To make him happy.

 But I'll be miserable.

And paranoid.

But he’ll be happy.

He's been hinting at this.

When?

He said you're too used to being in people's minds, so stop.

But that's my job.

Then stop doing it outside your job.

You need the break anyways.

You'll have more energy for work.

There are no cons.

 Okay.

Then it's settled, this power is only for work.