Gentle Dominance

Gentle Dominance

We all see plenty of images and videos on here with expressions of aggressive Dominance. Submissive faces pressed into the sheets as they’re taken from behind. Cute mouths gaped wide to take their owner’s intent into their throat.

But what about the more gentle forms of Dominance that brings them back to you without having to launder the sheets after?

What about braiding her hair for her and picking out a ribbon for her to wear in it?

Reading her a story while she soaks in a hot bath?

Polishing up her work shoes while she makes dinner? (or making dinner while she polishes her work shoes… whatever your gender role preferences are)

Teaching her something new, like putting in phone numbers for trusted resources in her phone and teaching her which one is which. Like your favorite towing company in case her car breaks down and you’re not able to get to her side fast.

How about teaching her how to check the oil level in her car or how to inspect her tires for wear? Yes, you’ll probably do this for her anyway but this shows you care about her, her safety and her situational awareness.

Let her teach you how to cook one of her preferred meals so you can step up when she gets sick. (Yes, this counts as Dominance because your instructing her to teach you how to take better care of her when she’s down)

Tying her shoes for her.

Brushing her hair out before bedtime.

Setting out bath items for her and selecting a bath bomb for her to use that evening. 

Get inventive. Be caring. Dominance doesn’t have to be this stoic and distant figurehead whenever it’s not horny time.

How does dabi drink??? Doesn't the liquid just fall in between the staples on the sides of his mouth????

i remember i once heard this dude question if maybe the reason god kicked man out of the garden of eden wasn't to punish us, but so that our knowledge of good and evil would *matter*, we'd need firsthand experience with suffering to TRULY understand why making others suffer is wrong

but in a way that kinda put us a step above god, who is a being of lawful morality but had never suffered himself. (the guy also proposed that maybe part of god WANTED us to surpass him, that's why he made us. that's why he put the fruit so close within reach.)

god knew his law, but had never suffered or felt the consequences of his law. so that's why he thought flooding the earth or condemning people to hell was fine.

the dude left off there but it got me thinking about the crucifixion. because that's when god DID suffer. and after he suffered, he granted us mercy.

i never understood the idea that hw had to sacrifice himself to pay off a debt that we owed HIM and that HE decided the punishment for. why not just wave his hands and say we're forgiven?

but the implications of this. the crucifixion didn't redeem *us*, didn't make us worthy of mercy. no, it redeemed *god*, taught him how to GIVE mercy.

and idk to what extent i believe this interpretation, or how much i even believe the book it's based on. but wow is that interpretation weirdly freeing to consider, after a lifetime of being told that all that suffering was my fault

First Aid Basics

I just got certified in CPR and First Aid last month with the American Heart Association. I wanted to share this information with you, because a lot of what we see on TV is not at all accurate as to what you’re supposed to do to actually help someone. Here are some of the topics that were covered:

First Aid Basics

Here are the steps you should follow when addressing a situation where a person may be injured/unconscious: 

Check to make sure the scene is safe- you are no help to anybody if you also get hurt

If the person is responsive: “Are you okay?”

If they are unresponsive, hit their shoulders hard and yell: “Are you okay?” to see if you can rouse them

Phone 911 and put the phone on speaker (you can delegate this task to somebody else if you’re not alone)

Have somebody get a First Aid kit (don’t leave the person if you’re by yourself unless the 911 operator tells you to)

Is the person conscious? Unconscious?

Check them for any obvious signs of injury

Check them for medical jewelry

Remember

Time is of the essence! Be decisive and confident. 

Don’t be afraid to call for help and assign people tasks

You can only perform CPR on a flat service. If a person needs CPR and is on a bed or in a chair, move them to the floor immediately. Don’t worry about hurting their head or anything, if they don’t get CPR immediately, their life expectancy is significantly less. (See my CPR post for full details)

Do not move the person unless the area they’re in is unsafe. If you have to move the person, drag them by their clothes and pull them to safety.

Adult Choking

There are both mild and severe cases of adult choking. In a mild case, the person choking will be able to make a sound or cough loudly. Typically these cases resolve themselves. 

Ask: “Are you choking? Can I help you?”

If the person cannot make a sound or cough in response, they are suffering from severe choking.

Walk around back of the person and put your arms around them

Make a fist with your dominant hand

Place your fist slightly above the belly button and below the chest bone.

Grasp the fist with your other hand

Give quick upward thrusts

If the person is overweight or pregnant, put your arms around the person’s armpits.

If you are unsuccessful in removing the blockage, the person will quickly become unresponsive. You will need to perform adult CPR and call 911.

After chest compressions (see above link) check person’s mouth to see if the thing they choked on is visible. If it is visible, remove it. Never going digging around in someone’s mouth. 

Amputation

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put gauze on the wound and apply pressure until the bleeding stops

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top and keep applying pressure until the bleeding stops

Clean the amputated part with water

Warp the amputated part with dressing 

Put the amputated part in a small plastic bag

Get a larger plastic bag and fill it with equal parts ice and water

Put the small plastic bag inside the large plastic bag

Label the bag with person’s name and time of the injury

Asthma (How to Operate an Inhaler)

People diagnosed with asthma will typically be aware of it and may have an inhaler on them. If someone has an asthma attack:

Ask them: “Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?” 

The person will probably be able to give some sort of indication in response

If they need their inhaler: 

Locate the inhaler

Put the medicine (metallic capsule pictured below) in the inhaler if it is not already in there, it will click into place

Shake the inhaler to activate the medicine

Attach the mouth piece if it’s unattached (not all inhalers have one, it is not pictured below)

Remove the cap (cap is darker blue piece pictured below)

Have the person put their head back

Put the inhaler in the person’s mouth

Push down on the canister and have them breathe out slowly

They should begin to feel relief immediately, but you should still have them sit down and take it easy for a while

Call 911 if they are still having difficulty breathing after the inhaler has been administered

Bee Sting

Usually bee stings present only mild irritation and pain. If the person stung has a severe allergic reaction, you will need to call 911.

Get a first aid kit

Scrape away the bee stinger and venom sack using a credit card or something similar in nature

Wash the affected area with lots of soap and running water

Wrap a bag of ice in a towel and place it over the affected area for 20 minutes or until the pain is gone

Watch the person for up to 30 minutes for signs of an allergic reaction

Call 911 if they present any classic allergy symptoms

Bleeding from Nose

Have the person lean their head forward

Get a First Aid kit

Or have someone else get one

Have the bleeding person apply pressure to the bridge of their nose using gauze from the First Aid kit

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops

Call 911 if the bleeding lasts longer than 15 minutes

Heat Cramps/Dehydration

Can lead to heat exhaustion! These typically happen when someone is dehydrated and tries to do lots of physical activity.

Have the person sit down and cool off

Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes

Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred

Heat Exhaustion

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Have the person lie down

Cool the person by pouring water on them or wetting them with wet cloths until they begin to act normally

Have them drink something with sugar and electrolytes

Water will work in a pinch but sugary drinks and gatorade are preferred

Wait with them until help arrives

Opioid Overdose

My instructor said that these will often happen in an unsafe or an isolated environment. Always check to make sure that the scene is safe- look out for needles. 

Naloxone is used to revive people who have overdosed on opioids. If you find someone who has overdosed on opioids you happen to have naloxone on you and know how to administer it, the American Heart Association recommends that you use it instead of waiting for help to arrive.

Responsive:

Yell for help

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Wait with the person until help arrives

Unresponsive

Yell for help

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Perform five cycles of adult CPR

Wait for help

Seizure

Seizures are abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Typical seizure symptoms: spasms, muscle rigidity, and unconsciousness. Seizures typically last between 60-90 seconds before the person gains consciousness. 

Do NOT touch the person who is having a seizure

Do NOT put anything in their mouth

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

If there are people around, ask them to get a First Aid kit while you wait with the person having the seizure

Don’t leave the person having a seizure if you are alone

Move objects away from the person having the seizure so that they don’t knock into them

If possible, place a small towel/pad underneath the person’s head

If the person starts vomiting, turn them over on their side so that they don’t choke

If possible use gloves and an eye mask from a First Aid kit to avoid exposure to bodily fluids

After they come to, they may be bleeding from the mouth. 

Use gauze from a First Aid kit to stop the bleeding

Have them apply pressure with the gauze until the bleeding stops

Stay with the person until help arrives

Splints

Splints should be significantly longer than the injured area. They’re used to constrict movement, so the person is injured should not be able to move freely once the splint is applied. Splints are use to treat broken/dislocated bones. It’s very difficult to tell if a bone is actually broken or just dislocated, so don’t worry about it and just splint the thing.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids

Cover exposed wound area with gauze

Do not remove the gauze if it’s bled through- this will remove any blood clots that have formed. 

If the gauze is bled through, add more gauze on top until the bleeding stops.

Place a strip of rigid material underneath the injured area

Use gauze/dressing from the First Aid kit to secure the splint by wrapping material above and below the injured area

Never tie material directly over the injury

Have the person stay as still as possible until help arrives

Stroke

Strokes are caused from blockage/bleeding from things like blood clots. Typical signs of a stroke: face drooping (or numbness), arm weakness (or numbness), and speech difficulty. There is nothing much you can do except wait with the person and try to make them comfortable until help arrives.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Note the time that the stroke symptoms began (this will help hospital technicians)

Stay with the person until help arrives

Tourniquets

Some First Aid kits will come with a pre-made tourniquet. If your kit does not have a tourniquet you can make one fairly easily. Tourniquets should only be used for injuries where the person is squirting blood. No squirting blood? Use a splint.

Call 911 and put the phone on speaker

Get a First Aid kit

Both these steps can be delegated to someone else if they’re around

Put on gloves/eye glasses from the First Aid kit to avoid contamination from bodily fluids

Fold cloth or a bandage so that it’s long and an inch wide

Wrap the the bandage/cloth two inches above the wound

Never apply a tourniquet bandage/cloth on a joint (like elbows or knees). 

Find a small stick

Place the small stick atop the cloth/bandage and tie it there

You can now turn the small stick to tighten the cloth/bandage

Have the injured person lay down and try to move as little as possible

Do not remove the tourniquet- even if the bleeding stops.

Wait until help arrives.

I’m beautiful like a doll, cruel like a god

If I was a man I'd be accused of mansplaining but in reality I think everybody else is just stupid and I'm the epitome of knowledge