Whaaaaaaat?? Mackerel Trying Something New??? I Actually Really Like This A Lot!! I Had A Lot Of Fun

Whaaaaaaat?? Mackerel trying something new??? I actually really like this a lot!! I had a lot of fun drawing him!! Thank you Ollie for being the model for the style!!

There was a really pretty book cover and I wanted to see if I could do something similar to the style. I was way off, but it was still fun!!

I might play around with it a bit more later tonight!!

Anyway, some fun facts about Ollie!!

I kind of injected what I want to bring to the world, into Ollie. He's funny and caring and smart and eager to learn and do. And I want to be like that.

For Ollie himself, he is my oldest character in this show. I made him back in middle school/early high school as this happy excitable dog who likes camping and adventures. He's gone through many changes throughout the years but that has stayed the same.

Ollie is big into clowns and will go on little clown outings with his friends, where they dress up and do a little photoshoot.

He doesn't know how to sew but really wants to learn how.

At the beginning of the story we are actually celebrating his 19th birthday!

He has quite a piercings, but I forgot to draw them.

I think my favorite character changes depending on whose playlist I'm currently making. Cause I've been making Ollie's for a bit and it's so fun to listen to. It has made me develop him more as a character. Especially things like what he watched growing up and his style and other things I cannot think about right now.

Ollie, you are my favorite now and I really wanna draw you more. But unfortunately, I am sleepy. And this sleepy guy does not want to reach over less than a foot away and open my sketchbook. I want to take a nap. And sing. I really wanna sing.

This is about Ollie and Lucky Against the World btw. I was fully prepared to post this without clarifying. I don't actually know very many characters named Ollie.. Anyway, I wanna ramble about him, but I do not know what stuff future me wants to keep secret, sooo... Thems the breaks I guess

This is going to be a rambley about my romantic identity because I have no idea what I feel.

My labels aren't fitting correctly again, but in an "I am learning more and doubting what I previously thought" kinda way. Like, it's not bad, but it certainly feels weird.

I know that I am aromantic. I don't know what specific kind of aromantic I am, and I do not know why I am obsessed with finding the little box I fit in. Like, I can't really be happy until I find the thing that matches exactly what I feel 100% of the way. But the thing is, what I feel frequently changes. I am so wiggly and I need to calm down or I will lose my mind.

And I never think about my sexual identity because that's something that I don't really care about.. I feel like that sounds off but it's true. I don't care if I'm asexual or allosexual because I never really paid attention to that. I tend to ignore it completely so I don't know why I hold onto a sexual label. And I learned that apparently I can just not!! Like I don't have to put a label on that!! I don't know entirely what that entails or all the little details, but I can stay up all night googling if I need to!!

And another thing that I gripe about with my own personal romantic attraction! What the fuck is up with the wishy-washy love romance hate romance!? Get it together Mackerel! I don't understand why I get these fluttering feelings at the thought of romance and then feeling like I'm sick when I picture myself in those spots. Like what the fuck is up with that? Internal romance Mack, explain.

Another thing that fits with the last blurb, I love silly romantic tropes (sometimes), but the thought, sight, and sound of kissing makes me get the icks. Like, I love the idiots in love trope, it is my favorite ever. Maybe because they feel more like friends but with the flutters, I don't know. But picturing characters in that trope on dates is fine, holding hands is fine, kissing crosses the line, pet names makes me take a lap, and I could not give any less of a shit about them fucking.

Did I talk about my one week long, long distance relationship? I don't think I did, but I pulled the plug on that immediately because I got queasy and uncomfortable at the romantic things being said to me. Not really on topic but my mind kept jumping to it while writing this.

Anyway, I'm gonna go try to find some good tea in this house and google until forget how to read. Good day.

jesus fucking christ

turns the shower knob slightly ack! too cold!

turns the shower knob slightly ack! too hot!

turns the shower knob slightly ack! too cold!

turns the shower knob sli-

I really should draw more, I like it quite a lot, I just never have any ideas for it, haha!! Like, I have a buncha characters, but I'd rather write about them than draw them (*cough* and bad at character design *cough*) And I wanna update my pfp, and learn how to draw bodies and backgrounds. But at the same time.. I could just write. But then I never get to post about my writings!! Well I mean, I probably could, but it feels weird, y'know? But all I end up posting is drawings, shit posts, or rambles (like this one). So I never actually post, because most of my rambles go in my drafts.

I dunno, maybe I'll draw more. Maybe I'll keep going like "oh I wanna draw" and then play Minecraft instead.