Vent Tag - Tumblr Posts
>I'm pissed off and ranting, ignore if you want.
>trigger warnings for all kinds of stuff
I find it hilarious how all the adults used to tell me "just wait til you have a job and work full time you'll WISH you were in school"
I don't mind working, I can wake up tomorrow and go to work and all is fine and I'm happy....if you told me I had to go back to high school for even a day I'd kill myself without hesitation. Here's why:
As an adult with a job out here in the real world, I actually have options if I'm being bullied or harassed. I can make an issue to a boss or a police officer about it, and it will be taken seriously. At minimum, the person causing the problem will actually be talked to. In school, that wasn't always the case. In fact, they barely did anything until a situation had gone to what us grown ups would call ASSAULT. Why was it always only a slap on the wrist when people were outright trying to hurt or even KILL me or get me to kill myself because i was weird? In a place I was REQUIRED to be. It's easy to leave a bad job, but anyone who's had to transfer schools or go into programs because of bullying knows what BULLSHIT it is to even TRY to secure your own safety.
As an adult with a job I'm expected to know and keep track of ONE set list of tasks, not FOUR different groups of things with topic changes in those groups every month that i have to learn really fast and repeat perfectly when questioned or else I fail and have to do it all over again.
As an adult with a job I am barely expected to get along with a reasonably sized and fairly consistent group of people, not like 30 a class (remember, 4 classes, that's 120 people) and that's just the ones you're stuck in a room with during classes. Not even counting the other classes you go to lunch or field trips with, which just leaves more room for clashing personalities to be stuck next to eachother.
AND DONT EVEN GET ME *STARTED* ON BEING USED AS A BEHAVIOUR BUFFER. IMAGINE SOMEONE WHO IS INCREDIBLY HOSTILE TORWARDS YOU ALREADY BEING SAT NEXT TO YOU AT WORK?? YOU WOULDN'T LET THAT FLY! SOMEONE WHOS FOUGHT YOU, PULLED YOUR HAIR, TOLD PEOPLE NASTY LIES ABOUT YOU, AND NOW YOURE SUDDENLY RESPONSIBLE FOR KEEPING THEM IN LINE OR YOU BOTH GET IN TROUBLE. THAT SHIT DOESN'T FLY NEAR AS FAR IN THE REAL WORLD.
Not ONCE as an adult have I been punished for reporting the abusive behaviors of my coworkers either. Why does the school system PUNISH VICTIMS FURTHER? if I defend myself in a fight on the street, I'm asked if I want to press charges or get a peace bond. If I defended myself in a fight I DID NOT WANT PART OF in school, I was SUSPENDED and given detentions. For defending myself.
As an adult in the real world, I get at least some say in what I'm doing all day. If I hate one shitty minimum wage job, I can go find another that isn't as bad. As a student I was expected to deal with it, never question why they were allowed to make me so miserable, and was punished for not being able to force myself to sit up straight and listen to some mid 40s divorcee rant about his ex wife in the middle of a math lesson "bEcAuSe hEs ThE tEaChEr".. at least if I have to listen to someone rant about stupid stuff on the job I'm getting paid for it. I have incentive to pretend I care.
AS AN ADULT IN THE REAL WORLD, MY JOB HAS NOT EVER BEEN ENTITLED TO A SECOND OF MY TIME OUTSIDE OF WORK HOURS. AS A STUDENT, I WAS EXPECTED TO SPEND MOST OF MY DAY AT SCHOOL, THEN GO HOME AND DO MORE SCHOOLWORK. IF YOUR BOSS TOLD YOU TO CLOCK OUT AND KEEP WORKING YOUD LAUGH IN THEIR FACE. YOU HAVE A LIFE, YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO, YOU WANT TIME TO SEE FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND UNWIND. SO DOES EVERY FUCKING STUDENT THAT WAS HANDED HOURS OF HOMEWORK TO DO ON THEIR WEEKEND. ON THEIR DAYS OFF.
Now take all of the things I just listed, all things highschoolers experience regularly, and imagine this:
You get home from your full time job (school), and have to go to a part time job that takes up your nights and weekends. And you have to do your extra school work that's for outside of school because it's homework, you have to. And you have to study for that test coming up. You also have a list of household to do.
So already, that's.. work, work, work, and work. You're also expected to do extracurricular activities or hobbies like sports, clubs or volunteering (work number 5) because "they'll help you (stay healthy/with your college applications/look good on your resume)"
Wow! That's work 5 times. And it's like.. the minimum people expect from their kid or else that kid is lazy/stupid/not going anywhere in life.
That's a lot of pressure, and that's usually the bare minimum. Some people also have to babysit their younger siblings (for free because fAmiLy). That's work number 6. This looks insane to you when it's all laid out like this.
This doesn't even brush on how it looks to people with "minor" disabilities like adhd or anxiety
Lay off your teenager, they're working their ass off, and being harassed, insulted, ignored, and having their free time, personal space, boundaries, and interests disregarded constantly.
Being an adult is stressful, but so is being a kid. Don't invalidate their struggles because you no longer relate to them.
If your life was constantly micromanaged by people expecting you to do hours of unpaid labour "because you have to" and "I said so" You'd be pissed too.
If I woke up tomorrow, and I was expected to go to work, and then do housework as needed, I'd be fine.
If I woke up tomorrow with very little control of my life and free time while also expected to work 3-6 jobs for basically nothing in return, I would literally kill myself.
I had OVER 20 SUICIDE ATTEMPTS in high school
I have had ONE since graduating.
I hope people gain some perspective from this.
Made some mad crazy vent art dude
Ha, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. :)
Just stressing out about school, it’s normal.
My teacher isn’t in my class rn, so I’m just watching South Park funny moments.
Hey Strawbs, just checking in, I hope you’re having a wonderful day!
My day has been pretty sh*tty, lowkey, so I hope you’re feeling okay!
oh no, i hope ur alright jay !! :( pls take care of urself man ily <3 /p
Tw. Vent
That was a lot of damage.
Wow
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
Fuck You
I don’t want a boyfriend
I’m not a girl
I’m not your daughter
Just get it right for once
TW VENT
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck
Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool
And I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God
It’s brutal out here
Random people online: OMG IM SO DEPRESSED 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 I RELATE TO BILLIE EILISH SONGS
Me relating to these songs:
And these characters:
Hahaha can you tell I don’t like myself? 😀
This is going to be a rambley about my romantic identity because I have no idea what I feel.
My labels aren't fitting correctly again, but in an "I am learning more and doubting what I previously thought" kinda way. Like, it's not bad, but it certainly feels weird.
I know that I am aromantic. I don't know what specific kind of aromantic I am, and I do not know why I am obsessed with finding the little box I fit in. Like, I can't really be happy until I find the thing that matches exactly what I feel 100% of the way. But the thing is, what I feel frequently changes. I am so wiggly and I need to calm down or I will lose my mind.
And I never think about my sexual identity because that's something that I don't really care about.. I feel like that sounds off but it's true. I don't care if I'm asexual or allosexual because I never really paid attention to that. I tend to ignore it completely so I don't know why I hold onto a sexual label. And I learned that apparently I can just not!! Like I don't have to put a label on that!! I don't know entirely what that entails or all the little details, but I can stay up all night googling if I need to!!
And another thing that I gripe about with my own personal romantic attraction! What the fuck is up with the wishy-washy love romance hate romance!? Get it together Mackerel! I don't understand why I get these fluttering feelings at the thought of romance and then feeling like I'm sick when I picture myself in those spots. Like what the fuck is up with that? Internal romance Mack, explain.
Another thing that fits with the last blurb, I love silly romantic tropes (sometimes), but the thought, sight, and sound of kissing makes me get the icks. Like, I love the idiots in love trope, it is my favorite ever. Maybe because they feel more like friends but with the flutters, I don't know. But picturing characters in that trope on dates is fine, holding hands is fine, kissing crosses the line, pet names makes me take a lap, and I could not give any less of a shit about them fucking.
Did I talk about my one week long, long distance relationship? I don't think I did, but I pulled the plug on that immediately because I got queasy and uncomfortable at the romantic things being said to me. Not really on topic but my mind kept jumping to it while writing this.
Anyway, I'm gonna go try to find some good tea in this house and google until forget how to read. Good day.
I feel like my brain can’t handle things, I can feel myself getting dumber and dumber by day
Running
I want to run.
I want to run as far as my body will take me,
Heaving lungs,
Thick spit,
Sore legs.
I want to run miles,
Off of pain,
Off of anger,
Off of sadness.
I want to run for hours,
Adrenaline keeping me going,
Until I am nothing left but sweat and tears.
I want to put my anger towards each step,
Carrying me until I collapse.
Or I want to run so I don't think,
About the anxiety,
The sadness,
The fear,
Of life.
I want my legs to feel shattered,
My lungs to feel broken,
My mind to be tired.
I want to feel the pain of it all,
For the pain of running is better than the pain of thinking.
I want to cry,
I want to scream,
I want to hurt,
I want to run.
Are you ever awake at an ungodly hour at night because you have just got into your very first relationship and your scared that its all some sick joke this guy is playing on you and he doesn't actually like you and he's going to leave you crying at 3 in the morning because of it or that you'll find more about the guy and you might not like him anymore because he turns out to be a jerk but your too afraid to breakup with him because he's in your friend group and all your friends actually like him and you don't want to be the one who ruined it all just because you made a dumb decision and then everything is awkward and all your friends leave you because your a selfish bastard that couldn't think things through and you become a laughing stock of the school and then you die alone. Also your afraid to talk to this guy about relationship things because your too afraid to mess it up even though your uncomfortable about it like saying love you through texts or talking about "whens our first kiss is going to be" and your not even sure you want to kiss someone because the idea of kissing him or anyone doesn't appeal to you and your terrified on telling him incase he thinks you don't like him and you just get in an argument with him about it and your afraid to tell him your preferred pronouns because your afraid he won't like you anymore because he's a straight probably cis man. And to add to the weight on your shoulders you can never fully talk to your best friend like you used to before he started hanging out with you because he's always breathing done your neck and won't leave you the fuck alone and your too afraid to tell him so now your worried your best friend thinks your neglecting her for your boyfriend even though you want to go back to the times were you and her would talk about everything and nothing and it was just you too and no pressure.
Trigger Warning !! Bl*od, Femme Problems, Mensturation Issues, Medicals Issues, Self Diagnosis Opinions Inder The Cut !!
Anyways, vent art on my reproductive health. 🤷🏻🤠🥂
Tumblr seems better than Twitter but to be honest i'm pretty lazy about rebuilding a community here 💔💔
Overthinking is fun, I'm good now lol 😆
You ever get that feeling where you REALLY need to talk to someone about your problems because you feel like your going to explode if you don’t but can’t because your parents won’t take your issues seriously and you have no friends so the only thing you can do is email your therapist about it and ask for advice from her but the thing is is that she doesn’t check her emails on the weekends so you basically have to suffer with bottling up all your unpleasant and conflicting feelings for two days until she replies? Cause that’s what I’m feeling right now.
I’m sad and I want to cuddle an animal. Any animal. Like I’m a ticking fairytale character. But I can’t. Life sucks.
I think there is something so terrifying with being someone who's birthname isn't their own. Every name I try leads me back to that odd spot, "it's not my name". There's something so deep within me that wants something impossible for the human tongue to reach, but is still me. But I'll never have that, no name fits. But maybe it's just the fact every name I've tried has been used to hurt me, maybe that's why I want to be untouchable.
I swear edgenuity is a site made by satan himself to get his rocks off. I can't keep repeating the same project because your instructions are physically impossible to complete within a reasonable time frame. I'd honestly rather spend a day with my homophobic mom then do the same psychology project 8 times while i'm 17 hours behind