I Allow Feelings To Move Through Me.

I allow feelings to move through me.

"Like a water of emotion in the most beautiful sense, the reason why you are here, truly, is to experience these great beautiful emotions and feelings which has made a river through your being. No longer dammed or blocked by the illusion that your mind has created to keep you safe.

Feel your chakras breathe air as this water hits them. They have been deprived of the emotional energy of water. The element of water now nurtures and allows for the chakras to drink up all that they were lacking. They are vibrantly spinning now. All of them are online as you have done all the other work besides this one element. This water element is what you lacked in your life.

Fire, water, air, earth all transpiring at once in a beautiful hallelujah moment."

~

When the waters were released within me, the water looked very similar to this image. I will never forget this experience. I am still in awe.

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11082021

Feelings are beautiful.

I love being connected to myself and being able to feel with all my heart. This is relatively new for me, this process and living everyday with an open heart and open soul.

It's quite extraordinary!

It has been an amazing day! I'm always blown away by Spirit and The Universe and the level of healing and releasing they guide me through but today's was next level!

Today has truly been life changing. I've experienced so much clearing, releasing and healing today, I feel over the moon. I feel so blessed.

One major release was to do with the TF. Happy to share it and I'll try to keep it short;

Our TF relationship started like every other you can read about with all the key words like intense, passionate, meant to be, felt like we knew each other from another lifetime, got along, ying and yang etc. You get the jist. Eventually the relationship dynamic changed. He did things. And he kept doing things. It was his pattern, I saw it, I knew it. He didn't and always denied it. He was totally oblivious to it, didn't think he had triggers or patterns or any self sabotaging behaviours. So I knew very well why our relationship started to slide and diminsh. It was inevitable.

Our TF relationship always had aspects of deceit and deception in it.

I've healed and I've released much from this relationship. I've actually let go of my TF as impossible as that feat may seem. In mediations today I was guided to release further residue energies from this (there will always be more) relationship. This time it was important for me to connect to the exact moment which was the catalyst for the relationships change of dynamic.

When the 'unbalancing' first appeared in our relationship, we were in a cafe, it was during lunch break. We worked together and earlier that morning, I had discovered that he was deceiving me, lying to me and cheating on me. I read explicit messages between him and another woman. I saw explicit and sexual photos. I watched explicit and sexual videos that they exchanged. I was heartbroken. Actually heartbroken doesn't even exemplify what I felt or what I was experiencing then.

Back to that exact moment the energy shifted. We were sitting in the cafe together. He said sorry, and by this time he had probably said sorry a few times. But this one time he said it, I remember feeling an enormous shift in energy at that exact moment but I didn't know why. Now I do. It was the exact moment that our TF relationship would find its unbalance. We had little hope for success after that because neither of us had enough awareness to properly heal ourselves, heal the relationship etc to find our centre again in ourselves and our TF relationship.

The energy changed because when he said 'sorry', I accepted it. I accepted it knowing that his 'sorry' was not an 'accountable sorry'. I accepted it knowing that it was a 'manipulators sorry', a 'problematic sorry'. Yes, I was aware of all this but yet I accepted it. He did not know this type of 'sorry' would be the trigger for him to keep this behavioural pattern perpetuating. He was not aware what type of 'sorry' he gave me as he was unaware of his triggers, patterns and self sabotaging behaviours. He absolutely believed that his 'sorry' was filled with genuineness and he believed that he said it with the best intentions too.

In that moment I wanted to believe in him too. I wanted him to know that I believed in him too (and secretly had hoped we could work on healing his traumas too). I wanted him to know I wasn't going to give up on him (and again secretly I hoped this moment would be a catalyst for him to see his cycles and sabotaging ways).

So in that moment I accepted his 'sorry'.

That day I didn't feel like being near him. But I also knew I could not be without him. Such is the TF relationship!

That was a little longer than what I thought I would give.

I just want to end this by giving thanks to the Universe for all of my experiences, for this moment, for their guidance today in my releases and healing. I am very grateful and so blessed. I AM.

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Set the intention.

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You are reborn!

You are reborn!

Enjoy this new place you are in. It doesn't need a name but if it were to have a brief one, it can be called Balance.

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#11082021

I feel very different. Very very different from the person I was this time last year, but also from the person I was just 2months ago.

Im not sure how to articulate this but it would seem that I'm starting to see the different layers of our society, this construct. Maybe what I'm starting to see is the now moment, made up of the past, present and future as one moment, the now moment for time doesn't exist as we would know it, in the linear sense.

I dont know if this story relates but somehow I think it does..

Last week I experienced a profound moment. I've had these types of moments occur in my life before, just a handful of amazing times. Last week I had another. I was lying in bed, thinking about time, the magical shape of time and I found myself in perfect alignment within time which was made up of my present, past and future all at once. It was a major wow experience for me. I'll never forget it because 'time' as I experienced it, was circular in shape.