I Wish I Had A Best Friend.

I wish I had a best friend.

I wish I had a best friend but I can't tell anyone that because I have so many amazing friends.

But all of my amazing friends have best friends and significant others and they all have that one person who they put above everyone else and who puts them above everyone else too.

And it's not me.

And I wish I had a best friend.

No one talks about how lonely it is to be the third wheel in a friendship. Or the 11th wheel in a friend group

The people I consider myself closest to are best friends. They celebrated one of their birthdays without me.

I wished her a happy birthday and told her I missed her. She's in college, i haven't seen her since she graduated. She said she missed me too. But she didn't invite me to her party.

I wonder sometimes if my friends even like me. But then I remember that's silly. I know they love me. I guess they just don't love me as much as they love each other.

And God i know it has nothing to do with me. You can't control who you connect with. But for once I just wish it would be me!

Am I too much? Am I a pick me for wanting to be picked?

What's so wrong with wanting to be wanted?

It's fall. Time to reread Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n by ao3

Haha I wanna throw up

He got an F- on a history test

Referencing this

listen its not that i dont like fiddlestan, its just that if i go any deeper into it than casually seeing fanart, i fear my brain would destroy itself

Does anyone else get anxiety because they love something too much? Or it's too real?

I can't look at IWWV stuff because I feel it too much. It makes me shake and ache and I can't breathe. It's so dramatic but it's true. The book is too real.

Or I'm looking for a fanfiction and I find exactly what I'm looking for but I immediately have to skip over it because then it'll be gone. But I never go back cause it stresses me out. My 'marked for later' tab is insane.

I get to the last episode of a show I love and I can't watch it cause it gives me anxiety. It can't end.

I find things that are so perfect, that represent me so well, things that I feel in my soul, and I can't partake. It's all too much.

I just need someone who loves classics as much as I do. Who is as enthralled with the idea of reading out loud to someone you love as much as I am. Like??? Getting to read to someone I love? Getting to read out loud? Listening to someone I love read? And we're both genuinely interested and having a good time! Whyyy is it not normalized?

And hand written love letters! And just old school, romantic love. Like really old school. Bring me flowers with secret meanings. Kiss my hand before my mouth. Chase after me without harassing me! Care about the little things! And let us read to each other!