Hydralostinherwords - Hydra Lowe

“Does such a thing as "the fatal flaw," that showy dark crack running down the middle of a life, exist outside literature?”

― Donna Tartt, The Secret History

PD: Hi, I'm doing a survey on Aesthetics for my university research, anyone who knows what aesthetics are can answer and I'd be very happy!

Link to the survey

mansplaining is the bane of my existence btw

I hate the clean girl aesthetic

Yes there it is. I hate it so much so much I cannot stand seeing teenage girls be fooled by "adults" who all have their perfect side of life showing.

I want my hair to be messy, I don't want perfect curls. I want messy curls with flowers in. I don't want to wear natural makeup. I want bold eyeliner, flowers on my eyelids, glitter all over. I don't want natural highlights in my hair. I want to light blue with dark blue roots. I don't want to dress maturely. I want to wear that strawberry top withy my burgundy tights and a white skirt. I want bows in my hair, not a slicked look.

I don't want "clean girl" aesthetic I want "messy witch" aesthetic

"If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression. Of something beautiful, but annihilating. Both of you are great light borrowers."

-Slyvia Plath

Unfair

There is a sharp edge between healing patients when it comes to mental health and physical health. If you're recovering from a physical illness people will go easy on you, try to comfort you, even when it comes to strangers they will see you, understand your pain and they will try to be there for you. Only because they can see your scars. If you are recovering from a mental illness almost no one will understand you or be there for you. They will question you, doubt and blame you because it's your fault for thinking that way, why didn't you try to talk to someone? Why didn't you give yourself time? Why don't you just stop thinking that way? They will only ask questions and even call you names because it's not true Sometimes even the people closest to you will judge you and ask god what did they do wrong to have a "abnormal child" Because your scars are not on the surface

It is coming from someone who lived both of those hells. I stayed in a hospital for three months. When my peers were going to school, I was in bed talking to nurses or walking down the lifeless hallways. When I started school again I never once felt left out.

But when it was my mental health no one bat an eye, including my most loved ones, no one cared.

Is it fair? No, but no one cares.