Iamdefinitelyaperson - I Am Definitely A Person - Tumblr Blog

Yeen mom is the best mom

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

Zeus tying Hephaestus' anvil to Hera:

Have you ever heard of the god "Antewy" in Egyptian mythology? Cause I think he definitely deserves the spotlight 😂 basically, it's two gods in one get-along shirt, and guess who these two gods are? 🥬

"I'm going to play Dark Urge, I'm going to play a Drow, I'm going to play a Half Elf Cleric of Selune-" No. I grow tired of filling Faerun with hotties and encouraging my party's fatherless behavior.

To remedy this I have made Your Dad, the ultimate 1:1 replica of the average New Jersey father to save the realm and put a stop to my party's sad, horny business.

And before you can even ask "oh what is the Guardian Your Mom or something" of fucking course she is you fool

this golden calf statue is so fucking cool. maybe even cooler than god

Dick riding IS NOT a form of transportation!!!!!!!! 

in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

The thing about Tim Drake is that he has a very strict moral code. This man is so set on only seeing black and white that he's legally colourblind.

And this become a problem for our angtsy fic writers who need a murdery, stabby Tim. So they make him morally grey.

But I have a solution. Make him ✨️chaotic lawful✨️ which pretty much means that he has a very strict moral code, but nobody knows what the fuck it is.

Murder, yeah that's okay.

Blowing buildings up sky high, let's do it.

Stealing, no, who you you think I am?

northern ukraine: my granpa still remembers how in 937 knyaz stopped here on his way to kyiv and how we received magdeburg rights

southern ukraine: *a cossack and a noğay run into each other like in anime*

still astonished that there are people who really refer to Twitter as "x" now. Even in casual conversation. You don't need to do that.

One of my favourite things to do when looking at paintings with Cronus eating his children is trying to quess who is he eating this time.

Here are my assumptions:

Hestia: the fact that he felt the need to dismember her first suggests the probability that it's the first time when he's eating an infant. Also, Rhea's "WTF?!" face.

Demeter: Demeter is usually described as having blonde hair.

Hera: She is considered his favourite child, so it's really nice of him to show her the world first (even upside down) before eating her.

Hades: This one is as pale as a ghost's butt, and I always imagined Hades being pale af. Also, this time the child has a pp.

Poseidon: I like the idea that Cronus became crazier and crazier with each child eaten to the point of completely losing his mind, so I'm fond of the possibility that his most famous painting depicts him taking a bite from his last devoured baby.

Corrupt doggo bribed by bear

i don’t know how selling houses works

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

AU where Bruce and Talia get married and Ra'd just... hangs around

He finds Wayne Manor’s version of the mother-in-law suite and refuses to leave

He had LoA meetings there for a while, but Bruce kept spying on them ("It’s my house!") so confidential information isn't discussed there, but everything else is fair game

Alfred's cookies means the League book club is suddenly very popular

None of the kids can bring friends home without having to explain "Yeah that's my (step)grandpa wearing the dramatic robes cursing my dad for stopping him from killing the mayor. Yeah the ninjas are his too. Same with the endangered animals wandering around the house. No it's actually pretty calm today"

Alfred starts cooking larger amounts of food because there’s always a ninja or two (or ten) hanging around, and he’s determined to be a good host ("Why is there a cake tonight?" "It’s Bob's birthday, Master Bruce " "Ninja Bob? Damn I forgot to get him a gift.")

Ra's always spoils his grandkids rotten, of course, but in the weirdest ways possible. Mainly pets. Bruce does not appreciate this.

When Cass shows up, she and Ra's have a staring contest for an hour straight. No one's quite sure what happened, and no one really wants to know

And his shenanigans aren't confined to private either! If there's a gala, he's there, and he does not care about social etiquette. That man makes headlines way more often than not ("'Wayne FIL Has Bodyguards Attack Socialite For Wearing Fur'." "That fur comes from an endangered fox; how else was I supposed to react?")

Ra's likes to match gala outfits with Talia, Talia likes to match with Bruce and Damian (and whatever kids consider her their mom), and the other kids like to join in on the joke, meaning the entire family is matching except for Dick, who refuses out of spite (a picture of them all together quickly becomes a meme format)

The Halloween gala is filled with people in ninja "costumes"

The Court of Owls tries to assassinate Ra's once, not because of the League of Assassins thing, just because he got on the nerves of one too many members. Taking them down is one of the few times Ra's and Dick get along, and it freaks everyone out so much they're determined to never let it happen again

The family is divided on whether they find him and his shenanigans amusing or not. Talia, Jason and Duke do. Bruce and Dick don't. No one's quite sure about Cass, and Damian won't say either way. Tim starts a mini war with Ra's, with the casualties ending up as 2 chandeliers, 5 computers, 4 antique vases, at least 7 League plots, the microwave and Tim’s spleen

He does manage to find the Lazarus Pit infecting Gotham’s water supply and isolate it. So. That's nice.

My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently, not the couples costume he was thinking of

Altair: *pulls out hidden blade*

Abbas: oh, he finally lose his shit

Altair: *opens a box with a blade*

Abbas: thank god-

Achilles: *pulls gun out of the box*

Abbas: what sorcery is this?

Athena: Behold my creation. His name is duolingo. He is a vengeful owl of language

The other gods: wtf Athena