it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
Another Day Of Waiting For Nothing...
another day of waiting for nothing...
i think all i did today was to wait. and it seems like this will never end. i can even imagine how i’m gonna be like for the next few days… *sigh* it sucks to be me. i guess i really deserve only a day of fun while the rest is full sorrow, pain, and hatred. i am so unfortunate. i really am so stupid. i wish i can control myself & stop being like this. nakaksawa na din minsan eh. lagi na lang ganito eh wala naman nangyayari. kakaawaan ko lang lalo ang sarili ko. i hate it. when am i going to be happy? when am i going to stop being like this? when am i going wake up from this nightmare?? i’m so sick of this already.
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toocooltobehipster liked this · 14 years ago
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
why? why am i like this AGAIN?!
idk why im like this. yesterday, i was super high. i didn't even know where i got the courage to greet him. i know im over it already but why did i bother to check up on it this morning. why? i just can't understand myself. why do i still do these things? when am i going to learn from my mistakes. this is really frustrating! i hate it. and i hate myself for doing it over and over again....
and tonight, same thing happened. it's just that no one is involved. i was easily affected. why am i such a loser? why do i cry over this things? why am i so shallow? ugh i hate it! i really hate it!
at 12:45am
damn what happened to me? why do i suddenly feel sad. napaiyak pa tuloy ako. what did i do to deserve this feeling? i thought everything was fine. nahawaan ba ako ni kuya ng 'depression' niya? fuck i hate this feeling.
kanina everything was fine. except dun sa blood. but everything was fine. it scared the shit out of me pero i am still hoping nothing is wrong. but now, i feel like crying myself to sleep again.
i hate this! i hate being moody and sensitive. i wish i don't care at all. how i wish there will be no reason for me to shed bucket of tears again. nakakapagod na. i feel stupid. i feel like i am gonna go crazy. una, im all good tapos later on i'll be crying for no reason. can i just have a peaceful life without worrying what will happen next. pagod na ako eh. pagod na pagod. ayaw ko na umiyak. i feel like i am becoming more weak whenever i cry. and i don't want that feeling. as much as possible, pipiliin ko pa na maging busy ako instead of thinking about what i am going to do with my life. nakakapressure. nakakainis!
what really happened to me? what is happening to me? what will happen to me?
fudge i did it again!?! di pa din nkakamove-on until now... =/
i hate that i want this!
feeling like this makes me wanna ask myself why i am being like this.... so weird! i can't even explain what im feeling. sometimes im laughing as if nothing is wrong. sometimes i cry with no reason at all. hahaha am i going crazy?
i can't even understand my own self. is that why i still don't have any connection with other people? am i too weird? am i too obvious? am i that hard to befriend with? all i want is to have some connections. coz i know after this i'll get into a better understanding with the people around me.
it's hard going through all of these by yourself, you know... i wish i have a friend i can talk to and share what i'm feeling right now. without feeling uncomfortable. without hesitating. without the feeling of being laughed at for being too childish and immature.
i hate that i don't have that kind of friend. i hate that i don't have the confidence to talk about what my true feelings are even to family members and close friends. i hate that i am like this.
but i can't blame myself. i don't want to be laughed at. i don't want to be misunderstood. i don't want to be called weak. i don't want to feel like they pity me for being like this.
i want sympathy. i want love. i want care. i want understanding. i want honesty. i want peace. i want to know that they will accept me for who i am and respect me. i want them to know why i am like this. i want to tell them that i need their help, their guidance, their love.
Ikaw ga?
Waaaah ano ba talaga ito?! Ano ba?! Nagulat ako na nagreply ka the first time. And i wasn't expecting another one from you... Pero ano ito?! Nagtanong ka pa?! Sira ka ba?! O friendly ka lang talaga??
But on the bright side, you made me feel good today. Tho now im kinda confused too. Is it coz hindi ako masyado naaapektuhan... Is this a good thing or not??