Today I Had A Math Test. I Was Relieved Because That Was My Last Test Of All. I'll Tell How It Ended

Today I had a math test. I was relieved because that was my last test of all. I'll tell how it ended up with me having maybe the worst meltdown of my whole life.

TW: meltdown, sensory overload

I already have had a discussion with my mom in the car, what made me angry. Then, at school, some other stuff pissed me off, but I though it was nothing. The test was in the two first periods, and I make my tests in a separate room with some other kids that have problems having a test inside the classroom.

I panicked some times during the test because the adults that were responsible for the test screwed up some important stuff, and, in the end, I got REALLY pissed off cause the boy next to me started to hit his rubber on the table. It was so loud and, at the same time, so low.

At 9:00, I had finished my test, so I could go back to my classroom. Picked up my schoolbag and went down the stairs to my year's floor. I stopped when I was in front of my classroom's door. I was not physically able to enter in. I could go to any other place, but to my classroom. I felt like I couldn't enter in, or else I would lose shit.

So, I sat in front of the door, and, a few minutes later, I went to the bathroom and tried to calm down. I thought I could go back to my classroom now. Spoiler: I wasn't. The hall has a lot of echo, and I could hear everything.

"NO, NO, NO! I'M STILL NOT PREPARED!" This is what I screamed to myself, alone, when I first heard the echoes. I sat on the ground, holding my schoolbag. So, I gathered strenght and walked to this really large hall/courtyard where there are some benchs.

I wanted to go home. I sat in a bench and started repeating the word: "home, home, home..." It was not voluntary. I just wanted to go away from there. So, I opened up my schoolbag and called my parents. My mom and my dad were instantly really worried about me, so, they started to talking to me so I could calm down. Mom told me to go to the bathroom, so I could be in a safer place.

There was nobody in the bathroom, and I entered a box. My mom stayed talking to me, which helped me calm down a bit. But this was the moment the test was over. Everyone left their classrooms and a lot of girls always reunite in the bathroom. I was still in the box, with my schoolbag there and my mom on the phone, trying to calm down.

When people started entering in and talking, I lost it. It was painful, it was so loud, it was terrible. It broke me in half. My body was shaking and slipping to the ground, and I felt something in my throat: the screaming urge of crying. My voice cracked when I answered my parents question. They were hearing the noise through the phone, too. My mom heard my voice cracking and realized I was about to cry, so, she told me to leave the bathroom. And that's what I did.

I got my schoolbag, opened the box's door and ran. I bumped and pushed at least four girls in my way out, but I was desperate. I was hurt, scared and broken. I wanted to run away from everything and everyone. The courtyard was full of people, so I immediatly ran to the hall with the benchs in which I was before.

Nobody was there, and, whyle running through the hall, I started crying and crying. My tears couldn't even flow through my face, because I was with a terrible pain expression, so all I could do was make some noises of crying and despair with my closen mouth.

I ran until I arrived in front of the library. At this point, my face was covered in tears. My parents were still on the call during the moment I was running, and I told them, while sobbing and crying, that I wanted to go home. They called the school so they could get me.

When I was going down to the entrance to meet them, I had to pass through the courtyard, and there was someone in there with a fucking guitar who started playing. I felt it all going back again, and I ran until I arrived to the entrance, almost falling down the stairs, because I simply couldn't handle something else anymore. In the entrance, I could still hear the sound, but it was lower. A few minutes later, my parents arrived and picked me up.

I love it when people try to claim representation in fiction is being taken “too far” to the point where it’s no believable. They’re like: 

“What’s next, a mixed-race immigrant on the autism spectrum?” Hi, my name is Rachel, also known as Rachna, and I’m a mixed-race immigrant on the autism spectrum. 

“What’s next, a transgender Latino man with chronic pain?” What, you mean my former colleague, Marco? 

“What’s next, a Black Jewish lesbian?” Bitch, I know I three Black Jewish lesbians, WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING POINT?

You know that meme "autistic and adhd friendship"? So, I just realized that exactly represents me and my friend. I'm autistic, he has adhd, we are opposites in most stuff, but somehow the thing works.

For the autistic fans of Shuumatsu No Valkyrie/Record Of Ragnarok: Brunhilde is autistic and that's why all the human fighters she has choosen are autistic too.

Buddha's also autistic (and the valkyries. And Thor. And Hercules. And Zerofuku. And Hades. And Beelzebub)

I still do hate it

[ID: a png of the autism symbol. It is an infinite symbol with the colors purple, blue, cyan, green, yellow, orange and red, from left to right. End of description.]

Jeans

autistic culture is growing up hating jeans and only learning to like them at age 12

Trauma, yay

[ID: a series of six panels teeling a comic. First panel: a black and white sketch in which Chat Noir stands distantly in front of a ladder with a pot of white paint on the top of it and Ladybug stands next to viewer with only her back being visible. Chat Noir is a white teen with clear short hair and he is wearing a simple black cat suit with a small rattle on his neck and a black mask covering his eyes. Ladybug is a chinese teen with black hair in two pigtails and she is wearing a simple suit with ladybug pattern. Chat Noir says: "Do you think if I walked under a ladder, I'd get good luck? Like 2 negatives making a positive?" Ladybug says: "Doubt it."

Second panel: a closer drawing of Chat Noir as he walks under the ladder, followed by a drawing of his foot chocking itself with the ladder. Chat Noir says: "Well, imagine instead of Lucky Charm, all I need to do is step under a ladder and- OH SHI-"

Third panel: an onomatopoeia of "CRASH" is seen. Ladybug closes her eyes in an a little bit worried expression and she is then seen smiling in a mocking way. Ladybug says: "That didn't sound like good luck to me, Chat-"

Fourth panel: Chat Noir, the ladder and the pot of white painting have fallen on the ground. He is covered with white paint. Ladybug is seen next to the viewer with only her back visible, and a balloon of "..." stands by her side. Char Noir says: "In hindsight, I should have expected this. Gosh. Is there paint in my mouth?" The word mouth is underlined.

Fifth panel: two closer drawings of Chat Noir's face. In the first one, he seems unconfortable with the paint. In the second one, he seems confused. Chat Noir says: "Okay, my Lady, you can gloat now. You earned it. ..Ladybug?"

Sixth panel: Ladybug seems chocked, worried and paralyzed. An image of Chat Blanc stands right behind her touching her arm. He is exactly like Chat Noir except for the fact his suit is white. He has a sad expression. Chat Blanc says: "You failed me again, Marinette. Why did you let this happen to me?" End of description.]

If it’s not to much trouble can you do a what if chat was doused in white paint?

this was going to be hurt/comfort but i stopped before the comfort part. sorry

comfort