Jason, Pointing At Tim : Bruce, Look Me In The Eyes And Tell Me That Kid Is Okay.

Jason, pointing at Tim : Bruce, look me in the eyes and tell me that kid is okay.

*Tim, mixing in Monster and Red Bull with his coffee that has way more espresso shots than legally allowed*

Bruce : …He looks fin—

Jason : NO, HE FUCKING ISN’T. ARE YOU BLIND??

Everyone : Tim is the blasé child.

Tim : What they don’t know can’t hurt them.

*Cue Tim saying Batman doesn’t have friends, blowing up Ra’s bases, hiring a rando person to act as his uncle, clone his bestie, etc, etc”

Everyone : *Oblivious*

Damian : *murmurs* Fuck

Dick : WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Damian : I SAID FUCK

Bruce : Murder is not okay. Unless it’s the Joker.

Dick : Murder is not okay. Unless it’s the Joker.

Jason, pulling out his gun : Murder is okay.

Tim, blowing up Ra’s al Ghul bases : Murder is okay.

Damian, taking his katana out : Murder is okay.

Alfred, loading his shotgun : I wish more people broke into the Manor.

Tim : *Saves a kitten stuck in a tree*

Damian, who was forced to follow him buy groceries because Alfred is sick : I don’t know wether to kick you and take the kitten or praise you for saving it.

Bruce : You fought an entire group of elite assassins who have succeeded in killing everyone they ever planned on assassinating.

Tim : Yep

Bruce : And you walked away relatively unharmed.

Tim : Yeah, they all died in the explosion.

Bruce : What explosion?

Tim : …

Bruce : Tim, what explosion—

Tim, backing away slowly : …

Bruce, well aware of how unhinged his kids can be but still had hopes for this one : whAT EXPLOSION!?