Sick Of The Silence

Sick of the Silence

Theodore Nott x reader

Summary: Theodore ends you friendship over a rumor spred by Rita Skita

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of starving, insecurities, Rita Skita

Words: 6.1k

꧁꧂

You sneakily made your way towards the tent that the competitors were sharing. The air was very damp today, and the weather was starting to get colder. But you couldn't understand how you were still freezing even though you had your old winter boots on, along with Theo's scarf tightly wrapped around your neck

When you stood infront the tent, you carefully lifted the tent entrance to the side and feeling lucky when you saw that Harry was the only one left.

Quickly, you took a leap, and Harry felt his soul leave is chest when he felt someone close his arms around him.

"Merlin! Y/n have you lost your mind." You didn't listen to him.

"First place Harry! And with a Horntail!" You gushed making Harry look down on the ground bashfully.

"Thanks, but you should've seen Cedric." He replied quietly, slowly continuing to peel off his destroyed items.

You sighed as you watched him, taking great sadness in the fact that he didn't even take an ounce of credit.

"Harry, you beat that dragon. With your own strength and mind. Be proud of yourself. Becuase I am certainly." You quietly said, before taking ahold of him again and bringing him into one more hug.

And you smiled to yourself when you felt him slowly start to hug you back.

What broke you out of the hug was a very bright flash, and the sound of a sharp giggle running through the tent. You and Harry quickly separated from your hug, and you felt an unfamiliar uneasiness set into your stomach as you watched Rita Skita and her magic quill.

She sighed dramatically.

"What a scandal." That was all that she said before she left the tent. This could never end well.

꧁꧂

Theodore had never felt the feeling that was currently streaming in his veins. His fingers were grasped tightly around the peace of news, feeling an urge to tear the picture of you and Harry hugging in to shreddes.

Theodore felt betrayed. Wether it was by you or his feelings, he didn't know. But he were aware that you were not the one to blame, it wasn't your fault that you fell for Harry. But oh how he wished that he could blame you and not himself. To not blame himself for being such a coward.

He cleared his throat and forcefully folded the paper before throwing it on the table, getting a last glimpse of the title before he dragged his feet to his first class. Not having the strength in his heart to wait for you, to afraid that tears would be spilled.

Mrs Y/l/n taking her chance with the Harry Potter after he was betrayed by miss Granger for going to his rival.

You watched as Theo hurriedly walked out from the Great Hall, not even looking your way as he exited. You furrowed your eyebrows as you could catch a glimpse of his clenched jaw and white knuckles. If you didn't know any better, he looked hurt. And it deeply concerned you since that wasn't a feeling you wanted the young boy to feel.

꧁꧂

Luna and Cho looked at you with worry in their eyes. You'd been acting strange ever since breakfast. You were not concentrating on your lessons, your hands drawing strange doodles or figures on your paper instead of writing down your notes.

They had also seen the way Theodore stormed out the dining hall this morning, but they didn't think that his pissy mood would affect yours as much as it did.

You had tried all day to get a hold of Theodore, but you almost thought that he'd disappeared from the castle grounds by how quickly he was nowhere to be seen. But the suspicions were luckily blown away when you saw him walking down the moving stairs with his friends from the Slytherin house.

"Theo!" You called, trying to catch his attention, and feeling successful when he heard you. The beat of your heart increased when searched for you, but the look that he gave you was something unusual.

The absolute anguish that his face was painted in shocked you to the core. You'd never seen him look that way at you.

But it disappeared in only a second, and instead, he looked at you with stoic eyes.

You shifted uncomfortably as he stared at you, and you felt yourself having troubles meeting them.

"Ehm, I was wondering if you'd like to study later?" The slight unsure voice that you had made you internally cringe, and you hoped that he didn't notice it.

Theodore could both hear and see your strange behavior, and it was bothering him. You didn't look like you even wanted him in your presence.

Like you were tired of him when you finally got together with Harry Potter. But he wasn't a chore for you to keep company, so he decided to make that clear. Even if something in the back was screaming at him.

"No, I'm busy." You cringed slightly at the cold tone that he used. That wasn't what you were used to. He'd never used that voice with you.

"Oh alright. I'll see you tomorrow then." But he'd already started to walk away again, trying to catch up with the rest of the Slytherins. You frowned as a dark feeling settled in your heart. It wasn't the fact that he declined. It was the fact that he sneered it at you. You'd gotten so used to his soft and melodic voice that you'd forgotten how sharp it could be.

But you did your best to not let the little spot of blackness poison your thoughts. So instead you just kept moving for the Ravenclaw tower.

꧁꧂

It went by two entire days before you had the chance to speak to him again, and you offered to study once more. And to your relief, he said yes.

So you took your books in your hands that night and slipped through the shadows, down to the Slytherin's common room. You pretended to not see anyone as Blaize Zabini let you into the common room. You knew that they weren't fond of you, best friend and almost cousin to Harry Potter, friends with their pureblood Theodore Nott.

You silently thanked Blaize and he gave you a kind smile in return. Blaize was one of the few of Theo's housemates that didn't despise you. And you were grateful for that because never in your life would you want to get on his bad side.

When you opened the door to Theo's shared room, you were immediately hit by the smell of Peach tea, old books, and cologne. The smell of Theo made your ears warm and your nose take an extra deep breath, liking the comfort that it brought.

You quietly stepped inside and walked to the bed that Theo was sitting in. His back was resting on his headboard and a charms book was resting on his lap.

He didn't blink an eye when you stepped inside, but he probably didn't even hear you in the first place.

"Hello there." You smiled at him as you laid your books down on his bed. He looked up through his eyelashes and gave you a tight-lipped smile before he went back to the book, the "smile" already gone from his face.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you wished that your brain would shut up. It wasn't un-normal for Theo not to verbally answer you, but he would make it up with a warm smile or something similar.

Feeling embarrassed, you timidly sat yourself down on the foot of the soft bed, before picking up your charms book. Your finger ran up the old and flaked back of the book as you tried to concentrate.

Although you knew that you needed to study, the feeling was overpowered by the need to take find out what was through his pretty mind.

"So, how've your days been?" Theodore looked almost startled by your question as he snapped his eyes up to meet your y/e/c ones. But when he slowly lowered them again, you felt disappointed.

"It was alright. Was quiet." He answered absent-mindedly. But you smiled lightly to yourself, knowing it was probably a bit quieter when you weren't around. He told you once that he liked how you drowned out the silence from his ears.

"It was quite nice actually."Oh. It took a while for you to register his words. But you did, and for a while, you wondered if he knew what he said. It was a big concern of yours, that you talked too much that is. You thought that he at least found it bearable.

But you didn't want him to think that he hurt you, especially if he only thought about it as a mindless joke or comment, so you gave him a chuckle that felt like it would tear your throat open for blood.

Theodore heard you swallow hard, and it was obvious why. He hadn't thought about the words as they left his mouth. But for some reason, it felt like he should hurt you for what you did to him. Even I'd you were completely innocent to it.

He felt regret hit him exactly two seconds later like a punch in his gut.

He cleared his throat, and your eyes quickly shot up to him.

"I'm tired today, so you should probably leave so that I can get some sleep." He mumbled, looking you straight in the eye with those foreign, distant eyes.

You sighed in dismay, now knowing that something wasn't right.

"Theo, are you alright?" You placed your hand on his leg. Theo swallowed down the guilt he felt and gave you a pitiful nod. But the look in your eyes told him that you didn't quite believe him, and the thought of you caring so much about him made a little smile bloom on his face.

"I'm okay, I promise." He told you lowly, and you let out another sigh, nodding slightly before starting to gather your books.

You knew that he was lying, and you despised it when he lied. Because you always assumed that he would tell you if something was bothering him.

But apparently, he required time, and you were willing to give it to him. But not too much.

Because out of the personal experience, you know that suffering in silence would get you nowhere.

"Goodnight, Theo. Sleep well." You gave him a last smile but didn't stay long enough to see him give you one back.

꧁꧂

"I don't know what's going on with him, Hermione." You sighed, dragging your hands over your face. The entire ordeal was stressing you out, and you didn't know what to do about it. You would try to talk to him, that is if you could catch him since he has been avoiding you like a plague ever since that night.

Hermione sat besides you in the dining hall, a frown on her face as she thought about your situation. She watched as you concealed the lower half of your face in your sweater clad arms in despair.

"And you did try to speak to him?" She interrogated and you nodded, finding interest in one of her quills.

"Yes, but as I said I don't think that he even wants to talk about it with me." It was quiet between you for a while, and you took a small sip of your green tea.

"Maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore. I might have said something to provoke him?" You questioned yourself and Hermione stared at you with sympathy in her eyes.

She reached forward and grabbed one of your hands in her own.

"Don't think like that, by what you have told me in the past, that doesn't sound like Theodore at all. So stop letting those harmful thoughts get to you." You looked down and your and Hermoine's tied hands, before meeting her eyes and nodding. It soothed your anxious thoughts a little, to know that you had someone that would help you through anything.

꧁꧂

The rest of the day went by slowly, as it had the other days prior. You didn't have anything to look forward to, since Theo didn't meet you after class anymore. And you were beginning to get impatient and restless, waiting for something that you weren't sure was going to happen.

You didn't have anyone to speak about music to, among every other topic that you would sit and discuss with Theo on your days. And during this time of loneliness, you realized truly how much you depended on him. He was what continued to keep your head over the water, never letting you sink under the pressure. He was what everyone would need to survive, he was like water.

And you were slowly dying without him.

You slowly rose from your bed, realizing that you couldn't lay here with your depressing thoughts. So you decided for a a stroll in the castle.

In the middle of the courtyard sat a small group of Beauxbaton girls, which were almost the only people you'd seen this entire afternoon, but oh to behold. On the other side, in the window of the wall, sat a boy with dark curly hair with his nose in a book.

And in that moment you had been patient enough.

He didn't notice when you stopped in front of him, to intertwine with the words on the pages. You didn't want to disturb him, but this time you had to put yourself first. So you loudly cleared your throat to catch his attention.

Theodore almost jumped when he heard it, and when he met your eyes he felt like his heart was jumping out of his throat. He was not prepared to see you standing in front of him.

You tilted your head as he quickly closed his book and put down his feet from the windowsill. It was an awkward silence, no one saying anything as Theodore nervously played with his fingers.

"Hi, Theo." You took the first step, wanting this game of cat and mouse to be over. He awkwardly lifted his fingers as a reply, and you frowned as he wouldn't look at you.

"Theo, I have given you time, and I don't want to pressure you but I don't think this is good for you?" You tried your best to gain eye contact, but it didn't work so you just ended up settling beside him.

"That what isn't good for me?" He sounded almost irritated and you were a bit taken back.

"That you're pulling yourself away from people, it's not healthy."

"I'm not pulling myself away from people." He nearly interrupted me, and I fretted at his words.

"So you're only pulling yourself away from me then? Why?" Theo swallowed hard at your question. He didn't dare to tell you, but he wished that he could be so selfish so that he could. But it wasn't right of him to destroy your first relationship.

"I just don't feel like talking, why can you not understand that." He told you sternly, and you saw his awkward posture and behavior melt into something harsh and hostile once again.

"I do understand, but this thing is affecting our friendship." It was quiet, and Theodore just stared out through the opposite window, not answering, or even giving a sign that he listened.

"Theodore I miss speaking to you. And I miss being with you." Theo tensed at the mention of his full name falling from your lips, and he saw you lean back as he suddenly stood up.

"Well, I can't handle you speaking to me right now. I'm tired of it, and I need space." He looked you right in the eye when he said it. And you felt your chest contract painfully as you saw no regret in his eyes.

You looked down on your lap, not knowing how to continue after your unsuccessful attempt to get him talking. And now only that but his words were beginning to hurt.

"I'm sorry Theo, I didn't want to push you." You said, your despair stuck in your throat like poison. He didn't answer, only looking down upon you with empty eyes. You tried to search for any feeling in his face, but nothing was shown, not even a small ounce of sadness.

Theodore slowly started to walk past you and you followed him with your eyes as he walked. You felt helpless and afraid. Like if you didn't do something right now, he would leave you forever.

A painful huff left Theodore's pink lips when he felt something squeezing him painfully hard around his slender waist. And he didn't have to look down to know that he would see your y/h/c hair, and he certainly didn't want to, since he would be at his knees, apologizing the second he did. So he just stood there and stared. Not move his arms to embrace you, but neither moves out of your hug.

You waited for him to embrace you like he always did. For his arms to envelope your head while he stroked your hair. But nothing came. His chest was tense against your cheek, but you didn't care. You were not going to let him go until he at least patted you on the back.

"Y/n, let go." He tried to instruct you, and he sighed when you only tighten your arms harder around him. He let his head fall to the side in frustration. It didn't matter that he liked to have your arms around him, because right now it was painful, and it was not because of your hand grip.

A spark of hope ignited in your chest as you felt him move his arms, and you felt yourself relax when his fingertips grace your sleeves.

A yelp left your throat as you felt his slender hands take a hard grip around your wrists. He easily pried your hands apart as you were in slight shock, and he swiftly threw your arms off him before storming down the corridor. Past a certain black-haired male with round glasses, with good ears to be added.

You watched him walk, to get away from you as if you were the pest. Labored breaths escaped your nose as your tears were kept at bay. Storming away from the corridor, you needed to find a place to be alone at.

꧁꧂

Later you found yourself on a stone staircase with your head leaned against Harry's shoulder and his arm wrapped around your shoulder. He tried to console your choked cries, but nothing seemed to help. He realized that this was the first time that you'd cried in front of him. Remus used to tell him how you were a sensitive child when young, but Harry would've never guessed. Especially by the lack of despair, you showed during the years that you'd known him.

A cold wind went through the open wall, and he watched as the sky cried with you.

Footsteps were heard in the distance, but your cries made you unable to hear them. Harry turned his head towards the opening as he heard someone stop in it, and was surprised to see Nott in all his glory, looking at you with guilty eyes.

Harry suspects that he didn't notice him at first because it seemed to take a second before realizing whose arms you were in. And when Theodore met his eyes, they turned into stone. But Harry wasn't blind.

He saw the heartbreak since it matched the eyes that Hermoine had for Ron after I said something idiotic.

꧁꧂

When Mattheo and Blaize entered their shared room, they were expecting to find Theodore with either you, sleeping, or his nose in a new book. Not his back faced against the door, head in his hands and elbow resting on his legs as pitiful sniffles echoed through the room.

Their conversation came to an end when they realized what was happening, and they gave each other a look before walking up to the bed.

"Nott, what's up with you?" Mattheo asked carelessly, earning a jab in the ribs.

"Don't be a twat." Blaize hissed.

Theodore quickly wiped his cheeks and eyes before sitting up in his bed, leaning his back on the head board with bent knees.

He didn't look at them.

"Nothing of your concern." His voice cracked.

He did end up telling about the things that'd happen, obviously not in detail, but enough of the story so that his two friends could understand, and later leave them alone.

Blaize couldn't decide on where to stand. Theodore was his friend, and he understood what situation he'd gotten himself into. But he also thought that Theodore had been a dick.

"Come on Nott, it's only a girl. There so much better things in the world than girls." Mattheo casually said from his bed while he changed his rooms for his evening clothes.

Blaize snorted from his place on Theo's bed, and Mattheos head emidiatly snapped towards him, sending him a deadly glare.

"Like you know how to fall in love Mattheo." Blaize adjusted his collar at the emotionless voice of Theodore, and he waited patiently for Mattheo to snap at him. But was mildly surprised when he only laughed at him.

"I'm serious, I don't know what to do. I don't even think I can do anything."

"But it's just a crush right? It will fade in time Theo." Blaize thought that he's words would bring a little bit of comfort to the distressed Slytherin. He wasn't right.

"I haven't met someone that cared for me like that since my mother died."

The room went airily quiet. And both of them turned towards Theodore, who was again carrying tears in his long lashes.

꧁Two months later꧂

Second tournament

He felt weak. And the screaming of different students around him was hurting his eardrums. He wished that he could crawl back to his bed, or maybe just to lay down on the damp wood under his feet.

Thedore looked sick. His face had gained a new gray colour to it, and usual circles under his eyes had increased tenfold. It had even gotten so bad that his clothes wasn't fitting as they should anymore.

He anxiously chewed on his nails. He hadn't caught a glimpse of you in two entire days. He was aware that you weren't talking anymore, that you haven't had an interaction since that day two months ago. But he felt guilty, but he's chance to apologize was ruined by his pettiness when he saw you in Harry Potters arms, and since then he thought that it was to late. Though it didn't stop him to keep you in check.

Ever since that day, he'd watched over you. Not following you or starring at you. Only making sure that you were still there. He remember those days that he hadn't caught a glimpse of you. He wouldn't be able to sleep, loud thoughts making it so quiet in the room as he wondered where you were.

The water started to ripple when he saw Cedric Diggory emerge with Cho Chang in his arms, your friend.

The Hogwart's students exploded in shouts and jubilation of glee as he was pulled up from the watter.

Theodore didn't give to shits about who won. The need to find you was growing by the second, making his mind go hazy.

The Durmstrangs shouted proudly as Viktor Krum came out of the water, Hermione Granger besides him, looking very confused and cold.

Another one of her friends.

Gasps, shouts and screams was heard when, instead of Harry, two girls apeared in the water.

Your head violently turned as you heard the shouts around you. And you realised quickly that you'd been rescued from the second task. But you didn't mask your confusion as you were met with a young blond girl instead of Harry, but you didn't have any time to waste so you quickly helped her towards the stand.

When you were finally dragged up people started to surround you with blankets, pats on the back, and even a few hugs from the closest.

You didn't even notice when Harry was shot up from the water since you were shaking in your shoes while feeling over stimulated by the people around you.

"Y/n!" You didn't get time to see the person that had desperately shouted your name, becuase before you even had time to think, arms had circled your neck and you were quite forcefully pulled into someone. And when your nose hit their chest you emidiatly realised who it was.

Theo was holding you in a death grip, squeezing you as you slowly circled you arms around him.

"Theo." You whispered, and with the call of his name he let you go, but he didn't leave you. He messily took of his green and grey scarf, and began to wrap it around your neck  and when he was done with that he darted to quickly wipe your still wet face with hid cold hands, felling desperate to feel your skin.

"Theo." He stopped, hands shaking and eyes wide. You didn't look at him with anger. You didn't look at him with a sad eye. You looked worried. His face was slimmer and he certainly didn't look all to well. He was breathing heavily, as if he just ha been pulled out of a nightmare.

He watched intently as you raised your hand to his cheek, and butterfly erupted in his stomach. He almost wanted to cry when you stopped yourself.

You hadn't forgotten how he treated you. You wanted to, but the actions had already been done and the words had been thrown. And he hadn't even apologized.

"Nott!" Mattheo roared as the crowd started to leave and Theadore requlantly stood up before leaving you and his scarf to go to his friends. You followed him with your eyes as he got into the boat, taking some time to just look on his face.

He is so beutiful. With hid straight nose, sharp jaw and big tired brown eyes. You wanted to blame the heat on your cheeks on the drastical temperature changes, you couldn't believe that you were still so in love with him after everything he's done.

You yelped as you were hoisted up on your legs by two pair of arms and smiled when you saw a drenched Hermione and a happy Ron on your sides.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked you, not hiding her excitement.

"Yeah, Nott just hugged you infront of the entire bloody school, what's gotten into that bloke." Ron said in disbelief as you began to walk towards the boats.

"Oh don't you get Ronald, it's love." Hermione smiled happily, and you laughed as Ronald shook his head until you realised what she said.

"What do you mean by 'love'?" You eyed her carefully, but she casually ignored you as she sat down on a boat, dragging you and Ron with her.

"She has a bet with Fred and George about who's going to confess first. Fred and George thinks that Nott is going to confess first by the last trial." Ron explained, before Hermione interrupted him.

"And I believe that Theodore is going to confess sometime around the second task, more exactly, today." You looked at Hermoine with a fish mouth. In your entire time of knowing Hermoine, you have never heard her make a bet. Especially not on a so stupid thing as your love life.

"What makes you belive that? He hasn't spoken to me in two months!" You exclaimed while holding up two figners.

Hermione looked at with an odd expression.

"I'm sorry are you blind? Have you seen him the last week. He's been looking at you like a homeless kitten. It's sad really." Hermione looked forwards again and you only shook your head at her.

"But why did no one bet on me to confess first?" You slapped your hand of your mouth as you realised what you said, and Hermoine let out a gasp.

"So you do like him!?" You hushed her quickly, looking around you to make sure that no one was listening to you conversation.

"Shut it, I don't need the entire school to know." You hissed when the boat came to a stop.

"Oh belive me, the entire school does already know." Ron concluded as he stepped out from the boat. Hermione glared at him as they walked, but he only smiled lightly.

Suddenly, they stopped and you casted your eyes forwards, only to see Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo Bekshire standing infront of you. You looked in between them quiestongly.

"Uh, hello." Lorenzo said bashfully with a smile on his face. Ron and Hemoine looked doubtfully between the two boys as they stood infront of them, Lorenzo trying to make small talk while Mattheo looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than infront of them.

"Alright that's enough." Mathheo interrupted Lorenzos talk about the weather before grabbing you by your upper arm and dragging you away from your friends.

"Come on, we need to talk." You looked in panic back towards Ron and Hermoine, who booth looked as confused as you felt. You looked at Lorenzo as he caught up with you, and gave you a bright smile, which you returned with an unsure smile from yourself.

You wanted to ask where you were going, but you didn't have to when you saw the rest of the slytherins, along with Theo standing there and talking mindlessly.

You emidiatly tensed up and tried to struggle out of Mattheos hard grip.

"Nuh uh. You two are going to speak to each other today. I'm tired of getting woken up by Notts crying in the middle of the bloody night." He mumbled, and began to drag you towards them again.

Had Theo been crying?

"Nott!" Mattheo yelled, gaining the attention of the small group. Theodore felt his heart drop when he saw who was with them. As if it were an instict, he tried to find a way out of it, not really feeling the need to meet your dissepointment for real.

But a hand on his holder stopped his head from moving around.

"Theodore, this is your only chance to make it right. You have to tell her." Blaize whispered, and Theodore pursed lips knowing that he was right. So with heavy feet, he walked up to you.

Lorenzo gave you a nodd, before walking along with the rest of the group, who was giving you strange looks before Lorenzo had started to sho them away.

It was quiet, the only thing that was heard was the splashing of the waves against the shore, and the wind blowing in the trees.

"Theodore wha-."

"How are you and Harry?" You watched as his face contorted into a fake smile, stuffing his hands even further down his black coat.

"Me and Harry?" He looked at you with his eyebrows together, as if it was obvious that it was you and Harry.

"It's... good? I'm sorry I don't really understand." Theodore sighed as he kicked in the dirt, feeling anxious towards your calculating eyes.

"Nothing."

"Are you still cold?" He asked, finally finding the courage to meet your eye once again. He swallowed hard when he saw your sad frown as you shook your head, trying to apear to be glader than you really were.

"No, your scarf is warm." Now it was your turn to look away. His big brown eyes were starring at with the same softness that you hadn't seen for two months.

"I-.. I'm sorry. I never meant to be so... distant." He chocked out. He looked like he was in pain. And he probably felt like it to. You looked at him as he swallowed and harkeld as he waited for you to say something.

"Did i do something, Theodore?" You said in low voice. For the first time ever, you felt intimidated by his precens. The way his body slightly towers your own, how his eyes constantly loomed over you face.

"No. Of course not." He sighed after a beat of silence. He took a step closer to you, not feeling comfortable to be so far away from you. An you looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Theodore, if you're going to say something i want you to say it now, otherwise I'll leave." It was quiet for a moment and Theodore felt stuck.

He watched as you sighed deeply, looking down on the ground before swiftly walking by him.

Theodore reacted instantly. Before you were able to walk any further, he quickly took a strong hold on your wrist forcing you to stop. And you ended up standing shoulder against shoulder, with his against the lake and your eyes on the leaf covored ground, turned towards the forest.

"Y/n." He said. You didn't react.

"Y/n, look at me." He sternly ordered, and you could feel that he was staring at the side of your head. His hand slightly tightened in an almost possessive way around your wrist, and you couldn't lie that it brought a nervous feeling to your stomach.

His hand slowly started to raise from your wrist, his fingertips slowly tracing the length of your arm, and you wanted to belive that you could feel the warmth of his fingertips through the layers of your soaked clothes and blankets.

"I want to be selfish." He spoke lowly and melancholy. You were confused because it didn't even sound like he was speaking to you.

His continued up towards your face, and you took a deep breath with you felt his knuckles starting to steadily graze your cheek.

"I love you."

You snapped your head towards him feeling anger rise faster than a rocket in you chest. Angry tears hung in your lashes, and maybe in different scenario you would have been happier, but your butterflies had no chance do defeat the flames of your anger.

"You're a coward." His face fell the second he heard your words.

"I know my love." He sadly smiled at me as he soothed his palm over you cheek.

"You didn't speak to me for months, only because you liked me? You hurt me, Theo." You tried to confirm what you were hearing, but it was hard to keep your voice steady.

"I didn't speak to you for months because I'm in love with you." His forehead made contact with the side of your head.

"I didn't speak to you for months because if I did I would become selfish, and if I did I would destroy everything that you and Potter have together." He slowly lowered his head, so that he could peck you by the ear before he left, but was disappointed when you abruptly pulled away from him.

"What is this constant japing about me and Harry?! I have never in my life been in love with him, let alone dating him!" You shouted, your frustration running amock as you realized how utterly dumb Theodore Nott was.

"You ignored me for two months because you thought I was in love with Harry?" You quietened down when you saw the startled eyes that Theo gave you after you shouted.

He didn't answer, only continued to stare at you with big eyes.

"Theodore Nott, if you had just told me about your feelings nothing of this would have happened. I would be yours by now if you just to-" Something warm touched your top lip, which made your voice get lost in the autumn air. Your eyes were blown wide as you saw Theo being so close to you with your eyes closed, his big hands on your cheeks and his soft lips on yours.

He slowly cracked his eyes open, and he felt his cheeks become red when he saw your pupil-blown eyes starring at him

"Close your eyes." He mumbled shyly against your lips, and when you did as he said, he collected one more kiss. This on being directly in the middle of your lips.

Your arms hung limply at your sides as you tried your best to kiss him back.

When he pulled away his breath was much shakier than he intended it to be, and he felt embarrassed when a lonely tear escaped his eye.

You quickly stood up on your toes, and kissed him right under his closed eye, tasting the salt of his tear on your lips as you pulled away.

"Theo."

"I'm sorry. I should never have done that to you."

"Theo I think I'm in love with you."

꧁ end ꧂

I think it was a little half as but whatevs

Thanks to @eunoiathewriter for helping me with the idea!

.·:*¨༺ 𝑵𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 ༻¨*:·.

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❀ 𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 ❀

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❀ 𝑴𝒚 𝑀𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ❀

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𝙼𝚢 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙸𝚏 𝚜𝚘, 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚡 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎.

𝙼𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚡𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚍.

:)

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Should i open my request????🤔

𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐞

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Xavier Thorpe x reader

Category: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: none, heartbreak, maybe violence

Summary: (Name) is in love with Xavier, but can't be sure about his feelings and therefore does nothing. Until the Poe cup, where Xavier desires to make her mind a mess.

Words: I have no fucking idè

A/N: this was supposed to be a super long fan fiction that went in-depth and had a great story. But I only had the energy to write the first scene. I hope you'll enjoy it either way. Thank to @eunoiathewriter for the help;)

Yeah

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The sun's autumn beams were stronger today than they had been in a long time and it was refreshing to see the blue sky instead of the grey clouds that were filled with cold rain.

(Name) wished that she could feel more delight in the orange globe, but her skin had been itching ever since she stepped out in the sun.

Yoko did recommend a very good sunscreen a while ago, but (Name) lost her bottle, and didn't think about getting a new one since it was autumn and she thought that the sun wouldn't be as irritating as it was right now.

(Name) adjusted herself in the black-painted canoe, already feeling uncomfortable in the wooden seat. It created a small ripple in the water, and she couldn't help but transfix it since the sun made it look like a thousand shining tears. She loved the water and adored taking a swim in the lake when she used to be young, it was calming and brought her joy which was something that she was always searching for in her life. Joy and content, so she was sure that she was living her best life. But of course, it wasn't easy. It was like, so it wasn't supposed to be.

Someone cleared their throat above her, and her attention away from the beautiful water, to see that Enid we're looking at her with a teasing grin.

"What?" (Name) asked with a perplexed furrow in her eyebrow as a giggle left the blond girl's lips.

Enid looked away from her, and instead fixed her eyes on something to their left, and (Name) slowly followed her gaze to where it was pointing.

When she spotted what Enid was implying (Name) to look at, she snapped her head back towards Enid and gave her a malicious glare, to which Enid returned with a cutesy wink. A habit that had become a costume.

What Enid had been looking at -or rather who- was a boy from one of the opposite teams. A boy with long, light golden hair, that was sadly covered by a mildly atrocious jingling hat.

Her grip on the oar tightened as Xavier playfully smiled at his teammates, for it felt like she was going to throw up butterflies. Not many knew that she had a romantic interest in Xavier, and she intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. If it was something she despised, it was when people she barely knew were up and rummaging through her personal life.

Then, absolutely out of nowhere, a shot tore her eardrums, jubilees from other students echoed over the lake, and her teammates yelled at each other to row faster. She hadn't even realized that Weems had been speaking in the first place.

The autumn wind blew coldly against her face as they accelerated, and water splashed against her hands, perfect droplets landing on her black nail polish. A shiver ran down her spine when the tip of her sleeves got wet, and for only a second she lost her attention to the race and tried to roll up her sleeves.

"Duck!" Someone shouted, and (Name) felt a hand press down her head from behind, making her barely miss the axe that came swinging towards her.

"Pay attention." Wednesday chastised her. (Name) pursed her lips, she was about to apologize, but it got caught in her throat as one of the four canoes was split in half as it crashed into a big red object in the middle of the river. The people in the boat flew off it on the impact, and with screams landed in the murky water.

Something, like a shadow, swished under the canoe, and she bit the inside of her cheek in both nerves and expectation.

But nothing happened, and they were seeing the end of the tunnel as their water road got smaller and the small dock was able to be spotted. The clowns got to port first, which left a taste of disdain in her mouth along with with a pinch of annoyance. She watched as one of them left the boat to run into the forest, right for the flag hidden amongst the leaves. But she didn't see who it was.

Barely a minute after, their canoe made contact with the sore, jerking slightly at the impact.

"Who will get the flag?" (Name) hastily questioned while tying the boat.

"I think that-" Enid began but was interrupted by Wednesday.

"(Name) should get it, she is the quickest on her feet. And the canoe needs to be guarded." (Name)'s eyes shot up to meet Wednesday's in absolute shock. But Wednesday we're visibly stuck in a stare-off with Enid.

"Fine." She settled and proceeded back to sit in the boat, seeming to have a few phrases exchanged with Thing. (Name) looked on Wednesday again, wanting to complain that she was an awful choice. But she didn't leave any room for (Name) to kvetch and gave her persistent nod before turning away.

And they were short on time, so she clenched her jaw and began to jog into the autumn.

Finding the flags wasn't hard, but pulling her team flag out of the pile of stone was proven to be harder than she assumed. It was shoved in between three big stones, and they were squeezing the end of the flag into a position that was difficult to manipulate.

Even though she did consider herself to be a moderately strong person, excluding the perks of being an undead, bloodsucking creature, this was getting ridiculous.

She braised one of her legs against the stone and gave it a last wag before she yanked at it with all of her strength, and finally, it came out.

But the backlash was that she lost her balance and fell straight down on her back, dropping the flag in the process.

A hiss of beating pain that bloomed in her back escaped her, and the air left her lungs. So she had no choice but to lay on the ground just so that she could get her breath back.

"What are you doing?" The question startled her, and her eyes shot open to be met with the clown-painted face of Xavier.

Her body tensed and she quickly swallowed the embarrassment and nerves down her tight throat.

"I fell." She voiced, almost like a robot. Xavier scoffed as his feet shuffled around by her head, where he was standing.

"You don't say." She didn't answer, mostly because she felt like there wasn't an answer, otherwise because she felt close to speechless.

There was a quiet second as Xavier waited for an answer that wouldn't come before he realized that he was waiting for nothing, and instead, he walked over to her feet where the flag had rolled away.

She began to slowly push herself off the ground, grunting as her back stretched from the comfortless position. And at the same time, she didn't dare to look away from Xavier, for he now stood his full height, with her flag in his right hand, and his flag in his left. Clenching her fists, she stood up and looked at Xavier, stretching out her hand.

"The flag, Xavier." He looked at her with devious eyes and she pursed her lips in dread as he didn't seem to budge.

"Please, there's no time for this." She didn't want to turn towards desperation to get what she wanted, but neither did she want to see Enid disappointed for another year because her team didn't get the Poe Cup. And especially if she could have done something about it.

He seemed to be contemplating but she knew that he just wanted to tease.

"Alright, since you said please."

He sauntered closer with the black flag extended toward her, and she took a strong grip around the hilt so that he wouldn't be able to pull it away. But she was about to take it completely in her hands, Xavier, pulled quite hard at his end of the flag, sending (Name) straight into his chest with a yelp.

"On one condition."He declared, and she wrinkled her eyebrows in both puzzlements, and to hide her flustered face.

She jerked in surprise as one of his hands came up to her cheek. It warmed against her autumn skin, and the contrast felt like a sunrise. Where night meets day, and the moon gets a glimpse of the sun before she disappeared behind the edge of the earth.

His smooth thumb caressed her skin, and her world ended as the sun in her heart rose.

"You can stop me whenever you want." He whispered.

She would never stop him.

Fingers came under her jaw, and Xavier angled her face towards his. A breath, containing her uncertainty left her cold lips, and something resembling a tidal wave raised inside of her.

Xavier's big, brown eyes met hers, crammed with fierceness and perseverance. (Name) had never seen him look at anyone with the same fire, and she almost questioned if the eyes she was gazing into were Xaviers.

But what disclosed his true self, were the underlying innocence and softness in his eyes. That kind of innocence and softness made him look like the boyish teenager that he truly was. It comforted her, he comforted her in the most unexpected ways.

His breath fanned upon her nose, and she sweetly realized that he'd brought his face closer.

A precious pair of lips were placed upon hers, fitting in between hers like a puzzle, and (Name) found herself wanting to bask in that feeling forever- to never let anything sad, heartbreaking, angry, or frustrating get to her mind again. Only ever live in this silent peace that finally had settled in her heart.

Nature interrupted them, interrupted the moment that she had yearned for, interrupting the fleeting feelings of longing inside Xavier's ribcage.

He broke apart from her as the dry leaves were crushed against the earthy soil, and his panicked eyes passed swiftly over the area, trying to locate the source of the sound.

A glance was thrown toward (Name), and when their eyes came together, like lightning clashing against each other, Xavier's hand swiftly pulled away from her now warm skin, and (Name) could decipher the change of emotions in his face and she realized that she had dragged herself into something painful.

The resting comfort of his face was pulled into regret and anxiety.

Then he swallowed while shaking his head before he ran.

He flew away from her, from her cracking heart and her conflicted mind.

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That's it folks, part 2 maybe?

𝕃𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕀𝕟𝕜

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑜𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑁𝑜𝑡𝑡 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛,

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑏𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 5𝑘

A/N: my second fic, took forever to write as usual. Enjoy:)

Theo stared intently at his desk with his arms crossed over his chest. He was sitting in divination, not listening as Professor Trewlany droned on about 'the art of studying horoscope charts'. Every single word that escaped her mouth made its way to Theo's ears like a mosquito's bussing, which irked him to no end. He didn't even know why he signed up for the class to begin with. That's a lie. The reason he was slumping in this class was absurd, and the absurd reason was sitting by the round table in front of him, looking half asleep.

He struck you a glance, feeling the scent of overly-soaked tea and Incense reach his nose as he took a deep breath. He felt truly pathetic. Taking a ridiculous class for a girl. He could practically hear his ancestors cackling at him from their graves.

But how could he not, it was you. You with your old sweaters, you with that sarcastic mouth, you with that creative and colorful mind that always seemed to impress him. As he said before, absurd.

His eyes slowly traveled back to his table. Or rather what was laying on his table.

Before, at the almost beginning of the lesson, he'd found a letter in amongst his books. It looked like it had been written on very old parchment, and the ink that spelled out Theodore was smudged on the edges as if someone had swiped their hand over it before letting the ink dry.

He picked it up and thumbed at the edge of the folded paper, speculating if he should open it or not. A part of him was filled with nerves and slightly excited about receiving a letter. But at the same time dread, it because what if it was a detailed written letter about someone's undying love for him.

Theo truly couldn't understand how some people loved him so much that they felt the need to confess by letter. He had never really been the most handsome when he was younger, at least that was what he thought, but when he grew into puberty it changed. His looks, his voice, his height. And also his popularity among the boys and girls at Hogwarts and along with the streets of London.

"Mr. Nott!" He slowly carried his eyes forwards, meeting his gaze with the big googly eyes of Professor Trewlany, along with every single student in the classroom.

"Ah! There you are, though I had lost you for a second there." she smiled toothily,  and she continued with the lesson as if nothing had happened.

He felt embarrassment crawl steadily up his neck, and he lightly cleared his throat as if he could cough away the feeling.

Feeling a pair of eyes crawling over him, he looked around, finding that it was you that had been looking at him. Warmth rose to his ears, and the feelings had come to be to get too much for Theo.

He lightly tilted his head to you, as if asking what you wanted, and you raised one of your eyebrows at him as if it were obvious why you were staring at him. And you knew that he knew what you meant when he mouthed a 'later' before trying to focus on your lesson again. Albeit it was hard, as his fingers itched to unfold the letter but he wanted to open it outside the classroom with your guidance.

You slowly turned in your seat again, still wondering what could have gotten him so tense.

--

His head quickly turned around when you got a hold of him, and his face pleasantly relaxed when he saw you scowling at a student that had pushed you aside to get by. You proceeded to push him forward as you felt students starting to step at the heel of your shoes.

When the lesson finally came to an end, you did your best to stand up and sprint after Theo, even though your body tingled in pain from the uncomfortable position you sat in during the last hours. You saw his mop of hair walk out of the doorway, and you hurriedly shoved through your classmates to catch up with him. And when you finally reached him, you quickly took a handful of the back of his robe so that either you or he wouldn't lose each other in the crowd.

"Alright, alright, no need to push me." He told with a slight attitude layering with his clear voice. You rolled your eyes but did listen to him either way, not having the energy to push him either way.

It felt like you could breathe again when you finally arrived at the end of the stairs, and you slowly let go of Theo's robe as your hand started to cramp because of the harsh clasp you had on him. And the two of you began to track through the corridor that led to the courtyard.

"Nice weather today innit?" Theo looked at you weirdly as you tried to small talk. Your steps echoed in the once empty hall, and he wondered what had gotten you so awkward all of a sudden.

You couldn't help but take a look at him as you walked shoulder against shoulder. His hair was different like he'd started to take care of his dark brown locks. Its hair had a new shine to it, especially when the sun hit it. You lightly cleared your throat when you realized that you were starting again, and looked out of one of the big windows.

"What, you want to go out or something." He asked, and it wasn't until after he said it that he realized how it sounded. But it didn't seem like you noticed. He didn't know whether he should be happy or not about it.

You thought about it, and you decided that it did sound like a good idea. So you gave him a nod.

"Good, because I need your help." You watched curiously as he dug his hand into his pant pocket, and pulled out a piece of folded paper. Your eyes widened almost comically as you watched him fiddle with the familiar piece of parchment. You felt as if the hallway suddenly became a little bit too warm, and you felt yourself starting to sweat under your school uniform.

"Found this in one of my books earlier." He told you, turning the paper around, inspecting it. Panic began to rise in your chest as he grabbed your wrist and dragged you along, his eyes still caught on the letter.

Why didn't he open it when he got it?! Is he stupid?! Why do I need to be with him, does he know? Is he trying to embarrass me?

"Oh, hold on! I just remembered. Professor Dumbledor wanted me to go to his office after divination, something about Magic of dark arts." Everything came out in a jumble of words and you were worried that you were going to get tongue-tied.

You looked around yourself, trying to find anything that would bring you out of the awkward situation. But nothing. So you used your brain the best you could, trying to find a good enough excuse to get out of the excruciatingly embarrassing moment.

Theo watched you with suspicion. You were doing good in that class, always graduating with the highest grade. But he recently let you go, either way, finding no peace in arguing with you.

"Alright, see you later then." He nodded, and you saw how he was fighting off a frown, but you shook the guilt off and ran towards Dumbledor's office. Or more like running past his office and sprinting towards the Gryffindor common rooms.

You pushed through the people on the stairs, accidentally stepping on Neville's foot in the process.

"Sorry, Neville!" Nevil, Dean, and Seamus watched you crawl up the stairs in a hurry.

"I'm telling you, that lady is crazy." Seamus voiced, and Dean snorted loudly.

--

"So stupid." You muttered, shaking your head.

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia." You articulated, giving a glance to your surroundings before slipping into the red and yellow painted common room. The room was luckily empty, most of the students enjoying the last warmth of the sun before it became cold once again. You unconsciously started pacing around in the room with your thumbnail getting amused by your teeth.

"So, so stupid. Why would you give him a letter? He hates letters." Cursing at your stupid decisions, you threw yourself on one of the couches, letting your body melt into the fluffy cushions with your jaw resting on the place between your collarbones.

"Shut up Fred."

"Oh, what a depressing sight." Someone sighed deeply, a faux petty in their voice. You knew that voice by heart and didn't have to look up when two weights invited themselves on either side of your potato bag of a body.

"He's right, you look depressing. Maybe even a bit pathetic, with a little piece of hopelessness in the mix." George rubbed his imaginary beard as he thought about what you looked like.

You sighed. Normally the presence of a Weasly would be enough to dig you out of your moods, but this time it did the opposite.

"Thanks, I'm aware." There was a bite in your voice, and the twins met eyes, both holding a pinch of surprise in their brown irises.

Fred slowly sank into the couch, mirroring your body language. Whether it was to tease you or if he felt as utterly dumb as you did, no one knew. And frankly, you didn't care.

"Oh? was that what I thought it was?" Fred egged on, and the small laugh that escaped you was uncontrolled. It was strange how they were able to be such mood lifters. Because they could be real asshats in their moments.

"Soooooo." You felt George starting to rearrange is the position he was in, and after some shuffling around, he was laying on his stomach with his legs swaying back and forth. They stared at you with those puppy dog-like eyes, and you were forced to push your tongue against the wall of your cheek to not let your smile show.

"How did the letter thing go, did you woo him with your charming letter." And you were back to sulking once more.

"It went shit." You muttered.

"Elaborate." Fred encouraged, resting his head in his palm.

You sighed dramatically before resting your head on the edge of the back seat.

"He didn't open the letter when he got it, and then he expected me - who wrote the letter - to sit with him while he read it like a bloody moron." Rambling and exaggerating were two things of your specialty. It did occur often, but fortunately, no one seemed to think that it mattered, only finding it a little more amusing.

"Well, he must know that you're so extremely head over heels in love with him either way now since he read the letter I mean," Ginny spoke up from nowhere and your head snapped towards her when she did. Fred and George agreed from their point of view, thinking that the problem was solved.

"They told me." She quickly defended herself while pointing at the two boys on your sides.

"Why wouldn't you sign with your name when you declared your love for him, you moron," Ginny whined. And you tried to get out an excuse for your stupid mistake.

"Well, he would know, yes. If it weren't for the fact that I did not sign my name." With a guilty mumble, you sank even further down on the couch, feeling the weight of the consequences of your action on your shoulders. Or rather the lack of action.

The three siblings simultaneously groaned and complained at your confession.

"Bu- Well it wasn't like it was an 'exact declaration'. I just wrote about how his hair and eyes looked nice." You shrugged with a small pout forming on your lips. The whole ordeal was beginning to feel ridiculous and you were starting to regret ever giving him the note in the first place.

"What did you even expect to happen. That he would figure out who it was in two seconds and run into your arms?" Ginny asked, and the twins gasped comedically.

"Harsh, sister."

You let out a pitiful groan. "No, she's right. I should just... not continue. Let it be." You gave yourself an encouraging nod, ignoring the sinking feeling in your chest. You wanted to Nott about your feelings so bad, but you didn't have the mental strength to get turned down, and potentially ruin the only thing that let you be close to Theodore.

"No! That's even dumber! You are going to continue with this letter thing you've started with." Ginny pointed at you sternly, and she watched your eyes turn big at her tone of voice.

"Or else... Or else I'm going to take you off the Quidditch team." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the three of you. And just when you opened your mouth Ginny made sure to shut it.

To everyone's surprise, including your own, you did continue to anonymously send those poetic words to Theodore, and while you didn't do it with any proclaimed confidence, you didn't sit by the side to wait for the faith to tie you together.

"And don't think that I can't, because I know people." She informed with a stone face and puffed chest. You quickly nodded, not finding yourself intimidated by the younger girl, though still trusting her words. And with the confirmation from you, she swiftly turned around and let her legs carry her towards the door, intending to get that last beams of sunlight on her face.

--

And even though Theo might be the unaware genius, he was still observant and could detect a shift of emotion by the smallest twitch of an eyebrow or the tiny wrinkle on someone's nose. But it didn't seem to be in his favor for the situation he was glued in.

Though you didn't know if you gained a positive response from him since you always avoided him after the letter was hidden and given. And as Theodore was the smartest wizard in the house of Slytherin, in your year at least. It astounded you that the cunning Mr. Nott still hadn't come to figure out that the letters were from you. But you didn't know his point of view, and that was not calming your anxiety one bit. For while you craved for him to know your affections for him, you knew that the risk of rejection was still a major possibility of an outcome.

So when the lesson ended he quickly took a strong grip on your wrist before forcefully dragging you after him. At first, you didn't outwardly question him or protest, but when you saw the nicely folded papers in between his fingers, you felt a cooling bucket of panic getting thrown over your head.

He did notice that every time he brought up the factor that he wanted to show you something, you were immediately gone by the second. And your -what he hopes was- excuses were thoroughly thought out and planned, making them seem like they were only coincidences. And on his fifth letter he decided that it was time to tell you about the letters, even if, for whatever reason, you didn't want to hear.

Fear began to take over, doubts and anxious questions filling your brain to the rim. You attempted to object and you were beginning to run out of excuses, but it didn't matter because the second you opened your mouth you were shut down or hushed by Theodore.

"Oh Nott come on, stop being impossible!" you tried to protest.

"Oh hush and quit whining." Muttering. You despised when he muttered.

He grabbed the chair closest to you, and as the gentleman, he was, pulled it out for you.

It appeared to you that he was taking you to the library, and you let that calm your nerves since you knew that he would never try any confrontation in a public space. But to your horror, the library was packed with students. He decided that a spot in the back would be the best option, both for his and your comfort. And after accidentally walking into someone he finally arrived at the corner that he was looking for.

But you didn't seem to understand because first, you looked down at the seat that was meant for you before you slowly allowed your eyes to travel upon Theo, who was looking at you with a newfound determination. He was closer to your face than you prepared for, and you instinctively held your breath so that you wouldn't breathe on his face.

When you looked at him, Theo almost wanted to drop the act that he had going on. You looked up at him with big, questioning eyes and it took Theo the little self-restraint left after all the years with you to not do something regrettable.

"Sit." You could see his sharp canines as let the world out between his lips. It wasn't an ask and neither was it a suggestion. His demand caught you so off-guard that he didn't have time to blink before you were sitting on your chair.

"As you can see, I've been getting letters." He started.

Theo felt a small amount of ridiculous as he ordered you around, but he didn't have a choice since if he didn't, you would continue to slip through his fingers like an eel. He sat himself down in the red-clad chair and slowly pulled out the letters, trying to gauge a reaction from you. But your face didn't show any signs of discomfort, uneasiness, or awkwardness. The only emotion visible on your face was the cursed confusion.

"And I think that you already knew that since you've been trying to get away from me every time I try to bring them up." He paid notice to how your back slightly straightened, and he took that as an I sign to continue.

"But that doesn't matter right now." And that's a lie.

You watched as he tried to find the right words and a deep sigh told you that he was struggling. You had known Theo for 4 years, and even though he had a great capacity for writing and reading, he was still struggling with his speech. And it wasn't that he was bad at his grammar, he just had a problem expressing his feelings. And that had gotten you into many unforgettable fights and misunderstandings.

"I need your help." It was mumbled, almost not heard. You raised your eyebrows in slight surprise, feeling slightly helpless as you watched the seemingly distressed young man in front of you.

"And what might it be that Mr. Nott might need help with." You crossed your leg over the other, and you felt slightly bizarre at this moment.

Theodore watched your pellicular manner and raised his eyebrow at you when you reminded him a bit too much of a phycologist.

"Seriously, what's up with you?" He asked, but didn't have the needed patience to wait for an answer that wouldn't come.

"Whatever, what should I do with the letters?" What. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm afraid I'm lost."

He sighed, rolling his eyes and scoffing, seemingly feeling irritated by the fact that you didn't understand him for shit.

"Should I read them, throw them away? Or maybe you should read them?" He sounded conflicted like it was one of the hardest decisions he'd ever had to make, and you got curious about what could've gotten him to behave like he did at the moment.

"Wait, you haven't read the letters." It was more a conclusion than a question.

For some reason was the first emotion you felt embarrassment, and you had no clue as to why. Something in the back of your head told you that he knew that you were the culprit, but it was almost if not impossible for him to know. Or perhaps it was for the fact that you felt so desperate to know how he felt for you.

You could feel yourself sinking into your chair as Theo shook his head.

"I was going to read the first with you, but it seemed that Dumbledore's office and quidditch seemed to be more interesting." A small scowl melted upon your face, and annoyance flared up in your chest as he blamed his cowardness on you.

Theo felt his heart rattle as you lightly glared at him, whether it was from the feeling of excitement or uneasiness, he didn't know. And as an answer to your glare, almost like an instinct, he raised a challenging eyebrow.

It made you roll your eyes, starting to get tired of his childish behavior.

"Coward." You mumbled.

"I'm not a coward, I don't want to open the letters if I don't know who they're from." He hastily defended, and once again your face scrunched up in confusion. You shifted in your chair, uncrossing your legs and letting them fall to the sides as you sagged even more. And out of an accident, your foot made contact with his. You were just about to jump away, but Theo didn't move nor recognize it, so neither did you.

"So you want the letters to be from a specific person?" You sighed tiredly. You waited for the shake of his head and speech of denial. But it didn't come. Instead, he slowly nodded, while looking at you through his lashes.

You let your face be overcome by faux surprise and excitement and tilted your body forwards so that you could rest your head in your hands.

"Who is it." You cringed at the squeal in your voice, but you didn't let it show for the sake of your little act.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." There was a shift in his tone, and you were taken aback by the quick change in demeanor. You slowly leaned back with a scoff stuck in your throat.

Theodore suddenly felt uncomfortable by your sudden show of excitement and his stomach slowly sunk as his thoughts went haywire. It was obvious to him that you wouldn't show this excitement over who he might love, especially if you didn't know who. He pressed his lips together in misfortune and let himself get consumed by the failure and shame.

The letters weren't brought up again after that, and Theodore seemed to have dropped his strange attitude and gone back to his normal, brooding, and charming self. Although you couldn't shake off the feeling that something had changed with him, you just couldn't pinpoint what.

"No need to get so defending Nott. I was only asking." He scoffed lightly and began to back his letters into his robe.

Your butt had started to ache and it felt like the old tree bench had started to grow roots to you because of how long Oliver had been discussing tactics and positions and whatnot for the last hour. You understood that he wanted to win because you all did. But you didn't believe that sitting on your arses was the best way to prepare.

"Alright, let's wrap this up. Fred, George. You had something to say?" Slightly shifting on the bench, you watched as the twins switches places with Oliver and you exchanged glances with Angelina, but she didn't look like she knew what they were up to either.

"We would like, as a start for our speech, to get our lovely chaser (name) up on stage." Two hands grabbed the fabric of your red and gold clothes, and you yelped as you were roughly pulled up, and squished between the twins.

"That's what is suspected. And how convenient that our chaser has given us her hands." You started to protest in their grip as the small crowd four broke out in applause and jubilee. But before you were able to break out from their strong grip, they turned to you and blocked your way with their tall frames.

There was a silence before they began again."How many in here, would like a free broom service." The entire room stretched their hands up, and you started to suspect evil in their minds. But you let them continue for the sake of your sanity.

"If we win, you confess to your Slytherin man." You quickly opened your mouth to protest but as usual, you were quickly shut down. " And if you refuse, the night will be spent with six broomsticks instead of snogging with Nott." George finished Fred's sentence, and you squirmed at their bluntness and choice of words.

Their faces were a void of amusement, and you felt yourself being pushed into a corner. Both figuratively and literally.

"Alright fine. Fine! I'll do it. If this is the only way you'll leave my love life alone. I'll do it." You only mumbled the last part, the words being meant more as a personal encouragement.

That's why it came as a surprise that you could hear Theodore's sharp whistle through the autumn air.

They silently did their celebrations, high five and a little too hard slap on your back. And after five minutes, you were standing on the side of the court, swallowing down your nerves and waiting to step up on your brooms and start the game.

--

You watched in broad horror as Harry catches the snitch before the Hufflepuff did, your stomach turning itself inside out with nerves. You had seen Theodore in the crowd, and while it normally would make you giddy, it didn't go quite the same this time. The shouts and hollers of victory were ears deafening around you, and that combined with the buzz in your ears because your adrenalin rush made it hard for you to even hear your thoughts.

You found him standing on the edge of the stand, and when he saw that he had your attention, he gently waved you down to him with his hand. Almost immediately, you directed your broom down and stopped it so that you would be eye to eye with him.

"Hello." He was leaning against the wooden beam that was acting like a railing, with a small, sly smirk on his face.

"Hi." The shy smile on your face was uncontrollable, but you couldn't help it because you had never seen Theodore looking at you with such eyes.

"You did a good job out there."

"Why thank you." You answered bashfully. Theodore looked down on his armrest with a small smile, and began to slowly trace it with his fingers.

"You know, I never would've guessed that you could be such a poet." He watched your face twist in confusion.

You felt your body begin to warm, pushing away the autumn cold as hooded Theodore's eyes were locked with your lips.

"Sorry, but I'm no poet." You answered carefully, sensing what this was about. But you couldn't understand. He said that he didn't read the letters, and even if he did it later, it meant that it had only taken him one day to figure out who it was from. A gulp scratched your throat as Theodore's eyes began to travel away from yours. Like a soft caress, they raked over your face, from your brows to your soft cheek, ending on the cupid of your lips.

"You're a dick sometimes."

"Nott-." That's all of your warnings that you were able to get out before he placed a big open-mouthed kiss on your cold lips. At first, your entire body became rigid as a rock of surprise, until the other one of Theo's hands positioned itself on the back of your neck. A sound scaped the back of your throat as you started to relax against his lips, and you felt yourself getting lost in the feeling of ecstasy.

Now you were just confused. Your mouth hung open with unsaid words, but your brain seemed to have stopped training because of the stunning words that Theodore provided. He rolled his eyes, and you were beginning to get seriously annoyed at his cryptic behavior. Until he forcefully grabbed the collar of your red and gold clothing and pulled you towards him.

Theodore watched you with hooded eyes, feeling pleasure from only seeing your content face. But he had to pull away because he had been holding his breath ever since this morning.

So he gave a teasing lick with his tongue on your lower lip before he slowly pulled away. You tried to chase him with your lips, but the grip that he had on your shirt prevented you from so desperately locking your lips again.

"So you knew that it was my letters." You mumbled, watching him with slanted eyes.

He chuckled, and you were broken out of your bliss when he released you from his death grip. Both of your heads snapped towards the court when two surprisingly loud voices were heard whooping. Fred and George gave each other a high five again, and you shrank in embarrassment as you realized that your intimate moment with Theodore wasn't as secluded as you thought it was. When you looked at him as again, you realized that you had always cherished him. And that he would always have your soul and heart wrapped around his pinky, imbedded with his silver rings.

"I had no idea." He smiled lightly." As I said, I didn't want to read the letters until I knew that it was from the person that I wanted it to be."

You sighed loudly, your insides melting.

"You are adorable." Happily, you cupped his rosy cheeks and mushed them together to see his cute pout. He tried to struggle out of your grip, and when you let go of his cheeks he was glaring at you. But you didn't let yourself be fooled by his handsome face, instead trusting his blushing ears that he wasn't as opposed. And with a last peck in-between his eyebrows, you flew away as you wanted to get out of your sweaty clothes to later spend time with the young wizard and not cleaning brooms.

--

That's it, I have come to realise my inability to write a One shot under 5k. Bye.

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

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Steve rogers x reader

Category: Angst, fluff

Warnings: Description of an injury and blood, mentions of nausea, fainting

Summary: (Name) has never had the currant to tell Steve about the injuries, afraid of bothering him. Not realizing that it can backfire.

Words: 2.6 k

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(Name) loved Steve Rogers with her entire being, and she believed that every person she met felt the same. With his blue eyes, kind smile, and charisma. How he cared about every living, breathing thing around him.

But it didn't stop her from shutting down whenever he was irritated, mad, or even tense. Maybe it was because of past trauma, or that she simply didn't want to become the reason why he was mad. But every time he became like that, (Name) felt almost scared.

Not of him, of course, but scared that he don't want her near him. It has happened before with other people.

Which was why she was sitting in a corner of the quinjet, headphones over her ears as she tried to control the pain that bloomed like wildfire over her back.

It was an unsuccessful mission. And she knew Steve, like everybody else, hated unsuccessful missions. He was leaning against a wall, both arms crossed over his chest with a hard, stony look on his face. He didn't speak to anyone, stuck in his little world.

And she didn't want to be an inconvenience by whining about the flesh wound on her back. Especially if he hadn't noticed that she was in pain.

Either way, she planned on patching it up herself, and then going to bed, hoping that the storm would calm enough for the next day. And if she were feeling luxurious, she might even go to the med bay to get the wound checked on.

Except she hadn't planned on the fact that the wound was efficiently placed on her back, therefore making it out of reach for her to clean it. And she was way too exhausted to ask anyone else or to even care about the matter. So she grabbed the bandages and wrapped them around her chest and back, leaving it like that before turning off the lights in her bathroom and throwing herself headfirst in the bed.

Not knowing Steve lay on the other side of the wall, waiting for her to come and say goodnight.

--

The next morning, the ache in her back had gotten worse, and her left shoulder strained whenever she tried to move it. She needed to get to the med bay at least once today. But first, she required a big cup of coffee.

When she made it out to the sunlit kitchen, the pain in her back had spread. Now, her head ached just as much, and every time she turned too fast, black splotches would show.

And earlier, when she changed her bandages the blood had entirely seeped through, leaving it soaked in red. But the blood had been diluted with another liquid, which she found mildly concerning.

She poured herself the coffee that was left in the coffee machine and put it in the microwave since it was cold. And while she stood there waiting she noted that the kitchen was empty, which was strange to be at this time of the day.

"Jarvis? Do you mind telling me where everyone is?" She asked the AI.

"I believe that Mr. Wilson is still sleeping." She let out a humorous scoff." Mr. Stark and Mr. Banner are currently in the lab. Ms. Romanoff in the training areas with Mr. Rogers."

(Name)s ears perked at the mention of him, and her mind spiraled into calculating thoughts. "Did Steve already eat breakfast?"

"Yes. An omelet, made of three eggs and a cup of coffee, one teaspoon of sugar, and milk." A frown tugged at her face. Steve never ate breakfast without her. Unless they were fighting, which was a rare happening. Steve believed that the most important meal of the day was breakfast, and therefore always made sure that (Name) ate it with him. But so that he could have company, and also make sure that she ate enough.

"Alright then. Thank you, Jarvis." She smiled up to the roof, hoping that he could see her appreciativeness. Then she made a beeline back to her room with a downturn of her brow, planning to do paperwork before throwing herself into her, not so fantastic anymore, day. Completely forgetting her visit to the med bay.

--

Paperwork had always been a somewhat calming thing to do for her to relax, turn off her brain, and go on autopilot. Often when she was stressed, Steve found her with her nose in her computer typing away without any knowledge around her. It always worked.

Except for today.

The pain in her head only got worse after all the caffeine, and she couldn't lean back into her chair either because of her back. And not only that, but thoughts of Steve plagued her mind. And not the good, lovey-dovey thoughts. But instead, the toxic, poisoning thoughts were so loud that it was the only thing she heard.

She had no idea what to do about their situation. And she was really afraid that she had accidentally done something the day before to upset him, giving her a reason for his strange and unlike actions.

"Mr. Rogers would like me to alert you that there is a team meeting in the conference room in five minutes." She jumped in her chair and a small yelp left her lips as Jarvis spoke, making her back strain. And that made her wince painfully.

"I apologize. It was not my intention to frighten you." A grimace covered (Name)s face in an attempt to smile, and she carefully rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. I was just stuck in my head."

"How so?" And (Name) went quiet. She hadn't expected a question from him.

"Nothing special." She absentmindedly hummed for an answer, and that seemed to get Jarvis less curious.

"If you say so. 3 minutes left." And with that, she quickly grabbed her things and bolted out of her quarters, right towards the elevator.

--

She turned out to arrive just in time as Fury was about to close the door, and she quickly slithered in, choosing a stool at the back of the table so that she wouldn't get questioning eyes on her. When she entered she could feel Steves's's stare burning into her skin, but she doesn't have the time nor thought to greet him, which would perhaps leave consequences for later. But now she just longed to sit down before she fainted.

She didn't even notice when Fury started speaking because blood was rushing through her ears, and beads of sweat ran down her neck, sending a shiver through her ice-cold and fire-hot body. It was like she running a fever in an ice bath. She dared to subtly raise a shaking hand towards her back, slightly touching the wound, only to have to suppress a wince and bring back blood-stained fingers.

She was at least wearing black.

Her attention shifted when Fury changed places with Steve, and let him take his place in the front. It was hard to know if she found it either positive or negative.

Positive because she could focus on something that brought her calm, and hear his voice instead of the roar in her ears. Focus on his plack t-shirt and nice fitting jeans, which was something he didn't wear often. How soft hir hair looked and his pink , kissable lips.

Negative because now he could see how colorless her face had become, along with a thin cover of sweat by her throat and her lifeless tired eyes.

And perhaps it made Steve speak a tad bit faster, and perhaps he skipped over some of the parts he was supposed to introduce. But it looked like his girlfriend was dying, and Fury didn't need to know that his two most capable agents were in a relationship.

He could her heartbeat picking up more and more as he spoke, and it was a relief for him when he could finally dismiss the team.

She slowly stood up as the rest of them collected their things and one by one filed out. But she couldn't do anything as quickly as she liked, not even walk. She had no choice but to take a tight grip on the chairs lined up, and use them as crutches.

And when Steve turned his back to gather a pile of papers, she took a breath, straightened her back, and took two quick steps towards the door. But Steve heard the increase of speed in her steps in quickly caught her arms in a fierce grip, stopping her from escaping.

"Damn it." She mumbled, making sure that Steve couldn't hear her. And then she turned her head to meet Steves's's eye, trying to look as normal as possible, which didn't trick Steve at all. Only made him more concerned.

"You alright?" He let both of his hands smooth over her shoulders and arms, looking at her with those blue, affectionate eyes.

"Mhm!" She hummed, trying to sound as carefree as possible while plastering a smile on her face. But he didn't look convinced. Not at all.

He let his left hand travel up to her cheek, and he was about to say something. But when his palm touched her cheek, he flinched and removed his palm to see that it was damp.

"Steve-" She warned, but it was no idea. He had already raised his sleeve and laid his wrist over her forehead. And she couldn't protest because his wrist was oh so warm while she had been freezing and sweating cold ever since she entered the room.

"You're burning." It didn't feel like she was.

"Are you sick?" He asked, a frown on his face as she felt for her temperature. "Why haven't you said anything?"He scolded, and she shrunk into herself as his hands continued to investigate her. Until his hand came in contact with her wound. And she recoiled away from his hand, trying to get as far away from the pain as possible. Tears gathered in her eyes at the fire in her back, and she glued them shut as she tried to let it pass.

Steve brought his hand up to see when he felt something on the tips of his fingers, and his eyes widened in horror. There was a vermillion stain on his fingers, running down his hand. And (Name) saw both concern and panic as he looked down at her, as she was now leaning against his chest, too tired to stand on her own.

"I'm fine, promise." She said, lime on autopilot.

"We need to get you to a doctor." He insisted, about to take her under the knees and carry her there. But the second he tried to m, she leaned away.

And the guilt was there again. Steves tired but pretty face showed concern and panic, but she wasn't supposed to make him concerned and panic. As his partner, she was there to make him calm, happy, and satisfied. Sure, if Steve would hide a wound like this one from her, she would be livid. But that's hardly classed as the same thing.

"It's fine Steve, I'm sure I can get there me."

He scoffed and looked almost hurt.

"No, you're not going anywhere yourself. Not by how you're looking"

A protest lay prepared on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't get further than opening her mouth before a strong wave of nausea and dizziness washed over her body. And she swayed, once, twice, before her footing came undone, and she lost all sense of balance.

And it felt like she fell into a warm pillow, or perhaps she was just delirious. But it truly resembled a warm, fluffy pillow. And she snuggled into it, ignoring the distant calls of her (Name). And Steve's breath got caught in his throat when he saw her closing her eyes in his arms.

--

Steve was aware that something was nagging his lover's mind, and he had been aware of it during the last week. It was like she walked on eggshells around him and it bothered him. Because something bothered her. Something about him bothered her.

He hadn't done anything differently, not that he was aware of. He hadn't said anything either. And he liked to think that he had a great memory.

And he still couldn't figure out why she didn't tell him about her injury. Banner had told him that she was lucky that the infections in her wound hadn't reached any further. But Steve had a hard time seeing anything positive with the situation at all.

Duobts clouded his mind and made it hard to think straight. How could he know that she hadn't hidden other injuries that she could've gotten?

As if her mind was connected to his, as if she heard his self-deprecating thoughts, she came to her senses and let out a long and low groan, snapping Steve out of his head.

He quickly discarded his block and pencil to the side, leaving the drawing on the small table by the side before crouching down to her height.

"(Name)?" He dared to ask, and his heart felt lighter when he saw her eyelids twitch in response. A sigh left her dry lips before her eyelids slowly cracked open and presented themselves to Steve, giving him a confirmation that she was there with him.

"Steve." It came as a breath, her voice warm with love as she saw the familiar face.

As light as a feather, he let his fingertips ghost along her temples, repeating the momentum over and over again. Her eyelids relaxed, and Steve's back tensed as she once again closed her eyes. But (Name) could feel his muscle become rigid, and let her hand gently enclose steves wrist, running circles on his inner arm as comfort. As she always did.

"Why didn't you tell me?" An audible sigh sounded from her mouth, and for a moment Steve was afraid that he had annoyed her. But her fingertips were still dancing along the expense of his arm, and he let that comfort him. Although, she didn't provide him with an answer.

"You can trust me. I want you to trust me." He reassured her, and vulnerability spilled through his voice. He grabbed her other hand that rested on her stomach, entangling their fingers.

"I do trust you." She hoarsely whispered, throat dry and mouth like sandpaper.

But when she forced her eyes open, Steve looked at her, unconvinced.

"Then why? Why didn't you tell me that you were in pain?"

She wanted to bathe in the softness of his voice. Get nurtured by it, drink it, and stay by the sound to the end of time. The fondness, bonded with her worrying, guilty, and anxious emotions from before created bittersweet sparks under her skin. And it took form as a watery mist, covering her live full irises.

"I do trust you, but I don't want to be a nuisance to you." She painfully admitted and laid her hand on his cheek as a peace offering." You work so hard to succeed Steve, so hard that when you don't succeed, you become very tense. I don't want to be there to make you even tenser."

He shut his eyes tightly and nuzzled his cheek further into her palm, and a drop of water fell from his eye, rolling down his summer-tinted cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Worry etched in her brows, but he only shook his head.

"I made you think that you would be a burden to me whenever I felt a negative emotion." She shook her head, already beginning her protest." A partner is not supposed to do that (Name)."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Steve, it was not on you. You didn't make me feel like a burden. I did. And I'm sorry for not telling you about my injury." She smiled sadly at him when he kissed her palm.

"I want to take care of you, and comfort you. I want to be that person to you, so let me be that the next time." And she could only nodd, her heart being free from the shackles of heavy emotions. Instead, she felt light as a feather.

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My requests are open;););;);)