Lorenzo Zurzolo - Tumblr Posts

Sneak peek

A/N: so guys i decided to post part two of 'Love' the way i planned to. Imma post the fifth year parts and the next part will contain the 6th year, I js didn't want you to wait so long. I ain't romanticizing that shit, I js think that these are be of their past and lore, and a few of the things were also requested really often so l tried to work it out

And guys after the fourth year will be way more angst and serious things, you could say that it's going downhill from now on

TW: huge trigger warning, there will be mentions of ED, SA and alcohol, a little bit angst (I don't know if that's a trigger)

Fifth Year: The burden of Silence

The pressure of fifth year weighed heavily on Y/N. The intensity of preparing for O.W.L.s was suffocating, and she found herself drowning in expectations—her own, her parents', and those of her professors. The need to be perfect gnawed at her, and soon, she began slipping into old, destructive habits.

She skipped meals, convincing herself it was the only way to stay focused, to keep control. Her friends noticed her growing fatigue, but Y/N deflected their concern with practiced ease. Even Mattheo, with his perceptive eyes and gentle concern, couldn’t penetrate the walls she’d built around herself.

But he watched. He saw the way her clothes began to hang loosely on her frame, the way she avoided the Great Hall during meals, the hollow look in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. He tried to talk to her, but she brushed him off with forced smiles and reassurances that everything was fine.

One evening, as they sat in the Slytherin common room, Y/N’s hand trembled as she scribbled notes. Mattheo, sitting across from her, couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice filled with concern. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. You need to take care of yourself.”

She looked up, her eyes tired but defiant. “I’m fine, Mattheo. Just stressed about the exams.”

“Skipping meals isn’t going to help,” he replied, his tone firmer now.

She flinched, the truth of his words hitting her like a blow. “I said I’m fine,” she repeated, but her voice wavered.

He didn’t push further that night, but his worry only deepened.

As the weeks passed, Y/N’s condition worsened. She was constantly exhausted, her skin pale and gaunt. Mattheo’s heart ached every time he looked at her. He felt helpless, desperate to do something, anything, to pull her back from the edge.

One night, unable to sleep, Mattheo decided to take a walk. As he wandered the dimly lit corridors, he found himself drawn to the kitchens. He paused when he saw a familiar figure sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, her knees drawn to her chest. It was Y/N, her face buried in her hands.

“Y/N,” he called softly, approaching her. “What are you doing here?”

She looked up, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

His heart broke at the sight of her. He knelt beside her, gently pulling her hands away from her face. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she choked out. “I’m so tired, Mattheo. I’m so tired of pretending everything is fine.”

“You don’t have to pretend,” he said softly. “Not with me.”

She shook her head, her tears falling faster. “I’m scared, Mattheo. I don’t know how to stop.”

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. “You’re not alone. We’ll figure this out together, okay?”

In the days that followed, Mattheo stayed close to Y/N, watching her with an intensity that made her uncomfortable. She knew he meant well, but the guilt of worrying him only added to her burden.

One afternoon, they sat by the Black Lake, the cool breeze ruffling their robes. Mattheo decided it was time to confront her about her eating disorder.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” he began, his voice steady but filled with concern.

She glanced at him, her eyes wary. “About what?”

“About what’s really going on,” he said, not backing down. “I know you’re struggling, and I want to help.”

She looked away, her hands clenching into fists. “I don’t know how to stop,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I feel like I’m losing control.”

“You’re not losing control,” he said firmly. “You’re just struggling, and that’s okay. But you need help, Y/N. More help than I can give.”

Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. “I don’t want anyone to know. They’ll think I’m weak.”

“You’re not weak,” he said fiercely, his hands trembling as he reached for hers. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. But even the strongest people need help sometimes.”

She looked at him, her eyes filled with desperation. “What if I can’t get better?”

“You will,” he said, his voice breaking. “You have to believe that. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

The road to recovery was anything but easy. Y/N began seeing a healer, a process that was both painful and necessary. She had to confront the deep-rooted fears and insecurities that had driven her to this point. It was a struggle, but she wasn’t alone. Mattheo was there, his support unwavering.

There were days when it felt like too much, when Y/N wanted to give up. But Mattheo wouldn’t let her. He was her anchor, her constant, and she drew strength from his presence.

One evening, as they sat in the Slytherin common room, Y/N looked at Mattheo, her eyes filled with gratitude and something deeper. “I don’t know how to thank you,” she said softly. “For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied, his eyes warm. “I’m just glad you’re getting better.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, her voice trembling. “You’ve been my strength.”

He shook his head. “No, Y/N. You’re the strong one. You’re fighting this battle, and you’re winning.”

She smiled, a genuine smile that reached her eyes. “We’re strong together.”

He reached out, taking her hand in his. “And we’ll get through this. One step at a time.”

As they sat there, hand in hand, Y/N felt a sense of hope she hadn’t felt in a long time. The road to recovery was long and difficult, but with Mattheo by her side, she believed they could face anything together..

---

Fifth Year: Yule Ball Shadows

The Yule Ball was a spectacle of light and music, a temporary reprieve from the pressures of school. The Great Hall had been transformed into a winter wonderland, with twinkling fairy lights and shimmering icicles hanging from the enchanted ceiling. Y/N, dressed in an elegant emerald-green gown that matched her Slytherin house colors, felt a rare excitement bubbling inside her as she entered the hall with her friends.

For a while, the night was perfect. She laughed, danced, and felt like a normal teenager, not the girl struggling with the weight of expectations and the shadows of her own mind. Mattheo, ever the watchful friend, had been by her side most of the evening, his presence a comforting constant.

But as the night wore on, things began to change. Y/N had separated from Mattheo to get some fresh air, needing a break from the noise and the crowd. She wandered into a quieter corridor, the sounds of the ball fading behind her.

Y/N leaned against a wall, taking deep breaths to calm herself. The silence was a relief, but it didn't last long. A group of older students, clearly having had too much to drink, stumbled upon her. Their eyes were filled with a predatory gleam that made her skin crawl.

"Hey, look who we have here," one of them slurred, a twisted grin on his face. "A pretty little Slytherin all alone."

Y/N tried to sidestep them, but another blocked her path. "What’s the rush? Stay and chat with us."

She could feel panic rising in her chest. "I need to get back," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

One of them grabbed her arm, holding her in place. "Oh, come on. Don't be like that."

Her heart raced as she struggled to free herself. "Let go of me!"

But they didn't listen. Instead, they laughed, the sound cruel and mocking. Tears of frustration and fear welled up in her eyes as she realized she was trapped.

Meanwhile, Mattheo had noticed Y/N’s absence and felt a knot of worry tighten in his stomach. He excused himself from his conversation with Draco and Pansy and went in search of her. When he heard voices echoing down a distant corridor, he quickened his pace.

The sight that greeted him made his blood boil. Y/N was pressed against the wall, her eyes wide with fear, and those bastards were laughing at her distress. Without a second thought, Mattheo stormed over, his anger palpable.

"Get your hands off her," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

The group turned, sneering at the interruption. "And who do you think you are?" one of them taunted.

"Someone who's going to make you regret touching her," Mattheo snapped, his fists clenched.

One of the boys stepped forward, trying to intimidate Mattheo. "Big words. Let's see if you can back them up."

Before the boy could react, Mattheo's fist connected with his jaw, sending him sprawling to the floor. The others hesitated for a moment, then lunged at Mattheo. It was a chaotic, brutal fight. Mattheo was outnumbered, but his rage fueled him, giving him strength and speed. He fought with a ferocity that stunned his opponents, landing blow after blow.

Y/N watched in shock and horror as Mattheo defended her. She wanted to help, but fear rooted her to the spot. The fight was over quickly. The boys, now bloodied and bruised, staggered away, muttering threats and curses.

Breathing heavily, Mattheo turned to Y/N. His knuckles were split and bleeding, but his concern was solely on her. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice softer now.

She nodded, tears streaming down her face. "I-I think so. Mattheo, I’m so sorry."

He stepped closer, wiping her tears gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn’t your fault."

"But you got hurt because of me," she whispered, her voice breaking.

He shook his head. "I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I won’t let anyone hurt you, Y/N. Not ever."

She threw her arms around him, sobbing into his chest. He held her tightly, his own heart breaking at her pain. "It’s okay," he murmured. "You’re safe now. I’ve got you."

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms. Eventually, Mattheo pulled back slightly, looking into her eyes. "Let’s get out of here. We’ll go somewhere safe."

She nodded, trusting him completely. As they walked back to the Great Hall, Mattheo kept a protective arm around her, his presence a shield against the world.

---

Later that night, after Y/N had fallen asleep in the safety of her dormitory, Mattheo sat by her side, watching over her. The events of the evening replayed in his mind, and a fierce determination settled in his heart. He would protect her, no matter the cost. She was more than a friend to him, and he would fight for her, always.

A/N: here’s the rest bitches, the end isn’t quite what I was planning on, but yeah

TW: SH, inclined depression

Part 3 and final of Love

6th Year: Bonds Strengthened

As the sixth year at Hogwarts began, Y/N noticed subtle shifts in Mattheo's demeanor. There were moments when his usually composed façade cracked, revealing glimpses of inner turmoil that tugged at her heart. It was during one of those crisp autumn evenings, as golden leaves carpeted the grounds, that Y/N found Mattheo staring pensively into the Black Lake.

She approached him cautiously, mindful of his tendency to withdraw into himself when troubled. "Mattheo?" she called softly, her voice cutting through the quiet of the evening.

Mattheo turned to her, a faint smile flickering across his face before it vanished into a mask of uncertainty. "Hey," he greeted, his voice tinged with a hint of weariness.

Y/N sat down beside him, feeling the chill of the evening seep through her robes. "Are you alright?" she asked gently, her eyes searching his face for answers.

Mattheo hesitated, his gaze dropping to the rippling surface of the lake. "I... I don't know," he admitted finally, his voice barely audible above the gentle lapping of the water.

Concern etched across her features, Y/N reached out tentatively and placed a hand on his arm. "You can talk to me, Mattheo," she encouraged, her voice a soothing whisper.

For a long moment, Mattheo remained silent, as if grappling with his thoughts. "Sometimes, it's like... like I'm drowning," he confessed quietly, his eyes dark with unspoken emotions. "I try to keep it all together, but some days... it's just too much. There are things that I can’t tell anyone, Y/N, anyone…”

Y/N's heart clenched at his words. She had sensed Mattheo's inner struggle for a while now, his battles hidden beneath layers of composure. "You don't have to face this alone," she assured him softly, her voice filled with empathy. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Mattheo looked at her then, his eyes searching hers for something she couldn't quite name. "Thank you, but no one can help me" he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Y/N smiled gently, squeezing his arm in reassurance. "I could never give up on you, Mattheo," she said earnestly. "I am by your side."

In the weeks that followed, Y/N found herself drawn deeper into Mattheo's world. They spent hours by the Black Lake, talking late into the night about their hopes, fears, and dreams. Mattheo gradually began opening up to her, sharing fragments of his past that he had kept hidden for so long.

One evening in the library, Y/N stumbled upon Mattheo poring over an old volume on Dark Arts. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his fingers tracing ancient runes on the yellowed pages. She approached him quietly, taking a seat beside him without a word.

"What are you reading?" she asked softly, breaking the silence that hung between them.

Mattheo glanced up, startled by her presence before his expression softened. "Just... trying to understand," he admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Y/N nodded understandingly. She knew Mattheo's fascination with the Dark Arts stemmed from a desire to comprehend the darker aspects of magic, perhaps as a way to confront his own demons.

"Sometimes, understanding doesn't come from books," she offered gently, her gaze meeting his. "Sometimes, it comes from within."

Mattheo regarded her for a long moment, as if weighing her words. "You make it sound so simple," he remarked, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"It's not simple," Y/N acknowledged, her voice tinged with empathy. "But you don't have to navigate this alone. We're in this together, remember?"

A flicker of gratitude crossed Mattheo's features before he nodded slowly. "Together," he echoed softly, the word carrying a weight that resonated deep within Y/N's heart.

One stormy evening in early November, Y/N found herself pacing the Slytherin common room, her thoughts consumed with Mattheo. She knew he had been distant lately, retreating into solitude more frequently than usual. It worried her, the way he withdrew into himself whenever the weight of his past threatened to overwhelm him.

Unable to sit still any longer, Y/N made her way to Mattheo's dormitory. She found him sitting by the window, gazing out at the rain-soaked grounds with a haunted expression. Without a word, she took a seat beside him, drawing her knees to her chest as she watched the rain cascade down the glass panes.

"Mattheo," she began softly, breaking the silence that enveloped them. "Talk to me."

Mattheo sighed heavily, his gaze never leaving the storm raging outside.

“Mattheo, I know something is wrong, please, tell me, I am worried about you, and it’s breaking my heart to see you like this and not being able to help.”, Y/N says quietly.

He stays quiet for a moment, taking in the moonlight and the sound of the rain meeting the ground.

He looks at her for a brief moment, trying not to avoid her gaze.

Y/N can already see the pain and the trouble in his eyes, they look more empty than filled with life, they look hopeless, given up, and lost.

She puts her hand on his wrist to make him look at her, but she just flinches and tries to pull back his wrists.

Her face drops and she quickly rolls up his sleeve.

Y/Ns breath hitches, his wrist is covered in scars.

Mattheo stays quiet, waiting for a reaction, waiting for her face to scrunch up in disgust, knowing that she can’t see blood or wounds.

But she stays quiet, she doesn’t speak for the next few minutes, his wrist still in her hand and exposed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, she asks him, her voice is breaking slightly.

“That’s the thing that I wasn’t able to tell.”, he says hallow and quietly.

Y/N's heart clenched at his words, the raw honesty in his voice piercing through her own defenses.

"Why?" she asked gently, her voice filled with tenderness.

Mattheo hesitated, struggling to find the right words. "It was... a way to cope," he confessed, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I felt like I deserved the pain, that it was the only way to release what I was feeling inside. Or maybe it’s the only way to feel anything.

Y/N reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. "You don't deserve pain, Mattheo," she said firmly, her voice unwavering. "You deserve healing, happiness... love."

For a moment, Mattheo closed his eyes, allowing her touch to soothe his turmoil. He had never imagined someone could look at him with such compassion, such unconditional understanding. It scared him, yet it also filled him with a sense of warmth he hadn't felt in years.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "I'm sorry for everything."

Y/N shook her head gently. "You have nothing to apologize for," she assured him. "You're not alone anymore, Mattheo. We're in this together."

Mattheo's gaze met hers, and in that moment, he knew he had found a lifeline in Y/N. She wasn't just a friend or a confidante; she was his beacon of hope, guiding him through the stormy seas of his past.

---

---

6th Year: Y/N's Unexpected Birthday Celebration

The days leading up to Y/N's 17th birthday were unremarkable, filled with the usual routines of classes, homework, and the occasional mischief in Slytherin House. Y/N had no inkling that her friends were planning something special, especially not Pansy, who had been unusually secretive.

On the evening of her birthday, Y/N found herself alone in the Slytherin common room, engrossed in revising for an upcoming Transfiguration exam. The common room was unusually quiet, most of her housemates having retreated to their dormitories or the library.

Suddenly, Pansy burst through the door with an exaggerated huff, as if she had been running.

"Y/N!" Pansy exclaimed, breathless but grinning mischievously. "Come with me!"

Y/N looked up, surprised. "Where are we going?"

Pansy wagged a finger in Y/N's direction. "No questions! Just come on!"

Intrigued and a little apprehensive, Y/N set aside her books and followed Pansy through the corridors of Hogwarts. Pansy led her through secret passageways and winding staircases until they reached the seventh floor corridor, where Pansy halted in front of a nondescript stretch of wall.

"Close your eyes," Pansy instructed, her voice barely containing her excitement.

Y/N complied, wondering what Pansy had planned. She heard Pansy muttering under her breath, and then the cold stone beneath her fingers shifted, revealing a sturdy wooden door.

"Okay, open them!" Pansy declared.

Y/N opened her eyes and stepped through the doorway into a scene that took her breath away. The Room of Requirement had been transformed into a cozy haven, bathed in soft candlelight and adorned with green and silver decorations. Plush sofas and armchairs were arranged in a circle, a long table overflowing with cakes, pastries, and an array of drinks stood in the center, and enchanted music filled the air with a soothing melody.

Surrounded by her Slytherin friends - Draco, Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and even Lorenzo - Y/N felt a rush of warmth and gratitude. They cheered in unison, "Happy birthday, Y/N!"

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise and joy. She turned to Pansy, speechless. "You did all this?"

Pansy grinned broadly. "For you, of course! Now come on, let's celebrate!"

As the evening unfolded, Y/N found herself immersed in laughter and conversations with her friends, the warmth of their camaraderie filling her with a sense of belonging. Mattheo, sitting quietly beside her, watched the festivities with a small smile playing on his lips. He had helped Pansy organize everything, though his mind seemed preoccupied with something else.

Later that night, after the cakes had been devoured and the laughter had softened into contented chatter, Y/N found herself seated next to Mattheo on a plush loveseat tucked away in a secluded corner of the room. The soft glow of candlelight cast gentle shadows across his features, highlighting the thoughtful expression on his face.

"Thank you," Y/N said softly, breaking the quiet moment between them. "For helping with the party, and for being here."

Mattheo glanced at her, his eyes warm with a mixture of fondness and something deeper that he couldn't quite name. "Of course," he replied quietly. "I wanted to make sure you had a good birthday."

"You always do," Y/N teased gently. "Even when you pretend not to care."

Mattheo chuckled softly, his gaze dropping to his hands. "I'm not very good at pretending," he admitted, his voice tinged with self-deprecation.

Y/N reached out, gently nudging his shoulder. "You don't have to pretend with me," she said softly, her tone gentle yet firm. "I know you care, Mattheo. And I appreciate everything you do."

Their eyes met, and in that moment, unspoken words hung in the air between them - words of gratitude, understanding, and a growing connection that defied the challenges they faced individually.

As the night wore on and their friends continued to revel in the warmth of their shared celebration, Y/N and Mattheo remained in their quiet corner, content to simply be together. In the flickering candlelight and the soft strains of music, they found solace in each other's presence, their bond strengthened by the shared moments that bound them together.

After a few hours, they all go back to Y/Ns dorm and decide to play the game of truth or dare.

It starts off basic with Theodore asking Draco, what professor he would fire if he could, or Pansy having to ask a random student to use their toilet.

But later on the questions and dares get more interesting and unserious.

It may be because of the alcohol in their blood, or maybe because it’s two in the morning.

Questions like; ‘Blaise, what professor would you take back to your dorm for the night?’, or; ‘Lorenzo, I dare you to kiss Pansy’, which made Theodore chlench his jaw, while Pansy enjoyed seeing him jealous.

After a while, everyone was either to drunk, to tired, or both to talk.

Pansy was the only one awake and admired the beauty of Theodore before she noticed

Y/N sleeping on Mattheo’s chest.

She giggled quietly and pulled out her mugge camera, that she got from London and took a picture.

(Picture at the end)

---

7th year: The necklace

Y/N is sitting quietly at the black lake, enjoying the silence and the comfort of the night.

Every time she wasn’t feeling well, one could find her here or at Mattheos, when she wasn’t to find at Mattheo’s, you know something is troubling her.

Y/N is sitting on the ground, her back pressed up against a tree, the tree where her and Mattheos names were carved in.

They promised each other to stay friends for ever that day.

She smiles slightly at the memory of it.

And then she starts crying.

Her eyes fill with tears and she can’t seem to stop sobbing. Her throat hurts and makes her feel like suffocating.

“Fuck me”, she says angrily and tries to stop her sobs.

“My pleasure”, says a familiar voice behind her.

“Shut up”, she giggles and sobs at the same time and turns around to face Mattheo.

His smirk drops as he sees her face and hears her sobs.

“What happened? Did someone do something?”, he asks her and quickly kneels down next to her.

“No”, Y/N cries softly, with a little smile on her lips.

“Then why are you crying?”, Mattheo sits down next to her and grabs her chin to make her look at him.

“It’s just..- that I am very, very angry”, she cries as her smile fades again.

Mattheo eyes soften and quickly hugs her.

“What happened?”, he asks her softly while stroking her hair.

“I-.. I am sorry, please don’t be mad..”, she says quietly in his arms.

Mattheo starts to get concerned and his mind starts to wander to the worst case scenarios.

“Did someone touch you Y/N?”, he asks her now completely serious.

“God, no.. it’s not like that..”, she says now more relaxed.

“I promise I won’t be mad, but please just tell me you are scaring me.”

Y/N crawls out of Mattheos embrace and faces him.

“I lost the necklace you bought me”, she says to him. Her face seems devastated and ashamed.

“God Y/N, i thought something happened. Don’t fucking scare me like that.”, he exhales.

“I’m sorry”, she says now with a little smile etched across her face.

“Which one was it?”, he asks her.

“The little red heart one, I loved it so much and I don’t know how I lost it, but it just wasn’t around my neck anymore.”, she whines.

Mattheo smiles and nods.

“C’mon, let’s go back, you can stay at mine if you want to.”, he says as they start to walk back to the castle.

—-

The next day Y/N wakes up in Mattheos bed, but he isn’t lying next to her. She quickly checks the bathroom to see if he is in there but the bathroom is empty.

She quickly changes and runs out of the boy’s dormitory area and looks for Pansy.

She spots her sitting in the common room and quickly walks towards her.

Her cheeks are flushed from all the running.

“Hey Pans.”, she says as she plops in the couch next to her.

“God damn, did you guys fuck?”, Pansy asks with her eyes wide open.

“What?! No! Why?!”, Y/N asks her startled by Pansy and looks at her confused.

“Well first of all, I saw you last night going to Mattheos dorm with him, and second of all your cheeks are flushed red, you smell like him, and your hair is a mess. And I don’t think I need to point out his shirt that you are wearing.”, she giggles.

“God no, I was just sleeping over at his, I swear! He is my best friend Pansy!”, Y/N laughs.

“Yeah yeah..”, Pansy says sarcastically with a smirk on her lips.

“You don’t believe me? Look, no hickeys..”, she says and shows Pansy her neck.

“Okay okay, i was joking, I believe you.”, Pansy smiles.

“But you gotta admit that he is a little bit more than your best friend, hm?”, she giggles as she sees Y/N mouth wide open and quickly runs away from her.

“Pansy I am going to kill you”, she laughs while she quickly stands up to chase Pansy.

“BUT YOU ARE NOT DENYING IT”, Pansy yells while running away.

———

On the same night, Y/N is sitting on her bed and going through the pages of her new book, that she stole from Mattheos dorm.

Suddenly she heard a knock on her door.

Huh, it’s pretty late.

She quickly stood up and opened the door, just to see Mattheo standing at the doorway, his smile seemed to reach his ears.

“Hey”, he says and steps inside.

“Hey”, smiles Y/N and sits back on her bed.

“Where were you all day? I was looking for you.”, she says as she watches Mattheo sit on the other side of her bed.

“What, it’s Saturday, which means no classes, am I not allowed to have my free time?”, he asks her sarcastically.

Y/N rolls her eyes and smiles.

“I’ve got something for you”, he says before Y/N can even start a conversation.

“Okay? What is it?”, she ask him curiously.

“Close your eyes first”, he says and grins like a little chill that’s about to get ice cream.

Y/N giggles and closes her eyes.

“Put your hands out”

Y/N does as he says.

“Now open your eyes again”

Y/N quickly opens her eyes, just to see her lost necklace in her hands.

“NO WAY”, Y/N gasps loudly.

“You found it?!”, she smiles widely.

“Yup, let me put it on for you.”, he says and Y/N turns her back towards him, so he can put it on.

Mattheo puts on the necklace while she was holding her hair out of the way.

“That’s it”, he says and Y/N quickly jumps up to look at the mirror.

“God I love you”, she says as she quickly runs back to Mattheo and hugs him.

“Thank you so much”, she says and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

“No problem, love”

—————

Seventh Year: The Breaking Point

The pressure of their final year at Hogwarts weighed heavily on Y/N and Mattheo, each day blurring into the next under the mounting stress of NEWTs and the impending uncertainty of their futures. The bond between them had grown, but with it came an intensity that neither of them fully understood.

Y/N sat by the Black Lake, her breath visible in the cold winter air. The letter from home lay crumpled in her hand, the words etched into her mind. Her parents’ expectations were crushing, their disappointment palpable even through the parchment. She felt like she was suffocating under their demands, the weight of their hopes pressing down on her chest.

Mattheo found her there, as he often did, his presence both a comfort and a source of turmoil. He could see the tension in her posture, the way her shoulders were hunched as if trying to protect herself from the world.

“Y/N,” he called softly, approaching her. She didn’t turn, but he saw the way her hand tightened around the letter. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” she whispered, the word barely audible. “I can’t do this anymore, Mattheo. I’m failing them.”

Mattheo sat beside her, the silence stretching between them. He understood that feeling all too well—the suffocating pressure to meet expectations, to be someone you’re not. But he also knew that Y/N was stronger than she believed.

“You’re not failing, Y/N,” he said, his voice firm. “You’re doing the best you can.”

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s not enough. It’s never enough.”

He reached out, hesitating for a moment before placing his hand over hers. “You are enough,” he said quietly. “To me, you’re more than enough.”

Her breath hitched, and she finally looked at him. The raw emotion in her eyes mirrored his own, a mix of fear, frustration, and something deeper, something they were both afraid to acknowledge.

Winter descended upon Hogwarts, bringing with it a sense of isolation that mirrored Y/N’s internal turmoil. The castle, usually a place of comfort, felt like a prison, its walls closing in on her. She withdrew from her friends, from her studies, and most painfully, from Mattheo.

Mattheo noticed the change immediately. She no longer sought him out, no longer confided in him. The distance between them grew, an invisible barrier that neither knew how to break. It was killing him to see her like this, to see her slipping away.

One evening, after a particularly grueling day of classes, Mattheo found her in the Astronomy Tower. She was staring out at the night sky, her expression vacant.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice strained. “What’s happening to you? To us?”

She didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge his presence. The silence was unbearable, a chasm that seemed to widen with each passing second.

“Talk to me,” he pleaded, stepping closer. “Please.”

She turned to him, and he saw the darkness in her eyes, the despair that she had been hiding. “I can’t, Mattheo,” she said, her voice breaking. “I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much.”

“What hurts?” he demanded, frustration and desperation mixing in his tone. “Tell me, Y/N. Let me help you.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “You can’t help me, Mattheo. No one can.”

His own emotions surged, anger and helplessness boiling over. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to hurt? To feel like you’re drowning?” He pulled up his sleeve, revealing the scars that marred his skin. “This is how I cope, Y/N. This is how I survive. But it’s killing me, just like this is killing you.”

Her eyes widened, shock and pain reflected in her gaze. “Mattheo...”

“I’m not asking for your pity,” he snapped, his voice rough. “I’m asking you to let me in. To let me help you, even if it’s just by being here.”

She looked away, the weight of his words sinking in. “I don’t know how to let you in,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper.

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he said, his tone softening. “But you have to let me try.”

The vulnerability in his eyes, the raw honesty, broke something inside her. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and wrapped her arms around him. It was a tentative embrace, but it was a start.

The days that followed were a struggle. Y/N and Mattheo navigated their way through their pain, their connection deepening even as it was tested. But the tension between them remained, an undercurrent of unresolved emotions.

One night, after a particularly brutal argument over something trivial, Mattheo stormed out of the common room. Y/N, driven by a mix of anger and fear, followed him. She found him in the courtyard, the cold night air matching the chill between them.

“Why do you always run away?” she demanded, her voice shaking. “Why can’t you just stay and fight?”

“Because fighting is all I know,” he shot back, his eyes blazing. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true,” she argued, stepping closer. “You’re good at so much more. You’re good at making me feel like I’m not alone. You’re good at making me feel...”

“Feel what?” he interrupted, his voice rising. “Like I am worth something? Like I matter?”

“Yes,” she shouted, the word echoing in the courtyard. “Because you do matter to me, Mattheo. More than anyone else.”

The intensity of her confession hung in the air, a tangible force between them. Mattheo stared at her, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

“Don’t you see?” she continued, her voice breaking. “You’re not just a fighter. You’re my friend. My...”

The words caught in her throat, the unspoken truth hanging between them. Mattheo’s eyes softened, the anger giving way to something deeper, something more vulnerable.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“Of losing you,” he admitted, the raw honesty in his words piercing her heart. “Of never being enough for you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she closed the distance between them. “You’re already enough, Mattheo. You always have been.”

He reached out, his hand trembling as he cupped her face. “Then why does it feel like we’re both falling apart?”

“Because we are,” she whispered, her tears mingling with his. “But maybe we can fall apart together.”

The kiss that followed was a desperate, anguished thing, a culmination of their pain and longing. It wasn’t gentle or sweet; it was raw and intense, a release of everything they had been holding back. As their lips met, the world around them seemed to fade, leaving only the two of them, bound by their brokenness.

In that moment, they found a fragile solace in each other’s arms, a tentative hope that maybe, just maybe, they could weather the storm together. The journey ahead was uncertain, filled with challenges and pain, but for the first time, they faced it not as individuals, but as a united front.

And that made all the difference.

---

We both knew.

Pairing: Mattheo x Reader

TW: black out, drugs, a little bit of angst?,lmk if there’s anything else

A/N: y’all I haven’t checked for any mistakes so, I’m sorry for that. And I recommend listening to ‘Where’s my love’ cus I was listening to it while I wrote this. So yeah.

LISTEN. TO. IT. 🤺🤺🤺

Also this is in Matt’s POV

We both knew.

I remember the first time I heard you laugh. Not the little by the side laugh. But the one, when you are genuinen.

We were both sitting at the black lake. It was night. I was telling you about the first time Theodore, Blaze and me got high. I was confused because you didn’t cover your smile with your hand. You were always covering it. But I didn’t care. Hearing you laugh so sweetly and seeing your eyes get smaller because of your cheeks, you know, it did something to me. I never felt something like that before. And I don’t mean the love part. I mean the part where I felt safe. You were, are my safe space. We would talk for hours, get high and laugh about stupid shit. Remember the time we got caught? Good for us, that we are good runners, huh? My lungs were bleeding, but it was worth holding your hand. I would gladly bleed for you again, if it meant holding your hands. Those hands, that wiped away my tears, cleaned my wounds, made me feel good, caressed my hair and baked your delicious pastries.

We both knew.

I remember how we used to play uno for hours on the ride to Hogwarts. I let you win most of the time. Seeing you get excited and laugh over me, made me feel something. We would talk for hours, trauma dump each other, without feeling ugly, disgusting or scared.

The ride back was something different. We were both quiet. You’d hold my hand and squeeze it occasionally, whisper sweet things and make me calm down. I would feel sorry for being quiet and just looking out the window every time. But I just couldn’t. Knowing that I was going back to that place, called home. It was more of a prison than home. I was in my own world most of the time. I couldn’t. I can’t.

We both knew.

I remember finding your paintings. I was looking for you, because you weren’t at class. I didn’t knew, that you were skipping classes with Pansy at the astronomy tower, because you always told me if you’d skip. I went to your dorm and looked everywhere. I was looking under your bed, when I found oil paintings. I knew you made them because of your signature at the bottom. You painted the black lake at night. Our not so secret, secret spot. We met there every morning, noon or night. It was beautiful. It had something peaceful about it. All those colors and little details, were mesmerizing and living in harmony. They reminded me of you.

We both knew.

I remember how I snuck into your dorm every now and then. It was wrong but, it felt right. Your touch made my skin feel on fire. It made me burn for you. I burn for you. Every kiss, every sound you made, it drove me crazy. You loved to tease me about it the next morning. But still.

We both knew.

I remember the time I passed out and you found me in my dorm. I don’t remember it all clearly, but your screams still echo in my head. You were horrified. You were so scared and fell on your knees. You put my head on your lap and stroke my hair while the others came running in. Draco told me, that you refused to let go of me until a teacher came. Lorenzo had to hold you back, while Tom carried me to the medical wing. They told me, that you thought that I was dying even though it was just an overdose.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw you asleep on the chair next to me. You looked not well. You woke up started crying again. We both were, I couldn’t hide it. I am sorry.

We both knew.

I remember your last birthday in Hogwarts. I bought you new paint brushes, new paint and a necklace I made myself. You were so excited and hugged me so deeply, that it made me feel alive. You used those brushes to make a painting of my eyes. It was very charming. You were very excited as you showed it to me. Your eyes got small and you didn’t hide your smile.

We both knew.

I remember explaining you with tears in my eyes. But you didn’t listen to me. You were furious, aggressive, sad and lost. I found you throwing up in the bathroom. You were grieving. I told you, that we both knew. We both knew that it was too dangerous. We both knew that we were feeling. We both knew we couldn’t.

We both knew.

We both knew it was too dangerous to be together.

We both knew that we were in love, but we were too scared to say it out loud.

We both knew that we were going to be hurt.

We both knew.

here’s the painting of the black lake and of his eyes, just try to imagine it’s his

What outfits on girl they’d like, P.1, P.2:

Blaise:

Regulus (ik he is in the marauders era, but let me be):

Lorenzo:

What I think they’d wear:

Blaise:

Draco:

Reg:

Mattheo:

Lorenzo:

Theo:

What pets I think they’d have

Theodore:

Name: Batman

Has a farting problem.

Is called Batman because he likes to sleep at daytime and jump from shelf to shelf at 4am.

Blaise:

Name: François the second (the first one, jumped out of the window. Blaise is still traumatized and visits his grave every now and then)

His best friend is Cornelius

They tried escaping once.

Lorenzo:

Name: Jeffrey

Survived jumping after François the first, eating rotten berries, missing for whole two weeks, almost eaten by a goat, sneaking into Snape’s office, and is somehow still alive.

Mattheo:

Name: David the magic cheese wizard

Likes to dress up as a wizard, that’s why the name.

Mattheo has an entire wall in his dorm, filled with David’s pictures.

Draco:

Name: Cornelius

Is best friends with François.

Is a distinguished little cook.

They tried escaping once

Regulus:

Name: Lord Bob Voldemort (Bobby)

Has terrorized François and Batman before. It is assumed that he is racist and American.

MERICAAAAAAA

Can y’all please drop some requests😫🙏

I literally dk what to write about anymore

So I was listening to Señorita, cus no one can make me hate this song😫

And I got this idea

What about modern au, Mattheo that lives in spain x tourist Y/N, that asks him to take a picture of her or smt????

Cus in my mind this sounds good

LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD WRITE

Just Mattheo commentating the quidditch match:

“DANG IT”

“AHHHHH”

“SHIT”

“oh fuck me”

“NO NO NO NO N-N-NO”

“BITCH”

“SHIT”

“YESSS”

“huh”

“LETS GOOO”

“AH”

“DAMN IT”

“ouch”

“I think that’s an exposed bone?”

“FUCKING *player*”

“STUPID”

“damn *impressed*”

“GOD DAMN IT”

“HARRY WHEN I CATCH YOUR ASS”

“C’MON MAN”

“THE FUCK YOU MEAN”

“FUCKING LORD”

“NOOO”

“oh”

“WHATEVER”

“YESSSS”

“LETS GO BITCHES”

“FUCKING LETS GOOO”

“naw man I can’t do this anymore”

“ARE YOU FOR REAL”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“go higher.., go higher.., FOR FUCKS SAKE GO HIGHER!”

hi!!!

so I saw you asking for requests???

um, maybe you could do like a Blaise Zabini head canon of plz dont judge i'm mentally ill, i know you don't have to say it spending the summer at like his manor, I guess???

you don't have to do it if you don't want to tho.

❤️

Spending the summer with Blaise at the Manor, Headconons

Ofc imma do it dw love, I don’t judge, I’m ill too😭

I hope u like ittt🎀

A/N: contains fluff, female reader, if there’s anything else lmk

-spending the summer with you at his manor has been on his bullet journal for a long time now

-so you can imagine the excitement in his eyes when you said yes to spending it together

-the drive there was long, but worth it

-you were playing monopoly (bro is a capitalist, and you were broke), listening to your shared Playlist, gossiping (you could consider him as gossip girl at this point), laying on his lap, and him telling you all the fun stuff you guys were going to do

(He has a private driver, he rich rich)

-the moment you entered, your jaw, dislocated, gone, non existent

-when I tell you, that Mrs. Zabini got taste, I mean it

-it’s this old but renovated beautiful mansion

-it’s like straight out of a fairy tale

-it’s so warm and bright, the cozy feeling just comes with it

-it smells like old wood (the good kind) and a hint of lavender

-but spending the summer at the manor also means, spending the summer with MAMA ZABINII😫

-AHHHHHH, I’m a fan girl ngl

-you guys instantly clicked and went on shopping sprees or baked together muffins while she was telling you embarrassing stories about Blaise’s childhood, which he did in fact not appreciate but she did it anyway

-of course Blaise and you had much needed alone time

-nightly walks by the beach, where the sand was cold under your feet, and the salty breezes cleaned your lungs, were a MUST.

-you’d often go watch the sun, while eating those homemade muffins

-on very hot days, you’d go to the beach and spend the day there

-Blaise didn’t mind, rather he liked seeing you in that new small bikini, that you bought with his mom, thanks for that moma

-one time, Mrs. Zabini and you were getting ready for a family dinner, and Blaise walked in on his mom doing your hair, you didn’t even notice him at first, until you saw him leaning on the doorframe and adoring you, from the reflection of the mirror in front of you

-he would also always buy you your favorite fruits and ice cream

-my man was head over heels, when he saw you in that sun dress and those hot sunglasses when you went for a dinner date

-I also see him braiding your hair, because you asked him to do it, since he is very good at it because he learned it from his mom

-and don’t get me started at the homemade lemonade he makes daily

-unfortunately the summer went by wayyy, way to quick and you guys had to leave again

-Moma Zabini hugged you two tightly and said goodbye

-and with that, another summer just passed by.

Blaise: *yells from his dorm* “MATTHEO!”

Mattheo: *yells back* “WHAT?”

Blaise: “GET YOUR FUCKING RACOON, HE’S BEING CREEPY AGAIN!”

What tattoos I think they’d have (except the dark mark)

(ITS JUST MY OPINION SO DONT HATE ON ME FFS)

I’m bored so here ❤️

Draco:

Enzo:

Blaise;

Theo:

Regulus:

Matt:

MOODBOARD GAME

thx for the tag @deadghosy

I’m gonna tag @milaslittlemess @theodorenottswifee @rotthepoet

MOODBOARD GAME

fav character + a song that fits them

Thanks for tagging me! @rafesslxt & @girllblogging777 🫶🏾

Who I want to tag: @evangelinesecondacc @theodorenmyth @beegomess

Sick of the Silence

Theodore Nott x reader

Summary: Theodore ends you friendship over a rumor spred by Rita Skita

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of starving, insecurities, Rita Skita

Words: 6.1k

꧁꧂

You sneakily made your way towards the tent that the competitors were sharing. The air was very damp today, and the weather was starting to get colder. But you couldn't understand how you were still freezing even though you had your old winter boots on, along with Theo's scarf tightly wrapped around your neck

When you stood infront the tent, you carefully lifted the tent entrance to the side and feeling lucky when you saw that Harry was the only one left.

Quickly, you took a leap, and Harry felt his soul leave is chest when he felt someone close his arms around him.

"Merlin! Y/n have you lost your mind." You didn't listen to him.

"First place Harry! And with a Horntail!" You gushed making Harry look down on the ground bashfully.

"Thanks, but you should've seen Cedric." He replied quietly, slowly continuing to peel off his destroyed items.

You sighed as you watched him, taking great sadness in the fact that he didn't even take an ounce of credit.

"Harry, you beat that dragon. With your own strength and mind. Be proud of yourself. Becuase I am certainly." You quietly said, before taking ahold of him again and bringing him into one more hug.

And you smiled to yourself when you felt him slowly start to hug you back.

What broke you out of the hug was a very bright flash, and the sound of a sharp giggle running through the tent. You and Harry quickly separated from your hug, and you felt an unfamiliar uneasiness set into your stomach as you watched Rita Skita and her magic quill.

She sighed dramatically.

"What a scandal." That was all that she said before she left the tent. This could never end well.

꧁꧂

Theodore had never felt the feeling that was currently streaming in his veins. His fingers were grasped tightly around the peace of news, feeling an urge to tear the picture of you and Harry hugging in to shreddes.

Theodore felt betrayed. Wether it was by you or his feelings, he didn't know. But he were aware that you were not the one to blame, it wasn't your fault that you fell for Harry. But oh how he wished that he could blame you and not himself. To not blame himself for being such a coward.

He cleared his throat and forcefully folded the paper before throwing it on the table, getting a last glimpse of the title before he dragged his feet to his first class. Not having the strength in his heart to wait for you, to afraid that tears would be spilled.

Mrs Y/l/n taking her chance with the Harry Potter after he was betrayed by miss Granger for going to his rival.

You watched as Theo hurriedly walked out from the Great Hall, not even looking your way as he exited. You furrowed your eyebrows as you could catch a glimpse of his clenched jaw and white knuckles. If you didn't know any better, he looked hurt. And it deeply concerned you since that wasn't a feeling you wanted the young boy to feel.

꧁꧂

Luna and Cho looked at you with worry in their eyes. You'd been acting strange ever since breakfast. You were not concentrating on your lessons, your hands drawing strange doodles or figures on your paper instead of writing down your notes.

They had also seen the way Theodore stormed out the dining hall this morning, but they didn't think that his pissy mood would affect yours as much as it did.

You had tried all day to get a hold of Theodore, but you almost thought that he'd disappeared from the castle grounds by how quickly he was nowhere to be seen. But the suspicions were luckily blown away when you saw him walking down the moving stairs with his friends from the Slytherin house.

"Theo!" You called, trying to catch his attention, and feeling successful when he heard you. The beat of your heart increased when searched for you, but the look that he gave you was something unusual.

The absolute anguish that his face was painted in shocked you to the core. You'd never seen him look that way at you.

But it disappeared in only a second, and instead, he looked at you with stoic eyes.

You shifted uncomfortably as he stared at you, and you felt yourself having troubles meeting them.

"Ehm, I was wondering if you'd like to study later?" The slight unsure voice that you had made you internally cringe, and you hoped that he didn't notice it.

Theodore could both hear and see your strange behavior, and it was bothering him. You didn't look like you even wanted him in your presence.

Like you were tired of him when you finally got together with Harry Potter. But he wasn't a chore for you to keep company, so he decided to make that clear. Even if something in the back was screaming at him.

"No, I'm busy." You cringed slightly at the cold tone that he used. That wasn't what you were used to. He'd never used that voice with you.

"Oh alright. I'll see you tomorrow then." But he'd already started to walk away again, trying to catch up with the rest of the Slytherins. You frowned as a dark feeling settled in your heart. It wasn't the fact that he declined. It was the fact that he sneered it at you. You'd gotten so used to his soft and melodic voice that you'd forgotten how sharp it could be.

But you did your best to not let the little spot of blackness poison your thoughts. So instead you just kept moving for the Ravenclaw tower.

꧁꧂

It went by two entire days before you had the chance to speak to him again, and you offered to study once more. And to your relief, he said yes.

So you took your books in your hands that night and slipped through the shadows, down to the Slytherin's common room. You pretended to not see anyone as Blaize Zabini let you into the common room. You knew that they weren't fond of you, best friend and almost cousin to Harry Potter, friends with their pureblood Theodore Nott.

You silently thanked Blaize and he gave you a kind smile in return. Blaize was one of the few of Theo's housemates that didn't despise you. And you were grateful for that because never in your life would you want to get on his bad side.

When you opened the door to Theo's shared room, you were immediately hit by the smell of Peach tea, old books, and cologne. The smell of Theo made your ears warm and your nose take an extra deep breath, liking the comfort that it brought.

You quietly stepped inside and walked to the bed that Theo was sitting in. His back was resting on his headboard and a charms book was resting on his lap.

He didn't blink an eye when you stepped inside, but he probably didn't even hear you in the first place.

"Hello there." You smiled at him as you laid your books down on his bed. He looked up through his eyelashes and gave you a tight-lipped smile before he went back to the book, the "smile" already gone from his face.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you wished that your brain would shut up. It wasn't un-normal for Theo not to verbally answer you, but he would make it up with a warm smile or something similar.

Feeling embarrassed, you timidly sat yourself down on the foot of the soft bed, before picking up your charms book. Your finger ran up the old and flaked back of the book as you tried to concentrate.

Although you knew that you needed to study, the feeling was overpowered by the need to take find out what was through his pretty mind.

"So, how've your days been?" Theodore looked almost startled by your question as he snapped his eyes up to meet your y/e/c ones. But when he slowly lowered them again, you felt disappointed.

"It was alright. Was quiet." He answered absent-mindedly. But you smiled lightly to yourself, knowing it was probably a bit quieter when you weren't around. He told you once that he liked how you drowned out the silence from his ears.

"It was quite nice actually."Oh. It took a while for you to register his words. But you did, and for a while, you wondered if he knew what he said. It was a big concern of yours, that you talked too much that is. You thought that he at least found it bearable.

But you didn't want him to think that he hurt you, especially if he only thought about it as a mindless joke or comment, so you gave him a chuckle that felt like it would tear your throat open for blood.

Theodore heard you swallow hard, and it was obvious why. He hadn't thought about the words as they left his mouth. But for some reason, it felt like he should hurt you for what you did to him. Even I'd you were completely innocent to it.

He felt regret hit him exactly two seconds later like a punch in his gut.

He cleared his throat, and your eyes quickly shot up to him.

"I'm tired today, so you should probably leave so that I can get some sleep." He mumbled, looking you straight in the eye with those foreign, distant eyes.

You sighed in dismay, now knowing that something wasn't right.

"Theo, are you alright?" You placed your hand on his leg. Theo swallowed down the guilt he felt and gave you a pitiful nod. But the look in your eyes told him that you didn't quite believe him, and the thought of you caring so much about him made a little smile bloom on his face.

"I'm okay, I promise." He told you lowly, and you let out another sigh, nodding slightly before starting to gather your books.

You knew that he was lying, and you despised it when he lied. Because you always assumed that he would tell you if something was bothering him.

But apparently, he required time, and you were willing to give it to him. But not too much.

Because out of the personal experience, you know that suffering in silence would get you nowhere.

"Goodnight, Theo. Sleep well." You gave him a last smile but didn't stay long enough to see him give you one back.

꧁꧂

"I don't know what's going on with him, Hermione." You sighed, dragging your hands over your face. The entire ordeal was stressing you out, and you didn't know what to do about it. You would try to talk to him, that is if you could catch him since he has been avoiding you like a plague ever since that night.

Hermione sat besides you in the dining hall, a frown on her face as she thought about your situation. She watched as you concealed the lower half of your face in your sweater clad arms in despair.

"And you did try to speak to him?" She interrogated and you nodded, finding interest in one of her quills.

"Yes, but as I said I don't think that he even wants to talk about it with me." It was quiet between you for a while, and you took a small sip of your green tea.

"Maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable around me anymore. I might have said something to provoke him?" You questioned yourself and Hermione stared at you with sympathy in her eyes.

She reached forward and grabbed one of your hands in her own.

"Don't think like that, by what you have told me in the past, that doesn't sound like Theodore at all. So stop letting those harmful thoughts get to you." You looked down and your and Hermoine's tied hands, before meeting her eyes and nodding. It soothed your anxious thoughts a little, to know that you had someone that would help you through anything.

꧁꧂

The rest of the day went by slowly, as it had the other days prior. You didn't have anything to look forward to, since Theo didn't meet you after class anymore. And you were beginning to get impatient and restless, waiting for something that you weren't sure was going to happen.

You didn't have anyone to speak about music to, among every other topic that you would sit and discuss with Theo on your days. And during this time of loneliness, you realized truly how much you depended on him. He was what continued to keep your head over the water, never letting you sink under the pressure. He was what everyone would need to survive, he was like water.

And you were slowly dying without him.

You slowly rose from your bed, realizing that you couldn't lay here with your depressing thoughts. So you decided for a a stroll in the castle.

In the middle of the courtyard sat a small group of Beauxbaton girls, which were almost the only people you'd seen this entire afternoon, but oh to behold. On the other side, in the window of the wall, sat a boy with dark curly hair with his nose in a book.

And in that moment you had been patient enough.

He didn't notice when you stopped in front of him, to intertwine with the words on the pages. You didn't want to disturb him, but this time you had to put yourself first. So you loudly cleared your throat to catch his attention.

Theodore almost jumped when he heard it, and when he met your eyes he felt like his heart was jumping out of his throat. He was not prepared to see you standing in front of him.

You tilted your head as he quickly closed his book and put down his feet from the windowsill. It was an awkward silence, no one saying anything as Theodore nervously played with his fingers.

"Hi, Theo." You took the first step, wanting this game of cat and mouse to be over. He awkwardly lifted his fingers as a reply, and you frowned as he wouldn't look at you.

"Theo, I have given you time, and I don't want to pressure you but I don't think this is good for you?" You tried your best to gain eye contact, but it didn't work so you just ended up settling beside him.

"That what isn't good for me?" He sounded almost irritated and you were a bit taken back.

"That you're pulling yourself away from people, it's not healthy."

"I'm not pulling myself away from people." He nearly interrupted me, and I fretted at his words.

"So you're only pulling yourself away from me then? Why?" Theo swallowed hard at your question. He didn't dare to tell you, but he wished that he could be so selfish so that he could. But it wasn't right of him to destroy your first relationship.

"I just don't feel like talking, why can you not understand that." He told you sternly, and you saw his awkward posture and behavior melt into something harsh and hostile once again.

"I do understand, but this thing is affecting our friendship." It was quiet, and Theodore just stared out through the opposite window, not answering, or even giving a sign that he listened.

"Theodore I miss speaking to you. And I miss being with you." Theo tensed at the mention of his full name falling from your lips, and he saw you lean back as he suddenly stood up.

"Well, I can't handle you speaking to me right now. I'm tired of it, and I need space." He looked you right in the eye when he said it. And you felt your chest contract painfully as you saw no regret in his eyes.

You looked down on your lap, not knowing how to continue after your unsuccessful attempt to get him talking. And now only that but his words were beginning to hurt.

"I'm sorry Theo, I didn't want to push you." You said, your despair stuck in your throat like poison. He didn't answer, only looking down upon you with empty eyes. You tried to search for any feeling in his face, but nothing was shown, not even a small ounce of sadness.

Theodore slowly started to walk past you and you followed him with your eyes as he walked. You felt helpless and afraid. Like if you didn't do something right now, he would leave you forever.

A painful huff left Theodore's pink lips when he felt something squeezing him painfully hard around his slender waist. And he didn't have to look down to know that he would see your y/h/c hair, and he certainly didn't want to, since he would be at his knees, apologizing the second he did. So he just stood there and stared. Not move his arms to embrace you, but neither moves out of your hug.

You waited for him to embrace you like he always did. For his arms to envelope your head while he stroked your hair. But nothing came. His chest was tense against your cheek, but you didn't care. You were not going to let him go until he at least patted you on the back.

"Y/n, let go." He tried to instruct you, and he sighed when you only tighten your arms harder around him. He let his head fall to the side in frustration. It didn't matter that he liked to have your arms around him, because right now it was painful, and it was not because of your hand grip.

A spark of hope ignited in your chest as you felt him move his arms, and you felt yourself relax when his fingertips grace your sleeves.

A yelp left your throat as you felt his slender hands take a hard grip around your wrists. He easily pried your hands apart as you were in slight shock, and he swiftly threw your arms off him before storming down the corridor. Past a certain black-haired male with round glasses, with good ears to be added.

You watched him walk, to get away from you as if you were the pest. Labored breaths escaped your nose as your tears were kept at bay. Storming away from the corridor, you needed to find a place to be alone at.

꧁꧂

Later you found yourself on a stone staircase with your head leaned against Harry's shoulder and his arm wrapped around your shoulder. He tried to console your choked cries, but nothing seemed to help. He realized that this was the first time that you'd cried in front of him. Remus used to tell him how you were a sensitive child when young, but Harry would've never guessed. Especially by the lack of despair, you showed during the years that you'd known him.

A cold wind went through the open wall, and he watched as the sky cried with you.

Footsteps were heard in the distance, but your cries made you unable to hear them. Harry turned his head towards the opening as he heard someone stop in it, and was surprised to see Nott in all his glory, looking at you with guilty eyes.

Harry suspects that he didn't notice him at first because it seemed to take a second before realizing whose arms you were in. And when Theodore met his eyes, they turned into stone. But Harry wasn't blind.

He saw the heartbreak since it matched the eyes that Hermoine had for Ron after I said something idiotic.

꧁꧂

When Mattheo and Blaize entered their shared room, they were expecting to find Theodore with either you, sleeping, or his nose in a new book. Not his back faced against the door, head in his hands and elbow resting on his legs as pitiful sniffles echoed through the room.

Their conversation came to an end when they realized what was happening, and they gave each other a look before walking up to the bed.

"Nott, what's up with you?" Mattheo asked carelessly, earning a jab in the ribs.

"Don't be a twat." Blaize hissed.

Theodore quickly wiped his cheeks and eyes before sitting up in his bed, leaning his back on the head board with bent knees.

He didn't look at them.

"Nothing of your concern." His voice cracked.

He did end up telling about the things that'd happen, obviously not in detail, but enough of the story so that his two friends could understand, and later leave them alone.

Blaize couldn't decide on where to stand. Theodore was his friend, and he understood what situation he'd gotten himself into. But he also thought that Theodore had been a dick.

"Come on Nott, it's only a girl. There so much better things in the world than girls." Mattheo casually said from his bed while he changed his rooms for his evening clothes.

Blaize snorted from his place on Theo's bed, and Mattheos head emidiatly snapped towards him, sending him a deadly glare.

"Like you know how to fall in love Mattheo." Blaize adjusted his collar at the emotionless voice of Theodore, and he waited patiently for Mattheo to snap at him. But was mildly surprised when he only laughed at him.

"I'm serious, I don't know what to do. I don't even think I can do anything."

"But it's just a crush right? It will fade in time Theo." Blaize thought that he's words would bring a little bit of comfort to the distressed Slytherin. He wasn't right.

"I haven't met someone that cared for me like that since my mother died."

The room went airily quiet. And both of them turned towards Theodore, who was again carrying tears in his long lashes.

꧁Two months later꧂

Second tournament

He felt weak. And the screaming of different students around him was hurting his eardrums. He wished that he could crawl back to his bed, or maybe just to lay down on the damp wood under his feet.

Thedore looked sick. His face had gained a new gray colour to it, and usual circles under his eyes had increased tenfold. It had even gotten so bad that his clothes wasn't fitting as they should anymore.

He anxiously chewed on his nails. He hadn't caught a glimpse of you in two entire days. He was aware that you weren't talking anymore, that you haven't had an interaction since that day two months ago. But he felt guilty, but he's chance to apologize was ruined by his pettiness when he saw you in Harry Potters arms, and since then he thought that it was to late. Though it didn't stop him to keep you in check.

Ever since that day, he'd watched over you. Not following you or starring at you. Only making sure that you were still there. He remember those days that he hadn't caught a glimpse of you. He wouldn't be able to sleep, loud thoughts making it so quiet in the room as he wondered where you were.

The water started to ripple when he saw Cedric Diggory emerge with Cho Chang in his arms, your friend.

The Hogwart's students exploded in shouts and jubilation of glee as he was pulled up from the watter.

Theodore didn't give to shits about who won. The need to find you was growing by the second, making his mind go hazy.

The Durmstrangs shouted proudly as Viktor Krum came out of the water, Hermione Granger besides him, looking very confused and cold.

Another one of her friends.

Gasps, shouts and screams was heard when, instead of Harry, two girls apeared in the water.

Your head violently turned as you heard the shouts around you. And you realised quickly that you'd been rescued from the second task. But you didn't mask your confusion as you were met with a young blond girl instead of Harry, but you didn't have any time to waste so you quickly helped her towards the stand.

When you were finally dragged up people started to surround you with blankets, pats on the back, and even a few hugs from the closest.

You didn't even notice when Harry was shot up from the water since you were shaking in your shoes while feeling over stimulated by the people around you.

"Y/n!" You didn't get time to see the person that had desperately shouted your name, becuase before you even had time to think, arms had circled your neck and you were quite forcefully pulled into someone. And when your nose hit their chest you emidiatly realised who it was.

Theo was holding you in a death grip, squeezing you as you slowly circled you arms around him.

"Theo." You whispered, and with the call of his name he let you go, but he didn't leave you. He messily took of his green and grey scarf, and began to wrap it around your neck  and when he was done with that he darted to quickly wipe your still wet face with hid cold hands, felling desperate to feel your skin.

"Theo." He stopped, hands shaking and eyes wide. You didn't look at him with anger. You didn't look at him with a sad eye. You looked worried. His face was slimmer and he certainly didn't look all to well. He was breathing heavily, as if he just ha been pulled out of a nightmare.

He watched intently as you raised your hand to his cheek, and butterfly erupted in his stomach. He almost wanted to cry when you stopped yourself.

You hadn't forgotten how he treated you. You wanted to, but the actions had already been done and the words had been thrown. And he hadn't even apologized.

"Nott!" Mattheo roared as the crowd started to leave and Theadore requlantly stood up before leaving you and his scarf to go to his friends. You followed him with your eyes as he got into the boat, taking some time to just look on his face.

He is so beutiful. With hid straight nose, sharp jaw and big tired brown eyes. You wanted to blame the heat on your cheeks on the drastical temperature changes, you couldn't believe that you were still so in love with him after everything he's done.

You yelped as you were hoisted up on your legs by two pair of arms and smiled when you saw a drenched Hermione and a happy Ron on your sides.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked you, not hiding her excitement.

"Yeah, Nott just hugged you infront of the entire bloody school, what's gotten into that bloke." Ron said in disbelief as you began to walk towards the boats.

"Oh don't you get Ronald, it's love." Hermione smiled happily, and you laughed as Ronald shook his head until you realised what she said.

"What do you mean by 'love'?" You eyed her carefully, but she casually ignored you as she sat down on a boat, dragging you and Ron with her.

"She has a bet with Fred and George about who's going to confess first. Fred and George thinks that Nott is going to confess first by the last trial." Ron explained, before Hermione interrupted him.

"And I believe that Theodore is going to confess sometime around the second task, more exactly, today." You looked at Hermoine with a fish mouth. In your entire time of knowing Hermoine, you have never heard her make a bet. Especially not on a so stupid thing as your love life.

"What makes you belive that? He hasn't spoken to me in two months!" You exclaimed while holding up two figners.

Hermione looked at with an odd expression.

"I'm sorry are you blind? Have you seen him the last week. He's been looking at you like a homeless kitten. It's sad really." Hermione looked forwards again and you only shook your head at her.

"But why did no one bet on me to confess first?" You slapped your hand of your mouth as you realised what you said, and Hermoine let out a gasp.

"So you do like him!?" You hushed her quickly, looking around you to make sure that no one was listening to you conversation.

"Shut it, I don't need the entire school to know." You hissed when the boat came to a stop.

"Oh belive me, the entire school does already know." Ron concluded as he stepped out from the boat. Hermione glared at him as they walked, but he only smiled lightly.

Suddenly, they stopped and you casted your eyes forwards, only to see Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo Bekshire standing infront of you. You looked in between them quiestongly.

"Uh, hello." Lorenzo said bashfully with a smile on his face. Ron and Hemoine looked doubtfully between the two boys as they stood infront of them, Lorenzo trying to make small talk while Mattheo looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than infront of them.

"Alright that's enough." Mathheo interrupted Lorenzos talk about the weather before grabbing you by your upper arm and dragging you away from your friends.

"Come on, we need to talk." You looked in panic back towards Ron and Hermoine, who booth looked as confused as you felt. You looked at Lorenzo as he caught up with you, and gave you a bright smile, which you returned with an unsure smile from yourself.

You wanted to ask where you were going, but you didn't have to when you saw the rest of the slytherins, along with Theo standing there and talking mindlessly.

You emidiatly tensed up and tried to struggle out of Mattheos hard grip.

"Nuh uh. You two are going to speak to each other today. I'm tired of getting woken up by Notts crying in the middle of the bloody night." He mumbled, and began to drag you towards them again.

Had Theo been crying?

"Nott!" Mattheo yelled, gaining the attention of the small group. Theodore felt his heart drop when he saw who was with them. As if it were an instict, he tried to find a way out of it, not really feeling the need to meet your dissepointment for real.

But a hand on his holder stopped his head from moving around.

"Theodore, this is your only chance to make it right. You have to tell her." Blaize whispered, and Theodore pursed lips knowing that he was right. So with heavy feet, he walked up to you.

Lorenzo gave you a nodd, before walking along with the rest of the group, who was giving you strange looks before Lorenzo had started to sho them away.

It was quiet, the only thing that was heard was the splashing of the waves against the shore, and the wind blowing in the trees.

"Theodore wha-."

"How are you and Harry?" You watched as his face contorted into a fake smile, stuffing his hands even further down his black coat.

"Me and Harry?" He looked at you with his eyebrows together, as if it was obvious that it was you and Harry.

"It's... good? I'm sorry I don't really understand." Theodore sighed as he kicked in the dirt, feeling anxious towards your calculating eyes.

"Nothing."

"Are you still cold?" He asked, finally finding the courage to meet your eye once again. He swallowed hard when he saw your sad frown as you shook your head, trying to apear to be glader than you really were.

"No, your scarf is warm." Now it was your turn to look away. His big brown eyes were starring at with the same softness that you hadn't seen for two months.

"I-.. I'm sorry. I never meant to be so... distant." He chocked out. He looked like he was in pain. And he probably felt like it to. You looked at him as he swallowed and harkeld as he waited for you to say something.

"Did i do something, Theodore?" You said in low voice. For the first time ever, you felt intimidated by his precens. The way his body slightly towers your own, how his eyes constantly loomed over you face.

"No. Of course not." He sighed after a beat of silence. He took a step closer to you, not feeling comfortable to be so far away from you. An you looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Theodore, if you're going to say something i want you to say it now, otherwise I'll leave." It was quiet for a moment and Theodore felt stuck.

He watched as you sighed deeply, looking down on the ground before swiftly walking by him.

Theodore reacted instantly. Before you were able to walk any further, he quickly took a strong hold on your wrist forcing you to stop. And you ended up standing shoulder against shoulder, with his against the lake and your eyes on the leaf covored ground, turned towards the forest.

"Y/n." He said. You didn't react.

"Y/n, look at me." He sternly ordered, and you could feel that he was staring at the side of your head. His hand slightly tightened in an almost possessive way around your wrist, and you couldn't lie that it brought a nervous feeling to your stomach.

His hand slowly started to raise from your wrist, his fingertips slowly tracing the length of your arm, and you wanted to belive that you could feel the warmth of his fingertips through the layers of your soaked clothes and blankets.

"I want to be selfish." He spoke lowly and melancholy. You were confused because it didn't even sound like he was speaking to you.

His continued up towards your face, and you took a deep breath with you felt his knuckles starting to steadily graze your cheek.

"I love you."

You snapped your head towards him feeling anger rise faster than a rocket in you chest. Angry tears hung in your lashes, and maybe in different scenario you would have been happier, but your butterflies had no chance do defeat the flames of your anger.

"You're a coward." His face fell the second he heard your words.

"I know my love." He sadly smiled at me as he soothed his palm over you cheek.

"You didn't speak to me for months, only because you liked me? You hurt me, Theo." You tried to confirm what you were hearing, but it was hard to keep your voice steady.

"I didn't speak to you for months because I'm in love with you." His forehead made contact with the side of your head.

"I didn't speak to you for months because if I did I would become selfish, and if I did I would destroy everything that you and Potter have together." He slowly lowered his head, so that he could peck you by the ear before he left, but was disappointed when you abruptly pulled away from him.

"What is this constant japing about me and Harry?! I have never in my life been in love with him, let alone dating him!" You shouted, your frustration running amock as you realized how utterly dumb Theodore Nott was.

"You ignored me for two months because you thought I was in love with Harry?" You quietened down when you saw the startled eyes that Theo gave you after you shouted.

He didn't answer, only continued to stare at you with big eyes.

"Theodore Nott, if you had just told me about your feelings nothing of this would have happened. I would be yours by now if you just to-" Something warm touched your top lip, which made your voice get lost in the autumn air. Your eyes were blown wide as you saw Theo being so close to you with your eyes closed, his big hands on your cheeks and his soft lips on yours.

He slowly cracked his eyes open, and he felt his cheeks become red when he saw your pupil-blown eyes starring at him

"Close your eyes." He mumbled shyly against your lips, and when you did as he said, he collected one more kiss. This on being directly in the middle of your lips.

Your arms hung limply at your sides as you tried your best to kiss him back.

When he pulled away his breath was much shakier than he intended it to be, and he felt embarrassed when a lonely tear escaped his eye.

You quickly stood up on your toes, and kissed him right under his closed eye, tasting the salt of his tear on your lips as you pulled away.

"Theo."

"I'm sorry. I should never have done that to you."

"Theo I think I'm in love with you."

꧁ end ꧂

I think it was a little half as but whatevs

Thanks to @eunoiathewriter for helping me with the idea!

| i have no idea where he came from, but i know i love the hp fandom so much cuz like damn thanks now i got another comfort character

Theo Nott x Reader

+ his friends x reader <3

some of these are angsty bc let’s be real, a relationship with him wouldn’t be a happy sailing all the time

» masterlist

🐍 theo mr. possessive nott — he’s not very talkative, not very outgoing, not very showing, until someone tries to lay a hand on you

“i fucking hate it when he looks at you,” he says every time someone looks at you. he lost a lot as a child, he’s over-protective and overly needy when it comes to you, because finally he has a person he feels love towards — he doesn’t want to lose you too.

so someone even thinking about becoming close to you? no.

🐍 gets into fights a lot… like a lot

🐍 doesn’t know how to handle his anger so he’d often take it out on you (ends in either unfortunate fights or fortunate make outs, or both)

🐍 either rly chill or rly angry

🐍 he loves his friends, wouldn’t ever say it out loud, of course, but he’d die for them, or kill for them, they are his family — super happy you get along with them well <3

🐍 sometimes a bit too well — you and mattheo could tease him for the entire day and say stupid shit and jokes and he’d grow extremely annoyed over it (he loves you both)

🐍 mattheo being super protective over you whenever theo’s not there, he’s like a brother to you

🐍 trusts his friends around you buuut will kiss you every now and then just to remind everyone 🙄

🐍 the train ride to school at the beginning of the year goes like this; theo, mattheo, blaise, draco, enzo and you, but the cabin’s only made for four people, so it’s you on theos lap and enzo squeezed between mattheo and draco because you all refuse to separate… you all listen to dracos complains the whole time

🐍 you and him couldn’t care less about dracos fights with potter and his friend group; theo genuinely does not give a fuck and finds it a waste of time, and you don’t mind the potter group that much so you just don’t participate and often disappear to spend some time together in the forest

🐍 both of you see thestrals and come to deep forest spots to just sit in the grass and watch them

🐍 he notices a lot of things — notices when you are cold and will give you his jacket, scarf or his school robe, he notices it when you go quiet, and just makes sure he’s there with you until you are okay again, he notices when someone makes you uncomfortable and he’ll make sure to make their day a living hell, notices when you like something, when you mind something, when you sound happy or really sad, usually knows what to do to help you

🐍 neither of you is a fan of parties and it usually ends bad if you end up going; theo gets too wasted OR gets himself into another fight, and you don’t handle big groups of people well

🐍 he doesn’t actually enjoy parties at all, he just goes for his friends and status… and you just go for him

🐍 blaise being the hero and distracting you with jokes and his witty remarks so that you wouldn’t focus on the big loud crowd and the fact that theo disappeared somewhere (enzo is clueless and tries to drag you to dance with him — blaise almost punching that guy bc he’s just so dumb)

🐍 theo having the audacity to get mad at you after he returns with a bloody nose and a split lip and seeing you laugh at blaises jokes

“yeah whatever, spend the night with him for all i care”

🐍 you end up crying, he ends up finding you after like five minutes after he said that bc the guilt was eating him alive (also he didn’t want you to spend the night with blaise and he did, in fact, care)

🐍 jealous makeout that night and later on just laying in bed, while you both stare at the ceiling and play with eachothers fingers and hands, and explaining to him how him leaving you alone in a big crowd made you feel anxious and how blaise actually helped a lot, and him agreeing on not going to parties any time soon

🐍 already called you “my girl” “mine” “my baby” a lot but uses it a lot more after that party, especially during heated moments

🐍 might sound ironic but he gives off extremely calm energy when you get to know him, that guy that gets into fights and has bruised knuckles all the time and gives everyone a death glare, is the calmest person you’ve met when you are alone with him

🐍 he likes books — reading together is a big quality time and comfort for him <3

🐍 book shopping dates where he’ll get you the books you want

“oh, i’ve read this, it’s a classic in muggles world,”

“oh,” you keep reading the back of the book for a while, “it sounds interesting,”

he smiles and just takes it from your hands to get it for you, and does this every single time you look at a book or talk about a book

🐍 staying up late in the slytherin common room reading and talking and listening to the fireplace

🐍 he likes to lay on your chest

🐍 you like to wrap your arms around him, and he loves it when you do that, makes him feel safe

🐍 tired studying sessions where you both go “screw it” and lay in bed, cuddle, make out and play with some silly spells like letting your patronus run around (the only happy memories he uses are with you and his friends)

🐍 sneaking off at night just bc it’s thrilling to make out in dark halls full of ghosts

🐍 getting caught and losing house points only to do it again the next night

🐍 astronomy tower dates sound cool at first but everyone goes to astronomy tower to have dates, so eventually you find your own secret spots

🐍 he’s horny 24/7, it had to be said

🐍 doesn’t know how to talk about his emotions so he’ll either show it by being affectionate physically or by protecting you all the time

🐍 will just grab you and start kissing you passionately whenever he feels like it

🐍 you missed so many classes because of him… but oh well

🐍 definitely has a thing for risky makeouts, the danger of getting caught and getting in trouble turns him on

🐍 does that thing where he’ll put a hand on the table corner just so you wouldn’t accidentally hit yourself

🐍 stands in front of you whenever there’s a bigger group of people (especially after what you told him after that one party, he just does it subconciously now)

🐍 mattheo knows too and they’ll just both shield you with their bodies

🐍 switching ties together <3 it doesn’t matter, the student ties are all the same but it’s the feeling that counts

🐍 wearing his scarf as well

🐍 stroking your thigh in class, during dinner, lunch and breakfast in the great hall, mf will sometimes leave a little peck on your neck and have no shame

🐍 doesn’t care about other people, at all, he’s careless when it comes to anyone beside his few friends or you, makes you feel special <3

🐍 he has a lot of mental breakdowns, especially from all the death eater stuff, and won’t allow you to comfort him (eventually he will, but it’s hard for both of you — takes him ages to open up to you)

🐍 yeah, death eater bf — it’s not always easy

he even tried to push you away when it came down to it, but he just couldn’t, so now he tries to keep you away from all these things as much as he can

🐍 he’s good at potions, helps you out a ton

🐍 “hey nott, pair with me?” cuz they all know he’ll save their asses in potions assignments

🐍 “nah I’m with y/n” automatically 🥰🥰

🐍 again, library dates sound cool until you realise everyone goes to study dates in the library, so you’ll end up borrowing books and studying in your room together, undisturbed

🐍 with that being said, there’s usually not much studying…

🐍 “hey, uh— about yule ball,”

“yeah i don’t really care,” he’d mumble while reading a book.

“oh...” your voice would drop. his eyes would look up and study your expression. he’d end up asking about suits and which one to get later that day.

🐍 yule ball actually being a lot of fun <3

🐍 idk but like matching all black outfits to yule ball with his friend group >>>>>

🐍 he’d eventually get bored of the event and drag you out to the quidditch stadion to sit on his lap in the cold night and make out. he’d mumble how perfect you look and how lucky he is, and he’d make sure you feel good (skilled fingers bf)

🐍 ron tried to flirt with you once and he broke his nose

🐍 a guy from ravenclaw tried to flirt with you once and he broke his whole face

🐍 neutral on PDA — he doesn’t see the appeal but he also doesn’t care about others so if he feels like kissing and touching you, he’ll kiss and touch you

🐍 you’re not like him, if someone tries to flirt with him, you don’t go around breaking peoples faces and yelling, rather you shut off and drown in anxiety, he notices so he keeps his role of the “mean guy thats friends with other mean guys” and straight up tells the girl to fuck off (holds your hand right after and shows a bit more PDA that day)

🐍 he doesn’t smile much, which only makes his smile prettier. you love it when you make him smile or chuckle

🐍 holding eachothers hands a lot — it’s just a reminder that you are both there, whether it’s in class, during lunch, watching quidditch, walking down the hall, he likes to feel you are there with him

🐍 his friends just call him nott and people that he’s not close with call him theodore, so you calling him just theo feels somewhat special, and it makes him feel warm inside

🐍 does a thing where he’ll stare at you calmly and make you blush and go “whatt?!” and he’ll just chuckle and say “nothing, my girl’s just pretty”

🐍 all six of you hanging out around the castle or the forbidden forest at night and him squeezing your hip or leg whenever it’s really dark so others wouldn’t see

you teasing him back by pretending something scared you and hugging him real close and ‘accidentally’ brushing your body against his

you both end up frustrated as fuck

🐍 doesn’t say i love you often but when he does he really means it

i love him sm it’s not even funny anymore.

also do ya’ll think lorenzo knows he’s now completely out of nowhere a face of some random slytherin character? 😭 like that thought of him finding out is just funny to me idk

you’re the best i ever had, you’re the worst i ever had

Theo Nott x Reader

you and theo used to be close, until one day you weren’t, and he can’t get your attention in any other way than being mean to you

angst, angst, angst

» masterlist

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so fucking sorry

I’ve been playing somebody and it’s helping nobody

And now I’m sick, throwing fists

And I have seen you in my head every fucking day since I left

— 11 minutes, yungblud

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Hey,” you mumbled to him, getting no answer, as per usual, and as always, he wondered if you’d ever stop saying hi to him on a Thursday morning before Potions.

Apparently not.

Draco sat infront of you, and mumbled a “shit!” before turning to you, “Y/N did you finish the assignment?”

“Oh… um, no,” you forgot about all your assignments lately. Theo occupied your mind way too much.

“What did you expect, that her dumb ass did it?” Theo mumbled and shoved his own finished paper at Malfoy. Your heart dropped and even Draco gave him a puzzled look. The friend group knew you and Theo stopped talking, they didn’t know most of the things he said to you tho.

But he shrugged it off, not caring much, and turned around to quickly copy the homework.

You stay quiet, practically not moving an inch, lost in your own head. You hear Theo smirk next to you. “Don’t act so surprised, it’s true,” he whispered.

You ignore him, knowing any word coming out of your mouth would be a stutter. You looked down on your own paper, deciding to at least try finish some of it before the class starts.

You read the first question and don’t even finish reading it, your eyes instead glued on your shaky hand. Theo notices too. “Aww,” he pouts, “don’t tell me you are upset now.”

“Fuck off Theo,” you finally say back, your voice breaking before saying his name. You never thought you’d be saying his name like this. With so much sorrow.

He lets out a silent laugh, “Do you wanna know what the funniest thing is?”

“No.”

“You can’t help but say hi to me every time. You hate me yet you seek me out every chance you get, hoping I’ll talk to you. It’s honestly amusing.” His voice was sharp.

You stay silent for a moment, gathering yourself up, hoping you won’t break. “Maybe I should stop.” You finally say. Not even denying anything he just said. It was the truth. You both knew it was. It just hurt as hell.

He laughs. “Now why would you do that? You would be so lonely without the only human interaction you keep so desperately hoping for. Plus you’d have no one to annoy.”

You don’t answer him. There are thoughts racing through your mind, you want to tell him so badly to go to hell, but you just don’t manage to say anything.

He leans closer to you, and whispers, just a little lower than his previous words, “You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”

“You know,” you say, but don’t look at him, feeling anger gather in you as well, “you talk way too fucking much for someone who’s annoyed by me and wants me out of their life.” This time you do. You glare at him.

He looks you in the eye for a moment, and then smirks. “But I like to annoy you. You’re just too easy to rile up. It’s pathetic.”

You break eye contact with him again. It was the first time in a long time you even looked him in the eye, and you managed to feel tears staining your cheeks. You didn’t want him to see it. And in that very moment, you felt your heart truly break. Your teacher appeared in the door the very second you grabbed your bag and got up.

“Ah, miss Y/N—“

“Sorry,” your voice broke as you walked past the teacher.

“That’s a shame, she didn’t finish the paper,” the teacher mumbled as he was taking all the papers from his students.

“She left it here,” Theo said and gave him the paper Draco managed to sneak back to him a second ago.

“Hm. And your paper, Mr. Nott?”

“I forgot about it… sorry.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Something Theo told you this morning broke you. You’ve slowly been breaking for the last few months, whenever he’d ignore you, look away from you, not answer you or use cruel words, a little bit of you died. And there was nothing left after today.

You cried in your room for hours, thinking about when it all got so fucked up. You used to be close friends, taking classes together, going to the Forbidden forest together, he liked you enough to introduce you to his friends, even. One time he even got in a fight for you when some ass from Gryffindor tried to touch you.

Eventually you ended up kissing a few times, and stealing touches, and before you knew it he spent a few nights in your room, keeping you warm and whispering sweet promises that meant absolutely nothing now.

And then it stopped. Just like that. At first he ignored you, and then the cruel words came in, and it kept getting worse, all up until today.

Who knows how you even ended up here, in the middle of a Slytherin party, drowning in yet another drink.

“Hey, don’t you wanna calm down with that?” Draco laughed next to you and grabbed the cup from your hands. You gave him a quick look and reached for a new cup, and almost drank the whole thing again. “Nope.”

“Right. My guess is it’s to do with Nott?”

“Who?”

“Very funny,” he rolled his eyes and grabbed your back to stop you from falling. “Well, if you are over him, Cormac has been asking about you.” Theo almost broke his nose when he asked him, but Draco didn’t tell you that. It would be to no good.

“I can put a word in for myself, thank you,” Cormac suddenly appeared by your side and snuck his arm around your waist. Draco rolled his eyes and disappeared.

“What the fuck was that?!” Theo jumped in front of him and shoved him without thinking.

“Calm down,” Draco shrugged him off and took another sip from the cup he confiscated earlier. “It’s at least gonna be funny,” he nodded to Cormac leaning over your body and mumbling something to you.

“No the fuck it won’t,” Theo growled at him. He looked at you again, and the way Cormac was practically all over you… didn’t you mind?

Gosh, you were so infuriating, did you know that?

He noticed the way your hand brushed over Cormacs, and suddenly he felt sick to his stomach as well.

He noticed the way he kept telling you some bullshit and the way you giggled. And he thought to himself don’t you dare kiss him.

He swore he saw you look at him for just a second, like your eyes searched for him in the crowd, but before he could even process that, you were the one pulling Cormac in for a kiss.

You kissed Cormac. And it felt… wrong. Every single second of that kiss you were just thinking that he’s not Theo. How kissing Theo felt right, and how wrong this feels. You felt his hands on your hips and you felt like crying and breaking down again at the thought of Theo. Why couldn’t it be him?

You felt your eyes water again, but before you could pull back, someone pulled Cormac back so roughly he turned around immediately, and you just saw Theo slam his arm down on Cormacs face. And keep beating and kicking him until his friends dragged him away.

You felt furious. You grabbed his shoulder and turned him to you. “What the fuck Theo?!”

“You kissed him! I fucking—“

“And why the FUCK DO YOU CARE?!” You yelled at him, screaming in frustration. You saw him freeze in his spot for a moment.

He gathered his breath. “Because… you’re mine.”

This time you were the one to laugh at him. For the first time in months he heard your laugh and it didn’t sound as pretty as it used to. At all. “No, I’m fucking not. You keep hurting me, the only thing you do is hurt me and laugh at me, I don’t want to be yours. I wanted to, I really did…” you looked him in the eye, and found your voice breaking again, “but you pushed me away.”

He grabbed your arm, squeezing it in desperation, “You wouldn’t have kissed Cormac, would you? Tell me, why did you kiss him?”

“I don’t know…”

He raised his voice at you. “Don’t lie to me!”

You felt your eyes tearing up again. You tried to get away from his grip, all you wanted to do right now was to get away from him. You never wanted to feel this way. “Leave me alone.”

His grip only tightened as his voice got louder. “The truth, Y/N. Did you kiss him to make me mad?”

You looked at him in disbelief. “And why would me kissing someone even fucking matter?! You hate me, remember?”

He grew angry, he stepped closer to you, staring into your eyes. “Answer me. Did you do it to spite me or did you do it because you are attracted to him?”

“I did it to forget about you Theo.” You say, and his grip on you becomes loose, for the first time in so long you see an expression on his face. “Because you are in my head every fucking day since you left. And it hurts so much. You hurt me so much.”

He wanted to get closer to you, to say something, but you shook your head. “It’s your turn to answer the question. Why would you care if I kiss some random guy?”

“I don’t want some asshole hanging over you. I want you to myself…” he whispered.

“Then why do you treat me the way you do?”

He avoided eye contact with you, his body was shaking, he was fucked up, and it was the first time you saw him like this. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how else to keep your attention, how to tell you how I feel. Do you understand?”

You were staring at him. Did he realise how ridiculous he sounded? “No, I don’t understand Theo. Just leave me alone.” You pulled away from his grip and turned around to walk away.

“Wait,” he chased after you and turned you around to him. “You still care about me?”

You looked down. Breaking at how pathetic you’re gonna sound now. “I will always care about you Theo… even if you don’t.”

He bites down on his lip in frustration, “Listen to me, I do care, okay? I do care, and I’m sorry,” he picked your chin up and looked you in the eye. And you saw in his eyes that this was still your Theo.

“Please understand. I don’t know how to show how I feel. How can you even stand me after the way I acted?”

You watch him and feel a tear, you quickly wipe it, afraid you’re gonna look dumb, ridiculous, pathetic, and all those other stuff he called you. “I don’t know.”

He gently wiped your cheek with his thumb and pressed a kiss on the spot. “I’ll get better, I promise. Just… give me another chance. Please.”

You go quiet for a moment. “Okay…” you give him a small nod. His eyes lit up, but before he can say anything, you continue, “one chance Theo. One. If you mess it up I’m gone forever.”

He gives you a small sad smile. “I’ll be good. I promise, just don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do if you were gone. You don’t wanna know what I would do if you were gone.”

“Okay…” you mumble and give him a quick kiss, then pull him in for a hug. Theo wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close to him, letting out a deep breath.

He kissed the top of your head first, and then grabbed your chin again to force you to look at him. “Can I?” He leaned closer.

You gave him a quick nod. “Please…”

And he kissed you. Properly. Deeply. Hoping you’ll know how he feels if his words can’t tell you. You kiss him back, and it feels okay.

“Let’s get out of here…”

La mia serie preferita

i can be your dream girl ! ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

𝜗𝜚 ˖°. fawn!reader⋆.˚⊹

✧˖°. masterlist

fawn!reader loves care of magical creatures and always participates in Hagrid’s classes and visits him in his hut. she often struggles in other classes, since she devotes most of her time reading about the magical creatures found in the Forbidden Forest. she spends a lot of time outside in the grassy courtyards that Hogwarts has to offer. 

fawn!reader loves eating warm pastries, especially ones with chocolate notes. she gushes over lace detailing and cozy scarves and often sports white linens and brown sweaters. she loves warm stockings and the holidays, desperately offering to help the house elves in the Hogwarts kitchen during large meals, but to no avail. she always smells like a toasty bakery and wears little to no makeup on a daily basis.

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