Then And Now, Weve Got Each Other

Then and Now, We’ve Got Each Other

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Prompt - ‘Let’s leave this nothing town behind us, we don’t need anything else, we’ve got each other.’

Daryl Dixon wasn’t somebody who enjoyed his life. His dad drank himself stupid every day, beat on their mom until she went and got herself killed. Their dad, when he could stand straight enough, beat on him and Merle so much that both of them had learnt from a young age to hide their marks, at least until they realised that nobody cared.

Merle was the first to drop out of school, nobody fought much to get him back there either. It wasn’t like their dad gave a damn about where they were and the teachers saw the Dixon boys as a troubled pair that would amount to nothing. Merle was always involved in some sketchy business but Daryl learnt not to ask what it was, especially not when it meant Merle sometimes snuck him the occasional sandwich when their dad was passed out.

Daryl had stuck school out for longer than Merle but it didn’t take much longer for him to leave either. He was ready to leave when Merle had but something happened that made his life different, he still didn’t enjoy it, he wasn’t happy but he felt…different.

You had moved states and ended up at a new school. You hadn’t even been there a few days when you’d heard the whispers of the Dixon boys and it hadn’t taken long to realise who they were talking about, the boy in your class with long, dirty hair and even dirtier clothes. You assumed he had a brother who looked equally as dirty and scrawny and felt your heart ache as people gossiped about the pair.

He never spoke to you but he felt less sad when you smiled at him. He knew people spoke about him but he had never cared, nothing these kids said could hurt more than his dad’s fists but still, you made it better.

He lasted a few months before dropping out and you worried the whole week he didn’t show up for school. You weren’t stupid, you had seen the bruises that nobody else seemed to care about, seen the cuts and the way Daryl swiped food so quickly it had taken you a while to notice, you had started bringing extra food in after you had though and leaving it in your place after you left.

You were worried sick that whoever was hurting Daryl had gone too far but there wasn’t anything you could do. You didn’t have a phone number for Daryl, didn’t know where he lived, didn’t know who his big brother was to ask about him.

When the next week rolled around and Daryl still hadn’t been seen you started asking around, ignoring the odd looks people gave you and eventually pieced together enough to figure out where Daryl lived.

After school you walked to where Daryl should live, it was out of the way, run down and had you glancing over your shoulder as you walked down the street trying to find any sign of Daryl. You had only been able to get the street he lived on, not his actual house number, so short of knocking on every house there wasn’t much you could do and sighed to yourself feeling helpless.

The rundown street was surrounded by woods that only made the place seem even more dangerous but just passed it all there was a river and without meaning to you found yourself walking towards it. Twigs and leaves crunched under your feet and you jumped at every sound in the distance but the river was quite nice considering the area and once you were out of the trees it was actually quite peaceful.

You walked for a while before stopping, eyebrows knitting together as you saw a figure in the distance sat alone staring out at the river. You hadn’t ever spoken to him but you’d spent more than enough time looking at him to know it was Daryl and felt a small smile pull at your lips.

At least he was alive.

You made your way over to him, trying to keep your footsteps light even though unbeknownst to you Daryl had heard you long before you had seen him. Daryl had that feeling again, he hated his life, there was nothing good in it but here you were and suddenly it felt different again.

You didn’t say anything when you finally joined him, just sat down on the floor next to him and Daryl couldn’t help but glance at you out of the corner of his eyes. Here you were, clean and neat sitting on the dirty, muddy floor with him.

It made it easier to breathe somehow even as his ribs ached from his dad’s boot.

The two of you sat side by side for a while in peaceful silence, neither one of you knowing what to say and yet it didn’t feel awkward. It was weird to Daryl, he wasn’t used to having somebody with him, not even Merle came out here with him. He was used to being alone, it was better that way and yet for some reason he didn’t hate that you had joined him.

“You didn’t come to school.” You finally said, breaking the silence but keeping your voice soft.

You hadn’t asked a question, there was no reason for Daryl to say anything, he didn’t owe you an answer, didn’t need to explain himself to you but you had come to find him and he had wanted to talk to you for a while.

“Dropped out.” He finally muttered, not looking at you as his voice came out weak and croaky…he wasn’t used to speaking much.

You didn’t know what to say to that and kept looking ahead at the river in front of you. Daryl looked even skinnier than when you had last seen him and this time he had a split lip and black eye that made you wince.

You wished you could do something to help him but you figured Daryl wouldn’t exactly be the type to let you call the police for him. People whispered about the Dixon family, they knew full well what was going on, if somebody was going to step in they would have long before you showed up in town.

So maybe you couldn’t get Daryl away from his house, maybe you couldn’t stop whoever was hurting him but you could do something. You could be a friend to him, give him somebody to talk to who wouldn’t judge him and use it to gossip, you could be there for him and bring him food and make sure he had somebody on his side.

“I brought this for you.” You said, turning to root through your school bag and pulled out a sandwich, a chocolate bar, and an apple as well as a bottle of soda.

You held the items out for Daryl who finally looked at you properly, he hid it well but you could see the shock on his face, the surprise that somebody was helping him.

“Don’t need y’to feed me.” He muttered, turning back to face the river and you bit back a sigh.

“I know you don’t.” You told him honestly because to get as far as Daryl had in his house he had probably had to fend for himself, he would see any small act as charity. Sure he had been fine swiping the half a piece of sandwich you left at lunch or the candy you left behind but he would struggle to accept something being outright given to him. “It’s for you though, you don’t have to eat it but it’s there.”

You left the food on the floor in between you and went back to sitting in silence. It was less than ten minutes later when Daryl’s hunger won out and you heard the wrapped being pulled from the sandwich and you had to bite back a relieved smile, watching as Daryl practically inhaled the food, glad to know he had something in him for the day.

It went on like that for months, every day after school you would walk down to the river, though walking through the woods still sent a shiver down your spine, especially when the winter meant that it got dark earlier. Each day you and Daryl would sit together, you always brought food for the two of you and mostly the silence would be filled by you. Daryl liked listening to you talk, it didn’t matter what you were saying he just liked listening. He spoke too, not much but whenever he did you always gave him your full attention, listening to every word he said like it was important.

He always walked you home, by the time you were standing to leave it was well into the night, sky dark and Daryl didn’t feel right letting you walk alone. So he led you through the woods and watched as you glanced around like something was going to jump out at you, it never did but even if something were to happen Daryl wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

By the time he had walked across town to your street, and the first time he had seen where you lived he flushed with embarrassment at the big house in the nice part of town, and walked back to his house his dad was usually passed out and Merle was either nursing his wounds with a beer or out doing whatever he got up to.

Daryl’s life still wasn’t good, it wasn’t enjoyable but the few hours a day he got to steal with you made it easier, it made him see that maybe there could be good in it, maybe he was allowed to feel happy.

When he started working on his bike, months into knowing you, he had to smile when you first saw it. You had looked at him like he was crazy and he probably looked it, split lip that kept bleeding when you made him smile, one eye swollen shut and all kinds of black and purple as he sat surrounded by a rundown bike and even more run down parts and tools.

“There’s no way you’re riding that if you ever build it.” You had told him as you sat down next to him and he felt his lip sting again as he smiled over at you.

“Course I am,” he told you confidently and chuckled as you shook your head, “you’re comin’ on it too.”

“Like hell I am!” You protested, pulling a face at the mess of a bike that lay on the floor in the middle of you.

“Sure ya are, not like I’m gonna let anything bad happen to ya.” Daryl said as he swiped at his lip with his tongue before screwing something into the bike, so focused on what he was doing that he missed the way your face softened into a smile as you could do nothing but stare at him for a second. “‘Sides this bike’ll be the best once I get it runnin’.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m getting on that death trap, even crazier if you think I’m letting you on it.” Daryl just grinned at you again as he put the spanner down and wiped his forehead with his arm. “How long have you been working on this thing anyway?”

“Couple hours? I dunno.” Daryl shrugged and you gave him a look that made his smile grow.

He still wasn’t used to that, it had been nearly a year since you had decided to join him out by the river and he still wasn’t used to smiling so damn much.

“Take a break, Dixon, time to eat.” You told him and he nodded at you as he moved around the bike to sit next to you, reaching over to wash his grease covered hands in the river as you pulled food and drinks out of your bag.

“Why the bike anyway?” You asked as the two of you were eating and Daryl shrugged before finishing his bite.

“Gotta have a way to get outta here someday.” He told you and the answer didn’t shock you, you knew Daryl wanted out of this town, wanted plenty of distance from his dad.

You couldn’t blame him, you were surprised he had stuck around this long but you supposed it wasn’t like he had the money to just up and leave. Part of you wanted to leave with him when he finally put this town behind him, just because your family lived in the nice part of town, just because you had money and food, didn’t mean that your parents were great people. Of course you didn’t have it as bad as Daryl, your parents didn’t hit you, didn’t starve you and let you go however long without a shower or didn’t give you a warm place to sleep. Your parents were just cold people, the kind that weren’t really meant to be parents but it was what was expected of them and you were expected to follow in their footsteps.

“Getting ready to leave me behind?” You asked jokingly but both of you could hear the sadness behind it and Daryl shook his head fiercely.

“Like hell imma leave you in this dump, ya coming with me.” Daryl told you and you couldn’t help but smile over at him, Daryl smiling right back at you and it was then you realised that you had already made your decision without thinking about it because you would follow Daryl Dixon wherever he went.

“Not on that thing.” You laughed and just like that the serious moment was gone and Daryl’s smile widened even as he rolled his eyes.

“Just wait, it’s gonna be great.” He assured you just to hear you laugh again.

It was anything but great. The thing roared to life and spluttered causing Daryl to groan and kick it before the engine ran properly and you gave him an incredulous look when he turned to face you.

“It’s gonna be great.” He told you again, repeating the words he had told you months ago.

“It’s a death trap!” You exclaimed, causing him to laugh and pick a helmet up off the floor before making his way over to you.

“I tested it before you even saw it ‘cause I knew you’d bitch about me gettin’ on the thing.” Daryl told you and you glared at him as he stopped in front of you. “Trust me, it’s good.”

With that he lifted the helmet and settled it over your head, smiling at the glare still on your face. He made sure the helmet was properly on you before he climbed onto the bike and held a hand out to help you on.

“Daryl-” You began but he cut you off.

“Trust me, you really think I’d let ya on here if I didn’t think ya were gonna be safe?” He had a point, Daryl might have had no regard for his own safety but when it came to you…God was he protective.

Daryl grinned when you sighed, knowing he had won and felt your hand in his as you got onto the bike, slotting behind him perfectly. His smile softened as he chuckled in amusement when your arms went around his waist, holding him in a death grip before the bike had even moved.

“Relax.” He told you over the noise of the engine and you just shook your head before he felt the helmet rest against the back of his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at you to know your eyes were screwed shut and he laughed again as he began to move the bike and your arms tightened even more around him.

“I hate this!” He heard you call over the sound of the bike speeding through the road and he smiled widely, one hand coming off the handle to squeeze your arm before he put it back, he was serious when he said he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.

Daryl had known you for long enough now that he struggled to remember his life without you by his side, he remembered a time where he struggled to think of one good thing in his life, struggled to remember what being happy was like, if he had even felt it before.

He knew he had never known true happiness before you arrived, before you broke past every wall he put up and made sure you were a part of his life despite the rumours and how it would have been better for you to stay away from the Dixon boy.

Now, in this moment, the bike carrying you two away from his street, your arms around his waist as you tucked yourself against his shoulder, he knew this was true happiness. You were his happiness and he would do everything he could to make sure you were happy too.

He had been ready for this moment for years, ready to leave everything behind and get away from this town. He had nothing left here, Merle had packed up and left years ago and his dad would soon be nothing but a distant memory.

He would have left so long ago but he refused to leave without you and even though you had been ready to leave with him he wanted to make sure you at least graduated first, you were smart, smarter than him and had a chance of a future doing whatever you wanted. He wouldn’t let you throw that away. If you wanted to come with him that was great, hell Daryl wanted nothing else, but if something happened one day and you wanted to leave then he was going to make sure you had a backup plan.

Daryl had the bike, he’d been working on it for ages now and it was a proper functioning bike. You had insisted on helping build it up, you were getting out of town on it and you’d be damned if it fell to pieces on you. Daryl had scoffed and told you it’d be fine only for you to show up the next day with all kinds of new, shiny pieces, you had no idea what they did but Daryl had been able to upgrade the bike even as he glared at you.

Daryl waited outside the school on his bike, the two of you had no real destination in mind but you were finally ready to leave. He watched you come out of the building and scan the area before your eyes landed on him and your whole face lit up as you ran over to him, Daryl’s hand already out for you to slide yours into as you climbed on the bike.

“Ready t’get the hell outta here?” Daryl asked as he passed the helmet back, ignoring the way you pushed his shoulder because he refused to wear one with a smile on his face.

“More than ready.” You told him as you secured the helmet on your head and wrapped your arms around him, thumb brushing up and down on his stomach as you rested your hands against him.

Things like this had been happening more too, touches between the two of you. You were usually the one to instigate them unless Daryl was feeling brave but they were there and Daryl was hyper aware of them all.

He knew he liked you, he’d be an idiot if he didn’t. Some part of him figured you liked him too, God he sounded like an idiot with all this does she like me does she not crap, but he was never quite brave enough to ask, to make a move. Instead he told himself the lingering touches were enough.

For years the lingering touches were enough, they had to be because whilst the two of you were brave enough to leave your town behind neither of you were brave enough to make the first move. For years you and Daryl had been at each other's side, travelling the country on Daryl’s homemade bike that had broken down plenty and despite all your protests to use the money you’d both earned doing odd jobs to buy a new bike Daryl refused to budge.

You don’t know what was different about tonight. Maybe it was because you’d made your way out to the west coast, the air cool as the sun had long since set and the moon cast a soft glow over the water in front of you and Daryl.

Maybe it was because it reminded you of a time many years ago when you had first realised you had like Daryl. It wasn’t much different than this night except instead of the massive stretch of ocean it was a river and where there had been nothing but twigs and dirt here there was warm sand.

Back then Daryl had been covered head to toe in bruises whereas now his skin was clear with the exception of a few scars that would never heal, scars that still ached him to this day.

Maybe it was just the kind of night where you reminisce and feel a sense of longing for a future that could be, a sense of regret for all the lost moments because neither one of you were brave enough to just tell the other how you felt. It was the kind of night where you realised that one day things could change before you knew it and you’d kick yourself for wasting the opportunity to tell Daryl how important he was to you, hate yourself for letting so much time pass where he didn’t know that.

Or maybe it was just the kind of night where you’d had too much to drink.

Either way you were ready, you were ready to say those words to him and you weren’t scared, you had never been scared in the whole time you had known Daryl. You were always safe when you were with him.

“You’re my best friend,” You found yourself saying, they weren’t the words you wanted to say, they weren’t the only words you would say tonight, but they felt like the right ones to start this conversation.

“You’re my best friend too, Y/N/N.” Daryl murmured, turning his head slightly to press his lips to your hair and you were both content to fall back into a peaceful silence, your head on Daryl’s shoulder as you stared at the water.

“Thank you,” You said after a long stretch of quiet and you lifted your head to see Daryl looking at you questioningly. “I never thanked you for getting me, for getting us out of that town. I’m glad we did it together.”

“Don’t gotta thank me for that.” Daryl told you and he smiled at you, this smile was maybe your most favourite one. Daryl didn’t smile for most people but for you he had a whole variety of smiles, this one though, the shy, almost flustered smile was your favourite. “But I’m real glad we left together too, can’t imagine doin’ this without you.”

“And you’ll never have to. You’re stuck with me, Daryl Dixon.” You grinned at him and his smile turned softer as he lifted his hand to your cheek and brushed his thumb along your cheekbone.

“Ain’t no one else in the damn world I’d rather have.” He told you and the two of you just smiled stupidly at each other for a long moment before you were both moving closer at the same time.

Daryl’s lips were slightly chapped as they brushed against yours, your eyes falling shut at the first touch. Neither of you had much experience and the kiss was slow and a little uncoordinated but felt like everything you had been waiting all those years for. It was every cliche in the book finally getting to kiss Daryl and you practically melted against him as you kissed until the need for air was too much and even then Daryl chased after your lips and placed small kisses against yours as you both tried to catch your breath.

“Waited so long to do that.” Daryl murmured against your lips, leaning forward to place a soft kiss against your lips again.

“Me too.” You breathed out, eyes finally opening as you leaned your forehead against Daryl’s and the two of you looked at each other with flushed faces and smiles pulling at your lips.

You had just met up with Merle back in Georgia when things had gone south. At first it didn’t seem like a big deal, just find some shelter, and stay inside for a few days which then turned into cities being bombed and communications being shut off and the dead roaming the streets.

If you had thought you were attached to Daryl’s side before this then it was nothing compared to now, you were practically his shadow, his hand always gripped in yours unless he needed to use his crossbow which made you wince each time.

Daryl knew you were scared, hell he was freaked out too though he had to do a damn good job of hiding it to make sure you didn’t panic more than you were. It had been easy at the start, he had told you it was just a virus or something, that it’d be fixed in weeks and the two of you would be back on the bike in no time.

Instead you’d somehow ended up with a group, being told that the cities were dangerous and bombs had been dropped. The first night in the camp you had cried for the first time in years and Daryl felt helpless, this wasn't something he could fix but he could damn well protect you, in all the years you’d known Daryl one of the things you had always told him was that he made you feel safe and that wasn’t about to change now.

So he did what he could to keep you safe. This time it was his job to make sure you were fed, when supplies ran low he gave you his share of food and water, you didn’t know of course, God he could already hear the argument if you were to find out. Any time there was danger, whether it be the walkers or fighting in the group, Daryl was always quick to put himself between you and it, much to the amusement of Merle but Daryl didn’t give a damn about whatever his brother had to say so long as you were safe. He kept you close to him, you were never out of his eyeshot, when night came he spent it waking up every few hours to make sure you were still safe and tucked against his chest.

Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going to happen, the world had fallen apart in front of them with no sign that it was going to fix itself. Daryl wasn’t holding out much hope of a cure like the rest of the group were, he could tell you wanted to believe in it but didn’t want to get your hopes up. He hated seeing the realisation on your face when you figured this was it for the world now but then he watched you look at him and some of the despair faded.

The world might have gone to shit but you and Daryl still had each other. Families had been separated but you and Daryl had been lucky to still have the other, something you would never take for granted. You didn’t know how you were meant to survive this, especially not when months later you’d all found out there really was no cure. You were still that scared kid from all those years back who jumped at every noise heard in the woods leading to the river but then, just like now, you had Daryl.

Daryl had one job, he promised himself it years before the world fell to pieces, and that was to keep you safe. It was a promise that was more important now than ever before. He trained you to track, something he had tried to do throughout the years but you always laughed it off, this time you listened to what he had to say because you knew it really was the difference between life and death. He taught you how to use a gun and he hated seeing you with it but he knew it had to be done just in case something happened to him and he couldn’t get to you.

Daryl had one job and that was to keep you safe and he would damn well make good on that promise and get you to whatever hope there was in a future after all of this, and there had to be something for you at the end of this, he’d make sure of that too.

__________

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Enough for You

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Angstember Prompt -  "I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you."

In the beginning, like most things were, it was good. It started with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your heart skipping a beat, it evolved into realisation of what your feelings were and hope that he could feel the same. It grew into stolen glances and longing until it finally turned into a desperate kiss, your face cupped in his hands and yours gripping the fabric of his robe.

Like all things, it started out good.

Of course once the two of you sorted through your feelings, once the two of you finally sat down together and confessed that you wanted more than friendship, it had to be kept a secret. Neither of you cared about that though, it was nice having something that was only yours. 

And for two years it was good.

You and Anakin hardly had that awkward stage at the beginning of your relationship, the one that consisted of dancing around each other as you got to know one another. You had been friends for years, you had met him when you were ten years old, your Master had fallen ill and had been confined to the Halls of Healing leaving you alone. Anakin had found you one day, struggling to meditate and that’s how Obi-Wan found his Padawan hours later, sat next to you as he taught you as his Master taught him.

From there on you and Anakin had become inseparable, a closeness that had many raising an eyebrow but only voiced concerns quietly to each other. Master Jedi may not have liked how close you were, a friendship that seemed like an attachment, but they couldn’t deny when your Master’s went on missions together you and Anakin worked flawlessly together. 

As the years passed the bond between you and Anakin only got stronger and stronger. The two of you were always at each other's side, training together, exploring the grounds and the Temple, sneaking out together and seeing Coruscant together. There had been occasions where you and Anakin had stolen one of the speeders so Anakin could show off to you, it always ended with you clinging to him as he took corners way too fast and Obi-Wan scolding the pair of you. 

Seven years of friendship seemed to fly by as fast as Anakin on a speeder and suddenly the two of you were seventeen. Neither of you particularly liked looking back on most of your time as seventeen years old, not when it was the first year that saw the two of you distancing yourselves from the other. 

It wasn’t as though you’d had a falling out with each other, it wasn't like you didn’t want to spend your days at his side but it was the first year that you both seemed to make sense of everything you had been feeling. Of course these feelings weren’t new to either of you, you had both been feeling them for years now but before they didn’t seem significant, they didn’t seem like something that needed to be looked into because they didn’t mean anything back then.

But now…now they meant something and you couldn’t be around Anakin without becoming flustered and he couldn’t be around you without flushing and stammering through a sentence. 

It wasn’t a pleasant eight months to say the least. Both of you had become so used to spending seven years attached to each other that to suddenly be without the other was lonely, there wasn’t a better word for it. Both of you were lonely and it was for that reason that you both eventually ended up sitting down with each other and telling each other how you felt.

Obviously it wasn’t an easy conversation. The Jedi had spent years drilling it into your heads about how attachments were wrong, about how loving a singular person was a one way path to the Dark Side. To confess your feelings to each other went against everything you had both been taught and yet it hadn’t stopped you. If any was going to break the Jedi Code then it would come as no shock to anybody that it would be you and Anakin.

After that conversation things quickly went back to normal and you and Anakin easily fell back into each other's lives like you’d never been separated. It worried many of the elder Jedi but others, like Obi-Wan and your own Master, were just relieved after having put up with eight months of grumpy and sad Padawan’s.

It wasn’t hard to keep your relationship a secret. By now you and Anakin knew plenty of hiding places in the Temple and the two of you disappearing for hours had long since stopped concerning people so nobody would come looking for you. It also helped that your Master’s tended to go on missions together so you and Anakin were able to sneak away there and explore the new sights together. There had been plenty of times you’d been in his chambers or him in yours and had nearly been caught locked at the lips but Anakin was quite good at multitasking and was always able to warn you before somebody entered the room, giving you a minute to compose yourselves.

In the time you had been dating Anakin had snuck you out of the Temple more times than you could count, always pulling you along with him to whatever surprise he had planned. Sometimes it was a picnic in a quiet place that took a long time to get to but it was always worth it. Other times it was to explore different things, join celebrations in the city, many times though it was a chance to blend in amongst the crowd and act like a normal couple. 

It might have been annoying at times to hide your relationship, neither you nor Anakin saw how it would lead you to the Dark Side, but you made it work.

And then Master Kenobi walked into his chambers, you and Anakin barely having time to pull away from each other as he did. Master Kenobi looked between the two of you with a look you couldn’t quite discern but it was gone just as quietly as he told you and Anakin you were to watch over the Senator of Naboo.

Anakin immediately beamed at the news causing you to raise an eyebrow but you shrugged it off and instead asking why you were going. It wasn’t rare for you to join Anakin and Obi-Wan on a mission but usually your Master joined though lately it was becoming less often as he got older. Obi-Wan just smiled at you and told you your Master had suggested it to the Council and they had agreed.

It wasn’t long until the three of you were on your way to meet the Senator. You liked to think you knew Anakin pretty well by now, liked to think you could read his easily but now as you stared at him, fingers tugging on the braid as his leg bounced you would have said, easily, that he was nervous. 

But what was there to be nervous about?

Obi-Wan too picked up on Anakin’s nerves as the three of you arrived at the Senate building and entered the turbolift up to the Senator’s apartment, glancing at his Padawan who fidgeted with his robes and tugged on the braid again.

“You seem a little on edge.” Obi-wan prompted, breaking the silence in the lift and you couldn’t help but stand straighter, waiting for Anakin’s response.

“Not at all.” Anakin replied, the words entirely unconvincing to you, causing your eyebrows to knit together as you frowned, folding your arms together. 

Obi-Wan continued on and you listened to the two of them bicker back and forth for a moment before the two of them laughed and Obi-Wan turned towards his Padawan, just looking for a second before he spoke.

“You’re sweating,” He told Anakin and you lifted your head slightly at that, looking at Anakin out of the corners of your eyes and seeing Obi-Wan was right. “Relax, take a deep breath.”

You had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a bad one, one that felt heavy and cold and you desperately tried to push it away. Nothing had happened, so what Anakin was nervous, so what he was acting like he had when the two of you didn’t speak in the eight months you had drifted apart because of your crush. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.” Anakin murmured quietly to Obi-Wan and you closed your eyes desperate to fight back any emotion, trying to force everything you were feeling out into the Force. 

Nothing more was said in the turbolift, Obi-Wan just let out a small sigh and Anakin frowned, glancing at you before doing a double take as if he had forgot you were there but you just looked ahead, acting as if you had missed the look before the door opened and you stepped out. 

Seeing the Senator of Naboo only made the cold feeling inside you grow. Of course she was beautiful, with her hair pulled up in an intricate design, his voice soft and light. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that seemed to light up as she looked at Anakin, looked at Ani. 

Of course she was beautiful. 

Anakin himself seemed even more nervous than he had been in the turbolift. As he addressed her a smile came across his face, shy and sweet and adoring. Then he went and called her beautiful and he wasn’t wrong but it still twisted the knife you felt had been plunged into you. 

Obi-Wan glanced away as Anakin stumbled over his words, a look on his face as if to say what in the stars is he doing before it was replaced by a concerned look as he took in the look on your face. You thought you were doing a better job at hiding it but apparently not, apparently there was enough hurt, enough jealousy and fear on your face to give something away. 

You forced yourself again to expel your feelings into the Force, perhaps too forcefully if the way Anakin turned to you and Obi-Wan’s raised eyebrows meant anything.

“Ah Senator, this is Padawan Y/F/N Y/L/N, she will be assisting in the protection of your safety.” Obi-Wan introduced you softly, sparing you another concerned glance but you forced a neutral look onto your face before bowing your head towards the Senator.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” She said in that soft tone of hers, a warm smile on her face as she held a hand out for you.

“Pleased to meet you, Senator.” You replied evenly, swallowing against the lump in your throat you reached out and shook her hand.

Obi-Wan began discussions about Padmé’s protection with Captain Typho and you listened half-heartedly though you didn’t take much in. You sat on one side of Obi-Wan and Anakin sat on the other, something which made Obi-Wan raise an eyebrow but as he looked at Anakin he saw his gaze was focused on Padmé and you were much more interested in your fingers playing with your robes than you were with him.

“-not to start an investigation.” You heard Obi-Wan tell the Senator but then Anakin quickly interrupted him in a way he wouldn't have had the Senator been anybody else.

“We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé.” At those words you glanced up, looking over far enough to see Obi-Wan’s look of disapproval, disapproval that only deepened at Anakin’s next words. “I promise you.”

As Obi-Wan argued against Anakin’s words you couldn’t help but look away again, not baring to look at Anakin or Padmé. He was trying to impress her, his mission here wasn’t about finding the person trying to kill her it was only to protect and yet here he was jumping at the chance to do as she asked, the chance to gain her favour. 

You knew it all too well because it was what he had done with you, in an effort to impress you any time you said you wanted something Anakin wouldn’t hesitate to do it in hopes that you would like him more. Of course you hadn’t realised that was what he was doing until after you were dating but now you saw it clear as day.

The cold feeling in your stomach only grew as Anakin argued with Obi-Wan, desperate to find the person trying to kill the Senate. You hated the sudden stinging in your eyes and your lips quivered as you tried to fight tears back. There was no use getting upset, you could still be blowing this out of proportion.

And yet something told you you weren’t. You didn’t have a good feeling about this mission.

It wasn’t long until everyone retired from the meeting leaving you, Anakin and Obi-Wan alone. Anakin went out to the balcony and Obi-Wan followed behind him. You stayed where you were on the sofa, barely noticing them leave as your mind was clouded with sadness and anger. 

Perhaps this is why the Jedi didn’t let you fall in love, to form attachments. 

Of course you weren’t planning on falling to the Dark Side just because Anakin had a crush on the Senator but you could see how a Jedi could fall. How the anger and pain at losing a loved one in such a way, a way that would create jealousy and hatred, could lead to a Jedi falling. 

You loved Anakin with all your heart. At first it had scared you just how much power Anakin held over you, how he had the ability to break you with just a few words but then months passed, beautiful and joyous months that settled your nerves. He was it for you, there would never be another.

You had once thought he felt the same for you.

He said he hadn’t seen the Senator for ten years, a year before he met you. All that time he had spent with you she was somewhere in his mind, however distant, she was there. You had seen his face when she spoke to him, the guilt as he glanced at you in the turbolift, he had always had her in his mind.

Whilst your entire heart was his, he only shared a bit of his with you, some part of it always belonged to her even if he had been but a child when he first met her.

You lay on the sofa, facing the back of it and closed your eyes but it did nothing to stop the tears that slid from them and it took all your effort to cry silently, to push the sobs you felt down. 

You had never been his, not in the way he had been yours. 

“I’d much rather dream about Padmé.” You heard Anakin tell Obi-Wan as they stepped closer to the main room, “just being around her again is intoxicating.”

“And what of Y/N?” You heard Obi-Wan ask and your blood ran cold again as you forced yourself to relax as they entered the room, not wanting them to know you were awake. You missed the questioning glance Anakin shot towards Obi-Wan, surely the man couldn’t know. “I would have thought after spending so many years at her side, Padmé wouldn’t have filled your thoughts.”

Anakin was silent for a long moment, a moment that you spent trying to stay quiet, even as sobs built up in your throat.

“Of course when I’m with Y/N it’s different. They’re so different from each other that Padmé doesn’t cross my mind all that often but I still think about her. I still dream about her some days, the angel I met on Tatooine.” Anakin’s words had you pleading with the Force, desperate to stay silent even as you felt your heart break. “Y/N is my best friend but compared to Padmé-”

“And here I thought Y/N meant more to you than that.” Obi-Wan murmured thoughtfully, causing Anakin to still and turn to face his Master.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin asked defensively.

“Nothing, young Padawan, just that I have spent years watching you and Y/N, watching as your friendship grew. I suggest if you feel this way for Padmé you tell Y/N how you feel. Not that it should matter of course, you swore your commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment that forbids attachment, not that I need to remind you of that, right Padawan?” You felt your heart skip a beat at Obi-Wan’s words because he knew- he knew about you and Anakin.

There was no doubt about it, Obi-Wan had to know why else would bring you up at all? If you were truly just a friend to Anakin why would he have to tell you that he loved the Senator. Obi-Wan knew about you and Anakin, how long had he known? Why had he let the two of you carry on instead of turning you over to the Council for such a blatant breach of the Code?

“Of course not, Master. I am well aware of the Code.” Anakin told him evenly, glancing away from his Master.

As the two of them spoke you felt something shift, a disturbance that had you frowning as you tried to figure out whether it was something in the Force warning you of danger or if it were simply your own emotions.

“I sense it too.” You heard Obi-Wan say and you sat up in time to see them running into the Senator’s room. 

You quickly wiped your eyes on your robe and followed behind them and watched as Anakin pulled his lightsaber out, dealing with whatever had been about to harm the Senator. 

You were able to ignore your feelings as you took in the scene but then Obi-Wan told you to watch over the Senator as he and Anakin went to track down the droid and though you hated the thought you nodded and watched them leave.

You glanced at the Senator and found the feelings slamming into you, the pain and the hurt and the anger all too overwhelming.

“Are you alright?” Padmé asked you, even in the darkness of the room she could see the redness of your eyes.

“Just fine.” You told her evenly, voice coming out cold as you tried to choke back your emotions, scanning the room once before leaving. The Senator followed behind you, though you wished she’d just go back to sleep so you could have a minute alone to process everything.

“You don’t like me much, do you?” She asked, sitting on the sofa opposite you.

“I don’t know you.” You answered as close to the truth as you could get because the truth was no, you didn’t like her all that much. How could you? You were more than aware it wasn’t her fault, she was beautiful, what had Anakin called her, an angel?

He was right about that and you hated it. 

“And yet you look at me like I’m your enemy.” She told you and you couldn’t help but frown as you looked away from her. “Does this have something to do with Ani?”

Ani, you hated the way the word fell from her lips like it was familiar. 

“No, Senator. Like I said I don’t have a problem with you, I don’t know you. You really should go back to sleep.” You told her, still not able to bring yourself to look at her, knowing if you did you would only be able to compare yourself to her, to wonder what she had that you didn’t.

Why was she good enough for Anakin and you weren’t? You who had spent years at his side, years giving him all your love, giving him your heart.

“I can hardly sleep after another attempt on my life.” She told you lightly and you could feel her gaze on you. All you wanted to do was leave, to make her look away, to scream and cry and curse the world but you couldn’t do any of that right now. “Besides, I'd much rather talk to you, to find out why you don’t like me.”

You took a deep breath, forcing your emotions into the Force again but there were too many and they just kept building up and you knew eventually they’d explode from you. You needed to be alone desperately, all you wanted was to be alone.

“It is Anakin, isn’t it?” She pushed and if she kept prodding you knew she would be the one your emotions turned on. “Wait, do you like Anakin? I didn’t think the Jedi were-”

You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t listen to her piece the situation together, couldn’t listen as she laughed at how foolish someone like you was for falling for someone like Anakin when someone like her existed. 

You stood abruptly from your seat causing Padmé to say your name softly but you ignored her and strode from the room, ignoring as the Senator called after you. You knew Obi-Wan would scold you for this later, for leaving the Senator alone barely ten minutes after her assassination attempt. You knew if something happened to her you’d have more problems than a telling off from Obi-Wan but right now you didn’t care.

All you cared about was being as far away from her and from Anakin and from everybody as you could be. 

You eventually found an empty room not too many floors down from the Senator’s apartment. The view was beautiful but you hardly noticed it as you sat on the floor, the only light coming from the floor to ceiling windows. 

You let your eyes fall closed, let all your emotions come to the surface and let the tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. A few sobs may have escaped you but you didn’t hear them as you tried to push your feelings into the Force but you couldn’t, they were too strong and they seemed to cling to you, making you feel every bit of them.

You didn’t know how long passed until the door opened as somebody sat next to you. You knew it was Anakin, you knew what he felt like in the Force better than you knew yourself. The feeling in the pit of your stomach seemed at its heaviest, at its coldest and you really didn’t have a good feeling about this conversation.

You knew what was going to happen, knew it had to happen and yet you were completely unprepared. You had never had to be without Anakin, even in those few months you had grown apart you didn’t cut yourself off from him completely but after this you didn’t know if you could look at him again without breaking down.

“You love her.” You said stoically when it became clear he wasn’t going to speak first.

“I don’t want to.” He told you, voice shaking as he spoke and you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left you.

“But you love her.” You said, voice breaking as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.

“I love you too.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to know that. 

“But you love her more, right? Otherwise I would have been enough for you. If you loved me as much as I love you then there wouldn’t be room for another in your heart.” You had yet to open your eyes, you didn’t think you could look at him, not with your emotions this close to the surface.

“I can’t help it, Y/N. If I could get rid of my feelings for her I would have done it years ago but I can’t. She’s always in my mind, sometimes she’s in my dreams and seeing her again brought those feelings forward again.” Anakin told you, sniffing as he fought back his own tears.

“I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you. I wish you cared enough about me to spare my feelings, to spare me the humiliation-” 

“I didn’t know I was going to meet her again! I thought I’d never see her again and I love you. I love you dearly, Y/N, don’t ever think I don’t.” Anakin exclaimed and you finally opened your eyes.

He was sat next to you, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at you with wide eyes but you shook your head.

“You don’t love me, Anakin.” You told him coldly, forcing your tears to stop if only for a few moments, “You don’t because I love you and I know that I would never do this to you. You were the only person I cared for this much, the only person I loved enough to break the Code for. I would have done anything for you, Anakin, anything. Now I feel as though I’m looking at a stranger.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t say that. I love you, all our years together-”

“We’re nothing more to you than a distraction from Padmé!” You exclaimed standing up and wiping your eyes angrily. 

“Don’t say that!” Anakin shot back, standing up as well.  “Don’t ever say that, don’t think it. My time with you was real, it was honest, every moment and every word of it. Don’t erase it now, Y/N.”

“Two years we have been together, loved each other for much longer. You were my best friend, Anakin.” You told him, your voice breaking as he stared at you with wide, pleading eyes. “You knew her for moments compared to us, met her when you were only a child and yet somehow she is more important to you than I could ever be.”

“Y/N,” He pleaded with you but no other words came out of his mouth.

“You broke my heart Anakin. I always knew you had the power to do it but, stars, I never thought you actually would.” You laughed, a sad sob of a laugh. “I really hope she was worth it Anakin, I hope she makes you so happy.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t do this.” Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he pleaded with you but you shook your head.

“I’m not the one doing this, Anakin. You’re the one who let me fall in love with you whilst your heart belonged to another. This is all on you. You are the reason I have lost not only the love of my life but my best friend too.” You told him, your voice breaking again as you fought tears back.

“I’m sorry.” He told you, his voice barely above a whisper and you shook your head, turning to leave the room, sparing him one last glance. 

“I really hope she’s worth it.” You told him, a smile, shaky and filled with sadness and bitterness and anger spreading across your face as Anakin’s eyes fell closed and you left the room, leaving behind the man you loved with a broken heart and tears falling from your eyes.

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He's Coming For You, I Promise

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Angstember Prompt -  "You have to wake up. Please wake up, for me."

It wasn’t that your Master didn’t trust you to go out alone, you knew he didn’t doubt your abilities but he did prefer having you close by, preferred to have you within arms length so that if a situation happened to turn bad he could keep an eye on you. You didn’t hate his protectiveness but you did wish that during one of the few times he had let you go off without him after much arguing on your behalf, wanting to prove you could do something without his help, that it didn’t go terribly wrong.

Thankfully he hadn’t sent you in completely alone but still the one man he had sent with you was fairing just as well against the droid army, who were definitely not supposed to be there, as you were. Cody and you were back to back with one another, him blasting as many droids as he could whilst you used both your lightsaber and the Force to do the same.

The mission was supposed to be fairly easy, the Jedi Council had enough intel about this base to know that it had been abandoned fairly quickly and that there could be information that was useful to them left behind. You had it on good authority that there may be a few droids who were left but the army had been taken.

It should have been a straight forward mission, you and Cody walk into the base, search it for anything that could help the Jedi and leave. Maybe take down one or two droids whilst you were there but nothing overly taxing.

Instead you and Cody had landed and it had been quiet, no defences, no droids, nothing but the abandoned base you were promised. It wasn’t until you got to the door that the droid army flooded out, surrounding you on all sides before you could even register what had happened. From there it all seemed to be a blur until you saw Cody go flying to the floor and you were blocking hits from every direction.

It was useless to fight back, impossible to gain the upper hand against so many droids. You tried to use your comms link to alert your Master, to alert anyone who might be listening, but at some point during the fight the comms link that rested on your wrist had been hit and only silence came from it.

Sweat ran from your forehead and your breathing was coming out in pants as you continued swinging your lightsaber in one hand and the other was directing droids into each other, tossing them as far back into each other using the Force as possible in a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand.

You fought back as hard as you could, mind screaming in hope that Obi-Wan would sense your distress through the Force wherever he might be. Just like the comms link you only heard silence. 

One of the droids managed to catch you off guard, somehow landing a hit that had your lightsaber flying out of your hand and your hand itself was left in burning pain. Before you even had time to react, to use the Force to guide your lightsaber back to you, shocks ran throughout your entire body as you twitched and screamed before everything turned dark.

“And once Master Windu and his men have completed the ground assault we’ll come in from here and here,” Anakin instructed, his gaze on the holo map as he pointed to different points of entry. 

The words were lost to Obi-Wan, he had been listening to his former Padawan until he felt something that had him tensing, hand moving towards the lightsaber on his hip as he tried to figure out exactly what was wrong.

“Master?” Anakin asked, finally looking away from the map and over to Obi-Wan, taking in his far away look and tense form. “Master!”

“Something’s wrong.” Obi-Wan murmured, a frown on his face as he felt fear through the bond you shared and his heart almost stopped as he felt the bond go silent. “Have we had word from Y/N or Cody?”

“No Sir, they haven’t checked in yet.” Rex told him and Obi-Wan felt panic building inside him. 

“Anakin, you’ll have to lead this mission without me and send my apologies to Master Windu.” Obi-Wan told him, already ordering for a cruiser to be ready for him as he turned to leave.

“Wait, Master!” Anakin called, following Obi-Wan and stopping him with a hand to his arm, “What’s happening?”

“Something has happened to Y/N, maybe Cody too. I have to go.” Obi-Wan told him shortly, tugging his arm away from Anakin and making his way to the hangar bay, glancing towards Anakin as he continued to follow him.

“You’re sure they’re in danger? Maybe they’re just-” Anakin began, knowing full well how quickly missions could turn and make it impossible to check in.

“They’re in danger, she’s, Y/N’s in danger, Anakin, and I sent her there.” Obi-Wan told him, desperately trying to keep his emotions at bay, to stop the onslaught of images that invaded his mind of all the things that could be happening to you. “I sent her there.”

“Master,” Anakin said, struggling for words. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d saw Obi-Wan like this, “She’ll be fine-”

“You can’t guarantee that Anakin.” Obi-Wan protested, cutting Anakin off again.

“Yes I can because you trained her and even if something has happened she’ll still be fine because you’re going to make sure she is. She knows you’re coming, Obi-Wan.” Anakin told him, the two of them coming to a stop outside of the cruiser and Obi-Wan turned towards his old Padawan, worry clear in his eyes but his shoulders did drop a little as the tension left them at his words. “Bring them home safe, Master.”

As you came back to yourself you groaned as shocks pulsed throughout your entire body. You tried to open your eyes but found they were too heavy, your entire body felt heavy, your body being forced to stay upright making you feel every bit of pain from the shocks.

“Sir?” You heard somebody call and it took a few moments to register that the voice belonged to Cody.  You tried to answer him but all that left your lips was another pained groan as your body jolted weakly as it was shocked once more. “Can you hear me?”

It seemed like an eternity passed before you managed to pull your eyes open, blinking them shut harshly despite the fact the room wasn’t that well lit. After a few more seconds though you managed to open them properly and looked over to where Cody was being held next to you, his own body pulsing with the shocks.

“Where are we?” You managed to ask weakly, crying out softly as more shocks hit you.

“I’m not sure,” Cody told you, pausing to let out a pained grunt before continuing, “nobody has been in since I woke up. I can’t send word to the General either.” He told you, nodding down to the broken comms unit on his wrist.

“Obi-Wan,” You began but cut yourself off as the shocks seemed to get worse all of a sudden, one after the other in rapid motion, the intensity of them increasing with each one and you couldn’t stop the tears that poured down your face. “Obi-Wan please,” You started to say but the pain became too much and you slipped off again.

Obi-Wan could hardly remember the trip to the planet you were on, what he did know is that it was much too far away. It was just over two days after he had set off that he was landing on the planet's sandy ground, cursing himself for sending you so far away, anything could have happened to you in the two days' travel.

Since he couldn’t land outside the base he had landed a few klicks away, thankfully it wasn’t too far a distance and before long he could see the base as well as the damage you and Cody must have caused before something happened to you.

The number of droids was alarming to say the least, dozens of them lay defeated at his feet and these were just the ones two people were able to take down, Obi-Wan shuddered to think just how many there had been. Clearly their intel had been very wrong, to go from an abandoned base to one protected by a droid army.

As he walked further down towards the entrance he paused as something glistened under the suns and felt his heart sink as he saw your lightsaber laying there, knowing you wouldn’t lose it unless something had happened to you.

Obi-Wan shook his head as he picked it up before he forced himself to move, no time to think about what it meant now, the only important thing was getting you out alive.

“You have to stay awake, Y/N.” Cody said from somewhere at your side but your eyes remained shut.

You had no idea how long you’d been here, in the time you had been there though multiple creatures had entered the room, all of them demanding information about things you didn’t even know about. You were only a Padawan and told them as much, it wasn’t like you were a member of the Council, you had no idea of the information they knew.

Still the creatures refused to believe you and each of them had different tactics to make you talk, all of them ending with you sobbing, bleeding, screaming and pleading for Obi-Wan. Your body was exhausted and battered, your throat was painfully sore from the screaming and you struggled to stay awake. When they weren’t torturing you they had you held up in a containment field and continued to shock you every few seconds, your body never getting a single moment of relief.

“Open your eyes, Sir.” Cody demanded hoarsely, he wasn’t in as bad a state as you were, having only been bound and shocked repeatedly. You knew he would have traded places with you in a heartbeat but the creatures only wanted you, they figured a Padawan of a Jedi Council member must hold all the knowledge Obi-Wan had.

“Obi-Wan,” You managed to choke out, tears silently running down your face as each breath pained you. “Obi-”

“He’s coming for you,” Cody promised and you tried to open your eyes, tried to look over at him but it was so hard to move your body. “He’s coming for you, Y/N, I promise but you have to stay awake, you hear me?”

You wanted to tell him that yes, you heard him but your body refused to cooperate, refused to do as you wanted it to. Instead you felt yourself drifting off again, Cody’s voice eventually fading into nothing as you lost consciousness. 

The base was a large, almost factory-like building with many doors and although Obi-Wan managed to enter the base without much difficulty, taking out a droid or two, he was having a much more difficult time locating you now that he couldn’t feel you through the Force though he refused to think about that too much, refused to let himself think about what it could mean.

“Oh no, a Jedi.” One of the droids said once Obi-Wan had made his way deep enough into the building to find a section that had much more activity.

“Where is the girl?” He asked, lightsaber raised at the ready.

When he received nothing but threats he was quick to take down the droids until one remained and he watched as it dropped its gun to point down a long corridor. With a nod he made quick work of that droid too so it didn’t alert whoever was holding you of his presence. 

He made his way down the corridor, lightsaber in front of him lighting his path down. He listened as he passed each door and began to lose hope in this direction, figuring the droid had been lying when he saw two more stood in front of a door a few more steps away from him.

Obi-Wan didn’t hesitate to move forward, quickly dismantling the two droids before letting out an annoyed huff when he tried the door only to realise it could only be accessed with a facial scan. It didn’t take him more than a second to jam the lightsaber through the door, cutting a circle big enough for him to get through and using the Force to quickly move the piece.

“General?” He heard a hoarse voice from inside as he climbed through to see Cody. “General, she needs you.”

At those words his attention turned to where Cody nodded, his heart stopping as he saw you being held up, your body was slumped in on itself. From where he stood at the door he could see bruises and blood and he could only watch in horror as your body weakly jolted as shocks assaulted you.

Quickly he snapped himself out of his frozen state and ran over to you, easily freeing you from the binds holding you in place and catching you as you fell. It didn’t take him much effort to pick you up, carrying you in his arms as he made his way to Cody, freeing him from his binds too and handing him a blaster.

“It’s good to see you, Sir.” Cody said, relief clear in his voice and Obi-Wan nodded as he tightened his grip on you though still being careful of the many wounds. “She knew you’d come.” 

Those words sent a warm feeling through him and he had to force it down until he knew you were going to be ok. 

“It’s good to see you too, now let’s get out of here.” Obi-Wan said and thankfully whoever was holding you still didn’t seem to know Obi-Wan had broken in and rescued the two of you. There was no struggle getting out of the building, Cody dealing with a few droids here and there but nothing like when you had first arrived.

It was as you all boarded the ship the droid army flooded out of the building and Obi-Wan was quick to start the engine and put some much needed distance between you and them, narrowly avoiding the shots being fired at them.

“What in the stars happened out here?” Obi-Wan asked Cody, glancing back to where he had placed you in one of the seats, his robe wrapped around you as you remained unconscious. 

“There were so many of them, Sir, no matter how hard we fought back, more of them kept coming. They got me first, I-I should have protected her but-”

“Cody, this isn’t your fault.” Obi-Wan assured but the trooper just sighed before continuing.

“I woke first and we were being held in that room. Nobody came in whilst I was awake but once Y/N woke these creatures came and started,” Cody cut himself off as fury ran through his veins, hating how useless he had been, not able to free himself to help you, “Sir, they tortured her, they wanted information about a holocron? Something about all future Jedi? I don’t know, Sir, but they seemed to think Y/N had the information they wanted. She’s been in and out of consciousness for a while but passed out not long before you got there.” 

The rest of the trip was fairly silent. It was a two day journey back and in that time you hadn’t woken up once. Obi-Wan had to force himself not to panic, to focus on getting you back home and straight to the medical facility. 

Cody had taken over flying the ship after a day's rest with the instruction that Obi-Wan should be with you and Obi-Wan was hardly going to protest to that. As he sat beside you, holding your hand gently in his as his thumb brushed the bruised skin he couldn’t stop the tears that came to his eyes. 

“You have to wake up.” He whispered to you as he lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a soft gentle kiss to the back of it as he let the tears fall down his cheeks. “Please wake up, for me.”

His desperate plea received no response and he could do little more than sit by your side and cry until he was forced to collect himself as Cody landed the ship and he lifted you into his arms again. 

Anakin was already waiting in the hangar bay along with Rex, a medical droid beside them and transport waiting to take you to the medical facility. He shot Anakin a thankful look, his former Padawan nodding back with a sympathetic smile before his gaze strayed down to you in Obi-Wan’s arms. 

Obi-Wan lay you down as gently as possible, his robes still covering your body and most of the visible bruises, though the two who had gathered to greet you winced at the cuts and bruises on your face, Obi-Wan having cleaned the blood as best he could on the journey back.

“I have to check in with the Council,” Obi-Wan announced after the medical droid promised to take you over to the medical facility, “Cody make sure you’re treated too.”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin protested as the medical droid and Cody left with you, “the Council can wait, she needs you now.”

“I’m not sure what help I can be to her now, Anakin. At least by speaking to the Council we can arrange further investigation into exactly what happened out there.” Obi-Wan told him but truthfully all he wanted to do was follow you, hating to be separated from you when he’d only just gotten you back.

“Well fill me in and I’ll inform the council of what happened out there.” And in that moment Obi-Wan had never been more thankful for the man in front of him, a grateful smile spreading across his face as he reached up to squeeze Anakin’s shoulder.

“Thank you Anakin.” He said, trying to get across just how much he meant those words and the smile Anakin gave him in return showed his meaning was clear and so with that he told Anakin what Cody had told him before parting ways and making his way over to you.

By the time he arrived at the medical facility you were still being patched up by the medical droids, bacta salve covering most of your body as they worked on stitching cuts Obi-Wan hadn’t even seen. He stood back and let them work though he desperately wanted to be next to you. He noticed Cody in the bed next to yours, armour completely removed as he rested, the exhaustion finally taking over knowing that the two of you were home and safe. 

The medical droids seemed to work on you for hours but eventually they pulled away from you, running one last check to make sure you were ok before they left, one of them making their way over to Obi-Wan.

“Is she going to be ok?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“She has suffered severe electro shocks, we cannot confirm how much harm this has done until she is awake. She may be fine, sore but fine, or she may lose feeling in certain areas. The burns will heal with repeated treatments. Her breathing is stable after the shocks caused some difficulty. Her wounds are treatable, repeated treatments will see them clearing up though some may scar. She will be fine.” The medical droid told him and Obi-Wan almost sobbed in relief at hearing last those four words.

“Thank you,” He said tearfully, “When will she wake?”

“I cannot say. After the abuse her body has withstood it has forced itself to shut off, both to stop feeling the pain and because of the exhaustion she felt. It could be a matter of hours or days but she will wake.” The droid said and Obi-Wan drew a shaky breath, nodding his thanks before making his way over to the chair that had been left at the side of your bed.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Obi-Wan whispered, the words mumbled against the back of your hand that he had taken in his and brought up to his lips to press a gentle kiss to, “I should never have sent you out there, I should have been with you.”

Eventually Obi-Wan’s tears stopped falling and it wasn’t long until he fell asleep with his head resting on the bed, hand still entwined with yours.

Days passed with no movement from you, Obi-Wan only had the constant beep of the heart monitor telling him you were ok as he sat by your side day in and day out. There was a war going on outside the room, one that he should be involved in, giving orders to men who counted on him and yet he found that he didn’t care. Anything that took him away from your side wasn’t worth it.

Thankfully Anakin hadn’t hesitated to fill Obi-Wan’s space, telling his Master that he would make sure everything was going to plan and his only job was making sure you made a full recovery. Obi-Wan hadn’t thought he could feel more grateful towards Anakin than he had the day he’d arrived back at base with you but his former Padawan continued to prove him wrong.

Even though you had yet to wake your injuries were healing themselves, the burns had eased, the bruises had faded and most of your stitches had been removed. The only thing left was for your body to overcome the exhaustion so that you could wake up. 

“How is she doing?” Anakin asked as he entered the medical facility, Rex, Ashoka and Cody, who had been released some days ago after receiving the all clear, all in tow.

“Still sleeping.” Obi-Wan sighed, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand. 

“She’ll wake soon, Master.” Anakin assured as he sat on your other side, reaching up to brush a piece of hair back from your face. 

Obi-Wan didn’t doubt Anakin’s words, he knew you were strong, knew that you’d push through but the waiting was agonising, all he wanted was for you to open your eyes, to see that you were ok.

You come back to wakefulness and the first thing you noticed was that you couldn’t feel any pain, a few aches here and there but nothing compared to the pain you had felt the last time you were awake and blessedly you couldn’t feel any more shocks. 

You tried to pry your eyes open but found they wouldn’t cooperate which sent a spike of anxiety through you, you wanted to open them, wanted to see where you were and if you were safe, you wanted to know that Cody was ok.

A soft, quiet voice stopped you from attempting to open your eyes and you felt an overpowering sense of relief and happiness once you were able to identify just who the voice belonged to. 

“I really do wish you’d wake up, Y/N.” He whispered, he wasn’t alone in his worry for you anymore. Your friends' worry grew with each passing day and the medical droids had been stumped after two weeks passed with no movement from you. “We all miss you. I miss you, Y/N, I miss you terribly despite being by your side everyday. I miss your laugh, I miss seeing your eyes, miss seeing them light up. I shouldn’t care so much for you, I know the Jedi would condemn me for having such an attachment to you but I find it impossible to stop myself when it comes to you. I wish I were brave enough to tell you but- that doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you get better. I should never have sent you to that base, I should have been by your side the way it has been since our first day together. I just- I really wish you’d wake up.”

You couldn’t move if you wanted to but in that moment you were glad you were frozen, not wanting a single twitch of your finger to cut Obi-Wan’s words off, not when they were the very ones you’d longed to hear. 

You felt the gentle kiss pressed to the back of your hand, felt his thumb brushing against the same place but no more words left his lips. You didn’t mind, more content to feel his touch as it soothed your panic away over your frozen state. 

Even if you couldn’t move yet, even if you couldn’t force your eyes to open, it didn’t matter. You knew you were safe, Obi-Wan had saved you and he was sitting by your side. Whenever Obi-Wan was around you knew you were safe, knew that no harm would come to you and that helped you drift off into an actual sleep for the first time in weeks. 

The second time you woke you were worried you were still in that base, bound and waiting for any chance of rescue but then you felt the hand in yours and knew you were safe, knew Obi-Wan’s words and soft touches hadn’t been a dream but instead it was reality and you found this time around you could blink awake. 

Your eyes were heavy and it took a few attempts to pry them open but eventually you managed, scrunching them shut against the bright lights in whatever room you were in, probably the medical facility if Obi-Wan had his way and you weren’t conscious to fight him over it. 

You couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across your face as you saw Obi-Wan, his hand was still holding yours but he was slumped over in the uncomfortable chairs the medical facility had, his head resting on the mattress next to your hip. You could see his face clearly and the dark circles under his eyes, had he stayed with you this whole time? That’s what he had said, right, ‘I miss you terribly despite being by your side everyday’.

Your smile grew wider until it was taken away as pain spread through your body as you tried to shift, Obi-Wan immediately sitting up, worry clear in his bleary eyes. 

You saw the exact moment his sleep-addled mind recognised you were awake, watching as his eyes widened and he seemed to freeze, only able to stare at you in shock. The shock quickly faded into relief, his shoulders relaxing at seeing your eyes open for the first time in however long it had been. 

“Y/N,” he said, the word so soft, barely a whisper like he was afraid he was dreaming this moment, like the second he spoke the scene would shift back to your unconscious body. 

You couldn’t stop the tears that filled your eyes at hearing his voice. Even though you had seen him, seen the medical facility and knew Obi-Wan had saved you there was still some part of you that needed something more, needed to hear Obi-Wan again to know you were truly ok. 

“It’s alright, Y/N,” Obi-Wan told you, keeping his voice soft as he watched tears flow uncontrollably down your cheeks. Sobs of relief, of fear, of overwhelment leaving you and he was quick to move from the chair to join you on the bed, enough room on it for him to lay down next to you and pull you into his chest. “You’re ok, I have you now.”

You clung to Obi-Wan’s robe, letting him surround you completely both in the Force and in person, his comforting, soothing presence letting you know just how safe you were. Obi-Wan’s whispered words of comfort, of praise, washed over you and you could do little else but lean into the man, letting him hold you, fingers running up and down your arm as he somehow pulled you even closer.

You couldn’t say just how long you lay there for just letting Obi-Wan hold you but eventually your tears turned into little sniffs. You made no move to pull away from him, attempting to burrow yourself deeper into his chest and smiling when you felt the man chuckle.  

“You’re safe.” Obi-Wan promised you, mumbling the words into your hair before placing a soft kiss there. “I have you, you’re alright.”

“Obi-Wan,” you whispered into his chest, gripping the fabric of his robe even tighter in your fist, “Obi-Wan.”

“I’m here, dear one, I have you now.” Obi-Wan assured you.

“Thank you,” you said, repeated the words a few times before Obi-Wan shushed you, silencing you gently and bringing one hand up to cup the back of your head, playing with your hair causing you to relax further into him, eyes falling closed knowing you could drift off again safe in the man’s arms, knowing no harm could come to you so long as were here.

________

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Forget Me

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Prompt -  “'Cause I'm not ready to find out you know how to forget me, I'd rather hear how much you regret me and pray to the stars that you never met me than forget me.”

Han Solo knew he had messed up when he watched your face shift, gone was the hurt and anger, your tears seeming to vanish between one blink and the next and he just knew that this was it. He knew he had pushed you too far this time and he wondered if the two of you would come back from this one.

Throughout the years people had struggled to understand your relationship with Han, it always seemed the two of you were arguing, finding something to fight about and hardly even seemed at peace with one another. Of course you had been happy, you had moments of genuine joy around him, moments when you were bursting with so much love for each other. Then there were times when you rubbed each other the wrong way, you refused to budge and see things from his point of view, he’d completely disregarded something you’d said and cause a world of avoidable trouble.

When you fought it was usually done exactly how you loved each other, wild and passionate and hard to control. There was shouting and crying and one of you was always glaring or scowling, it was how Han knew things were ok between you. It sounded odd to outsiders but when Han saw you glaring over at him as he ranted he knew you’d be ok afterwards.

Never in all your fights had he watched you turn stony faced, seemingly shoving your emotions deep down and bricking them up. It set him on edge, he knew something about this fight was different even if it wasn’t as bad as some of your more explosive ones had been but for some reason this seemed to be the one that tipped you over the edge.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You told him quietly, the silence having passed for long enough to set Han even further on edge and your words had his blood running cold.

The two of you had been through so much together, fought side by side, risked your lives for each other, held each other when things got rough and loved each other more passionately than Han had ever thought possible. You couldn’t leave, not after everything. Part of him hoped you weren’t serious, hoped that this was just a cold move on your part to win the argument but he knew you weren’t like that, no matter how nasty some of your fights got.

“Come on, Y/N,” He said anyway, hoping that he was wrong and you were just playing games. He kept his voice lighter that he felt, a joking edge to it that had you swallowing hard and desperately trying to push down every emotion you felt. 

“I’m serious, Han. This is exhausting, it’s the same damn argument over and over. I tell you it’s stupid and reckless and you jump head first into anyway and it usually ends up coming back to me. I mean how many times has somebody sent bounties after me because of something stupid you did. We go back and forth and it’s going to end with one of us dead these days.” You told him, trying your hardest to keep your voice from shaking and the tears from filling your eyes.

“Baby don’t do this. You want me to stop, I’ll stop right here and now.” Han said, knowing you were deadly serious and hating it. He hated how you were right, hated that you pointed out how much danger he put you in when all he wanted was to protect you. 

“How many times have you promised me that?” You whispered and he felt his heart drop because, again, you always had to be right.

“You can’t just walk away from us, Y/N/N, not after everything.” He pleaded with you taking a step closer only to feel his heart ache as you took a step back.

“I’m tired, Han. We’re fighting a war and we’re fighting each other, I can’t do both, I’m exhausted.” You felt like the entire galaxy was weighing you down most days. Days like today where you had stood beside Leia and watched so many from your army, so many friends, die and all you wanted was to come back to your rooms and take comfort from Han.

Instead you had ended up in a screaming match with him, feeling completely and utterly drained to your bones. You had nothing left to give this relationship, you barely had anything left to give to the fight with the Empire. 

Some days you dreamed of taking Han up on his offer of just flying away in the Falcon, the two of you getting far away from everything. You daydreamed often about how different things would be for both of you if you did just run away but you couldn’t, Leia was your friend and you couldn’t leave her.

Still, it was nice to dream.

“Come on baby, please don’t do this, give us one last chance.” You wanted to cave, wanted desperately to give into his pleading wide eyes and collapse into his arms but you knew you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted it to you knew things wouldn’t change.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered and your voice caught on the words, breaking softly as you fought down a wave of tears that threatened to fill your eyes. 

Han took another step forward and this time you didn’t move away from him, letting him bring his hand up to your cheek before he pressed your foreheads together, looking into your eyes before his fell closed and he brought your lips together.

The kiss was soft and slow, so different from how they usually were. A few tears made their way down your cheeks as you closed your eyes and kissed Han back, savouring the feeling of him against you, letting yourself sink into the kiss but not drown in it, knowing that if you did that you wouldn’t be able to leave.

You were the first pull away, hands coming to rest on Han’s chest as he tried to chase your lips. You knew you had to leave, heart heavy and broken as you pushed away from him and took the few steps needed to reach the door. Han didn’t try to stop you this time as you left, hoping this decision wasn’t permanent.

Months passed without a word from you though. He tried to avoid spending much time on the base but when he was there, well, people liked to talk and were always keen to fill him in on what he had missed. In the few times he had been back he had been informed of your angry words against him, private conversations between you and Leia overheard by the crew. He was told that you had been seen crying most days, sometimes you had to excuse yourself from a planning meeting and somebody would find you alone with tears flowing down your cheeks. Han hated knowing he was the reason for your tears, he never wanted to be the reason you cried and yet a part of him was glad for it because it meant you were thinking about him, you hadn’t just erased him from your thoughts.

Though his heart ached at some of the things he had been told, choice words he hoped had been grossly exaggerated through the rumour mill, it didn’t hurt him as much as he expected it to. If you were dragging his name through the dirt it meant he was still on your mind, it meant you were still holding onto a part of him and that gave him hope. 

Han would gladly take all the criticism you gave him, gladly let you curse him out to anybody who would listen, just to know you still thought about him.

After that night you were heartbroken, through Han’s own wrongdoings, through your constant arguments and your stubborn unwillingness to budge on what you believed in you were left alone. For once you found yourself grateful for the war, you hardly had a moment to sit a stew in your hurt and your pain, though some nights when things were quiet and you’d had too much to drink you tended to drunkenly berate the Captain.

Months went by and you managed to live with the hurt, managed to deal with it and go about your day, thoughts somehow always managing to find their way back to Han Solo. It was strange thinking of him, sometimes you felt so much hate, wanting so badly to get it right with him only to fail each time made you hurt, made you angry at him for not trying harder, angry at yourself for not giving it the final chance he pleaded for. Other times you just felt sad, you missed him dearly. There had been good moments, beautiful moments. You had been at each other's side for so long that to suddenly be without him was lonely.

More months passed and eventually a year had gone by, a long year of days spent aching and longing for you. No matter how far Han went from the base where you were he couldn’t seem to outrun you in his mind, you were always there no matter what he was doing. If he was in the midst of a battle he would think about how wrong it felt not to have your back pressed against his, if he was piloting the Falcon he couldn’t help but miss the way you tried to take over, annoying him by pressing random buttons and instead of your laugh filling the air there was only silence. The nights dragged by painfully slow, he missed you deeply, missed the feeling of you curled into his chest, missed wrapping his body around yours as he held you close, missed waking up and knowing his day would be good just because you were the first thing he saw.

It had been a year and he still missed you so much, he was still holding on hope that you’d take him back, that you still missed him as much as he did you.

It had been a year and you were finally moving on, finally living without the hurt and the pain rather than living with having grown used to it. It may have been a gradual process but you didn’t notice it, not until one day where you were sitting in the cantina and laughing, really laughing, with one of the men from the crew. It hit you like a tonne of bricks that your mind wasn’t on Han and it hadn’t been for a while now.

It was…refreshing. It was nice, even nicer now that you’d actually noticed you were able to get through a day without wanting to cry or rage. You hadn’t realised just how much of your energy it was taking to miss Han. 

Han hadn’t been back to the base in a while now, he knew you hated when he was there, people told him how you locked yourself in your rooms or had Leia send you on a mission whenever he was around. Today he had no choice but to come back and even though he longed to see you, another part of him hoped you still didn’t want to see him just because it would mean you still felt something for him.

He landed on the base, ignoring Chewie’s grumblings about how he wished you were there. He found Leia in the main planning room, the room was filled and yet as he stood in the doorway and saw you he felt everything around him stop. You had to know he was coming, he’d warned Leia two days in advance knowing she would give you a heads up. He could only stare at you, watching as you smiled over at one of the crew a little too friendly for his liking before Leia called out his name. 

His head snapped over to her but from the corner of his eyes he saw you look over at him. If it could be called that, really it was only a half glance, more so at the sudden call from Leia than to look at him before you turned your attention back to the crew member showing you something on the screens.

His heart dropped. There was no pain or longing, your eyes didn’t light up or glare over at him. It was like he was just another member of the crew, a stranger you didn’t know and had no desire to introduce yourself to. It sent a pain right to his heart, his heart was still yours even after a year apart and it seemed you had done the one thing he couldn’t bear to happen, you had forgotten him.

Han nearly lost it then and there, right in front of everybody. He would much rather the crew crowd him and tell him all the nasty things you said about him, hear about how you had cursed and berated him, hear that you wished him dead, hear about you cursing the stars for ever having met him. He would much rather all that than knowing that you knew how to forget him.

It wrecked him, it wrecked him right to the core seeing you dismiss him easily and he knew it wasn’t an act, an attempt to put on a brave face and show him that your separation, your time apart wasn’t affecting you. No, he could tell it was real and he hated knowing you had forgotten him.

Han wasn’t ready to let you go, not even after all the time that had passed. He wasn’t ready to let you forget him but what could he do? Every part of him ached, he was filled with anger and sadness and regret. He should have done something long ago, he shouldn’t have let so much time pass, he should have listened to you and just gave you what you wanted.

He took a step over in your direction, managed two steps before a hand wrapped around his biceps and fingernails dug into his skin. He looked away from you and back to Leia who was glaring at him and shaking her head.

“Leave her alone, Han. You messed up and you missed your chance.” Leia told him, the words weren’t kind but her tone was soft. It was a truth he needed to hear.

Leia had been the one there for you after you walked away from Han. She had been the one who held you as you wept, who watched you scream and pace and drink yourself into a state. She had been the one to stack your workload so high that you were drowning but didn’t have time to think about the man. She had been the one to slowly watch you get better, to go through days where Han didn’t cross your mind.

She liked Han, really she did, but you were her best friend and she hated watching you suffer like you had. You had finally dragged yourself out of that dark pit where Han surrounded your every waking thought and sleeping dream. There was no way she was going to let Han ruin that, she couldn’t bear to watch you go through it again.

“Leia please, that’s my girl, I gotta get her back.” Han pleaded with her, knowing his heart was yours. 

“No Han, she’s not your girl.” Leia told him and pulled him further away from you, watching as he drank you in before she pulled him out of the room. “You lost her, Han and she is finally in a good place. If you care about her you’ll leave her alone.”

Some part of Han knew she was right. Too much time had seemingly passed and it hurt him, it cut him to the core to know that Leia was right, he had lost you. It hurt him, loathe as he was to admit it knowing how selfish it was, but it hurt him to know that you were in a good place because he was supposed to be that good place for you. Now you were living your life and Han wasn’t a part of that, you were happy but it wasn’t Han who was making you happy, though in a way he supposed he was but he was making you happy by staying out of your life.

Even after all this time he wasn’t ready to accept that you could forget him, forget all the good things between you, forget about the love you had felt for each other. He knew he loved you, he knew his heart would always be yours. 

He loved you and he knew Leia was right, if he cared for you he had to leave you alone.

He just hoped that one day you’d remember him again, remember him and take him back. He knew he’d always be waiting for you, he’d still be holding onto the hope he desperately clung too.

_____

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Right Decision

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Prompt -  “You came along and you changed everything.”

You weren’t like this. You weren’t the kind of person to be tongue tied around somebody, the type to become flustered and foolish around somebody. It wasn’t who you were, not when you had learnt so long ago the dangers of letting somebody in, of caring about somebody. You had to look out for yourself, even if it meant shutting yourself off from every possible connection out there.

You’d spent years running, sure the Empire had been defeated but there were still whispers of it throughout the galaxy and there was still a price on your head. You didn’t know just who was issuing bounties on any of the remaining Jedi but somebody was and you knew you could never stop running, could never stop long enough to fall in love.

So how you ended up in a small town way out in the middle of nowhere was beyond you. It had only been a pitstop, your ship had broken down not too far away and you cursed the sea of sand cutting you off from civilization, or whatever counted as civilization on Tatooine. 

You had walked for hours, the suns of Tatooine were especially unkind to you and by the time you stumbled across the small town you were exhausted and dehydrated but you pushed all of that down when a young kid with his hand on his holster stood before you. You barely suppressed the eye roll you felt, he was an easy target, you could have sent him to the floor without a second thought but before you could another man approached him, coming out from one of the buildings.

“Now that ain’t anyway to treat a lady,” The man said to the kid and you watched as his hand dropped from his hip as he turned to the man. “Run along now, I’ve got this.”

You watched as the kid nodded before he ran off to a group of people not too far down, leaving you alone with the man. The first thing you noticed about him, the thing that had your hands twitching down to your hidden lightsaber, was the Mandalorian armour he wore. Then the second thing you noticed was the red scarf around his neck, here you were struggling against the two suns beating down on you and this man had a scarf around him as though he might catch a chill.

“You look like you could use a drink, little miss.” He said and you raised an eyebrow at him but he just grinned at you and gestured you towards the saloon he had come from. 

Your steps were hesitant but the man was right, you did need a drink desperately and it wasn’t long before you were chugging something cold from a tall glass, the man refilling it two times more before you felt like you could talk without tasting sand.

“So what brings you to little old Mos Pelgo?” The man asked you and you let your hands settle around the freshly filled glass, running your fingers along the rim. 

Just because the town was well away from any other civilization, just because nobody had attacked you yet didn’t mean they wouldn’t. The man before you was wearing Mandalorian armour for Force sake, you knew the bounty hunters wouldn’t hesitate to take you in for enough credits, no matter what sort of life it condemned you to. 

And yet the man across from you was looking at you so warmly, his smile relaxed and friendly, his hands resting on the table where you could see them and far away from the gun strapped to his thigh. Years earlier you might have trusted him straight away, might have offered some information about your life to him, maybe see if the Mandalorian could offer you any help but it wasn’t years ago. It was years after, so many years since you had been that naive, trusting kid and instead you had lost everything.

No matter how kind he seemed you couldn’t trust him, you would find what you needed to fix your ship and leave and never think of this place again.

That was the way of your life after all.

“Just passing through.” You told him shortly and he raised an eyebrow at you, seemingly amused at how standoffish you were, leaning further back into his seat.

“Not many people just pass through this part of Tatooine.” He said and you could hear the amusement in his tone.

“My ship broke down, I’m just looking for parts.” You said and he nodded, sitting up and leaning forward.

“Not sure how much good Mos Pelgo will do you in way of parts but I’m sure we can manage something for a pretty thing like yourself.” He said charmingly, winking at you and you just about managed to suppress both the eye roll and the smile that threatened to pull at your lips, settling on an unimpressed look that had him grinning at you. 

“I’ll be on my way soon enough.” You promised him and at that moment you had truly planned on making good on that promise, especially when the man’s smile turned soft and he assured you there was no rush, so long as you were good to his people you were welcome to stay as long as you wanted. 

That night, after the man introduced himself as Cobb Vanth, he had offered you his sofa as a place of rest, telling you most folk already had places set up in Mos Pelgo and they didn’t get visitors often enough to set a place up. You had wearily accepted the offer, fully prepared to defend yourself should the marshal try anything. 

He hadn’t though, other than being overly charming and flirtatious Cobb had been nothing but good to you. At his home he offered you some food and showed you where the fresher was. Once you had finished up he leant you a shirt that hung around your thighs and had set up the sofa for you, pillows and soft blankets ready for you. 

You had truly only meant to spend a night or two, only staying long enough to get parts for your ship. Yet somehow before you knew it four months had passed and you were still in that same small town, still sleeping on Cobb’s, surprisingly comfortable, sofa. 

You knew attachments were wrong and not in the way the Jedi had once believed, no they were wrong because they never lead to anything good. They always ended badly, ended with you alone and yet for some reason you couldn’t leave Mos Pelgo, you settled down and made friends, you helped around the town, Cobb had been impressed with your skills with a blaster and offered you a place at his side, not that much trouble occurred in Mos Pelgo. 

Staying went against everything you believed and then one day it suddenly became clear why you stayed. It was an unassuming, uneventful day and the suns of Tatooine were harsh. Even after all your months on the planet you had never quite gotten used to those suns and took refuge in Cobb’s house.

That was until your comm went off and Cobb sent a message about a potential problem. You grabbed your blaster before pausing and sparing a look at your bag that sat in the corner of the room, hidden inside it was your lightsaber and you debated whether to take it. It had stayed forgotten in your bag since the day you arrived in Mos Pelgo, though you trusted Cobb, even more so when he told you he wasn’t a real Mandalorian but just a man with the amour who wanted to protect his people, you didn’t share who you truly were.

Nobody could know.

With a sigh you left your lightsaber, you were skilled with a blaster but you would trade it for your lightsaber any day. Blasters were tasteless and using the lightsaber, being at one with the Force was a feeling you missed dearly but it was safer this way. You weren’t just putting yourself in danger anymore but anyone who knew would surely become a victim in an effort to get to you should the wrong person find out.

It was barely a minute's walk from Cobb’s place to the saloon, in a town this small everything was within walking distance of each other. You stayed by the door for a moment, Taanti glanced over at you and gave you a look of confusion that had you frowning before he gestured over to the table and as you took a step inside you frowned when you saw Cobb sat at a table and a Mandalorian stood opposite him.

Your first thought was to turn and run, to get as far from Mos Pelgo as you could but you couldn’t leave Cobb to deal with your mess. No, if the bounty hunter wanted to take you, you would give him a fight.

“I figure only one of us is walking out of here.” Cobb said and you frowned, feeling like you’d missed an important piece in the conversation and stepped into the room, Cobb smiling over at you as you stood at his side, hand ready on your blaster.

Cobb didn’t look spooked by the Mandalorian but then again you had never seen him worried about much, he did a good enough job at hiding his feelings but you knew better. He projected his thoughts loudly and you heard everything he hid.

“But then I see the little guy,” Cobb said and you frowned before you followed to where he was pointing. “And I think, maybe I pegged you wrong.”

Whatever else was spoken between the Mandalorian and Cobb was blocked out, completely silenced as you stared at the little green child who stared back at you. He was strong in the Force, strong enough for you to be taken aback, you hadn’t felt anyone that strong for a long time.

It had been so long since you had met another of your kind, well maybe not exactly my kind but the kids a Jedi. Maybe this Mandalorian wasn’t here for you then, maybe as far as he was concerned you were just a regular old human. He hadn’t spared you so much as a glance since you’d entered the saloon, though it was tricky to tell with that helmet.

You had heard thoughts through the Force before but somehow it still startled you as the kids’ murmurs translated into real words in your head and you couldn’t stop the huff of disbelief that left you, taking an unconscious step towards the kid.

“Y/N, you good, sweetheart?” Cobb asked but the words barely registered as you took another step towards the kid, his words, choppy as they were, speaking of the Mandalorian and how they were good, asking if you were the same, all filtering into your head.

The kid took steps towards you and when you met halfway you fell to your knees, the kid immediately climbing into your lap, speaking about how the Mandalorian was good again. You could only stare at him before the Mandalorian himself spoke up.

“What are you doing?” He asked, closer to you than he had been before and you finally snapped back to reality, jumping at his voice before turning to look at him.

Cobb stood behind him, any tension between them seemingly vanished as you sat with the kid. The kid spoke into your head again, his soft noises turning to words, telling you to tell the Mandalorian you were good.

“How did you find him?” You asked instead, looking into the helmet.

“You know his kind?” The Mandalorian shot back instead of answering, crouching down in front of the two of you. 

“Yes.” Was all you said, already knowing you had given too much away by approaching the kid. From behind the Mandalorian you saw Cobb looking down at you with a frown, his confusion strong in the Force.

“Can you help him? I wanted to find another Mandalorian to help me discover what he is, to help me return him to his people.” The Mandalorian told you and you frowned. 

There weren’t many Jedi left in the galaxy, not after Vader’s reign. There were plenty of Force sensitive individuals but not actual trained Jedi, not enough of you left for the child to be returned too.

“Who are you supposed to return him to?” You asked quietly, frowning as you looked down at the kid in your lap who was still murmuring away, seemingly happy to have somebody who understood him.

You let him ramble away in your hand as you turned back to the Mandalorian. 

“I don’t know. I only know that he is to be reunited with his kind, except I don’t know who that is. Can you help?” The man pleaded with you and you didn’t need him to remove his helmet to be able to see his expression clear as day, you could feel his desperation through the Force, truly having the child’s best interest in his heart. “I will be forever in your debt.”

The silence stretched for a long moment, at least out loud it did, in your head the kid was still rambling away, telling you about his adventures with the Mandalorian and it was clear the kid trusted him, loved him dearly. 

You had a choice right now. There weren’t many Jedi left in the galaxy, none that you knew of yourself, the man who had trained you years ago, no matter how grumpy he had been about it, had died during the war with the Empire. You knew there were more but you didn’t know how to make contact. 

You were a skilled Jedi, trained by a man who seemed to be the Force himself some days. He had taught you as much as he could in the short amount of time you had with him, leaving you with enough resources to continue your learning without him. You knew you could train the child but it would mean going against everything you had lived by for years.

It would mean finally admitting you were a Jedi, risking your life and those you cared for. If somebody were to find out you knew it would mean going back to your life on the run. Loath as you were to admit it you had grown used to your life here in Mos Pelgo, you weren’t running, you had a place to return to each night and you were happy.

And yet something about the kid was calling out for you, though the Mandalorian was good to him he needed something more, he needed one of his own to help guide him. You didn’t know if it should be you but there weren’t exactly any other Jedi jumping to help. 

There was also something about the Mandalorian himself, something about the way he felt in the Force, the hope he was desperately trying to pull down so he wasn’t too disappointed, the sadness he felt at potentially losing the kid but wanting to do what was right for him anyway, the love and pride coming from him. Everything about him made you want to say yes if only so you could keep feeling good things coming from him.

Though you stayed silent for a few minutes you knew you had already made your decision, it had been made for you the second the kid climbed into your lap.

“I can help him.” You said, eyes closed and voice barely a whisper as you tilted your head down. 

Through the Force you could feel the Mandalorian’s happiness and relief, the feeling bringing your anxiety filled mind a sense of calm. Cobb was radiating pure confusion and you felt terrible for never having told him your secret, he had given you so much, shared so much with you and you kept things from him. 

You hoped he would understand.

“You can?” The Mandalorian asked and even with the modulator you could hear the grin on his face. 

The kid reacted to his happiness both in his voice and through the Force, babbling away much faster now, so quickly you struggled to keep up with the words. 

“He is strong but he needs to be trained. It will be a long process, training is not something to be rushed. If you wish to leave him you are free to do so but if you stay you must understand the training he is to undertake is something that will take years.” You told the Mandalorian, slipping into the tone your Master had used with you when he had explained the training to you. 

“I wish to stay with the child.” The Mandalorian confessed softly, through the Force you could feel his overwhelming relief and disbelief at the fact that he wasn’t being separated from the child, that he could stay by his side.

“As you wish, Mandalorian.” You said, finally opening your eyes and looking over at him. He had sat back on his heels now, looking absolutely relaxed. Over his shoulder Cobb looked down at you with a frown and you could only look up at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

“You’re one of his kind then? What are your people?” The Mandalorian asked and you returned your gaze to him, biting your lip before taking a breath.

“We’re Jedi, once our kind brought and maintained peace in the galaxy. Now there aren’t many left, the ones who trained to be Jedi are few and far across the galaxy.” You told him, a wave of familiar sadness ran through you as it always did when you thought of your people’s history and how different things could have been for you had they not fallen.

Now you only had the stories shared to you by an old man who felt bone deep sadness and grief as he told you of his time as a Jedi.

“The Jedi and the Mandalorian used to be great enemies.” The Mandalorian murmured softly, more to himself than to you but you still sat straighter and glared at him, the child pausing in his ramblings as he glanced between the two of you.

“Is that going to be a problem?” You said in a cold tone and the Mandalorian immediately sat straighter too, shaking his head and holding his hands up.

“No problem, the child is not my enemy, I…I care for him a great deal. You are not my enemy either and I will forever be in your debt. Thank you for helping the kid.” He told you earnestly. 

‘Grogu!’ 

The words caused you to frown as you looked away from the Mandalorian and down at the kid again, tilting your head for a second until it clicked what the word meant and you smiled down at him.

“Grogu,” You said softly, turning back to the Mandalorian, “His name is Grogu.”

Months passed in Mos Pelgo and though you had struggled with teaching Grogu to use the Force to begin with you had finally found your footing and actually enjoyed training the kid. Cobb had been shocked and a little bit hurt that you had kept it from him but a few tricks with the Force had him over it pretty quickly as he grinned at you, urging you to show him what else you could do.

Cobb had a place set up for you and the Mandalorian, it was easier to help the kid when you had your own place though you missed sharing living quarters with Cobb. The Mandalorian was more than happy to share a house with you, though he never admitted it out loud you could feel it through the Force.

You could feel a lot of things through the Force when it came to the Mandalorian. You could feel his happiness when he walked out the backdoor to see you and Grogu sat at the back of the house, the suns beaming down at you as you sat with your eyes closed and a collection of pebbles floating between the two of you. You could feel the relief he sometimes still felt when he held the kid, glad to still be at his side. 

You could also feel the way he got nervous around you, if you hadn’t had the Force on your side you would never have known it, not with the helmet hiding the Mandalorian’s expression from you. You had wondered many times what he looked like under it but after he had told you why he didn’t remove it you had never pushed it. Sometimes he felt so much happiness when he was around you, happiness you couldn’t blame on the kid because Grogu was long tucked up in his floating crib and fast asleep leaving you and the Mandalorian alone together, sometimes sat on the sofa with a cup of something warm, sometimes sat out on the porch under the stars. 

You had never let on to the Mandalorian that you could feel his feelings strongly through the Force. You felt the same for him though it took longer for you to admit it to yourself, you had become so used to your life of shutting people out, of blocking every possible person from your life that feeling this happy and giddy around the Mandalorian felt scary. Sometimes you found yourself struggling to speak around him, stumbling over your words when you felt a particularly strong wave of affection coming from him. 

When you finally confessed your feelings out loud for the first time to Cobb you had been taken back but the amount of genuine happiness and pride the man felt for you. He had seen it in your face and laughed softly telling you it was about time you let yourself have something that was yours. 

And maybe he was right. Maybe you should talk to Din, the two of you spent your days together, were practically raising Grogu together and yet no matter how certain you were about your feelings for the Mandalorian, you were still terrified. Terrified of actually letting another person in, of falling for somebody, of all the risks and pains that could come from it. 

Sometimes you missed the simplicity of your days spent running, they might have been lonely but you weren’t attached to anybody, there was no risk of you getting hurt.

But spending time with the Mandalorian, spending all your days at his side made you want to take that risk, made you want to see what could come from something between the two of you. Yes, it could end badly and it could hurt and you would curse yourself for getting involved with him but at the same time you could also make it work, you could create a life with him, memories to last a lifetime. 

The Mandalorian made you feel brave enough, happy enough, to want to take that risk. 

It was just a regular day when it finally happened, you hadn’t been planning on confessing anything to the Mandalorian, it really was just a regular day. You got up and the Mandalorian was already awake, as you sat with Grogu in the living room the Mandalorian prepared breakfast for you all, him eating as you and the kid went about your morning meditation. From there you had gone to help Cobb with things in town before you went back home to train with Grogu, the child making great progress in his training.

It was only after Grogu had been put to bed that something shifted. Din was already sitting outside on the floor by the time you had changed out of your clothes and into something more comfortable and you went and sat next to him, the air around you seemed to change and you couldn’t tell if it was the Force or just from all the unspoken words between the two of you. 

Din projected happiness into the Force, he was relaxed and content to sit under the stars with you and you were more than happy to share the silence with him. The Mandalorian often didn’t have much to say, he was used to being alone and not having to fill the silence but once you started the conversation he was always eager to carry it on, seemingly drinking in every word you told him and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Mando,” You started, voice barely a whisper but you suddenly needed to speak, to tell him how you felt, no matter how scared you were you were also ready but before you could say anything more the Mandalorian cut you off.

“Din,” He interrupted softly and your eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he chuckled softly, only just loud enough to be picked up through the helmet. “My name is Din Djarin.”

You could only stare up at him wide eyed, completely shocked that he would share this information with you, knowing how important the way of the Mandalorian was to him. The sudden urge to tell him how you felt only magnified with his words, suddenly you needed him to know.

“Din,” You whispered, feeling a burst of happiness from him and you couldn’t help but smile at him, knowing he was smiling back even with the helmet hiding his face. “Before I met you I had condemned myself to a life alone, to running and never stopping. Then I found this place and something was keeping me here, something I never understood, not until you showed up. You came along and you changed everything, you made me realise I didn’t have to be alone, I didn’t have to live in fear. You made me realise I could be happy, you made- you made me realise I could fall in love. I love you, Din Djarin.” 

Din was silent for a moment and without the Force you would have been worried about what that silence meant, worried that you had read the situation wrong but the Force sung of shock and happiness and joy, Din radiated so much affection and, taking you by surprise, love. 

“I love you too, Y/F/N Y/L/N. I love watching you with Grogu, I love waking up and knowing you’re going to be one of the first things I see in the morning, I know no day could be bad because of it. I, too, used to think I was meant for nothing more than to be alone, to provide for my creche and not know anything more than that. Meeting the kid changed everything for me, he led me to you.” Din’s voice was soft, the truth behind the words so strong you didn’t need to Force to help you make sense of his feelings.

You smiled widely at him and if your eyes had watered up a bit, well Din could hardly judge you when his did the same, the only difference was he had the luxury of the helmet to hide his. Though right now, for maybe the first time since he had put it on, he wished for the helmet to be gone, he longed to kiss you, had waited so long and now here you were telling him you felt the same. 

It was like a dream and he still half expected to wake up and find that he had fallen asleep outside whilst waiting for you.

He brought a hand up to your face, his fingers lightly pushing a piece of hair back before he cupped your cheek, smiling as you practically melted into the touch and he couldn’t do any but kiss you.

“Close your eyes and keep them shut for me.” He murmured softly and watched as your eyebrows knitted together in confusion before you did as he asked and only when your eyes closed did he lift the helmet.

He couldn’t bring himself to take it all the way off but he lifted it enough that his lower half was revealed. 

You felt his lips against yours and your eyes almost shot open in surprise but you just about managed to keep them shut, now understanding the request. Din trusted you, he trusted you to respect his way of living, to respect his choices and you did, you kept your eyes tightly shut in hopes that you would feel those lips against yours again.

You felt his facial hair against your face, his lips were slightly chapped against yours as he pulled you impossibly close to him. The kiss was soft and slow and a little uncoordinated through Din’s lack of experience and the love coming from Din mixed with the kiss was almost overwhelming. You felt like you could drown in the kiss, in him, and you wouldn’t complain once. 

Din’s thumb brushed against your cheek as he kissed you, memorising the feeling of your lips against him. You kissed him back so sweetly and he never wanted to stop, never wanted to not have your lips against his, kissing him just like this. 

Eventually the need for air became too much and the two of you pulled away, Din pulled the helmet down and rested his forehead against yours, not ready to give up kissing you even if you weren’t aware of keldabe kisses. 

You were stunning under the glow of the moonlight, lips swollen and eyes still closed as your breathing returned to normal. The world around him could end now and he wouldn’t be able to look away from you.

You finally opened your eyes and though you couldn’t see his face it didn’t matter, you could feel so much love and happiness coming from him that you were melting in it. You knew you had made the right decision, you didn’t know what would come from it, you couldn't see the future but you did know you made the right decision. 

One you wouldn’t take back for anything.

It was scary to love someone this much and the risk of getting hurt would always be there but it wasn’t a good enough reason to stay silent, not anymore, especially not when you knew how good this felt. You didn’t know what the future held but you would enjoy every moment with Din Djarin whilst you had it and never let him go, not when you had finally got him.

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Din Djarin Taglist / 

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