Sw Imagines - Tumblr Posts

Star Wars Masterlist

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- Ours

- Silent Suffering

- He’s Coming For You, I Promise

- my tears ricochet

- Never Grow Up

- You’re Losing Me

- I'll Be There

- Your Jedi

- Enough for You

- Tell Me Later

- Haunted

- You Were My Only Hope

- Ready to Run

- The Perfect Mix

- Promise Me Forever

- First and Last

- Right Decision

- Safe Place (Daughter Reader)

- Forget Me

- With Me

- Step Into The Daylight

- Where We’re Meant To Be

- Bigger Than The Whole Sky

- We’ll Meet Again

- Got You Back

- Spark of Hope

Promise Me Forever

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Prompt -  'Promises were a dangerous thing, they were thrown around carelessly, broken easily but he swore he would never break his, not when it meant you would stop smiling up at him like that, like he was the only person in the whole galaxy.’

Whenever Poe was away you always felt some level of anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Some days it was manageable, if he was only gone for a day or two you were fine, there wasn’t enough time to worry too much, but on missions like this, missions were nobody was able to give you a time limit for how long he’d be gone, those were the days your anxiety was at its worse.

You and Poe had been friends long before confessing your feelings to one another, you’d had a long time to adjust to him being gone for missions in that time and yet you never quite got used to watching him leave and worrying about when he’d return…if he’d return.

You always knew when you watched his X-wing leave that there was a chance something could happen to him, a chance that he might not come home to you and you tried, you tried so hard to ignore the thought, to block it out until you were in his arms again. On missions like this though, missions where he had been gone for ten days now, you couldn’t push the thought away, no matter how much you tried, no matter how much extra work you took on, it was always there, lurking in your mind.

There had been no word from the squadron sent out either, none of them had contacted the base with updates and the silence only made you worry even more. You tried to convince yourself he was fine, you knew he was talented, knew it would take much more than this mission to knock Poe down and yet once the work was done for the day and you found yourself alone in your shared bed, one of his shirts covering your body and your face buried in his pillow, you couldn’t stop picturing every bad thing that could have happened to him.

When two more days passed without a word from him you feared the worst. Twelve days of radio silence from the entire squadron wasn’t normal, sure, sometimes it took them a day or two to send a message back home but in the entire time you’d been a member of the Resistance you couldn’t remember a time it had taken this long to communicate with a team and people at the base were trying, every hour of every day, to form some sort of contact with the squadron only to hear nothing back.

Whereas you had taken to working as much as possible in the first few days of Poe being gone, now you couldn’t focus on anything other than the overwhelming fear that you wouldn’t see Poe again, wouldn’t get to feel how safe Poe’s arms felt around you, how grounding the feeling was after worrying about him for days.

“He’ll be fine.” A voice said from behind you, causing you to jump and look away from the window.

Leia was watching you, a comforting but sympathetic smile on her face. You tried to force your own smile but couldn’t find the strength too, instead you found yourself holding back a sudden oncoming of tears. Despite the fact you had worked directly under her for a long time now you still couldn’t let yourself cry in front of her. 

“Trust me,” she said, a look in her eyes that would have had you believing anything she said. Leia always seemed to know if something was wrong, there had been times where a squadron had been attacked, some members hurt or killed, and she always seemed to know. “He’ll be home before you know it.”

As always seemed to be the case Leia was right. 

Fourteen days of the squadron being gone you had finally, finally, received a message from them. They had ran into trouble with members of the First Order, two members had been killed but the rest were ok, a little bruised and beaten but they were ok, they were alive and heading home.

Upon hearing the message, hearing Poe’s voice, you felt your knees give way and had to grip the table tightly in order to stay upright. Your eyes fell shut in relief as you felt a weight fall from your shoulders, though not all of it, you knew it wouldn’t be gone completely until you had Poe back in your arms. 

It took a day for the squadron to return but once it was announced that they were landing, you pushed away from the work in front of you, spared one pleading look towards Leia who smiled and gestured for you to go and took off running towards the hangar.

Poe was already climbing out of the cockpit and off the X-wing, his eyes automatically scanning the room for you and he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face as he saw you run into the room. He was making his way towards you before your eyes had found him but he saw the moment you spotted him, your whole body seemed to tense up, tears filled your eyes before you met him halfway.

You practically crashed into Poe’s arms, the man having to take a few steps back in order to make sure the two of you stayed upright, but he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you tightly, burying his face into your hair as he held you close. He could feel how tightly you were holding him, his jacket gripped in your fingers as you rested your cheek against his chest, eyes closed in a desperate attempt to stop the tears that welled in your eyes but you still felt them trickle down your cheeks anyway. 

The two of you stood there for a long time, no words being said between the two of you, the pair of you just needing to hold the other. Poe needed the comforting feel of you in his arms after being away for so long, after the mission resulted in the loss of two members of his squadron and you needed to feel Poe, needed to hear the steady beat of his heart against your ear, assuring yourself that he was here, he was ok, he was home.

Eventually the two of you pulled apart from each other, not going far, Poe kept his arms circled around you but you pulled yours back so that you could cup his head in your hand. Poe brought his forehead down to rest softly against yours, finally letting one hand leave your waist so he could brush away the tears on your cheek, smiling softly at you as he did.

“You’re ok?” You asked him softly, so softly he would have missed it if he wasn’t standing so close to you. 

Poe nodded against your forehead causing your head to move with him and a smile pulled at your lips in what felt like the first time in days and he couldn’t help himself, he leaned down and pressed your lips together.

At first it was nothing more than a soft brushing of your lips, could barely be called a kiss, and he pulled away but you chased his lips, pressing yours back against his in the complete opposite style he had.

The kiss you placed against his lips was desperate, it was messy and you let every bit of fear you’d felt over the past two weeks, every bit of relief you felt now that he was back seep into the kiss. Poe kissed back just as passionately, kissed you back just as wildly, letting you know that he had missed you, letting you know how much he needed you, how seeing you after this mission was exactly what he needed. 

Your hands slid up into his hair, gripping the locks between your fingers and Poe’s hand that rested on your cheek seemed to try and draw you in closer to him, impossibly closer, and his arm around your waist tightened as if he could hold you in that moment forever. 

The two of you remained completely oblivious to the others that were in the hangar, politely averting their gazes though smiles spread across their faces at the reunion. With how stressful things had been getting lately it was nice to have these moments on the base, moments of love and happiness rather than fear and uncertainty. 

Eventually the need for air overcame the pair of you and you both pulled away, again only going far enough so that your foreheads knocked together gently, the two of you panting for air as Poe’s thumb traced your swollen bottom lip.

“I missed you so much, baby.” Poe murmured and you nodded, letting out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Poe to lean forward and press a gentle peck to your lips.

“I missed you too,” you told him, swallowing around the lump in your throat, playing with the curls in between your fingers, “I was so scared when you didn’t-”

“Hey, it’s ok, I’m here, I’m ok,” Poe said when you stopped mid-sentence, thoughts of what if’s assaulting your mind, “I’m right here, baby, I’m not leaving you.” He promised and you felt yourself nodding, hoping to anyone that would listen that he was able to keep it.

You were about to speak again when you were interrupted by something crashing into your legs and you looked down to see BB-8 spinning in circles, beeping wildly and you couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into Poe’s chest as you did, Poe looking down at you and smiling himself.

He had missed you so much and as he watched you crouch down and wrap your arms around BB-8, the droid happily beeping, telling you how much he had missed you and you telling him you’d missed him too, Poe couldn’t ignore the way his heart seemed to speed up and a warmth spread through his entire body.

He loved you so much. The only thing that got him through some of his missions, who was he kidding it got him through all of his missions, was the fact that he knew you were going to be here when he got back, knew you were going to be in the hangar waiting for him.

He watched as you smiled up at him from your position on the floor, BB-8 still pressing himself into your arms and he couldn’t help but pull you up, couldn’t stop himself from leading through the hallways until you got back to your room, ready to forget the mission, forgot the tension that seemed to loom over the whole base and instead focus on you.

As the two of you lay in bed, hours later with you asleep on his chest, Poe couldn’t stop his hand coming up, his fingers finding the silver band attached to a chain that lay around his neck and he swore in that moment he would do everything he could to keep his promise to you, he would never leave you.

I'll Be There

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Prompts - "Are you hurt?"

It had taken years for a Master to take you on as their Padawan, most had heard the rumours that you took the Jedi Code as more of a suggestion than a set of rules to live by, they knew you let yourself feel things more deeply than was allowed and you seemed to form an attachment to anybody you came across. No Master wanted to take on your responsibility, no Master wanted to be defeated by a Padawan, knowing that you would never change how you saw the world.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of the Master’s when Obi-Wan was the one to take you on as his Padawan a few years after Anakin had been knighted, nobody was surprised at all. If Obi-Wan had managed to survive Anakin Skywalker, had managed to raise and train that boy into a Jedi Knight then there was no doubt he could train you, the man’s patience would truly be tested. 

You hadn’t wanted a Master, hadn’t wanted somebody who thought they could change everything about you, hadn’t wanted to be around another person who would give you disappointed looks and sighs of disapproval every time you expressed emotions. You’d heard all about Obi-Wan though, of course you had, he was a hero in the war, he was The Negotiator. You knew how admired he was, how desperately so many Padawan’s wanted him to be their Master and for some reason he had chosen you.

There had been many times where you had considered your own future, wondered why you remained in the Order when every day you saw it stray further and further from what it was supposed to be. You figured you were waiting for something to change, every time you meditated on it, it felt like the Force was pleading with you to stick around a little longer, to wait it out, whispers of promises and a bright future, one without pain and devastation, one where a faceless figure wasn’t crying out in pain, surrounded by flames and burning and pain and loss. 

The Force liked to show you the future in the worst way possible, you could never make it out. The Force Visions always hit you hard, always seemed to speak to you, of the fact that you had the ability to change not only the outcome of the war but also the outcome of the future of the galaxy. Why it trusted you with these visions you didn’t know, sometimes you wished you had never seen them, at least then you could have left the Order, put your abilities towards something good, to actually helping people instead of being trained to fight in a war.

You were one of the eldest Padawan’s without a Master but it didn’t bother you, you hadn’t needed a Master. You spent all your free time learning, there was always something new to learn and you were determined to be as good as you could be, Master or no Master.

When you were told Obi-Wan was to be your new Master you knew it would mean being thrust into the heart of the war. It hadn’t scared you, you knew you were good and could defend yourself and those around you but you were anxious, you had never left Coruscant since you had arrived, had never actually been in battle before outside of make believe ones set up in the Temple.

Obi-Wan was kind, that was the first word that seemed to come to mind when you met him. He was soft spoken and listened intently as you spoke about your training. He had a few days leave in order to meet you and see where you were up to and hadn’t wasted a moment. The first day you met he had you in one of the training rooms, the two of you duelling until Obi-Wan tucked his lightsaber away and regarded you with an impressed look before inviting you to meditate with him.

As connected with the Force as you where you had rarely mediated with another person, you could count the number of times you had on one hand. Usually it was a difficult task compared to being alone, you struggled to sink into a peaceful state, too aware of others around you but when sat across from Obi-Wan you found it was easier. You could feel his Force signature but unlike everyone else’s it wasn’t distracting, instead it was inviting, the Force telling you that you could trust him and so you let yourself sink down into the feeling of the Force and let your mind wander.

From there it had been easy to allow Obi-Wan into your life, he was the first person you had met who didn’t seem to judge or criticise you. You actually liked being around him, not only for the comfort his Force signature gave off, calming you down easily, but because he treated you like you were normal, he was there with gentle words and soft solutions, easy smiles, and a welcoming pat on the shoulder. It made the shift from the temple to being in the middle of a war easier.

Then there was his former Padawan.

You had met Anakin on your first day leaving the Temple, Obi-Wan’s time on leave coming to an end which meant your time at the Temple was too coming to an end. Obi-Wan had led you to a ship and your eyes widened at just how many clones were there, all working on loading the ship. Obi-Wan had told you that two battalions would be coming on the latest mission, his own was the 212th and Anakin’s battalion the 501st. 

He scanned the area before he found who he was looking for and you watched as an easy smile spread across his face before he gestured for you to follow him. You hadn’t been looking where you were going, too focused on your surroundings that you bumped into Obi-Wan causing you to snap around to him, a sheepish look on your face causing him to chuckle before he turned back to the young man in front of him. 

Your breath almost caught in your throat, of course you’d seen pictures of this man, his face was slapped across the city, the Hero With No Fear, and yet somehow you weren’t prepared to come face to face with him. He was beautiful, truly and utterly beautiful, he was a man whose company you could spend hours in, memorising every part of his face until you knew it like the back of your hand.

You had never particularly held the Jedi Code in the highest of regards, you found it easy to fall in love, you fell in love with the way a stranger laughed, fell in love with how children danced around the markets without a care in the world, oblivious to the war beyond the planet, you fell in love with everything. You formed attachments to things just as easily as you fell in love, the young girl you had saved by scarring of traffickers and she had insisted on buying you a sweet treat, the two of you laughing enough to forget how you had ended up there, the sweet twi'lek child who you had helped calm and reunite with his parents, the healer at the Temple who always smiled at you each time you went to her after a bad training session that left you with more cuts and bruises than you could even recall.

Even if you had followed the Code down to each letter you truly believed that one meeting with Anakin Skywalker, one flash of that easy going but charming grin he was shooting you now, would be enough for you to turn your back on it all together. You knew he played fast and loose with the Code too and hoped that it would work in your favour. 

For now though you shook your head slightly, forcing your attention back to the present as Obi-Wan introduced you to Anakin.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” He grinned, reaching out and placing his hand on your shoulder. You were sure you felt the Force singing with happiness around you at the small touch but it could have just been you. “Good luck with Obi-Wan here as your Master.”

You laughed at the look Obi-Wan gave Anakin, one that spoke of many years of friendship even as he tried to look annoyed.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You smiled, voice soft as you felt shyness running through you and Anakin must have sensed it too as his grin softened to a smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently before pulling away.

You missed his touch already.

With another shake of your head and a mental command to pull yourself together you followed Obi-Wan and Anakin into the ship, being introduced to different clones along the way and doing your best to remember them. 

It wasn’t long after that you were in the air and leaving the planet, two Clones coming up to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan and you were introduced to them, Captain Rex and Commander Cody. You had smiled at them, both of them greeting you formally causing you to smile, you weren’t anybody important and yet they still stood straighter as they addressed you.

The journey only lasted a few hours and you spent most of the time trying to keep out of the way as the two Jedi, two clones and the Admiral who all stood around a holomap and discussed different strategies and entry points. 

“Nervous?” Somebody asked suddenly causing you to jump before turning to see Anakin stood next to you, a smile on his face.

“Is it that noticeable?” You asked, watching as his smile grew wider and you couldn’t stop yourself from mirroring the expression.

“You’ve got Obi-Wan to protect you, don’t worry he won’t let anything happen to you, neither will any of the men and of course, I’ll be there. The first mission is always hard though.” He told you, completely unaware that his words of comfort had made your heartbeat faster and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t slow it. “Just stay close and make sure you don’t wander too far off.”

“I think I can manage that.” You told him with a grin and tried to memorise the sound of his laugh, watching how his face seemed to light up.

One of the clones announced that you would be landing in a matter of minutes and Anakin turned to you, his grin fading into an encouraging smile as he reached over to rest his hand on your shoulder again, giving it a gentle squeeze before he led you over to Obi-Wan who smiled at the two of you.

Your first mission had gone…well it hadn’t gone great but it also wasn’t terrible. Even as you followed Anakin’s advice you still ended up nursing a broken arm from where you had been surrounded by battle droids after Obi-Wan had told you to stay hidden where you were whilst him and clones from the 212th handled the droids. 

You had fared well enough on your own for a while, able to hold off and destroy the few that had surrounded you but when more spotted the lone Jedi it hadn’t been long until you were outnumbered and as confident as you were with your skills you hadn’t been trained for real life situations and it was definitely more overwhelming than you’d originally thought.

One had managed to sneak up on you and sent you flying into one of the many tall rocks surrounding you and you’d managed to land funny on your good arm sending a shooting pain through you that had you crying out. You couldn’t let yourself focus on it though, not as the droids surrounded you and you forced yourself up, ignoring the burning pain and focused on the droids.

Thankfully the 501st caught up to Obi-Wan’s battalion pretty quickly and before you could register it Anakin had jumped over the droids, moving so he was back to back with you and throwing you a grin over his shoulder.

“Jumping right in then, huh, Y/N?” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile back at him, even with the ache in your arm as you waved your lightsaber through two droids.

“I like a challenge.” You grinned right back before the two of you focused your attentions on the fighter droids, you finding it was much easier to deal with them once you had a bit of back up.

You and Anakin dealt with them easily enough after that, the two of you surrounded by broken droid parts just as Obi-Wan showed up and looked at the mess. Anakin slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as he led you over to Obi-Wan whilst the troopers made their way to the building that had been taken over by Separatists.

“She did well out there, Obi-Wan.” Anakin said, smiling down at you and you desperately tried to not let it show just how much this closeness was affecting you, how the feel of his arm around you, holding you close would be a feeling you would try to remember for a long time.

“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked softly, looking you up and down as to check for injuries.

You knew the mission wasn’t over yet, knew that there were more droids inside to deal with and you wanted to help, you didn’t want to be benched on your first mission. So you ignored the pain in your arm and nodded at the man.

“I’m fine, Master.” You told him and watched as he looked at you for a second longer before nodding back and gesturing for you and Anakin to follow the troopers into the building.

Anakin only removed his arm from your shoulder when more droids appeared but he made sure to keep you close to him, positioning himself so he was taking on the brunt of the droids, members of his battalion coming over to help. You forced yourself to focus, there would be plenty of time to let your thoughts wander about Anakin later but now you were in the middle of a battle.

With the number of clones and having three Jedi it wasn’t a long battle against the droids, though it felt longer as more and more seemed to flood from different doors, and eventually the control of the building, as well as the planet was back with the Republic. 

You were glad that the battle was done, your arm was aching, shooting pains ran up and down it and when you peaked under your sleeve you winced at how swollen and bruised it was already. Thankfully you knew it would be a quick fix once you got back to Coruscant but you had no idea if you were even going back there or if Obi-Wan had another mission planned already.

Anakin finished talking to one of the clones before he scanned the room, you watched as his eyes locked onto you and he shot you a grin as he made his way over to you, not hesitating to wrap his arm around your shoulder again, this time brushing against your arm causing you to wince and he pulled back immediately.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, his eyes scanning you up and down much like Obi-Wan had before.

“It’s nothing.” You told him, trying to brush it off but he caught your hand in his gently and you forced yourself to stay still, to not react.

Anakin carefully pulled your sleeve up, pausing to look up at you apologetically when you winced again only to wince himself as he saw your bruised and swollen arm.

“Ouch.” He hissed, his thumb brushing soothingly across your knuckles causing you to smile softly. “Come one, Kix will fix you right up once we’re back on the ship.” 

You smiled over at him as he pulled you along with him, your hand fitting in his like it was part of a puzzle piece and you tried to keep the smile off your face, tried to stop yourself from glancing down to memorise how his fingers looked tangled in yours but you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander.

Even when the two of you got back to the ship and Anakin led you over to a clone, Kix, your mind supplied, he didn’t leave you even though you knew he was supposed to be with Obi-Wan reporting back to the Council. He sat by your side and kept a hold of your good hand, letting his thumb brush across your knuckles, until Kix had patched you up, smiling at you and warning you to take it easy as you left.

You knew from that day something had changed, the Force around you seemed to soar when you and Anakin were near each other, practically buzzing with happiness whenever you touched. It was like something significant had happened, something you weren’t even aware of and you didn’t question it, if it meant that having Anakin around then you weren’t complaining.

___________________

Anakin Skywalker Taglist -

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Ours

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Prompts - Seems like there's always someone who disapproves, they'll judge it like they know about me and you

It was no secret, no matter how much it had started as one, that you and Obi-Wan shared a bond deeper than friendship, a bond that seemed to run soul deep, unable to be broken by the Force itself. It was a bond that had been forming for many years now, somehow still growing bigger and more stable as time went on. You’d felt drawn to Obi-Wan, the Padawan a few years older than you who hadn’t hesitated to take you under his wing as you arrived at the Temple, the Padawan who you spent each day with. 

Master Qui-Gon had watched his Padawan carefully, the man was far more lenient with the way of the Jedi, with the code they should follow. He was content to sit back, to watch as his Padawan grew up and began to navigate his feelings for the younger Padawan he had befriended years ago. He knew the Council didn’t like it, he saw the weary looks that were shot your way as you and Obi-Wan were more than happy to sit alone together, blocking out the rest of the room, the rest of the world, to focus on each other.

Master Windu had warned him more times than he could count that he should put an end to this friendship, that nothing good would come from whatever it would grow into, Qui-Gon had quietly disagreed as he looked to his young Padawan, he thought the bond that was forming would only mean great things. Master Yoda had also pulled him aside to speak of attachments and what that would lead to and again Qui-Gon let him talk but ultimately did nothing to stop the two of you from being friends.

He had always known the two of you would be more than friends, it was rare for Jedi to create the kind of bond the two of you had, to be able to speak freely between your minds, to feel each other’s emotions as if they were your own and yet when Obi-Wan had confided in him that such a bond existed, fear clear on his face that Qui-Gon would march the two of you to the Council and order the bond to be broken, Qui-Gon wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t surprised that the two of you were so deeply entwined with each other, he had been shocked to learn just how developed the bond was but not shocked by its existence. 

You and Obi-Wan weren’t foolish, you weren’t oblivious to the stares and the whispers that were sent your way, you just didn’t care enough to put a stop to them, why should you? It wasn’t forbidden to be friends and you and Obi-Wan had grown up side by side, hardly ever without the other. 

Whilst Master Qui-Gon was supportive, encouraging whatever was happening between Obi-Wan and yourself, your own Master had tried for many years to put a stop to it. It hadn’t worked, of course, his attempts only managed to put a strain on your relationship with your Master until you found yourself training alongside Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, much more content to learn at Obi-Wan’s side.

For years you had remained oblivious to your feelings, content to just have Obi-Wan at your side and bask in the friendship he offered to you. It was only as you grew older that you realised just how deeply you liked him, realised that the bond the two of you shared was a gift from the Force and not something just anybody could do. Even when you didn’t know just how deeply you felt for Obi-Wan you knew you had formed an attachment to him years ago, you knew that attachment had formed the day he smiled at you and offered to show you around. You knew the attachment was strong, knew that if something ever happened to Obi-Wan you would turn the galaxy upside down for him without hesitation.

Obi-Wan knew he felt the same for you. After countless nights of staring up at the ceiling, confused and scared that he was a terrible Jedi but not wanting to give you up he had finally sat down with his own Master, thankful that the man was much more relaxed about the Code and encouraged him to see where the Force would lead you and him. It was a conversation he needed, one that he could meditate on after being assured that not all attachments were bad, after Qui-Gon had asked him if he felt like his relationship to you would lead Obi-Wan down a dark path. Obi-Wan knew that if anything happened to you he would be devastated, he would be heartbroken, his whole world would become empty but he didn’t think it was bad, he didn’t think it was a dark attachment, he didn’t feel possessive over you, he only felt fondness, he felt happy and light, he felt love and loved in return.

Obi-Wan liked to think he was a good Jedi, he liked to think he followed the rules and would make a good Knight one day and yet he saw the disapproving stares of the Masters as the two of you wandered the halls together, he felt their weariness through the Force and doubted himself. It never lasted long though, only until he saw you again and you made the risk of not being a perfect Jedi worth it.

Years passed and you and Obi-Wan continued to grow closer. The two of you were practically one with each other, if you were looking for Y/N, all you had to do was find the Kenobi boy and vice-versa, people hardly spoke only one of your names, instead they said Y/N and Obi-Wan because that’s how it was, it was always the two of you. 

The Jedi Council had spent years frowning and disapproving but had never outright said anything to either you or Obi-Wan, they had spoken to your Master’s about their thoughts but nothing beyond that. It was something that was monitored carefully as if they were waiting for one of you to slip and turn to the Dark Side. You silently thought it was stupid of them to be so mistrustful of the two of you, whilst between you and Obi-Wan you were the more reckless and far more lenient with the rules, neither of you had shown any signs from straying from the Light Side, Force forbid you love the boy you had spent all your days with though.

The day you and Obi-Wan finally stopped dancing around your feelings and spoke about them was rather anti-climactic. With how built up the whole situation was, with how much disapproval was surrounding the bond you shared it felt like when Obi-Wan had cupped your cheek in his hand and pulled you in for a soft and slow kiss that something ground shaking should have happened, something beyond the fireworks and butterflies you felt. It felt like you were supposed to pull back and see a Sith eyes staring back at you or were meant to feel angry and murderous, instead you felt happier than ever pulling back and sharing a wide smile with Obi-Wan being pulling him back to you.

You had agreed quickly though that it stayed between the two of you, best not to give the Council a reason to act on their feelings. Keeping it a secret was easy enough as nothing seemed to change between you two, only that now you could actually kiss him whenever you wanted to. Your chambers were much too dangerous however, what with your Master still hating your connection with Obi-Wan, at least with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was more than used to seeing you in their quarters, though the first time he had walked in on the two of you making out of the sofa had left you and Obi-Wan blushing madly and refusing to so much as look at the Jedi Master for days after much to his amusement. 

As time passed you and Obi-Wan only became closer and you couldn’t understand just why the Jedi forbid attachments but kept silent on the matter. In all the years you’d known Obi-Wan nothing seemed bad about your connection and yet all it took was one day to show you exactly why the Jedi Order didn’t allow relationships like the one you shared with Obi-Wan.

It was how you found yourself in the turbolift surrounded by other Jedi who shot you looks but ultimately remained silent. The silence was so loud, you knew they all knew what had happened, knew you had been called to the Council room and their silence made you want to get out at the next stop and take the stairs just to be away from them. You wished Obi-Wan was with you, wished he was there to take your hand in his and whisper through your bond that everything would be alright even if it wouldn’t. He wasn’t there though, instead you were stuck in the turbolift giving you time to the strangers who glared and stared at you.

When the door finally opened you didn’t rush from the turbolift, instead you walked at your normal pace, forcing one foot in front of the other and held your head high as you made your way to the Council room. Though you looked calm inside you were terrified, surely they wouldn’t force you to leave but when it came to attachments the Jedi weren’t known to brush it off, it was a wonder you and Obi-Wan had been allowed so much leeway this long. You were sure you mostly had Master Qui-Gon to thank for that, knowing the man had been taking the brunt of complaints for years and yet had never once discouraged yours and Obi-Wan’s relationship.

You were really glad the man was in the meeting today.

It didn’t take too long before you were stood before the Jedi Council, cold looks sent your way but the Master’s shields were so secure you couldn’t feel their emotions, couldn’t determine just how bad this was going to be for you. You stood in silence, waiting for one of them to speak first, waited for them to express their disapproval, to judge every aspect of your relationship with Obi-Wan like they were privy to the ins and outs of it.

“Reckless, young Padawan, you have been.” Master Yoda spoke finally and even as every part of you wanted to shrink against the words, wanted to curl in on yourself, you refused and instead stood straight, pushing your shoulders back and swallowed around the lump in your throat.

“Many lives, you jeopardised. The mission, all for Padawan Kenobi, you risked.” You knew he was right, you couldn’t argue with his words but you stuck by your actions.

What should have been a simple mission with Obi-Wan aiding Master Qui-Gon on a diplomatic trip ended with Obi-Wan and the Senator being capture for days on end with the Council doing little to help, having no ransom demands, no threats, or taunts to go on and no trail to follow.

You had gone to them and told them you could help but they had brushed you aside. You knew if Qui-Gon had been there he would have allowed you to speak but he was still on the planet Obi-Wan had been taken from. 

You could feel nothing but pain coming from the bond between you and Obi-Wan, feeling it as if it were your own. You tried to call to him but he never answered and you couldn’t blame him, not when you could feel the pain and torture he was feeling. You tried to send as much positivity, positivity you didn’t even feel, through the bond, not even sure if he could feel it through the pain but you needed him to know he would be ok, that you were going to get him one way or another.

Stealing a ship wasn’t your finest moment but you could feel Obi-Wan slipping away as each day went by, all the while the Council sat in their meeting room, trying to find out where Obi-Wan was. You had never had to locate Obi-Wan using your bond, there had never been a need for it when you spent every day together, give or take mission days, but you knew you could do it, you knew you could find him.

And you had found him, he wasn’t the only one who had been taken, there were many citizens in the holding place. You hardly spared them a second glance, focus only on finding Obi-Wan so much so that you didn’t hear the person sneaking up behind you, only barely avoiding the blaster shot and watching as it hit a Twi’lek, her body slumping over but you didn’t have time to dwell on it as you pulled your lightsaber out and deflected more blaster shots, not even looking at the bodies around you.

Eventually you were surrounded on all sides and were giving as good as you got, only pausing when you felt your bond with Obi-Wan fill with a pain that almost sent you to your knees before the bond stuttered. Panic surged through you and it hadn’t taken you long to deal with the people shooting at you, leaving their bodies behind as you let the Force guide your way to Obi-Wan.

You froze in the doorway, only able to stare at his body trapped in a containment field, he was being forced upright but his body still sagged in pain, blood pouring from his lip and he looked a mess. Before you could even think about walking towards him a blaster shot ran past your head forcing you to look away from Obi-Wan and begin fighting with the only person in the room with him, as well as the two droids either side of him.

This was the first time you had ever been in a situation like this, one where you had to fight without a Master overseeing your actions but you didn’t have time to dwell on it, didn’t have time to think about anything other than getting Obi-Wan from the containment field and as far away from this place as possible. With only that thought in your head it was surprisingly easy to deal with the human and droids until only you and Obi-Wan remained in the room.

Getting him from the containment field had been easy enough with some help from the Force, carrying this weight over your shoulder was less easy but you managed, walking right past all the other people who had been taken, knowing that somewhere among the people was the Senator that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been tasked with protecting but your only goal was getting Obi-Wan to safety.

And now Obi-Wan was tucked up in a bed at the far side of the healing chambers and you were stood before the Council ready to accept whatever punishment was decided for you, knowing full well you didn’t regret your decision and would make the same choices again in a heartbeat.

“Anything to say, have you?” Master Yoda asked and you wondered whether you should defend your actions or just accept the punishment and get back to Obi-Wan. 

You found your gaze seeking out Master Qui-Gon, his eyes already locked on you, giving you an encouraging nod to do whatever you thought was best and as much as you wanted to be at Obi-Wan’s side you also wanted to speak.

You knew anything you had to say would not settle the Council, in fact you were aware that your words would do quite the opposite and cause them to question your loyalties, to see just how far the bond between you and Obi-Wan, how it went much deeper than they thought.

Even before you realised your feelings for Obi-Wan you had never understood why Jedi couldn’t fall in love, why attachments were such a bad thing. After realising you were in love with your best friend you hated the rule even more, hated that your own feelings had to be squashed to nothing to serve the greater good, that all you were supposed to have was your duty. 

“I won’t apologise for my actions, Masters.” You began, watching as a smile spread across Qui-Gon’s face. “My goal was to save Obi-Wan, to save the man who I knew was barely holding on, a man who went through pain for days as you sat in this very room doing nothing productive to find him. I came to you all and offered my assistance, told you I could find Obi-Wan and yet I was dismissed whilst he was hurting. Had I been listened to I could have led you to Obi-Wan and with more aid you could have gotten the Senator and the others but I am only one person and I was only there for Obi-Wan.”

The room was silent, nobody willing to admit that you had a point, you had come to them but they had dismissed your plea to help as a way of inserting yourself into the rescue mission to see what was happening. 

However, they could also see the attachment clearly, see how you only focused on Obi-Wan when any other Jedi would have focused on the citizens taken. Qui-Gon was the only Master smiling, the rest sat with frowns and far away looks as you stood tall, waiting to see which Master would break the silence first.

“There is a reason attachments are forbidden, young Padawan, it is an easy fall to the Dark Side from there.” Master Windu said and you just about refrained from rolling your eyes but you needn’t have bothered suppressing it as Master Windu clearly picked up on it. “Surely even you can see that, blinded as you are by your attachment to the Kenobi boy. What would have happened if he was already dead? You may have killed them to save the boy but what would you have done to get revenge.”

“I am not going to go Dark Side, Master Windu, just because I care for Obi-Wan. You can speculate and call upon what if’s all you like but I won’t fall.” You said, voice calm and steady, not daring to show any of the  anger you felt, knowing it would only fuel their doubts about your loyalty. 

You hated how the Jedi only seemed to see things in black and white, how they couldn’t see the middle ground. Love didn’t always have to be a thing to be feared, a thing that would turn a good Jedi to the Dark Side, how the smallest attachment would be catastrophic. 

“Promise that, you cannot. Easy to fall should anything happen to Padawan Kenobi, it will be.” Master Yoda said and you knew there was no arguing with them, knew they had already made their mind up over the situation.

“What is my punishment, Masters?” You sighed softly, just waiting to be with Obi-Wan now. 

You glanced over at Qui-Gon as you heard a soft chuckle, watching as the others glared at him but he didn’t pay them any mind, instead focusing his attention on you and sending you a warm smile.  

“Your punishment, young Padawan, is no more missions until we decide you pose no risk of falling to the Dark Side, you will be in Archive security. When we deem you fit to return to duty and will not be paired alongside Padawan Kenobi.” You barely suppressed the outraged exclamation at not being paired with Obi-Wan anymore, especially when everyone knew the two of you worked together perfectly, completely in sync like you were the same person, always knowing the others move without having to exchange words but you choked it down, refusing to show them how much it affected you.

“Master Windu-” Qui-Gon began but was cut off by the man before he could speak further.

“The decision is final and Padawan Y/L/N should be glad that is all the punishment is.” Master Windu said and you knew to him he thought he was right but to you, taking you away from Obi-Wan was the worst punishment he could give.

“Do you really think it wise to separate them? Not even you can deny how well they work together.” Master Qui-Gon said and you felt a warmth run through you at Obi-Wan’s Master, at the Master who had practically taken you on as his own with no complaints, the man who had encouraged and approved of your ever growing relationship with Obi-Wan.

“The decision is final.” Master Windu said, his voice cold and stern, telling you there was no room for discussion. “Oh, Padawan Y/L/N, one more condition of your punishment before you leave.”

“Yes, Master Windu?” You tried to take a calming breath, tried to push all your emotions into the Force but found it didn’t help.

“You are to end your relationship with Padawan Kenobi immediately.” As the words left Master Windu’s mouth you felt your eyes fill with tears, a laugh of disbelief escaping you as you shook your head. “That is non-negotiable, Padawan Y/L/N.”

You shook your head again, never really having stopped, refusing to even entertain the idea. Instead of saving anything, instead of waiting to be dismissed you turned around and walked out of the room, ignoring the annoyed call of your name telling you this meeting wasn’t over. It was, it was well and truly over because if they thought they could ask that of you, demanded that of you, and you would stick around they weren’t as smart as people gave them credit for. 

You stormed through the hallways, glared as people stared at you in the turbolift. Ignoring the whispers that followed you down to the medical quarters you quickly made your way to Obi-Wan’s bed, drawing the privacy screens to finally block everyone out. 

You wished some days you could just leave, you knew Obi-Wan would follow you. The two of you could just run off together, hide away on a far off planet, a little house just for the two of you. It was a great dream but you knew deep down that wasn’t the path for either of you. You had always known Obi-Wan was destined for something more, something amazing and you could feel you were meant to be at his side, helping him when he needed guidance. 

Your anger could be felt so strongly, you had always known that once you and Obi-Wan got together that the stakes would be high, there was so much on the line and it was always going to be risky but it had finally come to a head, the Council finally deciding that your relationship was dangerous. 

You couldn’t help but scoff at the thought, how anyone could associate Obi-Wan and being dangerous together was beyond you.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you weren’t glad to see me alive.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke through your thoughts, instantly cutting through the anger you felt.

Your head lifted to his, eyes still watery and a few tears had made their way down your face causing Obi-Wan’s concerned look to deepen. 

“What happened, dear?” He asked softly, sitting up in bed and only feeling a twinge of pain after being in the bacta tank for so long.

You could only shake your head, seemingly unable to produce any words as more tears filled your eyes. 

“Come here.” Obi-Wan murmured, shifting over in his bed and pulling the thin covers back for you to climb in next to him.

It was exactly what you needed, crawling into the small bed with him, cuddling into him until an outsider wouldn’t be able to tell where you ended and Obi-Wan started. Obi-Wan didn’t rush you to talk even despite his worry, he just wrapped you in his arms and let you cry into his chest. Whispering soft, comforting words whilst his hand slipped into yours, entwining them together, the hand tough from years of wielding a lightsaber but seemed like it had been made perfectly for you to hold, feeling like your hands belonged together.

“Why do they get to speculate if our relationship is wrong, Obi?” You whispered into his chest after some time had passed.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but frown at your words but before he could say anything you were speaking again.

“They don’t know anything about me and you, they don’t know that I could never fall to the Dark Side because when I’m around you I feel lighter than ever.  I feel my happiest and yet they want to take that away from us, they get to decide the verdict, decide how our lives should be lived.” You ranted, finally able to speak freely knowing Obi-Wan wouldn’t share your words with anyone. 

“What happened?” Obi-Wan asked again when it was clear you weren’t going to say anything else.

“I was called before the Council,” you said, shifting to look up at him just in time for him to see you roll your eyes causing him to smile, “they wanted to discuss my punishment.”

“Your punishment? You saved my life, how could they punish that?” Obi-Wan asked in confusion, leaning into your touch as you brushed a piece of hair back from his forehead before letting your hand trail down to cup his cheek, thumb brushing across his cheekbone.

“I rescued you without their permission, even though when I tried to go to them nobody listened. When I rescued you, Obi-Wan I could feel you dying through our bond, I could feel the pain they inflicted on you and the life draining from you and I acted on instinct. I killed the people who took you hostage and other hostages died because of it and when I got you I left them and the Senator there.” You told him and he could see on your face you didn’t regret it. 

“Thank you for saving me.” He murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours softly, feeling you relax further into him as you kissed him back, pulling him impossibly closer before the two of you pulled away, foreheads resting against each other. “What did the council say?” He whispered, no need to be any louder from this distance.

“That we can’t work missions together anymore,” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened at that, not completely shocked but it was no secret the two of you were an incredible duo, the bond between you only strengthening your success. “I’m not to be on missions until they give me permission and we have to break up.”

Obi-Wan could only stare at you, your eyes filling with tears again as you scrunched them shut in an effort to stop them falling. Obi-Wan shifted and pulled you into his arms, tucking you under his chin and feeling you bury your face against him. 

For a while the two of you stayed silent, content to be in each other’s arms as you let the words hang in the air. Your stomach felt sick as you waited to hear what Obi-Wan had to say, he had always been more concerned at following the rules, at being a good Jedi compared to you.

“I love you, Y/N,” Obi-Wan murmured and the smile that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped, “I love everything about you and no snide remarks from the other Padawan’s or verdicts from the Council is ever going to change that. We knew this wouldn’t be easy, hoped that they wouldn’t find out but knew they would eventually and they might think they hold power over us but they can’t take what’s ours, they can’t take our love away from us. You know you just have to say the words, I’d leave this Temple with you in an instant, I’d follow you to the end of the galaxy and all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re meant to be here, Obi-Wan,” You said, pulling back again to smile up at him with watery eyes and he couldn’t help but smile back. “And I’m meant to be by your side. It’s not going to be easy but you belong here. We’ll make it work, I don’t care how hard it gets so long as you’re mine and we have each other. I love you, Obi-Wan.” 

“You have too much faith in me, dear one.” Obi-Wan told you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I will be yours until you no longer wish to have me, no matter what the Council demands.”

“Then you’ll be mine forever.” You grinned up at him and he mirrored the expression before leaning down to kiss you again, this time more wildly, with a hunger that only your lips could ease. 

“Forever it is, my beloved.” He murmured against your lips before leaning back in to kiss you, fingers tangling in your hair as you gripped his shirt, only pulling away when it became necessary to breathe.

It was easy to forget about the Council member’s decisions, easy to forget about the looks you received walking through the Temple, easy to forget that there was a whole world beyond the privacy screens as Obi-Wan pulled you into his chest. The two of you comfortably tangled around each other as you closed your eyes, the earlier blood boiling anger you’d felt completely gone after being with Obi-Wan and it was easy to drift off in his arms. 

Neither of you were naive enough to think it’d be easy to hide your relationship from the Council now, knew that the next few weeks, months, even years would be long and difficult but like you had said so long as you had each other the two of you could get through anything. So long as you had each other, loved each other with every fibre of your being then not even the Council could take that away from you. 

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Angstember Prompt -  "I thought I might find you here."

When you and Anakin first met you were nothing more than the Senator’s daughter. You knew one day you would have to take your family’s seat in the Senate and dreaded when such a day would arrive. Anakin had heard you complain about it on several occasions, watching you rant as he smiled over at your pacing figure. It never took long for you to calm down once you saw his smile and often ended with you flopping down next to him, your head on his shoulder.

Anakin had been a good friend, brought to your side after several attempts on your life. At first you had resented the Jedi guarding you, insisting it wasn’t necessary but then you had met him, one easy smile was all it took to silence your complaints. 

From there the two of you became fast friends, Anakin taking your protection seriously but he wasn’t stifling like the other bodyguards were. With Anakin he was more than happy to sneak out of your house, more than happy to explore the planet with you so long as you stayed by his side. It wasn’t a shock when you found yourself catching feelings for the young Jedi, you saw him every day and he was always more than kind to you. He treated you like an actual person, somebody who could be joked around with rather than a political ally. 

Even though he treated you normally, he made you feel special. It was in the little things he did, whether it was remembering your order from the little Twi’lek run bakery or knowing when you needed to get away from the palace and getting you out as quickly and discreetly as possible, taking your hand in his and leading you down to the lake on the grounds, the two of you sitting there for hours talking about nothing and everything. 

You let yourself fall further and further in love with the young man even though you knew it would only break your heart. Jedi weren’t allowed to date, they couldn’t form attachments or love others as you wished Anakin could love you. It didn’t matter to you though, you didn’t need Anakin to love you, so long as you had him at your side you could be content with what you had. 

Of course sometimes Anakin was pulled away from you when he was needed for a bigger mission but he always came back and you were always waiting for him. 

There was one particular mission that changed everything for the both of you. 

Anakin hadn’t been able to tell you anything about this mission, not because he wasn’t allowed, which he definitely wasn’t but that never stopped him, but because Obi-Wan commed him in the middle of the night demanding he meet him on another planet and to be prepared for anything. 

You had woken up to Anakin bursting through your door, frantically throwing his robe on and attaching the hilt of his lightsaber to his hip as he explained to you he had to go and would be back soon. 

In his hurried state he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead that had you feeling heat in your cheeks before he left, smiling over his shoulder at you as you called a ‘may the Force be with you’ after him. 

From there, there had been nothing but silence from Anakin for a month and a half. Luckily though you were the daughter of a Senator and if you wanted information it usually wasn’t too hard to get. However, information surrounding the Jedi mission seemed to be on a need to know basis and none of your usual contacts could tell you anything. It didn’t matter though, you had gotten quite used to listening in on conversations, blending into your surroundings so people forgot you were there. 

Anakin and Obi-Wan had been sent on a mission undercover it seemed, from what little you were able to pick up on. Apparently it hadn’t gone well and the man they had been sent for had figured out who they were. 

You took that to mean the worst and after hearing somebody say the Council was worried that they had had no contact with either Jedi your stomach turned sick. It was the longest you had been away from Anakin where you weren’t also able to talk to him and your fear only got worse as the days went by. 

You became more closed off, more and more snappish with people who tried to get you to do your duties. More than once you’d stormed from rooms, uncaring about the scandalised looks, important figures shot you and the embarrassed ones coming from your parents. You barely slept, kept awake at night by terrible dreams of all the things that could be happening to Anakin. You wished more than ever that you had a connection to the Force, wished to have a solid connection in your mind to Anakin like he shared with Obi-Wan so he could tell you where he was, so you could save him like he had saved you more times than you could count. 

You hated feeling so useless, hated that Anakin was out there, trapped on some planet you didn’t even know the name of, with no idea what was happening to him. The only people who knew the full details seemed to be the Jedi Council and they weren’t exactly going to give you any information, no matter how important your parents were. 

More days passed and you were forced into a meeting room, forced to sit in on a Senate meeting between your parents and other Senators from four different planets, you hardly bothered to remember their names. You had no idea what was being discussed, paid no attention and didn’t bother to feign like you were. It didn’t go unnoticed but you missed the looks of disdain from the Senators and the disapproving looks from your parents.

“You will work alongside these people one day,” your father told you once the other Senators left, turning straight to you with a shake of his head. “You have to earn their respect and this attitude is not going to do that. It makes you look like a petulant child. I know you’re worried for your Jedi but that is no excuse for such behaviour.”

You rolled your eyes at his words but couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest. Anakin was your Jedi and you had no idea what you would do if he didn't come home to you.

Around the two month mark you were a mess. There wasn't a better word for how you were feeling. With every night that passed the nightmares that plagued you grew worse to the point where you were now on day four of having no sleep. You could barely bring yourself to eat, sick with worry for your Jedi and even the thought of food had your stomach churning. 

One night you woke up panting, sweat pooled on your head as you shot up and clutched the bedsheets. It took you longer than usual to calm down enough that you could breathe properly though your breath still came out shakily.

Unable to sit in your room, you forced yourself out of bed, needing a moment to fight against the shakiness you felt before you slipped into a pair of shoes and threw a robe over yourself. 

Making your way out of the palace was easy enough and without a real destination in mind you found yourself walking the grounds aimlessly, the cold air doing you a world of good. Without meaning to your feet carried you down to the river, body seemingly on autopilot as you were taken to the spot Anakin had found for the two of you long ago. 

It was far enough from the palace that it couldn’t be seen, a giant tree decorated with pink and purple flowers provided shelter from the sun and from anyone who might be nearby. 

It was a beautiful place, one that never failed to calm you. It did the job tonight even if being here sent an ache to your heart. Since discovering this place you had never come here without Anakin and it felt strange to do so now but it also brought you a sense of calm, like you could feel Anakin all around you. 

You wished for his safe return every minute of the day, prayed that the Council would find them and bring Anakin home. Your heart ached for him, your mind filled with words that you had never let yourself speak for fear of him leaving, now wishing he was here to hear every word of it. 

He might not have been able to return your feelings but at least he would know how you felt, he would be able to find peace and warmth in the knowledge that you loved him more than anything in the galaxy, that no matter what you would always be waiting for him. 

Your mind wandered far enough off that you became unaware of your surroundings, unaware of the sun beginning to rise and of the leaves crunching from not far behind you. 

“I thought I might find you here.” A familiar voice, one you had missed for weeks, for months said, causing you to whip your head around so fast it hurt. 

You didn’t say anything for a moment, frozen in place and only able to stare as if it were a ghost before you rather than the Jedi that had come to be yours. 

“Anakin?” You finally managed to force out, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes. 

You were on your feet in a matter of seconds, running straight at Anakin with no warning but it didn’t matter, the Jedi was ready to catch you, arms already open for you. The second you were in his arms, crashing into him so hard he had to take a few steps back just to keep the two of you up, Anakin wrapped you up tightly holding you close to his chest.

You held him back, hands fisting the robes he wore as you buried your face in his chest, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks as you sobbed into him. One of Anakin’s hands shifted to tangle into your hair, holding your head close to him as his other rubbed circles into your back, tears filling his own eyes and some trickling down his cheeks.

“Anakin.” Was all you were able to sob out and Anakin softly shushed you, pressing his lips to the top of your head and letting them rest there, not pulling away from you.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here, I’m back.” Anakin murmured into your hair and you grip tightened on his robes as another sob left you, Anakin continuing to whisper soft reassurances until your sobs finally turned into sniffles and gasps for breath.

“I was so scared.” You whispered into his chest and had you not literally been wrapped around each other he would have missed the words. “I was terrified of what had happened to you.” 

“Look at me,” He said, pulling back only far enough so that he could rest his forehead on yours, the hand in your hair moving to cup your cheek. “I’m ok. I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be an easy mission and then, well everything went as badly as it could but I’m ok, me and Obi-Wan got away and the Council got us out.

Your own hand came up to cup his cheek, your thumb running along his cheekbone as you listened to him speak. Two months he had been captured for, two months he had gone through things that would haunt him for a long time if that look in his eyes told you anything. 

Two months of not knowing, of being sick with worry, all vanished as you looked at him. He was a little skinnier than the last time you had seen him, cheekbones more prominent and he had dark circles under his eyes. There were a few cuts on his face, a bruise you could see fading on his wrist and he looked exhausted.

Even with the exhaustion on his face you could still see how relieved he was, relieved to finally be rescued, to be home, to be with you. For two months his thoughts stayed on you, through every beating and interrogation, through every hit and burn his thoughts stayed on you, on making sure he got out of this so he could see you again, so he could hold you in his arms and never let you go.

To finally be here, to finally have you in his arms, to have you this close to him, to feel your shaky breaths on his face made everything better. It made the pain he still felt more bearable. It was all he had thought about, there were times when he truly thought him and Obi-Wan were going to die, that by the time help came for them they would be long gone. Even when he felt his hope slipping his thoughts still went back to you, of how you would react to hearing the news. Nobody would think to tell you first, to give you warning. As far as the Council was concerned you were nothing more than a mission to him, an order to keep the Senator’s daughter safe because she was an easy target and had absolutely no concern for her own safety. 

And of course that was all you had started out as, a mission for him, a task to keep you alive. It was a mission that if the Council knew just what it had caused, knew the feelings it stirred within Anakin’s mind and heart, they would have regretted it. They spoke so much about how Jedi should not form attachments, how love would lead them to the Dark Side and then forced him onto a mission he hadn’t wanted where he had met the girl of his dreams.

Anakin loved you, more deeply than he had loved anything in his entire life. He could see why the Jedi could think it was a bad thing, all the love he felt for you was overwhelming at times. He knew he would do anything to keep you safe, anything you asked of him without a moment's hesitation. You held so much power over him, power you didn’t even know you held and yet Anakin wasn’t scared, he didn’t think he’d ever be tempted to the Dark Side because of the love he felt for you. If anything, the way you had him wrapped around your little finger and the love he felt was enough to keep him Light Side forever, he would never fall because he knew that wasn’t a path you could follow. You were the best person he knew and he would do anything to be the best person in your life.

Anakin couldn’t help himself, after two months of being tortured alongside Obi-Wan, forced to listen to his Master in pain, forced to spend two months away from you, Anakin was a weak man. He had kept himself back for years, told himself it was not the Jedi way to form attachments but who was Anakin kidding? He knew he felt more deeply than most of the Jedi and for years now he knew he was too attached to you to even begin breaking the string tying you together, the two of you so entwined it would be an impossible task.

Without warning, without hesitation Anakin leaned down. There was hardly any distance between the two of you anyway, foreheads pressed together as you breathed each other's air. He barely had to tilt his head before his lips were brushing against yours, it was a soft touching of lips and yet it created so much electricity between the two of you.

Anakin waited for a reaction before he deepened the kiss but he didn’t get a chance as you pulled him closer, seemingly waiting for his lips against yours for as long as he had been. Once you pulled him close, lips slotting against each other the energy shifted instantly. Gone was the soft, barely there touch of lips and in its place was desperation, longing, fear, relief, too many emotions to name crammed into one messy kiss. 

Anakin’s hands cupped your face, pulling you impossibly closer as your hands moved to his chest, gripping the fabric in your hands as you savoured everything about the kiss, the way his were slightly chapped against your own, the way his hands felt on your face and the way the sparks seemed to fly.

Anakin, unlike you, could feel the Force around the two of you, practically singing in happiness as you kissed each other until you were breathless and then some, only pulling away when the need for air truly became too much. The two of you stayed close though, bringing your foreheads back together and panting as you caught your breath.

“I should get captured more often.” Anakin murmured playfully, smiling down at you and laughing as you pulled away from him, just far enough so you could slap his chest before cuddling back into him.

Anakin smiled into your hair, settling your head under his chin as he held you close, more than content to enjoy this moment. 

“You ever do anything like that again-” You started but Anakin cut you off with a soft laugh and a kiss to your hair.

“Trust me, I don’t plan to ever be away from you for that long again. I don’t know what was worse the torture or not seeing your beautiful smile for two months. Stars, I nearly told them what they wanted to know just to see you again.” Anakin told you, grinning at you as you pulled your head back to look up at him, rolling your eyes at his words but not denying him of the smile that spread across your lips.

“I’m glad you’re home.” You told him softly and his grin faded into a smile as he kissed your forehead and held you to his chest.

The Jedi temple had never truly been his home, he used to think his small hut back on Tatooine was his true home but standing here with you, in your spot by the lake, sun rising and casting a soft orange glow across the planet, he knew in his heart this was his home.

Not the planet, not the beautifully rich palace behind him but the girl in his arms. You were his home, you would always be his home and you would forever have his heart. It was yours to hold, yours to cherish and yours to break. 

If it were anyone else before him he might have been terrified at the thought but because it was you it didn’t even cross his mind to be scared of what was to come. He trusted you with his life, with his heart, with everything. He knew you were the one for him, you were his love and he would do everything he could to keep you and the love between you safe.

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Enough for You

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Angstember Prompt -  "I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you."

In the beginning, like most things were, it was good. It started with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your heart skipping a beat, it evolved into realisation of what your feelings were and hope that he could feel the same. It grew into stolen glances and longing until it finally turned into a desperate kiss, your face cupped in his hands and yours gripping the fabric of his robe.

Like all things, it started out good.

Of course once the two of you sorted through your feelings, once the two of you finally sat down together and confessed that you wanted more than friendship, it had to be kept a secret. Neither of you cared about that though, it was nice having something that was only yours. 

And for two years it was good.

You and Anakin hardly had that awkward stage at the beginning of your relationship, the one that consisted of dancing around each other as you got to know one another. You had been friends for years, you had met him when you were ten years old, your Master had fallen ill and had been confined to the Halls of Healing leaving you alone. Anakin had found you one day, struggling to meditate and that’s how Obi-Wan found his Padawan hours later, sat next to you as he taught you as his Master taught him.

From there on you and Anakin had become inseparable, a closeness that had many raising an eyebrow but only voiced concerns quietly to each other. Master Jedi may not have liked how close you were, a friendship that seemed like an attachment, but they couldn’t deny when your Master’s went on missions together you and Anakin worked flawlessly together. 

As the years passed the bond between you and Anakin only got stronger and stronger. The two of you were always at each other's side, training together, exploring the grounds and the Temple, sneaking out together and seeing Coruscant together. There had been occasions where you and Anakin had stolen one of the speeders so Anakin could show off to you, it always ended with you clinging to him as he took corners way too fast and Obi-Wan scolding the pair of you. 

Seven years of friendship seemed to fly by as fast as Anakin on a speeder and suddenly the two of you were seventeen. Neither of you particularly liked looking back on most of your time as seventeen years old, not when it was the first year that saw the two of you distancing yourselves from the other. 

It wasn’t as though you’d had a falling out with each other, it wasn't like you didn’t want to spend your days at his side but it was the first year that you both seemed to make sense of everything you had been feeling. Of course these feelings weren’t new to either of you, you had both been feeling them for years now but before they didn’t seem significant, they didn’t seem like something that needed to be looked into because they didn’t mean anything back then.

But now…now they meant something and you couldn’t be around Anakin without becoming flustered and he couldn’t be around you without flushing and stammering through a sentence. 

It wasn’t a pleasant eight months to say the least. Both of you had become so used to spending seven years attached to each other that to suddenly be without the other was lonely, there wasn’t a better word for it. Both of you were lonely and it was for that reason that you both eventually ended up sitting down with each other and telling each other how you felt.

Obviously it wasn’t an easy conversation. The Jedi had spent years drilling it into your heads about how attachments were wrong, about how loving a singular person was a one way path to the Dark Side. To confess your feelings to each other went against everything you had both been taught and yet it hadn’t stopped you. If any was going to break the Jedi Code then it would come as no shock to anybody that it would be you and Anakin.

After that conversation things quickly went back to normal and you and Anakin easily fell back into each other's lives like you’d never been separated. It worried many of the elder Jedi but others, like Obi-Wan and your own Master, were just relieved after having put up with eight months of grumpy and sad Padawan’s.

It wasn’t hard to keep your relationship a secret. By now you and Anakin knew plenty of hiding places in the Temple and the two of you disappearing for hours had long since stopped concerning people so nobody would come looking for you. It also helped that your Master’s tended to go on missions together so you and Anakin were able to sneak away there and explore the new sights together. There had been plenty of times you’d been in his chambers or him in yours and had nearly been caught locked at the lips but Anakin was quite good at multitasking and was always able to warn you before somebody entered the room, giving you a minute to compose yourselves.

In the time you had been dating Anakin had snuck you out of the Temple more times than you could count, always pulling you along with him to whatever surprise he had planned. Sometimes it was a picnic in a quiet place that took a long time to get to but it was always worth it. Other times it was to explore different things, join celebrations in the city, many times though it was a chance to blend in amongst the crowd and act like a normal couple. 

It might have been annoying at times to hide your relationship, neither you nor Anakin saw how it would lead you to the Dark Side, but you made it work.

And then Master Kenobi walked into his chambers, you and Anakin barely having time to pull away from each other as he did. Master Kenobi looked between the two of you with a look you couldn’t quite discern but it was gone just as quietly as he told you and Anakin you were to watch over the Senator of Naboo.

Anakin immediately beamed at the news causing you to raise an eyebrow but you shrugged it off and instead asking why you were going. It wasn’t rare for you to join Anakin and Obi-Wan on a mission but usually your Master joined though lately it was becoming less often as he got older. Obi-Wan just smiled at you and told you your Master had suggested it to the Council and they had agreed.

It wasn’t long until the three of you were on your way to meet the Senator. You liked to think you knew Anakin pretty well by now, liked to think you could read his easily but now as you stared at him, fingers tugging on the braid as his leg bounced you would have said, easily, that he was nervous. 

But what was there to be nervous about?

Obi-Wan too picked up on Anakin’s nerves as the three of you arrived at the Senate building and entered the turbolift up to the Senator’s apartment, glancing at his Padawan who fidgeted with his robes and tugged on the braid again.

“You seem a little on edge.” Obi-wan prompted, breaking the silence in the lift and you couldn’t help but stand straighter, waiting for Anakin’s response.

“Not at all.” Anakin replied, the words entirely unconvincing to you, causing your eyebrows to knit together as you frowned, folding your arms together. 

Obi-Wan continued on and you listened to the two of them bicker back and forth for a moment before the two of them laughed and Obi-Wan turned towards his Padawan, just looking for a second before he spoke.

“You’re sweating,” He told Anakin and you lifted your head slightly at that, looking at Anakin out of the corners of your eyes and seeing Obi-Wan was right. “Relax, take a deep breath.”

You had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a bad one, one that felt heavy and cold and you desperately tried to push it away. Nothing had happened, so what Anakin was nervous, so what he was acting like he had when the two of you didn’t speak in the eight months you had drifted apart because of your crush. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.” Anakin murmured quietly to Obi-Wan and you closed your eyes desperate to fight back any emotion, trying to force everything you were feeling out into the Force. 

Nothing more was said in the turbolift, Obi-Wan just let out a small sigh and Anakin frowned, glancing at you before doing a double take as if he had forgot you were there but you just looked ahead, acting as if you had missed the look before the door opened and you stepped out. 

Seeing the Senator of Naboo only made the cold feeling inside you grow. Of course she was beautiful, with her hair pulled up in an intricate design, his voice soft and light. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that seemed to light up as she looked at Anakin, looked at Ani. 

Of course she was beautiful. 

Anakin himself seemed even more nervous than he had been in the turbolift. As he addressed her a smile came across his face, shy and sweet and adoring. Then he went and called her beautiful and he wasn’t wrong but it still twisted the knife you felt had been plunged into you. 

Obi-Wan glanced away as Anakin stumbled over his words, a look on his face as if to say what in the stars is he doing before it was replaced by a concerned look as he took in the look on your face. You thought you were doing a better job at hiding it but apparently not, apparently there was enough hurt, enough jealousy and fear on your face to give something away. 

You forced yourself again to expel your feelings into the Force, perhaps too forcefully if the way Anakin turned to you and Obi-Wan’s raised eyebrows meant anything.

“Ah Senator, this is Padawan Y/F/N Y/L/N, she will be assisting in the protection of your safety.” Obi-Wan introduced you softly, sparing you another concerned glance but you forced a neutral look onto your face before bowing your head towards the Senator.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” She said in that soft tone of hers, a warm smile on her face as she held a hand out for you.

“Pleased to meet you, Senator.” You replied evenly, swallowing against the lump in your throat you reached out and shook her hand.

Obi-Wan began discussions about Padmé’s protection with Captain Typho and you listened half-heartedly though you didn’t take much in. You sat on one side of Obi-Wan and Anakin sat on the other, something which made Obi-Wan raise an eyebrow but as he looked at Anakin he saw his gaze was focused on Padmé and you were much more interested in your fingers playing with your robes than you were with him.

“-not to start an investigation.” You heard Obi-Wan tell the Senator but then Anakin quickly interrupted him in a way he wouldn't have had the Senator been anybody else.

“We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé.” At those words you glanced up, looking over far enough to see Obi-Wan’s look of disapproval, disapproval that only deepened at Anakin’s next words. “I promise you.”

As Obi-Wan argued against Anakin’s words you couldn’t help but look away again, not baring to look at Anakin or Padmé. He was trying to impress her, his mission here wasn’t about finding the person trying to kill her it was only to protect and yet here he was jumping at the chance to do as she asked, the chance to gain her favour. 

You knew it all too well because it was what he had done with you, in an effort to impress you any time you said you wanted something Anakin wouldn’t hesitate to do it in hopes that you would like him more. Of course you hadn’t realised that was what he was doing until after you were dating but now you saw it clear as day.

The cold feeling in your stomach only grew as Anakin argued with Obi-Wan, desperate to find the person trying to kill the Senate. You hated the sudden stinging in your eyes and your lips quivered as you tried to fight tears back. There was no use getting upset, you could still be blowing this out of proportion.

And yet something told you you weren’t. You didn’t have a good feeling about this mission.

It wasn’t long until everyone retired from the meeting leaving you, Anakin and Obi-Wan alone. Anakin went out to the balcony and Obi-Wan followed behind him. You stayed where you were on the sofa, barely noticing them leave as your mind was clouded with sadness and anger. 

Perhaps this is why the Jedi didn’t let you fall in love, to form attachments. 

Of course you weren’t planning on falling to the Dark Side just because Anakin had a crush on the Senator but you could see how a Jedi could fall. How the anger and pain at losing a loved one in such a way, a way that would create jealousy and hatred, could lead to a Jedi falling. 

You loved Anakin with all your heart. At first it had scared you just how much power Anakin held over you, how he had the ability to break you with just a few words but then months passed, beautiful and joyous months that settled your nerves. He was it for you, there would never be another.

You had once thought he felt the same for you.

He said he hadn’t seen the Senator for ten years, a year before he met you. All that time he had spent with you she was somewhere in his mind, however distant, she was there. You had seen his face when she spoke to him, the guilt as he glanced at you in the turbolift, he had always had her in his mind.

Whilst your entire heart was his, he only shared a bit of his with you, some part of it always belonged to her even if he had been but a child when he first met her.

You lay on the sofa, facing the back of it and closed your eyes but it did nothing to stop the tears that slid from them and it took all your effort to cry silently, to push the sobs you felt down. 

You had never been his, not in the way he had been yours. 

“I’d much rather dream about Padmé.” You heard Anakin tell Obi-Wan as they stepped closer to the main room, “just being around her again is intoxicating.”

“And what of Y/N?” You heard Obi-Wan ask and your blood ran cold again as you forced yourself to relax as they entered the room, not wanting them to know you were awake. You missed the questioning glance Anakin shot towards Obi-Wan, surely the man couldn’t know. “I would have thought after spending so many years at her side, Padmé wouldn’t have filled your thoughts.”

Anakin was silent for a long moment, a moment that you spent trying to stay quiet, even as sobs built up in your throat.

“Of course when I’m with Y/N it’s different. They’re so different from each other that Padmé doesn’t cross my mind all that often but I still think about her. I still dream about her some days, the angel I met on Tatooine.” Anakin’s words had you pleading with the Force, desperate to stay silent even as you felt your heart break. “Y/N is my best friend but compared to Padmé-”

“And here I thought Y/N meant more to you than that.” Obi-Wan murmured thoughtfully, causing Anakin to still and turn to face his Master.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin asked defensively.

“Nothing, young Padawan, just that I have spent years watching you and Y/N, watching as your friendship grew. I suggest if you feel this way for Padmé you tell Y/N how you feel. Not that it should matter of course, you swore your commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment that forbids attachment, not that I need to remind you of that, right Padawan?” You felt your heart skip a beat at Obi-Wan’s words because he knew- he knew about you and Anakin.

There was no doubt about it, Obi-Wan had to know why else would bring you up at all? If you were truly just a friend to Anakin why would he have to tell you that he loved the Senator. Obi-Wan knew about you and Anakin, how long had he known? Why had he let the two of you carry on instead of turning you over to the Council for such a blatant breach of the Code?

“Of course not, Master. I am well aware of the Code.” Anakin told him evenly, glancing away from his Master.

As the two of them spoke you felt something shift, a disturbance that had you frowning as you tried to figure out whether it was something in the Force warning you of danger or if it were simply your own emotions.

“I sense it too.” You heard Obi-Wan say and you sat up in time to see them running into the Senator’s room. 

You quickly wiped your eyes on your robe and followed behind them and watched as Anakin pulled his lightsaber out, dealing with whatever had been about to harm the Senator. 

You were able to ignore your feelings as you took in the scene but then Obi-Wan told you to watch over the Senator as he and Anakin went to track down the droid and though you hated the thought you nodded and watched them leave.

You glanced at the Senator and found the feelings slamming into you, the pain and the hurt and the anger all too overwhelming.

“Are you alright?” Padmé asked you, even in the darkness of the room she could see the redness of your eyes.

“Just fine.” You told her evenly, voice coming out cold as you tried to choke back your emotions, scanning the room once before leaving. The Senator followed behind you, though you wished she’d just go back to sleep so you could have a minute alone to process everything.

“You don’t like me much, do you?” She asked, sitting on the sofa opposite you.

“I don’t know you.” You answered as close to the truth as you could get because the truth was no, you didn’t like her all that much. How could you? You were more than aware it wasn’t her fault, she was beautiful, what had Anakin called her, an angel?

He was right about that and you hated it. 

“And yet you look at me like I’m your enemy.” She told you and you couldn’t help but frown as you looked away from her. “Does this have something to do with Ani?”

Ani, you hated the way the word fell from her lips like it was familiar. 

“No, Senator. Like I said I don’t have a problem with you, I don’t know you. You really should go back to sleep.” You told her, still not able to bring yourself to look at her, knowing if you did you would only be able to compare yourself to her, to wonder what she had that you didn’t.

Why was she good enough for Anakin and you weren’t? You who had spent years at his side, years giving him all your love, giving him your heart.

“I can hardly sleep after another attempt on my life.” She told you lightly and you could feel her gaze on you. All you wanted to do was leave, to make her look away, to scream and cry and curse the world but you couldn’t do any of that right now. “Besides, I'd much rather talk to you, to find out why you don’t like me.”

You took a deep breath, forcing your emotions into the Force again but there were too many and they just kept building up and you knew eventually they’d explode from you. You needed to be alone desperately, all you wanted was to be alone.

“It is Anakin, isn’t it?” She pushed and if she kept prodding you knew she would be the one your emotions turned on. “Wait, do you like Anakin? I didn’t think the Jedi were-”

You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t listen to her piece the situation together, couldn’t listen as she laughed at how foolish someone like you was for falling for someone like Anakin when someone like her existed. 

You stood abruptly from your seat causing Padmé to say your name softly but you ignored her and strode from the room, ignoring as the Senator called after you. You knew Obi-Wan would scold you for this later, for leaving the Senator alone barely ten minutes after her assassination attempt. You knew if something happened to her you’d have more problems than a telling off from Obi-Wan but right now you didn’t care.

All you cared about was being as far away from her and from Anakin and from everybody as you could be. 

You eventually found an empty room not too many floors down from the Senator’s apartment. The view was beautiful but you hardly noticed it as you sat on the floor, the only light coming from the floor to ceiling windows. 

You let your eyes fall closed, let all your emotions come to the surface and let the tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. A few sobs may have escaped you but you didn’t hear them as you tried to push your feelings into the Force but you couldn’t, they were too strong and they seemed to cling to you, making you feel every bit of them.

You didn’t know how long passed until the door opened as somebody sat next to you. You knew it was Anakin, you knew what he felt like in the Force better than you knew yourself. The feeling in the pit of your stomach seemed at its heaviest, at its coldest and you really didn’t have a good feeling about this conversation.

You knew what was going to happen, knew it had to happen and yet you were completely unprepared. You had never had to be without Anakin, even in those few months you had grown apart you didn’t cut yourself off from him completely but after this you didn’t know if you could look at him again without breaking down.

“You love her.” You said stoically when it became clear he wasn’t going to speak first.

“I don’t want to.” He told you, voice shaking as he spoke and you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left you.

“But you love her.” You said, voice breaking as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.

“I love you too.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to know that. 

“But you love her more, right? Otherwise I would have been enough for you. If you loved me as much as I love you then there wouldn’t be room for another in your heart.” You had yet to open your eyes, you didn’t think you could look at him, not with your emotions this close to the surface.

“I can’t help it, Y/N. If I could get rid of my feelings for her I would have done it years ago but I can’t. She’s always in my mind, sometimes she’s in my dreams and seeing her again brought those feelings forward again.” Anakin told you, sniffing as he fought back his own tears.

“I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you. I wish you cared enough about me to spare my feelings, to spare me the humiliation-” 

“I didn’t know I was going to meet her again! I thought I’d never see her again and I love you. I love you dearly, Y/N, don’t ever think I don’t.” Anakin exclaimed and you finally opened your eyes.

He was sat next to you, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at you with wide eyes but you shook your head.

“You don’t love me, Anakin.” You told him coldly, forcing your tears to stop if only for a few moments, “You don’t because I love you and I know that I would never do this to you. You were the only person I cared for this much, the only person I loved enough to break the Code for. I would have done anything for you, Anakin, anything. Now I feel as though I’m looking at a stranger.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t say that. I love you, all our years together-”

“We’re nothing more to you than a distraction from Padmé!” You exclaimed standing up and wiping your eyes angrily. 

“Don’t say that!” Anakin shot back, standing up as well.  “Don’t ever say that, don’t think it. My time with you was real, it was honest, every moment and every word of it. Don’t erase it now, Y/N.”

“Two years we have been together, loved each other for much longer. You were my best friend, Anakin.” You told him, your voice breaking as he stared at you with wide, pleading eyes. “You knew her for moments compared to us, met her when you were only a child and yet somehow she is more important to you than I could ever be.”

“Y/N,” He pleaded with you but no other words came out of his mouth.

“You broke my heart Anakin. I always knew you had the power to do it but, stars, I never thought you actually would.” You laughed, a sad sob of a laugh. “I really hope she was worth it Anakin, I hope she makes you so happy.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t do this.” Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he pleaded with you but you shook your head.

“I’m not the one doing this, Anakin. You’re the one who let me fall in love with you whilst your heart belonged to another. This is all on you. You are the reason I have lost not only the love of my life but my best friend too.” You told him, your voice breaking again as you fought tears back.

“I’m sorry.” He told you, his voice barely above a whisper and you shook your head, turning to leave the room, sparing him one last glance. 

“I really hope she’s worth it.” You told him, a smile, shaky and filled with sadness and bitterness and anger spreading across your face as Anakin’s eyes fell closed and you left the room, leaving behind the man you loved with a broken heart and tears falling from your eyes.

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Tell Me Later

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Angstember Prompt -  “I'm so sorry.”

When the war started you thought you had prepared for the worst, you worked tirelessly with your parents to ensure your planet was as protected as it could be. You made sure your people would have food supplies in case anything happened with the trade system, made sure you were well armed in case of an attack.

You thought you had prepared for the worst. So when you received the announcement that your parents ship had been blown up and there were no survivors, you didn’t know how to react. 

There was no time to grieve. In the space of a day you had gone from working behind the scenes to ensure your planet's safety to taking your family’s seat in the Senate, a position you had never wanted and taking up the position as ruler of your planet. 

You had been raised with the intention to take the seat, it had always been expected of you but you never wanted it. The responsibility alone was too much for you to shoulder, on top of that the sleazy politicians only got sleazier since the war started. You had no interest in stooping to their level, of promising one thing only to stab people in the back to help themselves, you had no interest in turning your back on your people to play the political field. 

The days after your parents’ death were a blur, you barely remembered anything from that time. You’d spent most of it trying to keep yourself composed in public before breaking down in private when the weight of things got too much. 

You don’t think you would have made it through the first day alone without Anakin. 

You and Anakin had been friends for years. Back when the Jedi were only Peacekeepers rather than Generals of the war, Anakin and his Master had been assigned to your planet to aid in discussions between your parents and the Senators of a neighbouring planet. 

You had been excited to see real life Jedi, the stories of them had been told for years all throughout the galaxy and you were always excited to learn what you could about them. 

Anakin and you had only been young back then, both easily bored at the discussion between the two planets. Your mother had noticed quickly and during one of the breaks had dismissed you, suggesting to Obi-Wan that Anakin accompany you. Obi-Wan had smiled warmly at your mother before sending Anakin and you off. 

You had been slightly nervous to be around the boy alone that first time, he was a Jedi and you had about a million questions on the tip of your tongue with no courage to ask any. Anakin could sense your nerves and excitement and grinned over at you. 

That grin seemed to be all it took to break the unease you felt and you found yourself grinning back at him. The two of you went to your chambers and Anakin was more than happy to answer all the questions you could think to ask. 

Negotiations and talks lasted longer than anyone had originally thought but neither you nor Anakin complained, not when it meant you got months to get to know each other. 

The two months passed by faster than either of you would have liked. You had spent that time showing Anakin around your planet, royal guards following the pair of you as you roamed around despite the fact Anakin was a Jedi. More often than not the two of you escaped the guards, laughing whilst you did, before taking each other’s hand to explore some more. 

It was the freest Anakin had felt in his life. He had thought leaving Tatooine would allow him more freedom but he quickly realised the Jedi had their own sets of rules and restrictions. Being here with you, away from his duties, was amazing, he hated that they had to leave your home world. 

It wasn’t too long before you were seeing each other again though. Two years passed, years in which you thought about Anakin more than you’d admit to anybody. This time the Jedi Padawan and Master had been sent to your planet after the second assassination attempt on your family, the first being on your mother and the second being on you. 

It was wonderful to see Anakin again and Anakin clearly felt the same way as he rushed over to you, a bright smile on his face as he greeted you. The smile dimmed slightly as he asked you if you were okay, his hand coming up to rest on your arm. Your smile widened at the touch though, only yesterday you had been terrified after barely escaping the assassins but now you weren’t scared at all. 

How could you be when Anakin was here?

It was easy to forget about the attempt on your life with Anakin back with you, instead of spending your time worrying over it you focused on the Padawan, catching up with each other and everything you had missed in those two years apart. 

This visit was much longer. Four months later and the people responsible for the attempts on the lives of you and your mother hadn’t been caught and the Jedi hadn’t stopped them from trying again. First it was your father on his way back from a meeting, then your mother again when she visited the hospital and its sick patients and then you.

Anakin had been furious when you stumbled back to the palace, gown ripped and covered in mud. It was rare for the two of you not to be at each other’s side but that morning Anakin and Obi-Wan had been called to meet with the Jedi Council via holocomm and you had only ventured into the palace gardens. 

Anakin didn’t ever leave your side after that and you never complained. You were glad to have him back and were more than content to stay by his side. The palace was big enough to pass the time but it got boring quickly, you and Anakin were both used to sneaking out and going to private spots the two of you had found far away from anybody else but Anakin refused to take the risk, refused to bend the rules when it came to your safety.

It was boring, even if you did love the company. Anakin sat on the floor, legs crossed and eyes closed as he completed his morning hour long meditation session that Obi-Wan enforced despite Anakin’s complaining. You, much like Anakin, couldn’t see the appeal of meditation but always joined him, laying back on the floor, your head resting close to his knee as you waited for him to finish.

Halfway through you sat up, noticing the way his eyebrow raised slightly but he kept his eyes shut. You saw his lightsaber laying next to him and couldn’t help but reach out. Over the years, over the months you’d known Anakin and Obi-Wan, you had never become less intrigued with the Jedi, still questioned Anakin daily on things you wondered about and Anakin was always happy to answer you, though on many occasions he seemed to fabricate his own stories but you were never less than happy to listen to them with a smile and laughter.

You held the hilt of the lightsaber in your hand, running your fingers along the length of it and twirling it around in your hands, missing Anakin’s soft smile as he opened his eyes, never having been meditating anyway. 

“Would you like to try it?” Anakin asked, causing you to look up at him with knitted eyebrows.

“What?” You asked back, causing his smile to widen into a grin as he stood up, holding a hand out for you to take. 

You took the hand and let him pull you up, following him with your eyes as he walked around you, his arms wrapping around yours as he took your empty hand and wrapped it around the lightsaber. 

“Here, hold it like this.” He told you and you followed the instruction, desperately trying to ignore the way his hands felt over yours. “Good, now you want to move it like this.” He said, voice quiet against your ear and you forced yourself not to shiver.

Anakin guided your hands, weaving patterns through the air before he stepped back and beamed over at you, watching as you returned the gesture even as you looked a little flustered. Anakin didn’t think much of it, not when his own heart was racing so quickly and he drew his mental shields even higher to stop any emotions seeping through his bond with Obi-Wan.

“Now press this button and do it again.” Anakin told you, taking another step back as you ignited the lightsaber, holding it out in front of you like it was going to hurt you. 

Anakin couldn’t help but chuckle and moved around to your side again.

“Relax,” He murmured, the way he spoke caused you to do the complete opposite and you cursed yourself, having no idea why you were suddenly acting like this. You had just about forced your body to relax when Anakin wrapped his hand around you again. “Just like before, it won’t hurt you.”

Despite the mess of emotions inside you that you couldn’t figure out, trying to push them far away until you were in bed and could work through them, you had to admit it was exciting wielding a lightsaber. 

Eventually Anakin pulled away again and watched as you moved as he instructed, a feeling in his chest, soft and light and singing with happiness. He knew he liked you, though the Code forbade it, he knew his heart belonged to you. He was determined to keep you safe, to keep you happy and watching you dance around with his lightsaber, a laugh falling from your lips he knew he was right.

His heart truly belonged to you.

The Jedi stayed two more months, two months filled with Anakin teaching you how to use his lightsaber. Months filled with the two of you alternating between trying to figure out your feelings and pushing them deep down in an attempt to ignore them. Months spent constantly at each other's side and growing closer as the days passed.

Eventually though they were forced to leave after having completed their job and you hadn’t thought you would ever be upset at having the people attempting to kill your family captured but here you were, pouting as Anakin’s ship took him far away from you, not knowing when you’d see him again.

Anakin insisted on being the one to go to your planet, pleaded with Obi-Wan, snapped at Master Windu before arguing to the Council that he and Obi-Wan had been to your planet on two separate occasions, spending months at a time with you, arguing that you had just lost your family and they would be familiar, that you wouldn’t have to be on edge around them.

Obi-Wan watched his former Padawan make solid and convincing arguments and yet he saw through each one of them. He had been there, he had seen the two of you together and he knew Anakin hadn’t managed to push you from his mind since the last time you had met. He saw the worry in Anakin’s eyes, felt the panic and fear for you through their bond though Anakin desperately tried to shield those feelings. 

Eventually the Council agreed and Anakin practically dragged Obi-Wan from the room, only pausing as they saw Ahsoka waiting outside for them. He expected Anakin to fill his Padawan in but instead he carried on down the hallway, gesturing for her to follow them with a nod of his head. Ahsoka shot Obi-Wan a confused, questioning look but he just shook his head and let Anakin lead their way to the hangar bay.

“Is the General alright, Sir?” Rex asked him quietly as the ship was loaded. Anakin had long since grown restless, pacing the length of the room as he waited until they could leave.

Every minute he spent here was a minute you spent alone, alone and unprotected. If anything happened to you Anakin would never forgive himself.

“The Princess is a dear friend of his.” Obi-Wan said softly, his eyes following Anakin, his distress could be felt clearly through the Force. 

His eyes moved around the room until they landed on Ahsoka, the young Padawan clearly feeling her Master’s emotions as she stared at him, wide eyed and concerned, never having seen Anakin in such a state.

Thankfully it wasn’t much longer before they were leaving Coruscant, not that it improved Anakin’s mood much but he had finally stopped pacing and sat heavily across from Obi-Wan. 

“Calm yourself, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmured softly, not surprised when Anakin’s head shot up to glare at him. “She’ll be fine.”

“You can’t know that Master!” He snapped, fists clenched in his lap, “You don’t know that.”

Over the years Obi-Wan had bore witness to many of Anakin’s emotional outbursts, times when he was too wound up to use the techniques he had taught him and calm himself enough to handle a situation rationally. Yet in all that time he had never seen Anakin quite like this. 

Anakin no longer had a grip on his mental shields and Obi-Wan could feel the worry and fear for you more strongly than he had back in the hangar bay. Every second that passed Anakin’s fear only grew. There were no coherent thoughts, only a mess of what if’s and what could be’s if they didn’t get to you in time.

Obi-Wan had no idea how to handle the situation, he was completely at a loss and cursed himself for not having a conversation with Anakin years ago about you and attachments and his commitment to the Code.

Apparently it was too late for that now. 

Now all he could do was try and make Anakin focus on the mission rather than on his overwhelming worry.

“We need a plan, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said, his tone firm and Anakin only continued to glare at him. “If you want to protect your Princess then you have to focus. So far we know that an attack on Astal hasn’t been ordered but with the death of the King and Queen we don’t know what the Separatist plan is.”

“We have to get her out of there.” Anakin said, the glare finally wiped from his face as he sat straighter in his seat. “They’ll come for her. Her parents swore themselves and their people to the Republic. They’ll try and turn her to their side but she’ll never join so the only option for them is to kill her and take the planet by force. I won’t let that happen, Obi-Wan.” There was so much conviction in Anakin’s tone that Obi-Wan truly believed him, he believed Anakin would take on the entire Separatist army alone should they dare come for you.

“We both know she won’t leave.” Obi-Wan said, he might not have spent as much time with you as Anakin had but he knew you well enough to know your strength and determination, you wouldn’t leave your people. Anakin knew it as well judging by the way he huffed and sank into his seat.

“I wish she would.” Anakin muttered to himself but he knew you’d never do it, if he even dared suggest it to you he knew you’d scoff and brush past him, not even entertaining the idea. “How long until we arrive?” 

“We’re minutes away, General.” Cody told them as he entered the room and everyone got to work so that by the time they landed, weapons were quickly taken from the ship as everyone prepared for what was to come.

Anakin paid no mind to the Clones working around him, instead he practically ran off the ship, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka close behind. You were already waiting for them and Anakin made his way over to you straight away, not hesitating to pull you into his arms. He felt you tense against him before melting into his chest a second later, your whole body shaking as your hands came up to grip his robes.

Anakin held you tightly, one arm wrapped around you, the other tangled in your hair as he held you to his chest, your head tucked under his chin and the two of you stood there, ignoring your surroundings as you cried.

You didn’t know how long passed, it felt like hours when really it was only a few minutes but eventually you pulled away. Not going too far but far enough so you could look up at him, his face soft as he smiled sadly down at you, bringing the hand in your hair to wipe your tears.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, watching as you took a shaky breath and nodded whilst trying to compose yourself before you forced a smile onto your face.

“Thank you for coming.” You whispered back, voice breaking as you tried to hold back tears, something that was made impossibly harder by Anakin guiding your head to his lips, pressing them gently against your forehead.

“Of course,” He murmured against your head, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

The two of you finally pulled away and you turned to Obi-Wan, smiling shakily over at him.

“It’s nice to see you again, Milady, I only wish it was under better circumstances. I truly am sorry for your loss, your parents were wonderful people.” Obi-Wan told you softly and you had to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan and thank you for coming. There’s nobody I trust more with my people’s safety.” You told him and Obi-Wan smiled sadly at you. “They’re going to attack, aren’t they?”

“So far we haven’t received word from our inside man about their next plans but we can only assume targeting Astal is their next goal.” Anakin told you quietly and you nodded, taking another shaky breath.

“Obi-Wan, you know your way around the palace,” You said and Obi-Wan nodded, “I’ll leave you to prepare with your men. I have to deal with the Senate.” 

You gave them a final forced smile before turning away. You hadn’t gotten far before you heard footsteps behind you and you smiled to yourself as you slowed your steps, allowing Anakin to walk alongside you.

“I wish we would stop meeting because your life is in danger.” Anakin told you and you couldn’t stop the small, watery laugh that escaped you causing Anakin to smile. “Really, if you wanted to see me so badly you could have commed me.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Anakin.” You told him softly and Anakin reached over and entwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

Despite everything you still couldn’t help but focus on the feeling, glad to know that the feeling of sparks and electricity were still there despite how much time had passed since your last meeting. Anakin truly was what you needed right now, suddenly thrust into power with everybody looking towards you, it was overwhelmingly frightening, you hadn’t had a second to mourn and yet you felt like you could breathe easier since Anakin arrived.

“I’d have come even if the Council forbid it.” He told you honestly and you felt that old familiar rush of warmth run through you, wishing more than ever things were different.

Two days passed, days were Anakin and you fell back into an easy old routine, spending the days at each other's side. Anakin found himself in your chambers at nights, you couldn’t sleep, not with the constant nightmares and Anakin was more than happy to stay awake with you. 

Sometimes you had too much pent up nervous energy and during those time Anakin unholstered his lightsaber and pushed it into your hands, telling you to show him what you remembered. Your form was still pretty good considering how long it had been but Anakin didn’t miss the opportunity to step behind you, his arms wrapping your body against his and you weren’t stopping him. You had missed his touch every day.

Other times the two of you sat on the sofa, Anakin’s arm around you as you cried into his chest, no words were exchanged during those times. There was nothing to be said to make things better, all Anakin could do was hold you close and let you know you weren’t alone.

It was on the third day of Anakin, Obi-Wan and the Clones being there that the Separatist arrived with no warning but thankfully you were prepared. The Clones moved easily into position and Anakin and you walked to meet Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

“Stay in the palace.” Anakin told you, hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eyes, seeing that spark of determination in them.

“They killed my parents, I’m ending this.” You told him, stubborn as always.

“I know they did,” He sighed, moving one of his hands to cup your cheek as he rested his forehead against yours. “But I need to be able to concentrate out there and I can’t do that, not knowing you're there and I can’t protect you.”

“Anakin,” You protested but he interrupted you.

“Please baby,” He whispered, the words desperate as he pleaded with you, he knew he had to stop the Separatists before they could get to you, he couldn’t focus if he had to constantly keep one eye on you.

“Ok.” You said softly, heat rising to your cheeks at the name but you didn’t address it, instead you agreed with him and moved to pull back only for Anakin to pull you back to him.

“If anything happens-” He started but you shook your head, covering the hand cupping your cheek with your own.

“Don’t,” You told him, locking eyes with him, “Don’t, you’re going to be fine, I’m going to be fine.”

“Y/N, you have to know, I have to tell you-”

“Tell me later, yeah? Come find me as soon as you’re done, ok? Tell me then.” You said, turning your face so you could press a kiss to his palm and it was then Obi-Wan finally cleared his throat, he had given you as much time as he could but they really needed to go.

You watched from inside the palace walls as droids filled the city as they attempted to make their way up towards the palace. From this high up you could see bodies of people, see the Clones laying motionless. Your heart ached, you wanted it to be over but not at the cost of joining the Separatists, you would never turn your back on what your parents had fought for.

You might not have wanted this job but it was yours and there was nothing you could do to change that and you would not turn your back on them.

As you watched the fight from the safety of the palace you heard a noise from out in the corridor, a loud bang that had you jumping as you whipped around. Even from here the sound of the droid army marching through the halls was loud. 

You took a deep breath and looked around the room, short of one blaster you didn’t have any weapons on you and had no idea where Anakin was. Looking around the room you cursed as the only exit was the one leading out to the army.

“Where are you Anakin?” You muttered to yourself, the sound of the army getting closer and before you knew it the door crashed open and a flood of droids entered the room. 

You took what little cover you could behind a pillar in the room, darting out and blasting as many of the droids as you could but there were too many, they swarmed the room until you were trapped. 

Then you heard the unmistakable sound of a lightsaber and breathed a sigh of relief. You peeked out from behind the pillar and saw Anakin in the doorway, unable to get to you even with the Force.

“Y/N!” He called and you locked eyes with him, watching in confusion as he threw his lightsaber in your direction, using the Force to make sure it got to you. “Remember what I taught you.” He shouted over the noise and even though you were absolutely terrified you didn’t hesitate to ignite the lightsaber and start dealing with the droids as Anakin used the Force.

“Ahsoka!” You heard him yell but you didn’t look over as she threw him one of her lightsabers' and the three of them got to work on the droids.

Eventually Anakin and you managed to make a path and the two of you stood back to back, lightsabers’ crashing into droids as more seemed to replace them.

“Are you regretting not letting me come with you right now?” You asked over your shoulder, a smile spreading across your face at the look he threw you before slicing through a droid.

“You wanna do this now?” He shot back and you laughed, twirling the lightsaber at a droid before it could shoot Anakin.

“I’m just saying-“ you started, laughing as Anakin cut you off. 

“Well can you just say later, I’d like to get out of this alive if that’s alright with you?” 

Even in the midst of the battle Obi-Wan couldn’t help but pause as he saw you wielding a lightsaber with more expertise than somebody who had never used one should have. 

Just what did you and Anakin get up to when you were alone? 

As the battle outside came to an end with the Clones and your army eventually beating the droid army, more of the Clones joined you in the palace and helped defeat the droids there. 

You were left panting for breath, sweat pooling on your forehead as you slumped against Anakin. Anakin didn’t hesitate to wrap you in his arms, his head falling against yours. Off to the side you could see Obi-Wan clap Ahsoka on the shoulder, murmuring something to her and handing her off to one of the clones whose armour was decorated in blue, one of Anakin’s men your mind supplied distantly. 

“You could pass for a real Jedi.” Anakin laughed softly into your hair causing you to chuckle and shift so you could look up at him, his hand coming up to cup your cheek again.

“What can I say, you’re a good teacher.” You whispered to him, a smirk spreading across your face as he flushed red so prettily.

Before Anakin had the chance to respond a Clone came up and apologised for the interruption but told you that the Chancellor and members of the Senate were waiting for you in the comms room whereas the Jedi were expected to contact the Council.

With a sigh you stepped out of Anakin’s hold but he didn’t let you go far as he caught you hand in his as the two of you walked the length of the room to where the two other Jedi waited. Anakin gave your hand a squeeze before letting go.

“Are you alright, Your Highness?” Obi-Wan asked you and you smiled over at him with a nod. 

“Yes, Master Kenobi, I’m alright. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and my people.” You told him and he smiled back at you, bowing his head slightly.

“It has been my honour.” He told you warmly before shooting Anakin a look and Anakin smiled sheepishly. “Now if you’ll excuse us we must talk with the Council, we should be back shortly.”

“Of course, please take your time. It seems I’ve been summoned before the Senate.” You said with a roll of your eyes causing the Jedi to laugh.

“Oh Snips,” Anakin said suddenly, pulling the lightsaber from where he had rested against his hip. “Thanks for that.” He said handing the lightsaber out to her and once she took it off him you held his out to him with a grin, missing the looks from Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. 

The two of you smiled at each other for a moment longer before you were called by one of the palace staff and you bid the Jedi goodbye before heading to the comms room.

“You taught her to use your lightsaber?” Obi-Wan asked once you were out of sight, turning to Anakin with an incredulous look and Anakin winced slightly. 

“She was curious! You know I can’t say no to her Obi-Wan. Besides, it came in handy, did it not?” Anakin grinned, smiling wider as Obi-Wan shot him an unimpressed look and the three Jedi made their way to one of the empty rooms, ready to fill the Council in on the events.

It felt like hours before the Chancellor finally dismissed you, asking far too many questions than what seemed necessary, a look in his eyes that left you feeling uneasy and all you wanted to do was put these last few days behind you. Not that the coming ones would be much easier but one could hope.

You made your way through the palace, thankfully most of it remained untouched as the droids seemed to know where to go to find you. You had no idea where Anakin was or if he had even finished briefing the Council so you let your feet carry you aimlessly through the halls before wandering out into the palace gardens, a smile making its way onto your face as you saw Anakin sat on one of the benches, already turning as he felt you through the Force.

“You did good today.” He told you, a tired smile pulling at his lips and you wrapped your arms around him, head against his chest, his heart beating strong and steady.

Anakin looked down at you in his arms and smiled wider, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you impossibly closer, content to just hold you, glad for the peace and to have a moment alone with you now the battle was won. 

Having you in his arms was everything he had dreamed about for years now, every night you seemed to visit him, soothing the nightmares, bringing joy to plain old dreams. There hadn’t been a day gone by where he hadn't thought of you, hadn’t longed for you. Over time he become familiar with living with such wanting, never quite growing used to it but learning to carry on with it in his head.

Now he held you close and he knew he wouldn’t be able to just up and leave again, going years without seeing you, without hearing from you. It would kill him, this he was sure about. 

Even after all this time his heart truly still belonged to you.

“Can I tell you now?” He whispered into your hair, feeling you smile into his chest before you pulled back far enough to look at him and nodded, Anakin’s hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I know the Jedi should not fall in love, I know that we should not form attachments but that first day I met you, you started carving out a place for yourself in my heart. We spent months together and then suddenly I had to leave and I was a mess for so long, I missed being by your side. Of course we were only young then so I didn’t realise just what you meant to me but then we came back and you still had this power over me and I realised what it was, I realised you owned my heart, I realised that I loved you, Y/N, I love you so much.”

It had been a long few days, you were running on little to no sleep, the adrenaline had given out at some point during your meeting with the Senate, they were all the excuses you came up with for the sudden stinging in your eyes but truthfully they were tears of relief. 

After everything that had happened it felt like the galaxy was offering you something good, extending the olive branch to get you to trust in it again. Your smile was confirmation enough that you were grabbing onto that branch and never letting go.

“I love you too, Anakin. I longed for the day you would return, though I wish the circumstances were better. I'm just glad you were here to help me carry the burden of these few days. For years I’ve missed you, wondered about you, dreamed of you. I hate that I realised I loved you too late, by the time I had sorted through my feelings you were already long gone back to Coruscant.” Anakin's thumb ran along your cheekbone before he moved it further down your face so he was cupping your jaw and slowly guided your lips close together, giving you a chance to pull away if you wanted to.

Like you could ever do such a thing. 

Instead of waiting for him to close the distance you did it yourself, leaning forward to meet his lips halfway and practically melting into it as he moved his lips against yours. It seemed like every cliché you’d ever read about was occurring, the world around you fading out into nothing, the sparks and fireworks, the butterflies in your stomach, all of it was real as Anakin held you gently in his hands and kissed you.

It was a soft kiss but it still conveyed so much, so much love, so much longing, so much joy and happiness and relief that this was finally happening. 

The two of you only pulled away from each other when the need for air became too much, Anakin resting his forehead against yours, his eyes were brighter than you had ever seen them, a beaming smile spreading across his face as he looked at you with so much love reflecting in your eyes.

Anakin was taken aback by how beautiful you looked, lips slightly swollen and curved into a smile, the love you felt reflected in your own eyes and he knew he could never leave you now. If he thought he was weak before he had been wrong, now that he had had one taste of you there was no way he could live without you.

It would be hard, neither of you were under any illusions that it wouldn’t be. There was still a war going on, one that would no doubt get worse as time passed, there was the matter of the Jedi Code forbidding Anakin from being involved with you at all, there was the matter of your new position as ruler of Astal. 

It would be hard work but both of you were prepared to go through the hard days so long as it meant you had each other. It didn’t matter that it would have to be a secret, it didn't matter that people would disapprove, the two of you were happy, the two of you were practically drowning in love and neither of you was prepared to give that up. 

____

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Ready to Run

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Angstember Prompt -  "I need you to run. Run away and never come back."

Notes - so ooc but I love vaderkin

There were plenty of moments over the last few years where you had figured you should stop searching, that whatever you thought you knew was wrong. You’d hit more dead ends than you could count, every time you came close to something it seemed to be snatched from you. It was always one disappointment after the other but despite everything you carried on.

Obi-Wan had told you what had happened on Mustafar all those years ago. He had told you that Anakin had died, that he had left him there to die but you didn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe it. Not when you still felt something through the Force, something dark and twisted and barely recognisable but no matter how far it strayed from the Light you would always recognise it.

Anakin wasn’t dead.

He couldn’t be.

You refused to believe he could be. For the first year, after Padmé’s funeral, after Obi-Wan had left with the child and the other had been given to Senator Organa, you did nothing. You sat and you mourned for your Master, for the man who had taken you on when you were only a child, barely coming up to his thigh as you accosted him in the training room and forced him to spar with you.

You still remembered those times, you had known Anakin before he was Knighted and yet you knew he was yours. You had never particularly gotten along with your crèche mates and always felt so left out, especially as more and more of them got picked by the older Jedi. You had all been left in the training room, plenty of other Jedi working on the forms but you were only focused on Anakin. 

Your eyes had found him easily in the room and you watched him in wonder as he trained with his Master, moving like he was completely at one with the Force. Of course you were distracted enough that your crèche mates noticed and laughed at you, even back then Anakin was well known throughout the Temple and one of the boys in your group had called you stupid and foolish for even daring to look at Anakin, laughing as he declared you unworthy of any Jedi’s time yet alone Anakin Skywalkers.

You weren’t one to back down though, to let the boy think he had won with his harsh words. Instead you squared your shoulders back and jutted your chin out before turning away from them and walking the length of the room, avoiding the other Jedi as you went, before you stopped in front of Anakin and Master Kenobi.

“Is everything alright, young one?” Master Kenobi asked softly, pausing as he spotted you first and Anakin turned around to face you a second later, raising an eyebrow down at you.

Now that you had actually made your way over here you felt a little nauseous and it felt like the air had been sucked from the room but when you glanced over your shoulder you saw your crèche mates staring at you wide eyed and the boys mouth hung open so you nodded to yourself before turning back to Anakin and Master Kenobi.

“I was wondering, if it’s not a bother,” You started, voice slightly shaky but you forced yourself to continue. “Might I spar with Padawan Skywalker please?” 

Anakin’s eyebrow seemed to raise even higher, surprised at your request as he turned to Obi-Wan who was doing a better job at hiding his own surprise but he could feel his curiosity through their bond. 

‘Well?’ Obi-Wan seemed to ask him wordlessly, cocking his head to the side and Anakin shrugged, sure it wouldn’t be a challenge but their time in the training room wasn’t meant to be, not today, they were only in here to burn off Anakin's excess energy. 

“Of course, young one, my old bones could use a rest anyway.” Master Kenobi told you, his tone light and joking and he smiled at the small giggle you let out.

“What’s your name?” Anakin asked you as he gestured for you to come closer, easily looking over you and seeing a group your age staring over in shocked amazement. 

“Y/N.” You told him softly and Anakin smiled as he crouched down to be at eye level with you, holding a hand out for you to shake, both Obi-Wan and Anakin noticing how you shook slightly as you took his hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Anakin.” He told you, still smiling as you, his smile widening as you finally returned the gesture. “Let’s see just what you’ve learnt then.”

From that day on you seemed to attach yourself to Anakin and at first he may have grumbled about it, rolling his eyes at Obi-Wan amused looks, but he had to admit it was nice. He knew the stories that went around about him, most of them were grossly over exaggerated but people believed what they wanted and it had left him isolated from many of his peers, though the fact he hadn’t grown up surrounded by the Jedi didn’t help.

It was nice having you around.

He already knew he was taking you as his Padawan, even when he was Obi-Wan’s Padawan, he trained you. The two of you met two or three nights a week in the training room and you showed Anakin what you had learnt that week and what you struggled with and Anakin was always quick to help and it wasn’t long before your instructors took note of your improvements.

When you weren’t in the training rooms you could be found in Anakin and Obi-Wan quarters, sitting at the table with Anakin by your side as he helped you through homework questions you struggled with. Some areas of learning were so dreadfully dull but Anakin was always able to brighten them up and you found yourself actually remembering his teachings. 

Once Anakin was Knighted he was surprised that it was Master Yoda of all people to be the one to suggest you as his new Padawan, not that Anakin was complaining of course. He immediately jumped at the chance, perhaps a bit too eagerly if the amusement coming from Obi-Wan told him anything.

Not much changed after that though. Anakin had already been planning on meeting you in the training rooms that evening but he cut your training short to lead you back to his chambers where the two of you celebrated and Anakin sat you down close to him as he went about braiding your Padawan braid. 

It wasn’t all that long into being his Padawan that the Clone Wars started and you, as Anakin’s Padawan, seemed to be thrust into the midst of it. Anakin always kept you close to him, warning you not to stray from his side unless it was life or death, always hating the war much more when you were in the danger zone. Sometimes you couldn’t be with him constantly on the battlefield and those times you were instructed to stay close to Rex or Obi-Wan, both of whom protected you as fiercely as Anakin did.

Your training grew every day, of course it had no choice but to when you were up against the droid army or, on several terrifying occasions, General Grievous himself. Some days when the war became too overwhelming your thoughts wandered back to when you had first met Anakin, when you had inserted yourself into his life. Even now as the war went on and Anakin became the poster boy, getting sent out on the most dangerous missions and bringing you along, you didn’t regret it, if you could do it all over again you would always choose Anakin. 

But times like this, times when you reached out into the Force, times when you woke up in pain, feeling too much anger and too much hatred flowing through your veins you couldn’t help but doubt that decision.

You shook your head, panting into wakefulness and began breathing through the anger you knew wasn’t yours. Somehow, even after whatever had happened to Anakin, the bond between you was still very much alive. In the first year it was quiet, leaving you alone in your head for the first time since Anakin had braided your hair gently but then whatever wall that had been built up seemed to fall down and you were overwhelmed with so many Dark feelings.

It took longer than it should to realise they weren’t yours, to realise that you hadn’t survived everything just to turn to the Dark Side now. 

Once you realised it was Anakin you had to brace yourself against the wall to keep yourself upright because Obi-Wan had told you Anakin was gone. Had he lied? Did he not know? You debated telling Obi-Wan, you were sure you could find a way to comm him or just go to Tatooine yourself but you decided against it.

Obi-Wan had been devastated by the loss of Anakin. It had truly taken a toll on him, a toll you hadn’t even seen during the war. You weren’t sure you wanted to tell Obi-Wan that you could still feel Anakin, not when it was so dark and twisted.

No, you had thought to yourself, better to wait until I find Anakin.

But you had been looking for years, years spent hiding your true nature, years spent desperately trying to follow the pull of the Force, begging it to lead you to Anakin and though it never had you didn’t give up hope even though some days you came close to it.

You would find Anakin Skywalker.

And then one day, completely by chance, you stumbled across a ship. It didn’t feel like Anakin but it did feel like the anger you felt deep in your veins, it felt like the bone deep pain that had tears filling your eyes and you wondering just how Anakin dealt with it. 

The door was closing and you had a split second to make a decision. With a little help from the Force you easily slipped in before the door slammed shut, trapping you on the ship. 

It wasn’t until you glanced around for a hiding spot that you paused.

Stormtroopers. This was the Empire.

Oh Anakin, you thought to yourself, feeling a wave of sadness run through you but it didn’t last long before it was replaced with…was that annoyance? Seconds later the bond seemed to fill with confusion and you struggled to figure out if it was yours or Anakin’s.

In the entire time you had felt Anakin you had never felt anything but anger, frustration, pain, loneliness...never anything else. Maybe he was on this ship, maybe they were keeping him prisoner and that’s why he was in so much pain all the time. The closeness had always allowed Anakin and you to share feelings through your bond much easier than when you were at a distance, it made sense that the bond still followed that rule no matter how corrupt one side of it was.

There was another part of your mind, one that you tried to cut off before it could whisper its thoughts into your head that told you another reason as to what Anakin could be doing on an Imperial ship. You couldn’t- you refused to believe it. Anakin wouldn’t do that, at least not the Anakin you had known but that was before he fell. 

Shut up, you whispered to yourself as you made your way further into the ship. Anakin’s confusion was growing stronger, as was his annoyance and you couldn’t help but grin. It was nice to feel something else through the bond, it made Anakin feel like Anakin again. You resisted the urge to send your own feelings flowing through the bond, not yet sure if he knew it was you he was feeling.

You were so focused on the bond that you only realised a second too late that a stormtrooper was rounding a corner, slamming straight into you and sending you falling to the floor. The trooper immediately raised his gun and called for backup and you were surrounded before your hand could touch your lightsaber.

Two of the stormtroopers forced you onto your feet and you struggled against them to no avail. 

“Take her to the cells, I’ll alert Lord Vader to the intruder.” One of the troopers said and the two holding you nodded and began to drag you along as fear filled you. 

You’d heard the stories and seen the aftermath of Vader’s work. It was terrible and cruel and always left you feeling cold whenever you ended up on a planet Vader had left in ruins. 

You had also heard of what he did to prisoners and desperately tried to break the troopers hold of you long enough for you to grab your lightsaber. There wouldn’t be much you could do if you did get free, by now the ship was already moving through hyperspace, but you could hide and take down as many stormtroopers as possible until the ship landed.

Unfortunately that plan would have to be scrapped as you were thrown into the small holding cell, the door slamming shut behind you and you cursed silently at your poor decision making. Now you were at Vader’s mercy and you weren’t holding out much hope of Vader coming to your aid.

You don’t know how long you sat there, crossed legged on the floor with your eyes closed as you focused on your bond with Anakin. From his side you could feel anger again but the annoyance was still there as was a small bit of curiosity that you really had to focus on to feel. 

You let the feel of Anakin wash over you even if he was darker than you remembered him being. Beneath the corruption and the tar like darkness that seemed to cling to him was Anakin Skywalker. It was faint but he was there and you knew you could help him, help him as he had helped you thousands of times over. You just had to get out of this kriffing cell to find him.

For the second time in as many minutes you were so focused on your bond with Anakin that you missed the movement in front of you. This time instead of a stormtrooper it was the door of your cell opening. It only took you a second longer to open your eyes, your mouth going dry as there before you stood Darth Vader.

He towered over you, even more so since you were sitting on the floor. The black cape hung around him and made him look more intimidating. Then there was the breathing filling the silence, the mechanical, steady breathing that sent a shiver down your spine.

He didn’t speak, not even when the door shut behind him. You wished you could see his expression, wished the helmet was gone so you had half a clue as to what to expect but instead you were left staring at the expressionless helmet, giving nothing away.

Even with your fear and anxiety you still felt Anakin through the bond, perhaps more strongly than you had ever before. There were a wide range of emotions running wild within him, all pushing their way through the bond and making you feel them. He was confused, he was hurting, he was worried, he was angry, he was sad, he was terrified.

You hadn’t felt Anakin be fearful since the bond opened itself up again and now that you had it sent a cold feeling to your stomach, gone was any concern for your current situation and in its place was worry for Anakin.

So much worry in fact that you had momentarily forgotten about Vader until he spoke, the single word causing you to jump.

“Y/N?” He asked, his voice completely devoid of emotion thanks to the modulator.

How in Sith’s hell did Vader know your name?

Then suddenly the wave of fear and terror rolling from Anakin’s side of the bond seemed to grow and you couldn’t decide what to focus on. Probably best to focus on Vader first, Anakin could wait a while longer.

“What are you doing here?” Vader hissed at you, or it was as well as somebody with a robotic modulator could hiss. His words had you staring up at him, fear slowly slipping away and replaced by confusion. “Answer me!”

Suddenly, almost as if somebody had flipped a switch, you put the pieces together. You almost slapped yourself for not figuring it out sooner but then again you didn’t want it to be true, you couldn’t believe it but the proof was here.

Anakin was here.

“Anakin?” You asked, voice barely a whisper, the sound seemingly pulled from your throat as your voice broke on the word.

“Do not call me that.” He said and a choked sob slipped out of you, tears filled your eyes as you pushed yourself onto your feet, all fear gone now as you took a step closer to him.

“Tell me it’s not true.” You whispered, hoping you’d open your eyes and it would just be another nightmare that plagued you. From Anakin’s side of the bond you felt sadness and let out another sob. “Kriff Anakin, I’ve been searching for you for years and all along you were…”

“You shouldn’t be here.” His voice seemed quieter, like behind the helmet he was talking softly and you wished more than anything that the helmet would go, you wanted to see him.

“I was looking for you.” You told him again, swallowing around the lump in your throat and Anakin lifted his hand. You should have been scared, how many times had he raised his hand to Force choke innocents? But you weren’t scared and you had no reason to be, not when he brought his hand to your cheek and brushed away a tear that fell from your eye.

“You shouldn’t have come.” He told you and you hated the robotic, emotionless tone of his voice, you wanted to hear Anakin, your Anakin. “I can’t risk him knowing you’re here, Y/N. What he does to Jedi- I won’t let that happen to you.”

“Anakin-” You began but he cut you off.

“I’m not Anakin, not anymore.” He said and you shook your head, lips twitching as Anakin’s thumb brushed your cheekbone. “The ship is ready to land, when I say run I need you to run. Run away and never come back, Y/N.”

“Anakin, I can’t leave you here.” You cried, bringing your hand to wrap around his gloved one but he shushed you before you could protest more.

“This is who I am now. You can’t save me this time, Y/N/N, but you can let me save you. Let me do one thing right.” He begged and you could feel his pain as strongly as your own.

“Anakin, please.” You whispered and Anakin brought his head down, the helmet gently knocking against your forehead and you let out another sob.

“I’ll always be with you, our connection is strong.” Anakin told you, his voice as soft as it could be through the modulator and you let out another sob before you forced yourself to take a deep breath and nodded against him.

Anakin held you against him for a few seconds longer before he pulled away and you felt the ship land. You had no idea where you were but you would do as Anakin instructed, one last moment with your Master, one last chance to follow his instructions before he disappeared from your life again.

“Ready to run?” He asked quietly, the door to your cell opened and he led you out, watching as you took another breath and nodded. “Good, don’t stop running. We're on Irilla, you shouldn’t have any trouble hiding.”  

“Thank you Anakin.” You whispered after you passed a group of stormtroopers.

Anakin didn’t say anything else, he couldn’t risk being overheard, not when any of his small indiscretions always seem to make their way up to Sidious. If Sidious knew about you, knew that you had the ability to bring the small bit of Light inside him forward, he knew Sidious would see to it that you were killed and that was the best outcome, Sidious wouldn’t be so quick about it.

Anakin knew he had no choice, he would gladly take on whatever punishment Sidious chose to inflict upon him for letting a Jedi go. Thankfully the stormtroopers didn’t know you to recognise just who you were to Anakin so Sidious would only believe it had been a random Jedi. 

He could work with that.

The ship doors opened and he led you off it, the planet was cold and dark but it was filled with seedy characters conducting even seedier business and Anakin knew you’d be able to hide amongst them for a few days before finding yourself a way off this planet. 

He ordered the troopers to start unloading the ship and discreetly gestured for you to follow him, dismissing the two troopers who tried to follow him. He led you into the forest, knowing there was a city not too far away, you would be safe there.

“You have to go now.” Anakin told you, knowing you could feel his pain through the bond as he watched your nose crinkle as you tried to push away tears.

“Come with me.” You pleaded and he smiled behind the helmet, wishing he could but he had made his decision. One day, maybe, he would come and find you if you kept the bond open. One day he would make his move against Sidious and be free of the man but for now he had a role to play and you couldn’t be anywhere near as he played it.

“We’ll see each other again, my dear Padawan.” He told you, bringing his hand to your cheek and resting his helmet against your forehead again. “One day this will all be over and we will find each other but you have to stay away for now, stay far away and stay safe.”

“I promise.” You whispered, forcing down a sob. “Stay safe, Anakin, may the Force be with you.” 

Anakin held you against him for a moment longer and you nodded at him before turning to run towards the city. Anakin felt cold but he also felt something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He felt hope.

“May the Force be with you, my Padawan.” He murmured to himself, knowing that he would see his plan to the end if only so he could find you again.

______

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Prompt -  “You came along and you changed everything.”

You weren’t like this. You weren’t the kind of person to be tongue tied around somebody, the type to become flustered and foolish around somebody. It wasn’t who you were, not when you had learnt so long ago the dangers of letting somebody in, of caring about somebody. You had to look out for yourself, even if it meant shutting yourself off from every possible connection out there.

You’d spent years running, sure the Empire had been defeated but there were still whispers of it throughout the galaxy and there was still a price on your head. You didn’t know just who was issuing bounties on any of the remaining Jedi but somebody was and you knew you could never stop running, could never stop long enough to fall in love.

So how you ended up in a small town way out in the middle of nowhere was beyond you. It had only been a pitstop, your ship had broken down not too far away and you cursed the sea of sand cutting you off from civilization, or whatever counted as civilization on Tatooine. 

You had walked for hours, the suns of Tatooine were especially unkind to you and by the time you stumbled across the small town you were exhausted and dehydrated but you pushed all of that down when a young kid with his hand on his holster stood before you. You barely suppressed the eye roll you felt, he was an easy target, you could have sent him to the floor without a second thought but before you could another man approached him, coming out from one of the buildings.

“Now that ain’t anyway to treat a lady,” The man said to the kid and you watched as his hand dropped from his hip as he turned to the man. “Run along now, I’ve got this.”

You watched as the kid nodded before he ran off to a group of people not too far down, leaving you alone with the man. The first thing you noticed about him, the thing that had your hands twitching down to your hidden lightsaber, was the Mandalorian armour he wore. Then the second thing you noticed was the red scarf around his neck, here you were struggling against the two suns beating down on you and this man had a scarf around him as though he might catch a chill.

“You look like you could use a drink, little miss.” He said and you raised an eyebrow at him but he just grinned at you and gestured you towards the saloon he had come from. 

Your steps were hesitant but the man was right, you did need a drink desperately and it wasn’t long before you were chugging something cold from a tall glass, the man refilling it two times more before you felt like you could talk without tasting sand.

“So what brings you to little old Mos Pelgo?” The man asked you and you let your hands settle around the freshly filled glass, running your fingers along the rim. 

Just because the town was well away from any other civilization, just because nobody had attacked you yet didn’t mean they wouldn’t. The man before you was wearing Mandalorian armour for Force sake, you knew the bounty hunters wouldn’t hesitate to take you in for enough credits, no matter what sort of life it condemned you to. 

And yet the man across from you was looking at you so warmly, his smile relaxed and friendly, his hands resting on the table where you could see them and far away from the gun strapped to his thigh. Years earlier you might have trusted him straight away, might have offered some information about your life to him, maybe see if the Mandalorian could offer you any help but it wasn’t years ago. It was years after, so many years since you had been that naive, trusting kid and instead you had lost everything.

No matter how kind he seemed you couldn’t trust him, you would find what you needed to fix your ship and leave and never think of this place again.

That was the way of your life after all.

“Just passing through.” You told him shortly and he raised an eyebrow at you, seemingly amused at how standoffish you were, leaning further back into his seat.

“Not many people just pass through this part of Tatooine.” He said and you could hear the amusement in his tone.

“My ship broke down, I’m just looking for parts.” You said and he nodded, sitting up and leaning forward.

“Not sure how much good Mos Pelgo will do you in way of parts but I’m sure we can manage something for a pretty thing like yourself.” He said charmingly, winking at you and you just about managed to suppress both the eye roll and the smile that threatened to pull at your lips, settling on an unimpressed look that had him grinning at you. 

“I’ll be on my way soon enough.” You promised him and at that moment you had truly planned on making good on that promise, especially when the man’s smile turned soft and he assured you there was no rush, so long as you were good to his people you were welcome to stay as long as you wanted. 

That night, after the man introduced himself as Cobb Vanth, he had offered you his sofa as a place of rest, telling you most folk already had places set up in Mos Pelgo and they didn’t get visitors often enough to set a place up. You had wearily accepted the offer, fully prepared to defend yourself should the marshal try anything. 

He hadn’t though, other than being overly charming and flirtatious Cobb had been nothing but good to you. At his home he offered you some food and showed you where the fresher was. Once you had finished up he leant you a shirt that hung around your thighs and had set up the sofa for you, pillows and soft blankets ready for you. 

You had truly only meant to spend a night or two, only staying long enough to get parts for your ship. Yet somehow before you knew it four months had passed and you were still in that same small town, still sleeping on Cobb’s, surprisingly comfortable, sofa. 

You knew attachments were wrong and not in the way the Jedi had once believed, no they were wrong because they never lead to anything good. They always ended badly, ended with you alone and yet for some reason you couldn’t leave Mos Pelgo, you settled down and made friends, you helped around the town, Cobb had been impressed with your skills with a blaster and offered you a place at his side, not that much trouble occurred in Mos Pelgo. 

Staying went against everything you believed and then one day it suddenly became clear why you stayed. It was an unassuming, uneventful day and the suns of Tatooine were harsh. Even after all your months on the planet you had never quite gotten used to those suns and took refuge in Cobb’s house.

That was until your comm went off and Cobb sent a message about a potential problem. You grabbed your blaster before pausing and sparing a look at your bag that sat in the corner of the room, hidden inside it was your lightsaber and you debated whether to take it. It had stayed forgotten in your bag since the day you arrived in Mos Pelgo, though you trusted Cobb, even more so when he told you he wasn’t a real Mandalorian but just a man with the amour who wanted to protect his people, you didn’t share who you truly were.

Nobody could know.

With a sigh you left your lightsaber, you were skilled with a blaster but you would trade it for your lightsaber any day. Blasters were tasteless and using the lightsaber, being at one with the Force was a feeling you missed dearly but it was safer this way. You weren’t just putting yourself in danger anymore but anyone who knew would surely become a victim in an effort to get to you should the wrong person find out.

It was barely a minute's walk from Cobb’s place to the saloon, in a town this small everything was within walking distance of each other. You stayed by the door for a moment, Taanti glanced over at you and gave you a look of confusion that had you frowning before he gestured over to the table and as you took a step inside you frowned when you saw Cobb sat at a table and a Mandalorian stood opposite him.

Your first thought was to turn and run, to get as far from Mos Pelgo as you could but you couldn’t leave Cobb to deal with your mess. No, if the bounty hunter wanted to take you, you would give him a fight.

“I figure only one of us is walking out of here.” Cobb said and you frowned, feeling like you’d missed an important piece in the conversation and stepped into the room, Cobb smiling over at you as you stood at his side, hand ready on your blaster.

Cobb didn’t look spooked by the Mandalorian but then again you had never seen him worried about much, he did a good enough job at hiding his feelings but you knew better. He projected his thoughts loudly and you heard everything he hid.

“But then I see the little guy,” Cobb said and you frowned before you followed to where he was pointing. “And I think, maybe I pegged you wrong.”

Whatever else was spoken between the Mandalorian and Cobb was blocked out, completely silenced as you stared at the little green child who stared back at you. He was strong in the Force, strong enough for you to be taken aback, you hadn’t felt anyone that strong for a long time.

It had been so long since you had met another of your kind, well maybe not exactly my kind but the kids a Jedi. Maybe this Mandalorian wasn’t here for you then, maybe as far as he was concerned you were just a regular old human. He hadn’t spared you so much as a glance since you’d entered the saloon, though it was tricky to tell with that helmet.

You had heard thoughts through the Force before but somehow it still startled you as the kids’ murmurs translated into real words in your head and you couldn’t stop the huff of disbelief that left you, taking an unconscious step towards the kid.

“Y/N, you good, sweetheart?” Cobb asked but the words barely registered as you took another step towards the kid, his words, choppy as they were, speaking of the Mandalorian and how they were good, asking if you were the same, all filtering into your head.

The kid took steps towards you and when you met halfway you fell to your knees, the kid immediately climbing into your lap, speaking about how the Mandalorian was good again. You could only stare at him before the Mandalorian himself spoke up.

“What are you doing?” He asked, closer to you than he had been before and you finally snapped back to reality, jumping at his voice before turning to look at him.

Cobb stood behind him, any tension between them seemingly vanished as you sat with the kid. The kid spoke into your head again, his soft noises turning to words, telling you to tell the Mandalorian you were good.

“How did you find him?” You asked instead, looking into the helmet.

“You know his kind?” The Mandalorian shot back instead of answering, crouching down in front of the two of you. 

“Yes.” Was all you said, already knowing you had given too much away by approaching the kid. From behind the Mandalorian you saw Cobb looking down at you with a frown, his confusion strong in the Force.

“Can you help him? I wanted to find another Mandalorian to help me discover what he is, to help me return him to his people.” The Mandalorian told you and you frowned. 

There weren’t many Jedi left in the galaxy, not after Vader’s reign. There were plenty of Force sensitive individuals but not actual trained Jedi, not enough of you left for the child to be returned too.

“Who are you supposed to return him to?” You asked quietly, frowning as you looked down at the kid in your lap who was still murmuring away, seemingly happy to have somebody who understood him.

You let him ramble away in your hand as you turned back to the Mandalorian. 

“I don’t know. I only know that he is to be reunited with his kind, except I don’t know who that is. Can you help?” The man pleaded with you and you didn’t need him to remove his helmet to be able to see his expression clear as day, you could feel his desperation through the Force, truly having the child’s best interest in his heart. “I will be forever in your debt.”

The silence stretched for a long moment, at least out loud it did, in your head the kid was still rambling away, telling you about his adventures with the Mandalorian and it was clear the kid trusted him, loved him dearly. 

You had a choice right now. There weren’t many Jedi left in the galaxy, none that you knew of yourself, the man who had trained you years ago, no matter how grumpy he had been about it, had died during the war with the Empire. You knew there were more but you didn’t know how to make contact. 

You were a skilled Jedi, trained by a man who seemed to be the Force himself some days. He had taught you as much as he could in the short amount of time you had with him, leaving you with enough resources to continue your learning without him. You knew you could train the child but it would mean going against everything you had lived by for years.

It would mean finally admitting you were a Jedi, risking your life and those you cared for. If somebody were to find out you knew it would mean going back to your life on the run. Loath as you were to admit it you had grown used to your life here in Mos Pelgo, you weren’t running, you had a place to return to each night and you were happy.

And yet something about the kid was calling out for you, though the Mandalorian was good to him he needed something more, he needed one of his own to help guide him. You didn’t know if it should be you but there weren’t exactly any other Jedi jumping to help. 

There was also something about the Mandalorian himself, something about the way he felt in the Force, the hope he was desperately trying to pull down so he wasn’t too disappointed, the sadness he felt at potentially losing the kid but wanting to do what was right for him anyway, the love and pride coming from him. Everything about him made you want to say yes if only so you could keep feeling good things coming from him.

Though you stayed silent for a few minutes you knew you had already made your decision, it had been made for you the second the kid climbed into your lap.

“I can help him.” You said, eyes closed and voice barely a whisper as you tilted your head down. 

Through the Force you could feel the Mandalorian’s happiness and relief, the feeling bringing your anxiety filled mind a sense of calm. Cobb was radiating pure confusion and you felt terrible for never having told him your secret, he had given you so much, shared so much with you and you kept things from him. 

You hoped he would understand.

“You can?” The Mandalorian asked and even with the modulator you could hear the grin on his face. 

The kid reacted to his happiness both in his voice and through the Force, babbling away much faster now, so quickly you struggled to keep up with the words. 

“He is strong but he needs to be trained. It will be a long process, training is not something to be rushed. If you wish to leave him you are free to do so but if you stay you must understand the training he is to undertake is something that will take years.” You told the Mandalorian, slipping into the tone your Master had used with you when he had explained the training to you. 

“I wish to stay with the child.” The Mandalorian confessed softly, through the Force you could feel his overwhelming relief and disbelief at the fact that he wasn’t being separated from the child, that he could stay by his side.

“As you wish, Mandalorian.” You said, finally opening your eyes and looking over at him. He had sat back on his heels now, looking absolutely relaxed. Over his shoulder Cobb looked down at you with a frown and you could only look up at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

“You’re one of his kind then? What are your people?” The Mandalorian asked and you returned your gaze to him, biting your lip before taking a breath.

“We’re Jedi, once our kind brought and maintained peace in the galaxy. Now there aren’t many left, the ones who trained to be Jedi are few and far across the galaxy.” You told him, a wave of familiar sadness ran through you as it always did when you thought of your people’s history and how different things could have been for you had they not fallen.

Now you only had the stories shared to you by an old man who felt bone deep sadness and grief as he told you of his time as a Jedi.

“The Jedi and the Mandalorian used to be great enemies.” The Mandalorian murmured softly, more to himself than to you but you still sat straighter and glared at him, the child pausing in his ramblings as he glanced between the two of you.

“Is that going to be a problem?” You said in a cold tone and the Mandalorian immediately sat straighter too, shaking his head and holding his hands up.

“No problem, the child is not my enemy, I…I care for him a great deal. You are not my enemy either and I will forever be in your debt. Thank you for helping the kid.” He told you earnestly. 

‘Grogu!’ 

The words caused you to frown as you looked away from the Mandalorian and down at the kid again, tilting your head for a second until it clicked what the word meant and you smiled down at him.

“Grogu,” You said softly, turning back to the Mandalorian, “His name is Grogu.”

Months passed in Mos Pelgo and though you had struggled with teaching Grogu to use the Force to begin with you had finally found your footing and actually enjoyed training the kid. Cobb had been shocked and a little bit hurt that you had kept it from him but a few tricks with the Force had him over it pretty quickly as he grinned at you, urging you to show him what else you could do.

Cobb had a place set up for you and the Mandalorian, it was easier to help the kid when you had your own place though you missed sharing living quarters with Cobb. The Mandalorian was more than happy to share a house with you, though he never admitted it out loud you could feel it through the Force.

You could feel a lot of things through the Force when it came to the Mandalorian. You could feel his happiness when he walked out the backdoor to see you and Grogu sat at the back of the house, the suns beaming down at you as you sat with your eyes closed and a collection of pebbles floating between the two of you. You could feel the relief he sometimes still felt when he held the kid, glad to still be at his side. 

You could also feel the way he got nervous around you, if you hadn’t had the Force on your side you would never have known it, not with the helmet hiding the Mandalorian’s expression from you. You had wondered many times what he looked like under it but after he had told you why he didn’t remove it you had never pushed it. Sometimes he felt so much happiness when he was around you, happiness you couldn’t blame on the kid because Grogu was long tucked up in his floating crib and fast asleep leaving you and the Mandalorian alone together, sometimes sat on the sofa with a cup of something warm, sometimes sat out on the porch under the stars. 

You had never let on to the Mandalorian that you could feel his feelings strongly through the Force. You felt the same for him though it took longer for you to admit it to yourself, you had become so used to your life of shutting people out, of blocking every possible person from your life that feeling this happy and giddy around the Mandalorian felt scary. Sometimes you found yourself struggling to speak around him, stumbling over your words when you felt a particularly strong wave of affection coming from him. 

When you finally confessed your feelings out loud for the first time to Cobb you had been taken back but the amount of genuine happiness and pride the man felt for you. He had seen it in your face and laughed softly telling you it was about time you let yourself have something that was yours. 

And maybe he was right. Maybe you should talk to Din, the two of you spent your days together, were practically raising Grogu together and yet no matter how certain you were about your feelings for the Mandalorian, you were still terrified. Terrified of actually letting another person in, of falling for somebody, of all the risks and pains that could come from it. 

Sometimes you missed the simplicity of your days spent running, they might have been lonely but you weren’t attached to anybody, there was no risk of you getting hurt.

But spending time with the Mandalorian, spending all your days at his side made you want to take that risk, made you want to see what could come from something between the two of you. Yes, it could end badly and it could hurt and you would curse yourself for getting involved with him but at the same time you could also make it work, you could create a life with him, memories to last a lifetime. 

The Mandalorian made you feel brave enough, happy enough, to want to take that risk. 

It was just a regular day when it finally happened, you hadn’t been planning on confessing anything to the Mandalorian, it really was just a regular day. You got up and the Mandalorian was already awake, as you sat with Grogu in the living room the Mandalorian prepared breakfast for you all, him eating as you and the kid went about your morning meditation. From there you had gone to help Cobb with things in town before you went back home to train with Grogu, the child making great progress in his training.

It was only after Grogu had been put to bed that something shifted. Din was already sitting outside on the floor by the time you had changed out of your clothes and into something more comfortable and you went and sat next to him, the air around you seemed to change and you couldn’t tell if it was the Force or just from all the unspoken words between the two of you. 

Din projected happiness into the Force, he was relaxed and content to sit under the stars with you and you were more than happy to share the silence with him. The Mandalorian often didn’t have much to say, he was used to being alone and not having to fill the silence but once you started the conversation he was always eager to carry it on, seemingly drinking in every word you told him and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Mando,” You started, voice barely a whisper but you suddenly needed to speak, to tell him how you felt, no matter how scared you were you were also ready but before you could say anything more the Mandalorian cut you off.

“Din,” He interrupted softly and your eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he chuckled softly, only just loud enough to be picked up through the helmet. “My name is Din Djarin.”

You could only stare up at him wide eyed, completely shocked that he would share this information with you, knowing how important the way of the Mandalorian was to him. The sudden urge to tell him how you felt only magnified with his words, suddenly you needed him to know.

“Din,” You whispered, feeling a burst of happiness from him and you couldn’t help but smile at him, knowing he was smiling back even with the helmet hiding his face. “Before I met you I had condemned myself to a life alone, to running and never stopping. Then I found this place and something was keeping me here, something I never understood, not until you showed up. You came along and you changed everything, you made me realise I didn’t have to be alone, I didn’t have to live in fear. You made me realise I could be happy, you made- you made me realise I could fall in love. I love you, Din Djarin.” 

Din was silent for a moment and without the Force you would have been worried about what that silence meant, worried that you had read the situation wrong but the Force sung of shock and happiness and joy, Din radiated so much affection and, taking you by surprise, love. 

“I love you too, Y/F/N Y/L/N. I love watching you with Grogu, I love waking up and knowing you’re going to be one of the first things I see in the morning, I know no day could be bad because of it. I, too, used to think I was meant for nothing more than to be alone, to provide for my creche and not know anything more than that. Meeting the kid changed everything for me, he led me to you.” Din’s voice was soft, the truth behind the words so strong you didn’t need to Force to help you make sense of his feelings.

You smiled widely at him and if your eyes had watered up a bit, well Din could hardly judge you when his did the same, the only difference was he had the luxury of the helmet to hide his. Though right now, for maybe the first time since he had put it on, he wished for the helmet to be gone, he longed to kiss you, had waited so long and now here you were telling him you felt the same. 

It was like a dream and he still half expected to wake up and find that he had fallen asleep outside whilst waiting for you.

He brought a hand up to your face, his fingers lightly pushing a piece of hair back before he cupped your cheek, smiling as you practically melted into the touch and he couldn’t do any but kiss you.

“Close your eyes and keep them shut for me.” He murmured softly and watched as your eyebrows knitted together in confusion before you did as he asked and only when your eyes closed did he lift the helmet.

He couldn’t bring himself to take it all the way off but he lifted it enough that his lower half was revealed. 

You felt his lips against yours and your eyes almost shot open in surprise but you just about managed to keep them shut, now understanding the request. Din trusted you, he trusted you to respect his way of living, to respect his choices and you did, you kept your eyes tightly shut in hopes that you would feel those lips against yours again.

You felt his facial hair against your face, his lips were slightly chapped against yours as he pulled you impossibly close to him. The kiss was soft and slow and a little uncoordinated through Din’s lack of experience and the love coming from Din mixed with the kiss was almost overwhelming. You felt like you could drown in the kiss, in him, and you wouldn’t complain once. 

Din’s thumb brushed against your cheek as he kissed you, memorising the feeling of your lips against him. You kissed him back so sweetly and he never wanted to stop, never wanted to not have your lips against his, kissing him just like this. 

Eventually the need for air became too much and the two of you pulled away, Din pulled the helmet down and rested his forehead against yours, not ready to give up kissing you even if you weren’t aware of keldabe kisses. 

You were stunning under the glow of the moonlight, lips swollen and eyes still closed as your breathing returned to normal. The world around him could end now and he wouldn’t be able to look away from you.

You finally opened your eyes and though you couldn’t see his face it didn’t matter, you could feel so much love and happiness coming from him that you were melting in it. You knew you had made the right decision, you didn’t know what would come from it, you couldn't see the future but you did know you made the right decision. 

One you wouldn’t take back for anything.

It was scary to love someone this much and the risk of getting hurt would always be there but it wasn’t a good enough reason to stay silent, not anymore, especially not when you knew how good this felt. You didn’t know what the future held but you would enjoy every moment with Din Djarin whilst you had it and never let him go, not when you had finally got him.

________

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Forget Me

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Prompt -  “'Cause I'm not ready to find out you know how to forget me, I'd rather hear how much you regret me and pray to the stars that you never met me than forget me.”

Han Solo knew he had messed up when he watched your face shift, gone was the hurt and anger, your tears seeming to vanish between one blink and the next and he just knew that this was it. He knew he had pushed you too far this time and he wondered if the two of you would come back from this one.

Throughout the years people had struggled to understand your relationship with Han, it always seemed the two of you were arguing, finding something to fight about and hardly even seemed at peace with one another. Of course you had been happy, you had moments of genuine joy around him, moments when you were bursting with so much love for each other. Then there were times when you rubbed each other the wrong way, you refused to budge and see things from his point of view, he’d completely disregarded something you’d said and cause a world of avoidable trouble.

When you fought it was usually done exactly how you loved each other, wild and passionate and hard to control. There was shouting and crying and one of you was always glaring or scowling, it was how Han knew things were ok between you. It sounded odd to outsiders but when Han saw you glaring over at him as he ranted he knew you’d be ok afterwards.

Never in all your fights had he watched you turn stony faced, seemingly shoving your emotions deep down and bricking them up. It set him on edge, he knew something about this fight was different even if it wasn’t as bad as some of your more explosive ones had been but for some reason this seemed to be the one that tipped you over the edge.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You told him quietly, the silence having passed for long enough to set Han even further on edge and your words had his blood running cold.

The two of you had been through so much together, fought side by side, risked your lives for each other, held each other when things got rough and loved each other more passionately than Han had ever thought possible. You couldn’t leave, not after everything. Part of him hoped you weren’t serious, hoped that this was just a cold move on your part to win the argument but he knew you weren’t like that, no matter how nasty some of your fights got.

“Come on, Y/N,” He said anyway, hoping that he was wrong and you were just playing games. He kept his voice lighter that he felt, a joking edge to it that had you swallowing hard and desperately trying to push down every emotion you felt. 

“I’m serious, Han. This is exhausting, it’s the same damn argument over and over. I tell you it’s stupid and reckless and you jump head first into anyway and it usually ends up coming back to me. I mean how many times has somebody sent bounties after me because of something stupid you did. We go back and forth and it’s going to end with one of us dead these days.” You told him, trying your hardest to keep your voice from shaking and the tears from filling your eyes.

“Baby don’t do this. You want me to stop, I’ll stop right here and now.” Han said, knowing you were deadly serious and hating it. He hated how you were right, hated that you pointed out how much danger he put you in when all he wanted was to protect you. 

“How many times have you promised me that?” You whispered and he felt his heart drop because, again, you always had to be right.

“You can’t just walk away from us, Y/N/N, not after everything.” He pleaded with you taking a step closer only to feel his heart ache as you took a step back.

“I’m tired, Han. We’re fighting a war and we’re fighting each other, I can’t do both, I’m exhausted.” You felt like the entire galaxy was weighing you down most days. Days like today where you had stood beside Leia and watched so many from your army, so many friends, die and all you wanted was to come back to your rooms and take comfort from Han.

Instead you had ended up in a screaming match with him, feeling completely and utterly drained to your bones. You had nothing left to give this relationship, you barely had anything left to give to the fight with the Empire. 

Some days you dreamed of taking Han up on his offer of just flying away in the Falcon, the two of you getting far away from everything. You daydreamed often about how different things would be for both of you if you did just run away but you couldn’t, Leia was your friend and you couldn’t leave her.

Still, it was nice to dream.

“Come on baby, please don’t do this, give us one last chance.” You wanted to cave, wanted desperately to give into his pleading wide eyes and collapse into his arms but you knew you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted it to you knew things wouldn’t change.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered and your voice caught on the words, breaking softly as you fought down a wave of tears that threatened to fill your eyes. 

Han took another step forward and this time you didn’t move away from him, letting him bring his hand up to your cheek before he pressed your foreheads together, looking into your eyes before his fell closed and he brought your lips together.

The kiss was soft and slow, so different from how they usually were. A few tears made their way down your cheeks as you closed your eyes and kissed Han back, savouring the feeling of him against you, letting yourself sink into the kiss but not drown in it, knowing that if you did that you wouldn’t be able to leave.

You were the first pull away, hands coming to rest on Han’s chest as he tried to chase your lips. You knew you had to leave, heart heavy and broken as you pushed away from him and took the few steps needed to reach the door. Han didn’t try to stop you this time as you left, hoping this decision wasn’t permanent.

Months passed without a word from you though. He tried to avoid spending much time on the base but when he was there, well, people liked to talk and were always keen to fill him in on what he had missed. In the few times he had been back he had been informed of your angry words against him, private conversations between you and Leia overheard by the crew. He was told that you had been seen crying most days, sometimes you had to excuse yourself from a planning meeting and somebody would find you alone with tears flowing down your cheeks. Han hated knowing he was the reason for your tears, he never wanted to be the reason you cried and yet a part of him was glad for it because it meant you were thinking about him, you hadn’t just erased him from your thoughts.

Though his heart ached at some of the things he had been told, choice words he hoped had been grossly exaggerated through the rumour mill, it didn’t hurt him as much as he expected it to. If you were dragging his name through the dirt it meant he was still on your mind, it meant you were still holding onto a part of him and that gave him hope. 

Han would gladly take all the criticism you gave him, gladly let you curse him out to anybody who would listen, just to know you still thought about him.

After that night you were heartbroken, through Han’s own wrongdoings, through your constant arguments and your stubborn unwillingness to budge on what you believed in you were left alone. For once you found yourself grateful for the war, you hardly had a moment to sit a stew in your hurt and your pain, though some nights when things were quiet and you’d had too much to drink you tended to drunkenly berate the Captain.

Months went by and you managed to live with the hurt, managed to deal with it and go about your day, thoughts somehow always managing to find their way back to Han Solo. It was strange thinking of him, sometimes you felt so much hate, wanting so badly to get it right with him only to fail each time made you hurt, made you angry at him for not trying harder, angry at yourself for not giving it the final chance he pleaded for. Other times you just felt sad, you missed him dearly. There had been good moments, beautiful moments. You had been at each other's side for so long that to suddenly be without him was lonely.

More months passed and eventually a year had gone by, a long year of days spent aching and longing for you. No matter how far Han went from the base where you were he couldn’t seem to outrun you in his mind, you were always there no matter what he was doing. If he was in the midst of a battle he would think about how wrong it felt not to have your back pressed against his, if he was piloting the Falcon he couldn’t help but miss the way you tried to take over, annoying him by pressing random buttons and instead of your laugh filling the air there was only silence. The nights dragged by painfully slow, he missed you deeply, missed the feeling of you curled into his chest, missed wrapping his body around yours as he held you close, missed waking up and knowing his day would be good just because you were the first thing he saw.

It had been a year and he still missed you so much, he was still holding on hope that you’d take him back, that you still missed him as much as he did you.

It had been a year and you were finally moving on, finally living without the hurt and the pain rather than living with having grown used to it. It may have been a gradual process but you didn’t notice it, not until one day where you were sitting in the cantina and laughing, really laughing, with one of the men from the crew. It hit you like a tonne of bricks that your mind wasn’t on Han and it hadn’t been for a while now.

It was…refreshing. It was nice, even nicer now that you’d actually noticed you were able to get through a day without wanting to cry or rage. You hadn’t realised just how much of your energy it was taking to miss Han. 

Han hadn’t been back to the base in a while now, he knew you hated when he was there, people told him how you locked yourself in your rooms or had Leia send you on a mission whenever he was around. Today he had no choice but to come back and even though he longed to see you, another part of him hoped you still didn’t want to see him just because it would mean you still felt something for him.

He landed on the base, ignoring Chewie’s grumblings about how he wished you were there. He found Leia in the main planning room, the room was filled and yet as he stood in the doorway and saw you he felt everything around him stop. You had to know he was coming, he’d warned Leia two days in advance knowing she would give you a heads up. He could only stare at you, watching as you smiled over at one of the crew a little too friendly for his liking before Leia called out his name. 

His head snapped over to her but from the corner of his eyes he saw you look over at him. If it could be called that, really it was only a half glance, more so at the sudden call from Leia than to look at him before you turned your attention back to the crew member showing you something on the screens.

His heart dropped. There was no pain or longing, your eyes didn’t light up or glare over at him. It was like he was just another member of the crew, a stranger you didn’t know and had no desire to introduce yourself to. It sent a pain right to his heart, his heart was still yours even after a year apart and it seemed you had done the one thing he couldn’t bear to happen, you had forgotten him.

Han nearly lost it then and there, right in front of everybody. He would much rather the crew crowd him and tell him all the nasty things you said about him, hear about how you had cursed and berated him, hear that you wished him dead, hear about you cursing the stars for ever having met him. He would much rather all that than knowing that you knew how to forget him.

It wrecked him, it wrecked him right to the core seeing you dismiss him easily and he knew it wasn’t an act, an attempt to put on a brave face and show him that your separation, your time apart wasn’t affecting you. No, he could tell it was real and he hated knowing you had forgotten him.

Han wasn’t ready to let you go, not even after all the time that had passed. He wasn’t ready to let you forget him but what could he do? Every part of him ached, he was filled with anger and sadness and regret. He should have done something long ago, he shouldn’t have let so much time pass, he should have listened to you and just gave you what you wanted.

He took a step over in your direction, managed two steps before a hand wrapped around his biceps and fingernails dug into his skin. He looked away from you and back to Leia who was glaring at him and shaking her head.

“Leave her alone, Han. You messed up and you missed your chance.” Leia told him, the words weren’t kind but her tone was soft. It was a truth he needed to hear.

Leia had been the one there for you after you walked away from Han. She had been the one who held you as you wept, who watched you scream and pace and drink yourself into a state. She had been the one to stack your workload so high that you were drowning but didn’t have time to think about the man. She had been the one to slowly watch you get better, to go through days where Han didn’t cross your mind.

She liked Han, really she did, but you were her best friend and she hated watching you suffer like you had. You had finally dragged yourself out of that dark pit where Han surrounded your every waking thought and sleeping dream. There was no way she was going to let Han ruin that, she couldn’t bear to watch you go through it again.

“Leia please, that’s my girl, I gotta get her back.” Han pleaded with her, knowing his heart was yours. 

“No Han, she’s not your girl.” Leia told him and pulled him further away from you, watching as he drank you in before she pulled him out of the room. “You lost her, Han and she is finally in a good place. If you care about her you’ll leave her alone.”

Some part of Han knew she was right. Too much time had seemingly passed and it hurt him, it cut him to the core to know that Leia was right, he had lost you. It hurt him, loathe as he was to admit it knowing how selfish it was, but it hurt him to know that you were in a good place because he was supposed to be that good place for you. Now you were living your life and Han wasn’t a part of that, you were happy but it wasn’t Han who was making you happy, though in a way he supposed he was but he was making you happy by staying out of your life.

Even after all this time he wasn’t ready to accept that you could forget him, forget all the good things between you, forget about the love you had felt for each other. He knew he loved you, he knew his heart would always be yours. 

He loved you and he knew Leia was right, if he cared for you he had to leave you alone.

He just hoped that one day you’d remember him again, remember him and take him back. He knew he’d always be waiting for you, he’d still be holding onto the hope he desperately clung too.

_____

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Bigger Than The Whole Sky

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Prompt -  'No words appear before me in the aftermath, I've got a lot to pine about.’

You could still remember the first time you had met Cassian Andor. Both of you had been years younger than you were now, both having seen much more than others your age had. You still remembered how cold and distant Cassian had been with you and remembered how you had practically forced yourself into his life whether he wanted you there or not.

Some days the walls he had built around himself had seemed too heavy to knock down but now, years later, you were glad you had been so persistent in being around him. 

He was your best friend, your soulmate, the one person you knew would always have your back and who knew you would have his, the one person you could completely be yourself around and not have to hold back anything. He had seen your worst days, just as you had seen his and you had both been each other's best days.

You and Cassian were inseparable once you had managed to break through his walls though, the two of you were never far from each other. When one of you was sent on a mission, no matter how close or easy, the other always tagged along until the Rebellion gave in and General’s sent you on missions together with fond eye rolls.

It wasn’t a surprise when you found yourself looking at Cassian when he wasn’t looking at you, whether it be sneaky glances from the gaps in your hair or looking up at him from under your lashes. You knew you loved him, there was no doubting that, but you hadn’t ever realised just how deep that love had gone until one mission where you had nearly lost him.

You had watched the building Cassian had entered blow up before your eyes and tears filled them instantly. Your knees gave out and you were on the floor before you even realised it. 

You were completely numb but forced your hand to move, pressing down on the comm and begging for Cassian to answer you, only to sob as no reply came.

You had no idea how long you stayed kneeling on the floor, choked sobs mixed with pleading words for Cassian to answer you, for him to be ok, for him to come back to you. Your mind was racing, trying to conjure up a future without Cassian only to come back with nothing and you didn’t know how you were supposed to carry without him.

You didn’t hear the rustle of twigs and leaves as you hunched over, your head resting on your knees as you sobbed for Cassian.

“Hey,” Cassian forced out, throat dry from inhaling smoke. He stumbled over to you before collapsing down in front of you, forcing a comforting smile onto his face even with the pain that seemed to spread across his entire body. “Hey, look at me.”

Your head had shot up, more sobs, this time of absolute relief, escaping you and you immediately leaned into Cassian’s touch when he brought his hand up to your cheek, gently brushing away the tears though they were quickly replaced by new ones. Your own hand came up to clutch Cassian’s and you let your eyes fall closed as he pulled you to him, meeting you halfway and resting his forehead against yours. 

“I thought-” You choked out and Cassian gently shushed you, ignoring the pain as he shifted closer to you, moving his head until his lips pressed against your forehead and just letting them rest there for a moment.

“I know,” He murmured against your forehead, “but I’m here, I’m here, Y/N/N.” 

After that moment you had refused to keep your feelings to yourself and had waited only until you were back on base and Cassian had been cleared by the medical droid before you had pulled him aside and told him everything, surprisingly unnervous considering your entire friendship was being put on the line.

But Cassian had only smiled over at you. It wasn’t a big smile, it was a shy pull of his lips but his face had lit up at your words before he had cupped your cheek, softly, almost like he was afraid that any sudden movements would break the moment and you would change your mind. You had only smiled back at him and that seemed to be all the reassurances he needed to bring your lips together. 

Kissing Cassian was something you had thought about for a long time, hours spent wondering how this moment would feel and now that his lips were finally against yours…there were no words to describe how perfect a kiss it was, no words to describe how everything around you seemed to fade away. 

It was over much too soon for your liking and you chased after Cassian’s lips, relishing the chuckle he let out before kissing you softly again, pulling away only to rest his forehead against yours.

From that moment on you and Cassian become each other’s everything. You were the go to team when the Rebellion needed something handling with guaranteed success, you were the first thing the other saw before going to sleep and waking up the next morning. You were the hope the other needed on days when the darkness seemed to swallow the light and you were the arms the other could cuddle into whenever you needed.

For months after you had gotten together, years before you had even begun dating, you had never been separated on a mission so when Cassian was pulled aside one day to be debriefed on a mission that he would be doing solo you were both on edge. 

“Give me a reason she can’t come.” Cassian demanded, his hand resting on the small of your back as you stood before the Generals who were shaking their heads. 

“We have already told you she isn’t needed for this part of the mission.” One of them said but you weren’t paying attention, too focused on your worry of being separated from Cassian for the first time in years. “Trust in the plan, Captain.”

And so you did. 

You watched him leave the base, waited restlessly as time passed for any message from him. You hated having no contact with him, it was the longest you had gone without talking to one another since the early days of meeting him.

“Please let him be ok.” You whispered softly to whatever force would listen to you as you lost track at time staring at the screen.

Somebody seemed to be listening to your prayers though and you let out a silent breath of relief when Basteren informed you all of the message he had received.

“A coded message from Captain Andor, sir ‘weapon confirmed, Jedha destroyed. Mission target located on Eadu, please advise.’”

Hearing that Cassian was supposed to continue on with the plan, that Jedha had been destroyed sent a wave of fear and anxiety through you and you had to fight down the urge to ask to be sent to Eadu, to meet Cassian there and offer your help.

You knew it would only be shot down.

It wasn’t long later that the command room was silent as Basteren tried to make contact with Cassian and his group, the sound of radio static had your stomach turning, mind already coming up with a multitude of reasons he wasn’t answering and none of them were good.

“The signal’s gone dead.” Basteren told the room and you closed your eyes, refusing to let the tears you felt well up fall.

“Squadron up.” Draven said and you opened your eyes to look at him pleadingly but he wasn’t looking at you. “Target Eadu.”

The room became a flurry of movement and you made your way over to Draven, having to jog to catch up to him as he left the room.

“No.” He said before you could even open your mouth and you frowned before arguing. 

“I don’t understand why you are suddenly so against me and Cassian working together. For years we have only had successful missions and suddenly-”

“He cannot be distracted.” Draven told you, stopping suddenly in the hallway and turning to you. “This is not a standard mission, we have to kill Galen Erso, if you were there you would only be a distraction. It’s no secret both of you would jeopardise a mission if the other was in danger. That cannot happen here, whatever Erso is building is dangerous, it’s deadly. You must stay.”

“I can’t do that, Sir.” You told him with a frown, knowing his words weren’t wrong. “Cassian’s out there somewhere. The others can focus on Galen, my mission is to get Cassian and K2 out of there.”

There was a moment of silence and Draven knew you were not asking for his permission, he knew no matter what he said you would be making your way to Eadu in the next few minutes and all he could do was sigh.

“You and Andor are going to be the death of me, Y/L/N, I can feel it.” He told you and you grinned at him before nodding your head and heading down the hallway and into a ship.

You flew the ship easily, you weren’t as natural a pilot as Cassian was but he had taught you enough that you were a decent enough flyer, though you preferred it when Cassian was in the pilot's seat and you next to him.

As the other pilots made their way to the base you flew lower to search for Cassian and K-2SO. It felt like you were just flying around aimlessly when you finally spotted a ship that seemed to be grounded and prayed to whoever was listening that this was them and not just some random abandoned ship.

You landed your ship and opened the doors, stepping out and wiping at the rain that fell onto your face, walking over to the ship with a blaster in your hands. You got close enough to the ship and recognised it as one of your own, breathing a sigh of relief though you didn’t lower your blaster yet as you stepped in and looked around seeing it empty.

A noise from the cockpit had you raising your blaster only for you to laugh a second later and lower the weapon.

“Y/N!” K2 said and you grinned at him. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, K.” You told him just as the ship lit up letting you know it was functional again. “Where’s Cassian? Where are the others?” 

“Cassian and the pilot went to look for Galen Erso, the others followed them.” K2 informed you and you cursed, already hearing the sounds of the battle in the distance.

“Get the ship in the air now!” You commanded and K2 didn’t question you as he took control of the ship and had you in the air in moments. “There! They’re there, K2, go down!”

“Shoot Y/N!” K2 ordered and you immediately did as he said, shooting at the Imperial ships before opening the door and calling for everyone to get in, smiling despite the situation as Cassian paused to stare at you in shock before he shook himself and ran onto the ship.

Cassian waited until the door closed to turn to you, seemingly frozen for a second before he pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on your head. You didn’t hesitate to hug him back, the two of you clinging to each other as if your lives depended on it.

“It’s good to see you.” He murmured and you smiled, nodding against him as you tightened your grip on him. “I have missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You whispered, “I hate that they won’t let me be a part of this mission.”

“You lied to me.” A voice said, pulling you and Cassian out of the bubble the two of you seemed to enter whenever you were together, blocking everyone else out.

You heard Cassian sigh against you before he pulled away from you, squeezing your arm gently before letting go and turning to Jyn.

“You went up there to kill my father.” She accused and you couldn’t help but wince, she wasn’t wrong, that had been Cassian’s mission but you still couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. “Deny it.”

You frowned as she continued, continued to put the blame solely on Cassian when he was simply following orders, putting the Rebellion’s needs above everything. You reached down slowly and took Cassian’s hand in your own, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze causing Cassian to let out a soft sigh.

“I had every chance to pull the trigger but did I?” He asked her and you couldn’t help but frown. It wasn’t often that Cassian went against orders. “I had orders, orders that I disobeyed. But you wouldn’t understand that.” Cassian snapped and the woman continued to place the blame on Cassian’s shoulders.

“You might as well be a stormtrooper.” She accused and you took a step forward, only stopped by Cassian tightly squeezing your hand before he pulled away and stepped close to Jyn.

“What do you know?” He asked, “We don’t all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was six years old, Y/N since she was eight! Our childhoods stolen from us! You’re not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it.”

“You can’t talk your way around this.” Jyn said and you couldn’t help but glare at her, you understood her side of things but she couldn’t keep placing the blame on Cassian.

Cassian was right, the two of you had been in this fight longer than you’d been out of it, neither of you hardly remembered a time before it. No matter how much you hated it, it was your lives and you would do what you had to to see the end of the Empire.

“I don’t have to.” Cassian told her before walking away from her and Jyn’s eyes fell on you, jutting her chin out when she saw your glare.

“I’m sorry about your father but watch how you speak to him, we’ve all had to do things we don’t want to. It’s the only way we win.” You told her before shouldering past her and following Cassian up the stairs.

“You ok?” You asked as you sat next to him and Cassian nodded even as he didn’t look over at you. “It’ll be over soon, pretty soon all this fighting and following orders will be done and we can start something new.”

Cassian’s lips twitched upwards at that, at the thought of all the plans and dreams of a future the two of you talked about, at the thought of them becoming a reality soon and his hands reached over to cup one of yours so you counted it as a win.

“I’m glad to have you back at my side, mi querida.” Cassian told you, bringing your hands to his lips and placing a soft kiss to the back of it.

“Me too, Cassian, being away from you-”

“I will never let them separate us again, after this mission is done you’re not leaving my side.” He chuckled and you joined him, not at all mad at that plan.

“I wouldn’t complain about that.” You told him, the two of you smiling at one another before he tugged you close, your head on his shoulder and his arms holding you tightly, both of your thoughts on a future after the war was won.

From there followed a long meeting with the Council members, a long meeting of listening to Jyn plead her case and you had to admit it was a good speech, inspiring for somebody who hadn’t seemed to care for the Rebellion only a week ago.

“Rebellions are built on hope.” She told the people in the room and you couldn’t help but smile at the words you had heard spoken before by the man you loved, clearly he had made an impact on her too.

“Without the full support of the Council…the odds are too great.” You felt your eyes fall shut at her word before you turned to leave the room after Jyn.

You walked out of the room with her, ignoring the conversation around you as you leaned against the wall, thoughts on surrender after all you had given, after all Cassian and the countless others had given to the cause.

As they spoke you looked up in time to see Cassian stepping forward, a small crew behind him and couldn’t help but beam at him, Cassian catching your expression and smiling back at you. 

You should have known surrender wasn’t an option.

“We’d like to volunteer,” Cassian told Jyn and you felt an overwhelming surge of love for the man before you. “We've all done terrible things on behalf of the Rebellion,” He said, eyes glancing over to you and you looked down, thoughts haunted by all you had done since joining. 

“Everything I did, I did for the Rebellion and every time I walked away from something I wanted to forget, I told myself it was for a cause that I believed in, a chance to give the people I love something better.” When you looked up Cassian’s eyes were still on you and you gave him a soft smile, watching as he relaxed slightly. “Without that we’re lost. Everything we’ve done would have been for nothing.”

You and Cassian stayed locked on each other as he spoke, out of the corner of your eyes you saw Jyn turn around, following Cassian’s eyes and seeing they were focused on you, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“I couldn’t face myself if I gave up now. None of us could.” The two of you stood like idiots just smiling at each other as everyone else moved into action before Cassian made his way over to you.

His hands came up to cup your cheeks, bringing you close to him as he rested his forehead against yours, staying silent as his eyes slipped closed.

“You can’t come.” He whispered and you frowned, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion but you didn’t pull away from him, instead you stayed silent and waited for him to continue. “I need somebody here I trust and there is no one I trust more than you, my love.”

You stayed silent still, a part of you was screaming that you shouldn’t let him leave the base without you, something about him going felt wrong but you chalked it up to your dislike of being away from Cassian, the time away from him already not doing you good but after this mission you wouldn’t have to be away from him again.

Still it was hard to ignore how wrong it felt to let him leave.

“Stay safe.” You finally murmured and he grinned at you, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’ll be home before you know it, darling, I promise.” He told you and you couldn’t help but smile back at him before he ducked his head down, pressing his lips to yours.

The kiss was full of passion, making up for all the lost kisses in the time you’d been apart from each other and full of promises of many more to come. By the time he pulled away you were left with swollen lips and panting for breath.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised and you nodded breathlessly, causing him to chuckle, pressing another softer kiss to your plumped lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Cassian.” You told him with a soft smile and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing you once more before running off into the ship waiting for him.

Your smile widened as he grinned, mouthing another ‘I love you’ at you and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you lifted your hand to wave him off.

Once he was gone your smile faded and you let the worry settle in, knowing you could be in for a long wait in which you could do nothing but let your mind focus on the what if’s. 

“Sitting this one out, Y/L/N?” A voice asked and you turned to see Admiral Raddus marching to his ship.

Cassian had told you he needed you here but you could do everything you could here just as easily as you could on his ship and grinned at the General before following after him, the General gesturing for you to get on board before giving the command to head to Scarif.

“They closed the shield gate.” You whispered and the General turned to you, a grim look on his face. “They’re locked in. We have to get it open!”

“You heard her, get it open!” Admiral Raddus commanded and there was a chorus of yes sirs.

You hated how useless you felt, all Rebel frequencies were blocked, there was no way to contact or get to Cassian. You wished more than ever you had listened to that screaming feeling earlier telling you to go with Cassian to Scarif.

You could only watch from the safety of the ship as the squadrons focused their attacks on the shield gate. Even as your deflector ships decreased you couldn’t find it in you to care, not  when you had no idea what was happening to Cassian.

“-this is Rogue One, come in. Over.” Your knees very well nearly gave out when you heard a voice come through the comms, tears already filling your eyes as the Admiral responded. “We have the plans. They found the Death Star plan. They have to transmit them from the communications tower, you have to take down the shield gate. It’s the only way they’re gonna get them through.”

You desperately wanted to ask about Cassian but knew you couldn’t, you just had to trust that he was ok as you helped the Admiral command the troops and couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as you watched the Star Destroyer go down, disabling the shield gate and knowing Cassian could get out once the plans were with you.

It would be easy sailing from this moment on and then you could be with Cassian again, the time for the two of you to lay down together in each other’s arms, no words needing to be spoken between the two of you as you just held each other couldn’t come soon enough.

“Admiral, we’re receiving transmission from Scarif.” Somebody said and you could help the laugh of relief that escaped you, glad that Cassian would be back with you any minute. ‘Admiral, we have the plans!”

“Sir,” somebody said and you turned to glance behind you, “We’re detecting a massive object emerging from hyperspace.”

“What is tha-” You began to ask but cut yourself off as your eyes widened and it felt like all the air had left your lungs.

“What is it?” The Admiral asked instead and you had to swallow past the lump in your throat before you could speak.

“It’s the Death Star.” You whispered, near silently but the words seemed to echo around the room as if you’d shouted them.

You couldn’t do anything. 

You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. All you could do was stare out of the window, stomach churning and your blood cold as you watched the planet below you implode on itself. Tears made their way from your eyes and down your cheeks but you didn’t notice until the salty tears streamed past your lips. 

“Rogue one,” the Admiral said as you cried, hand on the window as you watched in horror, “may the Force be with you.”

Alarms began to sound throughout the ship, people yelled commands and cried out in fear but you ignored it all, barely registering the sounds, as you continued to stare out of the window. 

You were completely numb, completely empty like everything had been ripped from you. 

The explosion was still happening, completely destroying everything in proximity, taking the lives of everyone on the base. 

Taking Cassian. 

A part of you was waiting on a miracle. A large miracle from the galaxy, one gift for all that you and Cassian had given, had sacrificed, to protect it. Your eyes stayed focused on the scene hoping to see a ship, pleading silently with any force that would listen to you to just give you this. 

But nothing came. 

Nobody answered your prayers. 

You would have stayed there forever if you could, frozen in that exact moment in time for the rest of your life if not for the person pulling you back to reality as they bumped into you as they ran by, turning to face you as he shouted to you. 

“Vader’s boarding the ship!” He warned before continuing towards the escape pods. 

Anger flared in you, pure anger you hadn’t felt in a long time. This was all Vader’s doing, he should have to pay for taking Cassian from you. 

The time you had spent with Cassian wasn’t long, it would never be long enough no matter how much time you had spent with him. Vader had taken him from you, taken all the time that was meant to be yours and Cassian’s. 

Vader had doomed you to the worst of fates, to the coldest of lives. You would always be pining for Cassian, never able to move on from the man who you loved more dearly than anything else in the whole galaxy.

A life without Cassian Andor seemed…it didn’t seem real. It was impossible to think that you would wake up and the first thing you saw wouldn’t be Cassian but instead an empty bed where he should’ve been. It seemed impossible that Cassian wouldn’t be there to fight at your side, to hold you close and kiss you like you were the only person in the galaxy. 

The thought of living without Cassian Andor made you sick to your stomach and sobs finally escaped you as you fell to your knees. The sobs were those a person never wanted to hear, the kind that spoke of true loss and absolute heartbreak. 

You couldn’t do anything but sob, hunched over as the cries kept coming, even as the ship shook and the fighting carried on around you. 

“Hey!” You looked up when you heard a fist thumping against the window of one of the rooms behind you and saw the door was jammed. “Please, he's coming.” 

Somehow you forced your body up and though the tears kept falling you made your way over to the door, you and the man both trying to push it open without success. 

The man’s head whipped around and you sniffed as you followed his gaze, seeing Vader stood at the end of the corridor.

“You have to get this to Leia Organa.” He told you, voice shaking as he held the information Cassian had died to get. 

Another sob escaped you at the thought. 

“Please!” He begged when you didn’t move to take it and you finally nodded, taking it as Vader marched towards the man. “Go!”

You did as he said, hearing the choked cries from behind you as you ran, crashing into droids and people because your vision was so blurred from the tears still making their way down your face.

This was Cassian’s last sacrifice, he had given his life to get this information to the Rebellion and you were going to make sure his last act was carried out. 

So you ran, you ran until your sides ached and then some more. From behind you you could hear heavy footsteps and the filtered breathing letting you know no matter how fast you ran you couldn’t outrun Vader. 

But you had to. 

For Cassian. 

You got to the hallway, could see Senator Organa’s daughter waiting for you behind the closed door, her face lighting up when she saw you. You took a deep breath, ignoring the tears and made your way over to her only to be stopped by an invisible force. 

You watched as Leia’s eyes widened and knew without needing to turn around that Vader was close behind you. 

You should have felt scared, should have felt terrified but you didn’t. The only things running through you right now were determination and anger. You knew one way or another you would get the information to Leia, there was no doubt about this, maybe if it hadn’t been Cassian’s last act but it was and you needed to see it finished. 

The anger was intense. 

You could feel it lighting you up from inside, such a drastic shift from the numbness you had felt only moments before and you used that determination and anger to force your feet forward, to fight against whatever was trying to hold you in place. 

It took all your concentration to put one foot in front of the other, a task that was made harder as Vader’s invisible grip on you only seemed to tighten but you made it to the door by some miracle. 

You pressed the button to open it and swallowed against the lump in your throat as it jammed, only opening the smallest amount. 

From behind you the heavy footsteps got closer and closer and when you glanced back you saw Vader was only a few steps behind, seconds away from you. 

“Princess Leia,” you whispered and she looked back towards you, a sorry look on her face. “Go.”

As discreetly as you could you moved your hand holding the data towards the small crack in the door and pushed it through. Leia’s eyes widened but a second later you felt her fingers brush against yours and the data was with her. 

‘Thank you.’ She mouthed and you nodded before closing your eyes, feeling Vader behind you before he turned you around and pinned you to the wall with the Force, your feet dangling from the ground. 

“You lost, Vader. The Rebellion will always win.” You told him, glaring at him even as the tears still slid down your cheeks. 

“Give me the information.” He demanded and you let out a laugh that sounded hysterical as it mixed with a sob. 

“You lost.” You repeated through gritted teeth as Leia’s ship disengaged from yours and Vader’s head snapped around to stare as his information was taken.

“You will not live to see what becomes of your precious Rebellion.” Vader told you and you could hear his rage even through the modulator, his words and anger only making you smile even with the tears still running down your face.

“You already ended my life when you blew that base up. You killed the man who means everything to me. Killing me now would only be a merciful act. I don’t need to live to see what will become of the Rebellion, I already know they will win. I only want to be with him now.” 

“Pathetic.” Vader told you and your smile widened into a grin even as an invisible force tightened its grip around your throat.

You knew what would come next, knew that there was no chance of you leaving the ship and you didn’t care. You knew you were about to die and you didn’t care, there was no fear, no desperation, no part of you wanted to scream and plead with Vader to let you go, to show mercy and spare your life.

No, you were ready for what Vader was about to do to you. You were ready to die because no part of you could envision a life without Cassian by your side. 

A galaxy without Cassian Andor seemed impossible. 

You had completed his mission, the two of you working as a team one last time to bring the information that would lead to the downfall of the Empire. You only hoped that when the end came Cassian would be waiting for you on the other side, the two of you ready to start whatever adventure waited for you after death together, hand in hand.

Vader tightened his invisible grip around your neck and you could feel your pulse stuttering, straining against the grip and your vision began to blur and darken. Even as you felt yourself slipping from consciousness you didn’t panic.

Instead you let your lips pull into a smile, it was a barely there smile but it was visible enough to make Vader snarl and tighten his grip even more causing a choked sob to escape you but the smile never faded even as you did. 

You were at peace.

You would see Cassian again soon enough.

________________

NEW CHARACTER - Cassian Andor Taglist /

@chiaraxtargaryen

Haunted

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Prompt - ‘You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, never ever thought I'd see it break. Never thought I'd see it.’

For years both you and Anakin had known you walked a fragile line, at first it wasn’t too obvious, how could it have been when the two of you were just children? The years spent growing up together, side by side were filled with the best of memories but what you didn’t know was the Jedi Council was always watching the blossoming friendship, always weary of how far it would grow.

It wasn’t until you were years older that you realised the scrutiny you were under, even if nobody outright acknowledged it, everybody knew. There were whispers in the halls of you and Anakin, ones that neither of you helped with considering how your friendship grew stronger and stronger each day. You and Anakin were inseparable, you did everything together, you trained together, you ran off together to explore the city, you went on missions together.

The Jedi Council could see the attachment that was growing but just as they were about to put a stop to it, to put some plan into place that would force you and Anakin apart, the Clone Wars began and not even the Jedi Council, much as they wished they could, could deny the fact that you and Anakin were a force to be reckoned with when you fought together.

So whilst they didn't trust this growing attachment they couldn’t do anything but send the two of you off to fight alongside each other, knowing that the risk of your attachment growing was outweighed by the war hanging over them.

The Clone Wars saw you and Anakin somehow spending even more time at each other’s side, fighting back to back for months on end. It wasn’t a surprise to either of you when you both finally caved, it had been a bad mission from the get-go, one that saw you and Rex taken and tortured for days before Anakin and the rest of the 501st could get to you.

Anakin had carried you onto the ship after slaughtering anybody who had stood in his way of getting to you, uncaring of the fact he knew he’d have to answer to the Council later for going against their direct orders to come and rescue you but their plan would have left you with the Pyke’s for days longer and he refused to do that.

He didn’t leave your side as Kix worked to patch up the injuries you’d received and Anakin barely held his anger in check, the ones who had hurt you were dead and you needed him more now. By the time you were blinking awake Anakin had managed to calm himself, smiling at you and assuring you everything was fine even as his heart raced and he remembered the fear that coursed through him each day you were gone.

When Kix finally gave you the all clear Anakin wrapped his arm around you despite your, admittedly weak protests that you were fine. You felt much better but you were never going to push Anakin’s touch away. You let Anakin lead you to his quarters on the ship, both of you needing to be close to one another after the past few days.

It wasn’t until you were in bed together, nothing unusual especially since the Clone Wars began, you and Anakin had often shared a sleeping space. Anakin had you in his arms, finally calm as he listened to you breathe evenly against his chest. He pressed his lips to your head and murmured soft words against your hair, telling you how scared he had been, how he couldn’t lose you.

It was only when you turned your head to look up at him, your expression so full of understanding, of shared fear of what could happen during the War, of love. Anakin could hardly have stopped himself, he’d been so good keeping to himself, knew the kind of scrutiny you were under at the Temple, but here on the ship it was just the two of you, no need to pretend that there were no feelings between the two of you.

That night was spent trading lazy kisses and smiles full of so much happiness, years of feelings finally allowed to be felt.

Of course neither of you were foolish, you knew the risks of a secret relationship, knew it was a dangerous game to play. Away from Coruscant it was easier to manage and whilst you weren’t foolish, you weren’t always all too good at keeping away from each other. Thankfully the Clones were capable of keeping secrets they learnt out on the field a secret from those back home, something you and Anakin were immensely grateful for after being caught locked at the lips by more than one trooper.

Being back in Coruscant was challenging, especially when you were there for longer stretches of time which was becoming few and far between as the war stretched on. It seemed like since the Clone Wars began everyone was keeping an even closer eye on you each time you returned home. The sneaking around and all the risks that came with being together were worth it, especially when you got to spend your nights together.

The two of you talked about everything but the topic you liked most was what you would do when the Clone Wars were won. If Anakin had asked you months ago, before the Clone Wars began, you would have left the Order to be with him, of that you had no doubt. Now both of you were a part of a fight, one neither of you would walk away from until it was finished, but it didn’t stop you dreaming of a life together far, far away.

So many different ideas got tossed around but the one you liked most was a quiet life together, just you and Anakin, a little house that was just yours, away from the questioning eyes of the Council, away from people judging if your feelings for Anakin were wrong. Both you and Anakin had made such promises and plans for the future, neither one of you believing that your relationship could break, there was so much love there that the thought was impossible.

And the thought only became more and more unthinkable as years passed, both of you had grown a lot in the years of the Clone Wars. You really had no choice but to adapt, to toughen your emotions but it only made you and Anakin lean on each other even more, the longer the war lasted the more you tried to hold on hope of the future you whispered about in the early hours of the morning.

But there was a shift in the Force that had you on edge, had you feeling like you couldn’t trust anybody. Anakin felt it too, you know he did but he refused to talk about it with you. You didn’t think too much of it at first, the war was dragging everybody down but Anakin was still angry and lost with the loss of Ahsoka, the shift in the Force only making his mood worse.

Each day passed and you could feel the power of the Dark Side growing more and more, leaving you feeling cold and hopeless for the future of the war. Anakin was going off more and more these days, something that had you raising an eyebrow since the two of you were practically always together, now it felt like you hardly saw him.

When you did finally see him again it was to greet Ahsoka, the young ex-Padawan looking so much more grown up than she had only a few short years ago. Somehow it felt like this war had been going on for much longer than three years, it felt like it was all you’d ever known. Anakin had looked tired and only gave you the bare minimum of responses but when Ahsoka finally arrived his whole face lit up and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips, you really couldn’t wait for this war to be over.

It wasn’t much later than that when Ahsoka was leaving with Rex and half of the 501st that Anakin excused himself after glancing down at his comm, murmuring something about meeting with the Chancellor. You barely suppressed an eyeroll, something about the man had always set you on edge but you’d never been able to figure out why. Anakin had always told you what a great man he was, wise and willing to teach him, but you never bought into the kind, grandfather act.

You let your thoughts wander until Cody came to alert you that Obi-Wan had received a message asking for you and him to meet with the Council, Anakin already there before you arrived with news to share. Hearing him say that the Jedi finally had their chance with Grievous had you feeling a spark of hope, one you hadn’t felt for a while, Ahsoka was on her way to attempt to capture Darth Maul and if the Jedi were successful then this war could be over.

“The Chancellor has requested that I lead the campaign to capture Grievous.” Anakin said and you frowned slightly, looking around the room and seeing the immediate disagreement, quietly sighing knowing it wouldn’t go over well with Anakin.

“No,” Master Windu said, not wasting time, “the Chancellor does not get to decide on these matters.”

“Agree, I do.” Master Yoda said and you watched Anakin’s face shift into a cold, emotionless look. “A master, we shall send.”

It wasn’t even a conversation that needed happening, one Master said Obi-Wan was the Jedi for the job and everybody agreed.

“Skywalker, your mission is to…observe the Chancellor, he won’t suspect anything amiss since he trusts you.” Master Windu said and you watched Anakin frown.

“Suspect? You want me to spy on the Chancellor? What reason do you have for this request?” Anakin exclaimed and you couldn’t help the quiet sigh that escaped you.

“Nothing concrete yet, nothing that you need to concern yourself with, just watch the Chancellor.” Master Windu commanded before turning to you. “Y/L/N, you will accompany Master Kenobi to Utapau and assist with the takedown of General Grievous.”

“And now you’re not even letting me and Y/N work together? You only wished to send a Master to Utapau and now you’re letting her go.” Anakin interrupted but both you and Master Windu ignored him. “Send me to Utapau instead, there is no need to spy on the Chancellor!”

“Of course, Master Windu.” You agreed and Anakin turned to look at you in disbelief, you could all see he was gearing up to say something but you spoke before he could. “If me and Anakin could be dismissed, I’d like to talk to him before our missions?”

“Of course Y/N,” Obi-Wan said softly, a tired smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll have Cody prepare the ship, join us as soon as possible.”

With that you nodded towards the Master’s before gesturing for Anakin to follow you out of the room who did so with a small huff. You lead him to an empty room, making  sure the door closed behind you before you went to talk but before you could Anakin beat you to it.

“Can you believe this?” He huffed again, pacing the room with his arms crossed. “They suspect the Chancellor is a part of something, it’s ridiculous I’ve known the man since I was a child, he just wants to help. Not only that but they want to tear us apart, I won’t let them do it, Y/N!”

“Anakin,” You said slowly, taking a step back towards the door, there was anger coming from Anakin you had never felt before, he was practically radiating burning rage and it felt like it was trying to wrap around you, consume you, to the point where it was almost overwhelming. “I can’t speak for the Council’s decision to observe the Chancellor but for them to think it necessary then something must have happened-”

“Nothing happened, Y/N! Can’t you see, this is just another plan to keep us apart.” You couldn’t help but frown at the words, Anakin kept repeating them, convinced the Council had finally decided to put a stop to yours and Anakin’s bond.

“Anakin, we’re fighting a war! The Council couldn’t care less what we get up to in our free time, not right now. Can’t you feel it Anakin, the war is coming to an end,” You told him desperately trying to dispel some of his anger, stepping forward and wrapping your hands around his crossed arms, “after that what they have to say won’t matter. We’ll have done our part, we’ve fought this war for so long but soon it’ll be done and we can pick one of the thousand lives we’ve wished for and make it our own.”

“They’ll never allow us to do that, you have to see they want to take you away from me.” You had never understood why the Jedi forbid relationships, in the whole time you had known Anakin, in the time you’d had with him you had never felt anything bad from your bond but right here with him you could see why the Jedi forbid attachments. There was something unsettling about the possessive, almost dark look in Anakin’s eyes, the way his pupils widened until you could barely see the colour surrounding it. “Why else would they send you with Obi-Wan?”

“They’re sending me with Obi-Wan because he’s preparing to take on Grievous, he’ll need backup. If I suddenly showed up at the Chancellor's office don’t you think he’d get suspicious?” You said, keeping your voice clear and calm even though you felt anything but.

“Do you want to be with me, Y/N?” Anakin asked suddenly and you couldn’t help but frown.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Anakin. You know I love you more dearly than anything.” You told him honestly, even with this dark cloud that seemed to hang over him, you hoped it was just because the end of the war was approaching and that once it was won everything would go back to normal.

“Stay with me then. Obi-Wan has the 212th, they’ll be his backup.” Anakin pleaded but you were already shaking your head.

Before you could say anything though you comm went off and Anakin’s face darkened as Obi-Wan’s voice filled the room.

“Y/N, we’re ready on the ship.” He told you, “Do be quick, I’d like to capture Grievous quickly without giving him a chance to escape again.”

“Don’t go with him, he wants to keep us apart.” Anakin told you but you shook your head again.

“I’ll be right there, Master Kenobi.” You said softly into your comm and suddenly Anakin’s hand was around your wrist, holding tightly to him. “Anakin, let go of me.”

Anakin didn’t say anything, just stared at you with a dark look on his face. You held his gaze until he released your arm with a sigh and you didn’t waste any time before leaving the room, not looking back as you made your way to the hangar bay where Obi-Wan waited with the 212th.

“Ready to end a war, Y/N?” Obi-Wan asked as you joined him on the ship, the warm smile on his face such a sharp contrast to the fiery, dark look on Anakin’s.

There was no time to think about that now though, Obi-Wan was right, it was time to end a war. General Grievous was so close, if today went well the war would be over, peace would spread across the galaxy and you would happily leave the Order behind to start a new life with Anakin.

“Let’s do it, Master.” You grinned at him, pushing all thoughts of Anakin out of your head for the moment.

Everything would work out just fine.

It wasn’t the longest battle you had ever fought but it was tiring, thankfully the exhaustion was beat out by the excitement, knowing that you were so close to the end gave you all the energy you needed.

Just as Grievous threw you aside, the air leaving your lungs as you crashed into the wall, you lifted your head up, watching as Obi-Wan clung to the ledge. You watched as he used the Force, drawing a blaster into his fist before he took the shot at Grievous with no hesitation.

You could only stare wide eyed as Obi-Wan kept shooting until there was nothing left but useless remains of Grievous, a breath of relief, of disbelief leaving you. That was it, that was what was needed, the war was won.

“So uncivilised.” Obi-Wan said as he threw the gun causing you to laugh and he immediately walked past Grievous' remains and held a hand out for you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder once you were up and wincing.

“Congratulations, Obi-Wan, you just won a war.” You grinned at him, both of you beaming happily, waiting for years for this moment and it was finally here.

“I couldn’t have done it without your help, young one.” Obi-Wan chuckled, “come, let us go and assist Cody and the others.”

Obi-Wan and you quickly made your way over to Cody, letting him know the news and prepared to make quick work of the rest of the battle so you could return to Coruscant together. As you and Obi-Wan made your way up towards the higher levels you were stopped by blasts directed at you, the fall and then the shock of the water startling you.

“Obi-Wan!” You yelled as you re-emerged from the water, coughing as you looked around. Obi-Wan came up for air seconds later, yelling at you to follow him and he tossed you an aquata breather.

“Come on, we must get to a ship and find out what’s happening.” Obi-Wan whispered once the two of you were a safe enough distance away, Obi-Wan climbing out of the water first, beginning the climb up the wall, holding a hand out to help you up too.

It didn’t take you long to get back to the surface, you and Obi-Wan sharing a glance once you realised it was the Clones that were targeting you. Obi-Wan put a finger to his mouth, gesturing for you to stay quiet before motioning for you to follow him.

It wasn’t long before the two of you got to a ship, both of you climbing in and Obi-Wan didn’t waste any time getting the two of you off of Utapau. You were breathing heavily by the time Obi-Wan had the ship off the planet, the Master immediately taking control of the situation in a way only he knew how to do, sending out an emergency code in a clear and calm voice, the complete opposite to your shaky hands and panting breaths.

Listening to Senator Organa tell you that it wasn’t just the 212th that had turned against the Jedi but it seemed to be every Battalion sent an ache through your heart. For years the Jedi had fought side by side with these troopers, they had become family and to have them turn on you all, it was like you could feel each loss.

The journey to Master Yoda was a silent one, both you and Obi-Wan lost in your heads, thoughts racing a mile a minute. How had things gone so wrong in the span of a few hours, this battle on Utapau was meant to win you the war, it was supposed to be cause for celebration, not whatever this was.

“Good to see you, it is, Master Kenobi, Young Y/N.” Yoda greeted as you and Obi-Wan boarded the ship.

“Master Yoda, thank the Force you’re alright.” You said as you made your way over to him and the Senator, leaning into Bail’s touch as he set a steadying hand on your shoulder.

“How many other Jedi survived?” Obi-Wan asked as Master Yoda gestured for you all to follow him.

“Heard from no one, have we.” Master Yoda told you both and Bail told you of the attack on the Temple and on Coruscant, thousands of troopers attacking and killing any Jedi inside, killing the younglings without a shred of mercy. You stopped walking suddenly causing Obi-Wan to walk into the back of you and call your name but you were staring down at Master Yoda with wide, watery eyes, shaking your head.

“What about Anakin?” You choked out around the sudden lump in your throat. “You’ve heard from Anakin right?”

“Only hope, can we, remains safe, young Skywalker does.” Master Yoda said, suddenly sounding older and more tired than you had ever heard him before.

You stumbled backwards into Obi-Wan’s chest, the man’s hands coming up to your arms to steady you and you immediately turned and buried your head into his chest, sobs wracking your body as he held you close.

“It doesn’t make sense, we know the troopers, we’ve fought at their side for years! Why would they suddenly turn on us?” You cried into his chest and Obi-Wan shushed you, his hand rubbing up and down your back as he looked down at Master Yoda.

“Have we heard anything from the Temple?” He asked, trying to stay strong, stay composed because right now he needed to be a Jedi Master, he could fall apart later.

You listened to the rest of the conversation, hearing the others tell Obi-Wan that all Jedi have been requested back to the Temple, shaking your head into his chest. You heard Obi-Wan say you must go back and stop others from walking into a trap, the two Jedi agreeing that dismantling the code was the only course of action.

You didn’t care about any of that though, all you could do was close your eyes and reach out with the Force. There was far too much distance between you and Anakin but it didn’t stop you from trying to find him, from pleading with him to meet you halfway through your connection and just show you he was alive.

The answering silence sent a wave of fear crashing through you, Anakin couldn’t be dead…he just couldn’t be.

You let yourself be guided into a seat at the front of the ship, only half aware of the plan to sneak into the Jedi Temple whilst Palpatine held a meeting with the Senate. There was an overwhelming amount of anxiety coursing through you on the journey to Coruscant, knowing that if Anakin wasn’t there then the troopers must have gotten to him first. You knew Anakin was a skilled fighter, one of the best Jedi you’d ever met, but even he would be caught off guard by the Clones suddenly attacking.

When you were landed you were forced to snap back to reality, the Temple was guarded by Clones and every one you took down sent an ache through you, especially when you saw their helmets telling you it was the 501st you were fighting, but eventually you were inside the Temple, following closely behind Obi-Wan and Master Yoda as you walked the halls, trying not to look down at the younglings, not until Master Yoda announced they had been killed by a lightsaber.

The security codes were taken care of by Obi-Wan, whilst he and Master Yoda spoke quietly together you couldn’t help but wander over to the displays. Glancing around to see them occupied, you pressed some buttons to access the security recordings, using Obi-Wan’s password to see them.

All you had to do was press play and you would see who had done this, see if you could see any traces of Anakin and prayed to the Force he had managed to escape.

You held your breath as you started the footage, forwarding through the holo recording before stopping, letting it play at normal speed. Tears filled your eyes, a choked gasp escaping you as you stumbled back, like somehow putting distance between you and the recording would make it less real.

It couldn’t be real, Anakin wasn’t capable of that. You believed that with your whole being and yet the proof was playing out before you. You couldn’t stop the sob that left you, knees buckling and you would have fallen to the floor if Obi-Wan had been there to catch you and keep you up right.

Obi-Wan finally turned the footage off when Anakin was pronounced as Lord Vader, shaking his head and pulling you closer to him.

“Destroy the Sith, we must.” Master Yoda said and you pulled away from Obi-Wan, tears staining your cheeks.

“You can’t kill Anakin!” You protested just as Obi-Wan told the other Jedi he couldn’t kill his old Padawan but Master Yoda gave neither of you a choice in the matter, saying it was too late for Anakin, he was gone and only this new Dark version remained.

You couldn’t believe it, you refused to believe it. Not when you knew Anakin better than you knew yourself, not when you had been there when the war became too much and held him against your chest as he cried for all those who had fallen under his command. Not when you had seen his whole face lit up as he snuck the two of you out of the Temple, not when you had felt him hold you so gently, whispering sweet nothings into your hair, so soft and sweet with you.

He couldn’t be gone.

Of course you had known something had changed in the past few months, especially more over the last few days but surely you couldn’t have missed so much that Anakin had fallen to the Dark Side. No, you couldn’t believe that. Master Yoda might have been so ready to give up on Anakin but you weren’t, you knew there had to be some light left in him, Anakin always seemed to shine so brightly, the Darkness couldn’t engulf it all.

“Young Y/N,” Master Yoda said as he turned to leave, “gone is the man you knew. From your attempts to bring him back, only pain and death and suffering will come. What you know is right, do, for the galaxy.”

You didn’t say anything and he walked away without expecting a reply, leaving you and Obi-Wan alone with your memories of a bright boy you both loved deeply, neither of you ready to believe what you had seen.

You let Obi-Wan take the lead, waiting alone for him to tell you he had found Anakin and when he did he gave you a choice.

“I understand if you do not wish to come,” He said softly, you following him out to the ship and trying not to cry again. “I would hardly blame you for wishing to stay away but you may just be the one who is able to bring Anakin back.”

It wasn’t a difficult choice and you boarded the ship alongside Obi-Wan, not bothering to ask where you were going. You were silent for a long time, thoughts running wild before you spoke.

“What did you mean, I might be the one to bring Anakin back?” You asked quietly, turning to look at Obi-Wan, the man keeping his gaze out the window.

“Please do have some respect for my intelligence, Y/N.” Obi-Wan said softly, a small smile that didn’t meet his eyes pulling at his lips as he turned to look at you. “Do you really believe you and Anakin have been so discreet that I haven’t noticed? Of course I know the two of you are together. I know that he would have left the Order for you had you asked and I know you’d have done the same for him.”

“You never said anything.” You said after a few moments of silence, of course Obi-Wan knew and of course he had never given you away to the Council.

“I care deeply for you both, I only wanted you both to be happy.” Was Obi-Wan’s reply before the ship filled with silence again, a planet could be seen in the distance and you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever awaited you on the fiery planet.

“There he is.” Obi-Wan said once you landed, watching a hooded figure leaving the building and you stood first, stopping Obi-Wan before he could stand.

“Let me talk to him first, please Obi-Wan.” You begged him, eyes wide and watery and Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment, eyes darting out of the window before settling back on you.

“Fine but if anything goes wrong I want you to leave me to deal with it, you get back on the ship.” Obi-Wan said, his tone leaving no room for disagreement and you nodded, not wanting to hurt Anakin.

If it came to it you didn’t envy what Obi-Wan would have to do.

“Good luck, Y/N.” Obi-Wan murmured as he opened the hatch and you made your way off the ship, meeting Anakin as he came down the stairs.

“Y/N!” He called, marching over to you and engulfing you in his arms.

Despite everything you had seen, despite the proof so clearly shown to you, you couldn’t help but sink into his arms, gripping his robes between your fingers and crying silently into his chest. Anakin hushed you, feeling your shoulders shaking against him as he tucked you under his chin, his lips pressed to your head.

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” He whispered into your hair and you shook your head, allowing yourself one more moment, one more moment to memorise the way his arms felt around you, the way he felt so strong and steady and desperately hoped this worked out, that you could have this moment again.

“Anakin, what are you doing here?” You cried as you stepped out of his arms, Anakin’s hands not leaving you as they settled on your forearms. “Tell me none of it is true and I’ll believe you.”

“None of what is true?” He asked, his tone deep and cold, sending a shudder through you.

Deep down you knew all of it to be true but until you heard it from Anakin you could let yourself hope.

“Tell me you didn’t fall to the Dark Side, tell me the death and destruction, the killing of the younglings, tell me none of it was you. Tell me you are not this Darth Vader.” You pleaded with him, watching his eyes go cold as his expression hardened. “Please Anakin, please I’m begging you, tell me it isn’t true.”

“I did this for you, Y/N!” Anakin told you, tightening his grip on you. “Don’t you see that, all of this was for us, for you. The Jedi, they are not to be trusted anymore, now the galaxy belongs to us, Y/N! There’s nothing the Council can do anymore, they can’t take you away from me.”

Your blood turned cold and it felt like your heart had stopped. It was all true, you had known it, but now you couldn’t deny it, couldn’t hope that there was some misunderstanding, some deception. It was all true.

“Anakin,” you sobbed, taking a step back and forcing his hands to drop from your arms. “I don’t want this, I don’t want the galaxy. I just want you, Anakin, that is all I ever wanted.”

“And we can have that. With the Jedi gone we are free, don’t you see it? They were going to take you from me, force us apart but now they can’t.” Anakin told you, trying to make you see reason like you were the one who was being unreasonable. “You’re mine, Y/N! I’d kill anyone that tried to take you from me. I won’t lose you.”

“Whatever the Chancellor has told you, whatever he has filled your head with, it’s all lies!” You told him, desperate to break through, to find that small sliver of Light you hoped to be buried within him somewhere. “It’s all lies, nobody was going to take you away from me, I promise. We had a plan, remember, fight the war side by side and then we would do what we wanted with the rest of our lives. We had victory in our fingertips, Anakin, Grievous is dead, we could have gone anywhere, left the Order behind peacefully.”

“They wouldn’t have let that happen!” Anakin protested and you forced yourself closer to him, cupping his cheek and bringing his forehead down to rest of yours, Anakin’s hands automatically wrapping around your waist.

“Of course they would, Ahsoka left and they let her. We were so close, Anakin, none of this destruction was needed. We could have left.” You told him brokenly, tears still sliding down your face. “Stop this now, stop this madness and we can leave together, just take a ship and leave together, we’ll find our own corner of the galaxy, we don’t need it all.”

Anakin was silent for a moment before he looked behind you and you cursed silently when you heard him mutter Obi-Wan’s name.

“I knew it! They want to tear us apart!” Anakin roared and you took a step closer to him.

Anakin-”

“Don’t, you’re a liar! You would just let them take you from me!” He cried out and you moved back when you felt his anger and rage in the Force, the strength of it almost knocking you down.

“Anakin, I love you, I love you more dearly than anything else. Stop this, please, just stop this. We can leave together, Obi-Wan can tell them you won’t be a problem anymore, all of it can be forgotten.” You knew even as you spoke that your words were a lie, the image of Anakin slaughtering your fellow Jedi, slaughtering dozens of younglings, without a shred of mercy was seared into your head.

It seemed Anakin knew your words were a lie too.

“I did this for you, Y/N! You’re all I wanted, all I ever wanted, I couldn’t let them take you.” He told you again, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you couldn’t see it.

“Don’t put your actions on my head, Anakin. Don’t force me to blame myself for the death of the Jedi, the destruction of the galaxy.” You told him, tone firm but soft. “I never asked for this. I wanted us to fight the Clone Wars, to fight alongside our troops and restore peace in the galaxy and then I wanted to just leave the Order behind us. Nobody would have stopped us. Everything could have been different, Anakin. Why would you walk away from everything we had, from everything we ever spoke and dreamt of?”

“Y/N, I know of their plans, they were never going to let us see each other after the war. I saw it! Just the visions alone were enough to drive me mad, to actually live it, to not have you at my side-”

“Don’t you see, Anakin, none of it was real. The Chancellor, Darth Sidious, whatever he calls himself, he was manipulating you, using any means necessary to get you where he wanted you. Surely you can see it?” You pleaded with him to see sense but knew realistically he was too far gone. “He knows of our love and he is using it for his own gain. Don’t let all those words we said become nothing. I meant everything, did you?”

“You dare question my love for you?” Anakin snarled, one hand raised and suddenly you were in the air with the breath snatched from you.

Obi-Wan finally stepped off the runway, heart breaking at the scene before him. He truly had believed and desperately hoped that you could bring Anakin back but the Anakin he knew would sooner hurt himself than hurt you.

“Admit it, Obi-Wan, you want to take her from me!” Anakin shouted. “I won’t let you.”

“Anakin, don't be foolish. If you truly believe I haven’t known about you and Y/N for years now then I have done my job too well. If I were so against this I have had plenty of opportunities to tell the Council.” Obi-Wan said and that gave Anakin pause but whatever bit of doubt he had quickly left as he shook his head, the Chancellor’s manipulations running too deep.

Your eyes darted to Obi-Wan, panicked and scared, but the other man just gave you a small nod. You desperately hoped Obi-Wan could get you both out of this alive, though with Anakin’s madness, the way the Dark Side seemed to be eating him up, you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about your survival rates.

“Anakin, come with me. All three of us can return to Coruscant, we can fix this. Don’t do something you’ll live to regret here.” Obi-Wan said calmly but it seemed to only anger Anakin.

“You think I’d fall for such a trap, Master?” Anakin spat, the word like venom coming from his tongue and you watched as Obi-Wan let out a small wince, unable to hide it. “I know what fate awaits me if we go with you.”

“Anakin, please listen to him!” You managed to choke out but Anakin only tightened his Force grip on your neck and your fingers scratched at the phantom pressure, your vision dancing with black dots.

“You claim to love her and yet you’re killing her, Anakin!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, lighting his lightsaber and taking a step towards Anakin.

“You truly think you can beat me, Obi-Wan? I have powers you couldn’t even begin to understand. Soon I shall take my rule in my new Empire and Y/N will stand by my side.”

“No, Anakin, she won’t.” The words sent a fresh wave of anger through Anakin and his fist closed tightly.

You felt your airways completely close, lungs burning as you choked, pain spreading throughout your body. It wasn’t until Anakin threw your body aside, painfully hitting the ship that you were left struggling for air, slumping down on the ground and letting your head hit the floor, the sounds of lightsabers hitting against each other the last thing you heard before darkness took over.

You don’t know how much time passed but at some point you felt your body being moved, your eyes flew open and you pushed away from the hands on you, scared Anakin had won. There was no need for it though as Obi-Wan crouched down in front of you, hands raised and you let out a shaky breath.

You let Obi-Wan help you up onto unsteady feet but a groaning from your right had you turning your head, even as Obi-Wan tried to pull your gaze away. You gasped, knees buckling and sobs escaping you as you saw Anakin’s body aflame, broken groans and screams leaving him as he shouted after Obi-Wan, after he saw you standing.

“I’m sorry.” Obi-Wan murmured sadly, tears in his eyes as he pulled you into his arms and led you back towards the ship.

Once you were sat in the seat your eyes immediately found Anakin, the picture before you would forever haunt your waking days as well as your dreams, it would be one that stayed with you forever.

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do now, everything seemed so dark and hopeless. So much of your future had always involved Anakin but now Anakin was dead, left to burn on a fiery planet and you knew the pain would never leave you. You had never thought that what you and Anakin had would break, truly never thought you’d live to see the day, and yet here you were, flying away from him, heart broken so painfully for a future that was so close and lost just like that. 

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You are the Reason

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Requested -  @loving-the-cambridges as part of @cloneficgiftexchange

Prompt - “You are the reason.” & "Don't give up on me."

Notes - I am so sorry this is a week late, I completely got the date of the exchange wrong! Hope you enjoy it!

It was the worst kind of battle, the one where your men lay motionless, scattered all across the battlefield. The battle happening in the air and on the ground meant it was very easy to get overwhelmed and you hadn’t been Anakin’s Padawan for too long before you were suddenly thrust into the centre of the war. 

Anakin kept you close between him and Rex as he focused on the droids coming at you from all directions, knowing how important it was to get to the main base in time to meet Obi-Wan and his own men. 

The air was heavy as you finally caught a moment's break, hiding out in the cave you had come across. The men were exhausted, as were you and Anakin, the break was needed and you sat down heavily next to Rex, letting your head fall onto his shoulder and feeling how the tension in them drain slightly. 

Before anyone could speak the sound of a ship landing not too far outside had you all tensing, Clones made a grab for their weapons as Anakin held a hand up. Seconds later somebody, a Jedi Master, walked into the cave. 

“Skywalker.” He called into the cave, Anakin already moving to the opening with a confused look. 

“Is that Master Kalen?” Rex muttered from above you and you nodded, not moving your head from his shoulder but straining to listen to what was being said. 

“Master Kalen, what are you doing here?” Anakin asked and the Jedi Master gave him a look of distaste. 

“I have come to lead your battalion, you have been requested back in Coruscant, orders from the Chancellor himself.” 

That had you sitting up, turning to look at Rex with furrowed eyebrows and Rex looked equally as confused. Rex stood up first, holding a hand out to help you up before the two of you made your way over to Anakin and Kalen. 

“I can’t just leave my men! I’m in the middle of a mission!” Anakin protested, taking a step towards Kalen who rolled his eyes at the outburst. 

“You’re more than welcome to take it up with the Chancellor, Skywalker. I am here to relieve you, this mission will be completed.” Kalen told him, his tone cold and almost robotic- actually scrap that you were sure you’d heard more emotion from C3-PO than you had Kalen. 

“Fine,” Anakin relented, turning to see you and Rex behind him. “Master Kalen, this is Rex, he’s my first in command, you won’t find a better Captain.” Anakin said and you watched a small smile twitch at Rex’s lips before he pushed it away and nodded towards Kalen. 

“Come on, Y/N.” Anakin said, gesturing for you to follow him and as glad as you were for the chance to leave the planet, another part of you didn’t want to leave Rex behind.

“Only your presence was requested back in Coruscant, Skywalker. The Padawan can stay with me.” Your eyes widened as Anakin turned to look at you, clearly ready to protest but Kalen cut him off. “The Padawan stays, you should leave.” 

Kalen walked further into the cave leaving you, Rex and Anakin alone with no room to protest. 

“Please don’t leave us with him, Master.” You pleaded and Anakin gave you an amused smile though his eyes flickered over to Kalen wearily. 

“He seems like a real piece of work, I’ll give you that.” Anakin murmured, soft enough not to travel through the cave, before he turned to Rex. “Just stick to the plan, ok? It won’t be easy but you have to get to Obi-Wan.”

“Don’t worry, Sir, we’ve got this.” Rex nodded and you smiled reassuringly at him. 

“I know you do.” Anakin said softly before reaching over and resting his hand on your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. “Stay with Rex, alright?”

“That won’t be a problem.” You grinned at him causing Anakin to roll his eyes but there was no heat behind it. He knew you and Rex had something going on, he didn’t know the full extent and quite frankly he didn’t want to know exactly what his Padawan and Captain were getting up to but who was he to put a stop to it? It would be hypocritical of the secretly married Jedi. 

“I’m sure it won’t.” He replied dryly, watching as Rex averted his glance and your grin widened. “I’ll see you soon, stay safe.”

With that Anakin left the cave and you heard the sound of the ship leaving.

“Get ready to move out.” Master Kalen’s voice rang out through the cave and you frowned, turning to Rex who looked at you questioningly. Through the Force you could feel the general confusion from the men as you looked over at the Jedi Master.

“Sir, the men need to rest.” Rex said as he took a step over to Kalen, the Jedi towering over him as he puffed his chest out and gave Rex the same look you would give something you’d trod in.

“I don’t believe I asked for your opinion, CT-7567.” He told Rex and you stared openly at Kalen, watching as Rex’s shoulders tensed up.

You stepped closer to the Jedi Master, mouth already open but Rex put a subtle hand on your back, out of view of Kalen and shook his head. Rumours of Kalen had spread quickly amongst the men since the war had started, it was no secret he was a harsh man and his treatment towards clones was nothing short of cruel, going through his own at a suspicious rate. Rex knew that no amount of arguing was getting through to this man, not from a clone or a padawan.

You glared at the Jedi’s back as the tired men left the safety of the cave and headed back out into the dangerous terrain, the darkness having fully settled causing everyone to struggle to see ahead. The men tried their hardest to stay alert but the exhaustion had gotten to everyone, everyone except Kalen who marched ahead at the front of the group, leaving you and Rex walking behind everyone, shoulders brushing with each step.

“He shouldn’t speak to you like that.” You muttered angrily, missing the way Rex’s lips pulled into a smile despite how much he agreed, it was nice having somebody feel angry for him, it was nice that it was you that was angry for him.

For months you and Rex had gravitated towards each other, both letting yourselves fall into something that could never truly be defined, both knowing that your feelings weren’t allowed and yet both letting it happen anyway. 

Neither of you had spoken about it, whether it was because you were scared speaking about it would shatter everything or just because whatever this was didn’t need speaking about, maybe it was a mixture of both but the two of you were happy, the war had been long and taxing, draining everyone of everything and to find a bright spot in all that darkness, who were either of you to deny yourselves of it?

“Don’t smile.” You glared at Rex when you looked over at him, no real heat in the action as you nudged your shoulder into his drawing a chuckle from the man. 

“He’ll be gone soon,” Rex promised, taking your hand in his and brushing his thumb against your skin in an attempt to soothe you, watching as the motion caused some of the tension to slip away from your body. “It’s just one mission, what could go wrong?”

He regretted the question as soon as he asked it and he regretted it two days later as he led his exhausted battalion into battle, mind completely foggy and his whole body drained, his men in the same state. 

He could see all of them were sloppy, none of them were as alert as they should have been as they went up against a battalion more than triple their size of battle droids. Rex felt his stomach churn as he looked around at the injured and dead men he was entrusted to lead, felt fury within himself as he looked at Kalen who was more than happy to sit back and watch as the clones fought the battle.

Rex was struggling to keep his attention on the battle but he struggled even more to keep track of you. Usually the two of you never strayed far from each other, oftentimes finding yourselves fighting back to back with each other but today the men were stretched too thin so whilst Rex covered one side you were too far away for comfort fighting the other side of the opening where the Separatists had ambushed you.

The battle lasted for hours, those who had managed to come out alive were bloody and beaten, hours before they had thought it was impossible to be more drained than they were but this battle had left them completely devoid of any strength they had left.

Rex let his blaster fall to the floor, leaning against a tree and let his eyes fall shut, his body feeling too heavy to do anything more than just stand there. It had been a long time since they’d had a battle this bad, not since their early days fresh off Kamino. He couldn’t stand the thought of having to go through all of his men, knowing too many had been lost.

The only thing he wanted right now was you. 

Just as he was about to force his tired body to move he heard somebody running against the leaves on the ground, wondering which of his men had managed to find the energy for anything but slumping down in silence.

“Captain!” Echo called, stopping to catch his breath as Rex opened his eyes and saw the man completely pale and his hands shook but it was his eyes that had Rex on alert, they were wide and scared in a way Rex hadn’t seen from Echo.

“Rex,” The man breathed out softly and that was enough for Rex to stand to attention, “it’s Y/N.”

Rex didn’t need to hear anything else, Echo’s tone along with his expression told Rex enough and he felt his heart shatter and speed up at the same time, letting Echo lead the way as he raced to your side, stopping in his tracks when he saw the amount of blood pouring from a wound near your ribs.

“No.” He breathed out, his body moving on autopilot as he lowered himself down next to you.

You forced your eyes to open, smiling tiredly up at Rex as he sat with you, gently pulling you against his chest, his head against yours and his arms wrapping around you as he watched Kix apply more pressure to the wound.

“I’m okay.” You whispered, listening to his watery laugh as all the evidence before him told him that was an obvious lie. 

“Don’t do this to me.” He pleaded softly, silent tears already trailing down his cheeks. “Don’t give up on me.”

“Never giving up on you, Rex.” You murmured, a smile on your face as you leaned your head back to look at him, watching as he forced a shaky smile onto his face. 

“You’ll be okay.” Rex told you, the words meant more for himself than you and he tried desperately to convince himself that this could be fixed, it had to be, Rex couldn’t do this without you.

“You’ll be okay, too.” You whispered back to him, Rex’s face crumbling as he lost composure at your words. “Knowing you, loving you has been the best experience of my life.”

Rex bit back a sob of desperation at your choked out words, watching as you struggled to force them out but you knew if Kix’s couldn’t get the bleeding under control, if Obi-Wan didn’t get here in time, you knew Rex needed something to hold onto after you were gone.

“You are the reason, you are the reason I can find good in the galaxy, you are the good in this galaxy. Don’t lose that.” You coughed and Rex choked on a sob as a small stream of blood trickled down your chin. “You are the reason I know how to love and know how it feels to be loved and I have loved you every day, Rex, I have loved you every day I have known you.”

Rex nodded, tears streaming down his face mirroring yours and he kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger there as he whispered his own words back to you.

“I love you. I love you so much, please don’t do this, Y/N, don’t do this to me.” He begged and pleaded but he knew there was nothing that could be done, he watched out of the corner of his eye as Kix glared down at your wound in defeat, he saw the faces of his men watching with heartbroken expressions as their Captain lost the love of his life, he watched as your eyes drifted closed and didn’t open again.

Rex let his own eyes fall closed, cries of true loss and heartbreak filled the quiet scene and Rex was unable to focus on anything but you in his arms, completely blocking out his surroundings.

He missed as the men around him parted, he missed as Obi-Wan crouched down next to the two of you, gently nudging Kix out of the way as he placed his hand on your wound. He had never been particularly good at Force healing but he called upon the Force and silently begged and pleaded with it to save his Padawan, in title you might have been Anakin’s but everyone knew you were both of theirs, they both trained you, both offered you a shoulder to lean on, both needed you as you needed them.

Rex gasped when he felt a hand on his cheek, eyes flying open to stare at you, colour coming back to your face as you sat up with a wince to face him. His gaze strayed behind you for a moment, watching as Obi-Wan knelt back against his heels and smiled softly at the scene in front of him.

“Cyar’ika,” He breathed out, resting his forehead on yours and watching as you smiled at him with so much love in your eyes. “Thank the stars.”

You laughed softly and cupped his cheek, closing the distance between the two of you and finally kissed him. The kiss was soft and slow but Rex felt more alive than he had ever felt as he pulled you closer, kissing you until the need to breathe was too much.

“Never do that to me again.” Rex ordered and you couldn’t help but laugh again as you kissed him again.

“Yes Captain.” You grinned, watching as Rex fondly rolled his eyes and pulled you against him, mindful of your aching body but needing to hold you, needing to know you were going to be okay and he still had an entire lifetime with you, that you hadn’t been snatched away from him before he even had a chance to tell you that you were his reason too.

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