Who Do I Write For?

Who Do I Write For?

Reuploaded with new fandoms and characters!

Click here for my masterlist.

The only prompt list I have right now is my Taylor Swift one (Click here to see what songs are free!) so if you a certain character and song gives you inspo for them just send me a message!

If you have any of your own ideas message me too and I'll see what I can come up with! If there's a fandom you like on here but not the character just ask about them and I'll see if I'm up for trying a new person!

You can use the link in my bio to add yourself to the tag list!🤎

Marvel -

- Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker

- Tom Holland's Peter Parker

- Tony Stark

- Bucky Barnes

- Winter Soldier

- Loki

- Clint Barton

- Kate Bishop

- Yelena Belova

- Natasha Romanoff

- Steven Grant

- Marc Spector

- Jake Lockley

- Matt Murdock

- Frank Castle

- Jessica Jones

- Eddie Brock

- Logan Howlett (Wolverine)

- Charles Xavier

- Erik Lehnsherr

- Peter Maximoff

Star Wars -

- Obi-Wan Kenobi

- Anakin Skywalker

- Commander Cody

- Captain Rex

- Darth Vader

- Hunter

- Wrecker

- Crosshair

- Tech

- Echo

- Cassian Andor

- Han Solo

- Luke Skywalker

- Leia Organa

- Din Djarin

- Cobb Vanth

- Poe Dameron

The Last of Us -

- Joel Miller

- Ellie Williams

Doctor Who -

- 9th Doctor

- 10th Doctor

- 11th Doctor

- Rose Tyler

- Clara Oswald

9-1-1 -

- Evan 'Buck' Buckley

- Eddie Diaz

- Owen Strand

Narcos -

- Javier Peña

The Walking Dead -

- Daryl Dixon

- Negan

- Rick Grimes

Harry Potter -

- James Potter

- Sirius Black

- Remus Lupin

- Harry Potter

- Fred Weasley

- Draco Malfoy

- Newt Scamander

Criminal Minds -

- Spencer Reid

- Aaron Hotchner

- Luke Alvez

- Derek Morgan

- Emily Prentiss

House -

- Gregory House

- James Wilson

- Robert Chase

Miscellaneous Characters -

- Merlin

- Arthur Pendragon

(Probably forgetting some people, so don't be afraid to ask for other characters!)

Never Grow Up

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘Your little hand’s wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight.’

Requested - Yes - Anon

You hadn’t been entirely sure what was happening, one minute you were fighting back to back with Commander Grazer, a dozen more clones fighting around you until the droid army was in pieces. It had been a long battle and you were panting by the end of it, exhausted and desperately praying that Obi-Wan was winning his own battle on Utapau.

When you turned around to check on your men you froze as you came face to face with a blaster and Commander Grazer’s face showing his conflicting emotions as his arm shook slightly. You had just been about to open your mouth when you glanced around and saw the others all had their guns upright and steadily pointed directly at you.

“What is this?” You asked as you reignited your lightsaber, not wanting to use it against the men under your command.

“Execute Order 66!” Commander Grazer said and suddenly there were blaster shots being fired at you from every direction, you just about managed to jump out of the way, using the Force to push the clones aside as you used your lightsaber to deflect as many shots as you could.

The ships were a good few klicks away and you had a full battalion following after you as you darted away from their shots, desperately trying not to get hit. It didn’t help that the planet’s terrain was steep and uneven, full of hills and cliffs.

One of the clones managed to get close enough to try and grab you but when you pushed back, using the Force to push him away you ended up sending yourself tumbling down one of the deep hills, wincing as you felt sharp rocks slicing your robe, some deep enough to pierce your skin.

By the time you had stopped falling your hands were cut, bruises would definitely form and you could feel blood sticking to your shirt. You didn’t have time to stop though, blaster shots were still coming from above and you could see the clones making their way down towards you.

As you ran towards the ships you pressed at your comm but it had taken a hit during your fall and there was no way to get in touch with anybody to see what was happening. You couldn’t even fathom what was happening, these clones, those men had become more than just soldiers under your command, they had turned into friends, family, you fought side by side with them every day. For them to just turn so suddenly didn’t make sense.

You ran until your sides hurt, until the cuts and bruises ached painfully and your feet begged for a break, you pressed on and eventually saw the ships in the distance. The clones were still behind you but you had put a fair bit of distance between you and them, twisting and turning here and there, but every so often a blaster bolt would shoot past you forcing you to run faster.

By the time you actually got to the ships you felt about ready to pass out, the battle that had tired you out to begin with felt like it had happened in another lifetime. You knew you had less than a minute to get on a ship and off the planet before the clones were in their own ships trying to shoot you down.

Somehow you managed it though, jumping into hyperspace just as the clones came into view. You had quickly typed in the coordinates for Coruscant but once you were in hyperspace you figured that might not be the best plan, you weren’t sure just how widespread this thing was with the clones since your comm had broken.

You pressed a few more buttons on the ship before a voice came through, a voice you recognised well and had you sighing in relief to hear but then you registered his words and felt your blood turn cold.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple.”

The Jedi Order had fallen along with the Republic? How could that possibly be the case when just hours before you and Obi-Wan had parted ways with every intent to have the war finished when you saw each other again.

You keyed in Obi-Wan’s private comm number and felt your fear worsen when there was no reply after more than a dozen attempts to contact him. You prayed to the Force he was safe, you knew to get his message out he would have to have gone back to the Temple. Your mind kept trying to conjure every scenario, every bad thing that could have happened to Obi-Wan but you tried to do as he instructed, you had to trust in the Force.

You were still heading toward Coruscant and knew that you had to change course, you were still a few days out but didn’t want to be anywhere near the planet, it was too dangerous. You needed a new destination but had no idea where was safe.

You wanted Obi-Wan.

With Obi-Wan not answering his comm you moved onto other people who might know something. Anakin was your next call but you had a bad feeling, he had been on Coruscant and whatever had happened with the clones with you it was clearly happening on Coruscant too and when Anakin didn’t answer you tried desperately to shut your mind off. You tried Padmé after that, she was also on Coruscant but she would have been rushed away from the danger and yet she too failed to answer.

You felt sick to your stomach, whatever was happening on Coruscant must have been deadly, the Empire had taken over and you just hoped your friends were safe.

You tried one more person, praying and begging with the Force to let this call connect because you didn’t know what you were supposed to do if it didn’t.

“Y/N?” A voice exclaimed startling you back to reality, eyes snapping open to look at the holo in front of you. “You’re alive!”

“Bail.” You breathed out, tears stinging your eyes and you barely choked back a sob at finally getting through to somebody. “Thank the Force, I tried everyone but nobody is answering. What’s going on?”

Bail looked down, a grief stricken look on his face that had you even further on edge. You weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer.

“How much do you know?” He asked you instead of answering your question, he wasn’t quite sure he could tell you.

“I got Obi-Wan’s message.” You told him after taking a deep breath, your mind still running wild and Bail’s avoidance didn’t help. “I know the Order and the Republic have fallen, I know the clones have turned against us.”

“Yes.” Bail sighed and he looked back up at you looking older than you’d ever seen him before. “That is the basics of what has happened. Where are you now? If you got Obi-Wan’s message you know you mustn’t return to Coruscant.”

You nodded but didn’t answer him, staying silent for a minute as you played with the ring on your finger. It wasn’t really allowed, possessions weren’t a thing the Jedi had but nobody had ever brought it up and it had been a gift from Obi-Wan, one that you never wanted to part with.

You knew you had to ask, knew you had to know but you hated that with one little question you could suddenly be in a galaxy without Obi-Wan. You took a shaky breath, a tear falling down your cheek as you looked at Bail.

“Obi-Wan,” You managed to choke out, pausing to swallow around the lump in your throat as more tears slid from your eyes. “Obi-Wan, is he-”

You couldn’t force yourself to say the word, refused to even speak it into existence. The sympathetic look Bail wore did nothing to help the devastation running through you. You couldn’t imagine a galaxy without Obi-Wan, you’d known him your whole life. As a Jedi you had been taken to the Temple at a young age and you didn’t remember a time before that, Obi-Wan had already been there when you arrived and the two of you had been inseparable ever since.

It might’ve been against the Jedi code but you didn’t care, you knew you loved him even if you could ignore it most days.

He couldn’t be gone, he just couldn’t be, not Obi-Wan. A galaxy without Obi-Wan was not one you wanted to be in.

“He’s alive, Y/N.” Bail told you, forcing his voice to be steady even as his face softened as you broke out into relieved sobs, when he hadn’t answered your calls you’d assumed the worst but he was alive.

“Where is he?” You asked and Bail didn’t hesitate to tell you he had travelled to Tatooine and he was staying there, he sent the coordinates over to you and you quickly changed the destination and turned back to Bail.

“Thank you, Bail. If you ever need anything you know where to find me.” You told him sincerely. You had known Bail for years, becoming close friends with both him and Breha and you were beyond relieved to see he was unharmed.

“Likewise, Y/N. Stay safe and…keep an eye on Obi-Wan, he’s going to need all the support he can get.” Bail told you and you frowned, something about his tone telling you whatever was happening with Obi-Wan went deeper than the fall of the Order and the Republic.

“I’ll always look after Obi-Wan.” You told him, watching as a smile spread across his face and he nodded, knowing full well that you and Obi-Wan loved each other and would die before letting the other get hurt. “Stay safe, Bail.”

It was still a two day journey to Tatooine and your mind ran wild in those days. Bail hadn’t told you anything more than what Obi-Wan’s message warned about so until you were reunited with Obi-Wan you were left with the most dreadful thoughts. During your journey you didn’t sleep, the one time you managed to drift off your dreams were plagued with screams and death and you forced yourself to stay awake as you flew through hyperspace.

You finally arrived on Tatooine, following the coordinates given to you by Bail and felt a wave of relief rush through you when you saw a small shack in the middle of nowhere, far enough away that nobody would stumble across it but close enough that Obi-Wan could travel out for supplies when needed.

When you landed the ship you had to take a moment to just sit back in the seat and let out a shaky breath as you stared at the shack, even though you had been told Obi-Wan was alive and safe, you knew you wouldn’t truly believe it until you saw the man, so with another deep breath you pulled yourself together and headed off the ship.

Obi-Wan had heard the ship and he was proud that his wave of panic only lasted a minute before he reached out and felt your Force signature. Once he had pushed aside his fear he felt his heart speed back up for a different reason, you were alive. He had truly thought that after days of not hearing from you that something had happened, that you hadn’t been able to fight the clones off.

With Luke still in his arms, awake and content to be held, he made his way outside and watched as the ship's door opened and you walked down the ramp. You looked worse for wear, clearly injured, robes torn and muddied but none of that mattered, you were alive, that was the most important thing.

He walked to meet you halfway, noticing the exact moment your eyes widened as you took note of Luke in his arms, it seemed Bail hadn’t shared everything with you. When you finally reached him your eyes moved from Luke to look in Obi-Wan’s.

“Is that…” You went to ask, trailing off as your eyes fell back to Luke.

“Y/N, meet Luke Skywalker.” Obi-Wan said softly and your gaze snapped back to him, eyes wide and watery as you tried to keep the tears where they were but it was no use, once one leaked over the rest followed. “Would you like to hold him?”          

You opened your mouth to say something but the words clearly died on your tongue as it fell back shut and instead you gave him a shaky nod. Obi-Wan smiled as he carefully transferred the baby to you, guiding your hand to hold his head properly and then just watched as you looked down at Luke with a mix of emotions playing out on your face.

Your hand came up to gently run along the baby’s cheek before you let out a choked sob when Luke’s tiny hand came up to wrap around your finger. You looked back to Obi-Wan and saw tears welling up in his own eyes as he stepped closer, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest as he placed a gentle kiss to your hair and looked down at you and Luke, so thankful that he had something good left after all that had been lost.

Not much later you and Obi-Wan were settled on the sofa, you tucked against Obi-Wan and Luke cradled in your arms. Given the past few days, the fighting, the overwhelming emotions, the pain and suffering, the dragging yourself off the ground when all you wanted to do was give up, this small part of Tatooine, this quiet corner of the planet Obi-Wan had picked out felt so quiet compared to how loud the rest of the galaxy seemed.

Your gaze was on Luke, heart equal parts full of love for the child and pain for what had become of his parents. You hadn’t had the full story yet, Obi-Wan hadn’t said much and you were content with the silence for now but you knew nothing good could have happened if Obi-Wan had Luke.

Eventually the baby’s eyes closed and began to flutter as he fell asleep in your arms and a small smile tugged at your lips as you stood up and carefully walked over to the small crib Obi-Wan had set up, tucking Luke in and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead before joining Obi-Wan back on the sofa.

In the short amount of time it had taken you to put Luke to bed Obi-Wan had gotten up to get supplies to patch you up. Most of the injuries were cuts and bruises, nothing too serious and most of them had closed up after your long travels.

“Will you tell me what happened?” You asked softly, wincing as Obi-Wan gently ran a wet cloth over a long cut on the side of your stomach.

Obi-Wan was silent for long enough that you resigned yourself to not knowing but then he sighed, a deep, heavy, tired sigh before starting at the beginning with the battle on Utapau right up until giving Leia over to Bail and leaving them behind to bring Luke to Tatooine.

By the end of it you were all patched up and tears fell down both your cheeks. You felt even more exhausted after hearing everything, heartbroken as you cried for everything that had been lost. How had things gone so wrong in the span of just a few days?

Obi-Wan looked drained and when he suggested retiring for the night you didn’t hesitate to agree, letting him pull you from the sofa and into the small bedroom. That night neither of you got much sleep despite feeling more exhausted than you could ever remember being, both of you curled against each other as your thoughts played through the last few days.

For a long while things were tense, the weight of the fall sat heavily on both your shoulders, knowing that the organisation you had dedicated your lives to and the only home either of you had ever known was gone like it had never been there, it was a lot to come to terms with.

Luke seemed to grow more and more every day until he was a small boy who began resembling another little boy you had once known although that felt like another lifetime ago.

You knew Obi-Wan had bad days, days where he excused himself to the nearest town because looking at Luke hurt, you know he hated himself for it no matter what you said to try and convince him that it made sense. You got it too, sometimes you looked at him and saw a glimpse of Padmé’s smile, sometimes the resemblance to Anakin was too much for you too.

Things did get easier though, eventually the hurt of losing the Order faded into something easier to live with, the pain of losing Padmé and Anakin had become a part of you and all you could do was keep their memory alive.

“I wish he could stay this little.” You murmured as Luke cuddled into you, squashed between you and Obi-Wan on the sofa, eyes closed as Obi-Wan finished reading a story to him.  

“I know what you mean.” Obi-Wan smiled as he looked down at Luke, the boy hadn’t long since turned five but Obi-Wan could still remember how he had cradled the small baby against his chest like it was only yesterday.

For years during your time in the Order you and Obi-Wan had always known you were special to each other, it was different to how you were friends with the other younglings, you and Obi-Wan had been inseparable from day one. Both of you were loyal to the Order and followed the code even if it did mean you couldn’t have the other.

Now there was no code, there was no Order for you to be loyal to. All that was left was this small patch of land on Tatooine and each other. You had already been here for five years, five years that seemed to have flown by in the blink of an eye and had let yourself fall more and more in love with him now that there was nothing stopping you.

You and Obi-Wan had never mentioned it, never defined it but you didn’t have to, you both knew it was love. Waking up next to each other every morning, moving in sync with each other as you cooked, Obi-Wan watching with a soft smile as you and Luke danced around his room whilst getting him ready for the day, the lingering touches, the way you got to fall asleep curled against each other, it was all love.

“Sometimes I wish we could give him more though, a life beyond this shack, one where he could go to school, one where he could make friends.” Obi-Wan sighed, letting his head fall to the side so he could look back at you, you who were smiling at him with such a softness to it.

“Careful what you wish for, Obi-Wan,” You chuckled, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from his face. “Before we know it he’ll be sneaking off into town and wanting to move out and go on his own adventures. Besides, I quite like our little shack in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yes, I suppose our small corner of the galaxy isn’t so bad.” Obi-Wan’s smile widened at your laugh, letting himself lean into your touch causing you to trail your fingers down his cheek and letting your thumb brush across his beard.

Obi-Wan had been a good Jedi, he had followed the code despite how many times he had thought about you in ways that would have seen him thrown out. But five years had passed by since everything had changed and he couldn’t remember what he was holding on to anymore.

It was the easiest thing in the world to lean across, careful not to jostle Luke too much as he did, and press his lips to yours, enjoying the little muffled surprised noise you made against his lips as he kissed you softly, your hand curling around his jaw as you pulled him closer, both of you knowing in that moment that this was right, that the two of you belonged to each other.

“He’s not mad at you.” You told Luke softly as you sat down on the sand next to him, smiling softly as he lifted the toy ship Obi-Wan had gotten for him in the air and flew it around half-heartedly.

“Yes he is.” Luke mumbled, refusing to look at you as he spoke.

It had only been a few years and somehow your life had changed so much. You’d gone from relationships being forbidden to freely and openly loving Obi-Wan, overjoyed with the fact you could kiss him whenever you wanted, with the way you could tell him that you loved him as many times as you wanted.

You and Obi-Wan had been raising Luke for nine years now, the little boy next to you the same age his dad had been when you first met him and the resemblance made you choke up some days, especially when he started showing an interest in the ship you’d brought to Tatooine all those years back, wanting to know everything about it and begged you to let him fly it.

Neither you nor Obi-Wan had left the planet since arriving, that was until today of course. When you and Obi-Wan heard another ship landing outside your hand flew to your lightsaber, Obi-Wan had long since got rid of his and instead reached for a blaster that still seemed odd for him to have even after so long of him owning it.

Obi-Wan had told you to stay in the house with Luke, the little boy having no reason to fear whoever had landed and instead was curious, trying to peer through the windows. As Obi-Wan exited the little shack you joined Luke and stayed where you were for all of thirty seconds before you saw the person who walked off the ship.

You were out of the door and past Obi-Wan before he himself had a chance to see who had arrived and he watched as you wrapped your arms around the figure, barely catching Luke as he ran after you, most likely wanting to see the new ship rather than the new person.

“Bail!” You exclaimed as you pulled out of the hug, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Y/N, Obi-Wan.” Bail smiled before looking down, Luke suddenly shy and clinging to Obi-Wan’s pants. “And this must be Luke.”

“Not that it isn’t good to see you, Bail,” Obi-Wan said and you shot him a look, sure it didn’t bode well that Bail had showed up on Tatooine for the first time since you’d arrive but he didn’t have to jump straight into it, he could at least invite him into the house first. “But you wouldn’t be here unless something had happened.”

“I’m afraid you’re right. I need your help, Obi-Wan.” Bail said and you could see the exact moment Obi-Wan shut himself off, already shaking his head and not letting Bail continue before he cut him off.

“No. Whatever it is you can handle, I won’t get involved again. I have my own family to take care of.” Obi-Wan told him firmly, Bail frowning as he nodded, his eyes falling down to Luke before he sighed.

“And a fine job you’ve done it seems but I’m afraid I have to ask anyway, you know I wouldn’t but…”

“What is it Bail?” You asked him softly, seeing the fear he was trying to hide.

“It’s Leia.” Was all Bail said and it was enough for Obi-Wan to gesture to the house, all of you sitting around the small dining table as you sent a pouting Luke off to play in his room.

“You’ll be safe, won’t you?” You asked Obi-Wan, Bail had left not too long ago after Obi-Wan agreed to go and find Leia.

“There is no need to worry, my love, I will get the girl and be back home before you know it.” Obi-Wan assured, pulling you into his arms and letting his lips linger against your forehead.

“I wish I could come with you.” You sighed and Obi-Wan chuckled softly as he looked down at you.

“I’d rather you were here where I know you’re safe. Besides, somebody needs to watch over Luke.” Obi-Wan told you, grinning at the huff you let out.

“Yeah, yeah Kenobi, you go on your little adventure and I'll stay home and watch the kid pout about not being able to fly around the galaxy with his Uncle.” You grumbled with no real heat behind it, unable to stop a smile tugging at your lips as Obi-Wan laughed before pulling you into a kiss.

Luke had refused to say goodbye to Obi-Wan, instead he only glared at the ship as he watched it disappear from view before walking away, sitting a short distance from the house.

“I know you want to explore the galaxy but you know it’s not safe out there right now.” You told him and watched as he rolled his eyes.

Generally Luke was the sweetest child you’d ever met, so polite and well behaved but the one argument that always came up was Luke wanting to explore the galaxy. He had loved your ship for as long as you could remember, most days you could find him at the wheel, stirring it this way and that, or tinkering away on something that definitely hadn’t needed fixing before he started.

“You and Uncle Obi always say that!” He exclaimed and you felt your heart ache for him.

For years you had fought in the Clone Wars, for years you had battled Separatists and Sith and it was all for them, for the kids like Luke who would get to grow up only knowing the new galaxy you had fought for and not the one plagued with darkness.

Of course all that fighting had amounted to nothing, all the lives lost and hearts shattered, the thinking you were so close to victory only to have it snatched out of your grasp by a plot put together before the war had even began.

“I know we do,” you told him quietly, thoughts so far away on a life that felt like it had been lived a million years ago. “Luke I wish you could, I really do, we wanted the galaxy to be safe but it’s not, I’m sorry.”

“We can make it better!” Luke declared and you laughed even as your vision became blurred with tears, Maker you were tired.

There was no better, how could there be with the Jedi gone and only darkness left. You had given everything you had and it had ended with you at the end of blasters held by men you cared so deeply for. You were tired, the war had taken so much from everyone, you weren’t sure you could do it again.

“You’re growing up too fast.” You told him, reaching over to ruffle his hair and feeling lighter when he laughed but didn’t push you away.

“One day I’m gonna grow up and be the best pilot in the whole galaxy!” Luke told you and you desperately tried to blink away the sting of more tears because you had known the best pilot in the whole galaxy and you had no doubt that had things been different him and Luke would have made one hell of a team.

You didn’t say anything though, just pulled Luke into your arms and this time Luke didn’t fuss like he usually did, telling you he was too old to sit in your lap anymore. The kid was so aware of everyone else’s emotions all the time and seemed to know you just needed to hold him tight against you for a moment.

“He’s alive?” You exclaimed, days had passed and Luke had long since gone to bed by the time you heard the ship land. “Wait, is that why Leia was taken, does he know about them? Are they safe?”

“He doesn’t know, he has no idea who Leia is to him and he certainly has no idea that Luke exists.” Obi-Wan told you calmly after telling you what had happened on his mission to rescue and return Leia. “Nobody is going to hurt him.”

“Force, I can’t believe he’s alive.” You said, sitting down next to Obi-Wan, the man not hesitating to pull you into him after so long apart. “And you’re sure it’s safe for us to stay here?”

“I promise, if I didn’t think it was, I would move us immediately.” Obi-Wan assured you, kissing the top of your head as you let out a shaky breath, nodding against his chest as you let yourself calm down after hearing his story.

“How is Leia?” You asked after a few moments of silence, turning up to look at him and watching as a soft smile pulled at his lips.

“She is quite possibly the bravest little girl I’ve ever met. Considering she has no idea who her biological parents are she is so much like both of them, a stubborn, passionate, kind hearted little thing, ready to take on the galaxy.”

“She sounds like a certain little boy I know who’s been missing his Uncle.” You smiled up at him, “Luke thinks there’s hope for the galaxy, that it can be made better.”

“It seems such an impossible thought, doesn’t it?” Obi-Wan murmured and you nodded again, your fingers playing with his. “It can’t stay like this forever though.”

“I’m not so sure I could handle another war, even then we had the numbers only because of the clones, now what is there? A few people willing to rebel, I wish them all the luck in the galaxy but we tried once.” You sighed, the war seemed a lifetime ago and yet you could still remember how drained you were by the end of it.

“Sometimes a few rebels is all the galaxy needs, maybe not to win the war but to light the spark in others.” Obi-Wan told you, you humming softly before leaning up to close the distance between you with a soft kiss.

“I’m glad you’re back home.” You whispered against his lips.

“Me too, my love.” Obi-Wan murmured before leaning back in to press his lips to yours.

More time passed and before you knew it Luke was so grown up, grown up and even more eager to get out into the galaxy. You and Obi-Wan knew it had only gotten worse, sure people had tried to fight against the Empire but nothing worked, the galaxy only got darker.

Unfortunately you knew you couldn’t keep Luke on Tatooine forever, one day he would leave, the boy was too eager, too kind hearted to leave the galaxy as it was. He had so much fight and so much good in him, not only that but he was also strong in the Force. Obi-Wan and you had been teaching him the ways of the Jedi not too long after Obi-Wan had helped Leia, knowing the boy had already shown signs of being able to use the Force and wanting him to be trained in case something ever did happen, even if it did hurt to see Anakin’s old lightsaber again after so long.

Luke didn’t get the chance to argue again about going out into the galaxy, not when something new came along to drag you out of your safe space on Tatooine.

You and Obi-Wan had made a run into town, leaving Luke alone at the house, not that he stayed there of course. Once you and Obi-Wan left Luke found himself wandering around outside until he made his way onto the ship.

He had always felt at home on the ship you had brought with you, he dreamed of flying and though he loved his life on Tatooine with you and Obi-Wan he couldn’t help but want more. He had listened to the stories from both of you growing up, the tales from the war, the adventures you had had together. He wanted that, he knew he was meant for more.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard a crash near the house and he leaned forward in his seat to look out of the window, not seeing anything for a moment and then suddenly two droids came into view.

“Droids?” Luke murmured to himself, pulling himself off the seat and making his way off the ship, the droids spotting him immediately and the R2 unit zooming over to him whereas the other just mumbled to itself.

The R2 unit beeped at him and Luke frowned as he watched the unit crash into his legs.

“Whoa, hey there buddy, what’re you two doing so far out here?” Luke asked them both and the R2 beeped wildly at him again.

“You’ll have to forgive my small friend, he seems to think he’s on an important mission when really we barely escaped with our lives from the Empire.” The other droid told him and Luke’s eyes widened.

“The Empire? You know about the rebellion?” He asked with a grin on his face and the droid nodded.

“Of course, me and R2-D2 here are more than familiar with the rebellion.” The droid said, sounding as exasperated as a droid could.

“Yeah you two do look a bit banged up. You want me to patch you up, buddy?” He asked R2 and the droid beeped again like he was excited causing Luke to laugh. “Alright then, come up onto the ship, that’s where my Aunt keeps the tools.”

The three of them made their way onto the ship and Luke knew when you and Obi-Wan got back you were going to kill him but he couldn’t help it, he loved tinkering with the scraps you brought home from market, now he had the chance to patch up real droids, ones who knew about the rebellion no less.

“What did you say your name was?” Luke asked as he crouched down in front of R2 and got to work on him.

“Oh I didn’t sir but I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations.” C-3PO introduced himself as he settled against the wall and watched as Luke worked.

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Luke.” He smiled at them, grunting as he tried to get something that was jammed in R2 unstuck. “You’ve got something jammed good in there buddy, let me just-”

Luke was cut out as he was shocked by the R2 unit before a holo started playing, Luke looking towards the girl as her voice filled the ship.

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” The girl pleaded and Luke frowned as he turned to the droids.

“What’s this?” He asked as the holo continued to play. “Who is that girl, why is she asking for help?”

His frown deepened as both of the droids shrugged it off as old footage, he couldn’t help but think they were lying to him. He didn’t know what reason they’d have to lie but two droids suddenly appearing and looking for Obi-Wan was strange.

“R2 says it is a private message for Obi-Wan Kenobi, he refuses to tell you anything unfortunately, sir.” C-3PO finally said after talking with R2 and Luke frowned before his face lit up.

“If you’re looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi I can take you right to him!” Luke said as he stood up.

“You know Obi-Wan Kenobi, sir?” C-3PO asked and Luke nodded excitedly, gesturing for the droids to follow him.

“Of course, Obi-Wan is my uncle, him and my aunt should still be in town, I can take you to him!” Luke grinned and the three of them made their way towards the town. It was a fair trek away from their house but it didn’t take awfully long to get there.

He had been to the town only a few times and each time he went he was never allowed to wander off despite being so curious about everything. This was the first time in his whole life he’d been by himself and he knew once the two of you saw him he’d be done for.

It was worth it though, the small thrill running through Luke, his first adventure!

It took some searching but eventually he found you and Obi-Wan, you were sitting together on a bench some distance away from everyone else and the second R2 saw you he shot off like a rocket, leaving Luke to chase after him with a yell and C-3PO to sigh to himself.

Your eyes widened as you looked over Obi-Wan’s shoulder, gasping at the R2 unit barrelling towards you. You were off your seat before Obi-Wan had noticed the droid and crouching down just in time for R2 to crash into you causing you to laugh.

“R2, is it really you?” You asked and the droid let out a series of excited beeps. “Force, what are you doing all the way out here?”

“Luke?” Obi-Wan asked and your head snapped up to see a sheepish looking Luke, C-3PO showing up behind him a second later. “3PO?”

“You know these droids?” Luke asked and you taped R2 once more before standing up and glaring at Luke.

“The question is how do you know these droids and what in the stars are you doing out here alone?” You asked him with a glare causing him to look down at his feet, kicking at the sand.

“They were looking for Uncle Obi-Wan!” Luke defended himself, “They have a message, a girl is in trouble, she needs your help!”

You and Obi-Wan shared a look, a girl needing his help, there was only one person in the whole galaxy who fit that description, young Leia Organa.

“Let us get back to the house, it isn’t safe to talk out here.” Obi-Wan murmured and you nodded in agreement, starting the walk back home, wondering what trouble had managed to find Leia this time.

“General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father’s request in person. But my ship has fallen under attack and I’m afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. You once told me I would see you again if I ever needed help, this is the time. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.”

You and Obi-Wan were silent as the message finished, sharing a look between you, Obi-Wan standing and gesturing for you to follow him. When Luke went to follow you gave him a pointed look and the boy sat right back down again.

“What is Bail up to?” You asked and Obi-Wan could only shrug though he wouldn’t be surprised if his old friend was part of the new Rebellion. “We have to get that droid to Alderaan.”

“We’d need to bring Luke, we cannot leave him here alone.” Obi-Wan said, causing you to scrunch your nose in displeasure. “He will be fine, the boy is strong with the Force, one of the strongest I have seen.”

“Just because you’re right doesn’t mean I have to like it.” You mumbled causing Obi-Wan to chuckle and pull you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I know, my dear, believe me I want nothing more than for Luke to stay here, to never know the cruelness of the world beyond this place but unfortunately, despite our best wishes, the boy has grown up.” Obi-Wan told you and you couldn’t stop the stinging in your eyes. “He’ll be fine, we raised him well.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you can feel it too, I know you can, something big is coming. He shouldn’t be near it.”

“That boy knows he is made for something bigger than Tatooine, one day he may choose to fight and he will be a worthy Jedi. All we can do is give him the tools and guidance he needs to stay safe.” Obi-Wan said as he pulled you closer to him, smiling softly as you gripped his robe.

“We need a way off Tatooine, the ship is fine for small journeys but it’ll never get us to Alderaan in one piece.” You told Obi-Wan after pulling away and taking a shaky breath.

“We’ll fly it to Mos Eisley, leave the rest to me, my love.”

It only took a few mind tricks to get past the troopers, tricks that seemed to impress Luke, of course he’d been taught about the Force and what it was capable of but he had never actually seen anything like that.

Taking Luke into the seedy cantina was the last thing you wanted to do but Obi-Wan seemed certain you’d find your pilot in there. As you entered Obi-Wan moved away and began talking to somebody, out of the corner of your eye you saw Luke looking around in wonder before he went to move away, only stopped by you grabbing his arm.

“You stay with me, I’m still not thrilled you’re coming along but if you are you’ll do as I say.” You told him sternly, having Luke so far away from home had your nerves on edge, that mixed with the shift in the Force had anxiety running through you.

You couldn’t do anything about whatever was happening with the Force but you could protect Luke and that you would do with your life.

“Come on, Aunt Y/N, I’ll be fine!” Luke whined but didn’t try and pull away from you, moments letting stepping closer when a creature with four arms grunted at him causing you to snort.

As you walked further into the bar Luke got closer and closer to you until he was pressed against your side, his arm wrapped around yours like he had done when he was much younger. You couldn’t help but smile despite the situation and squeezed his hand before giving him a reassuring smile as Obi-Wan gestured you over, telling you about a captain who could potentially get you to Alderaan.

“Han Solo.” The man introduced himself as he sat next to the Wookiee. You glanced at Luke and elbowed his side when you saw him staring too openly at the creature causing him to pout at you. “I’m captain of the Millennium Falcon.”

You listened to him as he talked his ship up, Luke hanging onto the captain’s every word and you almost felt sorry for the man if he agreed to take you, knowing Luke would already have a million and one questions for him.

“Ten thousand, all in advance.” The captain told you and you watched as Luke gasped, rolling your eyes as you looked towards Obi-Wan.

“We could buy our own ship for those credits!” Luke exclaimed as he turned to you and Obi-Wan before snapping his attention back to Han.

“And who’s gonna fly it, kid? You?”

“I could! I’m an excellent pilot!” Luke declared, your gaze still on Obi-Wan, full of amusement as he looked at you in exasperation.

“Luke, why don’t we let your uncle do the talking?” You said softly, ignoring the wide eyes and pout that was sent your way. “Remember what I said.”

“Obi-Wan, where in the Force are you getting fifteen thousand credits?” You asked after the deal was struck and you had put enough distance between you and anyone listening.

“Bail wants the droid, I’m sure he won’t mind paying the captain who delivered it.” Obi-Wan told you with a grin.

“You’re sticking Bail with a fifteen thousand credit bill?” You laughed as you nudged him, causing Obi-Wan to laugh.

From then on it hadn’t taken long at all to sell your ship for the advance payment and before you knew it you were meeting up with the Wookiee and making your way to the Falcon, though once you arrived you had a bad feeling upon seeing it, wholeheartedly agreeing with Luke that it looked like a heap of junk.

“So much for no Imperials.” You muttered to yourself as you heard blaster shots and looked out of the window in time to see a swarm of them surrounding you but thankfully between the Wookiee and the captain were able to get you off Tatooine and into hyperspace.

Once you were in hyperspace you smiled as Obi-Wan tested Luke’s work with his lightsaber, knowing that something was bound to go wrong on this mission and wanting Luke to be as prepared as possible. Your smile didn’t last long though, if you thought something was happening with the Force before it was nothing compared to the sudden pain and terror you felt, gasping as you leaned back in your seat and watching Obi-Wan sit down.

“Something terrible has happened.” You heard Obi-Wan say and that was putting it lightly, you managed to push yourself to your feet before sitting down next to him, Obi-Wan’s arm wrapping around you and pulling you close as you buried yourself against his chest.

You stayed quiet for the rest of the trip, reaching out into the Force and trying to feel something but it just felt empty. Whilst Obi-Wan distracted himself with Luke, you followed Chewbacca and Han into the cockpit as he announced you were coming out of hyperspace.

You were glad for Obi-Wan following in not too long after, wrapping an arm around you and holding you against his chest as you staggered back once the captain announced you’d arrived but Alderaan was gone.

Everyone around you spoke but you were frozen, staring ahead at the destruction before you as Han flew through it, frowning at the space station that came into view.

“I have a very bad feeling about this.” Luke said and you moved away from Obi-Wan to pull Luke against you, the young man not pushing you away and instead leaning into your hold.

The fear in Luke's voice when Han announced you were caught in the tractor beam turned you cold as he turned to cling to you and you hated that he was on this ship at all, you knew nothing good could have come from it and now, if anything happened to Luke you’d never forgive yourself.

You almost gasped as you felt something in the Force, Obi-Wan turning to look at you and you knew you weren’t imagining it, you knew he had felt it too. You knew what had become of Anakin but to see his destruction, to see how far he had fallen first hand was different to hearing the stories.

You didn’t have time to think for too long though, the captain grabbing your arm whilst the Wookiee took Luke’s and they led you down to hide under the compartments. You waited until it was all clear and let Luke pull you up, him taking his spot pressed against you again.

You let Han and Chewbacca take care of the troopers outside of the ship before following them into the command centre, letting R2 find his way around and sitting against one of the crates in the room.

Anakin, no Vader had done this, he had been a part of the destruction of Alderaan. Your gaze shifted to Luke, your heart aching even more as you saw the fear he tried to hide, then you moved to look at Obi-Wan.

He looked like he’d aged so much since leaving Tatooine and you were sure you looked the same, you felt the same at least. After everything you’d lost there weren’t too many people you had left in the galaxy to trust and now Bail was gone, him and Breha and the rest of Alderaan wiped out and for what?

You knew Anakin was gone but you had to believe some part of him was in there, buried deep down. Surely he was tired of the fighting and the wars. Hadn’t you all had enough of it to last a lifetime?

Obi-Wan’s gaze found yours and he smiled though it was strained, you forced yourself to smile back though, forced yourself to push your feelings into the Force and focus on getting Luke out of here alive.

You listened as C-3PO told you that the ship could leave so long as one of the terminals lost its power and Obi-Wan looked at you, raising an eyebrow and you nodded.

“You boys can’t help, me and Y/N will deal with this alone.” Obi-Wan told them and you ignored Han in favour of turning to Luke.

“Y/N, don’t go.” Luke pleaded as he clung to your robes before you even had the chance to speak, him already getting teary eyed and you forced yourself to smile again, to use all your Jedi training to hide your emotions and project a calm you didn’t feel.

“You’ll be fine.” You told him, smoothing his hair from his face and bringing him close enough so you could press a kiss to his forehead. “If anything happens you know what to do, you are strong with the Force, trust in it and trust yourself.”

“Please don’t go, at least let me come with you.” Luke begged, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“Come on, none of that now. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise. I don’t care how grown up you get on me, I’m not going to let anything happen to you, you will get off this space station.” You promised him, cupping his cheek and wiping away the few more tears that slipped down.

“Uncle Obi-Wan, I wanna go with you two.” He turned to the other man causing you to laugh softly and Obi-Wan squeezed his upper arm.

“You stay here, stay with the droids. They are of top priority and must be delivered safely. Now listen to your Aunt.” Obi-Wan said softly, forcing his own smile on his face before Luke nodded, seeing he was fighting a losing battle.

“The Force will be with you, always.” Obi-Wan told him before gesturing for you to follow him and you went with one last glance towards Luke, mouthing an ‘I love you’ to him and finding your smile wasn’t as forced when he whispered it back.

You and Obi-Wan kept silent as you made your way through the base, it was almost embarrassing how easy it was to move around unnoticed with so many troopers and imperial officers on board, Obi-Wan clearly thinking the same as he smirked at you when you snuck past another large group of stormtroopers.

“You can feel him too, can’t you?” You whispered as you and Obi-Wan pressed against each other to avoid another group. “Even with the darkness surrounding him, you can feel him, right?”

“Yes my dear, it is Darth, no doubt about it.” Obi-Wan told you with a heaviness in his tone and you reached up to cup his cheek, feeling him smile faintly. “How twisted the Dark side within him has become.”

“You’re not just going to disable the power, are you?” You asked him and watched as his face darkened, not giving you an answer out loud but he didn’t need to, he never had to, you knew him better than anyone in the whole galaxy. “Whatever plan you had to get rid of me, to distract me whilst you snuck away, change it right now because you are not doing this alone.”

Obi-Wan went to open his mouth but he could see he wasn’t winning this argument so let it fall closed and instead leaned down to kiss you, both of you holding each other close and savouring the feeling.

“I love you, Obi-Wan.” You whispered against his lips, feeling the way his breath hitched being so close to him.

“I love you too, my dear one, more than you could ever know.” Obi-Wan murmured back, placing one more kiss to your lips before pulling away and you continued on your way.

The two of you made quick work of shutting down the power to the tractor beams so the Falcon would be able to take off and it was easy to sneak past the troopers keeping watch once it was done.

You followed behind Obi-Wan, pausing when he gestured for you to wait as he went ahead, scouting the next room and walking into it. You frowned as he failed to give you the all clear after a few seconds and looked up and down the hallway before moving across.

“No!” You exclaimed as the door slid shut before you could enter the room, locks sliding into place, your fists banging against it doing nothing. “Obi-Wan!”

From behind the glass you could see Vader already in the room, cloaked and masked with his red lightsaber lit, an imposing figure that should strike fear but instead your heart just ached painfully.

“Obi-Wan, open this door!” You yelled and he turned around to give you an apologetic look before facing Vader, lighting his own lightsaber.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you winced every time their lightsabers smashed into each other. Pushing yourself away from the door you raised a hand and drew all your strength from the Force and yet the blasted door still wouldn’t open.

You never took your gaze off the two of them, eyes locked onto Obi-Wan the whole time as you watched them battle each other, tears streaming down your face as you pleaded with the Force to just open the door, desperate to get through to Obi-Wan.

You watched as Obi-Wan paused, still holding Vader off but turning to see something you couldn’t before you felt a shift in the Force again, this time instead of fear it was peace spreading through it and you felt your heart beating wildly as you shook your head calling Obi-Wan’s name as sobs wracked your body.

“No!” You called as watched him put his lightsaber down and Vader didn’t miss a beat as he swung for Obi-Wan, the man you had loved for years, for your whole life, fell to the floor before you, gone in the blink of an eye, leaving nothing but a lightsaber and his cloak behind.

As he disappeared the door flew open and you stumbled into the room, falling onto your knees as you sobbed into his cloak.

“Still so loyal to Obi-Wan?” Vader asked, he knew he had recognized more than just Obi-Wan on the space station but hadn’t been sure. “Pathetic.”

You looked up at Vader and it was Vader, there was no more mistaking him for Anakin, not anymore. The Anakin Skywalker you had known would have died before killing Obi-Wan.

Vader lifted his lightsaber again, ready to strike you down as he had Obi-Wan. There was a moment, it was only a moment that lasted no longer than a second, where you had to make a choice.

It wasn’t a hard choice, a thought you had had so many years ago back when you were young and exhausted hit you, a world without Obi-Wan Kenobi was not a world you ever wanted to be in. Even in just these few seconds it had been since Vader had killed him the galaxy felt emptier immediately, it felt like a part of you had been ripped out, an aching hole in you that would never be mended.

You had never lived in a galaxy without Obi-Wan and you didn’t plan on doing so now.

You were old and you had lived a full life, more than a full life. You had been a Jedi Master, you had fought wars and commanded armies, you had settled down with the love of your life and got to spend every day at his side, raising a child who was yours in every way but blood, a child you loved more deeply than you thought possible.

It had been a good life, tiring but filled with so much love, even before the Order fell and it was an emotion that Jedi weren’t supposed to feel. You loved the men under your command, spending years at their sides and becoming closer than friends, becoming a family as you fought together on the front lines, earning their respect by standing with them. You had loved Anakin dearly, helping Obi-Wan navigate his new life of suddenly having a Padawan and taking Anakin under your wing when Obi-Wan’s grief over the loss of Qui-Gon was too much and he needed to be alone. You loved Padmé and Bail, dear friends and two of the few people you trusted more than anyone. Mostly you had loved Obi-Wan, long before you had even truly known what that had meant.

It was a good life, a long life and you knew it was done there. You hoped one day Anakin would find his way back, that he would find a way to rid himself of such darkness but there was nothing you could do to help him, not now.

You were tired and you were at peace, ready to join Obi-Wan, sure he was waiting for you on the other side for whatever grand adventure awaited the two of you next and as you turned your head you saw Luke watching you, the boy crying but he wasn’t alone, his sister had her arms around him and you managed to mouth a final ‘I love you’, managed to see Luke choke out the same three words before Vader’s lightsaber struck you too.

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I Wish You Would

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Prompt - ‘I wish you would come back, wish you were right here, right now, it's all good, I wish you would.’

Joel found himself walking the lengths of the gated community most nights, his thoughts wild and harsh, berating himself for being so stupid. Most of the time he waited until Ellie was asleep but some nights he felt caged and marched out whilst the kid was still downstairs, Ellie shaking her head every time he shrugged on a coat and opened the door but he was just glad she hadn’t called him out on his bullshit yet. He knew it was coming, it had been months in the making but he just wasn’t in the mood for it. He’d walked for a while but his feet always ended up taking him down the old familiar path that led him to your house.

How many nights had he spent just standing on your porch, fist raised as he thought about knocking before he turned with his tail between his legs?

Too many, too damn many.

It had been months since the breakup, god how had so much time passed already? He didn’t even know how it had turned into a relationship, he sure as hell hadn’t brought Ellie and himself back here with any intentions of getting himself a girl. But then you showed up, all pretty eyed and bright smiles and somehow, somehow, you had managed to worm your way into his life, somehow you had become part of the small number of people he would tear the world apart for to keep safe.

After Ellie he thought that was it, he didn’t think anybody else would be capable of coming into his life and turning it upside down again. You just seemed to love proving him wrong.

He’d gone twenty years without giving a damn about anyone else but suddenly he seemed to be making up for all that lost time given how fiercely and how strongly he loved the pair of you.

He’d already showed what he was capable of when Ellie was in danger but with you he had never had a reason to show just how dangerous he could be if you were in trouble, thankfully you weren’t put out on duty too often and you spent your time inside the gates but he knew if it came to it he’d kill anyone who even looked at you wrong.

And he had messed it all up. Even before the world ended he had never been any good at the whole dating thing. His job took up most of his time and when he got home he was tired and more content to spend the evening with Sarah than some woman.

He knew he liked you, it was a slow thing at first, he tried to keep you at arm’s length, tried to avoid you and distance himself but damn it if you were persistent. Tommy told him you were good, somehow even after all the doom and gloom you still found a way to be way kinder than people deserved.

It was Ellie that forced you into his life though. She wasn’t a stupid kid, not by any means, and she could tell that Joel liked you. So one day when Joel had gotten up from the sofa to make dinner not too long after she’d gotten in from school Ellie told him she’d invited you over to join them.

The look on Joel’s face was one Ellie had not seen before, he was torn between being pissed at her for springing it on him but he was also flustered, stammering out something unintelligible before demanding she help him cook seeing as she was inviting people over.

He had thought dinner would be awkward, full of stilted silences but seemed to forget that was impossible when Ellie was there. She must have asked you a hundred questions that night, one after the other, Joel had been tempted to tell her to calm it after the first thirty but you were smiling and answering them all, shooting them back at her and Joel couldn’t stop the smile that twitched at his lips.

From then on it became a regular occurrence, you joining them for dinner, most of the time you brought dessert that had Ellie grinning and swiping it from you before you even had a foot in the door. It was domestic in a way, listening as Joel scolded her with no real heat as he let you into the house and you automatically joined him in the kitchen to help finish up the meal. He scolded you for that too insisting you were a guest but you always shook him off with a laugh.

From there it went on, you stayed for longer after dinner was finished, Joel broke out the board games and grouched to himself when he was beaten by you whilst Ellie laughed at his misery. That turned into staying until Joel sent Ellie to bed and he saw you out.

Eventually it got to the point where you were staying long after Ellie had gone upstairs, you and Joel moving closer together on the couch until you were pressed against each other. Each of you usually had a drink and the conversations you had covered pretty much everything, at first they stayed on the safe topics of what you had done before the outbreak and other mundane things but eventually you started opening up to each other, Joel told you about Sarah, you told him how you were the only one who made it from your family.

Joel had never met anybody like you. He was right in his earlier assumption that you were too damn kind for your own good. Joel had told you things that should have sent you running, should have had you keeping as much distance between you and him as you possibly could have. Instead you had taken his hand in yours and rested your head on his shoulder before telling him he had done the right thing, that he had protected Ellie and that was the best thing he could do.

He didn’t know how you’d managed to survive out on your own for so long before coming across this place, too trusting and too nice, but somehow you had and he had never been more thankful.

It had taken months for Joel to finally even admit to himself that he was already halfway in love with you. At the point he had you had practically moved in with them, more and more of your things kept finding their way into their house, you fell asleep on the sofa and help Joel make breakfast before walking Ellie to school and heading to your own job only to meet back up with the girl afterwards and head to their house.

Ellie was a pain about it all, she wanted you and Joel together and she kept coming up with reasons to excuse herself giving you and Joel time together whilst shooting him a look each time she left the room. Joel could only ever roll his eyes at the look but even he could admit it was getting annoying now.

He wanted you, he didn’t know how it had happened but he wanted you and he knew despite everything you knew, despite the fact that he probably wasn’t the best thing for you, you wanted him too.

It took him a few more weeks to finally decide to just jump in head first and see what happened. So after cleaning up from dinner and playing a few games in the living room Ellie excused herself with a pointed look at Joel and this time instead of the half hearted glare he gave her each night he just nodded his head slightly and watched as she gawked at him before disappearing up the stairs, a soft yes escaping her as she left.

You had been able to tell Joel was nervous and usually if something was setting Joel off you’d be on edge too but considering it was just the two of you pressed shoulder to shoulder on the sofa you had hoped you could see where this night might lead. You’d been waiting for Joel to make a move for a long time now, not wanting to be the first to do it with how closed off Joel had been when you first met and then not wanting to ruin the friendship you had patiently formed with him. It was for the better to let Joel take the lead, even if it had been months of waiting.

He had watched your face shift from questioning to realisation and amusement as you settled even closer to him and waited. Of course you knew why he was nervous, some days it felt like you knew every damn thought in his head before he did.

He didn’t bother wasting anymore time, didn’t bother with words that felt stuck in his throat that could never do justice for how he felt for you, instead he just reached up to cup your cheek with a gentleness that had surprised you and leaned in towards you, stopping you before he touched your lips to give you a chance to pull away.

But you didn’t move, your eyes had fallen closed and your breath hitched despite anticipating this. Joel let himself close the distance between the two of you, let himself take a moment to savour the softness of your lips against his chapped ones before the kiss turned hungry, months and months of pent up pinning all channelled into one kiss.

From there nothing between either of you was ever really defined but it didn’t matter, Joel didn’t need any labels to let him know that he was in love with you. Nothing much really changed either after you started dating, it was only a few months after that kiss that Joel finally helped you bring your stuff around to their house and the three of you quickly got your stuff unpacked and you were settled in like you had never not been there.

Joel didn’t realise how empty, how lonely, he was before settling down, before having you and Ellie together, the pair of you at the kitchen table, heads bent together working on her homework, spending the nights with you curled up against him, listening to you laugh as he tried to kick you out of the kitchen as he cooked.

Really he should have known better, past experience should have taught him something, should have made him more cautious, but he had jumped head first in and now it was blowing up in his face.

It had been months, he couldn’t even really remember what that damn fight that made you walk out of the door with tears in your eyes was about. All he could remember was that it was the end of September, a time that always left him emotionally fragile at the best of times, and you had questioned whether he should be the one to go out on the supply run.

You hadn’t been anything but your sweet, soft spoken self, there wasn’t any judgement in your tone, no demands he stay inside the gates, just a simple are you sure you’re ok enough to do this. Joel being the absolute idiot that he was had gone and blown it out of proportion, honestly he was just picking a fight for the sake of it, he had so much anger and hurt and sadness in him that day and he took it out on you.

You who had been an absolute saving grace in this whole mess of a world, you who had stood by him no matter what, you who woke up in the night with whispered words and soothing touches when he shot up sweaty and panting and never forced him to talk about it before he was ready.

He had just kept going and going, yelling at you when you were the last person on this god forsaken planet who deserved it. He kept going until you took a deep breath and nodded, tears in your eyes and turned, walking out of the front door and not sparing him another glance.

It had been months since then, it was well into autumn now, the sky turning dark faster and the leaves turning brown. He hadn’t spoken to you once, he wanted to so badly but he knew he had messed up.

Ellie had called him every name she could think of to get him to see what an idiotic jerk he had been but he didn’t need her to tell him, he was well aware. He was aware of just how bad he messed up, hated himself for leaving it for so long but after he had calmed down and put the bottle of whiskey Tommy had given him months back away he couldn’t bring himself to talk to you.

He regretted it every day and wished he could just follow Ellie’s advice to suck it up and knock on her door you fucking idiot but time kept passing and it felt like too long had gone.

Joel was an idiot, you knew that, but you also knew he wasn’t used to letting other people in. Sure you and Ellie had somehow managed to chip at his walls long enough to slip past his defences and he was trying but you knew it was hard for him.

Spring and summer with Joel had been perfect, the two of you had only grown closer since you’d started dating and you loved the man, emotionally stunted as he was. You knew he had good days and you knew he had terrible ones, ones that left him in bed the whole day, words stuck in his throat as he grunted answers at you.

You didn’t mind, you had never minded. The world was a cruel place now and though Joel had told you a lot of what he’d gone through since the outbreak you knew there were things he hadn’t told you yet and that was ok too, you never pushed, especially not when there were things you kept to yourself.

When you had left his house that day you knew it would end one of two ways, Joel would come and find you once he had a few nights to calm down, to get past the day that haunted him from so many years back. You got it, you really did, it had been years since you lost your family and whenever an anniversary came around you didn’t want to do more than curl into Joel’s arms, hiding away whilst you cried into his chest.

The other option was that Joel would avoid you like you were a damn clicker, making sure the two of you were never in the same room whilst he licked his wounds. You hated that that was the option he went with. It wasn’t just months of dating that just ended one day but it was months of friendship before that. You were so used to his house that when you asked Tommy for yours back and he agreed with a sad look on his face it felt like you were in a stranger's house despite having lived there for years before Joel and Ellie showed up.

There was no more dancing around the kitchen as you cooked, no more stolen kisses and laughter filling the house. Instead you were alone in a house too big for you, cold and empty and missing Joel.

Of course you weren’t entirely lonely, you and Joel might not have been talking but you had to admit you were surprised when Ellie showed up at your door a few mornings after your fight with Joel, backpack on and demanding you walk her to school. You weren’t complaining of course and you didn’t complain when you walk past the school a few hours later and Ellie attached herself to your side, it was the closest she would come to giving either of you comfort but you took it silently and didn’t push her away when she walked into your house and made herself comfortable.

You were glad he hadn’t cut Ellie off from you, not that you ever thought he would and even if he did you knew Ellie would never allow it. Ellie was unlike anyone you’d ever met, so much of Joel in here and yet she was entirely her own person, so quick on her feet, always ready for a fight whilst silently always wanting some assurance that things were good and safe.

You didn’t even care how much time passed honestly, if Joel were to knock at your door now and apologise you’d have him back a second later. All you wanted was an apology, you might have been kind but it didn’t mean you would let people treat you wrong, you hadn’t survived twenty odd years in this new world by letting people walk all over you.

Most nights you lay in bed, the sound of people moving around outside could be heard but you blocked it out as your mind wandered. You always wished Joel would come to you, you dreamed about seeing him and watching as he stammered out an apology that he wasn’t used to giving before you would finally feel his arms around you again. You just wished he would show up and everything could go back to normal.

At the same time you were laying awake night after night missing the feeling of Joel’s arms around you, Joel was tossing and turning in his own bed that felt too empty without you in it with him. He ended up kicking the blankets off him more nights than not and forcing his feet into his boots, checking on Ellie to make sure she was safe and sleeping before quietly making his way out of the house.

Walking the lengths of the community didn’t really make it easier to dull the ache but he is able to sort through his thoughts easier than when he’s laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. The cold autumn air made him tug his coat tighter around himself as his thoughts went back to you.

God, you were the first person he had ever pictured something with, the first person he had wanted a relationship, a future, with. He had never seen himself as the type of person that would fall in love with somebody, for so much of his life he hadn’t had anyone and he had been fine with that but now he had had you and he wanted you back more than anything.

Night after night he found his feet walking unconsciously to your house. Each night he would stand at the closed door, pacing the length of the porch before turning back to the door and raising his fist. Whilst you were inside wishing he would knock he was sighing to himself as he lowered his hand and turned away, heading back to his cold bed for another night without you.

“You can’t keep doing this, Joel.” Ellie sighed a few weeks later, her voice uncharacteristically soft for this topic of conversation. “You’re miserable and not sleeping, I hear you sneaking out at night. She’s just as miserable, all she wants is for you to say sorry and then you’ll never have to talk about it again.”

“You don’t get it, Ellie. I messed up and now I’ve left it too damn late, she doesn’t deserve this.” Joel told her, keeping his voice steady even as his hands shook because the kid was right, he was so exhausted and he missed you.

“She loves you, Joel, she never stopped. She hates that house, just…just put everything aside, it doesn’t matter if you think she deserves better, she wants you.” Ellie told him as she stood up and grabbed her backpack. “She misses you and you miss her, you deserve something good, Joel.”

With that she turned to leave and Joel let his head fall into his hands. He knew she was right, he knew he was only making you both miserable and she had a point, no matter how many times he’d told you that you deserved better you always rolled your eyes and shut him up with a kiss, mumbling against his lips for him to stop being stupid.

He thought about that short conversation all day, it was nothing he hadn’t thought of himself but hearing Ellie say it made it sound more reasonable. You both loved each other and that was something rare, why was he so determined to mess it up?

That night he climbed out of bed again, stopping to check in with Ellie and rolling his eyes when he saw she was awake and grinning at him. He shook his head and told her to go to sleep before making his way out of this house. This time he forwent his usual walk of the community and instead made his way to your house hoping you would hear him out.

He didn’t have a speech ready, no grand words to win you back. He’d tried to pull something together but everything sounded forced and strained so he figured he’d see what he came up with when he saw you.

All he really knew was that he missed you and he loved you and even though that was scary, god was it terrifying, you were worth everything.

Now he suddenly understood all that romantic crap Frank prattled on about, about how there was somebody out there for everybody, somebody who would change the way he looked at things, changed the way he saw the world. He had always rolled his eyes when Frank started spouting poetry about love and finding your person even in this new cruel world but now he got it, he got what Bill had said when he read those words about finding the one person worth saving and protecting them because that’s what men like him were here to do and Bill was right, god help any motherfuckers who stood in their way.

Right now the motherfucker standing in the way was himself and he refused to drag this out any longer, if he knocked at your door now and you slammed it in his face then he’d accept it but if there was a chance you’d forgive him then he had to take it.

It wasn’t long before he was at your door and this time he didn’t give himself a chance to linger around, instead his fist knocked on the door and seemed to echo almost too loudly in the dead of the night.

Your heart sped up when you heard the knock on your door, there were only two people it could be and one of those was a young girl who wouldn’t bother with knocking, instead just letting herself in unannounced. The other was the man who had taken up permanent residence in your mind.

You threw a robe over your pyjamas to ward off the chill and slowly made your way down the stairs, trying to prepare yourself for coming face to face with Joel again for the first time in months.

Joel was a damn near nervous wreck as he waited for you to open the door, fists clenched at his sides as he cursed himself for listening to Ellie. You were probably asleep, it was probably for the best you didn’t answer anyway.

Just as he was about to turn and run the door opened and stopped him dead in his tracks. He could only stare at you, frozen in place like a deer in headlights. Ellie had been right, you clearly weren’t sleeping if the dark circles under your eyes were anything to go on, you had clearly been in bed though, hair slightly messy from where you had been tossing and turning and he could see you were wearing his shirt under your robe.

“God, I missed you.” He breathed out and then nearly slapped himself because that wasn’t what he had meant to say at all but the small smile that tugged at your lips was worth the slip up.

“What’re doing here, Joel?” You asked softly, leaning against the door frame and wrapping the robe even tighter around yourself as the air from outside hit you.

“Doing somethin’ I should’ve done a long time ago.” Joel sighed as he straightened up, it was easier now that you were in front of him, easier to breathe, easier to think, easier to speak. “You got every right to hate me, I should never have spoke to you like that and I sure as hell shouldn’t have waited all these months to come apologise. I ain’t gonna stand here and make excuses, I did what I did and I am so sorry, Y/N, I always told you you deserved someone better and I hate that I messed up so bad. I ain’t here asking you to take me back, I miss you like crazy but I get that I waited too long but you need to know I truly am sorry, baby.”

You were silent for about the longest minute of Joel’s life before your smile widened some more and you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his chest.

Joel froze for a moment, stiff in your hold before you felt him practically melt around you, arms wrapping around your shoulders, one hand coming up to rest against the back of your head as he held you close to him, savouring the way you felt against him after months of doubting if he’d ever feel you again.

“That’s all I was waiting for, I just wanted an apology.” You murmured into his chest and Joel took a shaky breathing. “I love you, Joel, that never changed.”

“I love you too, you know that don’t you, baby?” He asked and you looked up at him, smile still in place as you nodded and reached up to press your lips to his.

Joel let himself be pulled into the kiss, let it stay soft and slow as he cupped the back of your head to pull you closer. Eventually the two of you pulled away, unable to do more than just smile at each other.

“We’re good?” Joel whispered as he leaned his forehead against yours, feeling as you nodded again.

“Yeah, we’re good.” You said softly causing Joel to lean down for another kiss before he pulled away again.

“Go put your shoes on, it’s about time you came home.” He told you, keeping his voice soft and low.

You didn’t hesitate to turn around and slip your feet into the first pair of shoes you found by the door, just as desperate to go home as Joel seemed to be to have you there. The two of you didn’t speak as you walked the short distance back to the house, Joel tucking you under his arm with both of you thankful that you were coming back.

Both of you were exhausted, it had been months of sleepless nights without the other and it seemed to hit the pair of you the second you were wrapped up under the blanket, you curled into Joel’s chest as his arms rested around you. Immediately you felt your eyes close, too heavy to keep open and Joel struggled to pry his open.

“Glad you’re back home, Y/N/N.” Joel murmured into your hair and you could only hum and nod tiredly against his chest. “Gonna spend the rest of my life treatin’ you right.”

“Love you, Joel.” You whispered into his chest and Joel smiled tiredly as he pressed a kiss against your hair.

“I love you too, baby.” Joel whispered back and forced himself to stay awake until he heard you breathing even out and he was sure you were asleep.

The next morning Ellie couldn’t contain her smug grin as she came downstairs to the sound of laughter and music from the record player. Joel was the first one to see her and he couldn’t even pretend to glare at her, he owed that kid more than she knew and this was just another thing to add to the list, without her he sure as hell wouldn’t have pulled his head out of his ass and fixed things between you and him before they became too broken.

You were more than happy to have your routine back, cooking and laughing with Joel, sitting at the table making easy conversation with the two people you loved most in the world, glad that your wish was answered and Joel had finally knocked at your door to bring you home.

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You’re Losing Me

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Prompt - ‘Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes. How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?’

Notes -  I won’t lie I don’t know if House still has an active fandom but I just started watching it so have this, also the way this song was leaked like four hours ago and I immediatly jumped to google docs

It seemed impossible when you had first realised how you felt, falling in love with a man twice your age, a man who was your boss no less, it had been an impossibly bad, stupid idea. You hadn’t planned on acting on it, the man was meant to be your mentor but he was so unlike anybody you had ever met before, so bluntly honest, never beating around the bush, there was something so charmingly arrogant about how that you just couldn’t help but like.

So it went on for months, months where you silently pined for him, sneaking glances at him as he watched his soaps in his office, stealing moments together as he pulled you into an empty room as he avoided clinic duty and instead quizzed you on the latest patient. You had hoped that ignoring how you felt would just make your feelings go away, make you realise this was just a silly crush and yet nothing ever changed.

Nothing changed until the man started seeking you out more, he started to look to you first for answers, it was you he found first to talk about cases or music or whatever else came to his mind. He wasn’t open but he did begin sharing little pieces of himself with you, nothing overly personal to most people but when it was Gregory House sharing those tidbits they felt big, they felt important, like it was this closed off man's way of trying to open himself up, to give something in return for all you shared with him.

You knew as you spent more time with him that it wasn’t just a silly crush anymore, it wasn’t just some admiration that had gotten out of hand, you were falling for the man and you tried not to let yourself hope that he was falling for you too. Then you’d see him talking to Wilson, the two of them sat together, Wilson looking hopeful whilst House frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together before both their gazes found you and his frown turned into a small twitch of the lips.

Neither of you acted on it for a while but the pining and the tension eventually became too much for both of you. You couldn’t exactly say who snapped first, only that the case you had been working had lasted for an exhaustingly long week and you were both pent up with far too many emotions, add the bottle of something strong from his office and it wasn’t a surprise when you found yourself pressed against the wall with House’s lips on yours.

From there on nothing had been defined for a month or two, you both spent more time together, slept together, went for meals together, yet nothing was ever defined. It had driven you crazy, not knowing if House wanted something more from you or if you were simply a way to burn off steam after work.

Eventually you had given into your need to know, waiting until you were alone, you pulled against his chest, tucked up in bed together. You hadn’t been able to get the words out, mouth opening and closing, your fingers distractedly playing with him as you tried to collect your thoughts.

House never missed anything though and if he could read other people well without ever needing to meet them then he could read you like the words of his favourite book. He had been the one to start the conversation, telling you to say whatever you needed to say and listening as you stammered out the question of what were you.

House had paused, it wasn’t like he wasn’t expecting it, of course he had been waiting for it and yet he still had to pause. He had to remember all his conversations with Wilson, the ones where he had promised to give this a real go because his feelings were real. It wasn’t easy, he had closed himself off for years, never letting himself get attached, never letting himself fall.

Of course you came along and ruined that but he had never been able to find it in himself to be mad. He was glad it was you he got to try again with, he was glad it was you who showed him that he wasn’t totally ruined.

He may not have understood why you wanted to be with a man twice your age, a man who was explosive and closed off, a man who needed drugs just to make it through a day, a man who was so far beyond damaged he couldn’t remember a time he had been whole. He didn’t understand it but he wasn’t taking it for granted.

He told you as much and you let yourself fall a bit more for him at the honesty, at the trust he had given you. From there on, you hated how cliched it sounded, but everything just seemed to have fallen into place.

You went out together and called them dates, House let himself relax, stopped analysing every word he said, stopped debating whether he was enough for you and instead let himself slowly open himself up to you. You hadn’t been hurt the way House had, sure your last relationship had broken you for a while but you were trusting House to not do the same, you didn’t have the same insecurities so whilst you fell first it took House a little longer but he fell in love with you too.

It was good for the first few years, not perfect because nothing was ever perfect. You worked together and you went home together, sometimes that was too much, sometimes a case was too much and you couldn’t leave it at the door, instead dragging it in and letting it linger but everything always resolved itself, everything was good.

You fell hard and so did he. You moved into his place even after he offered to find somewhere else but you had just smiled at him and told him his house felt like home and you’d love to move in with him.

You couldn’t say how many nights had been spent with the two of you on his sofa, his arms wrapped around you with you against his chest, holding you close as you spoke softly to one another, how many nights had been spent listening to him play the piano that sat in the corner or listening to music filling the room after a long day where no words were needed.

It was good.

So where had things started to fall apart? When had that love turned into something else, something that seemed more for show than anything else. When had you gone from sitting in bed as House read aloud, the lamp lighting the room with a soft orange glow before the two of you drifted off in each other’s arms to you staying awake long after House had fallen asleep, staring into the silence and wondering what had happened, wondering if time was running out for you.

It had started with little things, things you hadn’t even noticed until months later. He brushed you off more, not just at work but outside too, suddenly your opinion didn’t seem as important. Then it escalated to him cancelling plans which evolved into him forgetting to cancel plans, leaving you sitting alone in a crowded restaurant, having to keep the tears out of your eyes as you left realising you’d been stood up again.

It was when the sympathetic looks came that you couldn’t bear it, not from the strangers around you but from Cameron, Foreman and Chase. Each of them had warned you away from him at the start, told you House just wasn’t a relationship guy but you had ignored them and it was worth it, it had been worth it for the best years of your life.

Their sympathetic looks hurt, they could see something wasn’t right but their’s weren’t the one that cut deep. That honour belonged to Wilson. House trusted that man more than anyone and to see his fond looks turn sad and sympathetic, that’s when it hurt.

The only person who couldn’t seem to see that things were falling apart was House himself. The man who notices everything, the man who sees the smallest thing and pieces together an entire puzzle without any other parts, the man who spots and obsesses over every anomaly failed to notice how tired you were. He failed to see the way you were sick, sick of being tired, sick of feeling unwanted, sick of questioning what you had done and why you weren’t good enough and where things had gone wrong and why he didn’t love you anymore.

You were sick and he couldn’t see it or maybe he just wouldn’t admit it. He still said the words I love you even as you frowned, wondering how he could so easily say those words when he couldn’t even see you in front of him, couldn’t see how you were dying from how much everything hurt.

How did he miss the pain and anger and grief in your eyes as you glared at him in the morning, him so easily going about his day whilst he ignored you, gave you a little bit but never what he used to. He smiled and joked in front of everybody, the others whilst knowing something was wrong never knowing the extent because not even House seemed to realise what was happening.

It had been years and you had wanted so much more with him, you wanted to give him everything and yet House seemed content stuck where you were, happy to stay frozen in time. You wanted to beg him, fall to your knees and plead with him to do something, to see that he was losing you despite how badly you had always wanted him.

It felt like your heart was twisting and stuttering, sometimes beating too quickly that you were afraid it was going to push you over the edge and sometimes beating so slowly you thought you were already dead.

You wanted him to notice, you needed him to notice, to do something to fix it. He was a doctor, he was the one who always noticed everything, focusing and giving it his attention until the problem was fixed but when he looked at you he didn’t see a problem because these days he never looked for long enough.

The thing was House had always been the one to understand you, to know what you were thinking without you ever needing to vocalise it, he used to be able to take one look and understand everything about you. Now though it was like you were a stranger to him.

You didn’t want to lose him, you didn’t want to be in a world where you didn’t love him anymore but you were tired and drained and just sad. Sure you may still fall asleep in the same bed but he never pulled you into him anymore, suddenly all the songs that he played sounded infinitely sadder and you nearly laughed at how you felt like those songs, becoming sadder and sadder as each day passed.

You had given him so much, you had never complained once about the drugs, accepting that was who he was, you had never given a second thought to his leg even when he tried to use it as an excuse to keep you from loving him, you loved his personality where most people struggled to even accept it.

You had given him the best of you and now it felt like everything was too far gone to bring back to life.

“Can I talk to you?” You asked softly as you stepped into House’s office, already having spoken to Cuddy and knowing you were doing what was best for you even if you did feel like your heart had exploded in your chest.

“Little busy right now.” He told you, barely taking his eyes away from the board in front of him, sparing you half a glance and missing the way your eyes were teary and red. “Can it wait?”

You took a shaky breath, wanting him to notice, wanting him to realise everything was broken. Where the man before you had once felt like home, had felt like he had been made by the universe for you to find, tied together with an invisible string to lead you to each other, now it felt like that string had been slashed, cutting off your blood flow and oxygen and stopping your heart all together.

“No, it can’t.” You said and watched as he huffed before turning to you, leaning against the desk to look at you and still not seeing something was wrong. Your lips quivered as you forced yourself not to cry, even as you felt the sting of tears returning. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you, not seeming too alarmed.

“Yes, I’m leaving. I spoke to Cuddy and handed my resignation in and-”

“Wait a second, you’re leaving the hospital? Why? You love it here.” House said, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to solve the puzzle in his head.

“I’m leaving New Jersey.” You interrupted his thought process, watching as he stared at you dumbly. “I already spoke to my parents, they’re letting me move back home for a little bit until I find something else but I’m leaving.”

“I don't understand.” He told you and it hurt, it hurt how genuinely confused he sounded. He really hadn’t figured it out, he hadn’t cared enough to notice everything had gone to pieces.

“I know you don’t.” You told him because it was all you could say, you knew he didn’t understand but he should, he should love you enough to see understand.

Do something, you pleaded in your head, say something, lose something, risk something, choose something, choose me.

You needed him to choose you, needed him to swallow his pride, to lose it for just a few minutes, risk being emotional, risk something, you needed him to choose you, all you wanted was for him to want you, to need you the way you needed him.

“So that’s it?” He said and your lips thinned as you fought back a sob.

Of course he wasn’t going to fight for you, of course he wasn’t going to choose you, not when he had been pulling away for so long without even realising it. Or maybe he did know what he was doing and he had just been seeing how long it would take for you to crumble and break.

“That’s it.” You forced out, somehow managing to keep the flood of tears from falling even as you felt the last of your heart stop.

“Right, well then, if that’s everything I have somewhere to be.” House told you coldly, not giving you a chance to say anything as he grabbed his cane and walked past you and out of his office, down the hallway without so much as glancing back.

Alone in his office you let the tears fall down, a hand to your mouth as you tried to muffle your sobs, not sure you’d be able to come back from this one. It hurt too much, all you had wanted was for him to fight for you and he didn’t even want to.

How had things gone so wrong?

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Got You Back was so sweet, loved it 😭❤️

Ah I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thank you so much!!🤎🤎