Hi, Plus-Sized Person Here Who Can't Focus On Class Because The Chairs With The Armrests Because They

Hi, Plus-Sized Person here who can't focus on class because the chairs with the armrests because they squeeze into my stomach and I literally need to think in advance how I am going to get out of this hellhole

We don’t talk enough about the systemic health effects of casual fatphobia and how much they fucking skew the data to the point where we literally cannot know how much outcomes are actually related to fatness and how much they are related to society not being designed for fat people, like literal design.

My best friend cannot find a bra.

She’s fat. We won’t get into the ~why~ here because it honestly wouldn’t matter whether it was “all her fault” or whether it was a result of outside forces like genes and such, she still deserves a goddamn fucking bra that fits.

And she cannot find a bra.

She’s short and fat, and Fat Bras are usually full cup, but because she’s short the full cups are usually too tall, or the armbands around them are too tall, to the point where what’ll fit around her chest and over her boobs will also dig up into her arms or have such high coverage that she literally cannot wear a shirt with a neckline high enough. Any bra that goes out enough goes too high.

This affects her ability to find clothing, impacting her ability to go outside sometimes, because she has this tiny selection of bras and she constantly has to wash them and when they’re gone she has no idea when she’ll next be able to find another unicorn bra. They appear in a flash usually in startups that die soon after, and COVID has killed most the small businesses remaining where she had even a hint of a chance of finding a fitting bra.

So she wears bras that don’t fit. Or she doesn’t leave the house. One gives her back pain. The other is, obviously, not very active. She likes to be active.

If she brings it up, people suggest breast reduction surgery.

But the thing is, with a good bra, she does not get back pain.

But if it’s that hard to find a good bra, they say, wouldn’t a reduction just be easier?

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to chop off part of your flesh, they say, then for us to cut fabric and underwire to more sizes? As if that is normal. As if that isn’t horrifying.

It’s not just bras. It’s chairs. It’s benches. It’s goddamn shoes. It’s seatbelts. It’s exercise equipment - I just got an exercise bike for Christmas. I had to shop around to find an affordable one that was also rated to take my level of fat. If I were 100 pounds heavier, which some people are? I don’t think any equipment would have existed in a price range that any working person could expect to afford. I don’t think most people even look at the weight ratings on chairs and couches and furniture. Once you start? They are lower than you think. There are absolutely 100% people you love in your life - whether really tall men or just average kinda overweight fat people - who should not be using the things they are using. Who are not getting support from their mattress, their footwear, their office chair. It might be you! You might be thinking “but I am average size!”, but the amount of furniture out there that’s only weighted to about 200lbs? Or 175??? It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. Get into the Proper Fat? The 350lb, 400lb, 500lb fat? There’s virtually nothing.

Seatbelts are not tested for fat bodies and seatbelt extenders aren’t regulated.

We know about the problems with too small a blood pressure cuff. With too low a medicine dose. With no MRI a really fat body can fit in for a thousand miles.

We know, from multiple studies on multiple oppressed communities, that social bias by itself, with zero other compounding factors, can give people worse health outcomes.

Now add up

+ one of the social biases with the least pushback even from the educated liberal set with

+ having a world that is literally not made for you. Where you cannot get clothes, furniture, or transportation in a way that will actually accommodate you,

+ where society is constantly blaming you for this. And even if you somehow (and if you know how, please tell me) manage to retain some sense of self worth and optimism and determination despite all that

+ that’s not gonna magically give you access to the daily supplies a person needs in their home and out in public that’ll make living safe and healthy life literally physically possible.

If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health start a bra company. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health mandate changes to seatbelt requirements. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health have a variety of chairs in your waiting room with at least some being properly Fat Rated. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, make it easier for fat people to be active by making exercise equipment that fits them, swimwear that’ll actually stay on them, athletic shoes that can bear them. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health ask they be included in more medical trials. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, promote fat visibility and fat people loving their bodies - because hating yourself has literally never been good for anyone’s health.

If you’re using “concern for health” as a shield to allow you to judge and criticize strangers, you don’t give a fuck about anyone’s health. You’re just an asshole who prefers a veneer of respectability when you bully people. You’re hateful and we can see right through you.

But fatphobia isn’t just bullying. It isn’t just judgment from strangers. It isn’t just medical neglect and medical bias. Even if we could wave a wand and make all that go away, my best friend still wouldn’t have a bra that fits, people still wouldn’t have a chair that supports them, a seatbelt that protects them. It’s literally engineered in. And it slowly kills people day by day by day.

How To Write Trauma Like The Lego Batman Movie

Using Batman from The Lego Batman Movie as my example. I will give you dissertation on how to write trauma whether that trauma is related to orphan shenanigans or not!

STEP NUMBER ONE: TRAUMA AIN'T COOL

This is the biggest thing that The Lego Batman Movie gets spot on! Batman, throughout the movie, behaves more like an emotionally-stunted comical manchild then the suave self-insert straight power fantasy we're used to seeing.

Not only is this more realistic then the countless power fantasy stories that romanticize traumatic experiences and shitty coping mechanisms but it serves the narrative.

And the movie is all the better for this since it's this character development which serves as the necessary emotional core for the movie. If Batman was the perfectly suave badboy then him learning to have a family wouldn't be emotionally groundbreaking.

STEP NUMBER TWO: Have The Trauma Impact EVERYTHING and do it uniquely pwease

From Batman's child-esque tendency to throw tantrums to his higly performative playboy appearance which seems more like movie then man to his edgy sensibilities, everything has been grown from Batman's infamous backstory of orphanry.

His childish and immature attitude give the sentiment that Batman has reverted back into the maturity of a child which is a common coping mechanism as it allows someone to return back to the good old days.

His playboy "stoic"/edgy mean sensibilities (when in public and as Batman) are designed to keep people away as his greatest fear is having a family only to lose them again.

I enjoy the mention of "reverting back into childhood memories" as a coping mechanism because it's a coping mechanism that's not widely explored because society tends to denigrate dependency as "weakness that doesn't deserve to be explored".

Most of the time it's just stoicism which is portrayed as cool and sleeping around which is portrayed as bad not because it's hurting the person but bad because of our puritanical values

Final Lesson: Flaws Are Only Flaws If They're Treated As Flaws

Alot of writers know they need to write flaws connected to a character's trauma because they read writing advice blogs (hey) but they don't want to write actual flaws.

So what is a guy(gender-neutral) meant to do?

Write fake flaws!

This tends to be what Batman as a legacy falls into. Batman is a sleazy capitalistic megalomaniac with control issues who has an obsessive relationship with criminals and every single emotionally unattached woman (and Joker) he can get his hands on.

But it's cool!!! Because it's philosophical, and hot, and power-fantasy worthy.

However, The Lego Batman Movie subverts this! Batman's fear of losing his family and his subsequent abandoning of Dick, Alfred, Barbara, and the Joker nearly lead Gotham to ruins.

It's only when he overcomes his flaws, he can succeed in his goal of protecting Gotham

TL;DR: Trauma isn't cool. Trauma causes a shit ton of issues that create so many different kinds of coping mechanisms from the admirablely unhealthy to the pathetically unhealthy. And the only time you should (cutely and sanely) ship Batman and Joker is in this movie universe.

Writing Advice: Writing Out Of Character

No, this time I am not going to trash bad examples of characters being "out of character". Instead I am going to explain to you what seperates a good character who is behaving differently and a bad character who is behaving illogically.

Question 1: Why Is The Character Behaving Like This?

When we writers put our characters through the ringer we often see our characters change in drastic and "unexpected" ways. This is an example of "good character arc" and not "out of character" because if you supply justification for why your character is changing things up and doing different things then it's character development!

Virtuous Character A, in a desperate bid to stay alive and after being repeatedly pushed to the brink by these harrowing cirumstances, kills Character B? That is good character development!

Intelligent and prudish Character C suddenly starts acting like they're staring in a smut fic towards Character D as their "body betrays them" due to horomones they should've learne to control in their teens? That is out of character!

Has this writer(me) been writing informative yet argumentative works but has tried to start offering a softer and less confrontational side in order to appeal to more people? That is character development!

Question 2: Have You Given Your Character Enough Time To Evolve?

Unlike what love stories try to convince you, it takes a pretty long while for people to change their behaviors and mindset!

Has your normally stoic character who has been practicing understanding their emotions finally expressing some emotion? That's character development!

Have I been slowly adding more informative perspective and softer actions throughout my rants? Then it's much more believeable that I would express a softer side towards this issue!

i’m on a roll with disabilityposting so i wanna share about an aid i haven’t seen mentioned online before. LIFTING POLES, for if you have trouble sitting up or adjusting position in bed. what is it? it’s just a helpful handle above your bed! this was one of the first aids i got and it’s a lifesaver. in the past i sometimes needed to call someone to help me sit up, but with this, i just use the handle :)

here’s my lifting pole - it’s built into my adjustable bed, but you can get freestanding ones! (bed is propped up in the pic, the handle doesn’t usually touch the pillow)

and here are some glamorous stock images

i used to put cool stickers on mine. anyways, since i spend so much time in bed, i use this way more than my wheelchair and i wanted to give it some attention. underrated aid. they’re good for people with weak muscles, coordination trouble, or anything that makes it hard to move.

thanks for reading and learning a thing!

I'm saving this so when I have to write a character who likes classical music, i'll have some information

If it sounds like the composer is trying to blast you with the orchestra until you're as deaf as he is, it's Beethoven.

If it sounds like the composer might be a vampire, it's Bach.

If it sounds like the composer is trying to set the violins on fire, it's Vivaldi.

Are you genderless or genderful?

Ship Dynamic: Genderless x Genderful

Think about this!!! Allow it to enter your brain cavities

You have Character A. Completely lacking in all signifiers of gender. Every single creature in your story, from the most conservative to the least, has to refer to this character with only they/them pronouns. They only wear gender-neutral clothing. Their complete lack of gender is impossible to understate.

THEN

You have Character B. They have the most luciously long hair you could ever imagine. A full-length beard of pure masculinity. And the most massive set of honkers ever. Complete mommy/daddy mikers. Whatever letter comes after Z is what they have. They have maxxed out femininity and masculinity. They are Gender™.

No one in the cast commentates on their two peers' utter fuckery with gender. No one questions what Character B has going on. No one wonders or cares what Character A is packing in their pants.

The best thing about this pairing is that it could be familial, platonic, or romantic.