Thor: Is That My Shirt?

Thor: is that my shirt?

Bruce, wearing a shirt that goes down to his knees: no?

Thor: Bruce and i slept together.

Val: and?

Thor: i thought you would be a little more shocked.

Val: oh, sorry.

Val, in a shocked voice: and?!

Thor and Bruce being awful at flirting:

Thor: i thought happiness started with an H, but why does mine start with U?

Bruce: i think you have dyslexia.

Thor: Hey, Bruce, do you want me to do a magic card reading for you?

Bruce, loves asgardian magic: Oh, sure!

Thor: [lays down cards] Alright, this one tells me you’re a precious angel, this one says your smile is heavenly, and-

Bruce: Thor, these aren’t even tarot cards, they’re just pictures of me...

I see the glass as half empty, Korg sees it as half full; that’s why we make a good team. Val, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle. Bruce wonders why it has to be glass and Loki usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.

-Thor

Korg: Thor? are you in love with Bruce?

Thor: