Tim: I'm Tired.Duke: You Slept For 2 Hours Last Night! Why Are You Surprised?!Tim: I'm Not Surprised.

Tim: I'm tired. Duke: You slept for 2 hours last night! Why are you surprised?! Tim: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

I stand by this. She's even in the batfam group-chat!!!

Tim is high :)

Tim being high: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Dick, used to Jason and Duke's shit: Sure... Tim: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Dick: Okay? Tim: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Dick: Tim: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio- Dick: Jesus, that one is a little- Jason, interested: No, no, Tim, keep going.

DC high school au… mayhaps…..

I’m not sure if anyone’s done this before

But I’m doing it now

So the JL, right. These are famous alumni who made school history and now obvi they’re billionaires and reporters and museum owners but they’re not superheroes— just regular people

Liiike Clark Kent was the best quarterback the school has ever seen

Oliver Queen essentially revolutionized the archery team

Diana Prince convinced the school to start a fencing league

Barry Allen slayed both track and any and all chemistry competitions thrown his way

Arthur Curry… I shouldn’t have to say anything about his swim team career. That’s where he met his wife

Bruce Wayne was one of the smartest people probably ever, especially to grace that building

And so on and so forth

Anyways so these people are famous, and they’re up on the walls and display cases and shit

The staff!! Was so thrilled!! To be getting their children!!!!

(The principal counted down the days on his calendar after the news hit that Brucie adopted his first kid)

So.

Dick and Barbara are seniors. Dick is the cheer captain and Babs WAS on the team until a fun little accident that has her wheelchair-bound. (It’s fine, she discovered she actually likes computers better. She’d hacked the entire security system one day at lunch because she got bored)

Dick is kind of the queen bee of the school, which is hilarious, because he KNOWS but refuses to let it get to his head. This man will start water gun fights in the hallways for fun

Jason and Cass are juniors

Jason is one of the drama club’s absolute best (singing and acting). He played Billy Flynn in Chicago, Prince Charming in Cinderella, Aladdin in… yeah. He slays pretty hard

Cass is on the dance team and regularly misses class for some competition or another. Sometimes, when cheerleaders and the dance team collab on stuff (like assemblies), she actually likes the pompoms. She does not like the skirts.

Tim, Steph, and Duke are sophomores— people are s c a r e d of these three

Tim is known for constantly having a stockpile of energy drinks in his locker; sometimes a few of his friends get access to it. He’s also terrifyingly smart. And he’s got a bike. SOPHOMORE YEAR. TIM WHAT

Steph’s whole entire TikTok presence is lifting/ workout challenges against any poor scrub who tries to go up against her. She can lift the same amount as Jason Todd. That gives her a very confident “don’t fuck with me aura” around school, which is good, because she’s got zero interest in any guy there anyways (bi f pref queen)

And Duke… Duke is the golden boy, so the first time you see him in a sparring match with any of his siblings (they do that for fun at lunch), you’re very shocked to see him holding his own against Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown. He also slays

Damian is the only freshman in his family. Jason and Tim make fun of him endlessly

It is pretty impressive that a freshie organized the biggest fundraiser the school has ever seen— and it was for local animal shelters. Nobody knows how he did it. Probably intimidation. You never know with that kid

Now the superfam. Ohoho, yes, these legends go to that school too

Kara is a junior, Kon is a sophomore, Jon is a freshman. They’re all on the football team (their dad comes to every game🥰)

Did anybody expect a woman or freshman to land on the varsity team the first year either of them tried out? No. But they made it anyways. Good for them

And football is just so different from their day-to-day personalities, sometimes it gives people whiplash

Kara pretty much runs the broadcast and yearbook teams, and she does it along with dominating the football field and gym

Conner looks like he’d deck you for looking at him wrong (I mean he might but like he won’t… probably), and he’s like. He makes good fashion choices. He’s the Bad Boy, which is funny considering his nerdy bf is the one with the motorcycle

Jon is fluffy?? So nice?? Sir who let an actual decent person on the varsity football team?? When someone spots Dami wearing his letterman at some point, they become the most popular couple at school. As freshmen. Slay for them tbh

Donna Troy is a senior. Fencing and beauty pageants is a weird combination. But she knows she’s pretty and she’s gonna make damn sure everybody else knows too

Cassie is a freshie, but she’s already on the fencing team as well and several people have seen her sparring with Damian (wHERE did he get KATANAS), and it looks like a couple of war gods who happen to be fifteen are fighting to the death for a few yards of shitty grass behind the school

Conner Hawke, Artemis Crock, Emiko Queen, Roy Harper, and Mia Dearden are the archery team captains. Yeah, there’s five of them, yeah, the coaches couldn’t pick because the kIDS ARE BETTER THAN THEM

(Ollie laughed so hard he fell out of his chair when they came home and told him that)

Roy is a junior and definitely brings his bow everywhere he shouldn’t. He also “accidentally” shot Jason once. Whenever someone asks about their meetcute they just laugh until the person gets scared and runs away

Conner is a sophomore but a bitter old man in his soul. What a king

Artemis is also a sophomore and everyone thinks she’s Ollie’s favorite because she’s like a mini-him, but Ollie doesn’t actually HAVE a favorite and she finds this claim hilarious

Mia, third sophomore, has a very strange attraction to the color yellow. She LOVES it. And she actually pulls it off, how awesome is she

Emi is a freshman but gets along with Dami pretty well, which isn’t surprising considering their matching deadpan humor and lowkey murderous rage constantly

Jackson Hyde broke Arthur’s record for fastest lap on his fourth try. He spends more time at the ocean than literally anywhere else

Wally West and Bart Allen are technically not related?? They’re like. Cousins. But Barry ended up officially adopting Wally (long story)

Anyways they’re actually cousins with Jesse Quick

The three of them DOMINATE track and field/ cross country/ physics club (yeah you read that last one right don’t even with me)

Wally is a senior and working towards becoming a forensic scientist for the cops. When someone asks why the fuck he wanted to do that to himself, he always jokes, “I’m not fast enough to be a serial killer so I guess I’ll help catch ‘em” and everyone is scared

Bart is a sophomore but should be a freshie, because he’s almost a full year younger, except that he skipped fifth grade and went straight to sixth. Tim and Kon pretend to be his adoptive parents and it’s like a soap opera watching these three act out a dramatic divorce arc

Jesse is a junior (alliteration go brr) but a younger one (summer birthday WOO) she definitely takes after Barry, especially in speed

SO people call their friend groups chaotic. What are you gonna do, go up and fuck with any of them? Bad idea

For fun, these assholes run a fight club after school with betting and rosters and everything, with anyone who signs up. FOR FUN. Once the batkids learned their dad has a black belt in like six different martial arts, it was all over

They say it’s a good workout

They’re probably not wrong, but still

Who the fuck wakes up and chooses violence on all their friends and family all in good fun to make MONEY OFF OF BEATING THEM UP

The most viral videos taken from their school is a push-up contest with all eight batkids, seven competing, Babs filming

Cass won.

LET me know if you want more for this. Because I’m gonna write more. But if you had specific suggestions or characters or scenarios or questions, I would love to write them

Good morning/ night/ 4am!! (PS BACK TO SCHOOL WOO)

If becoming Robin had an interview:-

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)

Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?

Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.

Batman-

Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?

Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D

Batman-

Batman- WHAT?

Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))

Batman- I-

Batman- *softly* Dick,

Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...

Batman- You can't-

Dick- What's your motive?

Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-

Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*

Batman-

Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-

Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.

Batman- There it is-

-------------------------

Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?

Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-

Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-

Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-

Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...

Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"

Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?

Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?

Batman-

Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???

-------------------------

Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?

Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-

Batman- *Bored* Mhm....

Tim- I-

Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(

Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?

Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't

Batman-

Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.

Tim- yES!

-------------------------

Batman- Any previous experience?

Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-

Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???

Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???

Batman- Don't call me sir.

Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?

Stephanie-

Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-

Batman- You're hired.

Stephanie- REALLY?????

Batman- Really.

Stephanie-

Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?

-------------------------

Batman- What is your opinion on killing?

Damian-

Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,

Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.

Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-

Batman- Sorry?

Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,

Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?

Damian-

Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*

Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,

Batman-

Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-

Damian- Excuse me?

Batman- I meant-

Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-

Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?

Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-

Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-

Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-

Damian- *Impassive stare*

Batman-

Damian-

Batman-

Damian- I'm going out.

Batman- WHERE-

Damian-

Damian- *Run's out*

Batman- WAIT-

Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!

OK OK, Hear me out.

So, I imagine Damian and Tim, when they team up, are the most JUDGY and BRUTAL siblings ever. Dukes getting there, but for now it’s these two, so here’s a lil skit:-

Damian and Tim:- *Arguing*

Dick:- *Striking a pose* How do I lookkkk-!

Damian:-

Tim:-

Damian:-

Tim:- *lip smack* mm’kay, Dick…you look…amazing! What do you think Damian.

Damian:- *side eye* mhmm,

Dick:-

Tim:- Just, maybe we can add and subtract some things, yeah? Damian, what do you suggest?

Damian:- Okay, first if all,

Dick:- Yeah?

Damian:- Burn the outfit.

Tim:-

Dick:-

Tim:-

Dick:-

Tim:- Ah ah ah! He’s getting to the second point!

Damian:- Then, go the mall, and get adult supervision to get some actual respectable clothing.

Dick:-

Dick:- *Insulted glare* Yeah, Okayy-

Tim:- I MEAN- At least he didn’t call you a worthless loser like he did with Jason...?

Damian:- Dressed like that? He did it for me.

Dick:-

Tim:-

Damian:-

Tim:- I want it said on paper that u defended you, but let’s go to the mall-

—————————————

If anyone wants to use this for a video/fan fiction/longer skit, go for it! Make sure to tag me/Link it in the comments though, we all want to read/see it <333