Whenever I Get Sad That I Dont Have Friends To Worship And Do Rituals With, I Remember That Birds Sing

whenever i get sad that i don’t have friends to worship and do rituals with, I remember that birds sing love songs into the sky everyday, and the grass dances in the wind when it blows. And the clouds blush at the sunset, and the wind whistles tunes, and the bees hum, and the deer trot. And then I remember that the river runs, and the flowers open themselves to the sun, and the bugs sleep on warm leaves. and as I walk and pray, perhaps the rabbits nibbling on shrubs are praying too, perhaps that’s why the spider spun her web so beautifully. and then I remember that I’m not worshipping alone. I never was.

Ugh they're so problematic (blushing, twirling my hair, kicking my feet, giggling)

Made this yesterday while fighting for my life. Enjoy my suffering babes

fun fact this is what I look like irl

not to be that girl but when I see yall reference to / draw "that half blank half apocalyptic look" on Armand he always looks uncanny and like, supposed to be scary. Which surprises me because that is not how I envisioned that line at all lmao so mayhaps I am the problem but my interpretation was always that the "half blank half apocalyptic look" was the look he had when his PTSD triggered and he's partially dissociated, partially terrified, partially desperate, partially not even in the room anymore. flashbacking etc. which would also explain why louis was like So what's it gonna be? Fight or Fawn? your two trauma responses? You gonna deal with these feelings with anger or appeasement? Or your other coping mechanism turning it into a sex thing? Is that not how you guys perceived that line too? am I tweaking?

sometimes I talk to the universe, or to plants, or to myself. And it's mega embarrassing because what if somebody sees me look at a plant growing out of some concrete and go

"Wow! look at you! good job! that was probably super difficult but you did it, i'm proud of you little plant." or i'll be looking for something and I won't be able to find it, but then when I complete a chore it's suddenly just on the table or right behind me in plain sight where I've definitely checked before and i'll go "Oh, is this for doing my chore? are you (the universe) rewarding me for being responsible? Thank you, I get the lesson, I'll try to do chores more often." bcs like cmon that's my mom (the universe / mother nature / whatever you wanna call everything around us) And I want to do it more often, it's like praying I think, but it's SO embarrassing. depending on who i'm around I probably wouldn't be in any danger or anything but also I don't think very many people would understand. but also, how could I tell the universe I'm ashamed of her? just because not many would understand? that's it? idk man i'm rambling