Janeacular - Blue Haired Rapunzel - Tumblr Blog

Ok i know it’s America’s most hated show but oh my fucking god I love girl meets world so much

So like what are the lore implications of Princess and the frog being a story in the story

I just saw some idiot on TikTok say "Markiplier hasn't uploaded anything in 3 weeks. Long time viewers will know this isn't normal." BITCH THIS MAN JUST CAME BACK FROM NOT UPLOADING FOR A MONTH THE FUCK YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T NORMAL. This Man Who Owned Five Ovens habitually erases himself from all of existence for weeks at a time. This Short Ass Motherfucker could be in fucking Korea getting blood drained from his eyes and won't be back for 2 more weeks. This Squirrel King is the same asshole who promised us four times to upload something every day and broke that promise the very next week.

The fuck you mean "long time viewers" BITCH LONG TIME VIEWERS KNOW HOW NORMAL THIS IS. Long time viewers know him uploading every day ISN'T NORMAL. If we get a couple month of content it's awesome! But those are so few and so far in between. Do you really think this isn't normal for the man who legit had people impersonating him on his own channel because he took a hiatus for like half a year. That lucky flannel having motherfucker disappears constantly, then reappears with some unbelievably AMAZING FUCKING QUALITY CONTENT LIKE WHO FRAMED MARKIPLIER OR A DATE WITH MARKIPLIER OR FUCKING IN SPACE WITH MARKIPLIER.

THE MAN IS MAKING A FUCKING MOVIE AND HAS DISAPPEARED FIVE TIMES ALREADY BECAUSE OF IT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T NORMAL.

Going forward I have decided to she/her Lestat

everyone taping pictures of markiplier to posters or railings or their glasses and things for the fnaf movie is so beautiful to me. we all collectively decided if he wasn’t in it, we had to MAKE him in it. we missed him so much and decided we couldn’t go a whole fnaf movie without him

I've never been a caitvi shipper (no hate just never felt a spark) so in preparation for season 2 I would like to formally invite caitvi shippers to yap at me and explain the hype. I wanna be destroyed by their breakup so bad but I just don't get why she's tweaking over a situationship with a cop that lasted like a week Please please please help me see the light, shippers go crazy, I want you guys to write essays if you can, make my heart hurt

People who have regular body heat don't experience cold the way we do. They apparently have this little heater inside of them that just, keeps their blood and internal organs comfy all the time. Being "cold" to them is just a chill on their skin. "If you're still cold after the first layer, put another layer on!" That doesn't work if you don't have the body heat to warm up those layers!!! it's just cold fabric on top of cold fabric on top of cold fabric on top of cold skin on top of cold fat on top of cold muscle on top of cold bones.

Then of course, even if there are FINALLY enough layers to make our skin warm. That does not mean it will make our bones warm. I could have an electronically heated blanket on me, and start sweating from it, and STILL BE COLD because it takes a lot of time for any amount of heat to pierce the surface level of my body & warm me in any ways that matter. So yeah, anytime you're interacting with somebody who doesn't have temperature regulation issues, and they offhandedly mention that they love the cold, just be aware they are never ever talking about our kind of cold. the kind that feels like an uphill battle. They're talking about something completely different and unique to them and their little internal heater. something some of us may never experience because we're always trapped in that fight with the air around us.

As a bisexual person I'm keenly aware of how such stereotypes are inevitably harmful to us, but unfortunately when I see bisexuals in fiction who are Evil and stylish and fuck like champions I can't help but go "oh work" for a sec. It's a difficult conundrum

This tweet made me chuckle because i had never considered that THIS is what Armand was suggesting their wall should look like, which then led me to two thoughts:

1. Armand is into bright colours for decorations (at the very least, a lot of yellow), so i take it as even further confirmation that, as many assumed, the dark grey, muted, minimalist look was mostly Louis' doing, which makes sense as an external representation of his state of mind and his depression.

2. Ai Weiwei is a highly political artist, with many works about freedom of speech. This show is never subtle about the art they mention, and this case is nothing less: when you zoom in, the wallpaper consists of beautiful compositions of...surveillance cameras.

So many details for a piece of art they didn't even include. I love this show.

Alive, Armand has religion, and when he loses that he gets education and wealth. Lestat is denied the church by his father, has no education and no wealth.

Armand is ripped from his homeland. Lestat is repeatedly dragged back to his homestead.

Armand is purchased from the brothel on the verge of death and thinks Marius is the beautiful Christ himself. Marius takes him to his home full of other boys, peers and comrades to him. Lestat is ripped from the bed he shares with Nicki at the height of his life, repulsed by Magnus’ appearance, and recognizes him almost immediately as a vampire. Magnus takes him to a home full of corpses that look just like him.

Armand fights through his entire death to become a vampire, quite literally crawling across the floor to receive the blood from Marius. Lestat won’t even ask for it as he’s about to die, refusing Magnus until the very end.

Armand watches Marius burn and is tortured by the Children of Darkness until he accepts their teachings, and lives by and enforces their rules in their communities with no wealth and no joy. Lestat watches Magnus burn and is left with no knowledge, no guidance, no community, and nothing but wealth and can’t even stick to the rules he makes for himself.

Lestat makes fledglings like they’re going out of style, two within like the first six months. Armand makes one. After like five hundred years.

Etc, etc, I’m sure there’s more

What mf tag do I have to scroll to see people yap about their sims and NOT just a wall of cc I don't want

'Them' by June_L

Posted with Permission

omitted details

more carmane sandiego

carmen and julia art dump I've been meaning to post for almost two months now<3

Temperature regulation issues suck so much and are so weird because it does not matter how many layers I put on, if the skin is exposed it will be cold. My fingers are like a full 20 degree difference than my wrist that's covered by my jacket. just move the warm blood over there omfg

ARCANE // ACT 1 →  ACT 3 

Jayce calling Viktor his partner.

Dear Mommy,

I wish you could see the pain you’ve caused me. I wish you could see the way the little girl inside me cries out for your love. For your attention. For your understanding. I’m sorry I broke your heart when I was little. I’m sorry I break your heart, now. I couldn’t see the ways in which I hurt your feelings in search of my independence. I’m sorry that you don’t see how grateful I am for your sacrifices. I’m sorry that I can’t accept the way you love me. I’m sorry I can’t be the daughter you expect. I’m sorry I can’t be as resistant to negativity the way you are. I’m sorry I wasn’t big enough, or mature enough, or smart enough. I’m sorry that my feelings take up so much space that you have grown tired of feeling ‘sorry’ for me. I’m sorry that the ways you hurt me, hurt to hear. I’m sorry the ways you failed me, hurt to hear. I’m sorry that I dare to take up space and assert my boundaries. I’m sorry I was never easy to bend or mold. I’m sorry I tried to think for myself. I’m sorry I wasn’t more verbal with the things that hurt me. I’m sorry grandma hurt you. I’m sorry that she made you feel small. I’m sorry that the only way you know how to love is to shower people with gifts that are only meant for the person. I’m sorry you don’t understand how to apologize. I’m sorry it brings you so much anguish to be wrong. I’m sorry life didn’t go the way you wanted. I’m sorry the one person who had your back no matter what, passed away. I’m sorry you feel so lonely. I’m sorry you feel so misunderstood. I’m sorry you feel so lost.

The little girl in me will never stop wanting to know you, to love you, to forgive you. But as an adult, I’ve grown weary. I’m tired of shrinking myself to accommodate your feelings. I’m tired of never feeling important or validated unless your feelings are validated, first. I’m tired of being your punching bag. I’m tired of being your competitor. I’m tired of being your redemption. I’m tired of being your healing. I’m tired of being your validation.

I feel that I’ve always had to parent myself. Guide myself. I feel that every time I’ve listened to you, I should’ve just listened to my gut. I wish I had listened to other lessons. I wish I knew when I could’ve trusted your judgment. I wish I was able to read between the lines as a girl. I wish I was able to recognize your pain and not internalize it. I wish I was normal. I wish my brain wasn’t so affected by the pain. I wish my heart didn’t hurt so much. I wish I wasn’t angry. I wish I could just stop feeling. I wish you would get help. I wish you would see me. I wish you would’ve cared enough to take therapy seriously.

I still hope. I still hope for the day you see me. I still hope for the time you know exactly what to say after years of experience. I hope you get the healing you need. I hope you start to feel the love you give others. I hope I can forgive you one day. I hope I can let go of this anger. I hope my chest will feel lighter, one day.

— A daughter searching for her place

There is something deeply frustrating about having the kind of complex emotional traumas that mean even one minor incident can result in a brand new trigger. This one negative interaction now means this entire person is a trigger, and it wouldn't even be remembered after a few days by someone who doesn't have the preceding years of bullshit, but it's a major and deeply unfortunate shift for the new person.

Like. Imagine if your brain interpreted every red flag as a "panic the second you see this," and also interpreted every orange, yellow, and maybe even offsides as a red flag, because missing a yellow out of the peripheral had previously resulted in an actual red. Multiple times.

(Do I actually know what a red, yellow, or orange flag even is anymore, in this metaphor? No. I am physically incapable of understanding when someone is minorly annoyed and got over it after a few minutes vs. when someone is holding a grudge the way I unwillingly hold anxiety.)

And now wrap all that up in the fact that the negative interactions that cause the new triggers are common and unpreventable because they're built from undiagnosed-but-almost-definitely-autism interactions that cannot feasibly be avoided without cutting one's self off from human interaction entirely.

So you have years of emotional trauma, a brain that develops new triggers at the drop of a hat by immediately sorting people or signs as falling under an existing trigger as soon as a minor negative emotion is displayed, and a personality that the cannot prevent the incidents that cause said negative emotions.

It isn't discussed enough how desperate, panicky, and crushed Aziraphale sounds when he cries "I need you!" to Crowley. He assumes Crowley doesn't understand that they can be happy together and fix the system as a team, that Crowley could make stars again, that Heaven could be truly good once more. While we and Crowley may know how awful Heaven can really be, Aziraphale still believes in the good of Heaven. Even with that belief, I think he also knows it will be hard, terrible, painful work to bring it to the level he believes it will be. But he still will fight because that is who he is. And he wants the love of his life to stand with him.

It's easy to forget Aziraphale was a warrior, that God saw fit to grant him a flaming sword. Aziraphale has proven himself over and over as a protector and a fighter. Yes, Crowley saves him a lot, but, as the scene with Maggie and Nina in the bookshop shows, he LETS Crowley save him. Aziraphale knows Crowley loves him and that Crowley shows his love by rescuing him, so he allows him to do so. He is perfectly capable of saving himself when he wants to. But in that warrior nature, he understands the danger involved in what he is about to attempt. 

And he is terrified. 

Aziraphale may come off as naive, but he is absolutely not. He just wants to see the good in everything. He isn't naive. He's hopeful. Sometimes to a fault, but it's there nonetheless. But he is cognizant that Heaven is pretty terrible -maybe not to the extent Crowley is, but he knows- and that changing the system may very well be the end of him. He knows he could -and most likely will- die in this attempt to bring about change. And now he thinks he will do it alone.

And the love of his life, the one he hoped would stand shoulder to shoulder with him to affect this change, his support, his one-and-only, and his knight in tarnished armor… is leaving him. Running away to hide, from his view. Now he has to put on a brave face and walk into the jaws of a monster all by himself. 

It's a plea, almost as desperate as the kiss he is about to receive. The courage falters and the walls come down. "I NEED you!" Please don't let me face this alone. Please don't leave me.

No, he doesn't understand Crowley's reasons. And they are on completely different pages as far as communication goes. So that plea, while heard, doesn't come through as what it should be to Crowley. They both completely missed the message on what they were both saying and now they must face their respective fates alone. Aziraphale certainly said some pretty terrible things to Crowley (don't get me started on that "second in command" line), but hat doesn't mean he feels it any less. While Crowley is angry and hurt, Aziraphale is frightened to death.

Aziraphale is so scared. But he's going to do it anyway. He cried out "I need you" and the one he needed just walked away.

That smile we see at the end? Well, there is nothing more dangerous than a warrior who has absolutely nothing to lose.

What may have happened during our childhood that made us develop a trauma?

We may have felt the need to keep an eye on our caregivers' beahviour, to judge them and their mood so to find ways to feel safe, and this transformed into an ability to be very sensitive about people's emotions, to the point of being an empath too. We grew up being caring towards others, validating them often, listening to them and trying to protect them from what we've been experiencing first hand.

We may have had to live in survival for long and that messed up a little with our memory: it can still affect us nowadays. We may have problems in expressing ourselves and/or learning/remembering stuff (sometimes our memories can get a little twisted from reality because of this shock too).

We may have been punished or yelled at for small mistakes when we were little and now tend to overreact even to little things. We may be seeking for perfectionism. We may also try to always explain us constantly in fear of being misunderstood or to "save" ourselves from easy and wrong judgement, even when it's not really the case.

We may have been grown up with parents/caregivers carrying anger and/or control issues, and still be triggered/scared when dealing with conflicts or someone's anger. We may be trying to keep a quiet and warm environment, even at the cost of taking the blame for something we haven't done or surrendering even if we know we're right (some though may need to actually go full force in and take over the other person so to change what has been).

We may have problems being vulnerable, having low self confidence cause of past gaslighting. We feel lonely, lacking trust in others, and having an hard time forming good relationships with others: we easily feel exhausted, judged, and unable to be vulnerable, fearing to scare everyone away and ending up alone once again after having lived an illusion (which would break us even more).

We may be trying to relive our trauma both in order to understand + heal and to feel safe (we are in a "known" place, where the unknown can't happen). It can also happen unconsciously through nightmares and sleep paralysis: these may tell us to keep an eye on what's going on on the outside and at the same time trigger our feelings of unsafety, powerlessness and vulnerability (and other fears too).

We need to try to remind ourselves that is okay to feel these emotions. But that now we're safe and know what is all about, we need to take care of us, even through the help of a therapist/professional. Let's just be kind and forgiving with ourselves for not knowing back then while we're healing, learning and working on us.

Hell, even HANNIBAL THE CANNIBAL LECTER knows to hug his children or people, to comfort and hold them, when they are displaying signs of emotional vulnerability. And my fucking parents WON'T. I'm so scared they are going to ruin me. Guys, I'm falling apart. I don't want my family that I was given. Its not fair.

I really do feel like Hannibal would fix me. He would help me be my full self (both good and bad, but unapologetically) and finally I would find peace, comfort, safety, and belonging. I would be healthier and safer. I'm sad.

Coffin Mother - A poem.

I was born with splinters poking out I was held in bloodless arms My mother bore me skin and bone But she was a box, and never a home My mother's kisses were dusty and dry My mother's door rusted shut I am new and unaware of you How my father was a victim too There is only one way coffins show love There is an inevitability about it Submitting to the grave is your only one true fate and her chest cavity is beckoning you're late from dust to dust we always return at any moment you could strike to hold me sing me a lullaby while you take my life Death mother keep me safe You've kept me trapped from the sky burred under shrouds of darkness and dirt Like a blanket over my world to deny you is to open my eyes I break your fragile lid and rip your hinges Torn away I cast parts of you aside I crawl with my dead hands through the earth above until a rumored heaven breaks open my brown sky Light and colors fill my vision, the air is not stale my lungs sting and my muscles ache I was not built for standing, walking 6 feet below I can hear howling curses of forgiveness; "This transgression could be forgiven You've had your fun, now come down from there The pain you caused, the body you've broken All that you've abandoned in the home I've built Just try to use the muscles I raised you with I knew you weren't ready for this Come sleep on my chest and let the cold soothe you Everyone has to die eventually." Coffin mother I hate you the ultraviolet burns my malnourished skin There is wood in my lungs, skin, hair Headboards feel like tombstones, Bouquets are mournful Coffin mother I miss you walking on my own with these unused legs makes me yearn for the embrace of sleep laying down in you to turn my brain off Coffin mother I don't love you But I do, in the way you love starvation after awhile Recovery can't stop my memories of enjoyment the high I chased of emptiness you gave I won't ever return to you, I'll blow my ashes in the wind, and you can die with whatever scars my freedom cost. Nobody is coming to fix the hole I punched through you to reach the sky. I can't remove the dirt from my nails or the splinters permanently in my blood. But you can't catch me to engulf my soul in it anymore. I don't care if I'm a dead thing among men. I will die with more life than I was born with. Despite you and your version of the world.