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368 posts
Long Distance Modern Au P2
Long distance modern au p2
Jaskier, trying to figure out his discord stream for a date night: you fucking SLUT don't fucking do this to me you piece of shit.
Geralt: *quietly munching on his dinner as he watches him lose it*
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More Posts from Jay-arts-t
Kind of Witcher S3 spoilers !!!! But just a funny!!!
My beloved (who is a musician ironically enough) who I often base my incorrect Witcher texts off of because we act like Geralt and Jaskier | Dandelion watching S3 and his reaction to Valdo is priceless

@limabean-7152
I have been thinking about this so much!!!
The fact that he's learnt the recipes entails that Vesemir trusts a human enough to teach him about Witcher elixirs/potions (whichever you'd like to call them), which is huge considering how humans treat witchers. I'm sure Vesemir has heard all about Jaskier though. I mean, he's Geralt's adoptive father, obviously Geralt has confided in Vesemir for advice about Jaskier in terms of their budding friendship and also the whole mountain incident (divorce era). Vesemir is a natural teacher, he's taught generations of witchers. So once he's met Jaskier for himself you better BET those two became as thick as thieves. Vesemir knows how much Jaskier means to Geralt, and he also knows that his son is about as thick in the head as he is in the ass (astronomically). But he's also realized that after over 20 years and Jaskier hasn't left, that Jaskier is also as stubborn as a mule. He's more than likely seen the burn scars on Jaskier's hands and knows the story of them too. Hell, he got burnt by Reince too. It's something they would bond over, Jaskier would probably ask him how he's remained so strong over the decades after everything. Vesemir would probably say something like "you know that when you love someone you will go beyond your limits to protect them." I think that'd really resonate with Jaskier, and when you see it in S3 especially, S3.2, that he has really started to form a new sense of confidence in the fact that he is Geralt, Yen, and Ciri's family. In a family of extraordinary people he would be seen as the weakest, but truly, he's their anchor.
Back to my point, Vesemir knows that Jaskier won't abandon Geralt- (which is one of Geralt's biggest fears, even if he won't admit it. Which I think has been paralleled beautifully with Ciri's character this season.) -and is willing to sacrifice himself for Geralt, and also push him around if need be. He'll gladly teach Jaskier it because if Geralt is going to get gravelly injured who is it that he trusts? Jaskier. And in the S3 finale, that's shown very blatantly.
And I think, a little bit too, that Jaskier came to Vesemir with the insecurity he feels when he is alone. Yes he's a renown bard, master of the seven liberal arts, the Sandpiper, a spy. But next to Geralt, next to Yennefer and even Ciri, what does a bard do against a war? Jaskier isn't trained to be a warrior, nor would he be. In fact he blatantly states he's a pacifist in the books. So how is he going to be useful to Geralt? (not that he already isn't, but again post mountain insecurities) His solution is learning all that he can in order to keep Geralt safe, and to a degree, Ciri as well.
I could go on and on and on about them all.
There is a line in episode seven that could have been a throw away line.
But it imply that Vesemir had taught Jaskier about making elixir.
Please someone give me that fic.
YOU BASTABRD
Long Distance Modern AU (back at it again)
Geralt: oh my fucking gods it's so hot, Jask. It's literally 30°C (85-ish F)
Jaskier: oh yeah, 30s aren't fun.
Geralt: I'm dying. It's so hot. Why is it so hot I'm up NORTH
Jaskier: yeah yeah it's not that bad. Go lay down inside babe
Geralt: no but you have AC, I have a box fan
Jaskier: we don't use AC at that temp
Geralt: OKAY WELL YOU KNOW WHAT. I LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS JULIAN. ITS USUALLY COLD AS BALLS UP HERE, NOT SATAN'S WET ANUS
Jaskier: WHY DID YOU CALL IT WET???
Geralt: SWAMP ASS.