"To His Eternal Shock, Wei Wuxian Watched Lan Wangji Start To Cry. He Had Seen Him Upset Before, Angry,

"To his eternal shock, Wei Wuxian watched Lan Wangji start to cry. He had seen him upset before, angry, even grief-stricken in the Xuanwu cave and on the clifftop at Nightless City, but these tears were not like that. They were slow and full, rolling like pearls down his cheeks."

- A quiet room, a night, a dawn, Chapter one: a night, by BarbV

the flavors of gay thoughts and repression in wangxian are the most fun

LWJ: loud gay thoughts on the inside; enormity of my desire disgusts me; oh god he's hot oh no; repress repress repress; no one will know so long as I don't make eye contact with anyone ever again, especially xiongzhang; my purpose in life is to be pure and noble, not be gay do crime; peace and tranquility, meditation and silence, once familiar, now empty, but at least they remain; I will simply be absent of desire as far as anyone is concerned and it will be fine;

WWX: gay thoughts but for the meme, they are universally true thoughts, regardless of gender, ok, shidi; if I flirt with everyone, no one will know that one man gets the True Flirt, including myself; if I keep moving and talking and laughing then I can live head empty no thoughts as fate intended; when you think about it, like when you really consider, like I'm just saying; look at me look at me look at me, need it need it need it; did I mention it was for the meme because it seems you are taking it seriously; why are you tying that, you won't even listen, what will you do to me~~

Wei Ying had this murky image of a domestic life with a dedicated partner and a little one, hand in hand, warm and loving, all that good stuff, but she told herself that was just an echo of her only memory with her parents. That reality was far, far away, and Wei Ying had more urgent matters now. She always seemed to have more urgent matters. Thankfully, Lan Zhan was always there to keep her steady.

I'm a few chapters in to a fic about wen yuan getting taken into foster care with cisswap wangxian. It's a lot and I don't know how long it will end up, but it's been lovely for processing some of my own experiences with becoming a foster parent. I have so many scenes saved up that I want to get to, just need to stitch them together! (My least favorite part lol.)

Rated M (may change to E, not sure yet).

tw childhood trauma, panic attacks, distressed babies (wwx included), so far just vague allusions to neglect and emotional abuse

Title from Notion by Tash Sultana.

WangXian Thoughts of the Day:

Lan Wangji’s reassuring “I am here.” 

Chapter 50, after Wei WuXian has been injured, and Lan Wangji is carrying him to safety on his sword. Prior to this Wei WuXian and had warned Lan Wangji not to go with him or his reputation may be destroyed.

Chapter 63, Wei WuXian is asleep recovering from injury.

Chapter 101, Wei WuXian being terrified of Fairy.

I always felt that every time Lan Wangji said “I am here”, Wei WuXian fell a little more in love.

Rereading MDZS vol 3 (oof ouch my heart) -- trying to pin down my interpretation of Madame Yu is still so interesting. I fully think that she recognized Wei Wuxian's potential and saw that he was currently exhibiting leadership maturity while her son was very clearly still juvenile (love that for JC tbh). In the scene where the kid is taken by the Wens for the kite, WWX jumps into management mode and JC is freaking out with the other disciples. Madame Yu overhears that. I don't think Wei Wuxian would be lead disciple only because of age (though it may be just that) and he clearly had the respect of the younger disciples (oof ouch my heart again). She could have held him back to defend Lotus Pier, but I think she saw how critical he was to Jiang Cheng's (and maybe also Yanli's) survival. And then she drilled in that he owed them, that anything less that absolute self-sacrificing dedication is because he is spiteful, a leech, selfish. JFM's backbone is Madame Yu (it seems) and I think WWX is JC's and she recognizes that, despite all of JCs bluster. She bound WWX to JC with Zidian intentionally, then affirmed his emotional bind to him with her words.

There's also something to servitude (class) and servitude (wife) here but that may be me over reading at that point 🤭.

textposts that remind me of the poppy war: