So My Depression Has Been Acting Up Lately >.> Like The Asshat It Is Meaning Writing Has Become ... Difficult

so my depression has been acting up lately >.> like the asshat it is meaning writing has become ... difficult at best and impossible at worst

so here i am formally requesting that everyone consider a heartbreaking alternate AU to the reset theroy where saeyoung simply experiences hallucinations and delusions that lead him to believe he has watched the love of his life fall for and marry all the other RFA members and reset multiple times

even on medicine when he no longer believes she’s actively lived out separate lives he can get insecure about the possibility of losing her to a reset

yah

just a thought take it use it write it draw it do whatever y’all want with it just idk tag me so i can read it when i start feeling like myself again

Hi! I love your works and I check every day for new ones! I'm just wondering if your requests are open bc I don't wanna send smthn in and have them not be open or for you to be overwhelmed :) thanks 💓💓💓

awwwwwe your so cute and sweet um ive actually been hesitant to open requests for that very reason i’ve been worried about getting overwhelmed or not being able to do one well

all that being said i do want to take requests i love getting comments and feedback and other peoples ideas

so send em my way oh i should probably set some rules huh

um i guess i don’t want to write for V it hits to close to home for me and i don’t think i’m very good at NSFW so if you request that i guess expect it to be vague at best

the RFA + Saeran sleeping cuddles

cuddles! cuddles galore! look there’s only one thing better than sleep and that’s sleep cuddles. 

also ya know master list if your interested

Jumin

He sleeps on his back on arm on his stomach the other to his side. You are curled in a ball hugging the arm at his side like a stuffed animal head on your pillow but face nearly touching his arm. He likes feeling your breath ghost across his skin and every now and then you shift and your lips brush against him in an angel soft kiss. He also thinks its precious how you cling to him in your sleep even if it does make getting up in the morning without waking you up a bit tricky.

Yoosung

This one changes slowly as he matures. At first you face each other curled up and you wrapped your arms around him. in his sleep he would cuddle closer and end up practically burying his face in your breasts. Your legs would tangle up and he would wake up so embarrassed because he always got a face full of boob. (he didn’t complain though).  As he got taller and more confident your positions slowly swap until he’s the one holding you curled up against his chest your head tucked just under his chin.

One time y’alls cat broke something shocking you awake your head shot up and hit his jaw. You had a bump he had a bruise and bitten tongue. It wasn’t fun for anyone involved.

Saeyoung

I head cannon that this boy does not enjoy being wrapped up. he doesn’t mind being under a blanket but only if the sides are free. He’s got a thing about being trapped (be it by his mom or his agency or his dad he has a lot of things that have tried to lock him up and he’s learned to fight it hard) and even something as small as being tucked in feels suffocating to him. He has to be able to move his arms and legs freely, so he does not sleep well with you holding him. so he holds you instead and he holds you tight.

Zen

Lay your head on his chest or shoulder he’ll have one arms around you and he’ll hold your hand with the other. You HAVE to be either leaning against him or laying your head on him because I guarantee that the second he doesn’t feel you against him he is up and searching for you. also this guy is a freaking space heater so it’s always nice and toasty in his arms.

Jaehee

your both curled up on your sides and facing each other. she holds your hand like the cutie pie she is. she holds it in both hands near her face while she’s curled up next to you. you may have your other arm slung across her waist to pull her a little closer but she really only needs your hand too know your there and grounding her. When y’all wake up its nice to spend the morning chatting before you actually get out of bed.

Saeran

he doesn’t sleep well, ever. In fact, most of his sleep is from naps on the couch while your still awake and either playing games or watching TV. So more often than not the cuddling happens there starting from him laying sleepily against you while you face sideways on the couch if you’re playing games he’s sleeping against your chest (boobs are amazing pillows) while you hold the controller around his back. If you’re watching TV, you just run your fingers through his hair. It’s always a little saddening when he wakes up and jumps away from you like he’s been burned, whether it’s a nightmare or just his angry embarrassment at being so vulnerable it’s a bummer, he’s still got a long way to go in his recovery but he’s doing so much better.

FEELINGS!!!

fraternal twins one girl named Ji-su roughly meaning beautiful wisdom (at least from my short research) and a boy named and Jun-seo meaning open talent

Jumin named Ji-su to acknowledge how he believed she would grow and give her a blessing that wisdom bloom in her life

while MC names Jun-seo to remind him the importance of opening up to people and give him a blessing that he find his talent and chase his passion

they grow up as a close knit family thanks to Jumins familial loyalty and MC’s emotional intelligence. when they are young Jumin insists they learn an art of some kind but it’s MC that helps them choose which one they actually want to learn. she encourages them to do things they actively enjoy and in the end Ji-su ends up learning fencing and Jun-seo takes painting classes with V.

once in middle school Ji-su and Jun-seo are separated into different classes for the first time and NO ONE is happy about it. Ji-su makes it a point to speak with the teacher everyday about changing classes. she is polite but firm. (she uses the business tone she learned from Jumin) appealing to the teachers logic at first but getting slowly frustrated as nothing changes. she cry’s when MC picks them up on Friday after a week of being in different classes. this is when Jun-seo steps up. he had let his sister try her way now it was his turn. the next Monday he struts into Ji-su’s class as if it were his own and sits in the desk next to hers. when the child who is supposed to sit there shows up he gives them a cold side eye he had once seen his mother give a man who had tugged to harshly on his dogs leash before saying, in his best imitation of his moms firm and no nonsense tone. “your new seat is desk A6 in classroom 3B” the child looks confused but wanders of in search of what was supposedly his new seat

the teachers are not amused and MC is called when Jun-seo refuses to move. MC kneels next to both her children and speaks with them gently for a while before standing and taking both of their hands.she takes them both out of school that day and get them ice cream while listening to their anxiety about being separated. that night they all have a family dinner and she had the children tell their father what had happened that day and how they planned to fix it.

“daddy, me and Ji-su are going to write a letter to the principal and all the teacher’s in our grade.” Jun-seo said

“we’ll ask one last time to be put in the same classroom in the letter and if they say no. we’ll accept it but we want to try one last time!” Ji-su chirped

Jumin smiled and nodded but that night he spoke worridly with MC.

“should i speak with the school? if they wish to be together I’m sure i can arrange that”

“actually i think some time apart would be good for them. not to mention they really must learn to do things themselves as well as accept when they don’t get what they want. I think we should let this work itself out. don’t you?”

I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS OKAY!

Imagine Jumin Han

If you and Jumin had a child, what would you name him/her and why? :) 

Reblog and answer :) Go nuts! xx

Recovering codependent enabler here! You aren't alone! V hits me the same way. My ex even had a cultish following for a while (seriously). I've watched/read summaries of his route because I don't feel they handle a lot of the more serious mental health issues right (psychosis and Stockholm Syndrome being the big two). I actually am working on a fanfic (that will probably never seen the light of day) for him to address a lot of that. In a way, it's cathartic... but I'm also weird.

honestly it makes me feel so much better hearing that! I was worried i was just being a baby ^~^ I know a lot of people like him and my dislike definitely stems from how much he reminds me of myself i hate the way i used to act sometimes. i’ve never dated (i got asked out once and the idea that i might disappoint them because i didn’t feel the same way sent me into my first panic attack) but i became codependent on one of my friends.

as for the fic being cathartic for you, your not weird for that!

everyone handles recovery differently as long as your making progress towards a better and healthier life your good! as far as catharsis goes sometimes things get all caught up and tangled in your head or heart and they way you down they choke you out and make it hard to think so it’s healthy to let that out! i’ve written 2 fanfics to kind of express my feelings like that since quarantine makes it harder for me to do the things that normally help me cope (they closed the state park near where i used to go to calm down) I also write poetry to help kind of purge those feelings. so if this fic is helping you than i thinks it’s a wonderful thing!!

GYAH!!!!! I love it!! thank your thank you thank you!!

is there any way i can request jumin reacting to MC proposing to him probably just wanting to renew their vows or something but she plans a whole date around it

Hi! Thank you for your patience and thank you for the request!

Jumin x MC proposing to him to renew their vows

Jumin Han is not a subtle man. MC knows this and she also knows that Jumin can appreciate her being unsubtle about her love for him.

So she decides to make this a big deal.

She gets the RFA involved, his dad, her family. She works out with Jaehee and Chairman Han a day where they could strategically plan for him to have an unexpected night off.

Reserves Jumin’s favorite winery for that night and plans to hide their friends and family.

It takes a lot of convincing to let a special kitty.

Gets the best allergy medication for Zen.

The night arrives, Jaehee lets MC know that Jumin is on his way home. The plan is in motion!

MC prepares for Jumin to arrive home, she pretends to be surprised to see him and convinces him to take a light night out to the winery.

Little does Jumin know V is hiding in another room, waiting to take Elizabeth after they leave.

Jumin, however, is very observant. “There does not seem to be very many people here tonight.” He noted.

“We just must be lucky.” MC tries to pass. He seems a little suspicious but MC quickly tries to distract him with his favorite wine.

They do a few tastings before MC finally takes his hand. “Jumin, meeting you was one of the most wonderful things to ever happen to me.” She says. “And I am sure you had something special planned for our five year anniversary but there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“MC...?” Jumin says looking confused as doors to the backroom open and all their friends come out, V is holding Elizabeth III.

He’s even more confused but sees MC putting her purse on the table and taking out a small box. “Jumin Han.” She said opening the box to him. “Will you renew your vows with me?”

Bean is so shook.

He’s actually never thought about renewing their vows before. He was planning on having an extravagant vacation but this...

He nearly gets teary-eyed but scoops MC into his arms and kisses her. Wine all around and cheers of congratulations!