I Am Quite Afraid To Write This Down Because Usually When I Say Something Went Right In My Life The Next

I am quite afraid to write this down because usually when I say something went right in my life the next hour/day tends to punch me in the gut again, but whatever, I will say it: I had a mostly chill day. I stared my anxiety right in the eyes, told her we'll be okay, let's do this (I lowered the urge to obsessively check my symptoms/pulse to the minimum) and I managed to go to uni, finished reading my seminar paper for tomorrow, ate well, took my meds, called like 2 doctors for some questions/appointments, talked to both my grandmas, did some Headspace meditation, and just all in all cried less then I did in the past 3 days. Of course I have a lot of things going on, especially things I need to do for uni, but I try to take it one day at a time and not everything all at once. I will do the best I can in this condition. Still not willing to give up, no matter how much it hurts or how much I cry and say I'm done. I'm not done. Healing is a process. Healing is a wave.

I think C.S.Lewis was the one who said: "Courage, dear heart." Well yes, courage to my heart & mind, I'd say. It's not easy, but it's better to try step by step than to do nothing at all.

- Reni

You're not supposed to fight against your feelings. Don't push them away, don't surpress them. Rather, think to yourself: "This feeling is painful and I don't like it, but I will allow myself to feel what I am feeling. It will eventually get better. Feelings are not forever. I am gonna feel this feeling intentionally for a while, then I can distract myself. My feelings are valid and allowed. I am not at war with myself. I don't want to numb myself. I will be happy again soon. There is a time for everything".

“Your mind, emotions and body are instruments and the way you align and tune them determines how well you play life.”

— Harbhajan Singh Yogi

hmmm yeah 🛌❕

if you’re struggling lately, i hope this reaches you.

we will be okay. you will be okay. you will grow and evolve and heal. you will enjoy life again even if it’s not the same as it was the last time you were happy. you will live your life not feeling stuck. you will do more than survive. you will thrive.

my 2024 goals:

fix what can be fixed

get myself together

be full of self-love

ask for help

be kind to myself

release negative self-talk

improve my weaknesses

more confidence