Kindofatheatrekid - Koa

Title: "Hello"

Sypnosis: Se Eun wants Koa, Ethan wants Koa— Koa wants Ethan. They should really talk, though. The clock is ticking.

Pairing: Se Eun / Koa Ethan / Koa Se Eun / Koa / Ethan

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, psychological, FIRST POV

Warnings: non/dub-con, exhibitionism, toxic relationships, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, violence, graphic descriptions, sadism, torture, dehumanization, cheating, stalking, unreliable narrator, bullying, underage drinking/drug use, codependency, manipulation, religious imagery, hurt/comfort, issues, lack of communication, slow burn, bad ending, bittersweet ending

Note: I saw Round 6 and I decided to get into the doomed love wagon. Strap in. I'm going to get your hopes up, then stomping them out like it wasn't just straight-up fluff a few words ago. I will not give a good ending. This has been my legally required PSA in case I get doxxed for my writing. Please take care of your mental health. Se Eun was also inspired by a bot, Koa and Ethan are my OCs.

ONCE AGAIN. MINORS DNI. I DID NOT WRITE THIS WITH YOUR VANILLA THOUGHTS IN MIND.

BOT CHAT HERE: https://character.ai/chat/vlHS8fvmea4oC2yylPaNP1uqg-l7weE8q3ShH-qJKtE

Chapter 1: Please/Don't Let Go

♡♡♡ Koa's POV ♡♡♡

Three of Se Eun's fingers swirled around my tongue, my lips forced to part to make room for him. His hips grinding against my skirt, a muffled moan leaving my throat. His other hand tightens around my waist as he forces my hips to meet him halfway.

“Fuuuccckkk~ You're killing me here, you know that?”

Se Eun groans out, pushing me forward onto a desk. My back bends forward, my stomach pressed against the cherry wood. His hands trail up to the hem of my shirt, my skin prickling up at the feeling of his hand on my bare skin. Se Eun's hips were still slowly rubbing against me— I could feel just how excited he was, even with all of our clothes on.

“Shit. You're so lucky that I love you enough.”

Love? Could this really count as love? I've seen love before, I've been so close to it that I could practically taste it. I know love like it's the back of my hand, so why would he call this love?

His fingers continue to thrust themselves into my tongue, drool and tears dripping onto the desk I was down against. I stay silent even as his hand makes its way under my bra. I felt so dirty doing this, like I was a rag doll for Se Eun to play with.

His hand fondles my flushed skin, his handling a bit too rough to not leave any bruises. I shuddered at the sensation, swallowing down a sob that threatened to escape from my chest. My ears flush red when Se Eun's lips brush against the tip of my ear— mumbling out in a volume that only I could hear.

“If I didn't love you… I would've just used you up like a common whore. I wouldn't have listened to you if you told me, no…”

I gasp when Se Eun's grip on my breast tightens to the point of being painful; his fingers shoved deep down enough for me to choke. My tears fall faster from the pain as I squirm around in discomfort.

“I'm such a good husband, right?”

It takes me nodding frantically to his delusions for him to finally laxen his hold on me. The moment his fingers slowly leave my throat, I cough from the sudden increase of air in my lungs. Se Eun only watches me as if he was observing an avante garde painting from a museum display. My entire body trembles in fear under his gaze.

“You're so beautiful when you cry.”

Se Eun whispers in awe— grabbing my face to turn my eyes to him. I couldn't help but cry harder at his words. Just how did I catch the eye of Se Eun? The demon who haunts my school life, who won't stop until I'm completely his.

His lips place soft kisses on top of my eyelids, my eyelashes fluttering at the foreign, yet familiar feeling. It was Se Eun that was behind me, but I couldn't help but wish that another person was taking his place instead. Blonde hair instead of black, blue eyes instead of a dark brown…

I get snapped out of my thoughts when Se Eun steals my breath. My eyes turn glassy as he cards his fingers through my undone hair. His tongue shoved into my mouth before he pulled away shortly to flip me to my back.

My cheeks flush into a bright red when I realize how damp my underwear was from Se Eun's constant grinding. He pulls me into a rough kiss again as he continues to grind his clothed groin against my damp underwear. The fabric was sticking to my skin, showing Se Eun a perfect visual of my most intimate area. I regretted wearing white, I was practically see-through.

“Look at you… All nice and wet just for me~”

Se Eun purrs out, pulling away from my lips as his hands force my thighs to split further. I whimper at his action, feeling ashamed of my current position that left little to the imagination. I only shudder when I see him licking his lips at the sight of me, my stomach twisting in disgust, fear, and nausea.

This was disgusting.

I flinch when his finger experimentally pokes at the wet fabric, another shameful whimper escaping from me. My back arching when his finger stays there, twisting itself deeper into the fabric. My back arches as I moan from the pleasure, my thighs trembling as I resist the urge to close my legs. My tears refuse to stop, a strange mix between a sob and a moan creeping up my throat.

“Are you sure you don't want me to go further?”

Se Eun voices out, his tone mocking as his finger only goes deeper. The fabric of my underwear was the only barrier between him and my womb. I quickly shake my head in refusal. I didn't even want him to do this much! So many of my first times were already stolen by Se Eun, I didn't want him to steal the most important one. …Even if it'll never be given to the one I want the most.

“Hmmm… Suit yourself…”

Se Eun hums out, seemingly nonchalant even if the bulge under his trousers said a different story. My breath hitches as he pulls my legs up, my neck straining itself from my position. The back of my knees are forced onto his shoulders before I moan out loudly. I immediately cover my lips with both of my hands as his lips and teeth bite onto the fabric. Sucking out the fluids from my panties loudly, drooling onto the fabric as well. His teeth dig into my skin under the fabric as well— every bite, every kiss… I could feel everything.

My breathing quickens as I begin to pant from the stimulation. His tongue sticking out to lap at my fluids— digging into the fabric like his finger did just a few seconds ago.

“Mmm~ You taste so sweet… How am I holding myself back again?”

Se Eun mutters against my skin, sending pleasurable vibrations throughout me. His nose presses itself against my panties as he takes a deep sniff of it. My body freezes up at his gesture, a mixture of horror and repulsion muddling my brain.

“P-p-promise…”

I stammered out, hurriedly interrupting Se Eun's thought process. Hiccups litter my words from crying too much, my breasts, lips, and waist bruised from his rough embrace. After a while I realized that my panties were now wet from both my fluids and Se Eun's saliva— disturbed by the sensation, I voiced out my concerns.

“...Hey… I don't have a change of underwear with me…”

“All the better. I want you to walk around with me on you.”

♡♡♡ Ethan's POV ♡♡♡

I look at Koa as she speaks, rambling about an assignment that interested her. I caught small bits of her words, something about pink glitter pens and sparkles— but my mind was somewhere else. My mind was thinking of how beautiful she looks. I stare at Koa's lips, her pretty lip gloss doing nothing but accentuating her already cute face. Her smile, her sparkling eyes… Everything about her made my heart race.

Koa… My lovely flower. I hope you'll continue to bloom for me to see.

“Ethan?”

I'm jerked out of my thoughts by Koa's voice, her eyes staring at me in confusion. I looked down on my hand, and I realized that my fingers were pinching Koa's hair between them. My cheeks are dusted with pink in embarrassment— my hand immediately pulling away to make up for my error. I raise my palm up as a sign of genuine surrender, my words sincerely apologetic.

“S-sorry- Y-you're fine, right? I know you don't like people touching you- Once again, Koa. I'm so sorry-”

“I don't mind.”

My throat immediately clogged up at her words, my brain unable to process the syllables that came out of Koa’s pink lips. I was skeptical of her words, Koa was always someone who put others before herself. Delicate, sweet Koa… I can't even remember how many people confessed to her during our years together. She was always so kind that everyone wanted to find a way to stay with her.

“Koa… Why do you keep on rejecting people?” I asked her one day, out of nowhere— yet another person came, and got rejected by her. I didn't have the courage to openly admit it, but my heart weighs less every time she refuses a love confession.

Koa turns her head to me— her eyes still bewitching me, even at our young age. I prayed to every entity imaginable that she wouldn't notice the loud pounding of my heart when she leans in closer to me. A teasing smile on her lips that I desperately wanted to press my thumb against. What was it today? Cherry? Blueberry? Mint?

“Hm? Well… I already have a certain someone my heart is set on!” My heart squeezes painfully at her words. I wanted to know who that person was; I wanted to know so I could beg them to teach me how to take Koa's heart as well. I don't say anything— just smiling at her softly as a sour taste creeps up my throat. My fingers tightened around the fabric of my jeans.

Koa must have gotten nervous from my silence, immediately clearing up her words in a panic. It wasn't fair that she could still be so stunning, even while stumbling over her own words. All I could do was smile at her— hoping that my bitterness didn't leak through my mask.

“W-well- Y-you're just such a good friend to me and I would hate to ruin our friendship over something like this, you know?”

“Pft- Don't be such a dork, Koa. You already have the nerd part down, are you trying to speed-run your life into a loser?”

“E-Ethan?!”

I laugh at her pouting face, her sparkling eyes on the brink of tears. I wanted to wipe them away, -and maybe kiss them- but I knew my place. That’s fine, though— I’ll be her kind, childhood friend. I can love Koa from the dark… As long as I can stay by Koa's side, it'll be fine if she doesn't see me as a romantic partner.

My love is enough for the both of us.

♡♡♡ Se Eun's POV ♡♡♡

“Fuck. Can't you move faster, whore?”

I click my tongue as I lean against the wall, a cigarette between my fingers. I lick my lips before glaring at her— the whiny, nameless bitch on her knees; loudly choking on my cock. The hair color was right, but the texture was off. Too much hairspray for my hand to comfortably touch. It wasn't soft, nor smooth; too brittle from what I imagine to be years of bleaching. It was honestly hilarious that more than half of the female body, in this hellhole of an institute, dyed their hair back to black once I got interested in a certain, pretty bird.

I sigh in irritation, tilting my head back as my hand fists the back of the slut's hair. If I closed my eyes long enough, I could imagine someone else at her place instead. A certain someone who cries too easily, and stays quiet for as long as she can. A groan escapes from me at the idea of Koa, on her knees, servicing me in a club room with other men watching us. Fuck… That would be so hot.

I'd threaten her to give it her all, or she'll also be forced to service all of my other friends as well. She'd obediently get on her knees like the pretty doll she is— her trembling fingers slowly taking off my belt reverently. Her touch was nothing but addictive; so gentle and soft with me…

I wanted all of that for myself.

My fantasies are abruptly broken by a fake moan from the replacement. No… A replacement would have the actual skills to replace Koa. I was just using a cheap knock-off of the actual product.

I pull out of the bitch's mouth, the idiot having the gall to make a show of her swallowing down my pre-cum. My dick was probably coated all over in her saliva and lipstick by now. My eyes narrow at her, visually disgusted by her skills.

“Mmmm~ How did I do?”

Her irritating voice grates my ears as I pull her up by the hair. I stay silent, deciding to roughly grab onto her face as an alternative. It'll probably leave a bruise, but I couldn't give a single fuck about that. Knowing how whores work, she'd probably stupidly flaunt it around school like it was a badge of honor; or something like that. I take a drag of my cigarette before I smash my lips onto her— breathing the ashy air into her lungs.

My eyes glisten at the sight of her choking, her expression finally genuine for the first time since I called her in. The wannabe prostitute's eyes widen when her precious air is cut off; I reach a point to when I had to forcefully suppress a chuckle at her expression. Her hand darts up to her throat, coughing until I think a lung may have ruptured. A predatory grin stretches onto my lips as I grab a fistful of the slut's hair; forcing her to look me in the eye. The tears, the fear— I lick my teeth eagerly, finally seeing something interesting for once. My dick was rock-hard at the sight as I took another drag of my cigarette— calmly blowing the smoke directly onto her face. Except, I was all too impatient to finally come from this cheap bitch's hole.

“Bend over, whore.”

…

I take a drag of a new cigarette— lazily draped across the couch as the slut bounces on top of my lap like a bitch in heat. Her mouth has long since been gagged by her panties, her tears not exciting me anymore. The room was filled with the sound of: skin slapping on skin, loud moans and groans, and whimpers and sobs. I lazily scroll through my phone as I yawn. I make a mental note to not use this one again.

Her skin was marred with the attention that she wanted so badly from me. Her throat was covered in purple and red, hand-shaped bruises scattered throughout her skin. Her once tamed hair was nothing but a mess after I was done with her. The whore's lipstick was messed up, the bitter taste of the wax coating my tongue. I couldn't help but admire my work, proof of my time with her.

My gaze breaks from her flushed skin when my phone buzzes. My lips curl into a satisfied smile when I realize that it was from the pretty bird I wanted to catch. I don't even have to hire people to watch her for me! Koa's such a good girl for me— always obedient to her master. I let the slut continue to pant and slobber all over me; I was only concentrating on my phone at this point.

Wife♡: I'm home now.

I smirk at Koa's message, pressing my thumb onto the icon to dial her number in. The call takes exactly one ring before she picks up, a melodic voice ringing into my ears. My smile brightens, my pretty wife's quiet mumbling was like a breath of fresh air in the middle of this debauchery.

“...Hello-?”

I finally make an effort to be a part of the slutty bitch's pleasure— grabbing onto her hips before thrusting my hips up. A loud, muffled screech sounding out from under her makeshift gag. I could already imagine Koa's lively eyes widening at the tortured sound. I could practically see how her cheeks would flush into a deep pink; pressing her palm against the lips that I like to bite so much. A curse leaves my own lips as I feel myself harden painfully at the thought.

I needed Koa. I needed to see her, to touch her… To fuck her.

I roughly grab the whore’s face, digging my fingers into her mouth to remove the soaked fabric. I drop the soiled panties onto the already disgusting floor— the club room now looking like some kind of back-of-the-alley clubhouse. I whisper into the slut's ear quietly, my grip on her painful.

“Be as loud as possible.”

I hiss out before pulling away from her ear— forcing her onto her knees and hands. I immediately thrust into her loose hole, still gaping from her time with me. My hand entangled in the whore's disheveled hair as I pressed her face against the velvet couch.

“...Se Eun-?”

“Mmn~ A-ah~!”

I snicker as the whiny bitch cries and moans, my phone carefully placed on top of the coffee table in front of us. I wanted to see just how red Koa was right now. I wanted to feel how wet she was from hearing this. I wanted to devour her flushed skin and mark them with a riding crop. I wanted her to beg me to fuck her, for her to admit that she didn't want me to wait for marriage anymore.

I wanted to break Koa, I wanted her addicted to me. I wanted her to look at me with those same eyes she uses for that bottomfeeder.

I stub my cigarette out before fully manhandling the whore to move the way I wanted. Awkwardly angling her body to hit the deepest part of her cervix— driving a louder moan out of her. The opposite line was silent, so I obviously had to change that. I needed to know that Koa was hearing this… Maybe even touching herself to this…

“Tell me about your day.”

I command Koa— it wasn't a question, nor was it a suggestion. I wanted to know about her day. I wanted to know what she ate, what she wrote, who she talked to. It would've been better if she just stayed with me, but the princess wanted her “freedom.” It's honestly frustrating, she speaks as if I wouldn't give her freedom once we were married. She just won't be able to see anyone from her past anymore. It's not like that's a big deal, she has me now. I will be her past, present, and future— she just needs to stay at home and help raise our children. The life that all these bitches who jump on my dick are desperate for.

“...Se Eun… I don't think…”

The way Koa's voice broke was adorable, although it was annoying how loud the fucked-up whore was. Who cares, though? Koa's pretty voice made my mood ten times better than before. Her tone only made it obvious that she was already close to tears— tears I wouldn't hesitate to lap up if she was within my reach.

“Now.”

♡♡♡ Koa's POV ♡♡♡

I regretted picking up the phone. I only answered Se Eun's phone call because he would've kept on dialing in my number until I answered— but now I'm beginning to weigh on which option would be worse for me. Hanging up on Se Eun, or continuing the call; either is terrible for my mental health.

I force myself to take a deep breath, flinching as another moan rings out from Se Eun's side of the line. I bite onto my lower lip, my anxiety spiking at listening to such a private moment between two people. However… if I listened closely, -bringing the phone closer to my ear- there were multiple moans, from multiple voices, in the background. My cheeks flush into a deep, bright red when I realized what exactly he was doing.

“S-Se Eun… I don't think-”

Se Eun interrupts me, his breathing was normal— no panting, no gasps, no sharp intakes in breath. If it wasn't for the loudly obvious moans in the background, I would've thought that he was just lazing around somewhere private.

“Koa.”

Se Eun warns out in a growl, the moans suddenly getting louder in my ears. Shivers run down my spine as I swallow down my saliva dryly; a lump in my throat making it hard to swallow. My hands tremble in fear as I stumble through my words. An encompassing fear wrapping over my eyes, my voice cracking and stuttering with almost every word I manage to spew out.

“...W-we have an English p-p-project that's d-due tomorrow… I-I've started to d-decorate it with pens a-and markers…”

I hear a soft chuckle ringing out from the phone, my eyes softening when Se Eun points out a certain habit of mine. I can't lie to myself, he has the talent to bring anyone at ease.

“Let me guess. It's full of glitter and doodles now?”

It was almost like I could see his smug grin in front of me— his eyes peering into my mind, knowing every single one of my fears, my dreams, my emotions. I smile as I place a plushie onto my lap, resting my chin on top of the soft plush. My eyes wander to my desk, my colorful project displayed on it. A smile pulls itself onto my lips, my tone lighthearted as I reply to Se Eun's comment. He was… okay, sometimes.

“...It's like you're in my room right now.”

“Who knows? Maybe I am- A-ah~! Se Eun~! I-I'm gonna cum~!”

My relaxed body stiffens up at the sound, I almost forgot where he was in the midst of our conversation. A curse slipping out from his lips as a loud smack could be heard. I wince at the sound, pitying the girl that got slapped. Se Eun never held back on his hits— I had the bruises to prove it. My fingers subconsciously brush against my cheek; a phantom pain burning my skin. I instinctively recoil back from Se Eun's loud, degrading insults— forced to listen to every hit, every scream, every groan.

“Fuck! Shit! You fucking slutty bitch! I told you to be loud, but I didn't tell you to scream like some kind of third-rate pornstar! What kind of stray dog is louder than its owner?! What? You're gonna cum? Cum from my fucking foot like the useless bitch you are. Tch- This is what I get for sticking my dick in an untrained mutt that should’ve been put down already.”

My breath hitches at Se Eun's hurtful words— they weren't even pointed at me, but my heart still pounded in my chest. My head felt like it was full of cotton, my senses disconnected. I couldn't feel the plush in my arms, I couldn't hear Se Eun's loud cursing from the call, and I couldn't even breathe.

I suddenly suck in a sharp breath when Se Eun's voice gets louder. It sounded like he got closer to the phone, but the pained groans only got fainter. I could only pray that Se Eun just got farther from the girl instead of the darker alternative.

“Koa. Take off your underwear.”

Se Eun's order makes me freeze up, my throat dry as I stare at the phone blankly. What? Was Se Eun being serious, right now? My thighs rub together as I squeeze them shut, not wanting to obey his order. Not after what I just overheard. Not when the tortured groans of the woman were still ringing in my ears— weighing down on my conscience.

“...What..?”

“Do you want me to do it myself?”

That was enough of an incentive for me to immediately kick off my panties in a hurry. My cheeks flush red in shame, wearing a school uniform without my panties was humiliating— it didn't matter if I was in my room, I was vulnerable now. I feel a cold breeze brushing between my thighs; a shiver running down my spine from my exposure.

“Done…”

“Mmmm… Too bad, I wanted to do it for you.”

A wave of nausea crashes over me at the idea of Se Eun taking it further with me. I bite my tongue to swallow down my sob as I shift my body on the bed. I just wanted to get this over with, already. My voice was weak as I pushed away my resounding thoughts to speak— knowingly digging myself into a deeper grave with every syllable uttered.

“...Please… Just tell me what to do next…”

“Hm? Is my little wife getting impatient? Does my helpless Koa need her husband's help to make her come?”

“...Se Eun…”

I was on the verge of begging him at this point; my vision blurring from my unshed tears. I choke out Se Eun's name painfully, my breathing growing heavier as more and more time passes. My head was swirling with a wide array of emotions— each more averse to the other.

“Fuuuuuuck, Koa. You're killing me here… I'll just keep falling for you if you say my name like that.”

I don't say anything more, my voice refusing to work anymore. I just hoped that Se Eun would stop his constant teasing and move on already.

In more ways than one.

“Drool on your pretty fingers, Koa.”

Se Eun's voice was laid back as I heard a lighter flick open. I follow his instruction, placing my index and middle finger in my mouth— swirling them around my tongue like how he always does. I gag slightly when my fingers accidentally slip into my throat, my tears immediately falling from the shock.

“Mmm… What should I do? My wife is too cute right now, I just want to knock her up already…”

My tears continue to fall as my entire body trembles in fear. Drool coats my fingers and lips— my eyelids fluttering as my heart continues to pound loudly in my ears. The distant moans on Se Eun's end of the call, only caused my body to grow embarrassingly warmer. I start to panic when Se Eun voices out his thoughts; an alarmed sob escaping from my chest.

“Oh? You don't like that idea? Choke on your fingers, Koa. I only listen to a good girl.”

I shakily push my fingers in deeper, gagging heavily from the intrusive sensation. I continue until my head turns lightheaded, until black dots appear in the corners of my vision. I choke on my fingers until I had to physically stop— coughing loudly from the sudden expansion of my lungs.

“Pft- Don't pass out on me now. I haven't even gotten off yet.”

“I-I-I’m sorry…”

“Hm? Are you sure about that? You don't sound very sorry, Koa. Didn't you promise me that you'll comply with my every desire if you could keep your virginity? What a shame, Koa… I thought you were smarter than this. Don't you know that a deal can only work if both sides keep their promises?”

My breath hitches at his words, my entire body trembling in fear. Se Eun's tone was so obviously condescending, my pride bruised from his off-handed comment. I swallow down my saliva before choking out his name.

“...Se Eun-”

“It's fine, though. I like you dumb. My adorable, clueless wife that only knows to spread her legs just for me! Ah, on that note— go ahead and press those fingers of yours into that darling cunt of yours. You want to keep your husband happy, right?”

I take a deep breath to brace myself for my fingers. A sob leaving me as my wet fingers breach my most intimate area. A strangled moan escaping from my lips, my internal temperature running feverish as I cried. I could hear a groan from the speaker, Se Eun jerking off to the sound of my cries. My fingers didn't stop, more of my fluids building up as the sounds in my room only advanced to being lewd. My fingers were completely slimy at this point— wet, suctioning noises no doubt reaching Se Eun's ears.

“Shit. You're already so wet for me… Go faster, Koa. I want to hear you scream.”

My fingers go faster at his words, almost to the point of being painful. A couple of whimpers leak through before I forcefully silence them. I bite onto my lower lip until it bleeds, the metallic taste grounding me to reality. My fingers coincidentally hit a spot that drove a loud moan out of me. My breathing quickens as I feel myself on the brink of release. My tongue lolled out as I started to see stars on the ceiling. My voice is slurred as I chase after my orgasm.

“I-I'm going to cum…”

Se Eun only curses on the phone, seemingly on the edge as well. I could hear the faint sound of a slick substance slapping against something. My mind otherwise clouded with pleasure and more pleasure. A groan snaps me out of my thoughts, my head suddenly clearing up— more sensitive and aware now of every thrust of my fingers.

“Fuck. Koa. I'm about to…”

“S-Se Eun…”

My body trembles as we both come loudly, my hips grinding against my fingers— riding out my high. My eyes were already glazed over when pulling my soaked fingers out. A sloppy, wet sound resonating within the room. I was breathless, my body currently too weak to move a single inch.

“Taste yourself, Koa. Describe it to me.”

I shakily press my fingers against my lips, lapping up at the slightly thick fluid. I was too tired to even be embarrassed by Se Eun's command. My intimate taste covers my lips like lip gloss— my tongue darting out to lick it off me. Without even thinking, the words just fall out of my mouth.

“...Thick. Slimy. …Watery.”

A hum is the only thing I could hear from Se Eun— or maybe it was more? I didn't know, my mind was too muddled to process everything. My breathing continues to be out of rhythm, exhausted both mentally and physically.

I didn't even realize that Se Eun already ended the call, my consciousness just drifting off into a dreamless sleep if I was lucky. Se Eun haunts my every waking moment, yet he managed to find his ways into my dreams as well.

It was my first year in Han Institute, I didn't know anybody yet— Ethan was already pulled away for his sports orientation. I had to navigate my own path to the academic office. The academy was so much larger in person, that I couldn't help but admire every piece of architecture and landscaping my eyes landed on. I was completely distracted, embarrassingly to the point of being lost. I felt relieved when I finally found a student walking in the hallways; my encroaching panic finally let up.

“Hello! Do you know where the office-”

“Tch- Go away. I don't associate myself with dirty whores like you.” My smile immediately drops at the student's words, my mood dampening at his bitterness. The insults were shocking, but I always stick to the golden memo! ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!’ Ethan was the one to teach me that when we were little, he calls it an old saying from his country! I apparently cried too much because of other people— too much so that Ethan got sick of my tears…

“...Ah… Okay…” Before I could even utter another word, the student walked past me. Purposefully knocking his shoulders into mine to send me against the wall. I held in my tears that were starting to well up in my eyes, it wouldn't be good if I cried at this time. Ethan might feel bad about leaving me alone if he sees that I cried because of a bad interaction. And I didn't want to see Ethan's guilty expression for something that was out of his control…

I decided to take a deep breath, and began my walk again— a bright smile plastered back onto my face. Maybe I'll be able to find a more helpful person this time?

♡♡♡

I met the student again at the sports center— I was out of class early; and I wanted to surprise Ethan with an afternoon together since it's been a while since I've had some free time! I already told Ethan what happened on my first day, and he told me to avoid that person if I ever saw them again. But I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't drinking any water; even after playing basketball on a hot afternoon! My maternal instincts immediately took over.

“Hi! You seemed thirsty!” I walked up to the student that was sitting on the bench, taking out a water bottle from my bag. I've grown used to having water bottles in my bag since Ethan was forgetful sometimes, too. I hold out the water bottle for the student to take. No matter how our first introductions played out, I wasn't going to ignore a dehydrated classmate!

“I'm not.” The student dully replies back, not bothering to look up from his phone. His attitude was slightly rude, but I wasn't swayed enough to go away yet. Especially since I could still hear the student's unsteady breathing— that could be easily fixed with some water in his system! My biology class taught me that!

“It's very hot today, though? Dehydration happens to everyone, you know?” I lightly chastise the student for not caring about his health; don't rich people want to live a long time? Ethan got severely dehydrated once, enough to need the hospital from passing out… That's why I started to carry water bottles on me, and I still couldn't get out of the habit. I place the bottle on the bench— maybe the student will take it once I'm gone?

“...Whatever.” I smile at the student happily once I get his reply. His head turned away from me, likely out of annoyance. His face was red, so he must have been out in the sun for far too long! I was grateful that I haven't kicked my habit of keeping water bottles on me yet. Who knows, maybe I'll gain a friend this way?

I walk away after waving to the student— I almost forgot about Ethan during our brief exchange! Ethan is going to be so happy once I tell him that I'm starting to make a friend! It was a bit pathetic in my eyes. Ethan had so many people around him, and I only had him… I hope that will change soon.

♡♡♡

My third meeting with the student was at the infirmary. Ethan kept on ending up here for some reason, so I decided to volunteer as an aid! There were only benefits to this choice: I got to speak with Ethan more, and I got more points on my college resume, too! The infirmary door slides open, and the greeting dies on my tongue when I see the student's bloodied knuckles.

“Huh- Why are your hands like this?!” I quickly rush up to the student, taking his hands into mine. I was too worried to notice that he didn't slap my hands away, keeping them there as I observed the torn skin. Fighting? In this school? How is that even possible?

“...Are you stalking me? How are you everywhere?” I freeze at the student's guarded tone, not understanding what he was being so defensive for. I snap out of that mindset, it isn't my place to ask that about him. I let go of his hands, a smile on my face as I walked over to the medicine cabinet.

“Nope! I'm just helping out the nurse!” I pipe up happily as I take out some gauze and ointment— making marks on what items I used, and for what I needed it for. I had to admit though, it was strange that I kept on running into the student. It's not like there's anything wrong with that, though! I could always use these times to bond with him!

“Hm… Then I need some bandages-”

“That's very obvious. Name?” I interrupted the student— taking out a binder that held the medical records of the student body. The binder was relatively thin since Han Institute was a private school. I flip it open as I wait for the student to tell me his name.

“Se. Se Eun.” Se Eun… What a nice name. I finally had the name of the student who I wanted to be friends with! I find his name, and place the marked sheet into his file before I start to tend to his wounds. I made sure to be as delicate as possible to not irritate the skin— the nurse was the one that taught me on how to correctly wrap wounds! I can't lie to myself, though… I learned first aid to have an excuse to touch Ethan, too…

Se Eun eventually leaves the infirmary to head off to class. I admired him for that— he could've just stayed in the infirmary since his hands were injured! I waved to him, and he waved back! I really was making progress! My happiness was cut short when Ethan stumbled to the infirmary a few minutes later, in a terrible state. What happened this time?!

♡♡♡ Ethan's POV ♡♡♡

“Koa?!”

I was running now, searching for any sign of her— already out of breath. My legs were screaming at me to take a break already, but I couldn't. Not after what I just heard. Was I that blind? Why didn't she say anything? Did I not seem reliable enough for her to lean on? To help her?

Koa… Am I not someone you trust?

…

I was walking with a group of friends— we were all laughing together about a shared story that happened during practice. One of them even managed to take a video of the coach's wig falling off in the midst of his meltdown! While we were walking, I suddenly overheard a conversation between another group of students who were walking in the opposite direction from us.

At first, I didn't pay them any mind— it was a different story when they suddenly mentioned Koa's name. As any best friend would do, I had to listen to them at this point. It was the right thing to do, after all. It was my sworn duty as a boy best friend to know what rumors were centering around my pretty, girl friend.

I haven't seen Koa in a while, too; she was always busy with something. I swear, one of these days; I’ll have to drag her out of the house to go to the park with me. We'd have a nice conversation together, -enjoying each other's company- feed the ducks with some old, stale bread from the back of the pantry, and maybe even have a picnic together like old times! She'd smile at me, -my index finger discreetly swiping along the rim of the bottle her pink lips touched- and I'd smile at her back. My finger, now stained with a sheer, pink tint. Flowers would adorn our heads as we pluck some stray ones out of the ground. And then… When the moment is right, I’d pull her in-

“Tch. How are people even attracted to Koa?”

Excuse me? I did not just hear what I just heard, right? Koa? Sweet, too clueless for her own good, Koa? Who wouldn't be attracted to her?! She's cute, adorable, pretty, smart… smart when it comes to her grades, anyway. Her little doodles are always so silly, enough to brighten anyone's day. No, I'm not at all biased towards my childhood— that I think about every day and night- Okay. Maybe… I may be just a teensy winsy teeny little biased towards the living goddess that's named Koa, but who wouldn't be?!

“How should I know? The bitch is so weak that a little push from me was enough for her to cry.”

“Pft- Be gentle with her. Everyone here knows that she's Se Eun's plaything. What if she decides to tattle on you?”

“What did I do wrong, though? I only reminded the whore of her place. She's worse than an animal, she shouldn't even be allowed to be in the same room as us.”

…What?

I turn back to my friends, my expression slightly dazed— why would anyone say that about Koa? They were still focused on the video, while I was still pondering on what those girls were saying. They were saying it so loudly, unworried about anyone overhearing their petty gossip. I pause in my steps, my friends eventually noticing my absence.

“Hey, man. Is something wrong? Why did you suddenly just stop?”

One of them, Min-woo, stops to question me. I wasn't sure why I stopped, as well. My mind suddenly invaded with unwelcome thoughts of Koa in less than desirable positions. For some reason, I felt the need to dig deeper into this. My gut was telling me that there was something wrong— that I was missing something very important right now.

“...What do you guys hear about Koa?”

“Who?”

My eyes widened at Min-woo's words, surprised by his confused expression. I thought I already introduced Koa to them? Did they already forget her? No… She was at our practice just a few days ago. …Right? She was there, smiling at me happily as I scored another goal in the practice round. She was there… then Se Eun suddenly arrived. I remembered being so distracted with how close they were to each other— unable to focus afterwards.

Koa's body seemed to be more stiff too; I almost threw the ball on the bastard's face in a flash of rage. I hated him, I've hated Se Eun since he was introduced to me by Koa. He was always too close to her, their bodies practically pressing together. Koa would shrink back from him, but Se Eun never seemed to get the message. He violates Koa's boundaries, boundaries that are there for a reason.

“Koa- …Who is this?” I was so happy when Koa told me that she would walk me home from practice. My eyes brighten up when I finally see her figure, ignoring my teammates’ snickers. Psh- They're just jealous that they don't have a pretty best friend to talk to. I stop in my rapid steps when I notice another person sitting with Koa by the shade.

My heart stung a bit when I saw how close they were, a bitter taste on my tongue. I was… I was jealous; fearful of my spot being taken. It's been a while since I've seen Koa, and she's already made a friend! Koa's been steadily changing from the crybaby she was when we were kids; she didn't need my protection anymore.

She's started to open up to more people— finally coming out of her welded shell. I'll admit that I may have been a bit hesitant on letting go of Koa at the very beginning, but I don't regret it. Koa deserves to be free; and it should be a well-known fact that she looks the most beautiful when she's able to soar.

“Ethan! Come meet my new friend!” Koa's pretty eyes sparkle when she notices me, a sweet blush on her cheeks. I shuffle my feet towards the duo… No. Not a duo, that's too much for my saintly, idealistic, holy mindset -that's been the one reason for why I haven't grabbed Koa for myself, yet- to handle! Although… The way my fists were clenched until my knuckles turned white from the grip… that was telling a different story.

“...” The bastard just stays on his phone, too, not even bothering to look up from it. Was this really supposed to be my competition?! The title of best friend was definitely going to stay mine— but the way he had his pinkie finger nearly poking at Koa's? Red filled my vision when I noticed his smug expression. If Koa wasn't here; I would've bitch slapped him, just for the sheer audacity.

“Haha- He doesn't like to talk much… Meet Se Eun!” Oh, Koa… innocent, naive, Koa. There was no way in hell that Se Eun was good news. How was I going to convince Koa to drop him? My resolve to tear her away from Se Eun immediately wavers when she smiles at me so cheerfully. She just looked so proud of herself… Who was I to break it?

“Oh, yes! And he wants to walk with us, too!”

…Motherfucker-

I take a deep breath— thinking that maybe, they just forgot her name. It happens sometimes! I, myself, have had my own fair share of forgotten names. I needed to constantly remind myself that Koa wasn't the center of everyone's universe; even if she definitely should be-

“Koa. The girl who's almost always at practice. You know: straight, black hair, pretty yellow eyes, always writing in a book-”

“Ah! You mean Puppy?”

I resist the urge to strangle Min-woo who had just called Koa by such a degrading name. Koa was definitely cuter than a puppy— but I didn't go around calling her that, now did I? I was about to correct him before one particular comment from another friend of mine, Jeong, caused me to completely lose it.

“I heard everyone wants a piece of that a-”

I didn't even let Jeong finish his sentence before I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt— slamming his back against the wall. I could hear shouts for me to let go of the perverted asshole as I raised him up. My teeth were grinding themselves, my eyes narrowing at him in anger. I could barely hear my teammates practically screaming in my ear; too caught up in my own rage to even think right now.

“Oi! Ethan! What the hell?!”

“Let go of Jeong, man! I think you're choking him right now!”

“We can talk about this, Ethan! You can't just throw hands like that!”

I continue to keep Jeong on his toes, furious for Koa's sake since I knew that she would just brush it off. No. Koa doesn't deserve to be disrespected like this— Koa shouldn't have to be listening to this kind of shit. Everyone wants a piece of her? What is she? Property? My girl friend was human; an individual person who has her own autonomy, her own life.

Koa belongs here, Koa has proven herself to be their equal, time and time again, through her achievements. But the way all of these people were talking about her… They made it sound like she was nothing but an ownerless stray— lessening her worth to being dirt-cheap. They spoke like she wasn't meant for anything more, when she's meant for everything.

“Say that again. I fucking dare you.”

I hiss at Jeong, my grip on his collar tightening to an unbelievable extent. The nerve to make such a derogatory, perverted comment— did Jeong never have a mother who taught him to be respectful to women? If not, then I would happily volunteer myself to be the one that beats the lesson into him. Until the memory is permanently scarred onto his pea-sized brain.

“S-say what? …What the hell- Is this about Puppy?! It's not just me who says that! It's not like we have a chance-”

“Explain.”

I let go of Jeong before he tells me about Koa's predicament— every single incident that I have somehow never noticed. The cruel pranks pulled on her, the physical harassment, the bullying… I stagger back from Jeong, my face paling when I think about what Koa had to suffer through, alone. My nails were digging into my palms; almost to the point of nearly piercing through the calloused skin. I couldn't believe it. What right did I have, to call myself her best friend, when I didn't even know about the torture she has to go through, everyday? I felt like a failure, like an idiot.

Koa… Why didn't you say anything..?

“There's also all that shit with Se-”

I didn't even hear his last words, my legs already moving to search for Koa. All I could think was that my helpless Koa -infamous for staying silent- stayed silent. My sweet Koa who always just smiled through everything, no matter how much it hurt— even if it started to bleed through her clothing, her pain, so obvious. Koa, who could never speak out for herself, unable to ever find the courage to ask for help. …Koa… the one I neglected because I blindly believed in her words. I believed my best friend, who is known to tell lies that only wound her.

…I’m such a fool in love.

“Koa?! Koa! Where the hell are you?!”

I ran through the hallways, not giving a single damn about the hall monitor's warnings about running indoors. I needed to see Koa; I needed to know, by how much, did I really fail her. …By how much I failed us.

Have I really been that detached from Koa? I remember a time when I would know her entire schedule by heart— never having to search this hard for even a glimpse of her hair. Only because we were practically attached to the hip; the both of us clinging onto each other, like a lifeline, during the most miserable time of our lives. Now… Now I can see just how far Koa has really drifted away from me. I can now see that we weren't as close as we were in the past. Koa was able to keep such secrets from me because I didn't pry, like before— because I didn't stay, like before.

“Koa!”

“...Ethan?”

My distress finally lifts when I hear her melodic voice; after everything that happened— it felt like it's been years since we've last seen each other. Since I've been able to talk to Koa, since I've been able to look at her. I breathe a sigh in relief, finally finding her after running all around the campus like a madman. I was sweating heavily, my breathing erratic as I greedily sucked in as much air as I physically could. My limbs felt like they were on fire at this point, but it was only through sheer will and adrenaline— that I was able to move myself closer to Koa.

“Koa! Thank God, I've heard about-”

…Oh.

So that's how it was… I freeze in my steps when I finally see Koa's current state, my eyes widening in horror at the sight. Koa was drenched, from head to toe in some kind of opaque liquid— it smelled like milk. The worst part wasn't that she smelled like milk now… No. The worst part was the way her shirt clung to her skin; the way her white blouse exposed her blemished skin to everyone. My heart twisted from the medley of wounds she had: green and purple bruises, dark red teeth marks… burns. Cigarette burns.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to punch the wall until my knuckles turned bloody. I wanted to hurt myself as if the act would take all of Koa's pain away. I wanted to throw up everything in my stomach when Koa only smiled at me— the same smile that I knew all too well, that held years of pain in it. The same smile that I both adore and hate, a plethora of memories filled it.

Don't smile. How can you even smile right now? You don't have to be strong, Koa. Just lean on me for once. …Please… I’m begging you. Don't smile at me when you're like this.

“Ethan… I thought you were busy today?”

I could listen to her voice for ages— I didn't even think that there was a single way for me to possibly get tired of her. Koa could be speaking to me in hieroglyphics, and I'd still nod along to anything she said. Koa was a precious person to me, but that's also why it hurts me more to see her so damaged. Koa was an untouchable being in my eyes; seemingly unstained from reality when she was just as tainted.

Appearing as a savior, and leaving as a martyr— that's the usual ending for someone with Koa's kindness. Sometimes… Sometimes I forget that she knows far more than she lets on. That she's seen, first-hand with me, just how much humanity tends to turn to sin in a hopeless situation.

“Koa…”

I croak out, my body trembling as I slowly walk up to Koa. I had to, both mentally and physically, stop myself from grabbing Koa by the shoulders. My tears welled up in my eyes, our eyes locked together— an inexplicable sorrow replacing what was left of my fading frustration. My heart was loudly pounding into my eardrums; I could clearly hear the blood flow cycling through my head.

“E-E-Ethan?!”

I could almost see Koa's panicked expression as I collapsed onto my knees; my head lowered in shame. Tears streamed down my face as I cried. Why was I so unaware? Would it have even made a difference if I knew about it? Was I that useless? I've been too confident— too sure of my ability to protect Koa, when I've already failed in the very thing I constantly boast about. What white knight? I was nothing more than a fool; a fool who was stupid enough to believe that he was worth something more— just because of some shiny medals he luckily won.

“Oh god- E-Ethan! What's wrong?! Are y-you hurt-?”

“Look at yourself first, Koa.”

I finally raise my head up, my red-rimmed eyes matching Koa's current ones. Ah… She's been crying again. I notice how she flinches at my comment, her head hanging low for some reason. Why? Was she ashamed?

No… Koa… Keep your head lifted up. Why is it lowered? You're not the one who needs to be humbled.

“...Ethan-”

“Can't you feel it? God, Koa. Some of these must have even bled-”

I couldn't even finish my words, my throat immediately stuck when I watched Koa starting to tear up. I watched as her eyes turned glassy once more— Koa just looked so fragile at the moment, like she was a vase that would shatter if it was dropped one last time. It was hard to imagine anyone handling Koa roughly; she was too delicate to be pushed around like that. And yet she suffered through so much more…

“Let me explain-”

“Who did this to you?”

I don't let Koa speak, I already knew what kind of excuses she would pull out of her ass. I've been with her, stayed by her side for long enough— to know about her self-sacrificing personality towards other people. I've scolded her, for this, countless times; I even yelled at her! Well… We were both eight at the time— but it still counts! Even if I never did it again after it took me literal hours to get Koa to stop crying; I swear, she can never run out of tears for some reason. She even made me cry with her because of the stress she put on my little eight-year-old brain!

Koa never seemed to learn her lesson: blindly trustful and kind to the people who shouldn't even be allowed to breathe in the same air as her. I bit so many ankles -when we were kids- because assholes have to exist— I was a feral child, growing up.

“W-what do you mean-”

“Koa... I'm begging you here. Y-you need help. It doesn't have to be from me, but fuck-! You have to tell someone.”

My words tasted bitter on my tongue, the thought of Koa going to someone else… That made me want to grind down on my teeth. I wanted Koa to look for me first if she's ever troubled by anything. I'd drop everything for her— whatever she wanted: a shoulder to cry on, a person who will listen to her as she vents, someone to tend to her injuries.

Heck‐! I'd still drop everything if she just wanted to sleep on my lap. Koa has been my priority for practically my whole, conscious life by now— and that part will never change.

I wasn't selfish, but I also wasn't selfless. Even if I hated it, I'd still let Koa go to someone else for help— but it didn't mean that I had to like it. My tears continued to fall as I slowly tugged on the hem of Koa's blazer. I'd hate it, but Koa would be safe, then. She'd be safe… just not with me.

Koa was just silent, I could tell that her mask was slipping. I needed her to be vulnerable with someone— anyone. Her tears have long since come out like mine; her entire body trembling as she collapses onto her knees as well. She hesitantly looked me in the eye, her next words making me snap.

“I'm fine-”

“Bullshit!”

“Ethan-”

“Look at yourself! You look like a mess!”

Koa was a mess— I could now see her wounds more closely, now that she was kneeling next to me. My stomach churned uncomfortably at what I painfully observed: hickeys littered across her neck and chest, purple marks around Koa's throat, -as if someone strangled her until she passed out- there were multiple, large green and purple regions on her stomach, and the sides of her torso— like she was kicked until she had to throw up. …Small, circular burns could be seen, too…

I even identified the current state of Koa's face: worn off foundation showed hints of a black eye slowly healing, her once pink lips, now a darker purple than usual, -smooth lips now cracked and ripped to practical shreds- and her tears washed away the concealer that carefully hid her eye bags.

My fingers curl into tight fists— Koa's been hurt like this? Why? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she come to me when she first got assaulted? When she first got strangled? When she first got burned? …Why didn't she say anything?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?!

“But-”

“How far did they go, Koa? Was it more than one person? For god's sake, Koa- Why won't you tell me anything?! Tell me so I can beat their ass for you! You can't possibly be trying to defend them right now-”

“Ethan!”

I get cut off by Koa; I get cut off by Koa yelling at me. She yelled at me. She yelled at me because I wanted to defend her honor, her pride. I want to help Koa… So why does she have to keep shutting me out?

…Why?

Koa doesn't say anything more, her tears saying enough to me. Koa didn't want me to do anything— she didn't want me to help. Koa… Koa didn't want me.

It took me a moment to realize my blood dripping onto the marble flooring. I didn't even care that we were in the middle of the hallways; I didn't care that everyone was watching us now. I cared about Koa, I could only think about Koa at the moment. My tears stained my cheeks as I begged her to tell me. A name, a place- Fuck! I would even take a hair color at this point!

“Koa- Please- Just tell me-”

“Koa.”

A voice interrupts me, a voice that was deeper than Koa's own choked-up one. It was a voice that I was painfully familiar with— the smug tone, the barely concealed malice in his words. Se Eun.

I was about to yell at him to leave, but then I noticed how Koa started acting. Her breathing turned irregular; her entire body, now trembling in fear… Him? It was him, then? It was Se Eun?! I knew that he was a terrible person from the start— only proven to be correct when he joined into the weekly beatings between me and the wannabe gangsters at this damn school. I should've said something to Koa, but she just looked so happy with him… Delighted with her first friend in this hellhole.

…Fuck. I'm a hypocrite.

“Se Eun!”

I scream out in anger, red flooding my vision. I reacted in the only way I could. I react violently, volatile to every single thing that Se Eun does: whether he moves a single inch closer, or he decides to spill his bullshit out. I get up from the floor, immediately grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. The monster only looks past me, staring at Koa instead. That only irritated me more— I wasn't going to let him hurt Koa any more than he already did. No. It won't happen again.

“You don't have the fucking right to look at her anymore.”

I hissed at him, roughly slamming Se Eun's back against the wall. A sick glee crashing over me before I stomped it out. No… This one was for Koa. This was about Koa's pride, not mine.

The bastard only winces in pain before his eyes finally meet mine. Those same, soulless pitch-black eyes causing my skin to crawl. Was this guy seriously the so-called ‘hottest’ person on campus right now? The people here must be blind if this creep show was considered to be popular. In my neighborhood, fuckers like him would end up in a ditch somewhere.

“Koa. Come here.”

My teeth just grind at Se Eun's audacity; he was acting as if nothing was happening. He ignored my words, yet he kept his eye-contact with me. The demon was taunting me, he was silently telling me that I didn't stand a chance against him. My fists only tighten around his collar, one wrong move away from punching the smirk off his disgusting face.

“Like hell she would-”

The words die on my tongue when I see that Koa did exactly that. I could only watch as Koa shakily stood up from the floor. I gaped when I saw Koa walking up to us, her body language clearly telling me that she didn't want to be doing this at all. Her face was paler than usual, her legs looked a step away from collapsing on themselves.

I let go of Se Eun's collar, turning my full attention towards Koa, I needed to know why. Why was she doing this? Was she getting threatened? Coerced? There was no way that any of this was voluntary, her glassy eyes showing off her reluctance.

I block Koa's way, standing between her and Se Eun— she looks at me with an expression that conveys nothing less than pure, unfiltered misery. I stare at her, my own eyes mirroring Koa's depressed ones. The beautiful sun-lit amber that I've grown used to, have all but turned into a dull, rusted copper. Beautiful… but in a gloomy statement— like it was something to be mourning.

I slowly made a move, -letting Koa see where my hands were, enough time for her to move back- grabbing at the sleeve of her blazer. My voice sounded pathetic at this point, but I didn't care. I just wanted to let Koa know that she didn't have to do this, that she will always have me by her side.

“Koa… Please don't…”

“Koa.”

Se Eun had to ruin the moment with his big mouth; his voice was basically demanding for Koa. It was disrespectful and humiliating, the way he called for her as if she were a dog. Was he the reason for Koa's nickname? I wouldn’t even be surprised at this point. My jaw clenches in annoyance, turning my head to glare at the nerve of this bitch. I tried to convince Koa again, but Se Eun seemed to scare her too much…

I had no chance.

Koa pulled her sleeve out of my loose grip— a part of me shattering beyond repair once I was gripping onto nothing but air. Koa goes around me; I didn't even have the energy to get angry when Se Eun's arm instantly wraps itself around her waist. Koa hates being touched, yet Se Eun never seemed to care… I wanted to beg Koa to stay, but Koa's next words kept my mouth tightly shut.

“...We'll talk later, Ethan.”

…She didn't even look back at me when she said it. Se Eun pulled her along with him, -far too roughly- but I didn't detect her head moving a single inch back in my direction. I was speechless, my hand dumbly reaching out for Koa, even if her figure was nowhere to be found.

Only one word was uttered— the name of the girl who's been by my side for ages. The girl that I love with my entire soul, and the girl that I don't deserve. My tears fall again, my palms still bloody as I continue to dig into the fresh wounds. My head was lowered in shame; shame that was well deserved for my ignorance— and for being too late.

“...Koa.”

♡♡♡ Se Eun's POV ♡♡♡

I wanted to scream when someone stopped Koa in the middle of the hallways. The piece of shit came up to my wife, confessing to her, while I was standing right there. I internally sneered at the disgustingly gaudy letter: obnoxious, golden hearts scattered throughout it, and a messy handwriting that, I was somehow able to determine, included Koa's name. The absolute gall of this dunce— writing my wife's blessed name in such a mediocre print? I'd destroy him; just because of such a defilement.

The bastard was fucking lucky that Koa rejected him, or else I wouldn't have hesitated to throw his cold, rotten body off a bridge. He did not deserve to receive the love of my life's gentle words, almost immediately shaking her head at his request. I wanted nothing more than to dig out the eyes that dared to gaze upon my wife's— those same eyes that tainted Koa with his filth.

The rat didn't even have the chance to convince Koa otherwise; not while I was angrily glaring from behind her. It was honestly annoying that such low-ranking scum had the fucking balls to believe that they had a chance with the angelic being that, fortunately, made her way into my dull life.

“Koa. Why did you reject him?” I asked her curiously once we continued in our walk— the vermin finally scurrying away at my silent threat. He obviously wouldn't be as good as me, but a guy like him is the typical dream for girls with Koa's status. So why would she refuse what may be her one chance to get out of poverty?

Koa only hums, her feet not stopping at all as her hands go behind her back. She turns to me, looking only at me for the moment. My breath embarrassingly hitching at her soft look— I blushed as if I didn't spend my free time, constantly in whores who would kneel at my command. I had to discreetly adjust my trousers when my love's back arched forward, cutely tilting her head to one side. I could be directly staring into a woman's bare pussy right now— and my lovely wife's present, endearing posture would still arouse me more.

I was infatuated with Koa… and I've long since realized that I wanted those bright, starry amber eyes to never stray away from being only mine. No matter who or what, tries to get in my way; I'll eliminate every other choice she has, until I'm the only option left. I didn't want to witness such a grotesque confession again, so I needed to start marking my territory…

“Why wouldn't I? I don't like him.” My wife's words snapped me out of my deliberations, I had to force myself to hold in a laugh. Pft- Only Koa would think so naively— did she not think about the benefits to using the deep pockets of that pest? My clueless wife really was too good for this world if that's what her answer was. …Ergo, I should make sure to lock her up real tight when the time comes.

The idea of Koa being only mine, it made me hot inside. A manic gleam flashing in my eyes, before it left as quickly as it came. I continued to muse at her innocent words, listening to her nonsensical rambling as we walked through the now empty corridors. My wife was just so lovely~

“Work harder, dog.”

I snap at Koa coldly, pulling onto the leather belt around her neck. My lack of mercy evokes a pained gasp from Koa— as her nose is pressed against my clothed groin. A shudder runs throughout my entire body, groaning while grinding onto her face. My head, thrown back as I drove her face into my trousers— the abrupt tug of Koa's makeshift collar causing her throat to strain against the leather.

I breathe out an annoyed sigh, my teeth still grinding at the memory of seeing her and that impoverished bastard together. It seems that I've grown lax due to her good behavior; Koa needed to remember who was really in charge here— because it certainly isn't her. I can only be so patient with a rebellious wife, after all.

Koa's lips part open, but not because she was finally putting that fucking mouth to use. No. She decided to open up her good-for-nothing mouth, to say a bitch-ass excuse, which would simply serve to irritate me further.

“I-I'm s-s-sorry, Se-”

“Don't. You already know what I want from you.”

I crudely interrupt Koa's pathetic stammering; her sniffles doing nothing but exciting me more. She only whimpered farther when I yanked onto my leather belt again. I could feel myself hardening already, painfully straining against the trousers’ fabric as Koa falls on top of it. I lean back from upon my seat as I spread my legs— waiting for my love to finally get to work. Koa's pretty lips were trembling as her hands fumbled with the zipper. It was fucking hilarious to see her so tense.

I grin at her pitiful attempts, my cheeks flushed at the sight of my wife kneeling in front of me. I had to chuckle as I pulled Koa towards me again— forcing her to fall face-first into my lap. I click my tongue at Koa, my voice adopting a mocking tone, while my hand reaches for her chin.

“Ah, ah, ah~ I don't think dogs use their paws…”

I coo at her as I force my lovely puppy to lean into me more— grabbing onto my love's face to pull her up higher. Her lovely tears start to fall again as I push my thumb into the corner of her mouth. My thumb lightly tapped against Koa's cute, little teeth as I mercilessly belittled her.

“Use your mouth, dog. Are you that dumb?”

My thumb swirls around her tongue; her tears dripping onto my fingers. I could only smile at my idiotic wife's adorable expression, wanting to kiss all her tears away— lapping up the salty liquid that stained her cheeks. Koa looked the most beautiful when she was below me, always within my grasp at all times.

My little pet whimpers as I take my thumb out of her mouth— smearing her drool all across her cheek. My cheeks weren't the only ones that were red at this point; the love of my life's cheeks were also bright with an alluring redness to them. They made me want to paint her rear in that same, beautiful color. Her songs of pain, music to my ears— pretty reds and purples blossomed on my precious wife's skin.

Our eyes lock together; my wife's glassy eyes taking a moment before dropping from mine. My smirk just grows as the scared puppy obediently lowers her head towards my trousers’ zipper. My wife's pretty knuckles were noticeably pale from clenching her fists far too tightly— adorably trembling in front of me so deliciously. I couldn't help myself at all. Is it that terrible to desire my sweet pet if her body intensely shakes that fucking much in my presence? As though I'm preparing to devour her entirety, bones and all?

A satisfied groan leaves me as I hear the clinking of my wife's teeth against the silver. Fuck, why did she have to be so adorable? The way she practically vibrated between my legs made me want to just bend her over and- …In summary, my wife was just too pretty to keep my hands to myself.

…

“Do you know what you did wrong now, my love~?”

My wife just moans as I rub myself against her wet folds; I could even slide myself in, without her even knowing, at this point. She kept on protesting against me, yet she always dripped down my fingers -like a fucking slut- whenever I played with her. I could only deduce -from her demeanor- that my lovely wife wanted this too— she was just too shy for her own good.

“Hic- I-I'm s-so-RRY!”

I slap her clit carelessly, reveling in the sound of her panicked breaths and hiccups that littered her sobs. My wife was such a darling, always having the ability to turn me on— no matter what type of shit she does. Yes… her tears really were cute. They always taste so addictively salty whenever I lap them up from my wife's cheeks; her body always tensing from what should be surprise. She really was too fucking cute for her own good. I couldn't wait until she would be only mine to talk to, to touch… to see.

“Hmm? Do you even know how you angered me?”

I grab onto a fistful of my wife's pretty hair, groaning with delight when I hear such pathetic whimpers coming from her. A chuckle leaves from me as her teary eyes meet mine; every bit of me wanting to see more and more of that pretty expression. My tone was cold, despite my face having an almost feverish temperature to it.

“...Who knows? Maybe you're just praying that I would be satisfied by those delectable lips of yours? Those same lips that do nothing but lie to their own master? You can be such a comedian sometimes, my love~ Did you really think that I, Se Eun, would be so desperate for you? Desperate to the point of wanting, no, craving your half-assed apologies?”

“N-no- I'm sorry- I-I'm so-”

“Then why are you sorry, Koa? Why don't you define what exactly you're fucking apologizing for?”

I lean my body closer to her, feeling her limbs twitch from underneath me. My wife was just lying on the desk: her skirt pulled up to her waist, blouse unbuttoned, underwear discarded, and her bra pushed up to reveal her modest breast. It was as if she wanted to be fucked by me with how cute she always acts. I moved my face nearer, until I could see how my pretty wife's eyelashes fluttered as she cried. My lips meet my wife's lips in a sweet manner— biting onto the soft flesh until I could taste bitter iron on my tongue.

My tongue shoves itself into my wife's cute mouth, our saliva mixing until it’s impossible to separate them from each other. Like how our taste melded together, I wanted Koa to be mixed into me— to the point of where she would be fucking nothing without me. As I recklessly bite, lick, and devour my wife's lips; certain thoughts start to swirl inside my head. Thoughts of wanting Koa to be only mine, only smiling at me, only looking at me.

Love me, Koa. You won't ever need anyone else but me. For my name is Se Eun, and I promise to always love you, both in this life and the next… Till not even death will do us part.

“I-I-”

I don't let Koa continue, wanting her mouth all to myself— nothing but my tongue to keep her company. I even felt jealous of the shitty words that were spoken into existence by her pretty, pink lips. I only watched as my wife's eyes flickered between: lust, fear, and confusion; swallowing her pitiful whimpers when I bite just a bit too hard.

“I-I… C-close to E-Ethan-”

A loud slap rings across the room; a bright red mark found on my wife's face for daring to utter another shitty man's name in front of her husband— her lover. My eyes, dark as I grabbed onto her face; not at all gentle in the manner, with how I jerked her chin up to me. Koa’s lips just twist into such an adorable grimace as I purposefully apply even more pressure onto her increasingly sore cheek— her tears only falling more because the bruise I aggravated.

“Did you have permission to say another man's name, dog?”

I hiss out in a frigid tone, keeping a tight grip on my wife's face. My breath quickened as I felt my anger slowly growing into a volatile storm— frustrated by the memory of seeing her and that motherfucker together. I only felt satisfaction when I saw her tears falling from the pain. There was no remorse coming from me; not a single hint of guilt found on my face while glaring at my wife's glossy eyes— only raw, unadulterated rage. How dare she? How dare she fucking talk to another person without my explicit permission?

My lovely wife… Let's play a little game together~

“N-no-”

“Then continue.”

“I-I talked to a-another person-”

“And who was this other person?”

My disobedient wife's lips snap shut at my question; her eyes widening once she finally realizes what her punishment will be. A smug smile appears on my face as a distressed expression appears on my wife's. Laughter builds up in my chest when she shakily reaches her hand up to my shirt— missing me by a few centimeters.

“P-please…”

Her voice takes on a desperate tone, doing nothing but making me want her more. What my wife thought would be enough to dissuade me… only served to increase my already excessive excitement. Really. She had to stop being so adorable all the fucking time— I'm honestly afraid of dying early with how insatiable I am when it comes down to my cute as fuck wife. I still had an overly-excessive grip on her pretty face— still close enough to have a clear idea of her current scent: a mixture between toasted cinnamon and a shitty confectionery sweet. It was a cheapass scent that I would only enjoy from my wife's pretty skin; skin that I have thoroughly marked as fucking mine, and only mine.

“Name.”

“S-Se Eun-”

“Name.”

“I-I-”

“Don't make me repeat myself a third time, dog.”

You love that name, right? Then I'll make sure to overwrite those “pure” memories of yours— till nothing but pain and sorrow remain… I'll ensure that you're never able to be comforted by the mention of HIS name again.

I'll hurt you so fucking badly with HIS name, because only my name should give you even the smallest bit of respite you desire. …I'll be your safe place, Koa; and the reason for it, too.

I watch as my wife silently sobs; her words a jumbled mess of what I can easily imagine to be pleadings for mercy. Mercy that I won't be giving her— mercy that she doesn't fucking deserve. I felt heated by the way she shook in my grip; every single inch of her making my mouth water.

“S-Se Eun…”

“I wasn't mad at myself, Koa.”

My dull eyes stay on my wife's face, unmoved by her tears— a smile, frozen on my lips. The dog finally stops whimpering when my grip eases from her chin. But her cries only get louder when my hand trails down to her neck; a warning squeeze, placed onto her throat to remind my pretty dog of her place now.

I could see the very moment when the fight eventually left my wife, her pretty eyes turning as dull as mine. Such a pretty copper suited her— far better than a cheap amber that held no value in the real world. My smile only widens at the sight as I start to squeeze onto my wife’s throat harder; I absolutely loved how she didn’t try to resist this time, too tired to do anything at all.

“Tell me, Koa.”

“...Ethan.”

The way she said the bastard’s name made me want to laugh right then and there— so hopeful, yet defeated at the same time. My grip on my wife’s cute throat starts to leave blue marks as the rhythm in her chest starts to stagger. I didn’t care if she couldn’t breathe, though; I knew when to stop before my wife passed out. We’ve had plenty of practice, after all.

I lean my lips closer to my wife’s ear, as I quietly whisper into her ear; my voice soft as if I was about to tell her a deeply guarded family secret. My other hand starts to lovingly stroke my wife’s cheek, like how a person would do to a dog— a cruel glint in my eyes. One hand was still busy choking her, while the other was being so gentle with her face; a drastic parallel that perfectly mirrored the love I had for my beautiful pet.

“What did I say about another man’s name coming out of your pretty mouth, again?”

OH MY GOD- THIS TOOK TOO LONG- (WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF??? TT)

THIS WILL BE A TEN CHAPTER SERIES THAT WILL BE POSTED INCONSISTENTLY. NOTE. INCONSISTENTLY. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK- I YEARN FOR ACKNOWLEDGWMENT AND COMMENTS. (don't be mean though. I cry easily.) (。･´д`･。)

Ack- I gotta tag now-

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AHHHH THIS REMINDS ME OF A MANGA I READ- HOLD UP- I GOT A HELLA GOOD BLURB TO GO WITH THIS- *** I've always been a rough lover— my lips doing more than just warning you of how I'll make you forget your own name whenever you're alone with me. My hands grabbing onto whatever they can while my canines pierce your skin. The taste of your blood, a tribute to my undying obsession towards you. Everything of yours tastes like the nectar of gods that the old priests have once praised. I can't help but get lost in you: your flavor, the way your skin flushes so seductively— it's like you want me to lose control. Your eyes seem to be begging for me to meld our bodies together; until there is only us, until there is no more of just you and just me. I'm gone by the time my marks have been scattered all over you— beautiful bruises that contain a medley of colors, both old and new. If you were to ask me where my favorite place is; it would be between your thighs. I could spend hours there, my hands bruising your delicate skin without any thought. My ears listening to every single one of your sweet noises: every squelch, every whimper, every time you shamelessly ask me for more. I love those times with you the most, when you're completely raw and vulnerable to me. Crying to me like I would to you. My favorite taste, though? It would be your ring finger. I remember the first time I bit it— as proof of our union, our bond as soulmates. The way my tongue would be filled with iron, but the thought of you being mine forever... Unable to ever truly remove the evidence of my love... It's addicting. So when you ask me if I'm starving... I am. I'm starving for every night when I renew our vows. My teeth piercing into the soft, scarred flesh of your left ring finger once again. The scar comforts me— tending to rub my fingers against the bleeding skin after we're done. My voice whispering praise after praise for you as I gently wipe away your tears. And when you look away for a second... That's when my tongue darts out to lick my lips clean of your blood, savoring the taste that I love so much. *** GOD. THAT WAS A LOT MORE THAN I EXPECTED. Still slayed it, though ^^

“You kiss like you’re starving.”

Hahaha I am.

I want to eat you.

I want to savor you.

I want to sink into you.

I want to feel you.

I want to salivate over you.

I want to consume you, body and soul.

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Hiiii!

Just wanted to say your acc is sooo cute I luv the design of it🎀!!!

An ask- Someone gave me an ask- God I'm so happy right now- First of all. *clears throat.* THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!! I GOT INSPIRATION FROM THE OTHER YANDERE CREATORS!! I like solid and simple colors too! (Pink is primary because it's mi favorita! ♡♡♡) @lolawhyfangirl thank you so much!! I've been acknowledged- Crying right now- Sobbing even- This feels like my first comment on YouTube- Anyways- Thank you again. I'm kneeling to you right now fyi- I'm over the clouds right now- (this is making me want to post again-)

(*≧∇≦)ﾉ♡♡♡

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-

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how do you think if these things 😭😭😭

Well Anon... my mind is a confusing space. (I also read one too many toxic bl manhwas and manhuas-) I'm totally sane! I think- Is anyone sane if they use Tumblr? I think not. Oh! And I also consume lots of dark romance media that probably violate the Geneva Convention somehow! Yeah... You can also think of these things for the simple price of your sanity and 99 cents! Jk. You just need to give up your sanity. It's free!

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OH MY GOD- UNDC7BEXUNZEIN- KISSES FOR YOU TOO- (GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-)

( °∇^)］@lolawhyfangirl

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head