(why Are You Still) Call(ing) Me Baby(?)

(why are you still) call(ing) me baby(?)

soundtrack <3

pairing: tetsurou kuroo x f. reader

content: fluff, crack humor, kuroo acts like a (jealous) loser virgin LOL, way too many pet names, it girl energy reader !!!

warnings: swearing, jealous kuroo, misunderstandings, ooc. dry humor kinda but idk. it's weird i'm weird.

word count: .8k

part one.

kuroo actively avoids you until his first break, at which point he's forced to sit near you.

"isn't that too big for you?" he asks when the silence gets comfortable enough. you shrug, tugging the jacket in question tighter around yourself.

"i dunno, they didn't have any spares in my size so they just gave me one of yours."

in that exact moment, kuroo has an epiphany. the world stops moving, and so many things change.

"you can keep it," he forces out with a (fake) cough. a large hand comes up to cover his mouth, but also the dark red blush on his cheeks. "i have like, four of them."

"thanks, baby!"

kuroo's heart does a weird little jump; he chokes on his water and makes an excuse about needing to go to the bathroom.

in the bathroom, he remembers the concept of box breathing. he is forever indebted to whoever discovered it. however, it does not help in the slightest when you accost him as soon as he prepares to go back to the court; there are some things you don't understand! kuroo, baby, you're the captain, so you should definitely help me out here!

he swears under his breath, yes i'm coming, what do you need?

you're pleasantly surprised and a little put off that the effect has worn off this fast. (actually, kuroo's thumb is digging into the palm of his hand, and he thinks he might suffocate.) not to mention, he hasn't picked up any of the (admittedly too-subtle) hints yes been dropping.

okay, next course of action.

"wait, kuroo—"

"yeah?"

"i just realised that, um, yeah you're the captain so it's best to ask you, but also you're the captain, so i'm sure you're suuuuper busy!"

you don't let him get another word in, flitting over to kenma, who's crouched down on the floor, and start talking to him, and your heads are so close together.

kenma is his best friend. he should not dislike kenma. he should not feel jealous of kenma. yet right now, that's exactly what he's doing, exactly what he's feeling. kuroo grits his teeth and pries his eyes away from where they've been burning holes into the back of kenma's head.

"damn, he looked away?" kenma.

"yeah, i guess he doesn't really like me as much as you thought," you sigh.

"stupid, that's not true."

"but—"

you're interrupted by the sound of a volleyball slamming onto the ground. it's louder than any of the ones you've heard before, and slightly terrifying to experience up close.

"woah, kuroo, that was a mean spike!" yamamoto looks excited, but kuroo seems more annoyed than pleased by his success.

"it's fine," he responds sourly. "could be better."

but his junior doesn't seem to notice, coming up to kuroo with a pumped up grin. "no, dude, seriously—"

"i get it!" he snaps. "i don't care."

yamamoto blinks, then slowly backs away. "oh, okay..."

kenma looks away to shield his face from kuroo's eyes, and subsequently to hide the evil smile that's stretching across his face. "see? he's mad."

"maybe he's just annoyed because i'm annoying!"

"you're fucking delusional."

you smile fondly at him, ignoring the insult after years of getting used to them. but that's from your point of view. what kuroo in his deluded haze of jealousy sees is completely different — why are you and kenma so close all of a sudden? and kenma knows he likes you! how could he?

kenma pats your shoulder and gets up, walking towards kuroo with a wry but self-satisfied smirk. kuroo begins to think of ways he can kill kenma and then himself with the ball in his hands as fast as he can. unfortunately, his best friend (and worst enemy) makes it to his side uninjured.

"what's gotten you so pissed off today?"

"nothing, i'm fine," he replies through gritted teeth. it is very obvious that he is in fact, not fine at all. hate permeates him to the core, hands gripping the volleyball like he'll die if he lets go.

kenma snickers, noticing kuroo's glare and white knuckles. "jealous?"

"of course not." one of his eyes begins to twitch; he stares straight ahead and refuses to look at kenma.

he hears a sardonic laugh beside him. "stupid, we were talking about you."

"as if." kuroo's given up on trying to deny anything anymore, but he's still mad.

"no, really," kenma replies. kuroo turns to him with a surprised frown, and kenma shrugs. "so stop being weird, or whatever, kuro."

uncharacteristically, he also pokes kuroo's side; once he sees the venomous look in his eyes he takes off running, videogame console clutched tightly in his hands.

sitting beside lev, you watch the two of them run in circles around the court. a notepad rests in your lap, and you bite the top of your pen thoughtfully. "i dunno, lev, that didn't seem to work either."

"maybe it's time for a new plan," he suggests.

"yeah, maybe."

author's note :: mid writing much apologies <3 written series r insane i like. havent done one in almost a year (yuji x reader u will always be,, something to me). mm kuroo mmfghh jealous kuroo mmmmmfhghhfhgfh jealous and ANGRY kuroo he's so. i would let him. yk.

@chososcamgirl @stillnotherapy gc poops hi <3

OOH IF THERES A TAGLIST ID LOVE TO BE IN IT but also like write (ur prompts??) i guess? if thats okay LOL

RAAHHH I WANNA DO FLUFFTOBER BUT I KNOW ILL LOSE MOTIVATION WHAT THE HELLLLL

the “pleasure to have in class” to overly active tumblr user pipeline

thinking about tailor!nanami …. suggestive!

you’re tasting coffee on his lips while he hopes they aren’t chapped. such a gentleman—isn’t he? even when he’s breaking the rules.

getting frisky in the dressing room wasn’t how he expected today to go. especially when you called the boutique at three, requesting “anyone but nanami” to fit your shirt for you. but he wasn’t complaining. you whisked him away after his coworker took your clothes. sure, it’s cramped and dim. but even if he had something to say, you were keeping him busy.

his hand slides up, lingering on your inner thigh, where your skin meets his. kento’s arms fell asleep a long time ago, yet now they move on their own. the hushed talks on the other side of the wall fail to reach his ears.

with a glow that definitely wasn’t there before, you smile up at him as he stares down.

“ken, you’ll fix my dress tomorrow too, won’t you?”

the customer is always right.

masterlist

BAROU UGLY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

typed fein instead of feign