THE WAY I CACKLED

THE WAY I CACKLED

I've read this like 25 times and every time I get butterflies all over again<3

[02:18 am]: seo changbin

“binnie, are you still awake?”

“hmm.”

there’s a silence, changbin seemingly going back to sleep while you try to decide on the best way to get him to agree to your late night escapade plan you’ve been brooding over for the last hour.

it’s not your fault you can’t sleep, and some convenience store ramen or some cheap burger do sound incredibly tempting right now. if only your hunk of a boyfriend wasn’t such a sleepy head, that is.

well, it is 2 am, to be fair. a perfectly reasonable time to be sleepy. also a perfectly reasonable time to get stuffed with junk food on an empty playground, talking about dating worms or the possibility of different universes.

or whatever it is those aesthetic #couplegoals couples do.

you shuffle closer to him, wrapping yourself around him, effectively making him the little spoon. he hums appreciatively, though sleepy, and you can feel his hand come up to rest over yours, lacing your fingers together. you decide to butter him up a little, resorting to littering some kisses on his back, slowly working your way up to his neck.

changbin knows you. he knows your strategy, he’s familiar with your tactics to get him to give in. with a sleepy grumble he frees himself from your grip, turning around to be face to face with you. if he didn’t know that you were about to ask for something he knows he definitely doesn’t feel like doing, he’d coo at you for looking at him so sweetly.

“spit it out,” he grumbles, voice scratchy from sleep, eyes hazy and unfocused. you pout a little from the accusatory tone he has, as justified as it might be, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, “what’s that supposed to mean, bin?”

he observes you for a bit, hand eventually coming up to cup your cheek, his eyes carrying a soft look in them now. “baby, we both know you want something. so please, just tell me,” he murmurs, shuffling so your faces are closer, noses practically touching.

placing a few gentle kisses to his lips, your last ditch effort to soften him up enough to agree, “can we go get some snacks? maybe some fries? or ice cream, you were craving ice cream yesterday baby.”

changbin stares at you, his eyes darting all over your face in a desperate attempt to find even the tiniest hint of humour or mischief on your face. “now? now at,” he lifts his head, eyes squinting to read the time on the alarm clock on the bed side table, “at 2 in the morning? baby, really?”

you just nod sheepishly, wrapping your arms around him again and placing a lingering kiss to his jaw. “i think it would be fun.” changbin sighs, closing his eyes in a futile attempt of drowning you out, because every one of your kisses is slowly chipping away at his resolve.

does he want to go out at two in the morning? no, he doesn’t. there is no reason for him to be outside that late, especially not when he could be in bed with you, all cuddled up, warm and cozy instead.

and his love for that warm and cozy feeling is the exact reason he lowly grumbles while getting out of bed, feet dragging against the floor while he searches for a hoodie for you to put on — because it’s the same feeling he gets when you look at him with that lovestruck smile on your face, the same one he knows you’ll give him once you’re happily munching on your ramen later.

“we’re getting ramen.”

part of the bucketlist boyfriends series

*i can’t link it since it won’t show up in tags if i do </3

I CACKLED

skz as shit ive heard people in uni say

chan: imo third base is going to her ex's funeral

lee know: *leaving sticky notes for the uni library* thanks for the smut! 

changbin: i fuckin love my gym bros they all look like freshly baked buns ready to be eaten with honey

han: i can't let people know i text ai in my free time

hyunjin: i can only whore around women but jokingly which is SAD BECAUSE I WANNA WHORE AROUND MEN TOO

felix: my bad i forgot your government name and booked the reservation under 'pookie'

seungmin, while talking about his boyfriend: bro just says so much it's hard to keep track

jeongin: i wish my dad knew i was lactose intolerant so he wouldn't have to get milk

yk when you meet someone just so fucking angelic? like they don't need to say one word and you're already dazzled by them. you don't like them romantically or sexually, you just like them. you like their being and you're so thankful for their existence. with them, there's no sexuality or gender barrier, and I'm saying this bc this one person I'm talking abt is a girl.

I'm heteromantic with very few actual crushes on boys, but ever since the beginning of the school year, there's this girl.

she had this straight messy black hair and this nose that's so beautifully curved and this skin so damn perfect. she wears these baggy clothes and they fit her so well. she walks this specific way where her hands dangle by her sides and her backpack looks so fucking heavy. I have her in band, and she plays the clarinet across from me (i play flute). she's so great, and even when she messes up and you can only hear her breathing through the clarinet she sounds ethereal. there's this perfection to her, but it's not one that makes me insecure or makes me wanna be her. it's one that just makes me want to adore her, like a tall, beautiful Renaissance painting with so much information you stare at it for hours and you still can't comprehend everything going on.

after our first band concert, I walked past her car and saw her through the window. I waved, she waved back with this smile. after that, every time our eyes meet we smile at each other. I always keep smiling for a few more seconds after we've looked away. we never said anything to each other except 'sorry' when we run into each other. I just appreciate her so damn much, it's crazy because I don't know one thing about her expect that she likes Disney bc she has the coolest Disney shirts and that she's maybe Japanese because her name is so cool and every time we have a sub in band they always say her name wrong. they say my name wrong too.

I don't know why I feel like this towards her, but I'm sure it's not a crush bc I can't imagine me dating her or kissing her. what I indeed can picture is us maybe living as roommates, or meeting with a group of friends at a fast food restaurant. I've heard of friend crushes before, where you insanely want to befriend someone, and I think that might be the closest definition.

but not everything needs a definition, right?

I don't need to understand whatever tf it is I feel whenever I see that damn girl to know my feelings are just great to be felt. it's just so positive and awesome and comforting to feel like this, it's like her existence itself is pure warmth, and I know damn well that we know each other from past lives bc it's just too much reciprocated heavenly emotions that we silently exchange for each other.

and I damn well love. it.

BRO I LOVE THESAURUS

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

yes I'm acespec and yes I get so damn happy when a guy asks for my number/says I'm cute bc it means I'm not the ugliest piece of shit this world has ever housed <3