Friendly Advice For Scorpio/8th House Natives

Friendly advice for scorpio/8th house natives

Take this with a grain of salt, if you can relate to it then excellent. I have seen many 8th housers/scorpio placements who play mind games/emotional games with other people. They have indeed survived a tough childhood so they learn these tactics to survive and carry into adulthood.

Things like push-pull cycle, breaking up as a joke to see if the partner makes effort to get back, threatening with self harm to get attention, using victim story for love and special treatment, being suspicious and controlling because fear of rejection, being interfering in everything because fear of losing control, having idealistic tendencies to compensate for what lacked in childhood, having overwhelming emotions that are hard to control, being reactive emotionally to problems in life, being impulsive and falling in love with man you met last week, pouring your heart out to random man to create bond connection (trauma bond), feeling envious and competitive with other same sex people for desirability.

If you can identify yourself in these traits or have been this person in past, you would know how these behaviours can wreck up your life. If you are even more self aware you would be able to connect your psychological issues to your childhood and parents. If you are even luckier, you would know how to heal your trauma and transform into a different person.

Scorpio can be a blessing and a curse. Think about it!

Astro observations (October 2022: part 2)

Different people in one family deal with emotions differently. They should have expectations depending upon their own nature and emotional sensitivity. As an example, my mother is 1st house Libra stellium with sun while I am 7th house Taurus sun with 8th house moon and venus. This combination makes me deeply emotional, dependent and not assertive/center of attention. I can sit with one conflict for months while my mother doesn't like conflicts and runs from them.

Sun in 1st house mom + sun in 7th house daughter. What would you guys think about this? Engulfment, identity merger and dependency issues arise in daughter. Daughter needs to develop her own self esteem and confidence. Spend sometime away from mom ideally to become emotionally independent.

Saturn in 5th house makes childhood household restrictive, controlling and strict. Parents didn't like to give freedom of choice and agency to child. Parents acting like they know what's right for child and imposing their decisions on child. Parents can also be interfering in child's life a lot. Many times, they do it unconsciously out of paranoia or insecurity. They don't seem to realize the impact it has on their child.

Sun in 1st house mommy can actually belittle her children a lot. She is competitive, wants to be the center of attention and seen as the best. She can be demotivating towards children and thinking of them as incapable or stupid of doing things. It is all her own perfectionist tendency and self sabotage projected outwards towards children.

Moon in 8th house = emotional distance from mommy in adulthood. This is a hallmark of natives who take a hard decision to emotionally distant themselves from mommy for their own mental sanity. Their mommy and themselves are just on different emotional levels. They can look after their mommy financially and socially but not mentally and emotionally.

Water sign dominant natives can hide their emotions very well, don't show their emotional side to others, outwardly appear indifferent but emotional turmoil within, though they can show anger outbursts especially when immature.

Immature and mature planet and sign energies really makes difference. With age and experience, some people change their ways while others do not. With maturity, they make better life choices that help in productivity, material fulfillment and personality development. With immature tendencies, they make choices that lead to character weakness, abusive behavior and stagnant in material life.

Venus in 2nd house men notice feminine things on women. They like to see the colours, styles of their accessories, clothing, hair, how they dress themselves up. Conversely, women with 2nd house venus also like to dress up well and take care of beauty. These natives like to buy quality products over cheap ones. They invest in products that are good quality and sophisticated.

Mercury in 12th house makes a native who likes to study alone. Anything related to school, studies and thinking, they do it alone away from public life.

Natives with 1st house planets are shaped by their ascendant. They can show the qualities and characteristics of their first house planets. They are the ones to have distinguishing personality traits and visible in public eye. While natives with empty 1st house dont show any dominant personality. Of course they do have a personality but in public eye they are not visible for those qualities.

7th house placements especially sun are easily influenced by their environment, the people they are surrounded by and the people they befriend or talk to. They have a tendency to mimic the person they talk to. Since they project themselves in others a lot, their life gets difficult trying to adjust their projection whenever they meet a new person.

Venus in 10th house career wise can be dealing with money, banking, real estate, land related banks and field work. I have seen a native working in land bank and also doing land business with Venus in 10th house.

Mercury in 7th house natives attract really talkative partner, writer, author, friendly, energetic spouse with a lot of ideas and communicative habits. These natives can be lawyer or hold a law degree while working in other job.

Sun in 1st house native makes you know they are in the house. Their energy is that powerful. They are attention seeking and act like they are the best thing in the world. It feels like their energy fills the room they enter. Their energy can be really overwhelming for someone who is laid back and peace seeking though.

Air signs natives have a tendency to break things off and change friends quickly. But when the mature, they learn to treasure the relationships and friendships they make. Learn to make long term friendships and not jump from one person to another. Resist the urge to run from people.

Venus in 8th house: why do they turn ice cold?

There is little doubt that Venus in 8th house makes some of the most intense individuals ever. But what makes them turn ice cold and dark?

They have a tendency to overly attach to anyone who seems to flatter them, show them love/likeness/attention. You can control a venus in 8th house (also, venus in scorpio) with flattery, manipulation, gaslighting, lies because they are easy to trust your words. These are some of the most gullible people around because of their intensity. Their intense emotions shadow their thought structure, judgment and perception.

They also emotionally attach to people quickly. Give themselves to their lover, friends, family wholeheartedly without reservations. But sadly, humans are evil by nature deep down. It is the primitive source of law of jungle. In civilized societies, the appearence changes but biology does not. There is no such thing as a genuine good person. There is no such thing as a free gift. There is no such thing as unconditional love. But these ideals are what venus in 8th house natives tend to believe in.

It is their energy that only attracts toxic people in their lives. Others seem to be having a fun time with friends and family but these natives are just surrounded by people who are selfish cunning narcissistic. The native seeks validation and acceptance from people, only to feel more lonely when the betrayal is realized.

With 8th house, everything is sudden. Sudden disclosure of the hidden personality. Someone who was close to native by blood or relationship, and suddenly native realizes that they were verbally emotionally abusive all along, gaslit them and used them for their resources, benefits and power. Someone who acted very friendly was just after their salary, social connections and perks you can give them. Someone who was flattering and love bombing was just buttering them for leadership, control and to make them dependent.

I have seen it many times how venus in 8th house attracts psychically controlling, manipulative, self centered and abusive people. These native clouded by their feelings intensity are not able to judge the intention of the other person until it is too late. There is something very innocent about venus in 8th house/venus in scorpio. The innocence is about projection of unconscious idealism on other people. Like fairytale romance and hopeless romanticism. How can others be evil if they flatter me? How can others be bad if they are love bombing me?

People who are attracted to the lives of these natives are their shadow figure. These natives are no saint. If they are intense it is because they want love from others. They want the same things as a narcissist but under different names. This is one reason why they also marry a rich spouse because of internal status seeking. These natives want to indulge in luxury and status. They are envious and jealous of others success and possessions. They are controlling and possessive of their resources, people and objects. Who said that love is innocence? Venus in 8th house natives use LOVE to feel powerful. They use their intensity to control their lover.

The narcissism of venus in 8th house is different from fire signs and air signs narcissism. These natives crave love, merger, control, caretaking, status, power, validation and public image all at once. But they also feel empathy, remorse, guilt, shame, sadness. I have seen fire and air signs being cruel users. Most of them will never mature and change.

So when venus in 8th house hits rock bottom or emotional turmoil and if the rest of the chart also supports it, they start doing self reflection and shadow work. They discover layer after layer of their psyche. They see their own evil. They see their own darkness. They are also exposed to the bad people in their lives who reflect their own unconscious traits to them. It all happens back to back because 8th house gives no warning. 8th house has no mercy. All karmic lessons back to back. You recover from one lesson only to be hit by the next one out of nowhere. Bloody out of nowhere. You are living your life trying to chill but 8th house keeps sending bad people in your life for self reflection. It keeps taking things from you. It keeps messing things up suddenly.

This is how venus in 8th house native goes dark and ice cold. They have to shield themselves. They know their darkness and see it in others. Maturity makes them cynical and deep.

Life advice for sun in 7th house natives WITH EMPTY 1ST HOUSE

Sun in 7th house people sabotage their lives so much. I am speaking for the natives with an empty 1st house and sun in 7th house. Sun is your ego, identify and self esteem. When sun is in your 7th house and there is no planet in the 1st house to give you a "sense of self", sun from descendant will project its traits on other people.

These natives can see their own traits in other people and especially the insecurities. They tend to see their own insecurities in others, whether the others realize it or not. It makes them flinch and cringe. Since they are aware of their insecurities and also see them in other people, they tend to sabotage themselves based on their insecurities.

Sun in 7th house with empty 1st house weakens the self confidence of the native. They tend to base their self esteem on other people's opinions of them and are super pleasers. They also tend to have arrogance and ego in their personality traits. They seem to want high respect and status in society. In relationships, they might suffer with ego issues and who's the better/smarter/more successful/more talented person issues.

Life advice is to

Accept your insecurities and inferiority complex

It is okay to have insecurities. Insecurities are just feelings. Accept them and move on

Control your arrogance that wants to have it all. You're not special. You're just deeply self conscious

People do have similar traits as you. Accept them and accept yourself

Curb your inferiority. Your father figure probably never saw you the way you are. He likely misunderstood you or had his own mental image of you or could not see your personality as real. So as an adult you feel deeply insecure of your real personality and want attention, recognition, validation from everyone. Arrogance is a mask for inferiority. What are your inferiority signs? Recognize them and heal them.

Friendly advice for 8th house/scorpio natives:

Stop trying to rationalize wrong behaviour. I know you are a fountain of empathy and always try to rationalize bad people's actions. No one is behaving bad to you because they have trauma. They behave bad to you because they choose to. They are grown up adults and they know how to behave with someone. So stop trying to rationalize their behaviours.

Next, you cannot change anyone. Even if a wrong person decides to behave right with you, they will not become right. They will stay toxic to those who will allow it. This is why you should have boundaries. Do not befriend people easily. Especially for people with deep emotional sensitivity, you take betrayal very seriously and demand utmost loyalty and honestly. While other signs do not care about betrayal, you are deep feeler and it hurts you in the deepest heart when betrayed.

So, keep boundaries. Take your time to match the words and actions of those in your circle. Only then befriend people. Trust very few. Write journals or vent online to anonymous strangers. I know from experience that I being 8th house dominant shared my secrets with some people and they ended up spreading rumors, gossiping, manipulating me, triggering my insecurities and reminding me again and again of my secrets in public. It was so painful to see the betrayal and shock that I vented my heart out to the wrong people.

Next, I realized that trust is something I treasure a lot. I cannot tolerate inauthentic people who are self centered, egoistic, selfish, liar, manipulative and exploitative. It is better to keep few people in my trust than to be the social butterfly. Never tell your secrets to anyone, unless you trust them for years. No matter how much someone pretends to be genuine and kind, they might be just pretending to get into your circle. When you have confident in yourself and have made peace with your traumatic past, you are less likely to attract predatory people who are looking for emotional and material exploitation from you.

So make peace with your past. Do not keep ruminating on the trauma. Subconscious rumination, venting, reliving the past, recalling the past, wishing things happened differently, going over the past again and again is bound to attract more abusive people into your life. These people are attracted to your subconscious patterns. Do not remain a victim. Do not seek pity. Do not seek sympathy. Be a strong person. Read stories of other people who overcame their trauma and built a strong character. Build up your personality. Do things that help you self actualize -- writing, journaling, art, sports, music, anything that helps you understand yourself.

These are some of the things I recommend to 8th house/scorpio natives. They will really improve the quality of your life.

Whether anything in life is significant or not?

We are often taught, "You are insignificant in the grand scheme of universe. Nothing matters. You will die anyway". If I accept this assertion, then how will I know what things are significant in my life? If everything is insignificant then why do I live and why do I exist? Why make any effort at all?

If everything is insignificant then will you ever defend yourself in an argument? Will you ever act in self defense? Will you ever protect your family and tribe? If yes, then how are these things insignificant? It means that those things ARE significant. That those things do matter. That you do matter in the grand scheme of universe.

Is this an arbitrary decision between which things are significant and which are not? If my father is significant to me, is a stranger man also as significant to me as my father? How so? 1. The stranger man could be father to a child; 2. The stranger man had emotions and personality; 3. The stranger man has a life history and destiny; 4. Do unto others what you would want to be done to yourself. In this way, even a stranger man in streets is as significant to me as my father. If a stranger is valuable to me then his life does matter in the grand scheme of things.

Life is significant. Life is meaningful. What is 'meaning'? It is anything that helps me learn something, improve myself or unlearn something that no longer serves me. Is self improvement meaningful? Is it significant in the grand scheme of universe? It is significant to me.

For so long I am here alive on earth, I will deal with my inner conscience and emotions. Doing self improvement makes me feel right. It makes me feel worthwhile. It gives me self respect. I feel like I belong to a team of "the good citizens of the universe".

I want to make a good impression on others. Doing self improvement, being authentic, socializing with my real face, doing work, in every day of my life I have to engage in a lot of things that make up my life. I want to leave a good impression on others.

I believe that anyone behaves in "good way" only because of knowledge of consequence. If a so called evil act did not have any consequence then anyone would do it without any second thought. It is not just about legal or social or financial consequences, sometimes people worry about karmic consequences. For eg, if I abuse someone, karma will come back at me. In other cases, wasting your time, energy, resources are the consequences of engaging in useless arguments.

Nobody likes being around "negative" people. If I go around saying nothing matters life is meaningless, I will make no friends. It does not imply that I am a people pleaser. It means that such nihilistic attitude towards life gets on your nerves. For eg, why go to school or college or job if nothing matters? Why do marriage or have kids or take care of your parents if nothing matters? Why have doctors or scientists or service workers if nothing matters? Why cook or clean or eat or sleep if nothing matters? It means that life does matter. We have to have some meaning in life to even survive.

Does this mean that I am not Nihilist? I am Nihilistic. I believe that life is meaningful. And I also believe that life is meaningless. It is a balance of meaningful and meaningless. Everything matters yet nothing matters.

So I personally chose to apply nihilism in mindless situations. Like gossiping, partying, watching movies or porn or listening to songs. These are the things which I find to be meaningless in my life. 1. I dont make money from them; 2. They do not give me happiness; 3. They dont make me feel worthwhile. They dont make me feel like I am doing something right with my life. 4. I have been to "that" side of the world. The dating, smoking, drinking or the so called "cool" side of the world. It looks rebellious from a distance. It looks like they are living out their shadows. They are free in the ways I was not. They were having fun, enjoying life, giving a middle finger to society.

Until I got even closer to the scene and realized that the whole cool vibe thing is just a glamorous smoke. Those people were hiding massive insecurities and terrible character dysfunction behind the mask. The difference is that those people chose to deal with their insecurities and flaws with mind numbing distractions. I finally decided to walk a path o self development and meaning.