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PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT SERIES: For 8th house placements

This series is especially for girls, because that's who I am and can connect to. Since it is astro linked, this is especially true for venus in 8th house/scorpio placements. It can apply to other placements too if you can connect with it. Anyway, what I share on my blog are things I have personally dealt with, so it comes from my heart and soul :)

There is something called "Female Dating Strategy". The first time I read the posts on reddit and elsewhere, it did not make any sense to me. But as I got older and wiser, I could understand everything. Even if you are not interested in dating, venus in 8th house/scorpio ladies, go check out this community. Their tips on self worth, self respect, not being clingy needy emotional will really help you. It is absolute must for venus in 8th house or scorpio because god damn they are emotional, romance obsessed, living in fairytale and taking people at face value.

8th house 💏 Psychology. I have not met a single 8th houser who was not interested in psychology. Even if they did not read books, they were still perceptive, sensitive and emotionally aware. YouTube, blogs, reddit, Quora are full of psychology related testimonials and discussions. You all need to look up what personality disorders cluster A B C mean because feelings are not facts. Just playing mind games is not enough, educate yourself. These natives are the ones to say "Who was looking for a relationship but ended up getting a degree in psychology?"

The ugly truth is that all of us have shadows. If you were born in a narcissistic/borderline family unit, please do not date until you have fixed your shadow. This is why it will help you to do some self actualization, you yandere girls. Dont, dont, dont trust people blindly, not even me.

Beware of old men. No daddy issues please. Old men looking to date young girls because they are gentlemen can go live on mars. Especially for intense women, they will ignore red flags in favour of connection and security. Old men have experience in manipulation and sweet talking. I dont care if your parents were 20 years apart, 8th houser or scorpio are going to learn big lesson if they give themselves blindly to old men. No matter how good they pretend to be. Persona is not reality.

This is it for now.

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......

Some more 8th house placements observation:

I am running the antardasha of my 8th house ruler since June & have learned a lot of revelations about people around me. Interacting with people, seeing their real faces, seeing the shock and revelations, I was able to see my own shadow too. Sharing some of my shadow work, mistakes and revelations:

🌸 Trust me when I say this, I am Gemini moon, I was the typical funny, entertainer, chatty, comical, animated personality. But my life circumstances were such that I have become dark and introverted. I have learned to live with the injustice and unfairness. I don't seek revenge even. I am numb and indifferent.

🌸 If you are around a known toxic person, do not assume that you are an exception. You are not special to them. They will just treat you like everybody else when the time comes. No exceptions. You're just in their good books until they find someone better to manipulate.

🌸 Goddamn people lie. I am craving to meet a single honest person. People lie so damn much. They lie confidently, with eye contact and even call you a liar even if you have evidence for your truth. They lie about themselves to make themselves look good. No shame, no remorse, nothing at all.

🌸 I had a narcissistic shadow. I was selfish, entitled, victim mindset, attention hungry, entitled but it was covert and hidden due to my low self confidence. I was a low functional narcissist. When I saw bad traits in others then I started fixing myself too. I attracted toxic people because I was a toxic person inside and unknown to me.

🌸 Studying astrology, psychology, archetypes, spirituality has helped me a lot in mental development. But I still meet people who treat me bad even though I treat them good. The difference is that now I have a strong character & do not take things to heart. There is a "myth of normal and healthy". I don't think that human communities can ever be healthy like a utopia.

🌸 The world runs on a pattern. In astro community, I have learned that no matter if you are born in America or Japan or third world, your life theme runs on a similar pattern depending upon your birth chart, placements, etc. There are different models of occult in different countries but all people in the world have a birth chart & they do have similar life themes. Call it genetic model or birth chart, but humans are not different from each other.

🌸 I don't know what happens in afterlife. I do know that whatever we do have consequences. This is karma. Consequences are carried into next lives. They are also inherited by next generations. People can be short sighted and think that their actions will die with them. They don't know that 3 generations later, their great grand child will suffer from cancer because they committed such and such actions stupidly and selfishly.

🌸 Nature is indifferent to pleasure and pain. Sensory pleasure is not happiness either. Happiness is something else.

🌸 I don't know if nirvana or moksha or liberation are possible. I sure do not want to come back to earth again.

🌸 Fire sign placements can be really egoistic, super liars, arrogant bullies. They need to mature the most because their hypocrisy and self centeredness is appalling. The world is not their toy. People are not toys.

🌸 8th house is all about sudden and unpredictable twists in life. One day is peace, next day medical emergency, 3rd day sudden expenses, 4th day betrayal by family member, 5th day sudden loss of money, 6th day encounter with a manipulative person, 7th day sudden money gain, 8th day peace, 9th day again problem. Same happens yearly. Every year is a challenge for them. 8th house placements are hell of a ride.

🌸 Beware of energy suckers. Predatory people love victimhood. I have dealt with victim mindset, feeling sorry for myself, equating sympathy and pity with love for so long. I kept going from one predator to the other. I keep my expectations low while recovering. If someone does something for me it is a pleasant surprise but I did not expect that.

🌸 Finally, life is complicated. Shadow self is a funny thing. I hate traits in others but I have them within me. Hate them or hate myself? Self introspection is a constant journey.

Falling in love as a water dominant native

Inner planets (moon/sun/venus/mercury/mars) in a water house or water sign - love is different to you. You want to be with someone with whom you can be yourself and just yourself. Truly yourself. With all your feelings and vulnerabilities laid on the table, you are that safe and secure with your lover.

Water house or water sign placements make the native sensitive. Sensitive is to feel the feelings to their extreme. It is like holding a bubble in your palm, worried someone might pinch it, alert someone might blow it. You do not open yourself up to someone unless you trust their character.

Loyalty and honesty means a lot to you. You want someone as transparent as the water. You want to see through them. While other people look with their eyes, you look with your soul. Your eyes are turned inwards and constantly see the ups and downs of your emotions. Being sensitive and emotional, you are drawn to spirituality and choose your own path in life. You strive for a purpose in life. You want to know why you were born here on earth. You need a sense of mission and direction. You are a giver in love, the more you share your love, the more love there is in the world. You strive for higher principles, morals, meaning and values. You are the ones to turn the pages of philosophy books because the exterior life just does not suit your taste.

You fall in love with your soul. You meet someone and they are just the right person. Your intuition (water) tells you, this is it, you cannot reason why or how this person becomes the most prioritized person in your life. You are naturally obsessive. You are thinking of all the things you want to tell them, share with them, listen to them. Their mind, emotions and soul are your adventure place. You want to explore the depths of their mind. You want to merge your soul and identity with this person in your life.

Love is not just a word to you, it is life itself. Men with water dominant energy appear so ordinary from the outside, but oh-the right person will see the glaciers and ocean behind that mask. This ocean contains the secrets of the world. You want to self actualize with your lover. Someone who assists you in this journey. It is not just a material love to you, it is rather spiritual. You value their soul, their spirit, their essence. Love is a sacrifice to you, a noble cause, a martyr.

Perhaps, love is the language of water dominant natives. It is their religion and their philosophy. You will realize that this love trascends personality and unites with God, the eternal and the source. Nobody loves like a water dominant native, especially an evolved and mature one. They make life heaven, understand your emotional needs with their intuition, love you just the right way, be the best version of themselves, do everything to make your life better. Perhaps, nobody talks about water natives' love because very few experience it and those who experience the mature water love are too busy in self actualizing and transformation. They are too detached from self promotion and fakery.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

Surviving Rock Bottom

🌼 For inner planets in 8th house natives; after crisis - before transformation = the stage of neuroses.

🌼 Before every transformation for 8th house natives, they are trapped by neuroses; they shed their skin after neuroses to reborn - this is almost constant in their life, but also happens at least one major rock bottom stage that they must learn to handle. Whatever may be the trigger, these natives face intense emotional crisis. Their life begins to get out of control - heart break, job loss, divorce etc. They fall into a downward spiral of ruminations, before they are consciously aware of it, they spend hours everyday thinking about the past with painful emotional outbursts. Ruminations are repetitive thoughts revisiting the same events from past. As we all know that 8th house placements are hallmark of intergenerational trauma, this crisis is the call for healing. This stage of life is called neuroses; it was also called hysteria in old days.

🌼 Carl Jung has said "in all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order, in all caprice a fixed law for everything that works is grounded on its opposite". The natives are yet to know the reason behind their suffering. Unfortunately, if they are lonely, it can take years for them in rock bottom, spending each passing day in the insanity. It is not so simple to get out of this obsessive rumination for the natives - otherwise they would do it already. They cannot just "choose to not think these thoughts" - this is what makes the rumination so powerful, this is what feels like fate, a doom, a curse.

🌼 The reason why these natives fall into this spiral is the heightened negative feelings. As we know that the 8th house signifies the territory everything that is hidden and unknown. This uncertainty of who they are (lack of sense of self) and where they are going (life path) compels them to seek certainty in life. 8th house placements are unfortunately not gifted with a "sense of self", they feel like invisible energy, like a jellyfish they feel transparent and attach themselves to people, things, interests, addictions and make it their whole personality. When in relationship, they mirror and depend on their "favourite person" for the validation of their existence. This relationship must break at some point in their life because they are also prone to invest themselves in wrong type of people, ignoring red flags and being irrational rather than logical about life choices.

🌼 Apart from astrological view, in the words of science, they are genetically predisposed to such neuroses states. In addition to this, their parents also create disturbing environmental influences for them to develop chronic emotional illnesses. These disorders are inherited - what we call "ancestral karma". 

🌼 When the child never learned emotional regulation from their parents and also genetically prone to neuroses, they recall the negative material, negative "autobiographical memories" of the past and negative emotional state all the time.  Gradually they fall into depressive states, ruminating about the events of childhood and fixating on negative emotions. If you are an 8th house native, you know exactly what it feels like - no words can describe what is only experienced by the fallen hero.

🌼 Some symptoms of this spiritual crisis are 1. Obsessive rumination 2. Compulsive behaviours as a routine 3. Depression 4. Apathy towards life (Nihilism and hopelessness) 5. Negative intrusive thoughts 5. Phobias 6. Perpetual anxiety state.

🌼 Lots of natives go to therapy and hospital in emergency to protect against suicidal ideation, self harm and self destructive addictions. Indeed in such cases, pills and medicines are necessary to rescue the natives from their crisis. However, Carl Jung writes that this crisis is the harbinger of soul transformation. He writes that anxiety is the attempt by psyche to self cure the trauma. He writes to 1. Experience the trauma rather than numb the symptoms with pills; 2. Identify the meaning of neuroses; 3. Understand what the neuroses is trying to tell/teach you; 4. Identify the purpose of neuroses in your life; 5. To go from infantile attitude to psychological development. 

🌼 Unfortunately, I have seen natives with these placements never being able to cure their neuroses and instead fall into lifelong alcohol addiction problems that spoiled their family life and caused many miseries like road accident and early death. This shows how powerful and strong the anxiety is. If they belong to below middle class sections in society, they can even end up homeless and helpless (though 8th house is also connected with other people's money  so they could be supported by spouse income or parental income).

🌼 There are some reasons why natives fail to get out of neuroses or delay it: 1. Laziness; 2. Lack the courage to face the challenge of life; 3. Lack of awareness or support system; 4. Fear of change. Though this is not a definite list. Never underestimate the power of neuroses; 8th house transformation doesn't always mean "something beautiful is born out of the mess". A lot of natives simply "transform for the worse" - they do not improve, they do not actualize, they just remain there in self destructive cycles. It is that scary. It is survivorship bias to assume that all 8th house planets will become spiritual and awakened - a lot of them do not and we never hear their story. So, if you are one of those who find themselves near self awakening, please grab the opportunity and get your life on track.

🌼 Therefore, it is crucial to understand that this neuroses is the urge to develop your own personality. It is a call to change your attitude towards life, to change your way of life, to not conform to the herd mentality, to focus your energy on living in the world rather than in your head, to attain psychological independence from your parents, to contribute to community as a responsible worker, to find a purpose in life. It is the call to do self actualization and attain self knowledge, although it is dressed like a nightmare with a hidden gift.

🌼 Do not waste anymore of your energy on internal conflicts, reliving the past memories and processing the trauma that happened to you. There is only one choice in life - to move forward or to regress to the immature and infantile mode again. Your are intuitive, you KNOW the answers in your heart. I always read about the "transformations" of 8th house natives but never really found an answer for what exactly transformation means? Is it magic?  Or is it some legitimate process? I finally found the answer.

This video describes the concept:

Here is quotes from the video:

“What direction the patient’s life should take in the future is not ours to judge. We must not imagine that we know better than his own nature, or we would prove ourselves educators of the worst kind…It is better to renounce any attempt to give direction, and simply to try to throw into relief everything that the analysis brings to light, so that the patient can see it clearly and be able to draw suitable conclusions. Anything he has not acquired himself he will not believe in the long run, and what he takes over from authority merely keeps him infantile. He should rather be put in the position to take his own life in hand.” - Carl Jung, Some Crucial Points in Psychoanalysis

“Only boldness can deliver from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is somehow violated, and the whole future is condemned to hopeless staleness.” - Carl Jung, Symbols of Transformation

This transformation can take years and this is the rebirth of the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes into a new life. Starting from scratch. Shedding old skin. Burning bridges. Reborn. So many names.

My 8th house transformation notes:

You dont remember the past you anymore because you have gradually healed and changed. Intuition, synchronicity, occult tools, dream symbolism, inner knowledge are your methods for healing and transformation. But this change is not sudden like the nature of 8th house. It is rather slow, gradual and blending into each other. It is like fixing your self esteem issues then slowly learning to handle negative emotions then learning to change destructive and dysfunctional thought pattern then learning to destroy previously held beliefs and ideals then seeing connection between psyche and people. In this way, you slowly heal before you know it.

Look at the above image. You go from violet to red slowly and the whole journey matters, each step matters.

2. You become fearless. You have a knowing that whatever happens is meant to happen so taking career risks is a brave decision. You feel different from the mainstream idea of youth, people, life. It is like most people in the world are so unaware of the self and soul, they are so detached from their emotional lives, it is like the world is upside down to you. You have no problem keeping to yourself because you dont long for social validation and acceptance. This is where the stereotype of mysterious persona comes from.

3. "Thinking is hard that's why most people judge". You have incredible patience and tolerance for problematic people because you see through their fake performance and see the emotional suffering they suffer to feel powerful over others, overcome their insecurity by cheap means, embarrassing themselves by thinking their tricks are working. Oddly, you feel sympathy and compassion for them.

4. With all the thinking, contemplation, self development arises a sense of self. Your self image is much stable. Transformation is a humbling process, it really awakens you that there is some higher power who knows everything for some reason somehow. With this awareness, you search for meaning in life. Some might become passionately devoted to a craft, work, skill, art, worship. While you might be a chaotic mess before, now you feel like a wise sage. You have really lived life, experienced the magic of being and know the "secrets" of life. Your presence is calming. You are conscious and self aware. You really know what you are doing. I am reminded of tarot card The Magician:

This is your persona, the shadow is the "bad people" you attracted in your life. You are now the lighter side of the magician that is: will to power over yourself, influence others positively, resourceful, skill, logic, intellect, have psychic powers, practitioner of occult. But you are also aware of the darker side that is: power over others, manipulation, greed, untrustworthiness, trickery, cunning, narcissism, liar, charlatan. You can recognize some of the people you met in your life in these keywords, can you? Friends/family/lovers/colleagues, anyone who showed a kind of revelation to you that what appears on surface is not the same as internal person.

Now you can see why you attracted a certain kind of people in your life who were your spiritual teachers. They were simply your shadow that you denied in yourself. With this knowledge, you are a whole person who is naturally called to do self actualization. There is no going back from here. But it is a journey you are excited to undertake. If you are really self aware, you would know you kind of put on a mask in social personality but in private you drop that mask to do inner work and be yourself with all the light and darkness.

5. When it comes to transformation, we hear things like "change your way of life". What it means is to change your habits, beliefs and thought patterns. Once the old system is destroyed, there is a void and that cannot sustain for too long. You immediately need a new system to hold your life in place otherwise that stage of dissolution can be really paralyzing. Like you are so sad and confused that you cannot leave your room, brush, bath, socialize, study, work.

To tell you an example, this is the skeletal system of a bird, it holds the bird's body upright, without this system the bird cannot fly, if a bone is fractured the bird is dysfunctional, if there is sickness the bird is in pain. Just like the body needs a system, we also need a system in daily mundane life. A routine, a structure, many many habits that are autonomous, thought processes to hold you up. This is the adult life where one is responsible for themselves and so they need a solid framework for their life. What habits you need to change is a personal journey but the habit must change.

6. Old impulses and temptations lack their lusture. The temptation to binge watch instagram reels? Nah, it just does not feel tempting. Temptation to binge eat 5000 kcal food? Nah, the temptation is gone. To tell you an example, it is compared to a dried raisin that has lost its juice so the old temptations are just not dopamine gratifying:

You have this sense of "I will not do or say anything that makes me feel ashamed of myself". "I will live my life by my values and principles". "I will not be cringey, I will be a person people can rely upon". It is a strange feeling, you will feel it when the transformation happens in your life. My intention to write this post is that of validation of your feeling. Spiritual awakening is a really dark and confusing step. It is like this meme:

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

About venus in 8th house & attracting envy or jealousy.

"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate."

About envy/jealousy: Envy is an emotion which occurs when a person lacks another's quality, skill, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it. Whereas, Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. There is a difference between these two mental states and the venus in 8th house can attract both or either of these situation with people.

Why Venus in 8th house: It probably has to do with the energy of the native. They have the reputation of attracting envy from people, especially women, while it can be attributed to their (a) penetrating energy such that being near them make you feel like you are naked and all your secret thoughts and desires are exposed to these native; but it can also be attributed to the (b) feelings of envy in the native themselves. Venus in 8th house native not only attracts envious people, but also envies other people. They might envy others based on their good fortune, looks, achievements and emotional states. Yes, emotional states, as in others being happy/carefree can trigger envy in the native, especially because the venus in 8th house is a very difficult placement both (a) emotionally and (b) fate/destiny wise.

What is emotional pattern: Emotional pattern of thinking is how you think and feel all the time. This appears to be a negligible thing because we work on autopilot but the way we behave is driven by our thoughts and feelings, however unconscious they may be. Once you are self aware that you feel envious of others, try to go micro and see the exact thought pattern how this emotion generated. You have to go to the atomic level of your thoughts and see the thought that creates the daily loop and once identify it, you have to break it and replace it with another thought pattern. Do not keep repeating the same thoughts and torture yourself endlessly. Yes, I know you have it hard in life but when we cannot change the external circumstances, we are called to change the internal reaction to those circumstances that we call fate. If we do not awaken to the ignored and shadow side of our personal unconscious, it will keep manifesting in external reality by attracting toxic people and events until you finally awaken.

Hope it makes sense.

Venus in scorpio/8th house/conjuct pluto/scorpio rising/pluto in 1st house: Malena

Envy, lust, provokes insecurities in others, provokes sexual desires, provokes fear and shame in others. Manipulative, controlling, abusive lovers. Men who are immature, infantile and puer aeternus are attracted to her, obsessed with her, want to use her, take advantage of her. Why do spiritually powerful women attract perverts and parasites? What is the pattern here? What is written in fates?

Charming, magnetic, sensual, feminine. Her silence captivates and threatens. Why doesn't she speak? What does she hide? Why is she so private? Why doesn't she smile? Why is she so powerful? Her life is transformed after marriage, after the news of death of her husband, after death of her father, after court trial where she was accused of adultery, after social beating and outcast. Her looks transform with seasons of life. Self destruction and reconstruction. Renewal of identity. Renewal of spirit.

Attention puller. Men of all ages are obsessed with her. She is so powerful that the whole town hates her. Witch hunting. Subject of sexual fantasies. Character assassination. Stalker, abuse, voyeurism, sex, sex and sex. Life is sex, life is libido. She corrupts everyone, a home wrecker? Nah, all she does is provoke the darkness and shame in men, just with her existence. Slut shaming and abuse. Insecure women are her enemy - if only they could see their ugliness. Death and rebirth, tragedy of life, dark days - darker than the darkest.

When I watched this movie, I found nothing funny about it. Not the silliest of jokes, not the desires of the kid boy. If anything, this movie was scary to watch because I know that women are actually treated this way, especially women with dark astrological placements. What is the life lesson here? Justice - we cannot trust the courts of law. What is the punishment for somebody's envy and insecurity? Darkness is treated with darkness. The strongest poisons make the best medicines.

Hii ❤️ if u don't mind me asking , I heard from an astrologer that venus in 8th house people will get their heart broken at least ones ( like this will happen ), what do u think ? What do u think ?

Hello,

Venus in 8th house signifies many things (1) karmic relationship which means attracting partners who resemble the childhood pattern you had with your caretaker (2) controlling, toxic, psychically penetrating, power control relationship (3) trauma, death and rebirth, transformation and healing.

What makes venus in 8th house so self destructive is the destiny/fate/life pattern/life events that happen similarly in all natives with this placement. No matter if they were born in Japan or Great Britain, all venus in 8th house natives will live similar life themes especially in terms of romance because venus (1) rules libra/7th house and taurus/2nd house (2) venus signifies romance, emotions, relationship contract and (3) venus is concerned with wealth, luxury, sensual pleasures and comfort of life.

What makes 8th house so special is that (1) house of death and rebirth, the two most sacred events of life (2) house of transformation and change which is the law of nature just how a seed sprouts into a plant then grows into a tree and bears fruits.

When we are young, naive, immature, we fear change, our expectations are that of 'hopeless romantic forever love', we confuse 'validation seeking and codependency with love', we are 'narcissistic and think that how you make me feel is called love', our expectations are that of fantasy and what we see in movies is what we think is love.

Venus in 8th house is the blessing in disguise because it helps you see how fictitious your beliefs and ideas were. It helps you see that the people in this world are living blindly and ignorantly. It opens your intuitive side and probes you into the depths of the psyche.

Yes, venus in 8th house does give heart break because the relationships are based in impulsivity, irrational, emotional, magical attitude. It is not the person you enter in relationship with but their fantasy, an image, an ideal. You are a damsel in distress who falls in trauma bond with a fictitious messiah, not the real person. Once you heal from this heart break, you are spiritually empowered, emotionally intelligent and psychically transformed. You mature into a stronger and better version of yourself. You are fearless, aware of your mortality and really powerful because you know what it feels like to die and reborn. What happens is that a young venus in 8th houser is a pick me girl who matures into a queen energy.

Before heart break: Venus in 8th houser girl is broken, attachment issues, insecure, clingy, confused, magical thinking, thinks her hero will rescue her/fix her/save her; "we settle with the love we think we deserve"; doormat girl and all this happens because she has not done any self work. She is so so insecure, it is tragedy.

After heart break: She really really matures. Her psychological maturity is magnetic and powerful. She is psychically penetrating and can see the undertones of energy in people. Now she is secure in herself, she knows her worth, values her time, lives with the flow of energy, is passionate, deep, intense and so wise. She knows emotional patterns because she spends a lot of time in self introspection, finding meaning in life, seeing interconnection between people and events, she is a healer and someone who is really into the exploration of subconscious and unconscious treasures. This is a drastic transformation and ideally this will take a long time but it is the final product.

And then you attract another partner, one who resembles your new emotional patterns and this is much much satisfying relationship. I am not making it up, if you have venus in 8th house, be assured you will feel these words in your soul when it happens to you. It is as if all venus in 8th housers speak the same language. The magical thinking that probes venus in 8th housers in traumatic relationship is the same magical thinking that they later use in divination, astrology, tarot, witchcraft. They learn to put their magical gift to better use that is esoteric and spirituality. You see how the ladies who are into esoteric and occult fields are so confident, self-righteous in a good way and are really deep/calming/peaceful. Even the men with venus in 8th house also are very much into spirituality, occult and esoteric.

Last night with her (venus in 8th house)

I can't forget what happened last night,

It felt like the night would never end,

And when it did, I knew I wouldn't be the same again.

She took something from me,

I have been empty since her,

I have barely lived after she left.

She touched my wounds at midnight,

And by 4 AM, I was in her arms,

Crying out my secrets to her,

She possessed me and I haven't been the same since her.

I am ruined, nobody else can be her,

She ruined my life, how can I move on from that night?

In that night we lived an eternity,

A 1000 years in past and a 1000 years in future,

We knew everything together.

She promised me she will be there in the morning,

I woke up and found her still there like we agreed,

She kept her promise, I sighed,

She had shed her skin and left it as it is.

Thank you for this gift,

But she took my soul in exchange,

Now I have to spend these bland nights alone,

Until we die, till we reunite.

Socializing as an 8th houser

Hope it is relatable to somebody in similar shoes

So, I have Moon and Venus conjunction in 8th house and am Scorpio ascendant in vedic chart; I have Pluto in 12th house in tropical chart at 3 degrees

I didn't know much about astrology in childhood and teenage

I had a weird life, I always felt like I was hidden in some ways

And when I socialized with family, with friends at school and college

I did not get the reaction I wanted

I was not always a victim but my expectations and reality did not match

I played a character, a good girl, liked and desired by all, someone with light and laughter

But even though I played the character to my audience, I did not get the reception I expected in my imagination

I wanted to be seen as a pure hearted, sweet, humble girl

It was not too much to expect, was it?

Obviously I did not know how others perceived me but from their reaction I could figure out that something was weird

I had an active social life but my desires were unfulfilled

One, I realized that I am darker than I expected and other people can sense that. There are people you meet and you feel calm and safe with them. Then there are those you meet and you are irritated for some reason, as if that person is judging you, they bring your shame and deepest sexual thoughts to surface, they make you feel dirty, they are cynical and always see the bad sides in events and people - yes that was me. But in my mind, I was somebody else, that is, a pure hearted, sweet, humble girl.

Two, I realized that I expected devotion and intense emotions, excitement and enthusiasm from others, but why would someone do that for a friend or family?

Three, I was envious of girls who were socially popular

Four, I made the mistake of persevering in the wrong direction. I kept playing a character hoping someday people will start seeing me like a good girl with pure heart

Fifth, my mom is a Libra ascendant with 3 inner planets in 1st house. Boom! She is all about her person, social image, being liked by people, etc. Subconsciously I wanted to be like her but in physical life I was not like her. I was scary in some ways. I would get side eyes, gossips, people getting cold on me

Sixth, all this social reaction made me a very insecure narcissist. I had fantasies of grandiose power and love. I fantasized that wherever I went people treated me with great respect, love and honor

But when I did self reflection as an adult, I realized that scorpionic energy is something I can never get rid of

So I had to align my internal expectations with my physical reality and live in the moment rather than live through fantasies

It felt like freedom, freedom from the chains of my own desires

I don't want to play a character that I cannot maintain

Why was I even fooling myself?

if you are not living in flow with your natural instincts, your heart will tell you something is wrong

I don't know if I chose my destiny but this is the card that I have to play with

So why split myself in two and live a double life?

Some Venus in 8th house transformation notes:

May also apply to Moon in 8th house, Venus in Scorpio, Moon in Scorpio but especially to Venus in 8H

* Venus in 8th house is a mystery. The emotions are intense. When she is happy, she is euphoric. And then she starts crying because she just recalled a repressed past memory.

* Venus in 8H is psychologically draining but financially secure. As if universe wants her to suffer psychological turmoil yet feed her and keep her warm. As if the universe compensates for her psychological experience with financial security through parental inheritance and spousal income.

* This placement is eccentric and different from many other placements. This native deliberately likes to be private, secretive and hidden. It is because she wants to keep her life hidden from public view. Not just because she fears evil eye, but also because she wants authenticity in her personal life.

* Did I say authenticity? She has a core natural personality. Intuitive, emotional, sensitive, perceptive, psychically penetrating, empathetic. She is a healer. She knows that anything which is put in public display on social media loses its authenticity. She knows that words spoken in public are insincere. She does not care for public validation, it is depth and natural connection that she craves.

* Since she battles her own complexes everyday, she can also read other people's complexes easily. Life is a constant shadow work for her. Others may be ignorant of their shadow, insecurities and reactions, while this native can read people as if playing a piano, so easily and so beautifully.

* No doubt, this placement is psychologically challenging. The life theme of native revolves around transformation, rebirth, renewal, occult, psychology matters. Everyday is a new chapter in her life. Every morning she wakes up a different person. Since her core is so unstable and transformative, she finds identity and stability in occult, esoteric and mystical knowledge. Relationship is also based in identification with spouse, change in identity after wedding, merging identity with partner, having sex to "dissolve" the ego identification and become one with the universe with each orgasm.

* There is a major transformation in her younger self to older self. Before transformation, she could be impulsive and irrational. After transformation, she is completely changed, has emotional control and psychic insight. She can "see" what others cannot.

* One suggestion would be to not torture yourself with crying sessions to let go of the memories of past. We acknowledge that you are a sensitive person and you had a traumatic life, but you are not the only one with trauma. Almost all astrological placements have emotional trauma, that is just part of life. Venus 8H clings to her trauma, lives in it, keeps reliving it, that is where she self destructs. Try to live in a flow. Acknowledge the past and know that you are not alone. Do not let it fester into narcissism. Understand that even though people don't show it, everyone is suffering with emotional issues secretly - who knows this better than Venus 8H who herself keeps her dragons as pets with cute collars. Indeed, her inner demons obey her, she is that spiritually awakened and aware. You go to her house and find shadow dragons playing in grass.

* So much shadow work makes her fearless, as if she is rugged and unharmed. There is a healing vibes around her. People feel at peace with her. Being in her company is like meditating in Buddha temple, that serenity, safety, security, compassion and kindness. Feminine essence at its peak. Imagine an incense stick burning with its smoke, so serene and quiet, so mysterious and elegant. That is her soul. Always in touch with her emotions, never reactive and never defensive. Just flowing peacefully with the flow of life. Look how poetic smoke is, it makes no noise, leaves no traces, it is poetry to the heart.

* But this journey was not easy. The emotional healer today was once a wounded mess. We never appreciate how much of a difference emotional intelligence can make to human relationships. It changes conversations, there is no competition but understanding. She talks not because she wants to look good or show off her knowledge, she speaks because she genuinely feels a connection to your heart. Connection beyond superficiality. Connection that transforms her listener. Anyone who comes in contact with her is transformed, bewitched, hypnotized. Even the most angry person can calm down in her company, it feels just so safe to be with her. You will be heard and seen and accepted for your flaws and faults and mistakes because in the 8H there is no right or wrong, life is just a music of ups and downs. All fateful detours and blunder mistakes lead to spiritual insights. She does not judge you for anything, her only question is, "How did it make you feel? What did you learn from that experience?"

Now, depending upon the rest of the chart, we see how their life manifests. For eg, If there are significant fire placements, then the native will not be so secretive and like to be in limelight for their image.

But in conclusion, something that I have noticed with this placement is a significant lack of self concept. They are easily influenced by the energy of people, absorb the energy in their environment and may even become somebody else. This is of course not nice experience because then they will be torn apart between their natural core (intuitive) and the false adaptation they just performed, this may lead to neurotic behavior and unnecessary psychological suffering. One tip is to write down the keywords related to this placement like "transformation" "sensitive" "empathetic" "shadow work" "inner work" "secretive" and whenever you feel anxiety in social settings, mentally recall these keywords to create a stable identity/anchor in your head so you do not accidentally get carried away in someone else's energy. They are especially overwhelmed by the energies of air/fire placements that lack watery elements, because these natives are too smug and harsh for the sensitive person. Another tip is to have some will power which can be hard for these natives are pleasure seeking and indulgent too, so perhaps with some practice, behavior and emotional reaction can change. Repeated exposure to environments that trigger your insecurity and instability then practice grounding yourself in your natural core, who you truly are inside.

These natives can even make therapeutic healers, energy workers, witches, can assist you in passing from one stage of life to another, just how psychotherapy or surgery or birth or death works. They are the surgeons (penetrating vision) of the soul (just a joke).

Devotion and Worship

It is a tragedy to be born with the planet of romantic love (venus) in the house of the subconscious mind (8). A primal instinct (sex) combined with the basic unit of humanity (romantic relationship) placed in the hidden and the unknown. You were born because your mom and dad made love, that love ... is venus. Now take the essence of your life and put it somewhere hidden. Every time you get into a relationship, your psychological contents are shaken, highlighted, brought to the surface. Deal with them endlessly.

Devotion to love is something you learned before you learned to talk. You knew you were a romantic, a devotee shall I say? Love was not just a formality or to-do act for you, love was life itself. It was breathing, thinking, eating, sleeping, dreaming. You were *that* girl.

Why Devotion?

She was quite a devotee. All she had ever wanted was to put a man on a pedestal and worship him - not the man himself but his image, an archetype, an ideal, an emotion, a perfect masculine image that he generated in her. Merely worshipping him was enough validation and approval of her existence. Maybe it was her low self esteem that she saw herself as a very small person that had to worship someone greater than herself. Maybe it was her intense emotional complex that was so deep that she would get lost in it. Maybe it was her spiritual nature that she did not want a man but she wanted God itself.

But the Twist

While it sounds very romantic and poetic to devote yourself to a man, it does not work out like that in real life. Especially with Venus in 8H or scorpio, the kind of romantic relationship they attract are reverse of their expectation. The man (Jupiter) they attract is not the kind of imaginary God they expect, not the kind of fairy tale in movies. The pattern for these women is that they attract the kind of men who are somewhat mystic, psychic, controlling, working from a place of psychological senstivity. These are the men that do not want to be worshipped but instead reverse the cards and worship the woman instead.

It means that they have romantic situations where both parties want to worship each other or at least has the psychological desire to. So, who will worship and who be worshipped? Man or the woman? Let the man worship, that way both parties are content. Otherwise the woman keeps chasing man after man, sometimes the games are played differently.

Logic

It appears to me that when venus is placed in 8th house, romantic relations become a tool for healing. It is how Venus 8h destroys herself and rebuilds after every crush/situationship/break up is over. As if "Devotion to you is finished, now onto someone else but I will kill a part of myself for you, it is my offering to you". Here, Venus is a catalyst for healing, change, emotions, intuition, psychic abilities. A relationship is an invitation door to psychic affairs, here the native is constantly dealing with the emotions, transformations and the unconscious.

They do not get into relationship for status symbol or to make friend with their boyfriend or to admire looks and material wealth. They get into relationship so that the boyfriend can dissect their souls for them, they can dive into the psychic realms and be rescused, only to dive again and again.

Sometimes romantic love feels like being a fish in the waters of the unconscious. The most self aware state caused by relationship. All planets have spiritual significance and so does venus. Venus in 8th house is like navigating the relationship in psychic levels. Enlightenment comes when you trace the pattern of failed expectations and realize that the kind of man you attract has specific psychic qualities, like a hunter, he is driven by his insecurities, instincts, complexes and never satisfied self esteem. If you surrender yourself to him, he will be manipulative and controlling. But if you withdraw your powers and let him surrender to you, you can be the manipulative and controlling one. This is the most difficult kind of relationship because you always have to be alert of the psychic movements of your boyfriend -- what is he thinking, what are his intentions, is he feeling insecure and suspicious?

Usually these ladies are not intentionally manipulative and controlling especially after maturity and spiritual awakening. They accept the man's devotion as an offering and sit on the throne.

But ladies, what about your own devotion?

In the early tumblr days when I joined, I stumbled upon a post that read "Scorpio Venus should just be a polymath, use that insatiable intensity in other means and not just invest all of it in a man..." Venus does not rule studies but it does rule creativity, beauty, art, music, artistic talents, appreciation for beauty. Also in psychic realms, symbolism has a significant merit for the exploration and expression of what is unconscious, unknown and hidden. What does not have a language it is expressed in symbols and art.

It is a difficult lesson I too learned as a Venus in 8H lady by realizing that my particular placement and similar placements to this need to abide by rule that "Man needs to love the woman more for the relationship to work out". But to reach this point of emotional self control, even I had to go through many trials and mental rewiring. I would relapse many times to my devotee state until the repeated relapse made the self control easier.

Sometimes, we have to act opposite to our natural core impulses to make a relationship work. I know that the expected personality archetype of these natives is to "Ride or die, Wear their lover's skin, Soul lover", but in practical life it is not feasible for woman to be so emotional and devotional. It is only her loss because the low self esteem man she usually attracts will feel stagnated, he wants to be challenged and prove his worth to her. Low self esteem does not mean low value man. This lady attracts people with significant past trauma, dark childhood stories, the unhealed sensitive lover -- perhaps that is why she is a healer. Her man can heal but keep your boundaries too.

Marry a Venus in 8h or Scorpio

While Scorpio and 8th House have some similarities: need for transformation, interest in deep and dark matters, intensity of emotions; they are still different as in 8th house deals with other people's money, a secretive life, lots of secrets, dealing with partnership, death and rebirth.

What is seen with these natives, especially ladies, is that their relationship or marriage is never "stable". You see how ladies like to flaunt their husbands, post pictures and how much they love their partner to social media and be in public eye? But these natives are the kind to hide their relationship. As if it is not true love if it needs public approval. Also, we see how couples stay the same way 5+ or 15+ years later as if nothing has changed; but for these 8th houser couples, they reborn so many times that they don't even know who they were 5 months back. Two different types of lives!

Here, the wife and husband/girlfriend and boyfriend are both cynical type, suspicious, reading people, their intentions, behaviour, motivations, emotions. They never relax until they get to the root of any matter and then pick another matter and question, question, question everything. Trust is important to them, even more than euphoria of love.

Why Trust?

Their life theme is usually that their childhood and relationship history are such that it is twisted, confusing, as if they were sleepwalking through a relationship and never really there. For this reason, when the relationship finally breaks down, they begin to realize how it was all just a delusion! Here, a relationship or situationship is the catalyst to bring all childhood memories to the surface and healing is a prerequisite to a better improved relationship. But all this is not easy! When they awaken from the state of "sleepiness" then their reality is shifted! Oh, I missed that red flag! Oh-he was keeping secrets from me! Oh, that was manipulation tactic! Oh, he was just like my father!! Their reality is shattered and results in cognitive dissonance, chaos, breakdown, obsessive rumination, ego dissolves, problems with self concept come to surface. "Healing" for them means to work on their Self Concept, that is, identity, confidence, self respect, boundaries, getting rid of emotional brain fog, learning what a relationship is supposed to look like, learning individuation.

8th house Venus is natural shadow worker. She intuitively knows the traits, flaws, faults, motivations, darkness and morbidity in other people. But her tendency is to integrate those dark parts in herself which is why 8H dissolves the boundary between right and wrong, bad and good, moral and immoral. To understand herself, she understands other humans. Not just the light and positive parts but the psychopathic, criminal, morbid, terrifying, scary human psychology. It is like food to her soul, to know the suffering and pain in the world. A sadist or a spiritually awakened being?

Since cognitive dissonance is a big thing for her, her no 1 priority in relationship is someone whom she can trust. Someone who will maintain her reality, will be honest, give her emotional security and keep her mentally stable. A dishonest or deceptive lover is her nightmare because the chaos of "figuring out my boyfriend" will drain her. She needs someone who is transparent and self aware so that her emotions are stablized and fears under control.

Husband

Like attracts like. Boyfriend/husband himself is mirror to these ladies. He is also suspicious, cynical, peeling layers of emotions, craving depth, has unstable self concept unless he is actively working on it, jealousy and possessive are not cute things, they are symptoms of weak Self concept. Since both parties are similar in nature, they understand each other. But not every marriage is that fulfilling! Sometimes partners are really incompatible or the awakening never happens, 8th house never activates. So, just 8th placement is not enough but the timing and dasha will determine how spiritual, healer, psychic they are.

Partner may have this past history, all or any of them:

Man with trauma, dark childhood

Loving a man with dark past

Scapegoat of his family

Fragile masculinity, emasculated by society

Emotionally neglected by his parents

Her man needs healing, security and understanding

He is a hunter type, fears abandonment, controlling

Mommy issues, his mom was a dragon, devours him, he is afraid of his femininity

Man is psychically penetrating, hyperalert, always reading the room, sensitive to energy, psychic types

Most Important

If Venus is in 8th house, this marriage is life changing. Transformative. Significant status difference between maiden life and married life. "Woah! She married that gentleman! He is so rich." Like in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett marries Mr. Darcy who is high class, wealthy and royalty type. There is something luxurious, old money, typical about this marriage. A typical politically connected or socially prestigious family. Sometimes people say 8th house is Karmic, fated, to let go control, money owed to them. I wonder if it is their husband who is paying back her debts to her? Is that why marriage transforms her life? Is marriage a karmic contract to pay back her loan given to husband? Perhaps it is.

Forced to Inner World

At some point in her life, she realized that her life was not quite same as others. She got aware of "psyche" something which has no evidence and is not scientific or physically seen. But for these natives, they are intuitively aware of psyche and how it surrounds us everywhere. In Man and His Symbols, Dr. Carl Jung says how the primitive people were so unconscious that they simply acted on their impulses and the images they saw in their head. They even thought that the animals and trees were their soul/spirit and were deeply submerged in the unconscious. 8th house is like that state of unconsciousness and then you come to awareness with a shock and again go back to unconsciousness. We are living in a flow state and only when something crisis, emergency or catastrophic happens that we awaken and soon go back to the flow state. That "awakening" is the hallmark of this house.

Another thing to be seen here is that these natives are forced to live in the inner world. They do not choose spirituality but have no choice - are forced to choose it. Since their emotions and conscience are quite sharp, they "feel" their way through life. (Trigger warning death) Let's say you killed your parents' dog accidentally and hid it in their own backyard and then lied about it to your parents when they asked where dog is. As the days go by, you feel that regret growing larger and larger. It creeps on you, eats you from inside, feels heavy in your body. That "I did something wrong" feeling never goes away. Imagine living with that feeling 24x7, that is your conscience.

For these natives, their conscience is just hyperactive. It is their guide through life. If they dismiss their conscience, they are faced with external consequences in physical life. There is a saying "As above, so below" which fits to these natives, which means that the inner life and outer life are just the reflection of each other. If we sit back to think about the past, we realize how everything is connected to everything else. That nothing was random. Self-reflection and pattern seeking are highlighted in this house. Any planet that is placed in 8th or 12th house is partially submerged in the underworld and the only way to maintain a life is to dig that "hidden" something. Occult tools, psychoanalysis, reading people, meditation are really helpful to make the unconscious comprehensible. This way they can even avoid the unnecessary unpreditable sufferings of this house.

I have seen how native if lives absent mindedly, without thinking of their actions, they always face instant karma in physical life or the psychic life. In psychic world, they feel guilt, unexplainable regret, negative emotions, shame, depression, etc. If they ignore these symptoms for too long, it will all explode with a blast BUT the healing will finally begin. For the sake of your mental stability, keep doing self reflection and avoid unnecessarily events and suffering.

It takes some time and understanding to realize what Self awareness means. The society we live in, cultural and social behaviours are contrary to self awareness. We live in an extraverted, materialistic, narcissistic society; you have to just be opposite of that -- introverted, spiritual and empathetic. These natives are not born healers, they are wounded healers. They may even feel external locus of control and surrender to psychic forces because their life is just so stormy.

My only advice is: To keep your eyes open! Just because your friends or some celebrities can indulge in behaviours and get away with it, it does not mean that you can too. Instant Karma is something that happens in 8th housers life a lot. Once you identify it, you can then change your behaviour and language to avoid these suffering.

Venus in 8h Short Story

So you will pay me money...

Just so I can **feel** for you?

Really, really feel...

You will just sit and watch me feeling myself...?

Obsessions for 8th Housers?

Do 8th housers get obsessed with someone and stay obsessed for years? It may not be romantic interest but even someone who displays the traits and emotions that the native embodies inside - quite literally the shadow work.

It happens in their life that they often get obsessed with someone, thinking about them all the time, when they speak they only speak about that person, they cannot even attempt to think about someone else, their emotions are tied to that person's behaviour, their memory is flooded with that person, they think about all the conversations with them and all the encounters with them, they make up scenarios in their head, begin their day with that person and end with that person. The subject of their obsession may not even know that the native is obsessed with them, native pretends everything is normal on the outside but secretly inside they are obsessing over that one person like crazy

You would wonder what the hell is this? Is it something deeply psychological issue? It turns out that these natives get obsessed with people who have something in their physical or material life that the native lacks but wants to have. 8th house deals with intense emotions and envy too is felt intensely. They are often not happy at the success of others and may even feel envious of other people's accomplishments. 8th house is psychologically complicated for a reason. If the native does not have certain things in life, he feels envious and bitter against someone who does have that thing. It could be something like respect in society, powerful job, elite lifestyle, somebody's looks or intelligence.

The natives may not even realize they are doing it and since envying someone is frowned upon socially as ethically incorrect, they feel ashamed of their emotions and add to the self-sabotage. That something is wrong with them or that they are a bad person for envying someone else's good fortune. Even talking about this behaviour is taboo because who wants to admit that they are an envious and greedy person? The envy is not unfounded because in - the material world a lot of people compete for few resources so most people are bound to lack the resources; - not everyone starts from the same point in life; - not everyone has the same natural inclination or potential; - not everyone wins the genetic lottery or is exceptionally lucky; - not everyone has the required intelligence or ability to understand concepts. The usual things that successful people say "I am here because I worked hard, the harder I work the luckier I get" is not quite correct because our decisions, choices, thoughts, instincts, impulses, motivations are often unconscious and only make sense in the hindsight. They also underestimate the extreme luck they had to beat the competition and know the right method that makes them successful at something.

On top of that, many of them go on to flash, rub it in other's faces, identify with their success and use it for hierarchy control. That others are inferior to them, "you are an inferior human because you are not as successful as me". Often they do it unconsciously because they do not realize it is their insecurities and inferiority complexes, despite the success, that they still want to prove themselves to others and maintain their dominance over others. It is true that not everyone who gets successful in life is capable of handling that success emotionally, it goes to their head, they become arrogant and flamboyant, they are convinced that they are great and special, that they know better than others, that they must be better humans with better karma. This is no surprise, what I am telling is the insights I have observed over the years.

Take this astrology page, for example. I know astrology because it was a natural impulse in me, it is easier for me to understand the language of astrology than others who are simply not meant for it, since it is my natural interest I also spend a lot of time thinking about it so I automatically get better at it naturally, for some reason I was born with the genetic lottery in occult and a natal chart with karmic influences in the field of occult. None of my family members are into astrology and some of them do not even know the basics. Astrology is like Spanish to them, completely dumbfounded they are when they see the birth chart. Does this mean I am a better human than them because I understand something they do not? Can I use the astrological knowledge to dominate and show off to others? No, that is arrogance, pride, being self-important and being delusional that my astrology knowledge is something I willed. I did not will it, it happened to me. And it is not permanent and eternal, I will die someday and with that my astrology gifts will end too. It is my purpose for this lifetime, not eternally giving.

For these reasons, 8th house is the shadowy and complicated thing that we do not understand on the surface. How easy it is to slip into entanglements of pride, ego, arrogance, possession over your material accomplishments. What we do not realize is that behind the glamour of success is deep fear of uncertainty, insecurity, lack of agency over one's life and fear of losing everything they have gained in life. Fear of losing good fortune makes someone dominate others so nobody else takes their place, become arrogant because internally they do not believe they actually deserve their good fortune, manipulate and misguide others so they do not become successful like them, build a brand for themselves so they leave a legacy and remain important even after death, they try to act like they know the secrets of success because they cannot digest that their success might just be a fluke or gamble of luck.

However, if these tendencies are ignored and dismissed, they bottle up inside and inflate the native's ego. With transition to 8th house or activation of 8th house in its ruler's dasha, this inflated ego is threatened and forced to collapse, undergo change and transform. The end result is to gradually realize that ego is merely an attachment to material form but what we forget to see is the wholeness of Self beyond the ego. When you go beyond "I, my, mine, myself", you realize that you are a nameless, faceless and invisible something. How scary is it to be a nothing in nowhere as a nobody! So you cling to the past, identity, material life, out of fear that you will never come back from the underworld.

So the obsessions that happen to 8th housers are indication of personal issues that native denies. For eg, it may be someone you deeply hate, even the way they talk just disgusts you, the way they move sends chills down your spine, you hate their vibes and how selfish they are. But at the same time, you are obsessed with them, does this person deserve your obsession? No. But can you shake it off? Not unless you accept the hard truth that you are just as selfish, deceitful, egotistical as the subject of your obsession. The rule of 8th house is that awareness and consciousness will set you free while denial and refusal to look into the shadow will keep you trapped.

Similarly, if you are envious of someone's fortune, can you identify your insecurities and label them? Can you achieve that fortune in some way? If not, can you adjust your perception around it? Often feelings are the guiding lights in this house. What no one can tell you, you feel your way through it. Here is no guru and no mentor, here is you and your feelings. That is why being in tune with your feelings is painful, mentally uncomfortable and tiring but essential task for 8th housers. Lucky are those who identify this psychological hurdle. There are many 8th housers who never realize that they can solve their own problems with change of perception or becoming more conscious of their feelings. Often, the obsessions with people will end when you are self-aware and witnessing your feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they are.

Ladies with Venus 8h

Make sure you date someone who's not already secretly dating someone else

By the time you find out, you are neck deep in emotions

It may drive you crazy to the point of psychosis to wipe the memory clean and begin afresh

Because when you give yourself to someone, you give without thinking

Also, for you ladies the rules are reversed. While other women may love the man equally or do a lot of things for the man or as we see in media that women sing and flirt with man playfully

You ladies, on the other hand, attract equally intense and "complex" man. He may either be evolved or unevolved. If unevolved, he will lose interest the moment you show him that you love him too (so frustrating)

Unevolved Scorpionic man are chasers, hunters, driven by power and do not have understanding of their emotional turmoils. They simply suppress them or project their emotions on you

So when dealing with man, if you can afford to do some emotional control and realize that your life theme runs in OPPOSITE direction of general dating rules, you will not feel confused and overwhelmed

As for your man, I think he needs to ride out his insecurities. When he is evolved, he will feel safe in his worth and not walk on eggshells around you but only when he evolves and finds connection with something larger than life

Jacques Lacan had Venus in the 8th House

And that is quite visible in his work. Some of his quotes are shared below. These are the words of someone who must have felt the tragedy of losing a grip over their reality. Who must have lived a fantasy first and seen it tear apart later. Therefore comes the school of psychoanalysis.

What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?

Love is giving something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it.

All sorts of things in this world behave like mirrors. 

His description of psychology and the unconscious touches the depths and borders of the unknown. It is the exploration of the 8th house but in a scientific way rather than spiritual or magical. Perhaps it is the closest we can get to understanding this house of astrology:

I always speak the truth. Not the whole truth, because there's no way, to say it all. Saying it all is literally impossible: words fail. Yet it's through this very impossibility that the truth holds onto the real.

I identify myself in language, but only by losing myself in it like an object. What is realised in my history is not the past definite of what was, since it is no more, or even the present perfect of what has been in what I am, but the future anterior of what I shall have been for what I am in the process of becoming.

Desire, a function central to all human experience, is the desire for nothing nameable.

As to why 8th house Venus could influence Lacanian psychology, we find its answer in the nature of this house. This excerpt is from Barbara Pijan's article on her website:

Whichever graha occupy bhava-8 become fuel for the Kuja (Mars) -Ketu magical-transformation engine of hidden and secret tantric processes in the human consciousness. Will the native become a victim of this process or an instigator of it? A long-lived and wise magician, or a tragic childhood death? A brilliant surgeon or psychiatrist? An attorney of wills and estates? Or a sorcerer, caster of curses, agent of superstitious fear and petty control? Will"self-destructive" urges be recognized as healing transformations, or will the native and-or his culture adjudge such behaviors to be undesirable?

True to this description, Lacan did indeed become a brilliant psychiatrist. If you read how he speaks of psychoanalysis, it is not merely his profession or source of income, it is rather something that has touched something inside him, that he cannot articulate but knows it is connected to psychology. How do we even know if something is scientific work and not the gibberish of a mystic who speaks whatever he wants? Anyone with planets in the 8th house or aspects to this house is bound to experience a similar psychic fate: of self-undoing and psychological analysis.

The madman is not only a beggar who thinks he is a king, but also a king who thinks he is a king.

Yet, analytical truth is not as mysterious, or as secret, so as to not allow us to see that people with a talent for directing consciences see truth rise spontaneously.

Obsessional does not necessarily mean sexual obsession, not even obsession for this, or for that in particular; to be an obsessional means to find oneself caught in a mechanism, in a trap increasingly demanding and endless.

In other words, the man who is born into existence deals first with language; this is a given. He is even caught in it before his birth.

A letter to my unrequited love - I

{Confessions of a scorpio moon}

I thought I loved you. It was dangerous. I was intimidated how severely you controlled my mind. I was willing to do anything to please you. To give up my freedom, my studies, my family, my friends, my foundation just to spend time with you. I'd stare at my phone with anxiety crawling up my skin, wondering if you were ignoring me on purpose. You always did it intently. It would drive me mad. I'd be so hurt and pissed knowing you'd read my messages but would never care to reply. I would never understand why I would reply to you in milliseconds when you'd make me wait for hours. Why I'd hurt after hurting you as a form of reactive abuse. I always wanted to soothe your pain, to ease your suffering, to make you feel loved because I saw past your facade. I knew how you'd be the cool guy, the life of the party, the social butterfly who could charm anyone. But I wanted to be the special one who'd lock eyes with you and make you mine. I never felt like I deserved you. I put you on a pedestal and worshipped you like God. I always felt like you were everything that was considered "cool" by the society. People would admire you. They would give in. I did too. You could draw in anyone you liked. You had the game. You could lay eyes on anyone and have them by sweet talking them into your trap. I knew you were playing me. My intuition tried to warn me several times. The red flags seemed dangerous every now and then but being the reckless lover that I am, I thought you'd be the right person to break my heart. Maybe, I expected too much from you. I wanted you to fill the voids I had. I wanted to be consumed by your love. I needed your attention constantly. I wanted to talk to you 24*7 although I never really had much to talk about. I was boring as hell but you, there would always be messages lined up for you. I felt privileged and honoured to receive a reply from you. It validated me. I felt seen. And heard. And appreciated. It was the best feeling ever. I had only been abandoned, discarded and used all my life. Being validated felt magical for a change. It made me want to surrender my life to you. I started living as per your terms. I'd do little things you'd mention in conversations to become your ideal lover in hopes of being noticed by you. But time and again, you'd fail to notice me. As if I was never there. But I was. I was always there for you. Through thick and thin. Right before your eyes.

-R