Here We Go Again

Here we go again

I'll just pass the driving exam and I'll be able to go for long night drives

Just let me pass that shit

So I've been thinking and "diagnosing" (not mentally) myself lately and I think I got something about my past life

So I think I was a slave who was hanged for being a witch. I was starving from time to time for a fun of my lord and he was using me for his sexual fantasies.

I can't actually explain why I feel that way but I really want to find out if I am right. That would be funny to be right

This time when I'm just lying in bed with my music and do nothing is back

Not because I want to do nothing

No

I just don't have a motivation to do so

I feel sick

I feel bad

I feel sad

I don't feel like myself

I feel crazy

I just had a doctor appointment

And he said that I should quit smoking and don't loose more weight

That's a joke, right ?

Those two things are keeping me alive, man

I can't just quit them

Yesterday I finally found courage to aks for help, maybe not straightforward but they got it, and what I got for that?

"No, you're fine."

"You just need to smile."

"Maybe work with yourself. You know some tricks."

"Find positivity."

Ugh no

I mean I asked for help, I found the courage to do so and you just ignore that?

Thank you

But at the end they said they will look for a specialist

But I feel like they don't believe me

But they are checking on me... what's annoying

But they don't buy it

When your 'oversized' clothes finally are oversized!