I Am Kinda Offendend By The Lack Of Interest The People Behind Shadow And Bone Put In Me Personally And

I am kinda offendend by the lack of interest the people behind Shadow and bone put in me personally and my response to seeing the "stay in ketterdam" scene on screen. I mean , you'd think they'd at least come ask for permission before turning my entire existence upside down.

If there's one thing that absolutely shattered me into little pieces and made me feel so seen and so vulnerable at the same time it's this random quote from a site about suicidal tendencies:

"Sometimes it’s not so much that you want to die but that you no longer want to bear the pain of living"

and FUCK how true it is and how badly it hurts and how it constantly echoes in my mind sometimes fainter and sometimes stronger but it NEVER leaves because I feel this so deeply it's like they took the words right out of my soul

kanej eye contact. helnik's story. wesper meeting. kaz's backstory. the six of them together. we're getting it all in less than a month and the trailer comes out today

no but actually andrew telling neil he hates him before kissing him for the first time is sooooo. like andrew never expresses any emotion unless he’s feeling it intensely. he’s always like idc either way when it comes to anything BUT neil. he feels for him so strongly even then he can’t help but spit it out. what matters isn’t those words, it’s the meaning behind them. he’s so overwhelmed by his inability to stop worrying about neil, thinking about neil, that he has to voice it out somehow without compromising himself. i hate you is you’re always on my mind, i hate you is i hate that i can’t stop, i hate that you matter to me, that i cannot be impartial about this. i hate you is an invitation and a promise. i tried to fight this but i know i cant, so fight for both of us until im ready to meet you halfway. stay.

No one:

Absolutely no one ever:

Me on a daily basis: ... ten years of war they killed us slowly, but now we'll be the ones who ✨💅 SLAAAY✨💅

Favourite genres of media include ‘makes me want to lie on the floor’ and ‘have to stop and stare into space about it for a while’ and sometimes both of those as well as ‘has rewired my brain so completely I will think about it every day forever’