Got My Compression Gloves! Feels Weird But Theyre Forcing Me To Not Do Weird Finger Things So Much.

Got my compression gloves! Feels weird but they’re forcing me to not do weird finger things so much.

Masterlist of information and resources for dissociative disorders, including dissociative amnesia, depersonalization-derealization disorder, and dissociative identity disorder (+ subtypes)

**THESE RESOURCES AND INFORMATION ARE NOT TO BE USED TO SELF-DX YOURSELF. THESE ARE MEANT TO BE A STARTING POINT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE DISORDERS. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING, DO MORE RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN. AND IF YOU CAN, SEE AND TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL. FURTHERMORE, I CAN BE WRONG! THESE ARTICLES CAN BE WRONG! YOU CAN SEND US ARTICLES/PAPERS ON ANYTHING HERE TO CORRECT US, AS LONG AS IT IS NOT A CARRD OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. THIS IS A STARTING POINT, A LAUNCHPAD IF YOU WILL, NOT THE FINISH LINE. **

I would also like to remind you that all systems are different. Systemhood is a spectrum, and you will see this in multiple articles on this masterlist.

Many of these articles come from did-research.org. If anyone has any other articles or papers for any of the following topics, please either dm me or send an ask. Do not reblog/comment with the article/paper.

**Some links may contain mentions of cult abuse and/or ritual abuse. This will be mostly in the polyfragmented area of this masterlist.

An overview of dissociative disorders

Resources for dissociative disorders

Expert questions and answers (the switching one in this is not very accurate, I touched on it more in the DID portion of this masterlist)

What causes dissociation (focuses more on DID but still important. please note that it's very long and wordy.)

6 DID myths (another long and wordy one. touches on the following: the belief that DID is a “fad”, the belief that DID is primarily diagnosed in North America by DID experts who overdiagnose the disorder, the belief that DID is rare, the belief that DID is an iatrogenic disorder rather than a trauma-based disorder, the belief that DID is the same entity as borderline personality disorder, and the belief that DID treatment is harmful to patients. Iatrogenic, in this instance, means "induced in a patient by the treatment or comments of a physician" according to the National Institutes of Health)

7 DID myths (easier to read, and covers different topics. Confirms there is not a limit to how many alters a system can have.)

Even more DID myths (NOTE. This article will say that different alters can have their own mental health issues. Please refer to "Can alters have different disorders than the body?" in the Dissociative Identity Disorder section of this post.)

You can find the start of the DSM-5 information on dissociative disorders here, page 336

A quick overview of Dissociative Disorders (this one has OSDD and subtypes)

DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA:

What it is + cases/examples

More information, explanations of treatment, and other important Q&A's

Other information (basically a summary of the above two, but might be a little easier to read)

Amnesia in Dissociative Amnesia

More types of Amnesia in Dissociative Amnesia

DEPERSONALIZATION-DEREALIZATION DISORDER:

Causes, Symptoms, and more

Living with the disorder, treatment, diagnosis, and more (the overview/symptoms and causes isn't entirely accurate, but still provides a baseline)

A more compact version of the above two (but less in-depth)

An easier to read version of the above two (least in depth but covers the basics)

The most in depth (but also hardest to read and contains a lot of long words and sentences without a lot of breaks. tiny font too)

DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER:

Overview of DID

What causes DID? (scroll down to "Risk Factors")

What causes DID? (part 2)

The Theory of Structural Dissociation (the very long and complicated version)

The Theory of Structural Dissociation

Problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation

What are alters?

Different types of alters (This one goes into detail not only about what alters are, but different types of them and how they help the body/mind. There is some misinformation sprinkled within, so don't take anything as a total fact until you do further research.)

Different types of alters (this one is easier to read and created by a system who is/was in therapy. I am uncertain if the system is diagnosed, but the basic alters and basic functions match up with many diagnosed DID systems.)

Notes on non-human alters (and why you can have entire systems of just non-human alters)

Fictives (this was literally the only article i could find. please send me more.)

A paper that talks about DID and fictives (this one was sent to me and I was unable to read it due to personal reasons)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (A woman who was diagnosed with DID was reported to have 2,500 alters)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (A center in Utah who specializes in DID confirms as many as 4,500 alters have been reported)

Is there a limit to how many alters a system can have? (Researchers are still unsure, but up to 4,500 have been reported. Scroll down to "multiple personalities")

Fragments (the most basic definition)

Fragments (scroll down to F)

Fragments

OSDD and UDD

An overview of the types of OSDD

OSDD Type 1 (You can find OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A in there)

OSDD Type 2 and OSDD Type 3 (there was barely any information on these two outside of wikipedia and other not-really-professional blogs that i had access to, but I tried my best)

OSDD Type 2 and OSDD Type 3

OSDD Type 2 and OSDD Type 3

OSDD Type 4 (this will take you to a page called "Trance Disorder". That is what it's called in the ICD-11) (Possession Trance Disorder is also similar, you can find that here)

P-DID/Partial DID

Splitting, is it always trauma based? (the short answer, no. Direct quote: Many individuals cannot split unless a split is strictly necessary for their protection, functioning, or ability to remain hidden as a system. That said, there are exceptions. Some individuals may become so used to using splitting as a coping mechanism that they may split easily in response to seemingly minor stressors. For example, if an individual finds going to the doctor triggering, an alter may split that exists only to attend medical appointments. In some cases, systems may be so destabilized that even trauma processing leads to the creation of new parts.)

Polyfragmented DID: the very very basics

Polyfragmented DID: notes from a diagnosed polyfragmented DID system

Polyfragmented DID (you can find it on the side bar)

More notes on polyfragmented DID from a system, unable to tell if the system is diagnosed or in therapy

Comorbid disorders

Can alters have different disorders than the body? (I couldn't find a link, but short answer, yes and no. Neurodevelopmental disorders are things that are shared by all headmates, since it's all the same brain. So things like autism, ADHD, conduct disorders, those all are implemented into the brain and therefore all alters will have them. For stuff like eating disorders however, one alter may struggle with an eating disorder while others might not. Different alters can also present different symptoms/severity of a disorder.)

This is a post about a system(?) talking about fusion and their experiences

Integration and Fusion (or in simpler terms, integration is the act of breaking down amnesia barriers and building communication. Fusion is the act of fully integrating two parts into one.)

Dormancy (I could not find a good/reliable link, but it's basically when an alter "goes to sleep" for a period of time. This period of time can be long or short, and can happen for a multitude of reasons.)

Final Fusion and Functional Multiplicity

Time loss, Co Fronting, and Co Consciousness

Switching (covers passive influence too)

Passive Influence defined

Basics types of amnesia, not necessarily system related

More types of amnesia

The three most common types of amnesia from the system community, not necessarily scientific

-Emotional amnesia: where you don’t remember any emotions that you were feeling during the memory.

-Greyouts: when you remember what happened but have no memories of it, as if someone told you about the event and you might be able to recall certain details, but you weren’t there.

-Blackouts: when you don’t remember anything about what happened, and you often don’t remember that you missed something.

Innerworlds

Subsystems

Apparently Normal Parts and Emotional Parts

Primary Structural Dissociation

Secondary Structural Dissociation

Tertiary Structural Dissociation

You can find more resources here

A helpline that can help you understand and manage PTSD, dissociative disorders, and trauma can be found at (410) 825-8888 according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness

Crisis Text Line is a Text and Online Chat service provides 24/7 free support to those struggling with various mental health issues, including DID. Online chat: crisistextline.org Text: 741741

NAMI offers a volunteer helpline staffed by knowledgeable professionals who can answer your questions and connect you with valuable resources within your area. Call: (800) 950-6264 Text: Text "Helpline" to 62640

Basically every hotline you could need

Once again, these resources and information are not to be used to self-dx yourself. That means do not read this information and immediately say "oh yea i have this disorder". This is meant to be a starting point to learn more about dissociative disorders. If you feel like you might have any, do more research on your own. And, if you can, see and talk to a professional about it. These articles can be wrong. I can be wrong. We accept articles/papers/studies on anything here to correct us. Our only request is that it is not a carrd or something along those lines. This information is a starting point, and is not final.

Another good post about the basics of DID (not dissociative disorders in general, just DID and subtypes) can be found here

pinnochio! 🫵🤣 you will never be a real boy!

i mean pinnochio did become a real boy. that was a pretty significant part of the story. i understand that you’re just being transphobic but pinnochio did very much become a real boy.

Finding Your Identities: Figuring Out Your Alters When Your Alters Aren't "Distinct" "People"

I have been wanting to make this post for a very long time now.

I have talked countless times on this blog about how a lot of the "how to figure out your alters" lists do not and cannot apply to me, or systems who may be like me, for a variety of reasons.

We do not have distinct senses of selves, we don't feel like our own distinct individuals, in any way whatsoever. There is no specific, unique, distinct "cue" or feeling or anything that tells me I've switched, or tells me that a specific, distinct alter is fronting who is different from any other alters. There is no specific, distinct THING that tells me "okay yeah that was very obviously and specifically and undeniably a different alter."

It's easy to deny you have alters when your alters are not distinct individuals who know they are their own unique, separate selves. It's easy to deny you have alters when it always feels like "you."

If you don't experience your alters as distinct 'entities' where you can obviously and distinctly refer to them as "that is (that specific alter) and that is not (these other alters)", it can be nearly impossible to figure out your alters at all.

This has been a horrible aspect of my denial since essentially the beginning. I mean, when everything online tells you that DID involves a distinct sense of "not me" to it, how can you know if you have it if it doesn't feel that way to you?

Now obviously I DO have that feeling of "not me"... It's just not described using those specific words. I was taking it all way too literally (thanks, autism NFKDSFDKJ).

It's more like "I don't really feel that way anymore" or "yeah I felt that way, but not anymore."

Or "I don't really relate to that anymore" or "I don't really like this as my identity anymore" or "I don't like this name anymore."

Or "this feels like someone else's life" (but more of a feeling, it's not like I just suddenly don't know anything in my life anymore. I know my girlfriend and love her still and I know I live in this house, etc.)

I'll feel like I am attending therapy because I have to, or I'll feel like I'm relaying information that I know factually, as if I was told a story of things that happened and I have to relay that information to someone else.

Or just generally a weird feeling that something is off.

And that's the thing - dissociation (for me personally) is less like "things aren't real" and "I'm not real" and more like just a vague feeling that something is OFF, and you don't know what, and you can't explain it.

I remember as a kid feeling like I'm the "only conscious being" or "feeling like I'm in an anime" or "acting out a dramatic scene in a movie." Now all three of those descriptions still fall under "feeling like things aren't real/etc." but I never interpreted it that way, because of how literally I take things, I didn't make the connection, because I never used the SPECIFIC wording of "feeling like I'm not real/feeling like the world isn't real/etc."

I straight-up told one of the first therapists I saw for a DID diagnosis that I "don't really dissociate at all" because I don't really experience the "nothing is real/I'm not real/etc."

This, too, brought me a lot of denial, because people only describe dissociation as "things don't feel real", "you don't feel real", "you feel like you're floating", "you're watching yourself", "you're watching the world through fog/glass", etc. And because I never really used those specific words to explain my feelings and experiences, I figured I wasn't really experiencing any dissociation, or at least just very rarely and mildly so.

That's a key thing here - the WORD CHOICES being used to describe alters, systems, CDD experiences, etc. don't really match up with my experiences at all. I take things extremely, extremely literally, and when everybody describes their alters and refers to them as distinct, different people, it's hard to feel like your experiences are the more common experience, especially when people around you might continue to reinforce that denial, by assuming you must not have alters, or you have a different disorder, etc., because you are "always awake and present no matter what alter is fronting", etc.

Your personal interpretation of your experiences matters a LOT when it comes to CDDs, figuring out if you have a CDD, and it also plays a large role into how your system might present/feel/look/what alters you have/etc.

For example, many people interpreted their alter experiences and switches as creating characters. That, then, might become a huge aspect of figuring out your alters - you might realize that many of the characters you've made (or all of them) through the years were actually alters. With that lens, you might, then, be able to have a lot of knowledge about your alters based off of that alone - those "characters" might have specific characteristics, lore, designs, etc. that you then realize were all a part of that alter.

You might also, then, find that each time you find yourself making a "new" "character", it's actually just a new alter forming/splitting (or perhaps them just finding out their own identity).

The way you personally interpret your experiences, your feelings, your life, memories, etc. all impact your alters and your system - the way your alters identify, the way it FEELS when alters front, the way your system presents, etc.

I grew up believing I was making things up and lying for seemingly no reason, for attention, because I liked being cool and special. Or that I was purposely acting out a fake, dramatic movie, just to add more drama.

In reality, I was experiencing alter switches and dissociation, but because I interpreted it in those ways, we now have a very difficult time trying to accept and believe that these are real feelings, real experiences, outside of my control, instead of me just saying things for attention and acting dramatic just because.

I also very much grew up feeling like "nothing ever sticks, so why bother taking anything seriously." Now, pretty much all of us still have this attitude, this feeling of "why bother coming up with a name, why bother taking (my feelings, etc.) seriously when it's just gonna go away and not come back."

I would feel confident in a decision or an identity or a name change and so on, only for me to change it the next day, or the next week, and so on.

This made things like questioning my gender identity and wanting to change my name extremely difficult and impossible because I could never be sure if it was going to actually STICK or just be a temporary, fleeting "phase." I became upset (and still become upset and distressed) every time everything turned out to just be a "phase" instead of a real, actual thing. I still have trouble with this. If I want to cut my hair or dye my hair or get new clothes, I will never be able to know for sure if I'll still like it in a different state. If I want a name change, I don't know if it'll be long-term or if I will change my mind the next day.

DID is more like this, and less like "I'm a totally different person with a distinctly different personality and a different name and I am not ("host")."

And if this is relatable to you, this post may very much help you figure out who your alters are.

A lot of things online that try to give suggestions and ideas for figuring out your alters in a way of "ask (your alters) these questions."

For me, I can't really do that, for a variety of different reasons - our dissociative barriers are too high, there's no inner world, and there's no kind of "distinct voices" that I "hear" speaking to me that are coming from a distinctly different "person." And since we as alters do not experience ourselves as distinct individuals where we just know who we are and know we are our own distinct individuals, it's less like asking my alters these questions, and more like asking MYSELF these questions. I want you keep that in mind going into this post.

When it comes to figuring out alters, what helps me is trying to keep track of patterns of changes in my behaviors, likes, dislikes, hobbies/interests, and more.

The following is a TEMPLATE of things you can ask yourself at different times, during different moods, modes, self-states - whatever you wanna call it.

I tried to make them as general as possible in order to hopefully make the questions apply to a general audience/a wide variety of people, instead of being too specific where they might not apply to most people.

You do not have to ask yourself all of these questions! If you don't know the answer to a question, and/or you don't want to answer a question, it can be important to write that down too! You can skip any questions or change them in any way you like.

If a question feels unhelpful to you, feel free to change it into something that might feel more helpful to you personally, and/or just remove it altogether.

Feel free to expand upon these questions! For example, if a question seems helpful to you, you might have further ideas to expand upon that question into further, more specific questions. I actually totally encourage other people to expand upon these questions and come up with more questions that could help others! Definitely share your thoughts in reblogs if you want.

I want to make it clear, first, that this post is NOT trying to make people OBSESS over this!!!! These questions are meant to help figure out alters, but don't obsess over it!

The purpose of these questions is to simply try and keep track of possible patterns of behaviors, etc., not to obsess over figuring out your alters, not to obsess over figuring out what alter you are, not to obsess over making sure your alters are "consistent all the time" or something. It doesn't matter about knowing "who" you are so much as it matters to let yourself exist as you are, at any given moment. It's to allow yourself to exist and see if there is a pattern of emotions, opinions, preferences, likes, dislikes, interests/hobbies, behaviors, and more that crop of every so often - this is what alters are for a lot of people. Like I said, it's less like "distinct, separate person" and more like a recurring pattern of the same/similar emotions/behaviors/traits/etc. that crop up every so often, oftentimes in response to things, such as topics that you may find triggering (for example: feeling like an angry wolf every time the topic of physical abuse comes up, or feeling like a scared child when you feel like someone said something upsetting), or even positive topics, such as feeling like you become a girl whenever the topic of fashion gets brought up, or feeling like you're 13 when the topic of a childhood beloved TV show comes up.

While "feeling like (xyz) in response to (xyz)" does not necessarily mean you have a CDD, this post is specifically about those experiences under the context of having a CDD. If you relate to anything I wrote in this post, it does not necessarily mean you have a CDD! Similarly, if you DON'T relate to anything in this post, it also doesn't mean you DON'T have a CDD! I am sharing this post with the assumption that the people reading it already know they have a CDD, and/or strongly suspect it.

Questions to ask myself for figuring out alters:

Month day, year. Time (or whatever way you want to write down the month/day/year/time).

What name(s) do I like?:

This doesn't have to be names of specific alters (by that I mean, you don't have to go through your list of alters with specific names to figure out if you like one of them). You can write a vague idea of what name/names you might like (such as "a name related to plants" or "a name that reminds me of the ocean"). You can write down multiple names. You can write down no name. You can write down that you're indifferent. Anything!

What pronouns do I like?:

Again, you can write down anything. If multiple sets of pronouns vibe, write that down! If nothing vibes, write it down! If you don't have any strong feelings/if you're indifferent, write that down too! If you don't know, write that down!

Are there any particular labels I feel drawn to/feel I identify with?:

It can be an LGBTQ+ label (bisexual, demiboy, aromantic, lesbian, etc.), or a label related to something else

What kind of color(s) am I drawn to?:

Darker colors? Pastel colors? Neon colors? Light colors? Etc.

What do I want to do? What would I do if I had the resources (time, money, 'skill', motivation, energy, etc.) (for example, maybe you wish you could play guitar, but you can’t play guitar, don’t have a guitar, etc.)?:

Similarly, is there anything that I might normally be interested in that I find myself no longer wanting to do?:

-- Listening to music: What songs? Am I singing along? What are the songs about? How do I feel about the music? Are there any songs I dislike? Any particular common genre/theme with the music I find myself liking right now?

-- Art: - What kind of art (Digital art? Doing makeup? Sculpting? Knitting? Painting? Woodworking? Photography? Any art counts.) - What is my art style like/what tools am I using? (If digital art, what program am I using? What brushes am I using? Etc. (Different alters might prefer to use different art programs and different art brushes!)) - What does the artwork depict? (Vent art? Are there themes of trauma? Dissociation? Fanart? Something else?)

-- Playing a game: - What game? - What am I doing in the game? Are there different game modes? If so, what mode am I playing? Is my character customizable, and if so, how does my character look? (Some alters might prefer to change the way the character looks to match how they might feel inside!) - Are there any games I don't currently care for?

-- Watching YouTube: - What is the topic of the video? (Is it about a hobby I like? A TV series? A video essay? Something else?)

-- Playing an instrument: - What instrument? - Am I trying to learn a specific song/songs? - Am I making my own music? Are there lyrics to go along with it? - If it’s a specific song (either writing your own, or trying to learn how to play a certain song on an instrument), what is it about? Any specific themes that stick out?

-- Writing: Poetry? Working on a book/short story? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Reading: What am I reading? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Something else…

What am I thinking about?

What am I talking about?

How am I feeling?

Did something trigger me to feel this certain way?

If something triggered me to feel a certain way, do I know the reason(s) why? (For example, if you encountered something that brings up trauma-related feelings, etc.)

You might describe your feelings in ways other than a simple “sad”, “mad”, or “happy.” You might be more specific, such as “I feel like white noise” or “I feel like a dog” or “I feel like an ocean.” This is completely valid and an important thing to keep note of as well. You can even write down that you feel tall, or you feel a different age, or you feel like a certain character.

There are many more questions that you could ask 'yourself' to get to know 'yourselves.' This list is not exhaustive, and like I said, you can simply you this template to bounce off ideas of what questions you, personally, would find most helpful!

I'd love to hear anybody's input, and I hope this post helps anyone. :] If not, feel free to share around anyway, if you want!

I’m gobsmacked that I didn’t know this was because of my hypermobility and it isn’t just an everyday normal thing for people wtf

finding out that non-hypermobile people don’t get food stuck halfway down their chest constantly is baffling to me. like wdym you can eat a sandwich and it doesn’t just decide to stop there

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.