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Is That a New Guy or Am I Losing My Mind; or, A Beginner's Guide to Finding Headmates

Written by Roger de Camden of the Draconic Wizard Workshop

Hello, everybody! This is an essay for both plurals who might struggle finding, identifying, or confirming headmates, as well as people who are questioning whether or not they’re plural. Certain pieces of advice may apply better to questioners than established systems, and vice versa, but rest assured, it is intended for both!

This essay will be broken into several sections for various “phases” of discovery and working things out, but a disclaimer before we get to that: this is heavily based on our own experiences. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of guide. I’m going to try to make it such, but, well, I can’t make any promises, because there are infinite ways of being a system out there, and everyone’s a little different. This is just what I’ve found works for us, and, to a large extent, many of our system friends! That being said, if you try to start syscourse or invalidate other systems for any reason in response to this essay, I’m going to block you and that’s that.

Also, sorry if I go between spellings for words. I’m English, but the body is American and that means that I don’t know how to spell certain words anymore.

So! Onwards, towards discovery!

Step One: Getting an Inkling

The first step to figuring out whether or not you’ve got a headmate (new or otherwise undiscovered; I’ll mostly be calling them “new” as in “new to you”) is having an inkling that one might exist. This is mostly a passive process, and you’re probably familiar with it if you’re reading this guide. Maybe you felt something scuttle through headspace (if you have one) or through the back of your mind. Maybe you felt a presence looming behind you, mentally, that bolted when you “looked.” Maybe you had a very strong emotional reaction to something that makes no sense for you to react to, but would make sense for a character you’ve been really attached to in a show. Or maybe you slipped into an unfamiliar accent, had a loss of memories and woke up with nail polish on in a colour you hate, or just felt an opinion about something that doesn’t match your usual one. Sometimes, you may even “hear” comments about things going on in your mind.

There are a lot of little things that can tip you off. Most of them are going to be things that are misaligned with your own perception of yourself, your opinions, and your behavior. This is usually a sign that someone is co-conscious or co-fronting with you without you being aware of it. Some headmates are very sneaky this way, and some may not realise that they exist at all while doing this! Don’t hold being hard to notice or get a hold of against your headmates—many of them don’t realise that they exist, don’t know how to not be this way, or are doing it for what they perceive to be a good reason (this last one is especially common in disordered systems). Maybe they’re scared, or just not ready to be confronted yet. Don’t worry—remember, you have your whole lives to figure out everyone who’s in there, and the time will pass anyways! Take it easy.

One specific thing that tends to tip us off to a new fictive is that we realise that… no one is aware of running a character that we’re playing in a tabletop roleplaying game. Maybe someone started off running them, but they sure seem to be doing their own thing now! That character may be hard to “turn off” or “put on the shelf” when you stop playing them—and they may continue to make comments and have opinions about things in your life. This is a dead giveaway! Sometimes when we think about a character, we feel a “movement” or interest somewhere in our mind that doesn’t match anyone else’s pattern of thinking or interests, which also can be a giveaway that they’re scuttling around somewhere. Also beneficial, for us, is our synesthesia—every headmate has a colour associated with them, and when we get a thought pattern that seems to match someone but the colour is off, it can make us realise that maybe there’s someone else in here. For example, if someone were to be really interested in jellyfish, we might think that it’s Caspian, but if the colour comes back as red and not blue, then we know for certain that it’s not him.

This first inkling of a new headmate may be obvious or it may be subtle. You may question yourself repeatedly, but remember: if you feel like you are “accidentally faking,” that’s not how faking works. Faking must be done intentionally and on purpose. You could be wrong, yes, but being wrong isn’t inherently bad. It’s just that you were mistaken about something. Nothing wrong with that! We’re all mistaken about all kinds of things every day! Be kind to yourself while trying to figure things out.

Step Two: Are You There, Headmate? It’s Me, Your Other Headmate

Steps two and three are interchangeable in order, but I thought I’d put this one first because it tends to be the one that’s hardest and most distressing, rather than step three, which is about identifying who the hell your headmate is. We’ll get to that, never fear!

So, let’s say you think there might be someone in there. How can you tell for sure? How can you open communication? How can you get them integrated okay?

The bad news is that this depends heavily on the system. The good news is that there’s no need to panic, rush, or be afraid, because once again, you’ll figure it out eventually, and it will be okay!

My first suggestion is to take note of everything that’s made you think there might be someone else in there. Write it down, if that helps! Write down everything that seems to get the entity’s attention, if anything. Write down anything that might help you identify who it might be! In some instances, you might have a character that seems a little independent but you can’t tell whether they’re really a headmate or not. In my experience, this is often how many non-disordered systems (but it’s not exclusive to them!) realise that they’re plural. Knowing who it is will make this step easier, but it isn’t necessary! After all, if you know who it is, you can also write down things that might bait them into responding. Interests and friends of theirs are good examples.

Your goal in this step is to try to draw them out into doing things, speaking, or acting in ways that will give away that they are for certain there. For systems with heavy amnesia or dissociative barriers, this might be significantly harder, but my best suggestion there is to jump straight to trying to communicate, however you can—and this isn’t a bad approach for other systems, either. You can try internal communication, although you might get no response, or an abnormal one, if the headmate is new. For example, with us, new headmates usually respond to direct queries with anxiety—which, while not good for communication and not ideal for the headmate in question, does help us key in on the fact that they definitely exist. You can also try external communication, if internal communication isn’t working or is difficult for you. Write a note in a journal or a sticky note, or even in a notes app or a private Discord server. Sometimes, headmates can find replying over text to be easier. If you’re a high-dissociation and high-amnesia system who is trying to figure out if it’s someone old or new who is fronting and doing things while you’re unaware, leaving sticky notes places asking people to write down who’s fronting when they see it (if they even know who they are) might be helpful. Keep experimenting, and do what works best for you!

As a last resort for uncertain, new, or inexperienced systems, you can try something called “puppeting” on a suspected headmate, especially if you know who they are and just aren’t sure whether or not they’re here. A warning: this is rude and not advised under most circumstances, but sometimes it’s the only way to make absolutely sure that someone is in there with you, especially when you’re not used to it. Have an apology ready and mean it. Puppeting is when you try to force a headmate to do something, especially something unusual or out of character for them. For example, if I thought I might have my character Gorka as a headmate, but I wasn’t sure, I might try to call up a scenario involving Gorka and then try to imagine her doing something wildly out of character, that she would never, ever do. If I couldn’t get a response out of that, or if I had no idea who this new headmate might be, I might just try to make them physically do something—strongly imagining them doing a stupid dance or similar! No response doesn’t necessarily mean you do or do not have a headmate, but a strong response—usually of anger, offense, or “slapping” your “hands” away—indicates someone separate from yourself! Apologize immediately and then attempt to engage in communication once they’ve calmed down a little, or try to transition into it through an explanation. 

There are a lot of reasons that a headmate might not respond to puppeting, though. They might be non-confrontational, or hiding their presence from you intentionally for any number of reasons. (Maybe they’re nervous, not ready to exist yet, afraid of how you might respond, afraid of accepting that they’re in a system—it could be anything.) In cases like this, you might just get discomfort instead of a strong response, which is easy to confuse for being your own rather than theirs. Try to sort out whether you just feel strange doing it, or if it’s someone else’s discomfort bleeding through. I know it’s hard, but that’s a difficult thing to give advice for, I’m afraid! Other reasons may be that they just dip from the front when you try (removing themself from your sphere of influence completely), or if they’re a character you frequently play, they might be so used to being pulled around into doing things that it doesn’t bother them, or bothers them so little that you don’t notice.

Usually, if you’re at the point of trying puppeting, there’s enough signs that this person really is a headmate to dissuade you from trying it once you’re a little more used to it. It’s a temporary and unideal tool that should leave your toolbox as soon as you become confident enough to identify new headmates without getting grabby with them. Undoubtedly, trying to establish communication is a better approach, if you can get it to work.

Usually, once we’ve properly spotted a headmate and made it clear to them that we know they’re there, one of two things happens: either they come sit in the front for a few days or weeks to settle in, let us identify them, and get used to being a full active member of the system, or they realise that they exist and have a panic attack. This “new headmate panic” can last anywhere from a few minutes to multiple days, and may fluctuate in strength. Sometimes, a new headmate might seem fine early on, but have this panic after a few days, weeks, or even longer. Be gentle during this time, especially if you yourself have a strong reaction—be gentle with both, or all, of you! Realizing that you’re in a system can be very distressing, as can realizing you have a new headmate, so try to be gentle, let yourself feel what you’re going to feel, and work through it in the best way you have. Try not to direct any anger or negative feelings towards anyone else in your system during this time, and just let the storm pass before really trying to get to know each other.

Step Three: Who Is This Guy, Anyway?

Once again, you can do this step before or after step two, but I put it here because I decided to include some tips for getting to know your headmate, not just identifying them (if there is anything to identify). If your system is introject-heavy, or if you’re asking yourself if you’re just really interested in a character or if they’re a new headmate, this is an important step! Who is this? Are they an introject of some kind? Are they something or someone else? Is there anything to identify, per se, or is it just a situation of getting to know a whole new person? This is a very, very different step depending on your system, and is going to skew very much towards my own experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I will do my best!

If you’ve already established communication with this headmate, even if it’s shaky, you can try to get information from them that way. They might be willing to give you a name, a code name, a colour, an aesthetic, likes or dislikes, something you can use to familiarise yourself with them or identify them from a list of “suspects” if you have such a thing. (We always do, because we’re almost all fictives, and we know our own patterns at this point.) For us, new headmates almost never actually identify, and just sullenly sit while trying to figure themselves out and will only confirm who they are once we figure it out. It’s sort of like playing a mystery game, assembling clues based on a myriad of factors. If you have some suspicions, just like the previous step, you can try to bait out responses by doing things that might interest who you suspect this headmate might be.

Again, I suggest writing things down! Write down likes and dislikes, things that get their attention, interests, even things that make them anxious or afraid. Whether it’s a case of identification or just getting to know them, this is invaluable information for interacting with someone sharing a head with you, and it may even be helpful for them as they get their feet under them.

Another invaluable tool is talking to people outside of your system. They can help you identify when you’re acting unusually, when you might have someone unfamiliar riding co-conscious, and even who that person might be. You may be too tangled up in your own feelings, your dissociation, or the desperation to understand who is in your head with you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds and lose sight of the big picture, but another friend, especially another system that knows you well, can be extremely helpful! One of our system friends has clocked many a headmate of ours before we were even certain they were there—just “hmm, you’ve been very much like X lately” and they were absolutely right. 

Regardless, taking notes on your new headmate, asking them about themselves, and sharing things about yourself are all important steps to getting to know them! They may be uncomfortable, they may distrust you, they may be afraid—or they could be friendly and excited to be here! It really depends on who it is and their comfort level. Don’t push—if they’re not comfortable talking yet, don’t make them! Let them adjust at their own pace and get to know them as they’re willing to let you. I know it can be distressing to have a totally unknown entity co-fronting with you, but sometimes it’s one of those things that you have to take a deep breath and carry on through until they’re willing to talk. I know you can do it! Talk through it with someone outside of your own head if it’s difficult to give yourself some fortitude if you need to. I know it helps me.

Step Four: Now What?

Let’s say that you’ve confirmed that you do have a headmate, and either have or are on the road to identifying them, if applicable. Now what?

As I’ve said before: be gentle with yourselves! Especially for a new or inexperienced system, and especially for someone who is just realising that they’re a system, this can be overwhelming, distressing, or any other number of emotions. Remember that having or gaining headmates isn’t inherently a bad thing, and while this all might take some getting used to, it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure out an equilibrium eventually, and it is absolutely possible to live a long, happy life with your headmates. Remember that you’re all in this together, and you’re a team.

People may not want you to notice them, may not want to be in the system, or may avoid attention as best they can for a lot of reasons, and trying to make them feel at home, or at least more comfortable, is essential. It can be scary being in a system all of a sudden, especially if they’re an introject or otherwise had a life outside or before this one. Maybe they don’t like the body, or are afraid of another headmate, or are terrified of a negative response from you or someone else. Don’t force these people into situations they’re not ready for! If you’re looking for someone, trying to identify them, or trying to help them, and you’re just causing a lot of distress, back off for a while. Let them calm down and come to you in their own time. Sometimes, you have to do the system equivalent of leaving cookies out on a plate and turning your back to them so that your new headmate can take them without being watched. Take things at the pace that you’re all the most comfortable with, and as always, be kind.

I really do suggest talking to someone about this process, if you can. Journal if you’d like, especially if you can’t trust anyone with this, or don’t feel comfortable doing so yet. Getting your words out of your head helps you sort them out a lot, especially in the case of systems, where a lot of people’s thoughts can get jumbled together. Writing them all down, even if you don’t know whose they are, can be helpful. We find that talking to other system friends is of the most benefit, and our new members are far more likely to speak to them first rather than us, because there’s a degree of separation and that’s more comfortable for them. Whatever works for you, do it! The idea is to get comfortable with each other, and with being here together.

Find things that your new headmate likes doing. Goratrix has a whole panel about this aimed at fictives, but essentially, if your new headmate doesn’t have reason to front and isn’t interested in anything, you probably won’t see much of them, and they may end up miserable. Make sure you engage with them and their interests. Let them make friends if they’d like. Get them snacks. Again: whatever works! This is going to depend very heavily on your system, so follow your gut instinct on this one, I think.

Absolutely essential, though, is to not repress anybody. I know sometimes getting a new headmate can be scary, especially if they’re unfamiliar, frightening, seemingly monstrous, or a persecutor, but remember: they’re probably just as freaked out as you are, if not more so, and they need patience and understanding. Statistically, if they’re doing something troublesome, they’re trying to help and just don’t know how, or are misguided on what “help” looks like. Be kind, and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

Past that… just get to know each other. Figure out how to live together and how to make your combined life the best life it can be. For us, there’s so many of us that someone new can almost always find a fast friend in someone else, and sticks with them for a while until they’re more used to the system and more confident fronting and doing things without their buddy. Other systems may be able to mimic this approach, or may need to do something very different. Again, again, again, do what works best for you! If parts of this guide seem unhelpful or counterproductive, ignore them! This is based on our experience of plurality, not yours. Always do what’s best for you, what helps the most of you, and what causes the least distress while still letting you function as much as you need to.

Being plural is a very personal experience, in a lot of ways, which is pretty funny because sometimes that personal experience is spread across two or twenty or five hundred people. It’s also a very personalized experience, meaning we’re all quite different. Your “now what?” might look very different from ours, and that’s okay. We can only do our best, and that’s always good enough.

I hope this is helpful to someone! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I may edit this guide in the future if it seems that I left something out or think of anything to add. =)

wed usually post this to our system blog but i am also! very lazy and   lays down anyways i didnt know fronting as so tiring?? i’ve been infront for about two days (first in co-front, second in main front) now and im!! exhausted! ;; ~ 🏵️ Mary (She/It)

new pinned! 🎉

so we're the Arcade Carpet Collective! but you can call us the carpets!

we're a traumatic osdd-1b system with over 100 members and that's very very fictive heavy, mainly from the Mandela Catalogue! we're also diagnosed autistic and possibly have adhd so please use tone tags and be patient with us. we're also an artist so art might be posted here and there

collectively you can call us cade, hatchet or comet and use they/he/it/glass/soul!

--- frequent fronters/main posters

Rusty -> host -> they/he/soul/it (-✨) -> masc/neu terms

Damien -> primary protector + co-host -> vhs/he/static/it (-📼) -> neu/masc terms

Cesar -> caretaker (littles) -> it/flower/he -> any terms

Mark -> caretaker (teens/adults) -> he/ghost/tape/record -> masc terms

---

also im Evelin! i use she/they, i use fem terms! idk my role yet.

---

DNI

- basic dni

- endos

- proshippers

INT

- systems

- tmc fans

- artists

- therians/otherkin

- lgbtgia+

- nd people

(please we need friends lmao)

↓ image was found on Pinterest!

recently, my system split an ismark kolyanovich fictive, his names lesser, he's the sweetest

THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST THO LOLOL, our dm added some backstory to Is, having him have a girlfriend who used him for money and rep, .. Our DM asked Lesser if he remembered her, he said yes ans described her to our DM and our DM said that he perfectly described her and even got her name and favourite colour right... fictives are insane /lh

With Lesser's help, i drew him and his ex (with his permission, drawing alter's traumas without permission is just.. rude.)

Gonna be honest with you

CDD community is shitty 98% of the time and systems don't help to make it a better place but worst

Thx for reading

Self diagnosed systems, this is for you

Remember that you can always be wrong about being a system, damn even profesional diagnosis can get wrong sometimes, and that's ok!

Just because you're self diagnosed doesn't mean you're not valid, but remember not to stick only to this possibility, is ok to be wrong about being a system and that doesn't make you a bad person at all

But please, be aware you can be wrong, and if you do, don't be harsh on yourself neither assure you're a system even if you know you're not now

Mistakes can happen, acknowledge them, move on and don't be bad with yourself, I assure you no one will hate you if they're really a good person, cause life is about mistakes and learning

My personal hot take

The CDD community is so focused in the alters part of the dissorder that it became bullshit and some kind of annoying, the community ignoring all the things outside alters and trauma is the reason why CDD community can't be taken seriously by CDD systems that don't care about glorifying and making pretty the disorder

Or for example in our case we focuse more in the dissociative part cause that's something daily for us, we tend to forget about alters because of dissociationg of the disorder

The CDD community has minimized the disorder into alter disorder and that gets into my guts in a bad way, we need to talk more about other things of CDD, bad, neutral or good

My personal hot take

The CDD community is so focused in the alters part of the dissorder that it became bullshit and some kind of annoying, the community ignoring all the things outside alters and trauma is the reason why CDD community can't be taken seriously by CDD systems that don't care about glorifying and making pretty the disorder

Little answer to this questions!!

First question "What things do you think the CDD community should change because it can be harmful?"

I'll say almost everything, yeah, that fucked up is the CDD community, the fights, drama, immature people, there's a lot of shit going on. And when we get to the CDD part of the CDD community like 95% of the time is just alter talking and ignoring all the other things and symptoms surrounding the disorders

Like half of the bad things and shitty things that happens to the CDD community that isn't directly a thing made by and for them in terms of harm it's, almost all the time, something they search for or an indirect result of their actions

Pretty shitty and fucked up in my opinion

First question part 2 "Do you think there's something that is important but ignored by it (The CDD community)?"

Yeah, pretty much all the things that doesn't involve alters and mentioning CDD is because of trauma

CDD community, just to let you known not everything around CDD is alters

[Special cut out, depends on the mood and later reaction to this post, maybe this first to questions are gonna be removed and put out in another sideblog, just to clarify]

Third question "Why are you all gays? /pf"

Cause being a basic straight cis is boring /pf

Fourth question "What's your opinion about the short time you have been blogging here?"

Pretty mixed tbh, the fist encounters and the mini drama that happened with endos was very annoying, but we didn't mind it that much outside the laughs

Also I'm surprised how I get noticed so fast in a short period of time, yeah ik I don't have a big name or I'm recognized but it's a pretty big jump go from nothing to almost 40 followers just in one of our blogs (This one)

Thx bro for asking us things when we asked lol /p

Online CDD system challenge, make a post or talk about something about CDD that doesn't involve:

Alter or alter mentioning

Trauma as the way of developing the dissorder

Basic dissociation rambling that even singlets know

Idk man, I'm bored and this community doesn't seem to understand and talk about what CDD is

✎...Side blogs list (Not personal)↫

This posts is to enlist all our side blogs that aren't personal and are system related so if you wanna go and check them out, or if you know one of this and want to interact more with the system behind them!

[For the alter and some alter sideblogs list look here]

We also gonna add some kind of description to the side blogs so you understand better about them

This might be constantly updated because we love making side blogs, so keep this in mind to check it sometimes to see if there's an update

@syspport

Syspport is a blog oriented to help & support CDD systems with all kinds of problems, we also do requests of multiple kind of things and sometimes we do positivity and validation posts

Information, ask and visibilization of things are one of our goals, we want people to understand and know a little bit more about CDD and how they can understand this disorders in a way it can be helpful

Is a safe space to learn, ask, and request, an all in one place!!

@nonaltercdd

Non alter CDD is a blog oriented to all the aspects outside the alters in the CDDs, to bring awareness and visibilize the other aspects in hopes the CDD community stop treating this disorders like "the alters disorder" and more like a complex and difficult disorder

This is a completely safe space and open to interaction, questions, ask, positivity, visibilization, vents and all those things are allowed, the only rule is that it's about CDD and isn't about the alter part, or if you're gonna bring them out the alters aren't the main topic

@cringesys

The cringe systems place is a blog for all the systems who are cringe or considered cringe for one or another reason to have a safe place to be themselves without being judge

This blog mainly functions with "Cringe system culture is" kind of posts, but isn't exclusively to that

@sillysystems

The silly systems is a blog for all the systems to be as silly they want, to share about something they find silly about themselves or similar things, just to be silly, random and all that kind of stuff, it's a safe space where no one's gonna judge you because for being a silly system/alter

@queersys

Queer systems place is a blog for all the systems who are queer (this can be because of one or multiple alters, or being collectively queer) to have a safe space to talk about it and express themselves without the fear of being judged or something similar

We accept all kind of requests, but mostly there are "Queer system culture is" and similar ones to that

@systorytimes

System storytimes is a blog to share storytimes of your system, this can be any kind of storytimes that are aligned to your CDD, can be good, bad or neutral, we don't judge

The point is sharing your experiences and storytimes you want and giving a place for all the systems who want to

@antipsychiatrist

Fuck psychiatrists is a blog that talks critically about the psychiatric field and how there's a lot of abuse, neglect and ableism in the mental health area, specially surrounding psychiatric

Here you can be real and serious about how fucked up the mental health area is regarding the CDD, because this blog is about CDD and for pwCDD, so all this is centric about that, but of course if someone wants to make a submission/ask about this that mix CDD and other disorder or something similar is completely allowed

An interactive blog for all the pwCDD to give their opinions and share their experiences, start talks and ask questions, a critical serious space that sometimes has little hater vibes

@otherkinsys

Otherkin Systems Realm is a blog for all the systems who are also in the otherkin/therian community, this can be collectively or because one or a group of alters, to have a safe place to be themselves, share about their experiences and feel understood without being judge

@cddcommunity

The CDD community is a blog to talk about the CDD community, not only here on tumblr, but in all the internet in general

You can share experiences, vent, send ask and all that kind of things, all about the CDD community. You can be critical about how the current CDD community is, the topics, dramas and all the things going on around here in the community, is to talk about the good, the neutral and the bad things regarding the CDD community, no one's gonna judge you for what you say here, it's a safe space to share about how the CDD community is and works on internet

This isn't a syscourse blog, but syscourse mention is allowed do the nature of the blog and the CDD community

@octendo

Night Ravens is our syscourse blog, not only about endo syscourse but general syscourse, although the blog is kinda lonely because we have to be in the syscourse mood and there are always a lot of text posts or simply short generalized posts to be open to discussion

There's not much to say about this blog, but please let's keep separate this blog form our personal blog (this one)

This is all, if you like this blogs and want more interaction with us go ahead, we love interacting!!

Also if you want a side blog of a specific topic regarding systems go ahead and tell us, we'll gladly do it, more side blogs probably are being think off to make ✨

We use both of the terms

But being more theoretically, introjects in CDD context are alters who formed based on something that already existed, and because the oc already existed when the alter formed... Well yeah, it's an introject

This can also applied to any other creation the system mades and then gets in the system as an alter, they're introjections

If I'm not wrong autoject is a term for all the introjects whose source is something created by someone else of the system, some autojects don't consider completely like introjects because the brain made them but not from scratch, so you can just use that if you want

Labels are that, labels, made for your own comfort, so if they don't like introject/autoject/brainmade let them use whatever they want, but theoretically speaking they're introjects, or if they wanna be a little bit more introject separated but still explain they have an "external" source they can use autoject

another serious question for the osddid community

when you make an oc and then get an alter of said oc is that technically an introject? like one of ours just considers herself brainmade since she barely associates with her source anyway (literally an oc we had at like 12) but then another considers themself an introject so it’s??

like are they technically brainmade since yeah it’s an existing character but it’s YOUR OWN existing character or like? 😭

ik labels don’t matter that much but i’ve been curious for a while now

Planning about making a project related to systems and help systems, but I'm not sure if the word I came up for the idea it's good or not... So help me decide!

is it okay to treat alters like their source if they ask/want to be treated that way?

Why wouldn't be ok? If they ask to and want that go ahead and do it

The phrase "Don't treat alters like their source" it's because a lot of alters don't ID with source, have problems with it and prefer to not be treated as it, or in some cases people minimize the alter just to their source when we have to remember that their more than their source

Source separation is good for some alters, for some others is not and it can be harmful in some cases, like a lot of things is "it depends"

I could talk about all the implications and all that info but I don't want to fill my main blog with this topic, I mostly use our @syspport for that (so if you want a more in depth response and want to make more specific questions related to that topic you can go there and do it), and maybe I'll use the @cddcommunity blog to talk about how the community treats the introjects and sources things

Thanks for the ask! I don't normally get asks here so seeing an ask mayme so happy /pos

New terms

Have you ever had this feeling of being dysphoric because you're an alter? Or because you have a CDD? A similar feeling to that? Do you use terms like alter/front dysphoria because you don't have a better way of calling it?

Well we made terms that are similar to dysphoria and dysmorphia to describe the unique and exclusive experiences some CDDs can have regarding this topics/feelings!

Is a big list of terms, all of them in some kind of way describes this feeling but have their unique difference, but you can use any of this for a general experience even if it's outside some of this specifications stated in the meaning

THIS TERMS ARE EXCLUSIVE TO CDD, NO ENDOS CAN USE IT PLEASE, THIS IS TO DESCRIBE EXPERIENCES OF A DISORDER

Behold the long post explaining each of the terms

Dysoma

General meaning: Describe the feeling of the body being bad (in meaning isn't how you want it to be) or hard to have (in the meaning of being hard to be in that body because isn't yours)

In depth meaning: This terms is to describe the feeling of the body being wrong, the body not being "good enough" just because isn't yours, it is hard to see and live with the body because it feels off, it doesn't feel yours, it's bad to your eyes and can give you discomfort because is not your body, the general negative and maladaptive feeling surrounding your body and not being able to feel it yours because is different from your body

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word soma (body)

Dysdokein

General meaning: Describes the feeling of having a hard/bad time because of pretending to be and appearing as someone you're not, this can be in many things not only with the body appearance

In depth meaning: This term is to describe that feeling of uncomfort of having to pretend you're someone else because you're in someone else body and life, people will see you as the person you're not but you have to pretend to be and it's something distressing, this feelings isn't completely about the body feeling off because isn't yours but rather you feeling off, bad and hard to keep up an external life and body so you feel a stranger because of it

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word dokein (to seem, to appear, to think, to imagine)

Dysproso

General meaning: Describes the feeling of having a bad or hard time to keep up the "acting" of being someone you're not like using a mask or custom of someone else

In depth meaning: This term is to describe the distress caused by having to act and present as someone you're not and having to use their face and life as your new face, this "mask", body and life that you have to deal with gives you the off feeling, the sense of you're not yourself and an uncomfortable time, people referring you and seeing you as that other someone makes you feel disconnected from yourself and like you don't have control in your own life

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word prosōpon (face, mask)

Dysalotriu

General meaning: Describes the feeling of having a hard and bad time because you suffer the life or someone else and not yours because this isn't your life nor body

In depth meaning: This term is to describe the state of grief and concern regarding having the life of someone else, you have to deal with the problems and life of someone else an that gives you a hard time feeling yourself with the life and body of someone else, seeing that you're another and not you gives you a shock that can affect you negatively, it is based more in the sense of external life and the distress it gives you rather than the actual masking, body or similar feelings of not being you

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word allotríou (of another, foreign) [Yes I changed the word to be more short and pleasant to the term]

Dysantanhetro

General meaning: Describes the feeling of not being able to see your own reflection in the mirror but of someone else, this can also means that you can't see yourself within the body

In depth meaning: This term is to describe the distress caused by the body not being as you want, this is triggered when you see that is way different from yours or when you look at your reflection/shadow you see someone else and not you, this can also be accompanied by a defensive way of trying to modify the body to resemble more of your look and not being able to handle properly and in a adaptive way the different body and appearance

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek words antanáklasis (reflection) and héterou (of another, other) [Yes I changed and mixed the word to be more short and pleasant to the term]

Dysantilep

General meaning: Describes the feeling of a state of depersonalization that cause a hard or bad time related on the way of perceiving because of the body

In depth meaning: This term is to describe a specific kind of depersonalization related to the grief, problem and disconnection to the body, life and the way others see you because of all those things aren't about you but someone else. Being aware or entering in a state of consciousness about the body and life not being yourself but someone else makes you enter in this kind of depersonalization and it's hard to keep up because of it, you can feel other things alongside this depersonalization state or you might not feel anything outside disconnection and uncomfort because of it

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word antilēpsis (perception, grasp)

Dysapopro

General meaning: Describes the feeling of having a hard and bad time of keeping up the body persona because you feel too disconnected and separate from it

In depth meaning: This term is to describe the problems, distress and discomfort being a "persona" of someone else brings you, is a creeping feeling of discomfort, fear and detachment of not being yourself and never being able to be you, the fear and anguish of trying to be you, make the body look like you but not being really able to be you because of this persona it exists around the body

Etymology: It comes from the mix of the greek prefix dys- (bad, hard) and the greek word apo (away, off) and próposo (face, persona) [Yes I changed and mixed the word to be more short and pleasant to the term]

This are all the terms I made to describe my experiences, I never shared them because of the kinda weird names, but if you like them, feel connected and described you can totally use them! I'll feel kinda honored if people started using this terms to describe such a common feeling and experience that didn't have a name up this day

Any questions or comments regarding this terms I'm open to hear them all!

(Sorry for the tag, if you want me to remove it I will do it but tell me, I tagged you because you're the main reason I did this long post @system-cypress)

⋆ System ask game: Polyfrag edition ⋆

Remember you don't have to answer all nor give extra information, simple yes or no is enough, this is just for fun and for anyone who wants to do it

Endos this isn't for you, exclusive with those who a CDD and are polyfragmented

🍄- Do you feel comfortable with the term polyfrag?

🌹- How long have you been knowing you're polyfrag?

🥀- Did you pass for the "I think I'm OSDD/P-DID" phase a lot of polyfrag systems seem to have?

🍁- Do you use other system terms besides polyfrag or just that? (Ex. C-DID, RAMCOA system, etc.)

🍂- Do you have really problematic alters that aren't allowed to front because of it?

🌰- Do you have multiple hosts, one host or none host?

🍠- Is the front always/a lot of the time crowded?

🥕- Have you ever coin terms just for your system? Or you just use community ones?

🥜- If you have one, do you have a complex inner world?

🧅- Do you have multiple layers?

🥔- Do you have in-sys relationships? Like family, partners, etc. If do, you want to talk about some of those relationships? (The last part is optional)

🌻- Do you have an internal life? In the sense of alters being able to simulate life within the inner world

🎑- Do you have multiple alters with the same name?

🌾- Are amnesiac barriers a big problem with you? For communication, healing, normal day, etc.

🌱- Are you something heavy? (Ex. introject, trauma holder, non-human, etc.)

🌵- Do you have low or high split tolerance? Do you split more than two at the same time?

🌴- Does being polyfrag have ever made you feel invalid?

🍃- You have subsystems and/or subsystems?

🌿- If you have subsystems, do you have container subsystems?

🎍- Do you have other names for formation/fragmentation besides alter and fragment? (Having more categories for that)

🌳- Do you have a hierarchy or government internally? You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel comfortable

🌲- Do you experience more blackout or grayout amnesia?

🎋- Free question! Tell us something about you, your system and/or your experience as a polyfrag system, there's no rule here, just keep safe important info, share what you like!

DID can cause delusions, and mild paranoia in about 40-50% of people who have it.

DID does not cause hallucinations.

However, Alters are not delusions or hallucinations.

The Simply Plural 1.11 Beta

Hello, in this post I'm gonna talk about the new beta from simply plural that was released on August 14, 2024

Subtopics:

What are the new futures?

How each feature works

Friends glitch/bug

Custom fields glitch/bug

Buckets glitch/bug

Other noticeable bugs

Extra things

Final thoughts

Now that we know what it's going to be in this post let's dive into it!

What are the new features?

This beta provides some new features, most of them suggestions that were previously asked a lot of times that finally got implemented

Privacy buckets which works as a new privacy system for the app

Ability to change the default setting of privacy

Group moving finally implemented

Easier access to read groups descriptions

Ability to cancel editing

Resizing images with markdown

How each feature works

Privacy buckets:

The privacy buckets is a new function that was suggested for a long time, with this new privacy system you can create groups that you can customize to have a more specific privacy experience

The customization things that you can add are having an emoji that identifies the bucket, being able to put a name, description and a color on the bucket, specify which ones of your friends can see the alters/groups/fields under that bucket

Bucket example

This buckets applies to groups, profiles and fields as you see here

Your friends won't be able to see the emoji while looking at your profile, this means they don't know in what bucket they are

You can add multiple buckets to the same friend, this is to make a better and more specific privacy customization

All the groups, members and fields that aren't given a bucket would be automatically set to private

For getting access to the buckets settings you have to enter your app settings, go to account, go to privacy buckets and there you go

For more information about how buckets works please check this oficial guide

Change the default privacy setting:

The default privacy settings let you choose what would be the new default setting around privacy buckets when making new things

This setting is applicable to all the things you can change the privacy of, this means:

Profiles/members

Custom fronts

Groups

Custom fields

So depending on what bucket(s) you choose all the new things you create would have that bucket from now on

Important to note that putting a default bucket won't change any of your already existing information, this would only apply for new created things after the bucket was assigned, you still have to manually change the buckets from old things

For getting access to the buckets settings you have to enter your app settings, go to account, go to privacy buckets and click the gear icon next to the question mark one, there you go

Group moving:

As the name implies the group moving feature allows you to move one folder to another one, you don't have to re-do the whole group from scratch anymore

The whole page for editing groups has changed so you'll might get a bit confused. The whole moving folders part can be found now when you edit a group

Visual example of what I mean

So you might ask how does the move group work, this is a little example and tutorial on how this function works

We have this test group called "A", as you see A is in the main root, it's not a subfolder of any kind, we're gonna move it to be a subfolder

When you click in the already shown "Move group" option it would pop out a new menu (This loading can be a little delayed, at least from my experience, so be patient)

The group who's darker is the one you'll move, you just need to click on the folder you want to put the group on and it would show you this pop out to make sure you're ok with moving it into the folder you chose

And there you go, you moved the group

Groups descriptions:

The groups descriptions were updated to a more easy and friendly way to see them, not only for you but for your friends too

Now all the groups that have a description will have a question mark symbol attached to them, clicking it would show you the description

Visual example of the described:

There's no more mystery outside this, this works with your friends groups and your own in both sides

Cancel editing:

Have you ever had the problem that while editing a profile or a custom front you don't want to save the changes so you have to close the app and re open to make sure that doesn't get safe? Well that's why the new beta fixed that issue

Now when you're editing things like profiles, you can decide if you want to cancel or save your changes, it's pretty simple to see it, there's and x and a 💾 icon, the x it's for not saving the changes and the 💾 for saving them

Visual example

This visual not only applies to profiles but also anything that can be changed and/or edited, I just put this for the sake of keeping it simple and not full of pictures of the same thing in different perspectives

Resizing images with markdown:

Using links for images is something that is used since a lot of time, it's normal to see people trying to resize their images directly from the markdown feature but failed, but now you can actually do this

In this image I'm using the same link, just that one is using the resizing markdown and the other isn't, this is to show that the resizing isn't super perfect and it's more based around fitting the picture in the indicated size, it would not stretch out or modify its property, it would just re adjust the size of it

As you might seen the only change you do it's adding the #300x300 after the link, putting the # along with the size that you want will resize your picture, this can work with any kind of numbers you put (#numxnum), but in some cases might look wonky or the picture might not appear/be cut so be sure to know the size and things you want with that to not mess up

Friends glitch/bug

It has been reported that the friends part might be very glitchy and have some errors, bugs and problems when entering in the moment you're using the beta

Some of the bugs reported are:

Not being able to see the preview of fronters in the main friends page

Not being able to see the custom fields of some friends

Some profiles not being able to bee seen although the friend has the bucket to see it

Menu doesn't work, it shows a gray box

More buckets assigned to a friend than the ones you actually have

Errors while seeing each others profiles when one's on beta and the other isn't

The friend menu it's a bit wonky and buggy with this beta, so don't be shock if you have some issues while seeing it, it's not broken, the beta is still a beta after all, it's to see the errors to fix them for the official release

Custom fields glitch/bug

The custom fields is one of the part who shows more errors while using it, some common reported bugs are

Friends and/or you can't see your fields information

The changes aren't saved

While offline they might disappear

Errors with the image links (They don't act like images rather than normal links)

Not being able to move them

When tagging (@) alters from another systems appears instead of yours

The custom fields are very delicate in this area, specially because the migration between 1.10 and 1.11, because of this I'm gonna copy paste words of the developers about it

API was further updated to fix the issues of large systems having trouble sharing content with friends and not being able to see custom fields of friends across release and beta versions. Note: The fix for cross-version only works for release if you never opened beta before. If you left or will leave beta you will still have issues seeing custom fields of beta friends. Second note: I just noticed that beta seeing release custom fields is still not fully working. So we'll report back when that is fixed.

Additionally, custom fields from 1.11 are not compatible with 1.10.3 either, if you downgrade back to 1.10.3 you will not be able to save changes to custom fields (neither custom fields settings or member custom fields data).

It's not mandatory but I'll recommend not touching your custom fields if you have the beta because it can have some issues about losing information, but this is a recommendation, this lost bug doesn't happen to everyone so do it at your own risk

Buckets glitch/bug

Because of the new future it was expected that it would have bugs and errors while testing it

The feature isn't 100% polish and it's being fixed, but this isn't stopping you from using it because it is workable

Some common bugs are:

Selecting a friend while creating a bucket doesn't work, you have to make the bucket and then edit it again to add the friend

Scrolling being difficult to almost impossible while editing buckets to assign friends

Don't adding the selected people (can also add people who's not selected)

Bucket count showing incorrectly as a visual error (previously mentioned in friends bugs)

Multiple visual errores in different areas

Also adding a note said by the developers to keep in mind

Important note: If you open the app in beta version you will no longer be able to go back to the old privacy system, even if you downgrade your app back to 1.10.3. We suggest you stay on 1.11 once you used the app in 1.11. Critical bugs found within the Beta will be resolved swiftly.

Other noticeable bugs

As is expected this bet has a lot of bugs going on, I'm not going to name all the bugs because this would be more long than it has to be, but I will list some common bugs that don't fall into any of the other two previous categories I mentioned

While offline all things appear as private even with different bucket

Editing colors isn't saving (profiles, groups, custom fronts, buckets)

While making a description you can't use the enter button

The lines to easy select text isn't showing up

Somo areas flicker when selecting/touching them

Getting front notifications of people you didn't select to have them

Bugs with pop outs about deleting members/groups

All of this errors and some more are being fixed for the proper release

Extra things

While it might be kinda obvious if you see the pictures I presented, the layout of the app it's kinda different, it didn't have an incredible mega change but various things about how it works were changed to fit better the new functions that were added

This betta has more bugs than previous betas but this isn't because it was bad designed, it functions pretty well and the bugs are being fixed, after all a beta it's for test out, report bugs, glitches and errors to make sure the final and official release it's the best product we can have, so maybe wait for the official release if you don't want that many bugs

Also as it was mentioned, if you already get the beta don't quit it, it can broke your simply plural and won't reverse the changes made in beta, you'll have to stick with the beta till the update it's public if you don't want to have more bugs and broke your app

For the people who might not know this, the beta testing isn't available on the web version, only the app

Little explanation on how to get the beta if you want:

Android: Go the the Play Store, search for Simply Plural and scroll down to join the beta Apple: https://testflight.apple.com/join/DzPX698w

If you need more help with the download of the beta on android you can send me questions and I'll answer them

Final thoughts

Though it's not the best of the betas in terms of not being glitchy it's incredible how great this beta update was, and taking in mind that this errors will be fixed looks to have a very good and promising final result

I might say it's better not to get the beta if you really lay to much in SP and can't handle that many bugs and errors, but if you're willing to give it a try it can be a goofy and great experience at the same time

This update is more based on fulfilling already wished suggestions so it's pretty exciting to see it

For being a beta I give it a solid 7.5/10, maybe too buggy but a great preview of what it comes for the new update

If you have more questions about the beta, non beta or anything related to simply plural please send asks about it, I love to talk about SP so feel free to ask about it ^^

The bugs/glitches reports, the link fo the buckets and the basic information about the beta were taken from the official simply plural server, I really recommend checking it out if you want to ask questions about it, see inspiration, see third party tools or report bugs, also there you can see server status, announcements and updates. It's important to clarify that it's not a social server so have that in mind

Simply Plural Discord Server Link

If you read all this I have to really thank you very much for giving me that much of a time to talk about this, simply plural is one of my special interests and hyperfixation and I'm so glad I get to talk about it, I didn't expect that much people being interested on seeing me talk about this new update, sorry if it took me some time but I was kinda in a bad moment of my life, but writing this really cheered me up and I hope people can find this useful

Please reblog and like if you find it useful in some way and to make sure more people get to know this information about the new update cause it has a lot of important things! /nf

Systober

Have you ever heard about the famous inktober thing that happens all years? Well I like the idea but not the list, so while I was thinking I decided I'll do my own inktober with a special theme, system!

This is done just for fun, a creative and random activity for all the systems out there that want to join, if you think this is dumb, cringe or something like that well just scroll and don't do it lmao

Although inktober is for artists you don't have to draw to participate, if you want to make collages or write about it go ahead and do it, tho it's true that the challenge is more aligned to drawing

You don't know what systober is? Well it's a challenge consisting on drawing each day of october one thing that will depend of the challenge you choose to do, in this case, would be about your system

Here's the list

If you have a question about what means something you can ask us and we'll happily answer your questions

If you're gonna participate in this it would be highly appreciated if you use one of this two hashtags for your posts #systober #systober 2024

Important note, this challenge is not for endos, endos DNI with us, this post or the systober

That's all I have to say, I hope to see at least one system besides me participating in this activity, see ya and thanks, have a fantastic day/night!

Hey yall, Jack Kelly fictive here, just wanted to let yall know my boyfriend, a spot conlon fictive, FUCKING MISREAD WILLIAM RANDOLF HEARST AS FUCKING WHITECLAW?????? LITERALLY BROOKLYNS LEADER AND CANT EVEN FUCKING READ /T /LH