Did Alter - Tumblr Posts
yall aren't gonna BELIEVE this-
Awhile back one of our hosts took to Instagram to find community in other systems, and had recently chosen a new name based after a show they liked. We then got bombarded by paragraphs from another system about how we'd copied him (bc they had the same name), and offhandedly tried to make it out like our host was an alter BASED OFF HIM. Like buddy I don't even know you, what???
Only to find now, that person is now using the same name we went by back then, the original now paired with the SAME second name our host used during that confrontation.
Something ain't adding up here-
currently processing a new split,,,fun stuff, welcome new persecutor ig? :')
We had a fusion recently, one of our persecutors with our spiritual protector, and the experience is still very fresh and new to us, but overall we see it as a *huge* and crucial step in our healing.
Our spiritual part was very soft spoken and whimsical in nature, while the persecutor was blunt, harsh and crude. As for them now, they are still figuring themself out, but the traits from previous stuck around in very interesting ways, and I'm looking forward to what this new part will bring to our system. In a way it seems the persecutors harsher qualities are better managed now, as we can now accept anger and negative emotions are a welcomed part of the human experience. I'm not sure how they feel about their past actions as a persecutor, but I will try to reach out and see if they are willing to explain in more detail!
If some persecutors could weigh in with your experiences, we’d love to hear from you! We have a persecutor turned protector but it would be great to get more perspectives. You will be listened to and we do not consider you to be evil or hopeless. If you are comfortable, we would love to hear your reasoning behind actions or whatever you’d like to share with us. Asks are open for you if you want to stay anonymous or reblogs are always an option! Thank you for your input
Hi, everyone, I'm Erwin (he/him). I'm a DID alter who was dormant for maybe 8 years? So this is my own little blog, where I can talk about the struggles of being an alter gaining consciousness after being inactive for almost a decade and how weird age and time is for me
Life was very different for us when I split off and when I went dormant, so I feel like a fish out of water right now. It is as if I am much different from the rest of the system, who seem to have so much in common, so now I'm trying to figure out where I fit into this group of people
I have a hard time putting my feelings into words right now, but I hope to explain how it feels to be me as I learn and grow, so that's partly what this blog is for
I feel like I need to introduce myself better, but that might be another post. This one is already a mess 😅
Age is very weird when you got a complex dissociative disorder
I am physically 28, but internally, I see myself as a man in my late 30s, but also I formed as an alter when we were 18 or so and then I went dormant for most of our 20s, so even though I identify as older than the rest, I almost feel like I'm the youngest. I feel awkward and insecure like I was when I stumbled through the last part of high school as a misdiagnosed neurodivergent person who was bullied and mocked for "being weird". I feel like a teenage girl even if I internally see myself as a man nearing 40. I was formed by the brain of a high schooler and since I went dormant for almost a decade, I kinda didn't mature in many ways. It's especially weird being an introject and feeling this special type of shame around not being as capable as your source. I am not some strong man, who can handle intense stress. I'm essentially a traumatised child playing pretend. I'm holding on to so much shame and guilt for being such a poor excuse of an adult person. I feel so anxious and wrong for just existing - just like I, or we, did back when I split off
I'm still trying to get used to our current life as a 28 year old living alone away from our abusers, and hopefully I will feel more mature as I process my trauma and forgive my past self. But as of now, I am basically a 38 year old man in a 28 year old body with the mind of an 18 year old neurodivergent girl from 2014
MADE BY ME!!! SLINGSHOT!!!
do you guys also like techno kitten adventure
some thangs
One of my favorite things to see within the plural community is when some system use a different term for alters/headmantes, systems can get so creative when maken up things
We have seen parts, homies, familie, roommates, guys, and some random things that are so funny and interesting to see, and I think that's a great thing
Even though it's normal for systems use one of the two more common terms you don't have to stick with a term you and your systems don't feel comfortable, there's not a bad nor incorrect term when calling your system parts cause that's a you thing, and I think is awesome when a system is ok to using alternatives for themselves cause that can be helpful to recovering, even though it sounds stupid or nonsense
If you want to share with us how you call your alters besides that you can do it!! We'll gladly read with joy
And for the record, even though we call them alters online, with ourselves and a close group of friends and people we call them persmos, yeah, like our name hahahaha #PersmosRule
I'm gonna take me and my verse as an example, I'm a brainmade formed long time ago, at some point a "new me" was formed thanks to a problem, altough this "new me" share name with me and some likes and things like that he was his own brainmade alter that just had similarity in name and personality wise
This is also an interesting topic that I'm willing to explain more regarding labels, we personally don't like autojects as a label (introject of someone who already is in the sys) and so we call them brainmades
Hope this explains a little bit the question
I'm curious, do you have a "verse" in your system?
Explanation: A verse is when you have multiple alters from the same source and/or are classified as similar or the same; it's not always about introjects cause we have brainmades who are a verse
We have like 10 verses lol
Brain doesn't have budget to make original ideas /j
I found so funny everytime a non human of our sys says "I'm otherkin" and we're like "bro you're already non human 😭"
Like mostly they talk about fronting experiences with their otherkins, and the most interesting things is that they're kins aren't based on their inner appearances lol
Being a polyfrag DID system is like
"Yeah ik I'm this alter... Am I alone fronting? Who knows, maybe, maybe not, am I being influenced by other alters in front? Maybe, maybe not"
And then you forgot you say you were X alter and you continue your life as normal till someone or something reminds you you're that alter and you remember you're a system
And then doing some normal shit you became aware you're not fronting alone and you hear the other alters at front talking or they talk to you/externals so you're now like "Oh yeah... I'm not fronting alone"
Sometimes forgetting about the existing of fronting, alters and all this shit is hilarious and random, it's like the thing that most of the community talks about when talking about symptoms and it's the thing that we forget most of the time about DID lmao
Being an introject with a problematic source that isn't well known is so strange
What you mean I can't talk about it and can't even say my name in a good way because I'm being offensive when you don't even know my source but because one thing that it has I'm bad?
Introjects are the most stigmatized alters in CDD
—🏳🟥
The strange thing is that for the first time we returned to a previous host to be our actual host
World's ending now /j
My favorite part about being a factive of someone who did shit to the system is when I talk shit about them and then someone ask my name, and when I told them the name I'm my source they normally end up "Oh-." cause for a bit of moment it's like someone talking shit about themselves