7. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Pillow Book (1996)

7. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Pillow Book (1996)

Genre: Erotic/Romance

Rating: Un-Rated

Director: Peter Greenaway

Starring: Vivian Wu, Yoshi Oida, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: "The Pillow Book" is an erotic film about a woman, Nagiko, who has a fetish for men writing on her body. What started as an innocent tradition of her father writing on her for her birthday, evolved into an obsession with finding the perfect calligrapher / lover. Nagiko also aspires to be a writer like her namesake, Sei Shonagon, the author of The Pillow Book. After she is rejected by a book publisher who sexually assaulted her father she instead decides to walk the path of revenge.

Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Jerome, a bisexual English translator. He is chosen by Nagiko to help with her revenge unbeknownst to him. He is completely nude several times in the film, has a female and male love interest, and sex scenes with both of them. He has an English accent for the movie and has a couple lines in French and Japanese. Another fun fact: you might notice that he's pretty slender in this role and that's because he was in the process of losing weight for his role in "Trainspotting".

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 28/127 minutes making his SP 22%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is this movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes! Did I mention the nudity? Is it worth watching in general? I say yes. I know this movie won't be for everyone. It's a weird story, highly erotic, and has slow pacing. Still, I enjoy it and wouldn't dissuade someone from watching.

Where to Watch: "The Pillow Book" is currently available to rent through YouTube.

Movie Warnings: There are some things that happen in the movie that you might want to be aware of before committing to watching it. Nudity nudity and more nudity! Women and men are naked and yes that includes seeing their genitals. There are a LOT of penises in this movie. There's blackmail via sexual assault as well as a suicide scene, skin cutting, blood, and defiling of a dead body.

Conclusion: The Pillow Book" is a beautiful work of art. Though it is a weird story, it's also interesting and captures your attention. Though it's highly erotic, the eroticism adds value to the story and isn't there just for shock. And while the pacing may be slow, it allows the viewer to absorb information and appreciate the visual storytelling. I encourage you to open your mind and give it a chance. Like Nagiko, you just might learn something new about yourself.

The Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage (EMSP) List

I thought it'd be helpful to make a list for the movies that I've reviewed so far. I will update it as new reviews are posted. Unfortunately, I'm not yet able to add links to direct you to the full review. The letters EMSP stand for " Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage" which is how long he spends on screen in a given movie. It is ordered from his highest screentime percentage to lowest. I hope this helps those looking for a new Ewan movie to watch!

1 Rogue Trader (1999): 69% (65 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

2. Nora (2000): 56% (60 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

3. Trainspotting (1996): 55% (52 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

4. Nightwatch (1997): 51% (52 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

5. A Life Less Ordinary (1997): 51% (53 / 1 hr. 44 min.)

6. Eye of the Beholder (1999): 47% (48 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

7. Down with Love (2003): 46% (47 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

8. Shallow Grave (1994): 44% (41 / 1 hr. 33 min.)

9. The Serpent's Kiss (1997): 42% (44 / 1 hr. 46 min.)

10. Moulin Rouge! (2001): 40% (51 / 2 hrs. 8 min.)

11. Brassed Off (1996): 24% (26 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

12. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002): 23% (33 / 2 hrs. 22 min)

13. Blue Juice (1995): 22% (22 / 1 hr. 39 min)

14. The Pillow Book (1996): 22% (28 / 2 hrs. 7 min.)

15. Nothing but the Truth (1995): 21% (21 / 1 hr. 41 min.)

16. Velvet Goldmine (1998): 17% (20 / 1 hr. 58 min.)

17. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999): 17% (23 / 2 hrs. 16 min.)

18. Little Voice (1998): 14% (14 / 1 hr. 37 min)

19. Doggin' Around (1995): 11% (10 / 1 hr. 29 min.)

20. Emma (1996): 11% (13 / 2 hrs. 1 min.)

21. Being Human (1994): 2% (2 / 2 hrs. 2 min.)

So This is Love

Movie: Beginners (2010)

Characters: Oliver Fields x Fem!Reader

Oneshot / Ficlet

Word Count: 531

Synopsis: Oliver reflects on the moment that he realized he loves you.

//This is my girlfriend. The love of my life. This is her when she’s happy.//

“Oliver, this better not be a prank.” You chuckled hesitantly. You had just got off from work when your boyfriend, Oliver, called you. He said that he had something to show you and it couldn't wait. When you got to his house, you were greeted by him and his dog Arthur waiting at the door for you. He had both hands behind his back and a cheeky grin on his face. Now, you found yourself blindfolded and being led by his hand. Although your boyfriend tended to be quiet and reserved, he still surprised you with bursts of spontaneity.

“Don't worry, I promise this isn't a prank…this time.” He jokingly reassured you. As he led you up the stairs and down the hallway, he smiled from ear to ear at the knowledge of what lay behind his bedroom door. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this giddy. He loved that you brought out this childish joy in him. “Here we are.” He said as he opened the door and gently pulled you inside.

You felt Oliver move behind you and untie your blindfold. When it came off, you blinked a couple times to adjust to the light. You were standing in front of the bed and your eyes were immediately drawn to the tiny ball of fluff on the covers. It was the most adorable calico kitten wearing a tiny red bow.

“Ta-da!” Oliver whispered in your ear as he placed a small peck on your cheek.

Your mind couldn't conjure any words. It was only a week ago that you told Oliver about your childhood cat and how you had to leave her behind when your family moved states. You shared how it broke your heart to give her away and you never forgot her. Now, you walked towards the bed and scooped up the kitty who began nuzzling into your neck.

“Told you it wasn't a prank.” Oliver said while smiling proudly.

Finally, your mouth caught up to your brain but as you turned to your boyfriend all you could utter was, “How?”

“My boss’s cat had a litter and this little one was the only one left without a home.” He explained. “It was such perfect timing that I felt it had to be a sign...do you like her?”

With tears in your eyes you exclaimed, “Oh, Oliver, I love her!” You couldn't believe you’d won the boyfriend lottery. How lucky and loved you felt to have such a thoughtful partner. You turned your attention back to the kitten and gently kissed her little head. The kitty replied with a soft chirp and started trying to climb up your shirt. You cooed at the rambunctious little rascal and closed your eyes in laughter.

Leaning on the doorframe, Oliver soaked in your happiness. Your laughter was the most beautiful sound to his ears. Your smile warmed his heart like the sun. It was at that moment, he knew that he would move heaven and earth if it meant you could stay like this. At that moment, he knew that he loved you.

5. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Blue Juice (1995)

Before we start, I have to give a disclaimer. For some reason, there are two different runtimes for this movie. The first is 90 minutes and the second is 99. I don't know if the second is special edition or has extended scenes, but that's the one I watched so the Screentime Percentage will be based on that runtime.

Fun fact: Keith Allen has a minor role in this movie which is a fun fact because he worked alongside Ewan in Shallow Grave!

Genre: Comedy/Sport

Rating: R

Director: Carl Prechezer

Starring: Sean Pertwee, Catherine Zeta-Jones

Synopsis: "Blue Juice" is about J.C., a surfer and local legend, experiencing anxiety over growing older and settling down. With his 30th birthday on the horizon, his childhood friends make an unexpected visit and plunge his life into chaos. J.C. has to decide what's more important: the call to adventure or the call of love.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Dean Raymond. He's one of J.C's. friends and is a drug dealer. He wants to turn his life around but keeps hurting his friends in the process. He smiles and laughs a LOT and holds hands with another member of the friend group twice. He has long hair that's covered by a hat the majority of the movie. The hat has the brand name Stüssy on it which made me smile because Ewan eventually plays a character with the last name Stussy. We also get to see him with a bloody face due to a fight scene. His performance was fine and I really liked his character's outfits.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 23/99 minutes making his SP 22%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan McGregor alone? Yes. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes. This movie has grown on me a bit. Maybe I relate to the characters' internal struggles of life moving too fast, the fear of stagnating, no longer finding joy in your career, or allowing anxiety to rob you of new experiences now that I'm older.

Where to Watch: "Blue Juice" is currently free to watch with ads on YouTube.

Conclusion: It's cute and has some interesting themes it wants to explore. I just don't think it explores them well. It's a pleasant movie but one that you randomly stumble upon while waiting at the dentist or airport, if that makes any sense.

12. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

This is Ewan's last movie of 1997 and oh boy, is it a good one! And yes, the plot is just as zany as his previous two movies lol. Here are some fun facts before we begin!

Ewan's wife, Eve Mavrakis, is credited as Art Department Associate.

Once again the terrific trio of Danny Boyle, John Hodge, and Andrew Macdonald are reunited with Ewan to create movie magic! Sadly, Ewan and Danny's friendship took a huge blow after this project. The grudge would last for nearly two DECADES before they worked together again.

Stanley Tucci plays a minor role in the movie and will work with Ewan again in the future.

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Rating: R

Director: Danny Boyle

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: Robert Lewis is experiencing the worst day of his life. He gets fired, dumped, and evicted all within twenty-four hours! He decides his only option is to speak to the CEO and demand his job back. Instead, he ends up kidnapping the man's daughter, Celine! In the midst of this chaos, two angels are sent from Heaven to help Robert and Celine fall in love.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Robert Lewis. Robert is a hopeless romantic and aspiring writer. He's a sweet guy who doesn't know how he ended up as a wanted criminal but thinks he's gone too far to turn back. Thankfully for him, there's one person who's willing to help him be a convincing kidnapper and get the ransom money he needs...his kidnappee, Celine! Ewan gives a great performance in this role. His chemistry with Cameron Diaz is even better than his with Nicole Kidman for "Moulin Rouge!" in my opinion. He has two kiss scenes and a shirtless scene. He performs a song and dance number which is really fun. He wears the kilt which to my knowledge is the only time he's done so on screen to date. Robert is more innocent compared to Celine so that brings about some cute moments of confusion. Best of all, he sobs like a baby in one scene and it was *chef's kiss 🤌*. He needs to do more comedy roles because he's genuinely good at it! All the actors had great chemistry and gave stellar performances.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 53/104 minutes making his SP 51%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? Yes! I'm a fan of his raspy screaming voice (and he does a lot of it), he sings, dances, and seeing him cry in fear is always appreciated. Is the movie worth watching in general? Also yes! It's funny and the actors play off each other so well. The story is unique and the soundtrack is great too!

Warning before Watching: There are some bloody scenes in the movie. Nothing super graphic but I still want to issue a warning for those who are uncomfortable by such depictions. Two characters get shot in the head and there's a close up of their wounds. There's a scene of a character intentionally cutting them self and drawing a large amount of blood. Lastly, a character is cut by someone else and there's a close up of the wound.

Where to Watch: "A Life Less Ordinary" is currently available for rent on Fandango at Home. You can also watch on Amazon Prime Video if you have a premium subscription or you can pirate it on soap2day.

Closing Thoughts: It truly sucks that this movie wasn't well-received and was commercially unsuccessful. We need more movies like this that a take chance on a wacky story! I call them "silly goofy movies" and they are sorely lacking in Hollywood today. I implore you to give this movie a watch. It's a great time!

Bought my first Ewan McGregor movie at the thrift store!!!

I randomly decided to look through the DVDs today and I saw this gem! Here's to the beginning of my Ewan McGregor movie collection🍻 @palfriendpatine66