The Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage (EMSP) List

The Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage (EMSP) List

I thought it'd be helpful to make a list for the movies that I've reviewed so far. I will update it as new reviews are posted. Unfortunately, I'm not yet able to add links to direct you to the full review. The letters EMSP stand for " Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage" which is how long he spends on screen in a given movie. It is ordered from his highest screentime percentage to lowest. I hope this helps those looking for a new Ewan movie to watch!

1 Rogue Trader (1999): 69% (65 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

2. Nora (2000): 56% (60 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

3. Trainspotting (1996): 55% (52 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

4. Nightwatch (1997): 51% (52 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

5. A Life Less Ordinary (1997): 51% (53 / 1 hr. 44 min.)

6. Eye of the Beholder (1999): 47% (48 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

7. Down with Love (2003): 46% (47 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

8. Shallow Grave (1994): 44% (41 / 1 hr. 33 min.)

9. The Serpent's Kiss (1997): 42% (44 / 1 hr. 46 min.)

10. Moulin Rouge! (2001): 40% (51 / 2 hrs. 8 min.)

11. Brassed Off (1996): 24% (26 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

12. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002): 23% (33 / 2 hrs. 22 min)

13. Blue Juice (1995): 22% (22 / 1 hr. 39 min)

14. The Pillow Book (1996): 22% (28 / 2 hrs. 7 min.)

15. Nothing but the Truth (1995): 21% (21 / 1 hr. 41 min.)

16. Velvet Goldmine (1998): 17% (20 / 1 hr. 58 min.)

17. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999): 17% (23 / 2 hrs. 16 min.)

18. Little Voice (1998): 14% (14 / 1 hr. 37 min)

19. Doggin' Around (1995): 11% (10 / 1 hr. 29 min.)

20. Emma (1996): 11% (13 / 2 hrs. 1 min.)

21. Being Human (1994): 2% (2 / 2 hrs. 2 min.)

13. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Velvet Goldmine (1998)

Happy Pride Month!❤️🌈❤️We've made it to 1998 and can take a breather because Ewan only made two movies this year. How appropriate that on the first week of Pride Month the first review is the LGBTQ film "Velvet Goldmine"! I swear I didn't plan this. Maxwell Demon must have arranged it in the stars 😏. Also, I came across three different runtimes for this movie. The version I watched had a runtime of 1 hour and 58 minutes so the Screentime Percentage is based off of that.

Fun Fact: Toni Collette co-stars in this movie. She was in "Emma" with Ewan!

Genre: Musical/Drama

Rating: R

Director: Todd Haynes

Starring: Christian Bale, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ewan McGregor, Toni Collette

Synopsis: If you're someone who doesn't like musicals because of the "unrealistic" factor then you'll be happy to know that's not the case here. The movie is a musical because the characters are singers/musicians and they perform throughout the movie. The film is about British glam rocker Brian Slade who fakes his own death and disappears from the public in the 70s. Ten years later, Arthur Stuart, a journalist, is given the task to unearth what really happened to the rockstar and where he is now. His search brings him in contact with former stars who knew Slade and causes him to reflect on his own tumultuous past.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Curt Wild. Curt Wild is a gay American man who's the lead singer and guitarist of his band The Rats. Brian Slade is greatly inspired by Curt and convinces him to collaborate on some projects. Eventually, what starts as a professional relationship blossoms into something more. Ewan speaks with an American English accent for this role which sounds a little funny at times. He has long blond hair for some of the movie which I like. He has two male love interests and a kiss scene. There's also one sex scene and one implied sex scene. He pretty much never wears a shirt and in one scene even strips nude while performing! And yes, that means you get to see his penis. Speaking of performing, he sings thrice and two of those times are full performances. Fun fact: he sang all of his vocals live instead of lip syncing to a pre-recorded track while filming! As far as acting, I think he did well with the limited amount of screentime he had.

Screentime Percentage (numbers are rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 20/118 minutes making his SP 17%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes, even though he doesn't have much screen time, he makes the most of it. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes, it's a great LGBTQ movie! Plus, the soundtrack is infectious.

Where to Watch: "Velvet Goldmine" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. It's also currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the account SELVA BEATS. Just search "Velvet Goldmine 1998 filme raro leg". Heads up: the movie has Portuguese subtitles that can't be turned off. Lastly, you can pirate the movie on soap2day.

Closing Thoughts: This movie makes me go Wild (pun-intended😉) with each watch. The music, costumes, performances, acting, EVERYTHING makes my heart pound. When I watched it for the first time I said the same thing Arthur did in the movie, "That's me! That's me!" It's been 26 years since it was released and in 2024 I was able to say, "That's me." I felt hope. I felt less alone. And I know I'm not the only one who saw themselves and felt the same. "Velvet Goldmine" is a beautiful movie in every way and well worth a watch.

So This is Love

Movie: Beginners (2010)

Characters: Oliver Fields x Fem!Reader

Oneshot / Ficlet

Word Count: 531

Synopsis: Oliver reflects on the moment that he realized he loves you.

//This is my girlfriend. The love of my life. This is her when she’s happy.//

“Oliver, this better not be a prank.” You chuckled hesitantly. You had just got off from work when your boyfriend, Oliver, called you. He said that he had something to show you and it couldn't wait. When you got to his house, you were greeted by him and his dog Arthur waiting at the door for you. He had both hands behind his back and a cheeky grin on his face. Now, you found yourself blindfolded and being led by his hand. Although your boyfriend tended to be quiet and reserved, he still surprised you with bursts of spontaneity.

“Don't worry, I promise this isn't a prank…this time.” He jokingly reassured you. As he led you up the stairs and down the hallway, he smiled from ear to ear at the knowledge of what lay behind his bedroom door. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this giddy. He loved that you brought out this childish joy in him. “Here we are.” He said as he opened the door and gently pulled you inside.

You felt Oliver move behind you and untie your blindfold. When it came off, you blinked a couple times to adjust to the light. You were standing in front of the bed and your eyes were immediately drawn to the tiny ball of fluff on the covers. It was the most adorable calico kitten wearing a tiny red bow.

“Ta-da!” Oliver whispered in your ear as he placed a small peck on your cheek.

Your mind couldn't conjure any words. It was only a week ago that you told Oliver about your childhood cat and how you had to leave her behind when your family moved states. You shared how it broke your heart to give her away and you never forgot her. Now, you walked towards the bed and scooped up the kitty who began nuzzling into your neck.

“Told you it wasn't a prank.” Oliver said while smiling proudly.

Finally, your mouth caught up to your brain but as you turned to your boyfriend all you could utter was, “How?”

“My boss’s cat had a litter and this little one was the only one left without a home.” He explained. “It was such perfect timing that I felt it had to be a sign...do you like her?”

With tears in your eyes you exclaimed, “Oh, Oliver, I love her!” You couldn't believe you’d won the boyfriend lottery. How lucky and loved you felt to have such a thoughtful partner. You turned your attention back to the kitten and gently kissed her little head. The kitty replied with a soft chirp and started trying to climb up your shirt. You cooed at the rambunctious little rascal and closed your eyes in laughter.

Leaning on the doorframe, Oliver soaked in your happiness. Your laughter was the most beautiful sound to his ears. Your smile warmed his heart like the sun. It was at that moment, he knew that he would move heaven and earth if it meant you could stay like this. At that moment, he knew that he loved you.

For the last week, I've been working on an Oliver x reader fanfic and tonight I finished it! I'll be posting it tomorrow. A wonderful coincidence that this came across my dash. 😁

Ewan McGregor & Mélanie Laurent

Beginners (2010)

1. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Being Human (1994)

EDITING NOTE: I didn't realize until a week after I posted this that I grossly miscalculated the Screentime Percentage. I'm sorry for that oversight and the correct SP is now posted in the review.

Our first review is here! 🎉

Being Human is our inaugural Ewan McGregor movie review and stars the late, great, Robin Williams.

Funny enough, if this movie came out ten or even five years later then I would have put it in the "guest appearance" category and not written a review. That's how small Ewan's role was lol. However, I felt that it was only fair to start with this one because....this is Ewan's first ever movie role! That's right, you'd be forgiven for thinking his first movie role was in "Shallow Grave" but his career started far more humbly lol.

Movie Review: Being Human is about a soul, Hector, that we watch be reincarnated into five different lives over the span of centuries. He lives as a caveman, Roman slave, Scotsman, Portuguese man, and finally, a modern family man. Throughout his lives, he experiences hardships and must decide how to handle them, though he doesn't always make the right decision. He also crosses paths with a couple of other people from his past lives. This movie is veryyyy slow. It's two hours of literally watching someone live their life no matter how mundane some moments of life are. However, the movie is also heartfelt and feels strangely nostalgic even though I never watched it growing up. I also really like the concept of the soul reincarnating and getting the chance to redo past mistakes. Watching this movie a second time definitely made me appreciate it more and the beauty that lies in a life simply lived.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays a character named Alvarez who has been shipwrecked with Hector. He has a whopping three, that's right, THREE lines! His character is not integral to the story and if you didn't know he was in the movie then you probably wouldn't even notice him. He looks much older than his actual 22 years as well, especially considering how he looks in his next project "Shallow Grave."

Screentime Percentage (the numbers here have been rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 2/122 minutes making his SP a lowly 2%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is this movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Absolutely not. Is the movie worth watching? Yes, though the slow pacing is not for everybody.

Conclusion: Being Human is a quiet and contemplative film about life, our place in it, and how our love can span lifetimes. If you're a fan of Robin Williams and you have two hours to spare then I would encourage you to give it a watch. I rented the movie through YouTube which was the only place I could find it online.

P.S. if you do decide to watch the movie and just want to see Ewan, his first appearance is at 1:6:30 and last at 1:19:42. You can also watch one of his speaking lines on YouTube posted by the account Ewan McGregor Vault (where the image below is from).

11. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Serpent's Kiss (1997)

Fun Fact! If you're a fan of the "Long Way" motorcycle series with Ewan and his best friend Charlie Boorman, then you'll be pleased to know that their friendship began on this movie! Charlie has a minor role in the film as a secretary. He and Ewan met while filming and bonded over their love of motorcycles. The rest is history!

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: R

Director: Philippe Rousselot

Starring: Pete Postlethwaite, Greta Scacchi, Carmen Chaplin, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: "The Serpent's Kiss" is about the Smithers family. Mr. Smithers wants to give his wife the gift of a garden so he hires a top-notch landscaper that his in-law recommends to him. Mrs. Smithers isn't very interested in the garden but prefers games and tricks. Specifically those she can play on people. Their daughter, Ann/Thea, is a peculiar girl. She reads far too much and gets along better with nature than people. While her mother indulges her, her father worries for her health and hires a physician to "cure" her or her abnormalities. Once the young landscaper arrives, it becomes evident that he is not just there to build a garden, but to use his expertise to exact revenge for his secret employer.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Meneer Chrome who is a famed Dutch landscaper. He takes a job in England with the goal of transforming the overgrown lawn of the Smithers family into a one-of-a-kind, modern, garden. As he works on the project, he becomes interested in his boss's eccentric daughter while her mother becomes interested in him. Ewan speaks in a Dutch and English accent for this role but mainly Dutch. I'm not familiar with Dutch accents but I'm going to be bold and say that his was terrible. It annoyed the crap out of me! I couldn't take it seriously, it was forced, and completely took me out of the movie every time he opened his mouth. I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more if he didn't have to use that god awful accent. He has a female love interest and two kiss scenes. One is with a man and the other is with a woman . He also does some flirting with his boss's wife. There's an implied sex scene and implied nudity. You do get to briefly see him shirtless though. He wears a wig and you also get to see the worst haircut he has ever had in a movie to date. His performance isn't very good. There were a couple moments where it felt like I was listening to him recite lines from a paper. It didn't seem like he was all in for this project but decided to coast through. This might be a nit-pick but it's not a spoiler: not long after we meet his character he randomly tosses his wig off for no discernable reason and he never puts it back on. Nobody says anything about it. All the men of high class wore wigs in the movie so I assumed for a man to walk around wigless in front of high society would be deemed offensive. Anyway, I don't know what the point of that scene was.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 44/106 minutes making his SP 42%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? No. Although he is in much of the movie, he just doesn't do a lot nor is he interesting. Honestly, the character is boring. I wouldn't turn this on for Ewan. Is the movie worth watching in general? Sadly, it's another no from me. In all fairness, it's so weird that it charmed me a little but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I don't know what audience this movie was made for.

Warning before Watching: There is a whole incest subplot in the movie. There aren't any sex scenes or anything but the movie makes sure you know they're related so keep that in mind. In a scene where Thea is overcome with emotion she intentionally cuts her face. The scenes of her being "cured" of her "illness" by the physician could also be uncomfy to watch. There's nothing graphic but you do hear her scream in pain and just the general treatment of this character is sad. Lastly, you see someone die from poison.

Where to Watch: "The Serpent's Kiss" is available to stream for free on Tubi, Sling TV, Redbox, Amazon Prime Video, and Freevee. It's also currently uploaded for free to YouTube. Just search "The Serpent's Kiss Full action Movie Drama Ewan McGregor".