"Allons-y!"

"Allons-y!"

"What?"

"Allons-y, it's French for 'let's go'— Oh nevermind."

Couldn't help myself so I messed with a concept with Ford that I'm surprised I haven't seen yet. I can't tell if I want this to be a separate AU entirely or part of my Ford Family AU so I'll leave that be for now. I also decided to give him a sonic screwdriver instead of his own gadget because the multiverse is a funny thing and well, let's just say it ended up in his hands as a "gift".

Very much inspired by @orxinus' Megalomaniac Ford but I made him a lot more goofy. (I love their AU check them out guys!)

Edit: He now has his own blog! Go bother him on @gftimelord LOLOLOL

Just imagining Ford giving hugs rn, feeling in the dumps because parental figure decided to be a POS. Just imagining him being there, giving reader a hug and telling them that it's going to be okay.

You don't need to smile all the time.

You don't need to act like it's always fine.

You don't need to be strong for once.

It's okay to cry.

It's not reader's fault that their parents think they're a failure when they've already achieved more than most. It's not their fault that their parents are greedy or narcissistic.

Just imagining him holding reader and patting their back as reader silently cries, he doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to say anything else. He's just there, and that's enough.

WIP because I'm apparently high- I have no idea what I'm doing can you tell? XD

Either way just have some young Stan Twins in the meantime while I conk out it's 1 in the morning and I'm doodling nonsense HAHAHAHA

I dare anyone to guess what that stuff actually is and what I put them in cuz I don't think ya'll can :D

Also, do I keep the style I'm currently doodling in? Or do I go back to how I used to do it where they looked more similar to the show's style?

Okay I might not be over the top delulu with this- but I don't really see much modern AUs though but that might be just me LOL

Also, they're supposedly childhood friends in this AU, hence why they'll have similar chemistry to the grand tour trio. Also we get smart Stanley because FUCK IT IT'S FUNNY- brother has so much EQ give him some IQ it's funny.

I love them and frankly the idea of Stan randomly going: "L bozo + ratio get clowned on" while dabbing is so brainrot I cannot stop laughing when I think of it

The biggest reason why Stan and Ford don't bother looking much different on most days is soley to mess with their professors, Ford barely sleeps so there are instances he's late to class or straight up absent. Why his record is impeccable is thanks to Stan filling in for him during attendance and the professor not really giving a shit to double check HAHAHAHA-

Also yes, Fidds is older than them by a year because he is in fact their senior in this AU! They just share some classes because some general subjects are already thrown around and these three are already irregulars thanks to how advanced they are anyway.

Do I keep shitposting about this AU- LMFAO feed me ideas if yall wanna see more from this slice of insanity

A fic that has to do with this post I'd made cuz I'm scraping the walls for more FordxReader content. Anyhow- here's the prologue of my fic, DO NOT TAG THIS AS STANCEST. I REPEAT. DO. NOT. TAG. THIS. AS. STANCEST.

I (Learned To) Love You [Stanford Pines x Reader]

Notes: The Stan twins will act slightly different from canon mostly because I’d rather the narrative run smoother and having Ford be arrogant to the detriment of himself or for Stan to be too nonchalant wouldn’t exactly bode well for the idea I’m trying to run with here so you’ll probably notice that shift where one becomes more mindful and the other becomes more selfless. Just a little, I’m kinda basing this off how I’d normally handle conflicts with my brother too; having a sibling really helps when writing sibling dynamics.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Ford is offered a chance to get into West Coast Tech, Stanley reveals a secret and the Pines Twins have a heart to heart.

As the final chime of the school bell rang for the day, students poured out of the classrooms. The halls and lockers buzzing to life amongst the sea of seniors excited for nothing more than to get out and get home. The building felt like a prison to most of those inside it, a monotonous cycle of suffering and redundancy for a relatively poor attempt at standardisation in the name of education. 

Ford rolled his eyes when he passed by one of his peers complaining about a test on his way to his locker. The test in question wasn’t even difficult, by chance you would score something since it was multiple choice! The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead with a signature annoying hum, on designated study breaks Stanford found the low sound the most irritatingly distracting thing to exist. Alas, it was apparently out of the institution’s budget to even get newer functioning light bulbs; not surprising for a public high school.

Hastily, Stanford navigated through the sea of students that crowded out into the halls, his leather shoes clicking against the yellowing tile with every step; even if it was simply drowned out by the noisy chatter of the other students around him. Who even knew the last time these floors were properly cleaned? He dodged a wet floor sign that had been there since last week, a stain had already formed from the puddle that was in the space. It was just his luck that his locker was far enough away that he didn’t need to be near the mouldy sign or disgusting water.

He seriously couldn’t wait to get out of here.

Assignments were no issue, everything his classmates would have to cram tonight he’d completed weeks before. He fiddled with the aluminium combination lock that kept his belongings secure, it wasn’t the sturdiest thing– but it did the job. The metal casing was cool against his palms, every scratch and dent all so prevalent after years of use. When did he start using it… early elementary? It was a surprise it hadn’t given out on him at this point. Ford deftly unlocked it, the catch springing free as he unhooked and pocketed the little thing in the meantime to access the inside of his locker.

Hell week most students called it, a nightmare of nightmares with projects and tests back to back. Stanford saw no difference in the payload, having managed his time and tasks well enough that this week was like no other school week. Perhaps he was just the odd one again, shoving his books into the old locker became an autopilot routine. Being as studious as he is, Stanford rarely had to bring any homework home as he’d have finished it in school; the only exception to that being projects of any kind.

Speaking of projects, the events of earlier today rang clear in his mind like a record on replay.

“Pines twins to the principal’s office. Pines twins to the principal’s office.”

West Coast Institute of Technology… that’s some offer. He didn’t think his project was that incredible to have gotten noticed, but his father did always say he was special. Even if it did irk him in the moment that all that caught the attention of the old geezer was the mention of a possibility at becoming a millionaire. Alongside the excitement from that news also came the anxiety as well, the school seemed like a dream– cutting edge programs, multidimensional paradigm theory, it was the works and then some! Yet, the royal blue brochure sat sandwiched in the pages of his personal common book like a forbidden weight.

This had to be too good to be true, not to mention… What about his promise to Stanley? What about their plans? Sure, he was greedy enough to want his cake and eat it too– but Ford knew in this situation… there was no twisting it for that middle ground. His hand unconsciously tightened around the shoulder strap of his black satchel. 

What now? Did he really have to pick one over the other?

Ford shook his head and glanced out a nearby window. It was still bright out, maybe he could stop by the beach and clear his head before going home. It should do him some good. Home was a place he’d rather be in less and less should there be any opportunities to get out. Maybe he could invite Stanley if his twin wasn’t drowning in whatever projects or essays like the rest of them. Speaking of, where was the guy?

“Hahaha! Hey Sixer! Whatcha thinkin about?”

“AH-”

Stanley almost ended up with a metal door to the face because of that surprise attack, fortunately he managed to dodge just in time. Ford looked at him with wide eyes, a silent question amidst the shock from his brother sneaking up on him. Not that his twin was even remotely phased, he simply returned the confusion with a nonchalant shrug. 

“Hey, I asked a question first. Besides, what’s got you in knots this time? If ya can’t tell, the day’s over Poindexter.”

Ford rolled his eyes before slamming his locker shut, quickly returning the little aluminium bolt then jumbling up the combination. In retrospect, it did little to safeguard his belongings when it came to those that had similar skills to his brother– but it was a deterrent and still gave him some peace of mind whenever it was sitting there on that rusty metal loop to keep the door shut.

“Nothing too important. Anyway- uh, do you want to head down to the beach before home? We’ve still got time.”

Stanley gave him a million dollar grin in response, it was contagious enough that Stanford soon felt the edges of his lips tilting up instinctively to smile back. He rarely had a smile on his face unlike his socially extroverted twin. There were multiple reasons why most didn’t mistake them for each other despite sharing an identical face. Their starkly different behaviours was one of them.

“Sure! Anything beats being cooped up in the pawnshop with our old man anyway, just lemme get my backpack.”

“Alright, I’ll wait outside for you. It’s far too stuffy in here.”

“Says the one wearing a damn sweater vest!”

Ford rolled his eyes amused when his twin barked out a laugh and disappeared into the sea of their peers, a part of him wondered why their lockers were assigned so far apart but quickly dismissed that train of thought. He didn’t need to think about it, frankly he didn’t need to think about a lot of things, he just did. Irritating yes, but there were situations where the painstaking attention to detail was actually useful. This just wasn’t one of those times.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Stanford bobbed and weaved through the crowd of young adolescents towards the bright red doors of the exit. The stench of sweaty seniors and the acrid sweetness of somebody’s floral cologne assaulted his nose and caused him to cringe. On one hand, it seems like the football team didn’t know what the hell deodorant was; on the other– were they trying to drown themselves in perfume?! There had to be a threshold of which they could tolerate that fragrance, Ford just wondered how insanely high it had to be for it to burn his olfactory nerves that badly.

Or was he simply sensitive to those kinds of fragrances? He had no clue.

At this point, the brunette grew impatient; a frown worming onto his face as he shoved students out of his way to the door and ignored all the odd looks. Not that people hadn’t already graced him with such an expression before; he had his polydactyly to thank for that. 

Ford couldn’t help the relieved slump in his previously rigid posture when he finally managed to step outside the building, there was really nothing that beats leaving that decrepit concrete facility. No more incessantly buzzing lights, no more tacky painted rooms, and definitely no more flooring that threatened to fall at the seams. 

He looked up at the sky, what was once blue was now painted with magnificently vivid reds and yellows; the sun that accompanied it cast an ethereal golden shine on any of the objects it’s rays were able to strike. It felt like he was in a painting, oddly poetic for a town most people would consider a dump. As a faint breeze tousled his hair, Ford was graced by the vague hints from the salty sea. 

He’d miss this.

Stanford suddenly jolted when a hand slapped his back, quickly whipping around in alarm to see the smiling expression of his twin. His heart felt like it was about to explode against his ribcage, there was no way he was even relatively okay today.

“Woah… Poindexter are you good? You’ve been really jumpy since earlier.”

That question was like a loaded gun with the barrel aimed down on him. As casual as Stan’s tone and body language was– his words indicated otherwise. Stanford took a deep breath and scratched the back of his neck, his panic couldn’t have been that obvious could it?

“I’m fine, ready to go?”

“You betcha, c’mon! We’re wasting daylight!”

Stanford welcomed the slight burn in his lungs and itch in his legs as he ran after his twin, laughing alongside the cheerful Stanley as they ran down the pavement towards the beach where they spent so much time growing up together. He was nowhere near as muscular or fit as his brother was, but that thought barely whisked by in his racing mind. 

“Stan– Hey! H-Hold up!”

“Seriously Sixer? Out of breath already??”

“I’m not as brawny as you! Of course I’m winded!”

Stanley returned a lighthearted laugh, but he did slow down his pace so it was easier on his twin. The crunch of the sand under their shoes and the crash of the waves on the shore painted a cradle of familiarity for the Pines. The two continued to make idle chit-chat as they laughed and walked towards a familiar swing set that might as well be embedded far and deep into their memories like a tattoo. 

A melancholic atmosphere quickly settled over the twins at the sight, a silent but mutual understanding occurring between them about the serious conversation that was already overdue. As they dropped their bags on a nearby rock and sat down on the rickety wooden swings, Stanley stared out at the docked boat they worked so hard to repair. It wasn’t even done but the project seemed like it was inevitably going to be abandoned due to circumstance.

Ford could only awkwardly twiddle his thumbs and stare down at his lap. What could he even say? It’s not like there was really a right answer to his predicament either, he’d have to say goodbye to one or the other. There was no easy way out.

“Look– Ford, I… haven’t exactly been entirely honest to ya.”

That piqued the other’s interest, finally looking up at his twin as his fidgeting also abruptly stopped. Stanley rarely called him by his name, often choosing nicknames of all kinds instead. The man sighed and turned away from the boat to finally look at his brother, as much as he would have loved to say that their childhood dream would still stand true if Ford never got that offer– it wasn’t really the case. Circumstances really didn’t line up for them no matter how you looked at it.

“Even if you didn’t get that offer, I doubt I would’ve really been able to stay either. Dad signed me off to some other family on the west side of the country. Kinda same to where that nerd college will take ya. I’m apparently already engaged to some gal I don’t know and haven’t met. Once we graduate, I’m out of here.”

If it weren’t for the soft crashing of the waves against the sand at low-tide, the silence would’ve been deafening. The tension was already so thick you could cut it with a knife, instead Stanley threw a hammer at it and the whole thing shattered like glass. Broken fragments, withering dreams, it was doomed from the beginning.

Ford was barely comforted by the fact that his twin was pushing him to take that chance for admissions at West Coast Tech, the actions of their father weighed more in the moment right now than whatever potential career or future Stanford was promised.

“When… When did this happen?”

“A couple months ago, I got traded in for some fat stacks. At least now I know I’m at least worth that much to Paw.”

Stanford couldn’t ease the heavy feeling that settled in his gut, as his brother’s attempt at a joke fell flat. There was only one choice for him then. He didn’t know what felt worse. Hands clasping together, the brunette leaned forward and resting his elbows on his knees. Damned if they did, damned if they didn’t.

“And… you’re okay with this?”

“Well, it’s better than nothing. ‘Sides,  I heard the family was rich, I wouldn’t have to lift a finger in my life! Just gotta sit there and keep the wife happy.”

It was a bit unsettling how quickly Stanley seemed to accept the situation, the fact he kept it hidden this well for this long was predictable of the man– but to have fully accepted it just like this hasn’t ever hit harder than it did right here, right now.

“Where are you even going to end up?”

“A town called ‘Gravity Falls’? Apparently it’s in Oregon.”

Well, he’d never heard of that place before. Odd. Ford couldn’t even recall it being mentioned in geography class, much less any map he’s ever looked at. Here he thought he already had a fairly good grasp of locations and the like, apparently not. 

“Hey, don’t give me that look. If you’re that worried I’ll go visit you! Won’t take too long either since we’re both already out west!”

“No– Stan, you’re basically being sold off to some random family in the middle of nowhere! For all you know they could be serial killers or mafia!”

Stanley laughed again, it was starting to get on the other’s nerves how blasé the guy was being in regards to all of this. Seriously, didn’t he care at all? This was something big! They couldn’t be the same after this, not when there would be more obligations among other things that demanded their time.

“You’re thinking too far into it Sixer! I’ll be fine! I’ve already made my peace with it, you should take that chance too. It’s a better shot for your career than whatever they’ve got here.”

“But, you still have so much time left–”

“Stanford.”

Stanley just gave his brother a sorrowful smile, his situation he could make do, the last thing he needed was for his paranoid twin to botch his chances during the unveiling of his project when the recruiters for West Coast Tech arrived out of worry for a situation that neither of them had any power to change. This was as far as he could really go, no use feeling bad over it; better make the most of things instead.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it anymore okay?”

Stanford couldn’t tell in the moment who really was the older twin, crossing his arms in a small huff. So… he was decided with his brother’s blessing; despite the fact it didn’t make any of this easier to swallow. The next time Ford looked at Stanley, the guy had his arms open in an offer for a hug. 

That was an offer the brunette didn’t even hesitate to take, holding onto Stan tightly like he would disappear if he let go. Somehow it felt like that regardless, even if they were definitely both still there and still entirely in the situation.

“We can figure something out after you get that admission letter to nerd college.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m your twin, that also makes you an idiot.”

Finally, Stanford allowed himself a soft chuckle; things were still pretty tense– but when wasn’t anything for an overthinker? At this point, he was thankful he still had time with Stanley even if it was limited and winding down. They had until graduation.

“You done with your introspective thing Sixer? We should probably get home before Ma gets ticked off.”

“Oh shut up.”

With Stanley laughing again, it was just like that and they were back to normal. The two picked up their bags and started making their way back home. Thankfully things started to settle into a sense of how they often are, or at least as much as it could get for the Pines Twins when spontaneity was usually an ingredient in their routines.

Fic is also here on Ao3

How common is the idea/HC that Ford literally waits for the ice cream to melt before eating it? Genuinely curious because I see it everywhere.

Because istfg I'll write a whole fic about him and reader essentially just eating melted ice cream while Stanley looks at them and suffers/j