CAN I AT LEAST GRAB MY HEADPHONES, UGH

“CAN I AT LEAST GRAB MY HEADPHONES, UGH”

KIDNAPPED BY DUMPSTER SHOWDOWN CAPTAINS: KUROO & DAICHI

[real authors note: a crackfic from yours truly. I’m so fucking sorry. No one send this to my therapist because she will actually be worried.]

a/n: oh em gee hey hi hello!!! Feeling blessed that i can write for the whore house server collab!!!!!!!!!! I thought i wouldnt post in time because of all of the trauma ive been going thru but we made it! *plays drake music cutely* anywaiiiiz here ya go!!

Warnings! Dont be a pussy, get kidnapped its sexy! Lol hahaha and tw drugs, tw penis (only two for like 5 seconds) so like lime or something less citrus

wc: 2.1k!!!!!

Songs to listen to when reading this: Teen Idle by the QUEEN herself marina and the diamonds, all around me by flyleaf (dw theyre christian), and mgmt kids!!!!

A great poet once said “Got 56 a gram, 5 a hundred grams though, man I swear I love her how she work that damn pole” and that poet, mister fettison wapersons the third said it with his whole left nut. So im out here hustling the pole.

And by pole i mean working at the local 7/11.

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“you’re awke” aran said kneeling down by my side. (yeah no shit but where the fuck is this? it smells like old socks and sploodge is this what they call a circle jerk room? all the chairs are in a circle around yours in the middle, what’s that stain on the floor?)

This paragraph, this one right here, smited me

i was kidnapped??😱 by 😭 inarizaki?????

inarizaki x fem!reader warnings: 2010 wattpad throwback, autocorrect turned off, v drunk, it hurts

a/n: omfg imagine like being kidnapped by inarazaki your schools volleyball team like? what would they do to you? make you their biggest fan?! wel keep reading to find out! let me know how you liked it might make it a series hehe here’s chapter 1! listen to this playlist

a/n: i sincerly apologize pls no one talk to me for 5-7 buisness days kidnapped by hq masterlist here whorehouse special 😝 thank you @undermattsun​ for the banner this ones deidcated to you miki

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Nothing says Sunday night quite like brat taming ennoshita

I froth over dom ennoshita it’s not even funny

ennoshita + brat taming 

warnings: spanking, tears are shed, ruined orgasms, degradation, honestly he’s a little bit mean in this, not beta’d cause i am past caring  

wc: 662

a/n: this is for my brat tamer ennoshita anon. luv u bby hope u enjoy this

SLAP! you whimpered as ennoshita’s palm connected with the flesh of your ass as your naked body laid across his lap. a hot feeling spread across them as he soothed the ache with a gentle rub before delivering the next blow.

tears began to gather in the corner of your eyes, spilling over and dampening the bedsheets. but chikara wouldn’t let up; after all, he had to punish you after the stunt you’d pulled at the karasuno reunion dinner. he didn’t like the way you had batted your eyes at sugawara after handing him his wallet that had fallen to the floor, and he certainly didn’t like how you had bent over to pick it up, short skirt hiking up and revealing too much of your backside to his former teammates.

but to be honest, you’d only done it because you liked to be naughty. yes, the spanks hurt, but the pain was part of the pleasure for you. you lived to push his buttons, because you knew that after the punishment came the chance for you to redeem yourself in his eyes and prove how obedient you could be.

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I was KIDNAPPED???? by Johnzenji 😗✌️

@undermattsun what in the fresh hell did you create

baby’s first fanfic 🥰🥰 and it’s this absolute monstrosity,,,i felt physical pain writing this.

Enjoy 🗿🗿

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• “come one pheebs” my friend calls, jarring me from my book my nose is buried in. Im upset, npbody cares about good literature anymore. I close my copy of Twilight and look up at my friend. “What,” i say, sighing. I love my friend Hannah, but she’s so loud and perky, she won’t let me enjoy my books. “You promised” she whines, “you said you’d come to the Johzenji game with mee”. I sigh again. I DID say I would go with her, but now i regretting that. Who cares about boys volleyball? Everyone says they’re hot but I just don’t see the appeal. Idk, i guess i’m just not like other girls.

“Fine” i say resigning to the fact that i’ll have to go to the volleyball game. “Ooo yay” my friend squeals again “well come on get ready then!” I look down at my Forever 21 i love ramen <3 crop top and black leggings “whats wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing! Just look a little cuter will you?” I decide to *spice* up my look with a tattoo choker and throwing my long messy brown hair with caramel highlights into a cute messy bun.

“Is this fine?” I ask Hannah. “Hmmm it’ll do” she responds with a toss of her long blonde hair. “Now lets go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors notes: omggg haiiiiii thank you SO much for reading!!!! Don’t forget to rate and review if you like it so far ;))))))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SKIP TO THE GAME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*drum beats* “Johzenji! Johzenji!” i still hear the loud cheering even over my edgy music playing in my headphones im using to help me read. I decide to tun off 5sos since i cant hear luke’s gorgeous voice anyway. A loyd cheer erupts from the johenji student section. I guess they did something idk. I look up from my book and down at the court because of the noise, NOT because i care wht happened. I see piss-yellow uniform boys all jumping around and assume thats johnzenji. I feel a jolt going down my spine and look more intsently (i couldn’t decide between intently or intensley so i combined them!!!!) at the court. My piercing emerald orbs are met with the dark chocolate brown orbs of a volleyball player with also piss colored hair but like, more dehydrated than his uniform. Our gazes battle for dominance, who will back down first? I do, of course because i dont care about him. Im not like theses other girls at the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Terushima’sPOV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We just scored a point because we’re so fucking cool (ehehhe i added language bc theyre hot badboys). I look up at the stands to wave and see a girl who looks weird. She has a book with her and shes not even looking at the court. As I stare, she stares back. Her green orbs stare into mine and i think to myself “wow she has a book at a game? She must not be like other girls” i decide i have to talk to her, so after the game….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Phoebe’sPOV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the game I want to leave. Hannah stayed back with her other friends to try to flirt with the boys, so I’m walking home alone jamming to 5sos again, god i’m so quirky then out of nowhere like a pokemon a sea of piss-yellow jerseys comes out in front of me blocking my path. The blonde one speaks to me first “hey i remember you, you were reading a book during the game, I’m terushima btw!”

A chorus of voices errupts from the boys “why’s you bring a book to the game? What book we’re you reading? You didnt pay attention to us?” a boy with sandy blonde hair and the only one wearing a white jersey says “why would you even come to a game if you’re just going to read? Thats weird.” All of the other boys lookat him meanicingly. Dehydrated piss hair says “Shut up Tsuchiyu what the hell do you know dont you think its sexy that this girl isn’t interested? I think it makes me want her more” his eyes twinkle michiviously with a predatory sparkle (omh whAt why does nobody thinks this when i read at games ugh nobody appreciated diff girls :((((() the one now called Terushima turns to me saying “idk you’re not that attractive actually you’re kinda ugly and that shirt is weird but theres just something about you reading a book, and the rest of my team agrees” I glance over at the rest of them and their eyes are now also twinkling michiviously. “I care more about luke hemmings and edward cullen (TEAM EDWARD DUH IF YOU DONT AGRRE STOP READING)” i say as i walk out of the gym. Wow i relly am so weird and quirky and edgy i feel so mysterious i think to myself as i begin my walk home with earbuds in listening to daddy issues by the neighborhood, not noticing the white van following me suddenly i get YANKED from the sidewalk and get thrown into the back of a van!!!!!!!!!! Its dark in here as my eyes adjust i notice the same piss yellow when i realize its the team from the game. A bright light shines in my face as Terushima says “you’re ours now”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~authors note: oh em geeeeee guys thanks so much for all the love!!!!! don’t hate me for the cliffhanger;))) i’ll post part 2 soon *evil laughter* don’t forget to rate and review!!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

god forgive me for i have sinned.

hi, welcome to hell, where here you have an order of kidnapped by nekoma here as part of the kidnapped by hq collab, courtesy of the miki mouse whorehouse. other participants here. banner by @undermattsun <333333333333

contains: lime, stalking, poor grammer, excessive use of emojis, disturbing amount of mcr mentions (how many will yall find?), weird plot, wattpad style sexiness, lots of eye rolling, and omg why’re they so obessed with you?

word count: 1.8k+

note: this was so fun to write. omg and you don’t know how much i had to push through wanting to trash this shit. or go back to edit. but the rule was no editing ahhhh anyway, here. hehe oh and one last thing,

🏐comment or ahare if you liked it lolz🐈‍⬛

(e/c) : eyecolor

(h/c):hair color

(y/n):youre name [the main character 💕😱✌️😋💞]

(f/n):first name

(l/n):last name

****************************************************************

running, running, running

youre foot gets caught on something, causing you to fall. you wipe the dirt off your face and continue to run turning the corner and making it down the long street, the darkness black with barely lit streetlights. behind you a honk sounds in the disabled followed by cheering. (sentence sound weerd💀)

plz plz plz no! i don’t want do die, i dont wanna-

“oof!” you say aloud as you collide into something hard yet soft. you land on your butt, groaning in the process.

“are you lost babygirl” says a voice that sounds like kuroo. opening my eyes you gasp.

it is kuroo!

(omg guys can you imagine? honestly, because what if it isnt gerard way or any 2 dimensional fictional character i dont want it ✋)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

youre day started ordinary. going to school at the local university. (and not being chased down by vicious volleyball cats.)

you had friends and even a crush. his name was jack. jack was the most popular boy on campus. he was dreamy and tall and all they girls wanted him. but he wanted you. (at least you think because you and jack were in a relationship in your head where you guys get married and shit😍).

“excuse me,” said a soft voice from behind you. you jumped, causing your hands to hit the desk. brittney, the popular mean girl, rolls her eyes, whispering to her friend about you. you stick up your muddle finger at her. she was so fucking obsessed. with her stupid hair and dumb “designer” dog purse. and the way she says vegan like vëgāñ. like bitch the word isn’t gucci. ugh you hate her.

turning, you’re met with the face of a huy you’d bever seen before.

“wow he’s actually cute! with his golden eyes and long pee yellow hair.” you think, youre cheeks getting hot. he had on a jersey which was weird because youd never seen it before. it was red.

“um...do you have a pencil?” his voice was soft as he failed to meet your (E/C) eyes. [he so wants you]

you smile before turnig around making sure the air flows toward him to make him smell your coconut and watermelon shampoo from your (H/C) hair.

“no.”

[2 hours later]

“hey who’s that guy staring at you?” youre friend asks while cramming a hotdog in her mouth. mayonnaise dribbles down the corners of her mouth making you cringe. her and her weird food tastses.

(seriously who eats hotdogs with mayonnaise? she looks like shes sucking….LOL NVM)

“probably jack,” you shrug stabbing at your salad. ugh he was soooo obsessed with you. i mean who wouldn’t be. anyway, youd kill for a berger right now. [[okay but whys that word kinda hard to spell XDD)

“um no, it doesn’t look like jack.” your friend says, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. she has literaly hearts in her eyes. what a whore. literally every guy she sees she wanna ride his jock🙄

you turn, looking around around some before feeling a hand clamp down over urs.

“dont make it obvious!” yeah says the one drooling. ignoring her you turn your head around 270 degrees, immediately locking eyes with a guy with white hair and a middle part. she was right, he definitely wasn’t jack. he had on the same uniform as that weird guy who sat behind you in the lecture. and he was staring at you… o.o

(you know that scene in twilight where edward kept staring st bella like a creeper, yeah,)

you turn back around, youre cheeks hot (not those cheeks you weirdo) . you are not hungry anymore. just creped out. suddenly youre hAirs stands up at attention when your eyes flicker up to meet a pair of narrowed, almost catlike eyes from across the courtyard. this guy had the same uniform along with the small cluster he was standing with. he had a blonde mohok (mohock? )

(edit: mokawk im so dumb XDDDDDDD)

they were all looking at you in fact. you dropped youre fork and stood.

“stop looking at me!” you call. ong was everyone obsessed. you get it, you were hot but jeez, they could at least be discreet.🙄 everyone around you gave a weird look, even your friend. they wish thry could be you. the main character ugh

you stormed away from the courtyard , steps uh lined to the beat of the black parade. 🖤 (the chorus obvi)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[3 hours later]

“are you sure you dont wanna go to the mall with me?” your friend asks while walking. you role your eyes.

“no because you do the same thing everytime. go to spicy matter and pretend your edgy just so you can catch the eye of that 27year old man who works there who wheres the same tshirt of a cat with 3-D glasses every day .”🙄 his name was like todd or wilson or leondray or something. he also picks his nose and wipes it on the your villain life sweatshirts.

“no i do-“

“and you don’t even like my chemical romance. look im going home.” with that, you spin around in slow motion in the opposite direction and leave her standing there with here mouth open. (so badass😻)

“ill have you know i totally love your bleached love!” she yells. [thats why shes a whore🖕)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(should i continue or…. do you huys even like this lol???? comment or something 🙀✌️💞😝😱😜🖤)

anywaysss, its cold outside. maybe you shouldn’t have worn some half decent version of what avril lavigne would wear. you pull down your black tutu skirt over your shredded tights as the skull chain jangled against your boot laces. you stick your hands in the pozket of your red denim jean jacket, rolling your eyes at the low hanging clouds above. what a life. ((you’re so the main character.))

its getting dark all too quickly which was bad because you still had another 45 minutes of walking to do. the streets were empty on this part of town and in your opinion, just creepy. you put your favorite black kitty headphones on and go to your comfort playlist which is duh, fall out boy, your mind muddled with thoughts of maybe being whisked away by patrick. (a story for another time im afraid…😋)

you were walking all of 5 minutes when something catches youre eye. from the corner of your vision, you see a flash of red duck behind the upcoming building. weird. or it wouldn’t have been had it not have been the same color red thats been plaguing you all day, like from those stupid jerseys. you quicken your pace as you pass the corner.

it’s completely dark now and you slow because you think you’ve missed a step aling the way. scoffing you roll your eyes🙄. how did you not know where you lived. the situation seemed all the conviencing for anything weird or bad to happen.

you suddenly hear a quickened patter of footsteps behind you. whipping around, your eyes scan the pitch darkness but come up empty. because of the pitch darkness and the fact you cant c because its dark and its hard to look in the pitch darkness bc its black. (dark)

“hello?” you call, walking boldly in the direction you heard the weird footsteps in. silence. and then you hear a cat meow. but it wasn’t from a cat. you would know because you had 8 (do you guys wanna know their names???) it sounded like a man making a cat sound. scin pricking you turn away just in time to see a white van sitting idly in front of you. you start at it and it at you. (a part of you was expecting it to say kacchow or something idk. why else would you be staring at some weird van at night?)

turning, you began walking in the opposite direction, ignoring the menasing rev of an engine. you start to trot. you hear the engine growing louder, closer. omg. you didn’t want to be dead!

now you turn the corner & brake out into a full run, dropping your dinosaur purse.

your foot gets caught on something, causing you to fall. you wipe the dirt off your face and continue to run turning the corner and making it down the long street, the darkness black with barely lit streetlights. behind you a honk sounds in the disabled followed by cheering. (sentence sound weerd)

plz plz plz no! i don’t want do die, i dont wanna-

“oof!” you say allowed as you collide into something hard and soft. you land on your butt, groaning in the process.

“are you lost babygirl” 😏 says a voice that sounds like kuroo. opening my eyes you gasp.

it is kuroo!

then your vision turns to darkess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[a/n whose your favorite character so far, leave a comment LOLZ)

you here mumbles Around you as you groan. when you do the sounds stop.

the bag was taken off your head finally as your eyes adjusted to a dank dark smelly room. you started to strugglle when kuroo stepped forward, his actions slow and menacing. he ripped off the tape.

“OW YOU ASSWHIPE” you scream, tears stringing to your eyes. he laughed.

“your an asswipe” said the dude with the mocock. the one with the long piss blonde hair nudged him before turning to you.

“lets introduce ourselves so she wont be scared of us anymore. we’re apart of the nekoma volleyball team. im kenma kozume.”

“whatever. im taketora yamamoto.”

“hi im lev haiba. and your cute,” he wiggles his brows. [gross as IF]

your quiet as the rest of the guys introduce themselves until it circle to kuroo. he doesn’t bother to introduce himself because you already knew him.

because………

he was youre ex boyfriend 😱😱😱😱

[omg who saw that coming???? anyway sorry this part is short, i fell asleep as like my third nap today bc depreshun lolZ]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[A/N: at the end theres a lime so bbe warned omg]

“(f/n) are you still scared?” sunflower head (needless to say i keep her in check) moved closer until he was like in your face. his breath smelled like root beer and wintergreen.

“y-yeah? now that i know the name of my kidnappers what im supposed to be at ease now????!” he scoffs.

“we didn’t kidnap you” he said as he tightens the rope wrapped around your body.

“yes you did!”

“no we didn’t.” mohuk guy was going through your bag.

“im literally tied up!”

“so you don’t run away.’ lev says cooly. checking the rope at your feets.

“that’s kidnapping!”

“believe what you want (f/n).” kenma shrugs. the others behind him are in cat masks, arms crossed. they to have a red jersey. [favorite colors blue btw💙]

you turn to look at kuroo, your ex.

“did you miss me?” kuroos hand brush against your cheek and for a second, your iz soften. you remember back when loving him was so easy. back when you were dumb teenagers. back when life was easier. when falling in love didn’t hurt. but he hurt you… because he wouldn’t get “ugly” tattooed on his chest 🙄 (if he doesn’t do this he doesnt luv you omg 🖕)

“no,”

“but you loved me,” he said softly.

“no i dont love you. i wont!” you start to struggle against the ropes and the guys try and hide their laughter at the site. kenma runs his fingers along your neck while lev squats in front of you. kurro tits your head to the side his lips pressing against your lips, his tongue ramming into your mouth with force.

“its ok. you’ll learn to love me. no…” you moan loudly as kenma bites your neck. (omg hot vampire much😍)

“uS.”

the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[[GUYS please telk me what you thot? i worked REALKY HARD on this and WOULD LOVE to here your THOTS . :333 any wayz,,,,,,,buy guys, see you l83r!! (lol not reallybc i dont KNOW YOU and were ONLINE) 💝💓🧡🙈👊🤲🤗😜😙😍🥰😍😌]]

I had to put my phone down 7 times, this was E X T R E M E L Y tw wattpad 😳🤌

Also us telling kuroo we’re gonna get kidnapped ? Next level I had to reread to make sure I read that right 😭🤚🏽

𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚑𝚎𝚋𝚒?!

wc: 1.5k

a/n: i’m so sorry

cw: implications of kidnapping, there is one (1) collar and one (1) kiss, this is just 2012-era wattpad level crack

synopsis: ur kuro tetrusou’s lil sister, and your at a volleyball game to cheer him on. little do u  know that snaky eyes (hee hee it’s hoehebi) are watch you from the darkness…

this is a part of the miki mouse whorehouse server collab!!! thank u to @undermattsun​ for organizing this fever dream

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