CAN I AT LEAST GRAB MY HEADPHONES, UGH

“CAN I AT LEAST GRAB MY HEADPHONES, UGH”

KIDNAPPED BY DUMPSTER SHOWDOWN CAPTAINS: KUROO & DAICHI

[real authors note: a crackfic from yours truly. I’m so fucking sorry. No one send this to my therapist because she will actually be worried.]

a/n: oh em gee hey hi hello!!! Feeling blessed that i can write for the whore house server collab!!!!!!!!!! I thought i wouldnt post in time because of all of the trauma ive been going thru but we made it! *plays drake music cutely* anywaiiiiz here ya go!!

Warnings! Dont be a pussy, get kidnapped its sexy! Lol hahaha and tw drugs, tw penis (only two for like 5 seconds) so like lime or something less citrus

wc: 2.1k!!!!!

Songs to listen to when reading this: Teen Idle by the QUEEN herself marina and the diamonds, all around me by flyleaf (dw theyre christian), and mgmt kids!!!!

A great poet once said “Got 56 a gram, 5 a hundred grams though, man I swear I love her how she work that damn pole” and that poet, mister fettison wapersons the third said it with his whole left nut. So im out here hustling the pole.

And by pole i mean working at the local 7/11.

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“i’m like a mortal who’s stumbled upon a monster’s banquet. lucky me.”

merry christmas and happy holidays @katsukes!

ok for the quick real author’s note uhh nobody talk to me about this ever again, hope u enjoy, here’s the kidnapped by haikyuu collab mlist 

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Utter nonesense provided by the whore house <333

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

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The way you describe kageyama kills me 😭 “an angry blueberry with furrowed eyebrows throws a milk carton” like COME ON that’s perfect LMAO

kageyama could kabedon me to the floor whenever and wherever 🧍🏽‍♀️

i was??? taken hostage by the schweiden adlers ??

adlers x fem!reader

wc: 1.1k

prompt: mistaking you for your middle blocker brother, the schweiden adlers kidnap you and hold you hostage?? 😯 will you find you way home? or will you find you way into their harets 😍 keep reading to fidn out!!!! if you don’t like don’t read!! constructive criticism only pls don’t be mean 😠

warnings: circa 2012 wattpad crack fanfic, opposite of proofread, written while a little bit tipsy

the kidnapped by hq masterlist can be found here! everyone else on the list is an insanely talented writer, i encourage you to check out their other works after joining me in losing as many brain cells as possible!!

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I was KIDNAPPED???? by Johnzenji 😗✌️

@undermattsun what in the fresh hell did you create

baby’s first fanfic 🥰🥰 and it’s this absolute monstrosity,,,i felt physical pain writing this.

Enjoy 🗿🗿

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• “come one pheebs” my friend calls, jarring me from my book my nose is buried in. Im upset, npbody cares about good literature anymore. I close my copy of Twilight and look up at my friend. “What,” i say, sighing. I love my friend Hannah, but she’s so loud and perky, she won’t let me enjoy my books. “You promised” she whines, “you said you’d come to the Johzenji game with mee”. I sigh again. I DID say I would go with her, but now i regretting that. Who cares about boys volleyball? Everyone says they’re hot but I just don’t see the appeal. Idk, i guess i’m just not like other girls.

“Fine” i say resigning to the fact that i’ll have to go to the volleyball game. “Ooo yay” my friend squeals again “well come on get ready then!” I look down at my Forever 21 i love ramen <3 crop top and black leggings “whats wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing! Just look a little cuter will you?” I decide to *spice* up my look with a tattoo choker and throwing my long messy brown hair with caramel highlights into a cute messy bun.

“Is this fine?” I ask Hannah. “Hmmm it’ll do” she responds with a toss of her long blonde hair. “Now lets go!”

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Authors notes: omggg haiiiiii thank you SO much for reading!!!! Don’t forget to rate and review if you like it so far ;))))))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SKIP TO THE GAME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*drum beats* “Johzenji! Johzenji!” i still hear the loud cheering even over my edgy music playing in my headphones im using to help me read. I decide to tun off 5sos since i cant hear luke’s gorgeous voice anyway. A loyd cheer erupts from the johenji student section. I guess they did something idk. I look up from my book and down at the court because of the noise, NOT because i care wht happened. I see piss-yellow uniform boys all jumping around and assume thats johnzenji. I feel a jolt going down my spine and look more intsently (i couldn’t decide between intently or intensley so i combined them!!!!) at the court. My piercing emerald orbs are met with the dark chocolate brown orbs of a volleyball player with also piss colored hair but like, more dehydrated than his uniform. Our gazes battle for dominance, who will back down first? I do, of course because i dont care about him. Im not like theses other girls at the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Terushima’sPOV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We just scored a point because we’re so fucking cool (ehehhe i added language bc theyre hot badboys). I look up at the stands to wave and see a girl who looks weird. She has a book with her and shes not even looking at the court. As I stare, she stares back. Her green orbs stare into mine and i think to myself “wow she has a book at a game? She must not be like other girls” i decide i have to talk to her, so after the game….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Phoebe’sPOV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the game I want to leave. Hannah stayed back with her other friends to try to flirt with the boys, so I’m walking home alone jamming to 5sos again, god i’m so quirky then out of nowhere like a pokemon a sea of piss-yellow jerseys comes out in front of me blocking my path. The blonde one speaks to me first “hey i remember you, you were reading a book during the game, I’m terushima btw!”

A chorus of voices errupts from the boys “why’s you bring a book to the game? What book we’re you reading? You didnt pay attention to us?” a boy with sandy blonde hair and the only one wearing a white jersey says “why would you even come to a game if you’re just going to read? Thats weird.” All of the other boys lookat him meanicingly. Dehydrated piss hair says “Shut up Tsuchiyu what the hell do you know dont you think its sexy that this girl isn’t interested? I think it makes me want her more” his eyes twinkle michiviously with a predatory sparkle (omh whAt why does nobody thinks this when i read at games ugh nobody appreciated diff girls :((((() the one now called Terushima turns to me saying “idk you’re not that attractive actually you’re kinda ugly and that shirt is weird but theres just something about you reading a book, and the rest of my team agrees” I glance over at the rest of them and their eyes are now also twinkling michiviously. “I care more about luke hemmings and edward cullen (TEAM EDWARD DUH IF YOU DONT AGRRE STOP READING)” i say as i walk out of the gym. Wow i relly am so weird and quirky and edgy i feel so mysterious i think to myself as i begin my walk home with earbuds in listening to daddy issues by the neighborhood, not noticing the white van following me suddenly i get YANKED from the sidewalk and get thrown into the back of a van!!!!!!!!!! Its dark in here as my eyes adjust i notice the same piss yellow when i realize its the team from the game. A bright light shines in my face as Terushima says “you’re ours now”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~authors note: oh em geeeeee guys thanks so much for all the love!!!!! don’t hate me for the cliffhanger;))) i’ll post part 2 soon *evil laughter* don’t forget to rate and review!!!

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god forgive me for i have sinned.