I Miss You.

I miss you.

So, I am still sad.

But my sadness has morphed into a new kind.

Now it's a quiet, calm, baby blue

Sort of sadness.

One that is no longer violent.

One that no longer screams.

This sadness tumbles gently forward

Like waves onto a sandy shore--

Bringing with it sweet memories of you

Swaddled in sorrow.

I welcome this sadness--

These memories.

Sorrow and all---

Because they're fragments of you.

And

Despite everything,

I adore you.

I adore you,

And

I always will.

Nothing

I guess it's time to forget you,

To push down my all-consuming emotions

And embrace the feeling of nothingness

That always inevitably devours me whole.

How Do You Fall Asleep When Your Heart Is In A Million Fucking Pieces?

Don't talk. Just walk.

Did I walk away too soon?

Could we have fixed things---

Talked it out---

Found a compromise?

After what you said,

That you didn't know what you wanted

That you wanted me on your terms

That you had "no desire to change" your behavior

It felt like the answer was clearly stated.

Because I realized then,

That, to you, I'm someone

Who's not even worth a conversation.

And that tells me

That walking away was the right choice,

Even if sometimes it still doesn't feel like it.

Can we just

Pretend we never met

And start all over?

“It is better to be alone than to be with someone who can’t see who you are.”

— E. Lockhart