Mercurialmink - Secrets I Keep

Seeing you used to make me feel warm.

But today, the thought of seeing you sent me into a dysregulated panic. I trembled uncontrollably and felt like I was going to pass out or throw up.

I don't feel safe around you anymore.

I miss you and your idea your warmth, your presence, your fragrance when enveloped by absence, I miss you Today i miss you just like i did yesterday and i will miss you tommow just the same.

nocturne, excerpts from my journals

One day

I'll listen to music and not think of you.

I'll pass you in the hall without feeling my stomach drop

I'll see your first name without automatically thinking of you,

and I'll look around a room full of people without searching for you.

I was just a means to an end--to support your oh-so-fragile head.