One Of My Goals In Life Is To Write An Article That Gets Published And Have Someone Somewhere In The

one of my goals in life is to write an article that gets published and have someone somewhere in the world that reads it and thinks "damn, i wish i could talk with this person, i like how they think".

i wish i could treat myself the way i treat others

tw. unhealthy coping mechanisms, ed, i'm bad at feelings.

i'm not a bad person. i know i'm empathetic like a stone, but at least – even though i can hardly ever understand people's feelings – i'm tolerant.

i never judge. if someone misbehaves, i don't judge because i don't know what's behind that attitude. if someone looks like shit for a day, i don't judge, because i don't know why they didn't brush their hair that day, what if they're depressed? what if something happened in their life so now they don't feel like taking care of themselves? i don't know. and if someone get a bad grade, i don't judge. maybe they've tried their best, maybe something occurred in their life so they couldn't study properly, whatever. i don't care. i'm tolerant.

you didn't answer my text? no problem, you were busy. you didn't show up? the other thing you had to do was more important. you were rude to me? don't worry, it happens, you won't do it again.

but when it comes to me, i'm not that tolerant. i don't care if i've finished studying at 3am, i'll always wake up a little earlier to do my makeup and hair and make sure i look perfect when i go to school. i get a slightly lower grade? i'm not going to sleep for the next three weeks because i need to study more. i treat someone badly because i'm annoyed about something? i won't eat as a punishment.

i am the meanest girl ever when it's about me. there's a voice in my brain that constantly tells me that i'm the worst person in the world. i'm mean, annoying, stupid, presumptuous, know-it-all, rude, emotionless. even though i rationally know that, actually, there's nothing wrong with me. i'm not a saint, but i'm not evil.

and i sincerely ask myself, why am i so hard on myself? i wish i could just treat myself the way i treat others.

complaining about the degree i chose myself ( season 1 episode 1 )

just finished a big project which will weight ⅓ of the final grade. honestly i'm not satisfied with it at all; i think it could have come out much better, but now alea iacta est. it's not entirely my fault tho. it was a damn group project. conclusion: i hate group projects, i hope it still goes decently.

here's the reason you procrastinate

based on Fuschia Sirois' research

everyone procrastinate at some point. research suggests that almost 1 in 4 people procrastinate on a fairly regular basis, and the rates are even higher among college and university students ( 50% of them procrastinate regularly and about 85-90% do so occasionally ).

because procrastination is so common we tend not to put too much thought into it, in the end what is the problem? it's just delay.

well, it's not. actually procrastination is harmful delay ( so defined by the researchers ); it is a form of delay which is:

voluntary

unnecessary

involves important tasks which you intended to do

people often underestimate the consequences of procrastination and how debilitating and harmful it can be. if you delay dealing with ( for example ) your academic works, of course you can expect some negative results in that area, but what about the collateral consequences of it?

research has shown that people who have problems with procrastination have low physical and mental health and practice less healthy behaviors. they deal with depression, stress and anxiety.

just think about the enormous amount of stress that procrastination brings: first of all, constantly chasing deadlines. deadlines can nag anyone, even those who don't struggle with delaying, but then it ends, the job is turned in, and everything goes back to normal. for procastinators this is not the case, they will keep putting off important things and will constantly end up with an imminent deadline.

so, if it's so harmful for your health, why do people do it? some people think it's about laziness or poor time managment, but actually:

laziness isn't procrastination. if you're lazy you don't have the energy to do anything, instead procrastinators are always busy with a thousand non-essential tasks to do, in fact they avoid doing one specific task, not every task ( for example if i need to study, but i'm procrastinating it, i end up cleaning my room )

poor time managment it's actually a symptom of procrastination, not a cause.

from a psychological perspective the origins of procrastination are rooted in negative emotions and the urge to cope with them through avoidance. so actually procrastination is about poor mood managment, not poor time managment.

procrastination starts when we have a task that's unpleasant, but we have to do it. and we use procrastination then as a way to get relief from those negative emotions associated with the task, so basically it's not even about avoiding the task, but it's about avoid the negative emotions that we associate with the task.

we need to avoid stress and aversive feeling that come with the task, especially when we don't feel like we can manage those negative emotions at the moment. so we take the task, we put it aside, and it's instant relief. it's fast, it's easy and it works for a little while, then that sense of shame, guilt and self-blame starts to kick in.

so why do we keep procrastinating? for that sense of relief, because that made us feel rewarded and we tend to repeat behaviors that rewarded us. this can easily lead to a cycle of procrastination.

however, the negative thoughts that we have ( "why didn't i start earlier?", "i'm letting myself down" etc. ) don't actually make us take action. they just add layers of layers on pre-existing negativity.

so how do you get out of the procastination cycle?

go back to valuing your task, if it's so important that you do it, remind yourself why you are doing it

remember that we tend to overestimate the discomfort that a given challenge will bring us. probably your task isn't even that time-consuming, unpleasant and frustrating

be compassionate and and forgive yourself, it's an effective strategy to reduce the negative emotions associated with the task. you are not the first nor the last person to procrastinate, we are all human and we all make mistakes. research has shown that doing so reduces the risk of procastination.

hope you enjoyed this little explanation, here's my sources: https://youtu.be/xTEPNxx0MsA

just wanted to pop by and say i appreciate your blog! xx

thank you so much 🫶

Why aren't you posting credit for your images? They aren't yours.

all images i upload here are taken from pinterest, i wrote it in the bio. i don't look for credits for every single image because very often on pinterest accounts repost without credits and i prefer to use the time to research content, not the original authors of the photos. if the author of some images asked me to remove them i would not hesitate to do so 🫶