It's Incredible How I Have A Enormous List Of Books To Read, That At Some Point In My Life I Really Liked

It's incredible how i have a enormous list of books to read, that at some point in my life i really liked the plot, but now i can't pick any of them, they all seem lame or boring or i'm not in the mood

Sometimes I just feel im not enough. Like, will i ever be good in some profession in the future? Will someone really like my job? What if, no matter what i do i just end failling in the end?

christine “ladybird” mcpherson said, “i wish i could live through something.”

and i want to do the same.

so here the fuck i am. living through something. living through a feeling in my gut i can never quite shake, despite it constantly being on low tumble in my mind perpetually.

and here i am, living through haze i can never get my flashlight to cut through, even in the thinnest of mists.

so maybe i should’ve clarified a bit more.

i want to live through something good.

 i want to be the main character, fulfilled by the plot and nothing else. i want character development. i want foreshadow you won’t understand until you know rewatch for the second time. i want a cutscene. i want a shot that’s a metaphor for something bad to happen. i want the moment where i just know every single turmoil in my life is over and a sappy song will play as the camera pans onto my face in golden light or as i drive around in a car or SOMETHING. i want a purpose. i want to fall in love.

but if ladybird couldn’t have all those things, whose to say i could?

but i’m not in a film so whose to say they couldn’t?

How am i gonna get over this apathy feeling if my body likes to stay here quiet and still?? I just feel like nothing else matters beside my damn feeling, but I need to do something and I just can't

“I love it when I see old couples together, because it makes me believe that true love does exist.”

— Unknown (via resqectable)

Nobody can teach me who I am. You can describe parts of me, but who I am, and what I need, is something I have to find out myself.

— Chinua Achebe