I'm Just So Tired - Tumblr Posts
Sometimes I just feel im not enough. Like, will i ever be good in some profession in the future? Will someone really like my job? What if, no matter what i do i just end failling in the end?
40 hrs to Zero
Enter and Exit, Everyday, through the door of pause and gray
I feel my conscious slip away, and away, and away, but I'm awake, and it's violent in this wake
Chipping like like a chisel at my desire, making my spirit tire, and suffocating my fire
LIAR. You sold me a dream I couldn't buy, and now I'm renting to stay alive
If that's what you call living, I'm unalive
The illusion, the matrix, the delusion, call it what you want but we are in it, everyone one of us living in a New York minute, nothing slow, no concept of time, just line, after line, after line, after line, repeating the same words no newness to find
This is not a simulation, it IS real, it's time that you face it, it's time that you feel
We're so desperate for a lie, because the truth is to hard to face, understand it's wrong, but we're really in this place
There's no where to flee, you cannot hide, because the change of pace you need starts inside.
If you had 40 hrs to Zero, would you face it, or would you hide?
I can't get out of bed. send a crane. asap.
.
I love my parents to death, but I’ve never felt more under appreciated than I do today. I wish I could just shrink into the tiniest matter and disappear. I’ve never wanted to disappear this much. I’m not asking to be praised or given compliments, I just want to be appreciated. I just want to be told “you did well” or “you did your best”...I just want to know that at least someone appreciates me.
My Tired Brain.
My head falls heavy
Onto my pillow
My eyelids shut upon arrival
My thoughts cease to exist
I slip into an empty sleep
Steady but unrestful
I wake, but do not feel awake
Groggy and exhausted
My sleepless nights
My tired brain
My head fills the empty space
Onto the rest of my day I must go.
-E.S.
@sunkissed-summerdaze
Yuuta's playlist is 3.5hrs long, why do I have it listed as unfinished
look I really want to write something fun and relatable to make my tumbrl seem cool, but also I'm just tired and my brain is dead
I really didn’t want to use this blog to complain or add anything other than stories but I’m so damn disappointed and upset. I have completely been deterred from ever attending another sm event as a fan. Unless it’s a concert, I’m not showing up.
This company wants their talent to be these global groups while disregarding the global fans.
So many things happened that left a bad taste in my mouth. Let’s go through some of them.
1). Members landing and immediately writing to kfans, saying they are bored, asking if they are asleep, etc. Maybe they aren’t aware that a lot of American nctzens are subscribed to their bbl accounts but still?? It’s been 3 years. Is it so hard to at least pretend that we matter at least a bit?
2). Being told to go to Korea for The Link + … now why are we going to spend thousands of dollars to go watch a concert with kfans that don’t like us?? Especially us black nctzens who make up a significant part of the North American nctzen population . And you’re the global group from the “#1 K-pop company” , use them funds and book more venues and cater to your global fans?!?!
3). The speedway event. There’s a lot that could be said here. But I really don’t want to dive too deep into it. This event was planned last minute (and I got confirmation), was one of the worst I’ve ever attended, and seemed like minimal effort was required for it. I just wanna say that I’m so happy that we were extremely expressive throughout the whole thing and weren’t taking any of the bullshit.
4). I cussed out and shoved a fansite because she thought it’d be okay to shove and push ppl in order to get some footage. She ran away immediately. We cheer.
There’s actually more but I won’t add it in because it’ll only make me more upset. I have been dealing with a lot of emotions and I don’t see myself ever stanning another SM group. I wish NCT the best of luck.
Never knew I could cum three times maybe it was built up for so long!!
In moments of silence, I search for words that could comfort me. As time goes on, they get lesser in number, and the melancholy weight of the silence just wears me down.
I need everyone, literally every human, to know:
YOU NEED A FUCKING ADVANCED DIRECTIVE.
I don't care if you're young. If you're old. If you think your kids know what you want. If you think your spouse knows what you want.
DO THE FUCKING PAPERWORK SO YOUR FAMILY WON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.
My neighbours from above are such a big mystery to me. Somehow you can hear them partying and dancing with friends, having wild sex three times in a row and then bathing a screaming toddler all in one night
Who are they?
Where do they get their energy from?
How does this kid even sleep if they live so soundly?
And, most importantly, why do that at night when I'm trying to sleep???
When you're so tired it feels like you're under some kind of influence
So im gonna finish up the two 100 follower event requests I have and then start on the 200 follower event!
I would absolutely love it if I could look up one of the only things making life bearable rn without seeing either a constant stream of content about a show that makes me deeply uncomfortable or “actually your favorite character is boring as hell and does not work at all in anything and has no effect on the story at large and also doesn’t matter and sucks and he doesn’t do anything remarkable or have enough abilities to warrant any attention and literally you can skip those games tbh they don’t have a story anyway play this fan game that changes all of the dialogue instead because he is so lame and has no personality or plot significance whatsoever he could spontaneously not exist and nothing would really change even that show you don’t like that doesn’t really adapt anything from the games and changes everything about every character they decide to write about couldn’t make him interesting he is that much of a nothing nobody character because he has no modern triple A game level cutscenes he is basically whip man Mario he go kill Dracula so boring that’s it”
Been feeling like running off into the woods for a week to self reflect… just wish I had the time to go
I'm just going to need another cup of coffee... please.
My bad ass this morning
Had a mental breakdown, ready for the day now, come at me bitches I couldn’t give less fucks at the moment.
For the past three days I started reading Bungou Stray Dogs. I wanted to take it slow bc I knew I was going to be bombarded with information.
Yet, here I am today, almost 10 chapter away before I have caught up to the latest one.
I have gained a headache, a lot of emotional damage, too much plot twists to the point where it has exhausted me. Granted, I'm probably exhausted bc I have been reading for hours and from the emotional damage this has caused me.
Cried with Akutagawa's death and yet he is basically alive. Honestly don't know if he'll count as alive once this ends.
I'm 10 chapters away... but I give up for the night. I can't take it...