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HOTNESS 101: HOW TO BE MORE ATTRACTIVE

There are plenty blogs and videos etc on how to dress, walk , talk, etc to be more attractive (usually with an axis on men). I'm taking a different approach, say, the long term permanent kind of attractive that's centered on you.

1 . Learn a foreign language.

Nothing says disciplined like someone that speaks a foreign language, and discipline is sexy. Enroll in a foreign language class and supplement with duolingo and other apps. The trick is to learn "parent languages" eg if you learn Spanish you basically know at least half of Italian and Portuguese. If you learn German the Scandinavian languages are yours for the taking. This doesn't just make you insanely attractive it opens doors for you.

2. Motorcycle license

I swear every sexy (especially feminine) woman I know can 'ride a bike' so to speak. It's a nice little trick to have up your sleeve that never gets old. You don't have to actually ride the machine but the know how is incredibly sexy

3. Learn a dance

No not street dance. Zumba. Ballroom waltz, whichever classical dance fits your fancy. Women that dance are insanely attractive. Hip hop and street dances are nice tricks to have up your sleep but classical. Classical dances ma'am. Top tier. That plus the health, physique and mental benefits? 10/10. Enroll in a class.

4. World politics.

No you don't have to keep up with what princess Katherine was wearing but you need to know what's the deal with NATO and Russia. You need to know what at least the big 5 and the UN are up to Plus local news. Current affairs , love. Make sure when the conversation turns to Putin you hold your own. And I mean a personal, educated opinion not just a repetition of headlines.

5. Cultured.

I understand when someone says "cultured" we think of western European etiquette and culture. That helps, it does but I mean YOUR culture. There's something about women (especially of color) that speak their ethnic languages, know their tradition (and respect/adhere to it) and owns it. Culture is identity. Identity is attractive. Know your roots, how deep and how far they run and stick by them.

6. Privacy

Theres a difference between being private and being mysterious. Learn it. Mystery is captivating. It commands interest and the people around you almost instinctively chase you. Privacy demands respect. Mystery is almost a game. Privacy is a character trait. They can co exist but. Privacy sis. Very attractive.

7. Own your story.

Especially for us ladies that came from ground up or from tactless to leveled up or from Cardi B to Amal Clooney , you get the idea. Own it. And by own it I don't mean lead by it. This thing where you tell everyone about your "flaws" so they can't be used against you, no. Its low value. Its insecure. It's no. Just, own it. When it comes up smile and say yeah that's what, 2016. Time runs. Don't laugh don't try bypass sit by it as long as they sit by it and simply own it. Nothing says sexy harder than a woman that carries no shame around things she's supposed to be ashamed about.

8. Education

Especially from a prestigious/ well known institution. A bachelors I whatever field is sexy, whether you work in said field or not. Bonus points if it's the big 5 of white collar jobs (medicine, law, finance,Architecture, or engineering) or arts (Philosophy is surprisingly attractive since everyone has a say in it. Always a conversation starter. Ive noticed the same with psychology but it's less conversation starter and more free consultation)

9. Signatures.

Scent. Word. Make up look. Style. It's attractive when you know who a person is by a thing of theirs. "The pearl girl" or "the matte lipstick girl", whichever. Find a signature.

10. Musical instrument

Im a fan of classical or uncommon. Guitar is good don't get me wrong but piano. Violin. Cello. Harp. Theres something feminine about these instruments. The upper hand is if you can play a , say, "exotic " instrument, like one from your culture that no one else does. The idea is to stand out.

Click

WOWOWOWOW I AM WAITINF FOR THE BBOKAMY LORE

List of stuff to write for @amyysfics

Smau series based on bbokamyy lore

Fem!rock-singer!reader x han (req by moonie)

Skz eye mb

Skz mb once we get more cb pics

Series (drabbles) - insecurities

Smau - drunk

Smau - where ur eyes @

Ptsd

Smau - wrong movie

Smau - sensitive periods

Smau - sleep drunk

Secret drabble Addition for a @feelbokkie fic

👀

Anything y'all want first based on only this info? (The feelbokkie drabble will take a while and the smau based on bbokamyy lore needs more background work first)

Well you can make it a request!

Also WOWOWOW SUPER PROUD AND HAPPY FOR U HUN! your team is life goals fr >>

Thats good to know!

YOOOOHHHHHHHH

BESTIEEE HI HoW HAVE YOU BEEN? HowS LIFE? ALL GOOD?

I had this thought okay, hear me out

Yk bad romance by lady gaga rii, and if you search an electric guitar cover GODDAMN DOES IT SOUND HEAVENLY

my point is

Female!rock singer reader singing this to her hearts content while HAN JISUNG DOING THE ELCTRIC GUITARR

Dkfjsjdjdje IM PLAGUED AND IF THEY WERE ACTUALLY DATING BYE

okay that’s all bye lemme cry over it :-;

Heya Della! I've been alright! Life is mostly good honestly. My team knows about my mental health and all of my bosses are insanely supportive. So it's been comfortable to go to work - a safe space. Aside from that I'm great, too!

Is that a...request? Because I am DOWN to write that if you'd like me to!

OOOoooooo THE PLOT THICKENS we love it

@feelbokkie stop stealing @strayingawayy from me. You may be my current marriage but he will always be my first <3 smh

What is the polyamory lore omg let me boil it down first

- amy is married to @feelbokkie , but apparently @strayingawayy was amy’s first love

- turns out feelbokkie also likes strayingawayy, so yall are the three spidermen meme

- so basically now whats happening is yall should all get married and go to therapy

@strayingawayy @feelbokkie @amyysfics

Pls confirm its needed for my psychology project

@feelbokkie stop stealing @strayingawayy from me. You may be my current marriage but he will always be my first <3 smh

Okay so i got some shipnames-

- DIVORCE

-allamy

- amyllie (amy allie)

- amyspace

- bbokamy

Need help finding a shipname for @feelbokkie and me. Feelamy sounds whack. Person to come up with best name gets bragging rights.

OMG YES! Ilysm!

ALSO @feelbokkie ‘s SMAUS ARE ROP NOTCH ur being trained by the best omg a wueen in the making

HEY GIRLIE

so basically

To all of bestfriends, i send a YOOOOHHHHH before i start my posts, and since i literally love ur fics, can i do that?

Also HELLO HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING A LIL CONCERNED FOR MYSELF

also ur so consistent ilysm

Hope u have a good time ahead! <3

HI HI DELLA!!

That's so cute! you're like changbin then!! I love that! Please do it!

Ahhh thank you so much! I used to write a while before, so I decided to finally start an account after @feelbokkie encouraged me to. And she's been helping me get into smaus, and I really enjoy those!!

Everyone has already been so nice to me, I feel like I will really enjoy my time here!

NAHHHHH

Also, i wanted to say, your PFP >>>>>>

He may not be my bias but he is a cutiepie

skz - lee know boyfriend texts

pairing: lee minho x reader warnings: crack, fluff, reader has long enough hair to braid summary: texts with your boyfriend lee know screenshot count: 5

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Taglist: @notastraykid, @hee0soo, @moon0fthenight, @bbyquokka, @puppysmileseungmin

skz - you bleed through your pants during practice

pairing: ot8 x member!afab!reader warnings: crack, fluff summary: you bleed through your pants during dance practice screenshot count: 5

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Taglist: @notastraykid, @hee0soo, @moon0fthenight, @bbyquokka

skz - your body insecurity gets bad while cuddling

pairing: chan x gn!reader, changbin x gn!reader, felix x fem!reader warnings: hurt/comfort, some crack in felix', descriptions of body-insecurity summary: your boyfriend notices that you are insecure while cuddling and knows just how to help you get through it word count: 1.5k

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Bang Chan, 565 words

Channie noticed your discomfort almost immediately. Of course he did - he knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. He would take note of the way your eyebrows would scrunch up a pinch. He would feel your muscles tensing under his body. You didn't try to pull away, not wanting him to realize that your thoughts were torturing you once again, but his perception of your tiniest shuffle was out of this world - so he knew how you felt, even without you saying it out loud.

"Wait, let's sit up real quick, baby", he loosened his touch around your body, helping you get into a more comfortable sitting-position. His hands were still hovering on your arms, his fingers ghosting over the small hairs that were all over them. His eyes found yours. And while his were shining with love, yours were full of sadness - the tears threatening to escape if you looked at him for a second too long. "Channie?", you put one of your hands over his, slowly removing his hold of your arms. "I can't help but feel like I don't deserve to be with someone as-", you stammered, "-someone as beautiful as you." Your eyes deviated from his, looking at your lap in shame.

The man in front of you asked you to look at him again, his voice barely more than a whisper, "May I touch you, baby?" You nodded, not trusting your voice. Chan put one of his warm hands on your cheek, holding it there until you leaned into it unconsciously. "Whenever you lean into me like that, it shows me that you trust me as much as I trust you. That you feel as comfortable around me as you can." A tear rolled down your cheek. It landed on your lips, tasting salty. You didn't mind.

"Can I touch your hips?", he asked. You nodded again, trying to hold in the rest of the tears that were about to fall. His hands slid down your waist and stopped on your hips. You barely felt the touch, your eyes never leaving his. "I love holding you here when we dance. It's like my hands were made to hold you - like I was made to hold you." Your bottom lip quivered and you stopped holding back, finally letting yourself cry.

"Am I allowed to kiss you, love?", his hands were still on your hips, squeezing them ever so slightly. You nodded one last time, letting the tears trickle down your face. His lips felt soft on yours as his arms slid behind your back, holding you impossibly close to him. Chan tasted the salty tears that hadn't stopped yet, but he didn't care. This wasn't a kiss of lust or romance. It was a kiss of trust and intimacy. It was a kiss of comfort. It was one of love. "If you think I'm beautiful, then you have to be, too. Because I am convinced that I was made for you. That we were made for each other. You complete me and I complete you."

He let you stare at him, letting his words seep into your brain for as long as you needed. "Channie?", you nuzzled your head against his shoulder. "Hm?" "Can we cuddle more?" This time it was his turn to nod, letting your bodies mold together once more, as if they were one, "Of course, baby."

Seo Changbin, 404 words

"Do you think my stomach is too big, Bin?" Changbin furrowed his eyebrows behind you. You were cuddling for a while, but this made him remove his hold from you, letting his hand slide off of your waist. "Jagi! What do you mean?", he made you turn around slightly, so he could see your face. He was expecting you to be joking, but he could tell by the redness in your eyes that you meant every word.

"Yah!", he looked at you with an entirely serious expression. "Why? Do you think mine is?", his eyebrows furrowed more. You were shocked at his response. "No! Why would I ever think that?", your eyes widened, "Your stomach is warm and soft and quite literally my favorite place to sleep!" You sighed, "I just...I think my belly is too fat and that it makes me look gross."

Changbin noticed that you tried to look anywhere but at him, not wanting him to see how embarrassed you were. "Bunny.", his hand touched your chin, making you look at him, "Did I ever tell you that I can't sleep without holding your belly?" You shook your head. "When I hold your stomach it's like I can keep you safe. I can hold you even when we are asleep, and if a big bad closet monster would try to snatch you away from me at night I could hold onto you without it standing a chance. I always take hours to fall asleep when I am not holding you."

You giggled a little, but he could tell that you still weren't entirely convinced. Both of his hands moved to your cheeks, squishing them a little so you would automatically pout a little with your lips. It made you look adorable. "Your belly holds all of your most important organs, you know? It makes sure to keep them save so that I get to have one more day with you. And it does that every single day. How could I think it's gross, when it's such an important part of you?"

"Do you mean that?", your eyes were wide, glistening with wetness. Changbin put both of his hands onto your belly, immediately spreading their warmth to you. "Every word, bunny."

Both of you got back into the position you were in before your question. "Binnie?" He only hummed in response, his breath tickling your neck. "I like your belly, too."

Lee Felix, 438 words

Felix could feel you attempt to pull out of his tight cuddle for the third time, so he finally decided to talk to you, "What's wrong, honey?" You mumbled what he could only assume to be words in some sort of alien language. "I didn't quiet hear that.", he giggled. "I said I don't like my body today.", you tried to wriggle out of his hold - again. But he pulled you even closer - again. "I'm not going to let you get away from me until you hear what I have to say. And if you still want to stop this insanely good cuddle-session to let me freeze to death, then, I'll let you.

He didn't wait for your response, seeing you pout in surrender. He already knew the response, but asked anyways, "Is this about the fact that your legs are hairy?" "Yes." "You are like crazy pretty when you smile. Genuinely. You are gorgeous. I can see your eyes sparkle when you do, and it makes me so happy. That's why I always send you stupid tiktoks that I think you will like." In an attempt to stop him from seeing your smile you pulled the corners of your mouth down to keep the pout intact. It didn't work. Felix beamed a toothy smile at you, "Sometimes I catch you dance along to music when you think nobody is watching. But everyone is watching, because you are mesmerizing. One time I had to threaten the boys I would teakwondo their asses if they looked at you for too long again." You laughed, not being able to hold back any longer. "You did what?" "It's true!", he nodded.

"Do you know why I stopped calling you cupcake a few months ago?" "Because honey is sweeter?" He shook his head, "Close, but no. I realized that you are way better than any cupcake could be. No matter how good the buttercream is and no matter how many sprinkles are on it." A loud snort escaped you, "Lixie, that is such a bad analogy!", you had tears in your eyes from laughing. "Yes, but it made you laugh."

You didn't protest when he hugged you even tighter one last time before letting you get comfortable in his arms again. "How could I ever even care about some hair on your body when your laugh immediately hypnotizes me. You don't even realize that I would do anything for you if it only means I get to hear your laugh."

In order to keep up the playful atmosphere you slapped his arm slightly, fake-rolling your eyes, "Shut up and cuddle me, sprinkles."

Taglist: @notastraykid, @hee0soo, @moon0fthenight, @bbyquokka

skz - memes they send you

pairing: ot8 warnings: crack, everyone is insane summary: stray kids sending you memes randomly screenshot count: 8

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Taglist: @notastraykid, @hee0soo, @moon0fthenight, @bbyquokka

Pairing : Lee Minho x F!Reader x Bangchan TW : lots of arguing ; just a lot of angst ; also the baby is born but there's no time for going into detail ; it's all angst ; it’s another cliffhanger :’) ; Word Count : 5.4k Request : A lot, it's been requested a lot! AN : It won the poll, it's time for part two. IS THIS THE ANGST THAT YOU WANTED!?!?!? IS THIS WHAT YOU ALL WERE WAITING FOR?!?! I LOVE ALL OF YOU SM!

Things were silent… Maybe too silent, eerily even, but you attributed it to the fact that the guys had a comeback coming up and they were just too busy pretending that everything was okay so that the press and the fans wouldn’t come up with their own speculations and rumors. No one thought anything of the fact that the choreographer planned every single dance to keep Minho as far away from Chan as possible. No one even realized it. The tension that was felt between the two, the looks that they’d give each other, either no one picked up on it, or they just thought it was part of the bad boy concept that they had right now. You knew… The other guys knew, everyone that was close to them knew what was really going on… But no one knew just how bad it could get. 

“I’ve gone to my lawyer.” Minho snarkily remarked as he walked past Chan. The comeback was done, they had done great, they had amassed multiple rewards, and reality was finally setting back in for the two of them. “I just thought that I’d let you know so that you can’t flake out on the hearing under the pretense that you didn’t know anything about it. I’m telling you right now, it’s going to court.” 

It was becoming enough for Chan, it had become enough the day that Minho had come to your house and upset you, but now it was going too far. “Why can’t you leave well enough alone? What are you trying to gain from this? She’ll never take you back, you need to accept that and move on with your life.” Always the peacekeeper unless he had no other choice, Chan tried to keep his emotions in check and under control. You were getting further along in your pregnancy and the last thing that you needed was another situation like before to stress you out. 

“I’m not the kind of man that’ll sit by and watch another man raise my child, especially my daughter. I have values.” He stated as if it were a well known fact, but Chan could only laugh, the loud snort sounding out in the studio at the proclamation. “I hope you don’t get too attached…” Minho continued, completely ignoring Chans cackling. “If you and Y/N won’t let me see her, and if Y/N won’t take me back… I’ll just fight for full custody.” 

That statement had Chan choking on his own breath as he inhaled sharply, his eyes widening to look up at Minho. “You’re joking? Tell me you’re joking. That’s fucking evil, even for you. You’d really be petty enough to take away Y/N’s child just because she won’t get back with you?” But the only response Minho gave was a coy smile as he slowly backed out of the room. “I won’t let that happen…” 

“You’ve got a couple more months to think about it… To let her know. What’s more important to her?” It would be a double edged sword, no doubt about it. It was the most vicious ultimatum, and Chan didn’t think that anyone would be low enough to do something like that, to threaten someone with something like that, but clearly Minho was lower than the average person when he strived to get what he wanted. 

“Fuck…” Chan mumbled, leaning back in his chair, his hands over his face as he tried to think about what to do. This wasn’t something that he could just bring up to you in casual conversation. You were in a fragile state, the smallest thing could work you up, and this was not a small thing. This was too much for even Chan to handle, he didn’t know what to do, but he knew that he needed to let you know. He wasn’t going to lose his daughter, and he surely wasn’t going to lose you. 

“You’re home early. I thought you were at the studio?” You spoke from the kitchen, clicking off the burner, and before Chan had even finished taking off his shoes, you were waddling over to him. “What’s wrong?” You deadpanned, and Chan thought that he was hiding his emotions well, but you could read him like a book, it was something that he loved about you, but right now, he wished that he could have just let you eat your dinner in peace before dropping the bomb. 

“Nothing, darling. Just stressed about a new song.” He lied, fingers crossed in the sleeve of his jacket as he took it off, hoping that you’d believe him. “Come, eat your dinner, I’ll tell you all about it.” He smiled at you, but he could see the suspicion in your eyes, but you let him lead you to the kitchen, pulling out your chair for you and waiting for you to sit down before plating up the food you had been cooking. “My girls are hungry, yeah?” 

“Christopher…” You said his name sternly, yet still graciously accepted the plate he put in front of you, giving him a smile of appreciation before letting it drop and watching him take the seat across from you. “I’ve seen you stressed from working on new songs… That isn’t what this is. Be honest with me, please? Is it something I need to know? Is it about… him?” Him… He who shall not be named… Minhos name hadn’t been spoken in your house since that day he came over. You looked at it as a bad omen, like if you said it, he’d show up. 

“Please eat first…” Chan responded softly, using his own fork to pick up the food on your plate and bring it to your lips, and even while stressed, he gave himself a small second to adore the way your eyes rolled yet your mouth still opened for the food. “I’ll tell you all about it, but I want to hear about your day first. How are you feeling? How’s our girl?” 

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and running your hands over your stomach. “I got another stretch mark today…” You mused, although your nose scrunched up while saying it. You hated the stretch marks, but Chan thought they were beautiful, just another sign to show how amazing you were. “She’s been kicking around a lot… I think she’s trying to break out.” 

He chuckled lightly, thankful for the small talk, thankful for these little images that your words filled his mind with momentarily to take his mind off of what was bothering him. “Ah, it’s getting a little too cramped in there for baby girl, isn’t it?” He joked, and your eyes lifted up with your smile as you nodded in agreement. “Just two more months and she’ll be home, free to kick about as much as she likes.” 

“Two months…” You said, almost dreamily, your head tilting to the side, and he could tell that you were picturing it, the way your eyes sparkled and your hands absentmindedly continued to rub over your stomach. “I know she can’t wait to meet you… Every time she hears your voice she starts moving more. I think she’s just as excited as you are.” 

Hearing you say that should have had him even more excited, but now his heart sank as what Minho said earlier replayed in his mind. How was he even supposed to begin telling you? How could he look you in the eye and completely shatter those dreams that fluttered like butterflies in your beautiful mind? “About… that…” Chan said softly, nervously, his head dropping. He didn’t want to see you cry, he couldn’t. “Mi…- He… Came to see me at the studio today…” He felt the floor begin to vibrate as your knee bounced, anxiously waiting for him to finish saying it. “He’s taking it to court… He said that… If you won’t get back with him… Or if you won’t let him see her… He’ll fight for full custody.” 

You were completely frozen and Chan worried, he worried about what you might think, what you might do. Would you try to run? Try to hide? He couldn’t let you do that. “I guess… We’ll just have to… Get our own lawyer then?” You whispered, your voice cracking with each word, your eyes turning up to the ceiling as your teeth came down on your bottom lip. You were trying not to cry, and Chan realized at that moment that he might have disliked the sight of you actually crying, but he really hated the sight of you trying to hold it back. 

“Darling… I promise… I swear… He won’t win. Our daughter is going to be here with us, and I’ll be here too.” He reached across the table to grab your hands that sat loosely on his own. You were too far in your own thoughts now, so far that he couldn’t pull you back out, not yet. “How about we finish our dinner, and then we can watch the new episode of that show you love… Hm? How’s that sound?” 

Your shoulders shrugged, your eyes downcast now as you twirled your thumbs. “I’m not very hungry anymore…” You mumbled, pushing yourself away from the table and getting up. “I think I just… I just want to go to sleep. I’m tired…” You pressed a kiss to the top of Chans head, and he could just feel it, radiating off of you, the way you slouched over and walked so slowly, yet so heavily towards the bedroom. You were devastated, you were scared, and that made him want to fight harder to keep his family together. 

///

“Christina Chana Bang, Stray Kids leader, Bangchans daughter's birth was announced today by JYPE…” The headline was longer than that, but Minho had stopped after finding out what he needed to know. His daughter was finally here, and he wasn’t a villain, he’d give you time to heal, he’d give the baby time to get back home… He’d give you a little extra time to think… But if things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to… He’d soon be meeting his daughter, and he’d be changing her name as well. 

It felt like more of a slap in his face that his daughter seemed to be almost directly named after Bangchan… You all did this on purpose, to spite him, to piss him off more. Well, you got the reaction that you wanted. “Maybe you should try to just calm down a bit?” Jeongin recommended, awkwardly fiddling with the remote after pausing the news while the headline was still written in bold black letters at the bottom of the screen. 

“Calm down a bit? Sure, I mean, that’s easy for you to say… It’s not your kid carrying some other guy's last name… And first name… No… You just don’t understand.” Minho said sarcastically, drumming his hands on his lap as his nostrils flared and his teeth gritted together. “I’ll just go up there and talk to him myself… I don’t fucking care.” 

As soon as Minho was off the couch, Jeongin had moved to stand in front of the door, making sure he didn’t leave. “I… I don’t think that’s a good idea. There’s a bunch of cameras and reporters and… And if you make a scene, it’ll look really bad.” Jeongins eyes flashed around the room, but none of the other guys were home, they had all gone up to the hospital to congratulate you and Chan. Why was Jeongin left in charge of Minho? He wasn’t quite sure, but now he was really cursing himself for agreeing to it. 

“Like I said… I don’t care.” Minho snapped, trying to move Jeongin out of the way, but the maknae was holding his ground, his arms stretched out to completely block off the door. “Who’s side are you on? If this were happening to you, I would let you go. That’s my kid, Jeongin… I need to go see her.” 

“B-But Chan hyung is up there too…” Jeongin nervously retorted, trying to avoid Minhos dagger like eyes as they stared at him. “Don’t you think… Maybe you should just… Let Y/N and the baby rest. If you need to talk to him, you should just… Maybe just call him? I’m sure they’ll let you see the baby soon and… Well, there’ll be a lot of pictures taken of her too.” His attempt at keeping the peace was both a long shot, and it didn’t work at all. 

“I should have been the one up in that hospital anyway.” Minho hissed, his anger only growing with the younger boy's defiance and everyone seeming to be okay with just accepting his baby as Chans. “Look… I love you… You’re my brother… But if you don’t move out of the way, I’m gonna have to move you myself.” 

Was it a threat? Jeongin wasn’t sure, but he remembered the way Minho had hit Chan when he was angry enough, and he didn’t really want to go through that, so he hesitantly stepped away from the door, his head dropping shamefully. “Please don’t do anything stupid… It won’t help you… It won’t help anyone.” 

Minho scoffed, pulling the door open with such force that it slammed against the wall. “Don’t try to preach to me, I know what I have to do, and I don’t need anyone else’s help to do it.” And with that final statement, the door was being whipped shut, sending a vibration through the walls that Jeongin could feel in his back as he leaned against it. 

“Oh no, oh no…” Jeongin muttered to himself as he backed away from the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing Chans number only for it to go to voicemail. “Dammit…” He huffed, his mind feeling far too jumbled right now, unable to even completely focus on what he had to do. He knew that if Minho got up there, if Minho got through those doors, it would be a shit show for everyone. “Hyung…” Jeongin sighed when Chan finally answered his phone on the fifth round of calling. “He… He might already be there… But he’s coming… He’s coming.” 

It wasn’t rocket science, Chan knew exactly who Jeongin was talking about. “Hm… Thank you…” Chan muttered, and he could hear you in the background, although distant, he could hear the worry in your tone as you questioned who Chan was talking to. “Don’t worry about it, darling. It was just one of the staff calling to congratulate us.” Chans lying came so easily now, and he didn’t feel good about doing it, but if it meant protecting you and his daughter, he’d continue. 

“I’ll text the guys to let them know… So you can stay in the room with Y/N… And I’ll head up there too. I’m sorry I let you down…” Of course, Jeongin was filled with guilt for letting Minho walk out that door, but he was scared, he was so scared… But now that he thought about what could happen if Minho got up to the hospital and made it to your room… That fear was tripled. 

Chan sighed softly, and Jeongin could imagine him shaking his head. “You didn’t let me down… I wouldn’t want you on the receiving end of Minhos anger anyway. Just let the guys know what’s going on…” His tone was so hushed, and Jeongin could hear the sound of a bathroom fan, and he knew that Chan had gotten as far away from you as possible so he could speak without you worrying. “Just be careful on your way up here, okay? You still have to meet your niece.” 

///

“I’m gonna head down to the cafeteria with the guys to get something to eat… Do you want anything? Do you want one of them to stay here with you?” Chan asked as he stepped out of the bathroom, and you could feel some kind of tension coming from him, but you assumed it was just because he had witnessed you giving birth and… Well, he did almost faint, so he was probably still just coming to terms with what had just happened and what the next couple years would look like. 

You shook your head, letting out a yawn as you nestled into the bed. “The nurses have Chana, I think I should… really take advantage of that and get some sleep.” You murmured, your eyes barely even opened as you talked to him. “I love you… You should try to get some sleep when you come back up too… We’ve got a long couple months of nights ahead of us.” You joked, and Chan wanted to laugh, he really did, but those nights were seeming to be more of a distant dream now that he knew Minho truly wasn’t giving up. 

“Yeah… I will… I’ll get some sleep. I’ll let the nurses know that you’re resting if I see them on my way down.” It was hard to hold himself together. Had Minho already shown up? Was he there? “I love you, dream sweetly, darling.” He quickly walked over to the bed, leaning over to kiss your forehead before rushing back to the door. “I’ll be back up soon.” 

Walking out of your room was hard. Minho was… He was like a villain in a horror movie. No one knew where he was at right now, he could be on his way up to the room while Chan and the rest of the guys make their way down. He didn’t want Minho alone with you, not that he worried you’d get hurt, he just didn’t want Minho to sway your mind. “Seungmin is in the front lobby of the building, he already let security know what’s going on…” Felix said, patting Chans shoulder to not only reassure him, but to show him that they were all going to stand beside him through this. 

“I’m just tired… Tired of everything.” Chan muttered, exasperation clear in his voice as he ran his hands over his face. “Today should be the… The happiest day of my life. My fiancee just gave birth and… My daughter is here… And instead of being in that room with her, I’m on my way down to hopefully keep her ex from getting in. It’s just… It’s exhausting.” His heart was on his sleeve, every single emotion that had been pent up over the last couple months was finally being poured out. “He’s threatening to take us to court… He’s gonna try to take her away from us.” 

Not only did Felixs mouth fall open, but the other guys who were listening shared the same reaction of shock. “You didn’t tell us that… Why didn’t you let us know?” Felix inquired, truly upset that Chan hadn’t filled him in on just how bad things were getting. “We… We’ll do whatever we can to help… We’ll be beside you… You and Y/N…” 

It was a sweet sentiment and of course Chan appreciated it, but he didn’t want all of the guys to turn against each other, he didn’t want this to hurt their friendship. That’s why he had kept it hidden for so long. “No… It’s fine. If he feels attacked or threatened he’ll only be worse. He needs to know… Or at least assume that he has someone in his corner, as awful as that sounds.” Chan relented, taking a deep breath and then clearing his throat as his lips pursed into a tight line. “I can’t let this affect the group, STAY would be devastated to know what was going on…” 

And no one could disagree with that, so they had to back down. No one outside the group could truly know what was going on because it would ruin everything that they had worked so hard to achieve. “Has Seungmin texted you or tried to call you or anything?” Jisung asked, nervously chewing on his bottom lip as he leaned against the wall in the hallway. 

Chan wasn’t sure, he hadn’t felt his phone vibrate, but then he remembered that he had turned his phone off while in the room so that the baby could sleep and you could rest. “Shit…” He mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket and seeing the multitudes of texts and missed calls from Seungmin. “For fucks sake…” He muttered, reading through the texts that were urgently written and misspelled, letting Chan know that Minho had shown up, and he was still sitting in the waiting room, and he was pissed. 

“Do you want us to go down with you?” Hyunjin whispered, sheepishly twiddling his thumbs as if he were hoping for Chan to say no, and while he hadn’t actually said it, his head shook in response. “We’ll stay up here and guard the door then… Make sure he doesn’t get in.” 

///

“This is fucking ridiculous and you know it, Seungmin!” Minho shouted from his seat in the waiting room, the only thing keeping him from storming up to your room was the security guards that stood in front of him. “That’s my baby! I have the right to see her as her father! Why are you doing this? Why are you protecting him?!” Minho continued, looking between the guards to glare at Seungmin who stood a little further away, his eyes intermittently glancing behind him, waiting for Chan. 

“I’m just doing what’s right by Y/N and Chana…” Seungmin mumbled, and Minho rolled his eyes at the name that his daughter had gotten, a name that he couldn’t wait to change. “You forfeited your title as her father when you cheated on Y/N… I don’t think it’s fair that you’re coming in here trying to ruin the moment that Chan hyung and Y/N have been so excited to have.” 

“Thank you, Seungmin…” Chans voice came from behind the younger boy who had never been so relieved to see his hyung. “You can go back up with the other guys now… I’m sorry about all of this.” Seungmin grumbled incoherently under his breath, clearly annoyed with everything that was going on as he walked away, leaving Chan and Minho to once again face off. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here right now.” 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve being the one to take my spot beside her as she delivered my child.” Minho threw it back to Chan, and they both were already on edge, prepared for anything that might happen. “I don’t know how long you think I’ll let this continue… But I’m going to get her back, and I’ll have both of them. I’ve let you have your fun, I let you hang around while she was pregnant, but I think it’s fine time for you to go back to your place and let her real father take over.” 

There was nothing more infuriating than Minho constantly throwing in his face that he wasn’t Chanas real father, and he knew that the only reason Minho did it was because it was the only thing that could truly get under Chans skin. “I am her father. She’s got my last name, I cut her cord… I was the first person to hold her. She’s my child, whether you try to take her away or not. You’re not the only person who’s gotten a lawyer. I’m ready for whatever it is that you try to throw at us.” 

Minhos jaw set, his teeth grinding together as his knee started to bounce. Minhos attempt at irritation was intentional, but Chans words had really set Minho off, whether it was on purpose or not. “She’s mine! They’re both mine, all mine. You’re stuck in some silly little fantasy world. Do you really think that Y/N will choose staying with you over having her daughter? Our daughter? I’ll get her back, and I’ll have both of them, and you’ll have nothing. You could have made this easier on yourself, you should have… But you chose the hard way… And that’s on you.” 

Chan was a leader, he’d do anything to protect the guys, and with that leader instinct, it made it easier for him to fall into the role of being a father, and a fiance. Along with those roles came the natural need to want to protect you and his daughter from any of the pain or heartache that Minho might cause, and he sure as hell wasn’t just going to let you or Chana be taken away from him, not without a fight. “The only one stuck in a fantasy is you, thinking that you’ll ever get them both back in your life. You’re an awful person, you were an awful boyfriend and you’d be an even worse father. You don’t deserve to have Y/N, and you surely don’t deserve to raise Chana.” 

“That’s not her name…” Minho practically growled, his fingers tightening around the arm rest of the chair. “You chose that name to piss me off. Everything you’ve done has been an attempt to make me angry. You want me to go off so that Y/N will think I’m an awful person and she won’t come back to me.” He leaned forward in his chair, the security between him and Chan tensing up at his movement. “I’m not… You’re the bad one… I’ll make her see that.” 

The huff of air that Chan let out through his nose was loud, the little smirk that tugged up at the corner of his lips was blood boiling, but Minho knew better than to be set off by it. “I don’t have to make her think anything. Y/N can come to that conclusion on her own, and she has.” Chans tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth before he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Look, I’d love to sit down here and go back and forth with you for the rest of the evening, but my daughter and my fiancée are upstairs waiting for me. If you want to take this to court, fine… But you’re not going to win. I won’t let you. You’re not taking my family away from me.” 

Minho pushed himself up from the chair, stepping closer until he was up against the security guards, as close to Chan as he could be. “If that’s what you want to do then do it. You’ll ruin the group, everything that the guys have worked for, everything that you’ve worked for… It’ll be ruined. You won’t just give up when you can, you won’t give me back what’s mine. It’ll all be on you.” 

It was a threat, but it wasn’t nearly as scary as the possibility of never being with you again, of never holding Chana again. “The guys know where my priorities lie, and if you’re willing to destroy the group because of your selfishness and your inability to realize that you’ve screwed up for good, then that is entirely on you. You can take your guilt tripping elsewhere because quite frankly, we don’t need it, nor do we want it. Go home.” 

“You won’t win…” Minho muttered as he stepped back, his hands shoved angrily in his pockets. “I won’t let you win this… I’m gonna see her… They’ll both be mine, all mine…” He continued ranting as he was practically ushered out of the doors. It wouldn’t be the last you’ve all seen of him. He wasn’t going to give up until he got what he wanted, and he wanted you, he wanted his daughter. He realized his mistakes, he’s suffered for them, he’s regretted them since day one of being caught. It was time for forgiveness, at least in his eyes it was. He’d get that one way or another, he was sure of it. 

///

“What’s this?” You asked, walking into the kitchen, your daughter snuggled close against your chest. The white envelope with the massive bold letters had immediately caught your eye, and you shifted Chanas weight into one arm so you could grab the mail off the table and look at it. “Have you seen it yet? It’s already opened…” 

Chan was leaning over the counter, his back turned to you, almost entirely hunched over. He was silent, but his body was shaking, the veins of his arms protruding as his fingers gripped onto the edge. “He won’t give up…” Chan mumbled, finally turning to face you, his fingers running through his hair. You could see the pain in his eyes, the faint streaks of tears on his cheeks that he had attempted to wipe away. “Let me hold her while you read it… I’ll take her…” 

Your eyebrows wavered, worried about what could be inside the envelope, but you had a pretty good feeling of what it was, so you handed your daughter over to Chan before slipping out the paper. “A fucking summons? Is he serious right now?!” You screeched as you read the bold letters at the top of the paper. “He’s going too far… I thought he’d give up. I… I need to talk to him… Maybe he’ll-“ 

“No!” Chan practically shouted, his eyes glancing down at Chana and then back at you before taking a deep breath that left his lungs shakily. “No…” He repeated, his eyes closing as he continued to take deep breaths to calm himself. “I don’t want you talking to him. We can handle court, I’ll have one of the guys or something… They can babysit Chana… You can talk to him in court. You’re not… You’re not talking to him right now. He’ll try to use whatever you might say against you… I know how he works.” 

You lowered down into one of the chairs at the table, dropping the paper down on the surface before burying your face in your hands. “She’s not even three months old yet… He’s already trying to take her away from us…” Your words were muffled in your palms, and it wasn’t made any better that you were already beginning to cry. “If he… If he takes her… I need to go with her, Chan… I-“ 

He shushed you, walking over to stand beside you, brushing his fingers over your hair. “Don’t say things like that. I’m not letting him get her, and I’m not letting him get you. He’s not getting my girls, not now, not ever. Please don’t think like that. You’re not going anywhere.” He leaned in to press a kiss to the top of your head. “We’ve got enough proof, enough witnesses to say that he’s not fit to be a father, he’s at work all the time… Plus, Chana is too young, she can’t be taken away from you. Everything is going to be okay. Believe me, trust me.” 

Your head shook fast, your hair falling around your face, small strands sticking to your tear coated cheeks. “It’s not that easy for me to believe… this is my daughter… my baby, we’re talking about. I won’t believe that things are okay until this is done, until it’s over with and he’s completely out of our lives…” You glanced up at Chan who looked like he was deep in thought as he swayed back and forth with your daughter in his arms. 

“I’m trying… I really am. I’ve got a lawyer and everything for this… I’m… I’m scared too. I don’t want him to take her… I love her, she’s our baby. I love you too, you’re my baby girl…” The pet name had you rolling your eyes, slightly flustered as you dropped your head to look at your knees. “He’s not going to win this, I won’t let him.” He slipped a finger under your chin, tilting your head back so you’d look back up at him, your glossy eyes reflecting the twinkling lights of the chandelier like stars. “You’re strong, you’re so strong, darling. I’ve watched you get over him, I’ve watched you carry a baby for 9 months and then push her out… You’re so much stronger than you think. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.” Passing your daughter into your arms, he pressed a kiss to your cheek before standing up straight again. “Take a deep breath, darling. We’re gonna get through this, together.” 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me -> (continued in the next line because html coding is ridiculous)

@mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc @syuuji @sanriiolino @yukichan67 @randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @its-hannjisung

People who wanted to be tagged in this specific fic : @hannie-bees @klyde06 @jihyun2monster @everglowdaisies @miniminkis

Pairing : BF!Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : established relationship ; arguing ; panicked Jisung ; kind of angsty but mainly fluff ; a little suggestive at the end ; Word Count : 3.0k Request : @moon0fthenight : a hanji fic (angst cause its ur forte OFC) where you have a small argument with him, and so you give him space understandingly, but he misunderstands your intention and thinks that you are givjng silent treatment so breaks down with a panic attack and vents all his work struggle and you comfort him

“Thank you!” You chimed as you grabbed the carry out bag from the girl working the window, making sure it wouldn’t tip over before moving out of the drive-thru lane and heading back out on the road again. 

Jisung and the rest of 3RACHA had been working late nights yet again, staying up until the crack of dawn trying to perfect the songs that would be coming out in the next album that hadn’t even been announced yet. They were always ahead, but you worried about them and their lack of rest. That’s just one of the reasons you were heading out to the studio right now, the scent of grease from the fast food filling your car, and while you knew it wasn’t the healthiest meal, you wanted it to be something quick that they could munch on, and then hopefully they’d all decide to just head on home and get some sleep when they were done eating. 

Making your way into the building and over to the elevator, you clutched the bag in one hand and the cup holder in the other hand against your chest, hoping that you wouldn’t accidentally drop or spill any on your way to the studio. It was a surprise, you wanted the guys, especially Jisung, to know that you cared about them. 

As you walked down the hallway, the soda in the cups sloshing against the plastic lids, you could hear them faintly talking behind one of the doors. The light of Chans computer slipped through the crack between the actual door and the frame, and you wondered just how focused they had been on working that they didn’t even shut the door all the way. 

At least it would make it easier for you to get into the room, and you nudged the door with your hip to push it open further, flashing your brightest smile to the guys who all looked up at you with the most confused looks. “Jisung…” Changbin muttered to your boyfriend who sighed heavily before pushing himself up off the couch. 

“It’s late… What are you doing here?” He asked as he walked over to you, eyeing the food that you were holding before his eyes moved back up to your face. It surely wasn’t the reaction that you were expecting, but you wrote it off as them just being tired. 

You held up the food bag, your smile never faltering, although it felt like the guys in the room were less than happy that you had come in. “I brought you all some food, you’ve been working so hard. I just wanted to check up on you three…” You explained, finally setting the bag of food down on the little side table before placing down the cup holder as well. “I was wondering when you’d come home… I’m worried about you all.” 

“Jisung…” Chan now said his name, more sternly this time as he swiveled his chair around, removing the headphones from his ears and dangling them around his neck. They were all staring at you, and the looks that you were getting from the three were a mixture of annoyance, irritation, and even a little bit of anger. 

“Sorry, hyung…” Jisung mumbled, placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you out of the studio and back into the hallway. “You don’t have to check up on me. I’m not a baby.” Jisung said sharply once he had gotten you out of the room, and the words hit you a little harder than they probably would have if he had just said them over a call or through text. “If I’m not home, and I’m not answering your calls or your texts, then just assume I’m busy and don’t bother me. This is setting us back. You’re setting us back right now.” 

You had gone out of your way to make sure they were fed, you had done it out of the kindness of your heart, because you cared about your boyfriend and you cared about his friends, and they were all looking at you like some sort of burden. It was one thing for Chan and Bin to look at you that way, you didn’t really care, but for your boyfriend to see you in that light, that was painful. “I was just… I was trying to make sure you ate… I wanted to make sure you were okay…” You whispered, trying to swallow down the lump that was forming in your throat. 

Jisungs eyes were like daggers as he rolled them, shadowed in the low light of the dimly lit hallway. “I didn’t ask for that. You came here unannounced, we were doing good, we were almost finished. I just need some space, that’s all I’m asking for. Space and time to get done the things I need to do. You think you can manage to let me have that?” 

While you hoped that he didn’t really mean the things that he was saying, you couldn’t be sure considering the fact that he sounded so serious right now. “Y-Yeah… I’m sorry…” Was all you could manage to say. What else could you say to that? You didn’t come here expecting an argument, you didn’t come here thinking that he’d be mad at you for surprising him. You had been completely sideswiped by his and the other guys' reactions, and all you could do was feel the pain from his words as you backtracked down the hallway, the sound of the door slamming shut echoing off the walls on either side of you. 

Space… Time and space… That’s what he needed, and that’s what you’d give him. With much thought, you realized that he was just working hard, and maybe you were a little bit overbearing at times, but that’s just because you loved him, you cared about him. It was hard, but you’d give him what he needed so he and the guys could get done what they needed to do, and then when that was over, you’d be able to talk to him hopefully. 

You packed a couple clothes and other necessities into a small bookbag, heading to your parents house under the pretense that you missed them and the house felt lonely without Jisung there. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but you weren’t going to tell your parents about the small tiff that you and your boyfriend got into either. You’d stay there for a couple days, not just to give him the space, but to keep yourself from overthinking about his words, because while you had come to the conclusion that he didn’t actually mean them, it didn’t change the fact that they still hurt. 

It was easy to keep yourself busy while you were there. You hadn’t seen your family in so long, that a better half of your stay was just you catching up with them and talking to them about how things had been since you were gone. You went shopping and helped with dinner and chores, and you spent late nights staying up watching shows with your mom just to make up for missed time. You barely even had your phone on you, let alone the time to check it for texts. 

“Hey babe, we finished working on the album! Wanna celebrate with us?” “Totally cool if you don’t want to do a group celebration. Maybe you and I can go out for dinner or something?” “I miss you, I haven’t seen you in a bit. I’m coming home today, I spent the night at the dorms, I can’t wait to sleep in our bed with you again.” “Are you busy with work or something? You haven’t answered in a whole 24 hours and that’s totally not like you… I love you!!” “I came home and you’re not here… You’re just working… Right?” “Your toothbrush is gone…” “Your brush is gone…” “Your clothes and your bookbag are gone… I really hope that maybe we just got robbed and you’re at work right now or something because I’m getting kinda scared…” “Babe…?” “I know that what I said wasn’t nice and I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I love you so much, you don’t understand.” “Baby, please. I’m getting scared, I’m really scared. Tell me you’re coming back. Just call me. Please I didn’t mean it!”

When you finally got to check your phone close to the end of your visit, your entire lock screen was filled with notifications from him, and when you checked them, you silently cursed yourself for not checking your phone more often while you were there. The last thing you wanted to do was to make him think that you were actually mad at him, but you knew how he was, and you knew he was probably freaking out already considering the last message was sent a day ago. If he wasn’t panicking to the other guys at the moment, you were sure he was lying in bed crying. 

“Ji ended up coming back home a little earlier than we thought.” You excused yourself as you walked through the living room with your bag swung over your shoulder. “I had a great time, I’ll come back and do this again soon, I promise.” You hated having to leave your family on such short notice, but with Jisungs anxiety and you knew how he could get, you were worried about leaving him alone for too long with the assumption swimming in his head that you had actually left him. 

“Oh no, that’s okay. Next time you come up, bring him with you. We haven’t seen him in a while either.” Your mom said, cheerful and still unaware of the reason behind your presence and the reason for your rushed departure. “I love you, come back soon, okay?” You nodded in agreement, taking an extra second to give everyone a hug before running out the front door and throwing your stuff in the backseat before climbing into the front and starting the drive back home. 

You had tried to call him on your drive back home, and either he didn’t have his phone on him, or he was actively ignoring you, because he wasn’t picking up and that scared you even more. As you pulled up to the house, the sun was just beginning to set, but none of the lights in the house were on. Was he even home? 

Not even bothering to grab your bags from the back, you jumped out of the car and ran up to the front door, fumbling with your keys to unlock it only to realize that it hadn’t been locked at all. Usually he would lock the door no matter what, worried about crazed fans or even just robbers breaking in and hurting either you, him, or both. Your heart was already racing as you slowly stepped into the dark house, not even bothering to kick off your shoes as you flicked on the lights and made your way around. 

Everything felt quiet, too quiet, too still, and you worried that maybe he really had left after you failed to respond to his texts. You were about to leave, go to the dorms to see if he was there or if any of the other guys knew where he was, when you heard the toilet flush and the slight creak of the bathroom door as it opened. “Ji?” You questioned softly, feeling more like the main character in a horror movie right now than a worried girlfriend. 

All those fears subsided though when you heard him gasp, the hall light flicking on and revealing your boyfriend, his hair disheveled and his eyes bloodshot, his cheeks and the tip of his nose blushed a dark pink and his lips chapped from breathing a little too much and a little too heavily. “Y/N…” He croaked out your name, but he didn’t move from the center of the hallway and the domed light above his head was more like a spotlight on him in contrast to the darkness of the rest of the house. 

“I thought you left.” You whispered, finally taking the time to take off your shoes before walking over to him. “Why were all the lights out? It’s so dark… You could have tripped over something and hurt yourself.” You quietly scolded him, your fingers gingerly moving his hair out of his face only to realize that it had been curtaining just how sad he truly looked. 

“I thought you left…” He retorted, but he didn’t move away from your touch, he actually seemed to melt into it. “The light hurt my eyes… I was crying so much… I thought you were gone. I… I didn’t know what to do, and you weren’t answering my texts, I didn’t even know if they went through and none of the guys knew where you were. I got into an argument with Chan and Changbin… I was so scared…” He rambled, and your heart ached for him, knowing that you put him through so much. 

Your arms moved down to wrap around his waist, burying your face in his chest, breathing in the comforting scent of him that you had missed so much while you were away. “I would never leave you… You said that you needed space… That’s what I was giving you.” You explained, and his silence afterwards had you pulling back, looking up at him to see the fresh tears that were spilling down his cheeks as his eyebrows furrowed and his bottom lip trembled. 

“I don’t know why I said that…” He shakily mumbled, his hand moving up to the back of your head to pull you against his chest once more, like he was truly scared that you’d leave him again. “I was just so busy with the new album and… It’s so stressful sometimes working with them. I just wanted to get done and come home to you… And… I fucked up, I know I did.” 

“No you didn’t…” Your words were slightly muffled by his shirt, but you hoped that he heard you. “Baby… Ji, listen…” You moved your head back and then took a step back so you could look at him, but your motion had his eyes widening with panic as his hands reached out to you again. “I know that you get stressed, and I know that sometimes I can be a little… overbearing-” 

“N-No… You’re not… I love when you come visit me at work. I love when you show me that you care.” He cut you off, his chest rising and falling heavily as he verged closer to having another anxiety attack and you quickly shushed him, rushing back into his arms, and while the one on the receiving end of the hug would usually be the one comforted, you knew that allowing him to hug you was comforting enough to him. 

“You didn’t let me finish…” You murmured, making sure that your mouth wasn’t squished against his chest this time so he would really hear you. “I know that I can be overbearing sometimes… but it’s because I love you, and I care about you, and I don’t want you to overwork yourself. I know that you get tired, and when you’re tired, you get kind of grumpy. I wasn’t mad about what you said… It was kind of upsetting, but I understood that it didn't come from a place of anger… You were just exhausted, and you were stressed… And I wasn’t… I would never leave you because of that.” You tilted your head up to look at him, your own eyes glossing over with your own tears that seemed to form just from seeing his. “Did you at least eat what I brought you guys?” You asked, trying to slightly verge the topic from being so sad, and he sheepishly chuckled as his head nodded. 

“Yeah… And I felt like shit about it too. We all did… My burger was extra salty because of my tears.” He answered, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you tightened your arms around his waist, nuzzling into his chest. “I’m just glad you’re home… I missed you so much… And… And next time you come to the studio to surprise me, I’ll let you sit on my lap and I’ll hold you… I think you being there will make me feel better.” 

You hummed softly, nodding in agreement to his words. “If that’s what you’ll do next time I come to the studio, I’ll have to visit more often.” You lightly teased, moving your arms up to drape around his neck as you pulled him down just enough to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too.” You murmured against his lips, feeling the corners pull up slightly as his fingers fisted the loose fabric of the t-shirt you were wearing. 

“Please do… I’ll just kick the guys out if I want to be alone with you…” His voice was low now as he slowly began to back you up towards the bedroom. “Can I make it up to you… For upsetting you… For being awful and rude…?” 

You smirked as you pulled back to look at him, your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Mm… I don’t know… I think you just want to get me in bed…” You jokingly remarked, although you weren’t really against the idea, your finger hooked into the bottom of his shirt as you lightly pulled him along with you until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fell back onto it. 

“It might be a little bit of that too…” He mused, falling onto the bed over top of you and holding himself up just enough on his elbows. “But I want to show you that I love you… How much I appreciate you…” He dipped down, his lips latching onto your neck, and you could feel through his shirt that his body was burning up. God you loved this man, you loved everything about him, and when his lips finally got done working on the the exposed skin of your neck and he looked down at you with eyes that were both so dark, but so bright at the same time, you knew that you’d do anything for him as long as you got to be with him forever. He was everything to you, and you could tell by the way that he looked at you that you were everything to him. “Can I?” 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse

Pairing : BF!Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; no childbirth (yet?) ; mention of an abortion ; Felix is a POS ; angst no fluff ; Word Count : 2.5k Request : @lovesunshinefelix : can I get an angsty felix request diff from his pregnancy series wherein felix is an absolute fucking asshole and left the reader when he found out they were pregnant, u decide what happens next surprise me AN : I hope that you are thoroughly surprised by this, I hate making him the asshole honestly, but at the same time I absolutely love it!! I just love writing stuff like this!! I hope you love this girlie, this is for you!

Double pink lines showed on all six white tests that were evenly spaced along the bathroom counter. They were dark, they were undeniable, not a single discrepancy is any of them. It was a fact now… You were pregnant, and your boyfriend… he was on tour, for the next three months. 

It’s not that you didn’t want to tell him, it was quite the opposite actually. You wanted him to know, but he was such a sweetheart, he cared about you so much, you knew that if you told him during the tour, he’d drop everything just to come home and be with you. It was the early stages of your pregnancy, and you knew that for now, you’d be able to handle whatever was thrown your way, whether it be symptoms or doctors appointments. It was easier to hide right now too, you didn’t have to worry about him catching on. If he questioned why you hid it from him, your main reason was that you weren’t sure if the pregnancy was 100% yet. The first 12 weeks were the scariest and the most uncertain, and you didn’t want him or yourself to get too excited, especially if it ended in a miscarriage. It was a valid reason, and it had you keeping your mouth shut until he came through the front door. 

Unexpected and unplanned was the announcement at your 12 week ultrasound, that not only were you pregnant, but you were having twins. Two babies, and you rightfully panicked for a second because that was… It wasn’t planned to even get pregnant with one, let alone two, but you knew that with Felix by your side, you’d be able to get through it. He was the ray of sunshine that you held tightly onto whenever things seemed to be a little too hectic, or when things started to feel like a little too much. 

As the weeks passed on though, you started to just… Get used to the fact that you were carrying two children, and maybe it was a maternal instinct, maybe it was the fact that they were his children, or maybe it was a bit of both that had you growing excited even at the thought of having this little family with him. You couldn’t wait to tell Felix, you couldn’t wait to officially start this journey into parenthood with him by your side. It would only be a couple more days until he came back home, and now you were giddily counting down the days to tell him the exciting news. 

“I think we caught every single red light on the way here.” Felix exclaimed as he trodded through the front door, his suitcases parked off to the side as he kicked off his shoes. “Hey, angel… You look beautiful as always. Did ya miss me?” He asked, the irritation that had initially coated his words seemed to be shaken off as soon as he laid eyes on you sitting on the couch. Your smile was bright as you watched him, anticipation building in your stomach and sending a shiver through you. 

“Of course I did. I always miss you.” You chimed from the couch, making sure to keep yourself covered with the thick throw blanket so that he wouldn’t see your stomach. It had grown quite a lot already, something that was both shocking, but also expected considering you were having twins. “How was the flight?” You wanted to make small talk, just so he could get settled back in before you dropped the news on him, although you were quite certain he’d take it well, you just didn’t want to shock him immediately. 

He rolled his shoulders and his neck, stretching his arms up as he walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge to grab a bottle of water before making his way to the couch to drop down beside you. “It was good, not as comfortable as being able to sit or lay beside you, but it was bearable. Changbin didn’t snore too loud behind me, so I got a good amount of sleep so I’d be well rested when I got home to you.” His arm draped over your shoulder as he leaned against you. “I couldn’t wait to see you again.” 

Now was your chance, he was in a good mood, he was rested, he was close to you, now all you had to do was tell him. “I couldn’t wait to see you either… I’ve got some pretty big news to tell you.” Even though you were almost 100% certain that he’d take it well, you couldn’t help the jitters that coursed through your body causing your voice to tremble with your nerves. His eyes widened as well as his smile, his body turning almost completely to give you his full attention before nodding to you to tell you to continue. “I’m… I’m pregnant! They're twins!” 

And while your excitement seemed to grow exponentially from telling him, his dwindled to nothing almost immediately. His smile fell and his eyes wavered, his hands pulling away from yours to fold in his lap. “You’re… Sure about this? You’ve… You’ve been to the doctors and everything for it?” He questioned, and maybe he was just nervous about getting excited too soon, so you quickly nodded, reaching out to grab his hands in an act of reassurance that everything would be okay, that everything was okay, but he moved his hands away from yours, shoving them in his pockets as he jumped up off the couch. “How far along are you?” He blurted out quite harshly, and while you were used to him apologizing almost immediately after sounding so rude, the apology never came. 

“I’m… Almost four months…” You whispered, slowly pulling back the blanket to show him the swell of your stomach, and you saw his chest rise, puffing out with the large breath that he took in. “It’s okay though… They’re okay, they’re healthy.” You once again tried to reassure him, assuming that his panic was caused by not being there when you found out. 

“I don’t care about that! I’ve got five months to figure out how the hell I’m going to juggle my job and paying child support to not just one, but two fucking kids!” He rambled, but the mention of child support had your head tilting to the side, your lips parting to question what he meant, but you couldn’t seem to find the words. “Don’t look at me like that… You know that I can’t do this. I’m too fucking young to deal with my job and two fucking kids. I didn’t want this… You threw this on me!” 

With every single word, it was like a vicious attack, and that beautiful future that you had spent the past couple weeks imagining started to spin, like a tornado, the images a whirling vortex that were sent down the drain. “I thought… I thought that you’d be happy. You always talked about having a life together… Spending forever together… Where did that go?” The sight of him rolling his eyes had your stomach tightening and your nerves kicking into overdrive. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go… This wasn’t what you had planned on at all. “I-I.. I didn’t want this either… I’m young too…” 

He scoffed, his nose crinkled into a look of disgust as his eyes flickered down to your stomach and then up to your face. “I didn’t ask you to keep them. If you would have told me sooner, I would have told you to abort it, get rid of it.” It was like a stab, a gunshot, there was bile rising in your throat at the thought of getting rid of the two little beans that had become such a big part of you, you honestly couldn’t imagine not having them in your tummy. “And don’t even try to make it seem like I’m the bad guy in this. You sprung this shit on me as soon as I got back from a fucking tour… That should have been your first sign. I mean, what did you think would happen? Everything would be sunshine and rainbows and I’d be this happy go lucky guy somehow maintaining a career where I’m constantly in the fucking spotlight, during brand sponsorships and bunch of other shit… And you just… You expect me to have time for you? For children? You’ve gotta be out of your mind.” 

And maybe you were, maybe you had lost sense of the reality of your relationship and how hard it was to actually see him, how little you spent time with him. Maybe you really were out of your mind as he had said, thinking that being pregnant would somehow bring him closer to you instead of pushing him away. “I wasn’t going to do that…” You mumbled, your hand moving down to rub over your stomach, seeming to be your own source of comfort now that Felix was clearly disgusted by you. “You don’t have to worry about anything… You don’t even have to pay child support. You’re right… I sprung this on you and… You obviously don’t want any parts of it. I’m not going to force you…” 

Letting out a humorless chuckle, he folded his arms over his chest, glaring down at you. “Oh, sure. You say that, but once it gets to be too much for you, you’ll be trying to take me to court. It’ll make front page news online and then you’ll get the pity party. I can see it now.” It was pretty eye opening to see now just how lowly he thought of you. You had been blinded by the rays of sunshine that seemed to radiate off of him whenever he was around, but it was like you had put on sunglasses, you could block those out, and now you could see who he truly was. 

“I’m not taking you to court.” You snapped, having enough of him being not just an asshole, but ruthlessly so. “You’re not the man that I thought you were, and you’re definitely not the man that I want in my children’s lives, so you don’t have to worry about me trying to force you to do anything or asking for your money. I don’t want your money, because like you said, I can see it now. All of the fans that follow you like you’re some kind of fucking god will call me a gold digger and a bunch of other awful shit, and to be quite honest, I don’t need that and neither do my kids. So once you walk out of that door, I’m done. I’m done with you and everything that has to do with you. The only part of you that I love now are the children that you gave me, the children that you don’t want.” 

Your entire body was trembling, and the tears flowed freely down your cheeks. They weren’t tears of sadness though, they were tears of anger, unable to hold back the burst of emotions that coursed through you, and unable to channel them properly. “Promise?” He snidely cracked back at you, and it was the final nail in the coffin. He wasn’t who you thought he was at all, he was nothing like the way his fans portrayed him. It was all an act, and the character that he had been playing as was gone now, revealing the true Felix that you had mistakenly fallen in love with. 

“Promise.” You retorted flatly, finally pushing yourself up off the couch and walking to the door, and with your back turned to him, you hadn’t caught the way he his jaw had dropped when finally seeing you fully, you hadn’t caught the way his fingers twitched to reach out to grab you, the way his eyes blinked a few times to snap him back to reality just a little too late. “I’ll pack your stuff up and leave it on the porch, I’ll text you when I’m all done, and then I’ll block your number and delete it so you don’t have to worry about me bothering you. You can move on with your life and your career.” You said as you grabbed the suitcases and wheeled them to the center of the entryway. “You already have some of your stuff to leave with.” You pulled open the front door, moving over to the side to give him room to walk out. “Bye.” 

The damage was already done, and it’s not like you’d believe him or even be willing to listen if he tried to go back on his words right now, so he kept up with the act, sneering at you as he grabbed his luggage and wheeled it out the front door, stepping out onto the porch. Maybe if he turned around one last time and you saw the look of regret in his eyes you’d let him talk, but the door was already being slammed shut, and the locks clicked, and he knew that you were probably already breaking down on the couch, a complete mess because of what he had said. 

There was nothing he could do now except trudge over to the side of the road, his phone gripped tightly in his shaking hands as he texted his leader, asking to be picked up. Twins… he wasn’t ready for it, he wasn’t in the right place in his life to take on that kind of responsibility… But he hadn’t even given himself a chance to try. He immediately attacked you, and maybe it was the jet lag or the stress from just coming back home and simply wanting to enjoy one evening without having something else to worry about… But none of those things were truly an excuse for what he had said or the way he behaved because you were surely more stressed than him, and now that stress had quadrupled all because of him. 

Twins… Two children, his own children, little drops of sun that were part him, and part you. You, the only person who he ever loved before, the only person he could ever see himself loving… And he ruined it. A family, one that he’d never get to spend time with, that he had so easily given up on as if it wasn’t important at all. Sons… Daughters… Maybe one of each… He’d never get to meet them though. He’d never get to experience that feeling of holding his children for the first time or watching them take their first steps. He’d never feel that excitement as he bore witness to each and every milestone. He gave all of that up the second he started his rant, the second those thoughts weasel’d their way into his mind and were actually spoken. Maybe he’d watch from a distance, living the life that he turned his back on through pictures or videos that you hopefully might post online. It wouldn’t be the same… But it was all he would have, all he would ever have. 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me

@mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc

@alyszaen and @whatsk-poppinhomies anyDAYYY

Reblog if reading someone else’s fanfiction has helped you get through a hard day

Pairing : Seo Changbin x F!Reader TW : reader suffers from migraines ; arguments ; i'm gonna make this one absolutely vicious, i love writing arguments ; angst of course as usual ; Word Count : 2.6k Request : @kurolils : I'll try not to give a lot of details cause it's your story not mine but I was thinking of something angsty (ofc wtf) with changbin (ofc wtf) , like the reader and him got into a really bad argument (you can decide the plot of that) and she has really bad migraines (I'm relating here) so when they're mad at each other, she doesn't want to be pushy pr clingy so she doesn't say anything to him but when the migraine gets like really bad, she calls him :) AN : migraines are so fricking bad and I hope yours don't affect you too badly :'( BUT! It definitely isn't abusive to send in another request, send in all the requests you want!!! I love it! I love your ideas! And Binnie definitely needs more attention in my ask box (and in my masterlist)!

Here comes another one, you thought to yourself as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to mentally ward off the sudden throbbing in your head, pinging right behind your eye. Just one more hour until you could get off work and go home, and then you’d see your boyfriend who always managed to make you feel better… Although you weren’t sure if the migraine actually went away or if his presence alone was enough to have you forgetting that it was there in the first place. 

“Is it bothering you again?” Your coworker asked, leaning across the counter that you had been slouched over, trying to block out anything that would only add to the pain in your head. You simply grunted in agreement, not daring to lift your head, worried that the bright fluorescent lights would only trigger the migraine to start full force once again. “It’s dead here today, you can go home if you want. I’m sure the last thing you want to deal with are customers.” 

He was right, the store was always dead at the beginning of the week, and you hated being scheduled those days. “You’re sure you’ll be okay?” You asked, your head still buried in your arms. He hummed softly in agreement, gently patting your shoulder before making his way around to the back of the counter to take your spot. “Thanks… I’ll cover one of your shifts if you ever need me to.” You said as quietly as possible, worried that your own voice meeting your ears would only worsen the throbbing in your head. 

“Don’t worry about that, just text me when you get home so I know you made it there okay.” And you nodded to his words, pulling your sunglasses out of your bag and placing them on before walking out of the store. He was always so nice, he looked out for you, and in a way, he reminded you a lot of your boyfriend, that’s why it was so easy to get so close to him. You’d have to remember to thank him when you got home, but all that was on your mind right now was the pleasant thought of going home, closing all the blinds, and waiting that extra hour for Changbin to get home so you could cuddle up next to him. 

You hadn’t realized that you had fallen asleep on the couch, but you were actually quite happy that you did. By the time Changbin walked through the front door and your eyes slowly opened, it felt like you were in the clear, the banging pain in your head had all but completely subsided. “You’re home early.” Changbin commented, noticing that all the windows had been practically blacked out by the shutters and the shades, he knew what it meant, and he kept his voice as low as possible as he kicked off his shoes and walked over to the couch where you were laying. “Did it get bad again?” 

Slowly nodding your head, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position and stretched, ready to make room for Changbin to scoot in beside you. “Jaemin saw that I was hurting and he said I could go home… Oh… Shit, I have to text him to thank him.” You muttered, pulling your phone out and unlocking it, so focused on sending out the text that you didn’t even hear Changbins sigh of annoyance. “Did you want to order something to eat and watch a movie or something?” You asked after sending out the text, placing your phone down on the coffee table and scooting over. 

“Why don’t you just ask Jaemin to come over and watch the movie with you.” Changbin mumbled, eyeing the spot that you made beside yourself for him to sit in before dropping down into the recliner behind him. “He can even take you out to a fancy dinner or something.” The thumping in your head was slowly returning, accompanied by the pounding of your heart that you could hear in your ears, although you weren’t sure if it was racing because you were upset or because you were angry. 

Changbin had never made such accusations before, and while he hadn’t flat out accused you of such a thing, you could read into his words and his tone and you knew exactly what he meant. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re just being ridiculous.” You muttered, deciding to stretch out on the couch once more since he was being that way. “Do you want to order dinner or not?” You asked, not even bothering to open your eyes as you asked the question. 

“I don’t know, maybe we should ask Jaemin what he wants just in case he comes over to check on you.” Changbin snidely retorted and your eyes rolled behind your eyelids as you let out a small huff of air through your nose. “Or maybe… maybe I should just go back to the dorms and you and Jaemin can enjoy a nice little dinner in my house watching my TV.” He sounded so cocky and truthfully it was disgusting, and it made your head hurt worse. 

“I’d argue with you, I’d give you that satisfaction if my head wasn’t already pounding… But you knew that when you came in and you continue to bicker. So maybe you should leave, or maybe I should leave. Clearly you’ve got some shit going on, and truthfully, I can’t fucking handle it right now.” You snapped, taking a deep breath and sinking deeper into the cushions of the sofa, waiting to hear the sound of the recliner moving back into place when Changbin got up, but it was silent. Was he just going to sit there and continue the foolish argument until your head felt like it was going to explode? 

The short answer… Yes. Yes he would. “If I leave you’ll just have him come over… And if you leave, you’ll just run to him. Either way you and him are getting exactly what you want, right? Why string me along if he’s so much better? Huh?” You honestly didn’t know where this was coming from, but the more he assumed, the angrier you got. 

“You know what? It’s fucking bullshit that you come in here, pretending to give a shit about me, saying shit like… like people at my work should be more understanding of what I go through… And then when there’s one fucking employee who does notice, who does understand, you jump to these batshit insane conclusions that couldn’t be further from the truth. Nothing will make you happy! My head hurts enough already, and then trying to think of ways to fucking please you only makes it hurt worse. So if you’re going to just keep coming at me, I’d rather you not… Or at least wait until I can take another ibuprofen and my headache clears up enough to handle more of your bullshit.” You snapped, your voice cracking as your throat closed up. You were on the verge of tears, although it wasn’t from being upset, it was from being angry and in pain and you just wanted to sleep it all away. 

“You know what, I’ll just go.” Changbins hands flew up in the air before slapping down against his lap as he pushed himself up to his feet. “Make sure Jaemin takes his shoes off before he walks on my carpet though.” He always had to have that last word, the last jab of the knife. If you had the energy, you would have flipped him off, but you were just exhausted. You didn’t have the energy to fight, you didn’t even want to fight, he had started it. It wasn’t until you heard the front door slam shut that you finally let yourself cry, but even that was tiresome, and you ended up just crying yourself to sleep. 

You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed, but you were happy to see that the sun had finally set, unless it was in the wee hours of the morning and it was just about to rise. That happiness quickly died when you remembered what had happened right before you fell asleep, the sudden lonely feeling and the feeling of emptiness shrouding you like a cloak as you looked around the empty apartment.

At the moment, it didn’t matter though. You knew that he was okay, he was probably at the dorms with the guys having a great time to get his mind off of what he thought was going on. Meanwhile, you still hadn’t eaten and your stomach was now growling at you to feed it. You could get through the rest of the night without him, maybe it was for the best if you both had some distance from each other as much as you hated it. 

You thought you’d be okay, you were okay, you had made it to the kitchen, you had gotten the food out of the fridge, you had managed to even start preparing it, but then, as if from out of the dark, it kicked in again. This time it was worse, or maybe it just felt worse because everything else that was going on. It truly felt like your head had been slammed into a brick wall and your vision became blurry and you felt sick and everything was just awful and you couldn’t help but cry as you dropped down to the kitchen floor, your knees curling against your chest, your hand fumbling for your phone in your pocket as you called the only person you knew could help. 

“Look, I said that I’d leave. You said you wanted space. I don’t want to argue, I think we should just talk about this-” 

“B-Binnie…” You whimpered, sniffling loudly as your body trembled, trying not to throw up, trying so hard to not focus on the pain, but trying not to focus only made it hurt worse. His end was quiet though, aside from the distant murmuring of some of the guys, although you couldn’t make it out, especially considering you were breathing so heavily from crying, the only thing you could really hear was your own whimpers and sobs. “Please come home…” 

The sound of a car door, and then the revving of an engine. “I’m coming, sweetheart, just stay where you’re at. Where are you right now? What were you doing?” It was the Binnie that you knew and loved speaking right now, but it was so different from the Changbin that had sat across from you in the living room just a little while ago. Right now you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, you simply needed him there with you, his voice soft and sweet as he talked you through the pain. 

“Kitchen… I… I was hungry…” You stammered, and then you hiccuped, the sudden jolt seemingly shifting your stomach and causing you to retch. “S-Sorry…” You whispered, and you heard Changbin sigh softly, although you weren’t sure if it sounded that way because he pulled his phone away or if he was just trying to be quiet because he knew what was going on. 

“I’ll be home shortly, and then I’ll order us something to eat. You remember what we talked about the last time this happened and I wasn’t there? You remember what I told you to do?” He was trying his best to keep your mind off of the ache, and it was working in a way, your mind now trying to clear the fog to think about what you’d do if this happened while he was on tour. He’d sit on the phone with you for hours, and if he was in the middle of a show while it happened, he had set up his voicemail just for you so you could listen to his voice to help you a little bit until he could call you back. “Just listen to me talk and…-” 

“And take deep breaths…” You sputtered out, your breaths coming a little bit too quickly right now which wasn’t helping in the nausea department. “Count to ten…” You continued, squeezing your eyes shut as tightly as you could as you tried to visualize the numbers popping up in your head while listening to him talk. He wasn’t really talking about anything in particular, his voice was just something for you to focus on, something to calm you in a way. 

It wasn’t long… or maybe it was… until Changbin came walking through the front door. The entire apartment was pitch black, but he knew that flicking on any lights would only make things worse, so he used his phone screen to shine a light across the floor until he made it to the kitchen where you were still sitting curled up against the cabinets. “Did you take your medicine today?” He asked as he squatted down on the floor next to you, his hand wiping the beads of sweat from your forehead that you didn’t even notice had built up. 

Your medicine, which you often forgot to take, especially when you were in a hurry, had just now crossed your mind now that Changbin had brought it up. “No…” You mumbled sheepishly, and he tsked his tongue, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it right now. Instead, he helped you to your feet, but once you were on them, he gently lifted you up, carrying you to the bedroom and then carefully laying you down. 

“I don’t want you to take it now… You have to take it in the morning…” He whispered, and although the room was dark, you could tell he wasn’t looking at you because you couldn’t see the moon reflected in the whites of his eyes. “I’m sorry… For the way I acted. It was uncalled for, and I got jealous… Stupidly jealous. I just… I don’t like the idea of another guy taking care of you. It kind of pisses me off…” 

“Kind of?” You questioned, and you would have laughed if the situation didn’t feel so serious. “You walked out on me… That hurt, Binnie…” You softly explained as shortly as possible. “I’d like to think that I make it perfectly clear that I love you… Only you… You’re the only person I want to take care of me…” You reached out in the darkness, your hand brushing along his back where you could feel the outline of his muscles that you mapped with your fingertips. 

“You do… You do.” He repeated himself, running his hands over his face, and you felt him shiver slightly from your touch. “I know you love me… I know you feel that way… I just… I want to be the only person that takes care of you, the only person who looks out for you. Sometimes I feel like… Like since I’m gone so much… You’ll find someone else to take care of you like I should.” 

“Bin…” You sighed out his name, pushing yourself up onto your knees and draping your arms over his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck and placing light kisses against his skin. “I don’t want anyone else to take care of me… You’re the only person that can calm me, that can soothe me. You’re the only one that can ever make me feel better. I don’t want anyone but you.” His silence let you know that he was thinking, and you didn’t want him thinking anything bad, so you pulled him to lay down, laying on top of him to trap him-although you knew he could move you if he wanted to-and pulling the blanket up around the both of you. 

“I’ll do better… I’ll be better…” He whispered, his fingers dancing along the small of your back. “I’m sorry I upset you… I’m so sorry, sweetheart…” He apologized again, placing a kiss to the top of your head before settling into his pillow again. “I’m not leaving again, I’ll stay right here with you, forever and ever.” 

Permanent Taglist : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes

I so so so genuinely needed this, km flying back home and the trip has me become really sad and frustrated and i cant even cry, im so happy this popped up

what was i made for?

pairing: skz member x reader

warnings: angst, sad, feeling empty and hopeless

✿: @hhwangsmoon @straywrds @l3visbby @armysantiny @hwajin @casualtaelyn @staybangchan @hopeladybug @midsoulz @aestheticsluut @venustired @abiaswreck @reallyloudstarlight @deathlypink @djeniryuu @rachabreathing @alyszaen @starlostseungmin @bokk-minnie @spicymooseeyes @arlojulien-nightchild-of-hades @downbadreading @moasworld @ren0325 @ketchupaeternum

note: and not doing too good mentally and needed to write something comforting. ended up using youtiful and what was i made for as inspiration <3 wanted to write something where you could imagine the member of your choosing!! I hope despite the angst that you enjoy this one

Your disappearances don’t go unnoticed by him.

He sees the way your features fall when you think he’s not looking.

He sees the frown that tugs on your lips and the tears that well in your eyes before you quickly try to blink them away.

He hears the sighs you let out when you think he’s busy and can’t hear you.

Worst of all, he hears the muffled sniffles coming from the bathroom every time you excuse yourself.

He knows you’ll talk to him when you’re ready but he can only take so much of your red nose and blood shot eyes.

After your fourth time excusing yourself to the bathroom, he finds himself waiting only inches from the door for you to come out.

Five minutes pass. Ten minutes. Then another five.

He listens with a heavy heart as you sniffle, small gasps leaving you as you try to keep yourself quiet.

He feels his own eyes begin to sting.

You were suffering.

He knows you don’t want to burden him. That’s why you disappear. That’s why you smile brightly when you return—trying to convince the both of you that you’re alright and that things will be alright.

His knuckles rasp against the door, hearing a small gasp leave you.

“J-Just a minute.”

His chest clenches at the way your voice shakes.

“Take your time. But know that you don’t have to go through this alone,” he whispers.

Your silent for a moment.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. But let me at least be with you while you go through this.”

In the next moment the door unlocks.

Your glossy eyes meet his before a heart wrenching sob leaves you. He quickly takes you into his arms, burying his face into your neck as he holds you close.

Nothing hurts more that seeing his person in pain like this.

He continues to hold your body close to his as it wracks with your sobs.

“I just feel so empty,” you cry out against his chest.

He feels his own tears leave his eyes at the pain in your voice, tightening his hold on you.

“I feel—I don’t even know what I feel or what I’m doing. Why am I even here? W-What was I even made for?”

Every utterance from you broke his heart further. He knew that if he could take away your pain that he would in a heartbeat.

“Your life has a purpose Y/n. You’re here for a reason. It’s scary to feel that way, to feel hopeless and empty and like nothing is going according to plan. But know that I’ll always be by your side. I’ll stick with you through it all. You don’t have to do this alone.”

He cries with you this time. Crumbling with you to the floor as the two of you hold each other like your lives depend on it.

And maybe they do.

“I love you,” comes in a broken whisper but he catches it.

His fingers card gently through your hair, pulling you closer to him as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you. You mean so much to me. You’re amazing as you are and one day I know you’ll see it too. I’m certain that everything will work out for you my love. One day you will be happy,” he promises.

“Everything will be okay?”

He pulls away slightly, gently wiping away your tears as he presses a wet kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Everything will be okay.”

He was certain of it and once glance let him know that you were certain of it too.

GIRL THEN RECOMMEND ME SOME KDRAMAS THAT ARE ROMANCE AND ROMCOMS PLS

Also YES YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT

ill give ua synopsis -

So basically there is this girl called as Sang Zhi, who meets her brother Sang Yan’s brother Duan Xiaxu. She starts liking him, but they have an age gap of five years. During her school, they meet ince and get separated, but during her college, they meet again when both start catching feelings

Overall its a fluff and lighthearted drama aND THE LEADS BABY CHEFS KISS

GIRL IS ME HI IM THE PRBLEM IS ME

Okay SO HAVE YOY WATCHED HIDDEN LOVE AS IN THE CDRAMA

I DUED WHEN I TELL YOU FREAKING FELL IN LOVE WHY WHY WHY ARE THE ACTIRS SO GOOD AND I NEED RECOMMENDATIONS LIKE THOSE LIKE HUH

Anyway im malfunctioning

HI LOVE

I have in fact NOT watched that yet! I've been watching some other kdramas for nowwwwww

Do you think I should watch it? Omg I'll for sure look into it!!!!

Feelin’ very Marilyn Monroe

No one asked me to, but I did it anyway.

AHHHH SAENGIL CHUKHAEYO! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

happy birthday to me!

it's been a rough journey getting to 23 but i'm still here ¡!¡!¡!

Your blog has been signed by Stray Kids! ♡

DID ALL IT TAKE WAS A TT VIDEO?!

GUYS MY ULT BIAS OFFICIALLY CHANGED

baseball love (k.s)

so, i thought of this fic idea on my way down to the academy for work! and i'm shocked that i finished it in one day 😅 its super cute, and i hope you guys like it 💓💓

feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰

"Wait," you stop in your tracks as your twin, Jisung, continues forward. "You're on the baseball team?"

He looks back at you with furrowed brows, halting his steps as well. "Yeah, I didn't tell you?" He mumbles as you catch up to him. "My friends and I tried out for it, and we made the team."

A giggle leaves your lips as you shake your head. "Han Jisung joined the baseball team? Hanji, can you even hit the ball?" You tease him, knowing some sports aren't exactly his strong suit.

Jisung scoffs before slapping your shoulder. You step away from him, wincing from the pain. "That's rude, Y/N!" He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can hit the fucking ball."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just didn't know baseball was your thing," you apologize to him, laying a hand on his forearm.

"It's okay. I guess you're right. I did have a little bit of a hard time in tryouts. I'm kinda surprised I made the team," Jisung mentions while rubbing the back of his neck.

The two of you walk up to one of the campus buildings, and Jisung opens the door for you. You thank him while continuing further inside, glancing back to make sure he's still behind you.

Once the students clear out, both of you walk side-by-side again. "So, who else made the team?" You ask him, fiddling with the straps of your backpack.

"It's me, Chan, Seungmin, Jeongin, and Hyunjin," he lists off, and the smile drops from your face when hearing Seungmin's name.

"Seungmin?" You repeat, a hint of disgust in your voice. "He plays baseball?"

He nods his head in response and glances towards you. "He's like, the best out of all of us," Jisung laughs. You involuntarily roll your eyes. "You know, you should be nicer to him."

"Me!? Hanji, I'm always nice to him," you scoff, growing upset. "It's him. He's always fucking picking on me and saying mean shit."

"That's just how he is, Y/N. I've mentioned that before," he sighs, bringing a hand to his face. "He doesn't do it to be malicious."

You cast your gaze to the floor. "Could've fooled me," you mumble quietly, adjusting the bag on your back. "I gotta get to class. I'll see you later."

"Come to practice tonight!" Jisung almost yells as you walk away from him.

You wince and release a small hiss. "I'll see what I can do, Hanji," you tell him while rounding the corner.

-

"I can not believe he asked me to go to practice," you sigh to your best friend, Luna. "I have never expressed any interest in the sport. Especially now that Seungmin's on the team."

Luna hums in response as the two of you sit down at one of the empty tables. "Well, he seems pretty excited about it. Plus, you're his sister. Obviously, he wants your support," she states while shrugging her shoulders.

You groan, slamming your head against the wooden table. "I hate that you're right," you mumble before groaning again. "Will you come with me? It'll be more bearable if you're there."

"Yeah, I'll go!" She grins at you. "By chance… will Chan be there?"

A smirk comes to your lips, and you lift your head slowly. "Hanji did say he made the team, so I would assume," you mention, tilting your head to the side a bit. "Does someone have a crush?"

Luna releases a scoff, and she shakes her head at you. "What? No, no, I was just curious," she laughs nervously. "I remembered you said that he got onto the team."

"Good lie," you laugh loudly, quickly covering your mouth after.

"Oh, please," Luna rolls her eyes. "I could say the same for you with Seungmin."

You give her a blank look. "You're kidding, right?" You ask her, an eyebrow raised. "I can't fucking stand the kid."

"You're always bringing him up in conversation," she points out while raising her brow. "Like, the other day. I told you about my singing lessons, and you literally brought up Seungmin."

"He's in your class. It was bound to come up," you shrug, dismissing the example. "I don't like Seungmin. End of discussion."

Luna laughs, and she shakes her head. "Okay, whatever you say, honey."

You grumble to yourself and glance towards the little café. "I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?" You ask her while standing up from your chair.

"Yeah, I'll have my usual," she tells you.

You nod your head and make your way over towards the short line. You cross your arms over your chest as you look over the menu. The person in front of you takes a couple of steps forward, and you follow suit.

"Y/N," a familiar voice calls out your name, causing you to turn your head. Seungmin stands behind you with a smirk on his lips, waving at you.

You bite the inside of your cheek, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. "Seungmin," you mumble before turning back around, hoping he'll stop talking to you.

"Jisung says you're coming to our practice tonight," he mentions, taking a few steps closer to you.

"No, I'm not," you say out of spite.

Seungmin chuckles and rests his arms on your shoulders. "Luna also said you are," he whispers into your ear.

You close your eyes and let out a deep breath. "Okay, and so what if I do? I'm going for Jisung," you sternly tell him, shrugging his arms off of you.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, idiot," you reassure him while stepping up to the cashier. You swiftly tell her your order along with Luna's. You pull out your wallet to pay when Seungmin runs into you.

"Add an iced americano, please," he interrupts you, and he places his hands over yours, stopping you from paying.

"What are you doing?" You ask him with narrowed eyes.

Seungmin glances down at you. "I'm paying. What does it look like?"

You scoff and turn away from him. "Unbelievable," you mumble while standing in front of the pick-up counter.

"Oh, come on," Seungmin draws out, bending slightly to look you in the eyes. "I just bought your drinks. A thank you would suffice."

"I didn't ask you to pay for it, Seungmin," you spit. The barista places yours and Luna's drink down, and you quickly grab them before walking back to your table.

Seungmin watches you walk away from him, releasing a tiny huff. "I would say she's not a fan of you," another barista mentions to him, causing him to glance towards the employee.

"Yeah, I gathered that, thanks," he deadpans before taking his coffee.

-

You sit on the bleachers with Luna. Your arms are crossed over your chest as you send daggers Seungmin's way.

As soon as the two of you showed up, he sought out the need to annoy you. Every time you made eye contact with him, he'd give you his stupid smirk. And each time, you'd look away with an eye roll.

"Chan looks so good," Luna sighs to herself, not realizing you could hear her.

"He does look good, I agree," you snicker, glancing towards the younger woman.

You watch her eyes widen, her gaze quickly meeting yours. "Shit, I mean -"

"You can't lie your way out of this one, ma'am. Just admit that you like him," you giggle. "Maybe I can have Hanji put in a good word for you."

She blushes at your offer before looking back towards the field. "Would he really do it?" She asks in a whisper.

"Yeah, of course. He'd do anything for his little sister and her best friend," you wink while standing up.

"Wait, now!?" She panics as you make your way down the bleachers. "Y/N!"

You wave her off and make your way towards the dugout. You peek your head around the corner, looking for your twin brother. "Hyunjin," you call out his friend's name, gaining the tall man's attention. "Have you seen Hanji?"

"He's talking to Seungmin in the other dugout," he mentions, and you nod your head.

You slowly walk towards the other dugout, hoping they'll be done conversing by the time you get there. You peek your head around the corner at the same time as Seungmin turns the corner.

You bump into him and lose your footing. A gasp leaves your lips as you begin to fall back. Seungmin's hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you from falling onto your ass. His free hand finds a place on your waist after he pulls you into him.

"Shit, you okay?" He asks, his brown eyes meeting yours. "I didn't see you."

"I-I'm okay," you stutter, expecting something sarcastic to come from his mouth. "I shouldn't have peeked around."

Seungmin chuckles while dropping both hands to his sides. "It's okay. Just be careful," he mentions before walking away from you.

What just happened? You think to yourself, extremely surprised that he was nice. You shake your head and walk further into the dugout, finding Jisung sitting on the bench.

"Hey, loser," you smile, sitting down beside him. He doesn't say anything, and the smile slips from your lips. "Hanji, what's wrong?"

"I-I made a fool of myself," he whispers, a lone tear slipping down his cheek. "The rest of the team laughed at me. So, I'm just…"

"What the fuck," you grow angry, standing from your seat. "We'll see who has the last laugh."

Jisung grabs a hold of your arm, stopping you from doing anything. "It's okay, Y/N. I just talked to Seungmin about it, and he said he'll mention something," he mentions, his round eyes meeting yours. "Can you just sit with me for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course," you mumble, sitting back down. You wrap an arm around his shoulder as the two of you sit in silence. "I'm sorry I made fun of you."

Your brother laughs and shakes his head. "It's okay. I knew you didn't mean it. I just wanted to try and fit in," Jisung sighs, resting his head against the concrete wall.

"Hanji, you should always be yourself. The guys love you just as you are. I love you just as you are," you reassure him. "Don't try to be like the other scumbags. It's not worth it."

Jisung takes your words in, nodding his head after a minute of silence. "Can you do me a favor?" He asks, turning his head towards you. You nod your head, waiting for him to continue. "Can you get along with Seungmin? I would really love for all of us to get dinner after."

"I'll try my best," you cave in, wanting nothing more than to make your brother happy. "Is it okay if Luna comes? I'm trying to hook her up with Channie."

"Oh my god, uh, yes. I've been trying to get him to talk to her!" He slaps your arm out of excitement.

You gasp, widening your eyes. "No fucking way! He likes her!?" You ask in a hushed whisper, not wanting to be too loud.

Jisung nods his head vigorously. "Yes, he does! The boy is fucking smitten," he laughs. "Let's go play matchmaker!"

-

You shiver, not realizing it was supposed to be chilly. You glance around, trying to find your brother before the first game of the season starts.

It's been a few weeks since you went to their practice. Not only have you been hanging out with his friends more, but you and Seungmin have gotten a little closer.

You find Luna talking to Chan, a smile coming to your lips as his hand snakes around her waist. He whispers something into her ear, making the shorter woman giggle.

"I'm so glad the matchmaking worked," you grin, walking towards the school doors.

You walk further into the building, making your way to the boys' locker room. You crack the door open before calling out Jisung's name.

"No one's in there," Seungmin's voice mentions, causing you to jump.

You whip around and place a hand on your heart. "Jesus, Seungmin," you mutter. "You scared the shit out of me."

He laughs while adjusting the baseball cap on his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm surprised you didn't hear me. The cleats are pretty loud," Seungmin motions to his shoes, both of you glancing down at his feet.

"Sorry, I'm preoccupied," you chuckle, rubbing one of your arms. "Do you know if Hanji's hoodie is in here? I didn't bring a jacket."

Seungmin raises a brow. "You didn't bring a jacket with you? Our games are at night, Y/N," he sighs before going into the locker room. He comes back out almost instantly, pushing a gray hoodie into your hands.

"This isn't Hanji's," you trail off, glancing up at him through your lashes.

"I know. It's mine," he bluntly states, giving you a small smile. "Put it on. I gotta get going."

He walks away from you as you look dumbfounded. He's letting me wear his hoodie? You gently bite your lip and slip the article of clothing on. You inhale the scent of his cologne, and it makes your heart flutter.

You slip your hands into the pocket before making your way back to the bleachers. You find Luna pretty quickly and make your way to her.

"Who's hoodie is that?" She asks you, her eyes dancing between your face and the hoodie.

"Oh, it's Seungmin's," you blush, sitting down beside her.

She lets out a loud gasp, capturing the attention of people around you. "No fucking way," she grins. "You like Seungmin."

"Oh, fuck off," you roll your eyes, looking away from her. You see Seungmin standing on the pitcher's mound, winding his arm up before the game starts. He laughs at something Hanji says, his smile making your stomach flip. "Okay, maybe I do."

Luna smacks your arm. "Girl, go for it. Please go for it. You two would be so fucking cute," she groans, tilting her head back.

"I don't know, maybe," you mumble, keeping your eyes on Seungmin.

The first batter on the opposite team steps onto the field, signaling that the game is starting. Hushed conversations continue to happen around you as Seungmin throws the first pitch.

You cheer a little inside when the batter swings and misses. "Strike," the umpire yells loud enough for everyone to hear. A small group of cheers filled the air.

Hanji throws the ball back to Seungmin before crouching down again. Your fingers play with the hem of his hoodie you're wearing. He throws the ball again, only this time the batter hits it head on.

The ball drives straight into Seungmin's back, hitting him at full speed. Everyone sitting around you gasps as he collapses to the ground, clutching his lower back.

"Seungmin!" You yell, sprinting up from your seat. You tumble down the bleachers as graceful as you can, your hands colliding with the metal fence afterward.

Your twin runs up to him as well as his other teammates. You stand on your toes, trying to see how he's doing. You breathe heavily as Chan and Hyunjin help him up from the ground.

You follow them inside the school, bursting through the locker room doors. Chan's eyes meet yours first. "Y/N, you can't be -"

"I don't care," you cut him off, moving around the wall of lockers to see Seungmin. He's lying on his stomach, the back of his jersey is lifted, and you can see the welt the ball left behind. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Seungmin chuckles and meets your gaze. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Hyunjin went to grab an ice pack," he reassures you, watching you crouch beside him.

You nod your head, resting your arms against your thighs. "It's pretty shitty to be out so quickly," you try to joke with him, not wanting to see him in pain. "You're kind of a shit player."

He rolls his eyes at you, a laugh leaving his lips. "And here I thought we were getting intimate," Seungmin smirks before releasing a wince.

You rest an arm on his back, feeling his warm skin against your fingertips. "Let me go see what's taking Hyunjin so long," you mention and attempt to stand up.

Seungmin stops you from leaving, lacing his fingers with yours. "Stay with me," he whispers.

"Okay," you whisper back, gently falling to your knees.

His eyes are fixed on your conjoined hands, watching your thumb stroke his skin. "I wanna take you out somewhere," Seungmin mentions, flicking his gaze up to you. "If you'll let me."

You nod your head without hesitation, bringing your free hand to his face. "I would love to, Seungmin," you tell him softly, stroking his cheek.

The brunette moves to sit up, and you attempt to stop him. He pushes your hands away before placing both of his hands on your cheeks. Your breath hitches in your throat as he leans in close, his breath fanning your face.

Your eyes flutter shut when his nose brushes against yours. Your stomach does more flips as Seungmin connects his lips with yours. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently combing your fingers through it, slowly moving your lips on his.

"Okay, Seungmin, I got -" Hyunjin starts but quickly cuts himself off. The two of you pull away from each other and glance towards Hyunjin. His eyes are wide, and his lips are parted in shock. "I-I'm sorry."

You chuckle and shake your head. You stand up straight before taking the ice pack from Hyunjin. "I'll take it from here," you tell him, and he nods his head.

"Wear protection," he whispers to you before booking it out of the locker room.

A blush covers your cheeks as your grip on the pack tightens. "What did he say to you?" Seungmin asks, causing you to twirl around.

"Nothing," you squeak. You walk back over to him and gently push him back down onto his stomach.

You stand above his lower body and push up the black and white jersey. You place the ice pack on the welt, earning a hiss from Seungmin.

"Sorry," you apologize, trailing your fingertips up his spine. "Let me buy dinner after."

"No," he answers immediately.

You click your tongue, hating how stubborn he can be. "Let me treat you tonight, and then you can treat me on the next date," you try to negotiate, leaning forward to look him in the eyes.

"Promise?"

You giggle, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I promise."

~

tagging: @thewxntersoldier @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @foxinnie8 @moon0fthenight