Like Being Haunted By The Ghosts Of My History That I've Neglected, Like Accepting Discrimination As

like being haunted by the ghosts of my history that i've neglected, like accepting discrimination as a rite of passage, like believing that to survive, you must assimilate and stay silent.

it is looking at the newspaper and the number of killings, and flipping the page to absorb material more lighthearted. it is dehumanizing victims to simple entities rather than remembering their names, conveniently forgetting and moving on like such an event never happened in the first place. it is remaining silent and internalizing all this pressure and pain, waiting for someone else to speak out about it first in order to feel relief.

it is fitting yourself into a mold that has been exploited and will be. a blind belief that you'll make it out somehow, that throwing away your culture, your language, your accent, is worth it, when it's not. it is erasing a whole history of trauma and colonization because it is simply not talked about, simply erased.

it is forgetting your identity and then having such a sense of loss that you can't move on.

What does your regret taste like?

Trick or treat! 🎃

treat! 🎃

the current wip i'm working on features gumiho's, or nine-tailed foxes. they're essentially shape-shifting creatures (foxes) that need to eat the liver of 1000 people in order to become immortal.

they do so by passing a bead and gaining your energy when kissing you, which they can because they have this allure that makes you fall under their spell. but if a human obtains this bead, they can have the knowledge of the world, and of all living things.

thanks for the ask! xx

trick or treat asks/event here

i was like ya i’m gonna do nanowrimo and then i didn’t do nanowrimo

but also I got to publish this last kinktober fic even if it’s November 3rd 🫢😔😶

do we think having chapter 2 of hoax is possible by the end of october

THESE VIBES THESE MAIN CHARACTER VIBES

KIM TAE-RI as GO AE-SHIN Mr. Sunshine (2018)

summary | ari takes care of you when you're sick dom!ari levinson x sick!reader | kinktober 2022

for more drabbles: [#kinktober 2022] tag!

warnings | kinda fluffy, actually. just ari taking charge + reader falling into subspace??

buy me a kofi! drabble requests/asks! main!

CONT.

“Ari—”

“I got it,” the man in front of you grunts, moving towards the kitchen. Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. 

Great. Not like you ruined the friendship before it began—what friendship is there between the two of you anyways? I mean, it has been a few years since the two of you first met, and the man in front of you couldn’t stop glaring and turning quiet whenever he was around you. Your friend Natasha introduced the two of you, her saying that this was her best friend. Since then, he was pretty much stuck with you. 

Like now, with you being sick, and him coming over to take care of you since Natasha asked—practically begged—him to.

And you’ve never been more uncomfortable sitting in silence. 

For one, he’s intimidating. Plus, though you’ll never admit it, you seem to melt around him. Since he shoved the cocky football player attempting to get handsy with you in college, you felt… safe. Around him. And shy. And everything else. 

Like you knew that he would take care of you no matter what. The reassurance that you can depend on him. 

“Sorry,” you murmur when he brings you a glass of water. The man stares at you for a second, then shakes his head. 

“Stop apologizing.”

The sorry is stuck in your throat again, so you just nod instead. Ari sighs—you’re sure you’re an annoyance to him. Who would sign up to take care of someone who was younger than you and could barely form coherent sentences? There were thousands of girls wanting his attention. 

Your grip on the cup loosens, when he places it on the table, crouching in front of the sofa. His hands are on either side of your thighs, as he stares up at you. Observing you. Heat crawls up your neck, and you fight the urge to bury your head in the blankets. 

“Do you need anything else?” The words are surprisingly softer than expected. 

“You can go,” you blurt. “I don’t want to hold you up if you have anything.”

He does—since he’s the CEO. It’s ridiculous that he’s putting back meetings for you. 

“I’m staying,” his voice is firm. “Until you get better.”

“I’m feeling okay,” you squeak, and attempt to get up. “I can search the fridge to find something to make for dinner.” 

“Baby.”

You freeze at the nickname that leaves his mouth. Isn’t that… for lovers? 

It must have the effect he intended, though, because Ari gently places you back on the sofa, pulling the blankets around you. But this time, he places himself below you, so that you’re straddling his thighs, and that your chests are touching. In order to steady yourself, your fingers splay across his chest, and he sucks in a tense breath. You shiver—not from the cold. The whole time, he’s staring at you, eyes hooded. 

And you can’t discern whether it’s embarrassment or nerves—maybe both—but you bury your face in the crook of his neck: your safe spot. Whether you’re watching scary movies or forced to go to another party with Natasha, that area has been a haven for you, blocking out your surroundings. 

It’s not until now that you realize how… odd this is. How this is something that friends don’t do. 

Except you don’t know if you care. Because you’re falling into some headspace, where you can let all responsibilities go and have Ari handle it—he always does. In fact, you want Ari to take charge and tell you what to do. 

You feel his hand, big enough to engulf yours, come to rest on your hip. You squirm when his thumb rubs circles on your skin, an arm snaking around your waist to press you closer together. 

“I’ll take care of it. Don’t lift a finger—you understand me?”