Thank You For Reaffirming To Me That It Makes Other People Really Uncomfortable When You Are Feeling

thank you for reaffirming to me that it makes other people really uncomfortable when you are feeling down and need support

I'm sorry Anonymous Individual, your card declined. It appears you've maxed out the balance. Would you like to try another?

I hate Instagram

Every social media platform has muppets like these. I usually just report their comments as spam and false information then block them.

Honestly, if you get these kinds of comments on any of your posts, don't engage. Literally just delete them and block the commenter. They're looking for an argument. They're looking for an opportunity. They want to grandstand and virtue signal. Just don't let them. Trap them in their own little sandbox where they only have each other to sound off against.

Virtue signalling becomes "bad" when it becomes weaponised or used in place of actual activism. There's absolutely nothing wrong with signalling your stances, virtues and morals to other people or expressing support for something or someone.

Unfortunately, a lot of people use virtue signalling as a means of pressure, targeting, and other unpleasant behaviors.

For example; "if you don't use this Facebook profile frame you're clearly a horrible person who doesn't give a fuck about veterans and can't be bothered to do one tiny thing to show support!"

Or; "if you're too lazy to tell everyone all the time that you're not a pedophile I'm going to automatically assume you're a pedophile."

When people use virtue signalling to harass others, apply pressure to them to conform to expectations or to be awarded basic decency is when virtue signalling becomes something that is harmful rather than something that is beneficial.

Virtue signalling in terms of things like profile frames and window stickers is a fun, sweet way of showing support and raising awareness, but it isn't a moral obligation nor is it paramount activism. Especially when it becomes a consistent expectation that you absolutely must participate in every single public signalling trend or be condemned.

Am I the only person who doesn’t think ‘virtue signaling’ is inherently bad/useless? That post talking about FB frames is so bizarre to me because to me that’s like. Walking past a business with a rainbow flag flying. That was genuinely incredibly important to me as a terrified closeted teen! And someone having a Facebook frame for the same reasons is like - hey that’s one person who doesn’t want me to change or die! I don’t think that’s ’doing nothing’.

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Can I steal that victim card picture that is so funny

By all means, its just a free-use image off the internet. There are plenty of them and plenty of memes available on the same basis.

I had to check myself recently because I'm so used to being in discord servers with vent channels, that when I ended up joining one *without* a vent channel, I realized Holy shit, where can I go to complain about the day-to-day things that piss me off? And I thought of your post & took a step back, like You know what? I can complain on my own time, on my own blog, or in private to a close friend who offers to listen. I can just let this server be fun.

Anyway, I think people are still furious over your post because (and forgive me if someone's said this before) the availability and reach of the internet has conditioned ppl to believe that it's acceptable/required/encouraged to vent in any space, at any time, to anyone, and that the audience should willingly receive it. It's like a form of brainwashing.

Honestly, the single major response I've gotten is people screaming that I'm an evil racist white bitch oppressing people of color because I'm asking them not to talk about genocide or police brutality in fandom spaces.

There is a huge, huge difference between stopping someone who is actually, actively being racist within a public space and asking people not to force others to constantly engage with and expose themselves to the horrors of the world, especially in spaces where they have retreated specifically to recover from those things.

Its basically like going to a wellness and recovery retreat and forcing everyone there to watch the news and read articles and watch videos about world horrors.

Almost everyone in a Discord server has profiles on other social medias. Everyone on the internet sees, willingly or not, what is happening in the world right now. We all know these things happen. We are not blind. We are not ignoring it.

When I go onto Discord and go into my silly little fandom servers, its after I've spent an hour on Tumblr on my main blog reblogging aid posts. Circulating information. Doing my best to connect people to people who can help them. Its after I've spent my lunch break at work listening to my colleagues talking about the latest knifing or child kidnapping. Its after checking Snapchat only to see headlines like MAN BRUTALLY STABS DOG IN PUBLIC PARK.

When I go into those servers, its because I need to get away from all of that. I need to have that time away where I can recover and recharge or I simply won't go online because I know there is absolutely nowhere online where I can simply enjoy something without other people grabbing me by the head and forcing me to look elsewhere at things that are horrific and upsetting.

And the thing about those spaces is they themselves need protection and moderation in order to remain safe. And you know what that means?

It means preventing racism and homophobia. It means if someone is being unpleasant, they get shut down. If someone is being bigoted, they get removed. Because they are making that space unsafe.

Literally nobody except these idiots screaming about racism are suggesting that we just outright allow racism to keep happening.

One time I was in an anti space because I was indoctrinated and also kind of... forgot... that I'd written incest in the past, I'd accidentally made friends with someone who was also friends with people I suspected hated me and what I SHOULD have done is blocked that bitch, but I was younger and stupid and thought maybe it was possible to work it out.

Anyway you may have already guessed that someone dug up my years old incest works that I'd completely forgotten existed, showed my friend, and I ended up completely blindsided and no one believed me about me not remembering them at all. Just assumed I was lying the whole time.

People as a whole have started this new habit of digging up things that happened years ago as proof that someone in a bad person in the present, or as justification for crucifying them in the present, and frankly its got to stop.

I've done some real shit things in my past. I did, I'll fully admit it. When I was in my worst headspace amidst an abusive relationship I became a person I honestly hope to god I never even come close to being again, but I've grown from that. I'm no longer that person and I no longer do those things.

They do not define who I am today. And the same thing goes for other people. I hate seeing ridiculous Daily Mail articles where they're proclaiming that celebrities are racist because they took a mud bath nine years ago on a vacation or something.

"X Celebrity is a horrible bully?!"

And then its literally just because they called someone annoying as a child. Its ridiculous. I've met people in real life and had other people warn me about them because of things they did literal decades ago.

People are always screaming about working on yourself, improving, being a better person, ect, but people can't actually achieve that when you're anchoring them to the things they've done in the past. People can't grow if you're weighing them down.