That One Safe Space Post - Tumblr Posts
@through-thick-and-quinn
That's so many words for; "I didn't read a fucking thing this person said and aren't capable of media literacy and critical thinking!"
I had to check myself recently because I'm so used to being in discord servers with vent channels, that when I ended up joining one *without* a vent channel, I realized Holy shit, where can I go to complain about the day-to-day things that piss me off? And I thought of your post & took a step back, like You know what? I can complain on my own time, on my own blog, or in private to a close friend who offers to listen. I can just let this server be fun.
Anyway, I think people are still furious over your post because (and forgive me if someone's said this before) the availability and reach of the internet has conditioned ppl to believe that it's acceptable/required/encouraged to vent in any space, at any time, to anyone, and that the audience should willingly receive it. It's like a form of brainwashing.
Honestly, the single major response I've gotten is people screaming that I'm an evil racist white bitch oppressing people of color because I'm asking them not to talk about genocide or police brutality in fandom spaces.
There is a huge, huge difference between stopping someone who is actually, actively being racist within a public space and asking people not to force others to constantly engage with and expose themselves to the horrors of the world, especially in spaces where they have retreated specifically to recover from those things.
Its basically like going to a wellness and recovery retreat and forcing everyone there to watch the news and read articles and watch videos about world horrors.
Almost everyone in a Discord server has profiles on other social medias. Everyone on the internet sees, willingly or not, what is happening in the world right now. We all know these things happen. We are not blind. We are not ignoring it.
When I go onto Discord and go into my silly little fandom servers, its after I've spent an hour on Tumblr on my main blog reblogging aid posts. Circulating information. Doing my best to connect people to people who can help them. Its after I've spent my lunch break at work listening to my colleagues talking about the latest knifing or child kidnapping. Its after checking Snapchat only to see headlines like MAN BRUTALLY STABS DOG IN PUBLIC PARK.
When I go into those servers, its because I need to get away from all of that. I need to have that time away where I can recover and recharge or I simply won't go online because I know there is absolutely nowhere online where I can simply enjoy something without other people grabbing me by the head and forcing me to look elsewhere at things that are horrific and upsetting.
And the thing about those spaces is they themselves need protection and moderation in order to remain safe. And you know what that means?
It means preventing racism and homophobia. It means if someone is being unpleasant, they get shut down. If someone is being bigoted, they get removed. Because they are making that space unsafe.
Literally nobody except these idiots screaming about racism are suggesting that we just outright allow racism to keep happening.
thank you for reaffirming to me that it makes other people really uncomfortable when you are feeling down and need support
I'm sorry Anonymous Individual, your card declined. It appears you've maxed out the balance. Would you like to try another?
Or. Y'know. You can just let people rest without also turning their need for emotional and mental respite into a massive guilt trip about activism. Again.
Its a nice sentiment, it really is, but that isn't actually rest. Reducing people's privilege and right to rest and enjoyment back down to activism and the horrors of the world literally just voids the entire purpose and nature of rest and enjoyment.
I can assure you that when I'm in those political spaces I'm already thinking about people's rights and the things I have that others do not. I do not need you dangling my respite over my head like an unreachable carrot just to make me keep running on the wheel.
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
OP is also getting raked over hot coals for being a racist. I wouldn't worry about it.
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
"Hey guys! Just to remind you that although its important to stay up to date on current events and be politically informed, its also important to have spaces where you can decompress and get away from all the upsetting things for your own health and wellbeing. This is one of those space, so please keep in mind our rules and help this space remain safe and enjoyable for everyone."
"Thank you for helping to keep people aware and informed, but please bear in mind that just as its important to be those things, its also important to have time to decompress and allow yourselves (and others) to process what we've learned and relax and recover. In order to let that happen we do have a rule about not bringing [insert topic violation] into this space. Spaces where people are truly safe to let down their guard and simply exist are few and we take preserving ours seriously."
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
Anyway.
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
By the way if you send me snot-nosed massive rants bending over ass backwards and tying yourself into knots to create the most victimised "exception" to that one safe space post I wrote, you're just straight up getting blocked.
I'll read the first few lines up until it becomes apparent what you've sent and then I'm skipping over all 14 paragraphs to the end to hit BLOCK.
Stop wasting your time. Stop wasting mine. I don't care what you have to say and nobody else is going to see your white knighting.
(The person who sent me the ask is blocked so won't see this but for future reference to the rest of you.)
Hey. Just wanted to give you some anon love and support. Sorry people insist on taking everything in bad faith. Your post about vent channels and needing space away from the horrors of reality was spot on. The 'don't you dare look away' mentality has done immeasurable damage to my mental health over the years, and it pisses me off that it's still so prevalent. Thanks for speaking out in support of people taking care of their mental health. It's greatly appreciated. <3
People will always take something in bad faith, for better or worse the world isn't a hivemind. I always look at them as opportunities to educate—and that even if my words don't reach that individual, hopefully they may yet reach someone else.
As I've taken to saying; if you stand too close to the flames you'll choke on the smoke.
Everyone needs respite. Everyone needs spaces which are disallowing of trauma. Everyone loves to talk about how important mental health is until you point out that an individual's mental health takes precedence over their "obligation" to be an activist on behalf of the whole world.
We all need respite. We can't put out fires if we're burning alive ourselves. Its basic humanity.
Ahem.
You don't have to share those spaces. Bigotry is still bigotry. The original point was in absolutely no way saying "you have to share spaces with bigots" and if that's what you took from it honestly; that's a you issue.
"Depending on the server, vent channels could be useful." Sure. Just not in spaces where, as per my post, they are not welcome. Saying vent spaces can be useful is completely irrelevant to my point that spaces wherein they are barred are just as useful and important.
Have a day.
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.
Me: Hey, so, actually, for the sake of me not killing myself I would actually love spaces where I can play Animal Crossing or share baking recipes or talk about Captain America showing hole for Iron Man without people sending videos of dead children and police brutality and trauma-dumping their personal issues on me. I also think its important over-all for these spaces to exist and be accessible and protected. Random Idiots Online: So you're a white-privileged racist? You know everything is political, right? You want us to just co-exist with bigots? What about my uncle's daughter's best friend's queer goldish?? What about people being blatantly transphobic in the chat? You're just going to say you hate all black people like that? White pig.
What you saying is fuck what they saying 👊🏽
Fuck forced activism. Fuck forced exhaustion. Fuck forced burnout. Fuck guilt tripping. Fuck performative virtue signalling. Fuck performative suffering.
Sending good thoughts to you, Tea. The fact that *that post* is still causing you problems is insane. Nobody lets anything go, it seems.
Me every time I log on and see the 99+ notification
On the plus hand, the idiots are thinning themselves out. They keep sending me hate mail which gets instantly blocked, so really they're just shooting themselves in the foot.
https://www.tumblr.com/myfandomrealitea/755278666189160448/httpswwwtumblrcommyfandomrealitea75092172920?source=share
not that it matters but i think the mic emoji was trying to be like the interview handing over the mic rather than mic drop personally I think we should do a poll XD
I will cede to the results.
(Either way it was still stupid.)
I just saw that reblog from through-thick-and-quinn and I have to wonder, gee, if it's that bad to wake up every day stressed to the pits, wouldn't they NOT want people everywhere else to feel like that? Awareness =/= getting treated like you can't escape stressful things, which to understate, is technically the same unfortunate situation some groups are in right now. No, nowhere near the same magnitude, only the former really involves the chance of imminent death and such, but still stressful. Sentence still applies.
Honestly you could scroll through any of the reblogs and replies and tags on that post and wonder how the fuck some of those people haven't dropped dead from stress and fear yet.
Frankly if I forced myself to live the way some of those people are, I'd have been institutionalized a long time ago. And that's not a commented intended disrespectfully at anyone's genuine attempts to be a good person or make a change; its an honest to god observation.
I cannot imagine a life where I wake up every single day and force myself to spend almost every waking moment entrenched in war and dead bodies and human trafficking and starving animals and pollution and every other world and social issue that is festering at any given moment.
I really, really can't.
antis apparently hate RPF but they sure like to make up shit about you and put that where everyone can see, sometimes directly in your inbox
New AO3 fandom category: RPH* About Sephiroth
*Real Person Hating
It does make me giggle when I see anon hate mail and the people brave enough to at least say it to my 'face' in reblogs and replies. Some people have jumped through the wildest fucking hoops making assumptions and crafting this weird DC-style villain version of me.
The actual reality is I'm sat here scrolling through my ask box after making some donations to local food banks and animal shelters while nibbling on the bread I baked earlier and listening to an educational podcast about space.
I'm going to start calling the person they envision Poisoned Tea or something.
Antiroth?
Sephicrime?
on the topic of your post about having politics-free spaces, it reminds me of how i can't seem to get away from political posts even on my blog where i solely follow age regression content. you know, the thing largely triggered by trauma that puts you into a child like state of mind.
it's just insane to me to see people say that running an agere blog isn't an excuse to not talk about politics. considering it's a side of tumblr people go on while being in the mental space of a child, i think it absolutely is a good reason to not post or interact with politics.
literally even child friendly safe spaces can't just leave real world horrors out of it. it's insane.
I've seen people in the comments of food blogs and knitting blogs spamming things like FREE PALESTINE OR DIE and asking the blog owner what they're doing to use their platform to aid in Ukraine's efforts and its like.
Please. Just let people fucking breathe. What is that actually accomplishing. In the time it took you to bully one person over your assumed inaction you could've actually made a difference through donating, sharing resources, ect.
I've said it before but I'll say it again; we are so far removed from what it actually activism right now its ridiculous. Bullying people for wanting to learn how to make bread instead of sitting glued to news broadcasts watching people die is fucking insane.
I saw your post on no politics in fandom spaces and I let out a long sigh. Because I agree. We really need spaces that are free from real world politics. Like sure, art has politics, but don't debate it there. Or like, tag it. I donno. I just really want a fandom space that has 0 current politics. Because it's tiring and ruins fandoms when it becomes peppered with political landmines.
There are thousands of people on that post who are int he same boat as you, anon. The world is burning and we're all breathing in the smoke and a lot of us just want a breath of fresh air.
Its why I highly recommend taking the time and effort to really, really curate your online space and find spaces which fit what you need and want. Scour Discord servers. Trawl blogs until you find ones that fit what you want to see. Make friends who share the same needs and wants.
Its a lot of effort in the beginning, but it gets easier as you get better at learning how to find and identify what you want and curate your space so its more accessible to you. And it really, really pays off in the long run.