I Know There's A Lot Of Advice For Handling Things Like Depression And Its So Fucking Easy For People

I know there's a lot of advice for handling things like depression and its so fucking easy for people to say "just do this and you'll feel better!" and I hate that, I fucking despise it, but I'm also gonna throw in my two cents about what is personally helping me get out of bed some days and genuinely, not kill myself.

Its taking care of nature.

Seriously. It sounds stupid and some days it feels stupid, but I put up bird feeders because I live in a semi-rural area where human activity is decimating the local bird population and options for safe feeding. So I put up bird feeders. And now I have like 83 different birds flocking to my garden on the daily and screaming at my window if the feeders are empty. And I've seen generations of baby birds brought to my garden by their parents because this is where the food is.

And I researched what plants and flowers were native to my area and I spent like $5 on a few different seed packets and sprinkled them around the grass and the sad empty flowerbeds and the lawn because the bees have nothing to eat and that's awful and it turns out wildflowers will fucking GROW the moment you look away, but now every spring and summer my lawn is a pretty little multi-colored bug haven.

And I've even gotten the chance to save a few little bug lives because of it. I've taken in cold-shocked bees and given them a warm little tupperware to recover in. I've fed bugs sugar water to get their energy back to take their food home. I've given dying bugs a sheltered, safe place to spend their last moments.

I planted a veggie garden. And I know I'm very lucky in that I have the space to do that, but also, you can grow a lot of things indoors. My friend has literally the smallest apartment you can imagine but she grows chives in her bathroom and grows five radishes at a time in a pot in the kitchen. Literally five. But it makes her so happy every single time she pulls them up or trots off to the bathroom to snip some chives.

I pick trash up every two weeks. The pick stick was like $4 online and I just put the bag out with my bi-weekly trash pick-up and its disgusting but but nobody else is gonna do it and I've only got finite time on this earth. If nobody else is going to pick up that can, I will. Because some innocent wild animal doesn't deserve to get hurt by human ignorance, and I deserve to walk home and see pretty flourishing nature instead of depressing discarded trash like I feel like most days.

I've left water out for the wildlife and watched hedgehogs, local dogs on their walks, squirrels and all sorts stop by to take a drink, because humans are fucking selfish and we're making something as basic as water so hard to access for anyone but ourselves, but I can fix a little bit of that just by putting out a bowl. Sometimes I don't even have to remember to fill it because the rain will fill it for me, and its kind of like nature's way of saying "you're helping me so I'm going to help you out too." Which is neat.

Like most days I do not want to be living on this earth but my god earth did not get a choice about us living here, and we're ruining it, and it actually feels so good to help stop and un-do a little bit of that destruction.

And you don't even have to try everything I do. If the only thing you've got the spoons to do is buy one bird feeder and you only remember to fill it once a month, its still something. That once a month could mean the difference between starvation and a full belly to a bird.

Again, none of this is obligatory and I'm not saying at all this is some magical cure for depression, but personally these things are things which are helping me slowly find things to keep getting out of bed for and things to feel a sense of self worth and satisfaction over. I feel better both in and about myself when I feed the birds, when I see the bugs in the garden, when I pick up the trash.

If its something you haven't considered yet, it might be worth a try.

Here's a tea you deserve it 🍵

very very appreciated

Sending good thoughts to you, Tea. The fact that *that post* is still causing you problems is insane. Nobody lets anything go, it seems.

Me every time I log on and see the 99+ notification

On the plus hand, the idiots are thinning themselves out. They keep sending me hate mail which gets instantly blocked, so really they're just shooting themselves in the foot.

I’m wondering, (this isn’t really Proship related, but I’m just asking around) if you’re more busy in your life, does that mean that you can’t enjoy fanfiction as much? I’m confused because I saw someone say that if you’re not engaging in fandom frequently you just kinda… drift out of it eventually??

Its not strictly a fandom or fanfiction matter where busy people often need to prioritize the things that consume their time. And unfortunately, hobbies are often sacrificed to make time for things that are more necessary or prominent.

In terms of fandom-based hobbies:

This can often lead to people feeling overwhelmed with having to catch up on everything they've missed in fandom spaces or re-inserting themselves into the community, or simply losing interest in a fandom for whatever reason. If you were only a casual fan of something beforehand, prolonged distance from it can more or less erase it from your mind for other things which are deemed more interesting or important.

It isn't a surefire thing, before you go feeling resigned about it. Plenty of people are capable of gravitating back and forth in fandom spaces, coming and going as they need to and never fully pulling away from the fandoms they enjoy. Its all down to the individual and who they are and what they have time for in the moment. Interests and priorities are always changing.

I'm a fairly busy person in real life, but I try to "graze feed" on fandom daily rather than trying to carve out chunks of time for it which may get interrupted or sidelined for other things (which can grow frustrating and lead to a lack of motivation.)

E.g; I'll scroll Tumblr on my phone while eating on my lunch break, or while I'm cleaning I'll have a TV episode playing so I can follow along as I go. While I'm going my skincare I'll have a podfic going, or I'll read some fic before sleeping as a "wind down" tactic.

Time management is frankly one of the largest things within our lives. We have a finite amount of it, and learning and choosing how to spend it is a universal experience.

hi! just asking your opinion on RPF, i’m very very new to the proship/fanfic community and really don’t know how to feel abt it. i haven’t heard anyone’s takes on it so far so i’d love to hear your thoughts!

RPF is just another form of fiction. Its no different to any kind of other fictional literature, fandom space, creative action, ect. The people are, essentially, just characters. You're using them to tell a story.

A lot of people's issue with RPF comes into play because of individuals who ignore the proper etiquette behind RPF and ruin it for everyone. The general concern is that unlike fictional characters, real people are capable of seeing what you create and getting upset, offended or angry over it.

This is where its important to remember the following rules regarding RPF:

Never send RPF to the people whom it concerns, people close to them or people in reasonable contact with them. Personally, even if an actor has said they don't mind RPF about themselves, I wouldn't push it on them. Accepting something's existence isn't always the same as wanting to be invested or involved in it.

Similar to above, make sure you're not tagging them or using searches the person is known to frequent. (E.g; if you're posting ship art, don't tag the people involved.)

Where possible, keep RPF to closed-off websites like AO3 and Tumblr where the people involved would actually have to go looking for it in order to be exposed to it. (Sites like X are next to impossible to actually curate and monitor and are awful for this kind of thing.)

Ensure you are properly tagging and marking your content so in the instance it can't fully be prevented from reaching the person/people, they are explicitly aware of what it is. (Another reason why sites like Tumblr and AO3 are simply the best option.)

Anyone who is famous will be aware that there are people who view them and use their image sexually. Every single famous person knows this. In industries like kpop, even, bromances are actively marketed because they know its lucrative and sought after.

Famous people are also more than aware of how to avoid content they don't want to see. They're aware of sites like AO3 and know once they go there its a lawless (albeit well tagged) wasteland of hardcore smut and the unimaginable. They know if they don't want to see certain things they simply have to stay away from certain platforms, tags, key words, ect.

Famous people aren't helpless little ducklings accidentally stumbling upon twisted non-con fanfic of them and their colleagues on an hourly basis like some people assume.

Although RPF is just another form of fiction is does require a bit more respect, conduct and consideration. That's all.

on the topic of your post about having politics-free spaces, it reminds me of how i can't seem to get away from political posts even on my blog where i solely follow age regression content. you know, the thing largely triggered by trauma that puts you into a child like state of mind.

it's just insane to me to see people say that running an agere blog isn't an excuse to not talk about politics. considering it's a side of tumblr people go on while being in the mental space of a child, i think it absolutely is a good reason to not post or interact with politics.

literally even child friendly safe spaces can't just leave real world horrors out of it. it's insane.

I've seen people in the comments of food blogs and knitting blogs spamming things like FREE PALESTINE OR DIE and asking the blog owner what they're doing to use their platform to aid in Ukraine's efforts and its like.

Please. Just let people fucking breathe. What is that actually accomplishing. In the time it took you to bully one person over your assumed inaction you could've actually made a difference through donating, sharing resources, ect.

I've said it before but I'll say it again; we are so far removed from what it actually activism right now its ridiculous. Bullying people for wanting to learn how to make bread instead of sitting glued to news broadcasts watching people die is fucking insane.